1
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:13,054
No, really.
I've never had a serious boyfriend.
2
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:14,805
No one's really been interested.
3
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,308
Men can be such pigs.
4
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:20,811
It's not that people
weren't trying to fix me up.
5
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:24,190
Back in Manchester, me mum
was steering me toward Reginald Glower,
6
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,191
the butcher's son.
7
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,068
Pasty little thing.
8
00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,653
Never did take to him.
9
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:32,407
I suppose I like my gents
more on the manly side.
10
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,247
Was that a little swan you made?
11
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,374
No, it was a B-52.
12
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,128
Well, Dad's done it again.
13
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,838
That was Dr. Jenning's office
on the phone.
14
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,298
He skipped his physical again today.
15
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,342
Why, that little devil.
16
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,386
No wonder he didn't
want me to go with him.
17
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,429
Frasier, you know
Dad's intense aversion to doctors.
18
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,847
You should've seen that he got there.
19
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,141
I didn't see you volunteering
to take him this afternoon.
20
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,477
Well, I couldn't. I had my
Fear of Abandonment Workshop today
21
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,355
and I've already been a no-show twice.
22
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,816
Wait till your father gets here.
23
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,944
I'll give him such a piece of my mind.
24
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,994
If only we had some way
of knowing when he was about to arrive.
25
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,081
Hey.
26
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,333
How you doing, boy?
27
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,168
Yeah, glad to see you too.
28
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:28,254
So how was your exam today?
29
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,798
Oh, you know those things, pretty routine.
30
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,633
- EKG?
- Perfect.
31
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,760
- Blood pressure?
- Textbook.
32
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,554
Hope they took a full blood panel.
33
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,974
Oh, yeah.
I told them to take two. They're small.
34
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,560
Ooh, let's give a look.
35
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,272
Oh. Look at this.
36
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,858
A nice big Band-Aid.
37
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:49,942
Nice try.
38
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,028
Ouch!
39
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,821
What'd you do that for?
40
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:57,033
Dr. Jennings' office called
to reschedule your appointment.
41
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,868
You never showed up today.
42
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:01,662
Dad, this is ludicrous.
Why do you keep avoiding the doctor?
43
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,622
Because I feel fine.
44
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,624
I'll go to the doctor
when I don't feel fine.
45
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,250
Besides, I don't like Dr. Jennings.
46
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,793
He's got a model of a colon on his desk.
47
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,671
He keeps his tongue depressors in it.
48
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,009
All right, Dad, fine.
49
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,178
If you don't like him,
why don't you go to see my doctor?
50
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,055
She's one of our finest
gastroenterologists.
51
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:19,972
"She"?
52
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,184
Oh, ho, ho! No, no. No way.
53
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,101
If a doctor's gonna have me bend over,
54
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,979
I want to look through my legs
and see wing-tips.
55
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,859
Now, now, we'll have none of that.
56
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:35,571
We women have been poked and
prodded by male doctors for centuries.
57
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:39,825
I say it's high time you gents
went to see a doctor of the opposite sex.
58
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,078
See how you like waiting in that room,
59
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:45,289
sitting there all naked
and helpless and goose-bumpy.
60
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,292
Niles, surely you can recommend someone.
61
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:49,836
Niles.
62
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,258
I'm sorry. My mind was somewhere else.
63
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,260
But-- Oh!
64
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,513
I know who you should see.
Dr. Gary Newman.
65
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,474
His office is in my building.
He has a very successful practice.
66
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,226
I saw a Lichtenstein
hanging in his office.
67
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,020
Ooh, a Lichtenstein. He sounds perfect.
68
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:09,730
All right. All right.
69
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,482
I'll make an appointment
and I'll go see him.
70
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,109
Oh, now, just hang on a second there.
71
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,986
I will make the arrangements
and I will escort you personally.
72
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,446
Wonderful. I can't wait.
73
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,073
Oh, stop grumbling.
