1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:03,962
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,345
Danielle, you're gonna have
to slow down a bit.
3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,514
I'm having a hard time understanding you.
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,098
[Danielle in French accent] I'm sorry.
5
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,434
I'm having a big, big problem
with my monthieur.
6
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- Excuse me, with your what?
- My monthieur.
7
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- Your monthieur?
- Oui. My monthieur. Every day.
8
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,321
- Is that your mother?
- No, my monthieur.
9
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Your masseur? Your Mercedes?
10
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monthieur! My monthieur! You must help me.
11
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,787
Well, Danielle, I... I, uh...
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The best advice I can give you is to, um,
either confront your "monthieur"
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or work on your self-esteem.
Thank you for your call.
14
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying go out
and have a good evening, Seattle.
15
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You deserve it.
16
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Roz, aren't you screening these calls?
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Yeah, but when you only have one,
you get a little less particular.
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- Oh, you look nice.
- Yeah? Well, I've got a date tonight.
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Oh, great.
20
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Oh, why are you wearing only one heel?
Did you break it off?
21
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No, I'm dating a sea captain
with a peg leg
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and this makes it easier
when we dance.
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I broke it off in a sidewalk grate.
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Okay, so who is this guy?
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Another one of those trendy young kids
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who's got three earrings and a ponytail,
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wearing a T-shirt under his sports coat?
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Is he here?
29
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Roz, where do you meet these people?
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For your information, this guy happens
to be a very successful media consultant.
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He graduated from Princeton,
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he has a house on Mercer island,
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and he owns a 40-foot sailboat.
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You met him on a bus, didn't you?
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No, actually, we shared a cab.
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All right, he was driving it.
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- Hello, Frasier.
- Hi, Niles. You remember Roz.
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- Yes, of course. What brings you here?
- Oh, nothing.
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Just passing by
and thought I'd stop in for a career.
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Oh.
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Good luck. Heh. [clears throat]
42
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Sorry I'm late, Frasier,
but the entrance to your parking garage
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is blocked by a cab driver
with a ponytail,
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scraping gum off his back seat.
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Madam, your chariot awaits.
46
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Well, we better get going, Niles.
47
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Oh, actually, bad news
on that score, Frasier.
48
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I'm afraid the lecture's been canceled.
49
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,312
Oh, well, I can't say
I'm really disappointed.
50
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I wasn't relishing the idea of three hours
on right-brain, left-brain synergy.
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I'll have you know I trimmed
that speech to two and a half hours
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and I open with a really funny
Al Gore joke.
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There's no use crying over spilled milk.
Now, we've got a free evening.
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Sounds like the perfect opportunity
for a couple of guys on the loose
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to hit a sports bar,
have a couple of brewskis,
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maybe take in a game or two.
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Right. But what shall we do?
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- Dinner?
- Perfect. No place fancy.
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I'm sure neither of us wants a heavy meal
with lots of wine and expensive desserts.
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- Oh, it's your turn to pay, isn't it?
- You know me so well.
61
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,647
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
62
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Are you sure it was all right to park
in that lot across the street?
63
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The sign said it was just
for customers of those stores.
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- I don't want to get a ticket.
- No, it's fine, Niles.
65
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I mean, I could just nip back
to Crabtree and Evelyn
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and buy a bar of lavender soap
just to be safe.
67
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Niles, Niles, sit down.
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Lavender soap.
For God's sakes, you're a man.
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- You'd look ridiculous.
- May I get you a drink?
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Fuzzy Navel,
blended nice and frothy, please.
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- And... Martini, Niles?
- No, thanks. I'm driving.
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I think I'll buy a bag of potpourri
or a set of hand towels.
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Just sit down.
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00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,806
Frasier, unless my eyes deceive me,
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that's Dad sitting over there.
76
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God, you're right.
77
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Gee, that's strange.
78
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:49,104
He said he was going to Duke's
to have a beer with the boys.
