1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,629 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,638 [Niles] So I just had to get out of the house. 3 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:15,098 Maris' junior league is rehearsing their spring musicale. 4 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,475 This year they're doing Cats. 5 00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:19,520 For the past week and a half I've been watching two dozen 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,147 underweight, tightly-pulled women in leotards 7 00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,941 crawling around the music room, meowing. 8 00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,819 I'm telling you, Frasier, my allergies are acting up. 9 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,948 Oh, Niles, I think you're exaggerating. 10 00:00:30,948 --> 00:00:33,951 No, really, you have no idea how vivid the experience is. 11 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:36,828 As God is my judge, I swear Mrs. Presley Bismouth 12 00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,455 was scent marking the divan. 13 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:44,461 God, you'd think women of that age would choose more suitable material. 14 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,713 Remember the last show they did, The Sound of Music? 15 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:49,716 My God, half the Von Trapp children were having hot flashes. 16 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,555 Hi, Frasier. Niles. 17 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,682 Let me guess. The wacky gang from the office? 18 00:00:56,682 --> 00:01:00,435 Everyone, this is my brother, Niles. This is Teddy, one of our engineers. 19 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:01,853 - Teddy, my man. - Niles. 20 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,818 This is KACL's own inimitable Chopper Dave. 21 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:11,321 - Your eye in the sky for traffic. - [yelling] Nice to meet you, Niles. 22 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,577 - Why is this man yelling? - [in normal voice] Oh, was I yelling? 23 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,829 Oh, God, I was yelling again, wasn't I? 24 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,914 I'm sorry. Talking over the blades. 25 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,791 You know, [mimics helicopter] 26 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,295 That's great. This has been kind of fun. Uh... 27 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,922 But I really have to go. 28 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,009 I'm conducting a seminar in multiple personality disorders, 29 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,136 and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags. 30 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,607 Well, KACL team, what is on the agenda for today? 31 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,358 Sit down and listen to this. 32 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:52,696 I got a juicy piece of news, and it's reliable. 33 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,906 Allen in Accounting got it from Steven in Promotions 34 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,533 who got it from Cindy in Sales 35 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,785 who got it from Arlene, the station secretary, 36 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,705 that the station is definitely way over budget 37 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,624 and somebody's getting the ax. 38 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,043 But don't tell anybody. I was sworn to secrecy. 39 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,504 Roz, I'm ashamed of you. Gossip, gossip, gossip. 40 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:11,131 Don't you realize how destructive it can be? 41 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,633 It sullies good people's names, 42 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,676 and create an atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust. 43 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,386 Oh, lighten up! 44 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:19,056 Gossip is the lifeblood of the corporate world. 45 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:22,351 If it wasn't for gossip, we wouldn't know any of the important things. 46 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,227 Like how much everybody makes. 47 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,771 You know my salary? 48 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,231 [yelling] No one's salary's a secret around here. 49 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,486 - Ninety-four, 95, 96, 97... - [Teddy] Hey, Bulldog, how's it going? 50 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:36,073 Great. Ninety-eight, 99, 100. New high for me. 51 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,699 Squeezing or counting? 52 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,496 [barks] Java to go. 53 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,207 You know who I think's getting dumped? 54 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,876 Father Mike from Religion on the Line. 55 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:51,630 No way. Station loves him. Just gave him a big bonus. 56 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:55,384 Hey. Where's my tickets to the Sonics game? 57 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,927 They were here just a second ago. 58 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,846 [yelling] Somebody stole my tickets to the Sonics game! 59 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,140 This stinks! This is total BS! 60 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,518 This is... [in normal voice] Oh, got them. Got them. 61 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,234 Hey, you guys don't think it's Bulldog who's getting canned? 62 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,527 - Could be. - [Frasier] No, no, no. 63 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,445 He's the stations highest-rated personality, 64 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,447 with the exception of women between 35 to 54 65 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,658 who think that I'm sort of a god. 66 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,079 But he has been in that salary beef with management. 67 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,164 And I heard him screaming at Business Affairs 68 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,083 for putting his expense account on hold. 69 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,918 Oh, yeah! Bulldog's out! 70 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,002 Shh! 71 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:36,383 Hey, have you heard my new gimmick for the show? 72 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,635 If the Seahawks beat Buffalo this Sunday, 73 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,346 I promise to do my entire show hanging by my feet. 74 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,597 Gee, you can do that? 75 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,851 Oh, sure. Practiced all morning. The real trick is drinking coffee. 