74
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,533
It won't be so bad.
75
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,619
Well, unless you have to parade
around the office in one of those gowns
76
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,872
where your little bum
peeks through the back.
77
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,458
Niles, what's Dr. Newman's number?
78
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,753
Niles-- Niles!
79
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,881
I'm sorry, I must have drifted off again.
80
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,096
My appointment was half an hour ago.
81
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,098
How much longer
are we gonna wait for this guy?
82
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,766
Come on, Frasier. Let's get out of here.
83
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,352
Dad, just relax. Read a magazine.
84
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,604
Oh, here, here, take the Cosmo quiz.
85
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,401
"Are your nipples sensitive?"
86
00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,448
Dad, would you mind doing that quietly?
It's not an oral exam.
87
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,325
You haven't seen the second question.
88
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,871
Did you used to keep
your patients waiting like this?
89
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,247
Oh, just the compulsives.
90
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,791
It was part of their therapy.
91
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,754
Relax. Here, I'll take care of it.
92
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,762
Yes, my father, Martin Crane,
had an appointment 30 minutes ago.
93
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,929
Yes, I'm sorry.
94
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,765
The doctor's running
a little late this morning,
95
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,349
but you'll be first up when he gets in.
96
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,934
When he gets in? My God.
97
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,644
Where's he coming from, Spokane?
98
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,814
Actually, he has a long drive in
from his weekend house in Lake Chelan.
99
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,318
Lake Chelan. Ooh.
This guy must be terrific.
100
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,613
- So?
- Dad, relax. He'll be here any minute.
101
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:48,121
You know, Dad, I was just struck
by one of life's little ironies.
102
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,333
I remember you taking me to the doctor,
and now here I am taking you.
103
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:53,210
Yeah.
104
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,711
Remember when I took
you for your first tetanus shot.
105
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,796
You were about five or six.
106
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,297
Oh, boy, was I scared.
107
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,216
- I remember you holding my hand.
- Yeah.
108
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,135
You bent over that table,
dropped your little drawers.
109
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,428
When the nurse gave you the shot,
110
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,933
you took your mind off it by reciting
the names of all of Pucini's operas.
111
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,645
Right then I knew you'd never be a cop.
112
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,732
Look, I'm serious.
I'm not staying in here any longer.
113
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,691
Let's go.
114
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:21,446
All right, look, I'll check and see
if there's someone substituting for him.
115
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:25,992
What are you here for?
116
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:31,121
Well, lately, I've been having
this overall sluggish feeling.
117
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,543
It's hard even getting
out of bed in the morning.
118
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,378
Not to mention the cold weather.
119
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:40,131
It's really making my joints hurt.
120
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,511
I've started to notice
flaking spots on my skin.
121
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,640
What about you?
122
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,893
I have sensitive nipples.
123
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,236
Dad, I'm afraid the doctor won't
be able to make your appointment today.
124
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,446
Ah, that's just great.
125
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:06,615
These big-shot doctors,
they keep you waiting for an hour
126
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,118
and then they don't
have the decency to show up.
127
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,829
What, play a little slow
on the golf course today?
128
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,747
That arrogant, inconsiderate jerk.
129
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,543
Dad, Dad, Dad. Dr. Newman is dead.
130
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,587
He died an hour ago.
131
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,216
I'm sure he was a good man.
132
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,848
I mean, there he is walking
down his walkway this morning
133
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,892
and he bends over
to pick up his newspaper, and, bang.
134
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,144
He drops dead of a heart attack. Just...
135
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,813
God, you know, I pick up
my newspaper every day.
136
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,523
And the Sunday Times is very heavy.
137
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,026
I'm thinking of canceling.
138
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,028
Well, these things happen.
139
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,614
"These things happen"?
Roz, how can you say that?
140
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,241
My God, this was not an old man.
He was my age.
141
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,910
What am I supposed to say?
142
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,163
I guess I just don't think
about these things like you do.