79
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,440
- Well, that certainly isn't the boys.
- Oh.
80
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,984
Seems we've caught him
in a clandestine rendezvous.
81
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,070
The slyboots. He had a date
and he didn't want us to know.
82
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,322
Oh, he's looking this way. Turn around.
83
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,287
- What are they doing?
- Well, it's sort of cute.
84
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He's holding her hand.
85
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And... Don't look. Don't look.
86
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I'll tell you when you can look.
87
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Uh, not now. Not now.
88
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Okay, now. No, not now.
89
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Oh, I don't like this one bit.
90
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,557
Why? What're they doing now?
91
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,767
No, nothing. I just realized,
92
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,810
if Dad's eating here,
this can't be a good restaurant.
93
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:29,770
Oh.
94
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,983
Well, I wonder if it's their first date.
95
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:38,069
Well, if it is, they seem to be
having a very good time.
96
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,362
So, what are they doing?
97
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,698
Well, they're leaning in
and talking to each other.
98
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,700
He's smiling at her.
99
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:49,331
She's just collapsed in tears.
She's sobbing uncontrollably.
100
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,834
Oh, yeah.
That's a Crane first date, all right.
101
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,586
Oh, she's coming this way. Hide.
102
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- Frasier, do you know who that is?
- She did look familiar.
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I'd swear that was Marion Lawlor.
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Marion Lawlor.
105
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My God, I haven't heard
that name since I was a kid.
106
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,642
I thought Mom and Dad
had a huge falling out with the Lawlors.
107
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They did. They did.
108
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It was that summer we shared a cabin
with them at the lake.
109
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,481
Well, maybe Dad's getting together
just to patch things up.
110
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Doing his usual bang-up job.
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This is really awkward.
We should just get out of here.
112
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No, Niles, if we leave now,
he's sure to spot us.
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[engine revs]
114
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,577
You know, Niles, maybe
you should have that martini after all.
115
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I can't, Frasier. I'm driving.
116
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Not anymore. They just towed your car.
117
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[Eddie growling]
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Eddie, you little hooligan,
get off that couch.
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You know you're not supposed to do that.
120
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If Dr. Crane sees you,
he's gonna throw you off the balcony
121
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and I'll be right behind you.
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Good boy.
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Now, you stay there.
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[growling]
125
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[Frasier] Well, Eddie.
126
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Glad to see my rules about the couch
are finally taking hold.
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Good dog.
128
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Dad? Daphne?
129
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Oh, hello, Dr. Crane.
130
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,888
Hello, Daphne. Say, where's Dad?
131
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,182
Mr. Dorsey down on eight invited him over
to watch the ballgame.
132
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,685
Oh, great. He's finally getting to know
some of the neighbors.
133
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What are you staring at?
134
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,357
Have you ever thought
about growing a mustache?
135
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,152
- No, I don't think it would suit me.
- Oh, yes, it does.
136
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,864
- You've never seen me with one.
- Actually, I have.
137
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,742
There's a billboard for your show
down on 16th Street.
138
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,912
Some kids went at you
with a can of spray paint.
139
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,205
- And it looked good?
- Oh, yes.
140
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,041
But a word to the wise.
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Take good care of your teeth.
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That look is not at all flattering on you.
143
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[doorbell rings]
144
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I'll get it.
145
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,470
Hello, Dr. Crane.
146
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,554
Hello, Daphne.
147
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,805
What brings you here?
148
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,557
A rent-a-car, thanks to my brother.
149
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,311
I assume you're here for a reason.
150
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,228
Ah, yes.
151
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,857
Frasier, last night, when I got home,
152
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that strange incident with Dad
and Mrs. Lawlor got me to thinking.
153
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,447
What was it that caused the rift
between our families?
154
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,618
So I dug out my old boyhood journal
and looked up my entries
155
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,120
from our last summer together
at the lake.