76 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,269 I keep burning my eyes. 77 00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,982 Hey, Dave, you want my tickets to the Sonics game tonight? 78 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:55,068 Thanks. Why aren't you going? 79 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,279 Station manager wants to see me after work. 80 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,572 [all] Ooh. 81 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,907 Oh, people, people, you're jumping to conclusions. 82 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,242 Show a little respect. 83 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,786 Bulldog has devoted 15 years of his life to radio. 84 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,496 My own personal feelings aside, 85 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,249 the man deserves better than to become the object of some rumor 86 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,085 that as yet hasn't a shred of truth to it. 87 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,920 Yeah, I suppose you're right. 88 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,466 Yes, well, just in case, I've got dibs on his parking space. 89 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,308 [Roz] Dr. Crane, we have Don on his car phone. 90 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,310 He's having a problem with his weight. 91 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,144 Hmm. 92 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,607 Don, it's a common problem. I'm listening. 93 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,568 [Don] Ah, it's the screwiest thing, doc. I eat healthy. I work out. 94 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,029 But no matter what I do, I can't lose a pound. 95 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,280 It's very depressing. 96 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,283 Yes, well, losing weight can be a lifelong struggle. 97 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,451 Takes a commitment. 98 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,704 If you're ready to accept that, there are a number of things I can suggest-- 99 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,372 [woman] May I take your order, please? 100 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,838 Um, Don, what was that? 101 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,966 [Don] Oh, nothing. It was the radio. Oh, go ahead. You, you were talking. 102 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,260 Don, where are you? 103 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,637 I'm just driving around. 104 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,014 [woman] Please, speak into the clown's mouth. 105 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:09,893 Don... 106 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,687 [Don] Sorry, Dr. Crane. [mimics static] Oh, I'm gonna lose you. 107 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,190 I'm going into a tunnel. Goodbye. 108 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,151 Yes, and the light at the end of that tunnel 109 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,238 is a heat lamp over a large order of fries. 110 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,659 We'll be right back after the news. 111 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,370 Hey, Frasier, I gotta run up to Payroll. 112 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,038 - Be back in five. - Okay. 113 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,667 Oh, hi, Father Mike. 114 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,002 - Oh, hello, Frasier. Fine. - How're you doing? 115 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:40,340 Say, I just heard a rumor that somebody around here is being let go. 116 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,842 Do you know anything about that? 117 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,553 Because, to tell you the truth, I'm afraid it might be me. 118 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:48,265 Oh, Father, you should know better than to put any stock in idle office gossip. 119 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:52,269 I know, I know, but it's hard not to. My numbers have been down lately. 120 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:55,021 They keep changing my time slot. I'm really bummed. 121 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,484 Well, listen, Father, 122 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,654 I don't like to engage in gossip, but you have nothing to worry about. 123 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,447 Yes? Why? 124 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:08,285 Well, someone is being let go. But it's not you. 125 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:09,786 It's Bulldog. 126 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,748 - Bulldog! Oh, what a shame. - Yes. 127 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,792 Has anybody spoken for his parking space? 128 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:16,918 Well, I have. 129 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,296 Yes. 130 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,301 So I'm a goner, huh? 131 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,639 Bulldog! How long have you been...? 132 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,808 Long enough to know I'm the one who's out. 133 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,311 I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! 134 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,479 Oh, damn it! 135 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,817 Now I know why Ned Miller wants to see me after work. 136 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,985 It's to can my butt. 137 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,571 Why would he be willing to miss happy hour at El Paquito's? 138 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,031 The man is a total boozer! 139 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:49,576 Now, now. This is just a rumor. You know how out of the loop I am. 140 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,537 And after all I've done for this station, this is how they repay me! 141 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,248 That's it! Nobody fires Bob Brisco. 142 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,500 - I'll quit first. - Now, now, don't do anything rash. 143 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,128 Now listen, I suggest you just try to vent your anger first. 