143
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:57,375
Maybe it's because you're 41
and I'm... not.
144
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,753
Don't you ever think
about your own mortality?
145
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,296
Don't you ever think about dying?
146
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,839
Well, not me dying.
147
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,050
But you know what
I have thought about lately?
148
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,260
I've been dating this older guy.
149
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:11,890
And what if, you know...
150
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,685
we were in bed together
and he dropped dead?
151
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:18,771
Well, it's not
out of the realm of possibility.
152
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,231
Sometimes he starts breathing
really funny, and I don't know
153
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,359
if he's having a good time
or if I've just overexcited him
154
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,903
to some dangerous level.
155
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:29,908
Someone certainly has
a very high opinion of herself.
156
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,786
Everybody's good at something.
157
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:36,497
Roz, why is it that every time
we try to have a serious discussion,
158
00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,374
we end up talking about your sex life?
159
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,626
Because I have one.
160
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,428
Niles, thank you so much
for coming on such short notice.
161
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,930
Hello, Dad, Daphne.
162
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,432
- Hello, Dr. Crane.
- Yes, I came as soon as I could.
163
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:59,187
I was in the middle of my workout,
but I can always pump iron later.
164
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,318
Well, I'll just pop into the kitchen
and fix us a snack.
165
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:07,904
"Pump iron."
166
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,366
Niles, you don't even pump your own gas.
167
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,828
All right. All right.
168
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,747
Now, what's all this nonsense
about getting your affairs in order?
169
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,874
Well, this-- This Dr. Newman
dying at such a young age
170
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,377
really threw me for a loop.
171
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:25,713
Trying to figure out why,
and I finally realized I hadn't made
172
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,882
the proper provisions for my own death.
173
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:29,509
Here we go.
174
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,263
- Oh, here, allow me.
- Oh, thanks.
175
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:37,433
Well, first,
the pertinent information.
176
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,643
I've prepared copies for each of you.
177
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:44,898
The location and numbers of
my bank accounts, my safety deposit keys,
178
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,567
the number for my attorney--
179
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:47,902
Niles, what are you doing?
180
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,530
Oh, give me that.
181
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,868
I loosened it for him.
182
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:59,705
Now, the distribution
of my personal possessions.
183
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,458
Oh, I really think this is
a matter for family only.
184
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,168
No, Daphne, please.
I'd like you to stay.
185
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,586
I'll come to you later.
186
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:09,882
Dad, Niles, I'd like you
to put your names on these stickers
187
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,595
and place them on any of the objects
that you would like bequeathed to you.
188
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,764
This is crazy.
189
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,724
I'm not going to put my name
on your stuff.
190
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,392
But, Dad, what happens if I die tomorrow,
191
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:23,854
you and Niles end up in an argument over,
well, that African mask, for instance?
192
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:24,898
It'll never happen.
193
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,275
Niles, you can have it.
194
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,235
I don't want it.
195
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,572
Don't look at me.
196
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,617
I throw a towel over that thing
when you're not home.
197
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,580
Okay. Fine.
198
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,959
Well, now we come
to the issue of... my remains.
199
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,002
Oh, jeez.
200
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,797
I've arranged every detail
here in this easy-to-read binder.
201
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:52,424
This is taking it too far.
202
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,509
Will you look at this?
203
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:57,806
Burial... casket... caterers?
204
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,307
- Who are you using?
- Michael son's.
205
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,518
Oh, they're very good. Excellent choice.
206
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,982
Excuse me. Excuse me!
207
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:09,651
Are we about done?
208
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,405
Well, there is just one more duck
to put in the row.
209
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,283
I've done some research
and I've discovered
210
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,911
that most unexpected deaths
occur in the home.
211
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,496
And, Daphne, this is where you come in.
212
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:25,416
The actual... finding of the body.
213
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,212
Oh, save the best part for me, eh?
214
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,506
Well, that's all right.