156
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,873
According to this,
157
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,167
there was a three-week period
158
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,879
where Mom and Dad had screaming matches
every night after we went to bed.
159
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,130
I don't recall that.
160
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,257
Oh, that's right.
That was the same period
161
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,636
where you insisted on wearing
the wax earplugs and the slumber mask.
162
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,806
Well, I had to,
what with you underneath the covers
163
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,141
with a flashlight
looking at the National Geographics.
164
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,643
I was looking at the maps.
165
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,353
That's what makes it so scary.
166
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,694
- Now, what was your point?
- Well, according to my journal,
167
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,072
something more provocative
happened during that same period.
168
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:09,906
Here.
169
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,242
- Read this.
- [clears throat]
170
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,664
"Though summer at the lake seems
but a vapid, vacuous experience,
171
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,959
it is a necessary tonic
for my troubled youth."
172
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,669
Niles, how old were you
when you wrote this?
173
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,670
Almost 9.
174
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Which explains the redundancy,
"vapid and vacuous."
175
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Yeah.
176
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,096
By 10, my writing
had gotten considerably tighter.
177
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,472
Among other things.
178
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,186
The point is that that same night,
I crept out onto the screen porch,
179
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,480
leaving the lights off
so as not to attract bats and moths.
180
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,818
As I peered out through the darkness,
181
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:52,198
between the trees I saw the figures of Dad
and Mrs. Lawlor in each other's arms.
182
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,367
I think it's pretty clear
what happened, Frasier.
183
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,910
Dad and Mrs. Lawlor had an affair.
184
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,829
Oh, come on, Niles.
185
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,206
Look, I appreciate your attempt
to spice up our family history,
186
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,125
but, really,
we're not a Jackie Collins novel.
187
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,043
It's ridiculous.
188
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,337
Is it? All right.
Allow me to present Exhibit B.
189
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:10,175
This is a photo album Mom prepared
of photos from the same period.
190
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,427
Ooh, I love to see old family photos.
191
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,386
[exhales]
192
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,513
My goodness.
193
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:18,099
What a handsome, sinewy young bloke.
194
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,768
That was our dad. [chuckles]
195
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,519
You two take after your mother, don't you?
196
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,690
- All right, look at this picture.
- Ah. Mm-hm.
197
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,275
And this one here. That's Dad,
198
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,027
but the person next to him
has been cut out.
199
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,278
And if you look at this one,
200
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:34,491
you can still see the edges of a dress
and a handbag and tan sandals.
201
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,534
Here's one whose head
should have been cut out.
202
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:40,205
That scrawny little chap with
the fish-belly complexion and rain hat.
203
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:43,166
I was under doctor's orders
to stay out of direct sunlight.
204
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,921
Look, we don't know for sure that
that was Mrs. Lawlor.
205
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,716
And, besides, even then, it wouldn't prove
that Dad had an affair with her.
206
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:52,967
What are you two talking about?
207
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,137
Niles has this theory that Dad had
an illicit affair when we were youngsters.
208
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,264
Your father? I can't believe that.
209
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,225
- He's not the type.
- Well, that's what I think.
210
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,018
Besides, there's not enough proof.
211
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,938
- Are you saying it's not possible?
- Anything is possible.
212
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,398
- Then why don't you just ask him?
- Right.
213
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,650
"Good evening, Father.
214
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,360
By the way, did you boff
one of the neighbors
215
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,028
while we were roasting marshmallows?"
216
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,160
Ah. Ah. There's one sure way
to get the truth.
217
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,662
We'll call Aunt Vivian.
218
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:21,955
- No.
- Who's Aunt Vivian?
219
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,041
Better known as "The Mouth."
Keeper of the Crane family skeletons.
220
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,085
- No, Niles, we're not calling Aunt Vivian.
- Why?
221
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,087
Afraid you'll find something
you don't want to know?
222
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,714
Yes, that she knows where I live
and that she still drives.
