1
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,344
Danielle, you're gonna have
to slow down a bit.
2
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,513
I'm having a hard time understanding you.
3
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,097
I'm sorry.
4
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,434
I'm having a big, big problem
with my monthieur.
5
00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,480
- Excuse me, with your what?
- My monthieur.
6
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:26,859
- Your monthieur?
- Oui. My monthieur. Every day.
7
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,320
- Is that your mother?
- No, my monthieur.
8
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,405
Your masseur? Your Mercedes?
9
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,534
monthieur! My monthieur! You must help me.
10
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,786
Well, Danielle, I... I, uh...
11
00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:42,668
The best advice I can give you is to, um,
either confront your "monthieur"
12
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:47,130
or work on your self-esteem.
Thank you for your call.
13
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:51,467
This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying go out
and have a good evening, Seattle.
14
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,594
You deserve it.
15
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,306
Roz, aren't you screening these calls?
16
00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:00,435
Yeah, but when you only have one,
you get a little less particular.
17
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:05,189
- Oh, you look nice.
- Yeah? Well, I've got a date tonight.
18
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,274
Oh, great.
19
00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:10,152
Oh, why are you wearing only one heel?
Did you break it off?
20
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:12,822
No, I'm dating a sea captain
with a peg leg
21
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:15,033
and this makes it easier
when we dance.
22
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,411
I broke it off in a sidewalk grate.
23
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,954
Okay, so who is this guy?
24
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,455
Another one of those trendy young kids
25
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,624
who's got three earrings and a ponytail,
26
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,167
wearing a T-shirt under his sports coat?
27
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,295
Is he here?
28
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,338
Roz, where do you meet these people?
29
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:33,968
For your information, this guy happens
to be a very successful media consultant.
30
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,469
He graduated from Princeton,
31
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,013
he has a house on Mercer island,
32
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,265
and he owns a 40-foot sailboat.
33
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,268
You met him on a bus, didn't you?
34
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,855
No, actually, we shared a cab.
35
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,816
All right, he was driving it.
36
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,652
- Hello, Frasier.
- Hi, Niles. You remember Roz.
37
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:55,449
- Yes, of course. What brings you here?
- Oh, nothing.
38
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,953
Just passing by
and thought I'd stop in for a career.
39
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:01,788
Oh.
40
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,167
Good luck. Heh.
41
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,836
Sorry I'm late, Frasier,
but the entrance to your parking garage
42
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,713
is blocked by a cab driver
with a ponytail,
43
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,590
scraping gum off his back seat.
44
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,843
Madam, your chariot awaits.
45
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,262
Well, we better get going, Niles.
46
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,348
Oh, actually, bad news
on that score, Frasier.
47
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,225
I'm afraid the lecture's been canceled.
48
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,311
Oh, well, I can't say
I'm really disappointed.
49
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:29,398
I wasn't relishing the idea of three hours
on right-brain, left-brain synergy.
50
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,776
I'll have you know I trimmed
that speech to two and a half hours
51
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,112
and I open with a really funny
Al Gore joke.
52
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,282
There's no use crying over spilled milk.
Now, we've got a free evening.
53
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:42,411
Sounds like the perfect opportunity
for a couple of guys on the loose
54
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,872
to hit a sports bar,
have a couple of brewskis,
55
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,040
maybe take in a game or two.
56
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,418
Right. But what shall we do?
57
00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:53,339
- Dinner?
- Perfect. No place fancy.
58
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,384
I'm sure neither of us wants a heavy meal
with lots of wine and expensive desserts.
59
00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,804
- Oh, it's your turn to pay, isn't it?
- You know me so well.
60
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,647
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
61
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,775
Are you sure it was all right to park
in that lot across the street?
62
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,860
The sign said it was just
for customers of those stores.
63
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,029
- I don't want to get a ticket.
- No, it's fine, Niles.
64
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,323
I mean, I could just nip back
to Crabtree and Evelyn
65
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,075
and buy a bar of lavender soap
just to be safe.
66
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,576
Niles, Niles, sit down.
67
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,704
Lavender soap.
For God's sakes, you're a man.
68
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,455
- You'd look ridiculous.
- May I get you a drink?
69
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,375
Fuzzy Navel,
blended nice and frothy, please.
70
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,838
- And... Martini, Niles?
- No, thanks. I'm driving.
71
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,133
I think I'll buy a bag of potpourri
or a set of hand towels.