144 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,386 Well, there, way to go. 145 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,388 - Now, on your way. - You're damn right. 146 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,645 - Hey, Bulldog. - No time to talk, slim. I'm off to war. 147 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,107 [Roz groans] 148 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,651 Wait for me. 149 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,447 What was that? 150 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,033 - Bulldog's quitting. - Why? 151 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,952 Well, because Ned Miller is firing him. 152 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,912 - Who told you that? - You did. 153 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:37,040 That was just a rumor. You didn't tell him that, did you? 154 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,167 Oh, I didn't mean to. He overheard me. 155 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,585 Oh, God! 156 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,046 What? I mean, come on, you guys were so positive. 157 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,632 The expense account thing, meeting with management at 5. 158 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,968 That meeting was to discuss taking his show national. 159 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,095 Don't you know anything that goes on around here? 160 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,304 Apparently not! 161 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:56,059 Don't stand there. Call his secretary. She'll stop him before he gets in. 162 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,228 I don't believe this! This is incredible. 163 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,689 Yes, hello, hello, Arlene, Arlene. 164 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:03,274 Yes, listen, Bob Brisco's about to jump into the office and... 165 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:04,859 Oh, he did. Oh. 166 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,155 God, he's already burst into the office with Miller. 167 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,242 - Oh, God, this is a disaster. - Maybe not. 168 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,910 Maybe before Bulldog starts anything, 169 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,287 Miller will tell him what the meeting was really about. 170 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,872 Oh, I suppose you're right. 171 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,417 Yeah, they may be having a good laugh about this right now. 172 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,334 Yeah. 173 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,502 [barking] 174 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,675 Grab that mike. We're after the news in one minute. 175 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,636 I did it! I scorched him! [laughs maniacally] 176 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,638 You should've seen the look on his face. 177 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,850 I told him about the time his wife came on to me at the Christmas party. 178 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,228 I said there wasn't enough liquor in the world to make me sleep with that porker. 179 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,356 - You said that? - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 180 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,983 He even took a swing at me. 181 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,318 I gave him a little okey-dokey. He hit air! 182 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,362 My God! The man tried to strike you! Listen-- 183 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,448 Hey. Hey! No sudden moves, doc. 184 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,159 I'm still too pumped. I feel like popping someone. 185 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:57,579 My God, my God, this is unbelievable. 186 00:08:57,579 --> 00:09:00,498 A man has quit his job just because of a rumor that you spread! 187 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:01,666 Me? 188 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,129 The point of gossip is to talk behind the persons back, not in front of him. 189 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,423 I didn't realize you were unclear on this concept! 190 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,136 I'm a bad, bad man. 191 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,266 Well, Frasier, you have got to do something. 192 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,227 You've gotta call Ned Miller and get this whole thing cleared up. 193 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,064 "Call Ned Miller. Clear this thing up." The man is totally unstable. 194 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,691 He tried to take a swing at me the day he hired me. 195 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:30,070 [yelling] Oh, I just heard a hot rumor. Bulldog quit! 196 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,113 - No kidding. - But keep it under your hat. 197 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,156 Very hush, hush. 198 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,412 [doorbell rings] 199 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,001 Oh, Niles, what brings you here? 200 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,921 Well, I was hoping Daphne could take a look at this plant. 201 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,678 I bought it for Maris, but it unaccountably turned against her. 202 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:01,559 I thought Daphne was the perfect person to nurse it back to health 203 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,563 with her soft, sensual hands and her loving manner. 204 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:06,689 Is she here? 205 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,735 No, she stepped out. I don't know when she'll be back. 206 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,905 - Well, I'm off. - Well, hey, you can stay. 207 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,824 I haven't seen you for a while. We can visit. 208 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,325 Uh-- 209 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,285 Well, yes, we could, couldn't we? 210 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,006 - So, how are you? - Fine. 211 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,133 - You? - Fine. 212 00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:37,971 She's fine. 213 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:45,812 Pickle? 214 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,565 No, thanks. 