223
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,718
You two are worse
than a couple of old washerwomen
224
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,178
gossiping over the back fence.
225
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,640
I'm telling you, the way to solve this
is to ask your father.
226
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,724
[Martin] Ask me what?
227
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,019
Your sons here have some cockeyed notion
228
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,981
that you had an affair
with some woman 30 years ago.
229
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,607
What?
230
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,448
Where the hell did that idea come from?
231
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:01,494
Well, last night Frasier saw you
having dinner with Marion Lawlor.
232
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,954
You were with me.
233
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,248
What are you two doing, spying on me?
234
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,001
No, no, Dad. we were just having
dinner together at the same time
235
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,795
when you were supposed to be having
some drinks with your buddies at Duke's.
236
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,755
And that proves
I had an affair 30 years ago?
237
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,216
No, no, but Niles dug out his journal,
238
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:19,804
and then he remembered this time
when he saw you and her hugging
239
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,472
and it was right around the same time
240
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,141
when you and Mom
seemed to be fighting a lot.
241
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,934
Then, suddenly,
you stopped seeing the Lawlors.
242
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,895
I don't believe this. This is stupid.
243
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,646
That's what I told them.
244
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,566
The hens here were even gonna give
some Aunt Vivian person a call.
245
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,738
Uh, Daphne, would you give me a minute
alone with these two?
246
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,616
Of course. I completely understand.
247
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,870
That's right, send the help to her room.
I never get to hear the good stuff anyway.
248
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,417
Don't bother calling Aunt Vivian.
249
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,003
You wanna know the truth?
250
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:52,921
Fine.
251
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,007
I had an affair.
252
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,386
It happened a long time ago,
and it's not anything I'm proud of.
253
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:04,182
And now that I've answered
all your questions, do me a favor.
254
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,602
This is never to be brought up again.
Understand?
255
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,646
End of discussion.
256
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,403
Well... [clears throat]
257
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,865
It's times like this that most families
258
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,661
pull together
and draw strength from each other.
259
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,747
What shall we do?
260
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,509
[Frasier] Oh, thank you.
261
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,013
Good, you're here.
I came by to see how you're doing.
262
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,056
I only have a few minutes.
263
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:48,142
I start my "Healing with Humor"
support group tonight.
264
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,271
And I still have to pick up my big shoes.
265
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,523
How am I doing?
266
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,692
How are you doing, Niles?
267
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,778
Doesn't it bother you
that your father cheated on my mother?
268
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,284
Frasier, your loyalties
are seeping through.
269
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,744
And I might point out
that I got Mom's small features
270
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,454
while you got Dad's chunky thighs.
271
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,751
The point is that it must have caused Mom
a great deal of pain.
272
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:14,752
Agreed.
273
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:19,007
But they went on,
and they had a very happy life together.
274
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,425
They got over it.
275
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,467
Why can't you?
276
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,845
I know that rationally
I should be able to hand this.
277
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:27,390
I deal with people
who exemplify human frailty every day.
278
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,726
But in this case, it's not people.
279
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,395
It's one of our parents
had an illicit affair.
280
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,275
How could he cheat with Marion knowing
the effect it would have on Mom,
281
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,944
not to mention the repercussions
it would have on you and me later on.
282
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,904
Why don't you just pull up a chair
and join us?
283
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:50,246
I just can't believe that it's...
It's our father.
284
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,666
I never had a great relationship with him,
285
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,378
but if there was one thing I always
respected about him, it was his integrity.
286
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,674
Just thinking about what he did,
it just sickens me.
287
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,970
Frasier, as your brother, as a therapist,
I think you have to let this go.
288
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,639
And a good first step would be
to come with me
289
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,683
to my "Healing with Humor"
support group.
290
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,437
Thank you,
but I think I just need a night to myself.
291
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,482
Well, if you change your mind,
it should be a hoot.
292
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,359
As we speak,
293
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,570
I'm wearing oversized polka dot boxers
and quick-release suspenders.