215
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,258
I'm a healthcare provider.
216
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,302
I've had my fair share
of patients die on me.
217
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:37,887
That's a comfort.
218
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:43,058
Well, perhaps you're right. Maybe
we should just drop the subject. Well...
219
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,477
Thank you. This meeting
has actually made me feel better.
220
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,688
I think I can handle my mortality
a bit better now.
221
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,399
Well, enough talk about death.
222
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,444
Let's celebrate life with a bottle
of Chateau Certan '75.
223
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,196
Oh. No, not the '75.
224
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,866
I can't let you do that.
That's far too good for the likes of us.
225
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:02,077
Well, perhaps a Beaujolais
Nouveau would be more appropriate.
226
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,079
Yes.
227
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,141
Eddie?
228
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,769
Oh, there you are. Come on, boy.
229
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,275
Frasier, what are you still doing up?
230
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,111
- Frasier.
- Mm-hm.
231
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,948
Dad, please, shh,
I'm trying to listen to my heartbeat.
232
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,577
Amazing thing, the human heart.
233
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,038
You know, it can pump
1800 gallons of blood
234
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,581
through it each and every day.
235
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:50,918
But just the tiniest tear
in the tiniest part of the tiniest artery,
236
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,961
and, poof, you're gone.
237
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,631
I thought you were all okay
about this stuff now.
238
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,216
Oh, so did I.
239
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,843
What is the matter with me?
240
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:03,138
I thought that putting my affairs in order
would help me to deal with this thing,
241
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,224
but it hasn't.
242
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,851
I can't seem to get over the feeling
that no matter how remote the possibility,
243
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,104
something could happen to me.
244
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,858
And... I'd miss so much.
245
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:18,029
I'd never get to see my son
hit his first home run.
246
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,199
That would be a terrible thing
for a father to miss.
247
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,368
Tell me about it.
248
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,540
Look, son, let me tell you something.
249
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,794
There was this time a while back,
250
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,755
seven or eight of us
were on this drug bust.
251
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,925
We got the order to go through the
front door, and the first guy took one.
252
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,386
He was dead before he hit the ground.
253
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:46,223
When you're a cop, you've gotta
be able to handle things like that.
254
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,393
But I-- I just couldn't get over it.
255
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:53,231
Every time I had to go in a blind alley
or in a dark building, I just froze.
256
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:58,068
And I knew if I kept being afraid to die,
I'd never be able to do my job.
257
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,403
So, what did you do?
258
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,321
I just forced myself to forget about it.
259
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,031
- Just like that?
- Just like that.
260
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,286
Next time I came to one of those doors,
I went right through it.
261
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,331
The fact that I got shot in the hip
was purely coincidental.
262
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,879
You were this close
to helping me there, Dad.
263
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:22,217
Look, Frasier, just because some doctor
dies doesn't mean you're gonna die.
264
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,803
Yeah, but he was just like me.
265
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,347
Highly educated, sophisticated.
266
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,307
He was at the top of his profession.
267
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,767
I saw a picture of him in a journal.
He even looked like me.
268
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,564
Same determined chin, sweater vest,
and ever-so-slightly receding hairline.
269
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,566
But what do you know about this guy?
270
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,610
You don't even know his medical history.
271
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:43,989
Actually, you're onto something there,
Dad. Yeah. Yeah.
272
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,366
For all I know, he could have
had high blood pressure,
273
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,410
popped pills, drank like a fish.
274
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,746
There you go.
Could've been any of those things.
275
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,081
Well, I'm gonna find out
what caused his heart attack.
276
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,834
That's the only way
I can disassociate myself from him.
277
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,546
There's got to be
some reasonable explanation.
278
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,424
That's great, Dad. I do feel better now.
Thanks.
279
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:03,717
Uh, Frasier.
280
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,428
You've got something on your bathrobe.
281
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,808
Niles.
282
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,525
The vultures are circling.