215 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:01,035 Look, Niles, if you just came to see Daphne, you don't have to stay. 216 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,663 Dad, I can't believe you would say that to your own son. 217 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,290 I am deeply insulted. 218 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,710 Here I wanted to have some time with you, but now I'm so upset I'll have to leave. 219 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,756 Oh, hello, Dr. Crane. Staying for dinner? 220 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,924 Yes, love to. 221 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:20,138 Daphne, I had the fervent hope that you could coax this back to life. 222 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,639 It's one of Maris' favorites. 223 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,808 My goodness, what did she do to it? 224 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,894 Nothing. Just loved it. 225 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,772 God, do you believe this weather? 226 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,108 I'm glad you're home. What happened to Bulldog? 227 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:33,985 Who told you? 228 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,737 Nobody told me anything. 229 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,364 I tuned into the Gonzo Sports Show today like I always do, 230 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,241 and they had Father Mike filling in. 231 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,659 I hate that. 232 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:44,954 All it was, was Notre Dame, Notre Dame, Notre Dame. 233 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,919 Yes, well, Bulldog tendered his resignation. 234 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,337 [Martin] Oh, no! 235 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:55,215 Why would he do that? He's the top sports guy in town. 236 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,800 Yeah, you know, things just go funny sometimes. 237 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,011 It's a tough business, this radio game, you know? 238 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:03,139 Dr. Crane, I'm picking up something from you. 239 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,391 You're shrouded in an aura of guilt. 240 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,774 Maybe I am. 241 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,109 Daphne, that's fantastic. Do me. Do me. 242 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,199 No, I'm on to something here. 243 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:26,871 You actually think you're responsible for Bulldog losing his job. 244 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,915 - Frasier? - [Frasier] All right, all right. 245 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:32,543 There was a rumor going around the station that Bulldog was gonna get sacked, 246 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,380 I was repeating it to someone and he overheard me 247 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,383 and flew off the handle and went up and quit his job. 248 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,678 In the end, it turned out that the rumor wasn't true. 249 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,596 Of course, you already knew that, didn't you? 250 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,723 [cell phone ringing] 251 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,267 Oh, excuse me. 252 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,062 Hello. Maris. 253 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,481 Maris, what's wrong? 254 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:57,026 Oh, pumpkin, it's all right. No, no, everything's going to be... 255 00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:01,072 Oh, dear. I'm sorry, I have to go. Maris is despondent. 256 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,741 They've kicked her out of the cast of Cats. 257 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,784 Why? 258 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,453 She couldn't remember the words to "Memory." 259 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,920 Now, listen here, if you're responsible for Bulldog losing his job, 260 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,130 you gotta make this right. 261 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,174 Go to that station to talk to the boss and get him his job back. 262 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,509 That's easier said than done. 263 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,262 Ned Miller's the most intimidating, heartless, mean-spirited man 264 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,596 I've ever met. 265 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,973 And he cheats on his wife. 266 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:31,394 My goodness, I'm on today. Ooh. 267 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,605 So you sold Bulldog down the river 268 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,317 just because you don't have the guts to go and face this guy? 269 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,694 This might be the best thing that ever happened to him. 270 00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:42,322 He's always talking about how he should be in a larger market 271 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,823 like Los Angeles or New York. 272 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,327 Eddie, just scoot. Scat! 273 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:48,786 Stay. 274 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,498 - Bulldog. - Hi, doc. 275 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,209 What are you doing just standing there? 276 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,253 I don't know. 277 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,090 I was trying to decide whether or not I should bother you. 278 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:05,219 See, my life is kind of over, but you got company, so I'll go. 279 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,848 No, no, no, come in, come in. This is just family. 280 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,933 This is my dad and Daphne Moon. 281 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,352 - Hello. - Hey, Bulldog! 282 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,812 You're soaking wet. 283 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,982 Yeah, I've been wandering around the streets for the last few hours. 284 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,400 I heard what happened. 285 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,361 [Bulldog] You haven't heard the half of it. 286 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,863 My girlfriend threw me out. 287 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,742 She said the only reason she was with me was because I was on the radio. 