72
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,510
Just sit down.
73
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,805
Frasier, unless my eyes deceive me,
74
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,724
that's Dad sitting over there.
75
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:45,808
God, you're right.
76
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:46,809
Gee, that's strange.
77
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:49,103
He said he was going to Duke's
to have a beer with the boys.
78
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,439
- Well, that certainly isn't the boys.
- Oh.
79
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,983
Seems we've caught him
in a clandestine rendezvous.
80
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,070
The slyboots. He had a date
and he didn't want us to know.
81
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,322
Oh, he's looking this way. Turn around.
82
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,286
- What are they doing?
- Well, it's sort of cute.
83
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,079
He's holding her hand.
84
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,457
And... Don't look. Don't look.
85
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,084
I'll tell you when you can look.
86
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,546
Uh, not now. Not now.
87
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,591
Okay, now. No, not now.
88
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,096
Oh, I don't like this one bit.
89
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,556
Why? What're they doing now?
90
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,766
No, nothing. I just realized,
91
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,809
if Dad's eating here,
this can't be a good restaurant.
92
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:29,770
Oh.
93
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,982
Well, I wonder if it's their first date.
94
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:38,068
Well, if it is, they seem to be
having a very good time.
95
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,361
So, what are they doing?
96
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,697
Well, they're leaning in
and talking to each other.
97
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,699
He's smiling at her.
98
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:49,331
She's just collapsed in tears.
She's sobbing uncontrollably.
99
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,833
Oh, yeah.
That's a Crane first date, all right.
100
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,586
Oh, she's coming this way. Hide.
101
00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,508
- Frasier, do you know who that is?
- She did look familiar.
102
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,468
I'd swear that was Marion Lawlor.
103
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,928
Marion Lawlor.
104
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,055
My God, I haven't heard
that name since I was a kid.
105
00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,641
I thought Mom and Dad
had a huge falling out with the Lawlors.
106
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,558
They did. They did.
107
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,811
It was that summer we shared a cabin
with them at the lake.
108
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,480
Well, maybe Dad's getting together
just to patch things up.
109
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,525
Doing his usual bang-up job.
110
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,320
This is really awkward.
We should just get out of here.
111
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,155
No, Niles, if we leave now,
he's sure to spot us.
112
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,576
You know, Niles, maybe
you should have that martini after all.
113
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,036
I can't, Frasier. I'm driving.
114
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,164
Not anymore. They just towed your car.
115
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,595
Eddie, you little hooligan,
get off that couch.
116
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,305
You know you're not supposed to do that.
117
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,225
If Dr. Crane sees you,
he's gonna throw you off the balcony
118
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,810
and I'll be right behind you.
119
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,019
Good boy.
120
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,355
Now, you stay there.
121
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,204
Well, Eddie.
122
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,416
Glad to see my rules about the couch
are finally taking hold.
123
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,213
Good dog.
124
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,634
Dad? Daphne?
125
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,427
Oh, hello, Dr. Crane.
126
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,887
Hello, Daphne. Say, where's Dad?
127
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,181
Mr. Dorsey down on eight invited him over
to watch the ballgame.
128
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,685
Oh, great. He's finally getting to know
some of the neighbors.
129
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,229
What are you staring at?
130
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,356
Have you ever thought
about growing a mustache?
131
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,152
- No, I don't think it would suit me.
- Oh, yes, it does.
132
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,863
- You've never seen me with one.
- Actually, I have.
133
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,742
There's a billboard for your show
down on 16th Street.
134
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,911
Some kids went at you
with a can of spray paint.
135
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,205
- And it looked good?
- Oh, yes.
136
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,040
But a word to the wise.
137
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,708
Take good care of your teeth.
138
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,003
That look is not at all flattering on you.
139
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,299
I'll get it.
140
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,469
Hello, Dr. Crane.
141
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,553
Hello, Daphne.
142
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,804
What brings you here?
143
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,557
A rent-a-car, thanks to my brother.
144
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,310
I assume you're here for a reason.
145
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,227
Ah, yes.
146
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,856
Frasier, last night, when I got home,
147
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:24,444
that strange incident with Dad
and Mrs. Lawlor got me to thinking.
148
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,446
What was it that caused the rift
between our families?
149
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,617
So I dug out my old boyhood journal
and looked up my entries
150
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,120
from our last summer together
at the lake.
151
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,873
According to this,
152
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,166
there was a three-week period
153
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,878
where Mom and Dad had screaming matches
every night after we went to bed.