283
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:21,944
Come on, Eddie.
284
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,417
Hello. Hello.
285
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:41,671
I... I called earlier.
Someone said Mrs. Newman would be here.
286
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,257
Oh, of course. Please come in.
287
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,133
I'm Allen Freedman.
288
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,218
Gary was my cousin.
289
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,427
Dr. Frasier Crane.
290
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,429
My sincerest condolences.
291
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,391
So I-- I didn't think
Mrs. Newman would have company.
292
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,267
Oh, well, the family is sitting shiva.
293
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,729
- Excuse me?
- You're not Jewish, are you?
294
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,064
It's our version of a wake.
295
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,607
Oh. Oh, yes.
296
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:01,858
Oh, of course. Of course.
297
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,152
I didn't-- I didn't realize
that Gary was Jewish.
298
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,070
You're kidding?
299
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,656
Oh, well, you know,
we were pretty close friends.
300
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,910
We spent a lot of time together. Well,
never on Friday nights, of course, but...
301
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:14,996
You know, maybe I should
come back another time.
302
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:18,291
No, no, please. I'm sure that Jill
would love to know you came.
303
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:21,087
- She's right over there.
- Oh, she looks busy.
304
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,089
- Well, I can wait.
- Of course.
305
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:24,924
Will you excuse me?
306
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,314
- May I help you?
- Uh...
307
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,859
I didn't realize that this was a mirror.
308
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,404
I thought maybe you were
having an unveiling later.
309
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,740
You're not Jewish, are you?
310
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,659
Uh...
311
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,368
No. No.
312
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,203
My-- My ex-wife is, though.
313
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,164
And thus, my son is.
314
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,416
Which makes me sort of, well,
I guess you could say--
315
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,960
No, I'm not Jewish.
316
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,589
We always cover mirrors at a shiva
317
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:08,300
so those grieving
don't have to be concerned
318
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,260
- with their own appearances.
- Ah.
319
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,513
Well, you look very nice.
320
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:16,142
Oh, thank you. It's been driving me crazy.
321
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,729
I'm Bobbie, Gary's aunt.
322
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,272
Dr. Frasier Crane.
323
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,690
My deepest sympathies.
324
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,775
You're the doctor
with the radio show, aren't you?
325
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,693
Yes. Yes.
326
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,195
Did you know Gary well?
327
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,030
Well, yes, yes, yes, I did.
328
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:33,533
Well, there was so much more
I wanted to know about the man, you see.
329
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:38,371
Well-- Oh, I don't know,
how was his health before he died?
330
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,332
Excellent. He was never sick.
331
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,875
- History of heart disease?
- Oh, no.
332
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:42,876
- High blood pressure?
- No.
333
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:43,835
- High cholesterol?
- No.
334
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,879
Do you know his HDL
in comparison to his LDL?
335
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,088
No.
336
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,673
I'm sorry.
337
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,883
I'm asking too many questions.
338
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:53,930
You know how doctors are always looking
for the answers to the mysteries of life.
339
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,264
Oh, Gail.
340
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,432
Aunt Bobbie.
341
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,560
I know. I know.
342
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:06,191
Gail, I'd like you to meet a friend
of Gary's, Dr. Frasier Crane.
343
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:08,652
Dr. Crane? From the radio?
344
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:09,570
Ah.
345
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,072
Yes. I-- I'm sorry for your loss.
346
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,698
I love your show.
347
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,743
Oh, I'm-- I'm sorry about this.
348
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:20,872
It's just, when I went to pick up this
Linzer torte, I thought of Gary and...
349
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,459
So-- So Gary had a fondness
for fattening desserts, did he?
350
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,504
You didn't know Gary
very well, did you?
351
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:30,090
If he knew
I bought this here, he'd kill me.
352
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:32,551
Yeah, Gary was a total health fanatic.
353
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,885
A strict vegetarian.
354
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,595
I played basketball
with him every Sunday.