294
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,621
[Eddie growling]
295
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,465
Well, I see all sorts of things
have been going on behind my back.
296
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,424
Get the...
297
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,051
[doorbell rings]
298
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,809
Frasier?
299
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,310
Yes.
300
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,771
You may not remember me.
301
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,023
Marion Lawlor.
302
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,483
Yes, I remember you.
303
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,403
Is your dad home?
304
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,029
Uh, no, but if you come back later,
305
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,989
you can have the place to yourselves.
306
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,992
No, that's not necessary.
307
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:14,789
I had dinner with him the other night
and I left rather abruptly.
308
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,583
I just wanted to tell him I'm sorry.
309
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,961
Would you please give him my best?
310
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,130
Oh, I think you've already done that.
311
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,676
Did I come at a bad time?
You seem upset about something.
312
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,554
Would you come in for a moment, please?
313
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,184
After you met with Dad the other night,
314
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,811
he and I had a little conversation.
315
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,939
And that was the first time that I learned
what happened that summer.
316
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,609
Oh, I'm sorry.
317
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,821
Right. I guess I'm not the sort of person
that can hear news like that
318
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,157
and just sweep it under the rug
and forget about it.
319
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,701
I know you're upset,
320
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:56,622
but if it's any consolation,
in time, your father and I forgave them.
321
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,832
Forgave them?
322
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,128
Frasier, your mother was a good person.
323
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,338
So was my husband.
324
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,924
They made a mistake.
325
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,928
Anyway,
just tell your father I stopped by.
326
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,515
I felt so silly crying in front of him
the other night.
327
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:19,395
I've been a little over-emotional
since Dan died.
328
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,190
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
329
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:26,152
Well, you never realize
how hard that's gonna hit you.
330
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,739
But look who I'm telling this to.
331
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:34,327
The famous radio psychiatrist,
Dr. Frasier Crane. [chuckles]
332
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,539
I remember you
when you used to run around in your undies
333
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,416
with your pail and shovel.
334
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,795
Yes, well,
I rarely get to the shore anymore.
335
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,800
Well, goodbye, Frasier.
336
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,302
Goodbye.
337
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,645
[Martin groaning]
338
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,979
[Daphne] Working down on the docks
339
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,607
has always been a tradition for us Moons.
340
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:07,818
Me father worked on the docks
and me grandfather before him.
341
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,195
All me brothers do.
342
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,614
Well, except for me brother Billy.
343
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,951
He came home one day
and announced he hated the smell of fish
344
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,912
and was going
to teach ballroom dancing.
345
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,330
And he did.
346
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:20,873
And he does.
347
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,376
He's me mom's favorite.
348
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,671
Dad mostly flicks the crust off
his kidney pie at him.
349
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:30,508
- How much longer do I have to do this?
- Be patient.
350
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:33,427
You don't want to go through life
dragging your leg behind you
351
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,221
like a dead tree branch.
352
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,182
I was talking about listening
to your family's history.
353
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,602
Now, I know you don't mean that.
354
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,772
Why would a man of your intelligence
say a thing like that
355
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:49,402
when you're in the position you're in
and I'm in the position I'm in?
356
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,028
All right. All right.
357
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:52,780
Up you come.
358
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,909
[Martin groaning]
359
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,329
- That's much better.
- [grunts]
360
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,290
I'll go run your bath.
361
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,089
Hi, Dad.
362
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,841
- [grunts]
- You look kind of tired.
363
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:15,052
Yeah, I just finished my exercises
with Nurse Ratched.
364
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,765
Listen, Dad, do you have
to watch the TV right now?
365
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,392
Yeah, my program's on.
366
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,812
Well, you know, if either of us could
work the VCR, we'd tape it.
367
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:29,233
But, just for now, there's something
I'd like to talk to you about.
368
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,360
Oh, for God's sake, Frasier,
I know what this is.
369
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,112
I've already told you everything
I'm going to.