288 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,494 Can you believe that? 289 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,412 Eight years we've been together. 290 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,622 I loved that woman. 291 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:36,250 Even when I was tomcatting around, I loved that woman. 292 00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:41,589 God, that job was my life, and now I've been blackballed in this business, 293 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,716 and all because of my stupid temper. 294 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:45,760 What is this, anyway? 295 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,597 Oh, that, that's an exceedingly rare fertility symbol 296 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,849 from a small nomadic tribe in Ghana. 297 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,519 I guess when they were passing out equipment, 298 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,145 this guy was in the back of the line. 299 00:14:57,188 --> 00:15:00,149 Anyway, I might as well face it, I'm just a loser. 300 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:04,779 I'm a zero, a nothing, a has-been. 301 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:05,738 Pickle? 302 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,663 Now I'm not familiar with your work myself, 303 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:16,290 but Mr. Crane here often puts off his nightly bath 304 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,708 just so he can hear your show. 305 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,420 Oh, yeah, you're the greatest, Bulldog. 306 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,256 If you weren't on the radio, I wouldn't have a radio. 307 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,966 That's a nice thing to say. 308 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,177 Now I know why your son is such a great guy. 309 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,019 Hey, uh, I've bothered you people enough. 310 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,229 I better go. 311 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:40,356 The good rooms at the Y fill up early. 312 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:48,573 Wait, Bulldog, I can't let you leave like this. 313 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,576 Here's a 20. 314 00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,668 Oh, all right, why don't you spend the night and you can take the couch. 315 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,713 - Wow. You'd do that for me? - Well, sure. 316 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:07,049 What's the point of having a suede couch unless you have people crashing on it? 317 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,011 [Bulldog] Thanks, doc. 318 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,806 Hey, I hope it's okay, but I could really use a hot shower. 319 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:14,849 Oh, sure, sure. 320 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,893 Down the hall. Second door on the left. 321 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,394 Towels are in the cabinet. 322 00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:28,613 Now you two just leave me alone. 323 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,032 This is not my fault. 324 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,743 Look, I am not responsible for Bulldog going up there 325 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,536 and popping off to the boss. 326 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,081 You can stare at me until you're blue in the face. 327 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,541 I am not gonna go see Ned Miller. 328 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,717 Well, all right! 329 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,346 I'll go down to that station. 330 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,640 I will talk to the monster on the sixth floor 331 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,768 and futilely attempt to get a man back his job that I don't even care for, 332 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:02,230 and in the process I will probably end up spitting out my teeth like Chiclets. 333 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,567 - Is there anything else I can do for you? - [barks] 334 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:09,820 Oh, if you're going by the market, we're low on dog food. 335 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,955 - [knocking on door] - [Miller] What? What? 336 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,376 - Mr. Miller... - Oh, it's you, Crane. 337 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,170 - Arlene wasn't at her desk. - No, I had to let her go. 338 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,257 A lot of stuff she's been doing lately has been ticking me off. 339 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,300 Well, if this is a bad time... 340 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,844 No, it's a perfect time. I need you to hold this. 341 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:36,097 Come on. Now. 342 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,598 Jeez. Come on. 343 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,309 Okay. How's this? 344 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,104 I'd love to tell you, but your big head's in the way. 345 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,403 Oh, put it down. 346 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,323 Oh, my Lord, what happened here? 347 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:58,035 Oh, that psycho Bulldog and I got into it this afternoon. 348 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,121 He threw my Golden Mic at me. 349 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,039 He did that with your little trophy? 350 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,041 No, he just chipped the paint with the trophy. 351 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,543 I did that with his head. 352 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:12,508 - Uh, that's sort of why I'm here. - Drink? 353 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,635 No, no, thank you, Mr. Miller. 354 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:18,514 I know that Bulldog was up here, and he said some things to you. 355 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,932 I'll say he said some things. 356 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,768 You wanna hear them? I tape everything in this office. 