355
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,514
Oh, oh, so he was sedentary all week
356
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,016
and then he was burning up the court
on Sundays.
357
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,018
- That can be very straining on the heart.
- No.
358
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,312
He played at least four times a week.
359
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,898
That is, when he wasn't
at the gym working out.
360
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,651
Gary was in phenomenal shape.
361
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,571
He didn't smoke,
never touched caffeine.
362
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,156
Do you know he had
less than 10% body fat on him?
363
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,658
My goodness.
364
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:59,370
Has anybody checked
to see if he's really dead?
365
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,794
I-- I'm sure they did check.
366
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,672
Those people are very thorough. Um...
367
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,341
Oh, my, is that kugel? Excuse me.
368
00:18:25,021 --> 00:18:26,439
Mrs. Newman.
369
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,984
I'm Dr. Frasier Crane.
I was a friend of your husband's.
370
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,696
- Dr. Crane, from...
- Yes, the radio. Yes.
371
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:39,535
- Gary never mentioned you.
- Well... We weren't actually friends.
372
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,454
He had an office in my brother's building.
373
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,040
And you took the time to come down here.
374
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,584
His own partner
didn't even stay 15 minutes.
375
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,169
That's really sweet of you.
376
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:53,381
Well, actually, I...
There's a reason I came to talk to you.
377
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,508
Which is?
378
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:59,304
It's about Gary, about how he, uh...
379
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:00,222
Yes?
380
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,060
Look, I'm sorry I bothered you.
381
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,354
I really just came to offer my sympathies.
382
00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,065
No, wait. Um...
383
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:17,823
Dr. Crane, I listen to you all the time,
and, well, maybe you could help me.
384
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,788
What would you tell someone
who called in the show
385
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:28,042
and said they can't get over
why someone died?
386
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:32,004
I keep running this
over and over in my mind...
387
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:36,257
and I just can't understand
how someone like Gary,
388
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,970
who did everything right... can just die.
389
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,057
I can't make any sense of it.
390
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:48,521
Mrs. Newman...
391
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:53,900
I know you'd like me to come up with
some grand answer to this whole thing.
392
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,695
But I-- I don't have one.
393
00:19:57,071 --> 00:20:00,365
Someone who consumes
nothing but cigarettes and cheeseburgers
394
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,158
all his life can live to be 83,
395
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,704
and yet someone
who takes care of himself...
396
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,872
can die at 41.
397
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:09,458
It's unfair.
398
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,335
And there's no explanation for it.
399
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,879
Believe me, I've checked.
400
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,132
But, uh...
401
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:19,802
I suppose the best we can do is...
402
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:25,808
ls live for the little joys
and surprises that life affords us.
403
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,895
You can't spend your life
being obsessed with death.
404
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,315
You're not Jewish, are you?
405
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,239
No, no, I'm not. But, uh...
406
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,159
Well, thank you
for letting me be here today.
407
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,037
Oh, thank you for coming, Dr. Crane.
408
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:58,298
Oh, Dr. Crane, it was very nice,
what you said about living life
409
00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:01,760
for the little joys
and surprises it can give us.
410
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,555
- Yes.
- Thank you. Thank you.
411
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,641
If only I believed it myself.
412
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,976
Excuse me.
413
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:10,936
Um...
414
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:15,649
This is clearly the most inappropriate
thing I've ever done in my life, but...
415
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,486
Well, I was watching you and, um,
416
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,780
I don't know if I'll ever
get the chance to see you again,
417
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:26,242
and, um, something about you
tells me I'd like to.
418
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,787
Um, here.
419
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:32,833
If you'd like to get together sometime,
give me a call.
420
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:52,770
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
421
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:54,854
♪ Mercy ♪
422
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:59,943
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused
Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
423
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:07,076
♪ But I don't know what to do with those
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
424
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:09,453
♪ They're calling again ♪
425
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:13,582
Frasier has left the building.