370
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,238
Now drop it.
371
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,240
[chair whirring]
372
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:41,787
Dad.
373
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,791
- Why didn't you tell me the truth?
- I did.
374
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,210
Marion Lawlor came by today.
375
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,213
She wanted to apologize
for the other night.
376
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,634
While she was here,
she told me what really happened.
377
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,262
So now you know.
378
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,264
You did your little digging
379
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,099
and you stuck your nose in
where it didn't belong.
380
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,142
Are you happy now?
381
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,102
Why didn't you tell me it was Mom?
382
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,605
Because it was none of your damn business,
and it still isn't.
383
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,690
Look, Dad, I don't blame you
for being defensive.
384
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,776
But I had a right to know.
385
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,487
And for your information, this sort
of thing happens to a lot of people.
386
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,365
And if it's any consolation,
I know exactly how you feel.
387
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,242
I never told you this, but, um...
388
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,079
Lilith did the same thing to me.
389
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,373
Lilith had an affair?
390
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,585
It was the most painful and humiliating
experience of my entire life.
391
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,461
Well...
392
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,672
I'm sure you felt the same way.
393
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,132
I hadn't thought about it
for quite some time,
394
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,717
but thanks for reminding me.
395
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,471
Lilith?
396
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,683
I found her attractive.
397
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,686
Is it so inconceivable that another man
might find her attractive as well?
398
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,646
I guess.
399
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,984
- So who's the bozo in your case?
- Oh, God.
400
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,698
A Frenchman who lived in a self-contained
underground eco pod.
401
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:03,077
That still sounds better than a urologist
with a bad comb-over.
402
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,250
I'm sorry, Dad.
403
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,420
Look, son, do me a favor.
404
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,756
Don't hate your mother for this.
405
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,845
I wasn't the easiest person
to live with back then.
406
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,013
And she had plenty of reason
for doing what she did.
407
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,268
Luckily, we were able to put it behind us,
but I'll tell you...
408
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,731
There were times
when it really tore me up.
409
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,068
I loved your mother.
410
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,405
So did I.
411
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:42,825
I know, son.
412
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,746
That's why I said I was the one
who had the affair.
413
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,123
I was just trying to protect her.
414
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,377
Hey, me, you already had problems with.
415
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,254
[both chuckle]
416
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,506
Well, Dad, I, I appreciate what you did,
417
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,300
but I still think you should have told me.
418
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:04,722
Listen, when Frederick grows up,
will you tell him what Lilith did to you?
419
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,853
Okay.
420
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,063
Can I watch my program now?
421
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,732
Oh, no, just one second.
422
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,068
There is one thing I've gotta clear up.
This photo album in here.
423
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:22,406
There's all these pictures, with the same
woman that's been cut out of them.
424
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,365
You see this?
425
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,618
Yeah. What else do you notice, Sherlock?
426
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,495
Like, where's your mother?
427
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,874
- Oh. Oh, that was Mom.
- Yes.
428
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,292
She cut herself out of it.
429
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,711
She put a few pounds on that summer.
430
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,714
And I think that day she was wearing
a brown dress with a belt.
431
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:41,884
And your Aunt Vivian told her she looked
like a knockwurst tied in the middle.
432
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,763
You know, Dad, ever since you moved in,
433
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,307
we've been trying to find something
that we have in common.
434
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,559
I think we finally found it.
435
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,435
Yeah.
436
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,396
Wish it was a birthmark.
437
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,273
So do I.
438
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,195
[sighs]
439
00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:03,948
[music playing on TV]
440
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:15,042
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
441
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,168
♪ Mercy ♪
442
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,463
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
443
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,757
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
444
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,926
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
445
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,594
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
446
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:29,098
♪ With those tossed salads
And scrambled eggs ♪
447
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,601
♪ They're callin' again ♪
448
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:36,522
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
449
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,107
What is a boy to do?
450
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,694
Thank you!