357 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:35,740 Well, anyway, a lot of what he said was my fault, you see. 358 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,408 Well, you see, I heard a rumor 359 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:41,120 that management was thinking about lightening the load a bit. 360 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:45,458 Well, I heard that it was Bulldog that was gonna get sacked. And I... 361 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,545 I was repeating a rumor to someone, and Bulldog heard me. 362 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,465 And that's why he came up here and started telling you-- 363 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,259 That I'm a drunk. That I'm incompetent at my job. 364 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,553 That my wife is a big, fat slut. 365 00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,890 That is indefensible. Your wife is not overweight! 366 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,688 Well, uh... 367 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,149 Well, anyway, my point is that, uh... 368 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,445 I'd like you to consider giving Bulldog his job back. 369 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:19,325 And whatever the consequences to me, I'm willing to accept it. 370 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,451 Look, I won't kid you. 371 00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:22,620 Bulldog meant big numbers to us in drive time. 372 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,704 We need him back. 373 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,331 I'll tell you what. 374 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,917 You get him to apologize to me. 375 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,585 Oh, hell, why don't I just say it? 376 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,254 If he'll kiss my ass, maybe we can work something out. 377 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,926 Oh, sir, I'm sure that'll make him so happy. 378 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:40,930 Um-- Well, I'll just get out of your hair. 379 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:45,142 Actually, Crane, that rumor about someone being let go... 380 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,354 - it's, uh, true. - What? 381 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:51,565 Now that you've so nobly gotten Bulldog his job back, 382 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:55,736 the station still needs to make some cutbacks in those high-priced salaries. 383 00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,238 God, not Father Mike! Oh, no. 384 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,907 No, it's not Father Mike. 385 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,033 Chopper Dave? 386 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,036 Ray the Green Grocer? 387 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,874 Bonnie "The Auto Lady" Weems? 388 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:17,007 Look, Crane, you're new to the radio game. 389 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,676 I've been around a long time. 390 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,429 People get fired, 391 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:24,181 but they always get back on their feet. 392 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,436 So I bet I could get you that drink now. 393 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,649 Yes, I bet you could. 394 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,359 - [phone rings] - Help yourself. 395 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,821 [clears throat] Ned Miller! 396 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,741 Yo, Jack! No, what's wrong? 397 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:43,826 Come on, tell me now. 398 00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:45,953 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 399 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,164 Yeah, I see. 400 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,958 No, no, no, I... 401 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:52,710 I got it. 402 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,503 [chuckles] 403 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:56,756 Thanks, Jack. 404 00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,304 Excuse me. 405 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,809 - Bad news? - Oh, you could say that. 406 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,519 I've just been fired. 407 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:16,192 They decided the best way to cut the budget was to get rid of my high salary. 408 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,153 Oh, Ned, I... 409 00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,489 I'm so sorry. 410 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,871 Then I guess this means that my job is still safe then? 411 00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:30,998 Yeah, I guess so. 412 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,375 Well, you know, Ned... 413 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:39,965 I haven't been in the radio game that long... 414 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:45,679 but I've been around long enough to know that people get fired. 415 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:48,933 And when they do, they always seem to land on their feet. 416 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,185 Now, I've known quite a few people and counseled them 417 00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,605 who have suffered similar setbacks, but in time you will embrace this. 418 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:57,066 Learn to think of it as, oh, a new chapter. 419 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,859 You know, in theatrical circles, 420 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:05,324 they always say, "Every exit is but an entrance to somewhere else." 421 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:11,705 God, I wish I had fired you when I had the chance. 422 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,795 [theme music playing] 423 00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:22,550 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' Tossed salad and scrambled eggs ♪ 424 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:24,718 ♪ Oh, my ♪ 425 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:27,054 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 426 00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,640 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 427 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,976 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 428 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,602 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 429 00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:36,981 ♪ With those tossed salads And scrambled eggs ♪ 430 00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:39,233 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 431 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:41,485 ♪ Good night! ♪