154
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,129
I don't recall that.
155
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,256
Oh, that's right.
That was the same period
156
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,636
where you insisted on wearing
the wax earplugs and the slumber mask.
157
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,805
Well, I had to,
what with you underneath the covers
158
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,140
with a flashlight
looking at the National Geographics.
159
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,642
I was looking at the maps.
160
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,353
That's what makes it so scary.
161
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,693
- Now, what was your point?
- Well, according to my journal,
162
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,071
something more provocative
happened during that same period.
163
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:09,906
Here.
164
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,242
Read this.
165
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,664
"Though summer at the lake seems
but a vapid, vacuous experience,
166
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,958
it is a necessary tonic
for my troubled youth."
167
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,668
Niles, how old were you
when you wrote this?
168
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,670
Almost 9.
169
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,632
Which explains the redundancy,
"vapid and vacuous."
170
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,509
Yeah.
171
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,095
By 10, my writing
had gotten considerably tighter.
172
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,472
Among other things.
173
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,185
The point is that that same night,
I crept out onto the screen porch,
174
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,480
leaving the lights off
so as not to attract bats and moths.
175
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,818
As I peered out through the darkness,
176
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:52,197
between the trees I saw the figures of Dad
and Mrs. Lawlor in each other's arms.
177
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,366
I think it's pretty clear
what happened, Frasier.
178
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,909
Dad and Mrs. Lawlor had an affair.
179
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,828
Oh, come on, Niles.
180
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,205
Look, I appreciate your attempt
to spice up our family history,
181
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,124
but, really,
we're not a Jackie Collins novel.
182
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,042
It's ridiculous.
183
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,336
Is it? All right.
Allow me to present Exhibit B.
184
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:10,174
This is a photo album Mom prepared
of photos from the same period.
185
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,426
Ooh, I love to see old family photos.
186
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,512
My goodness.
187
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:18,098
What a handsome, sinewy young bloke.
188
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,767
That was our dad.
189
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,519
You two take after your mother, don't you?
190
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,689
- All right, look at this picture.
- Ah. Mm-hm.
191
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,274
And this one here. That's Dad,
192
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,026
but the person next to him
has been cut out.
193
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,277
And if you look at this one,
194
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:34,490
you can still see the edges of a dress
and a handbag and tan sandals.
195
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,533
Here's one whose head
should have been cut out.
196
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:40,204
That scrawny little chap with
the fish-belly complexion and rain hat.
197
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:43,166
I was under doctor's orders
to stay out of direct sunlight.
198
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,920
Look, we don't know for sure that
that was Mrs. Lawlor.
199
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,715
And, besides, even then, it wouldn't prove
that Dad had an affair with her.
200
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:52,966
What are you two talking about?
201
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,136
Niles has this theory that Dad had
an illicit affair when we were youngsters.
202
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,263
Your father? I can't believe that.
203
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,224
- He's not the type.
- Well, that's what I think.
204
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,017
Besides, there's not enough proof.
205
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,937
- Are you saying it's not possible?
- Anything is possible.
206
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,397
- Then why don't you just ask him?
- Right.
207
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,649
"Good evening, Father.
208
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,359
By the way, did you boff
one of the neighbors
209
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,028
while we were roasting marshmallows?"
210
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,159
Ah. Ah. There's one sure way
to get the truth.
211
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,661
We'll call Aunt Vivian.
212
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:21,954
- No.
- Who's Aunt Vivian?
213
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,040
Better known as "The Mouth."
Keeper of the Crane family skeletons.
214
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,084
- No, Niles, we're not calling Aunt Vivian.
- Why?
215
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,086
Afraid you'll find something
you don't want to know?
216
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,714
Yes, that she knows where I live
and that she still drives.
217
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,717
You two are worse
than a couple of old washerwomen
218
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,177
gossiping over the back fence.
219
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,639
I'm telling you, the way to solve this
is to ask your father.
220
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,724
Ask me what?
221
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,018
Your sons here have some cockeyed notion
222
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,981
that you had an affair
with some woman 30 years ago.
223
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,607
What?
224
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,447
Where the hell did that idea come from?
225
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:01,493
Well, last night Frasier saw you
having dinner with Marion Lawlor.
226
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,954
You were with me.
227
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,247
What are you two doing, spying on me?
228
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,000
No, no, Dad. we were just having
dinner together at the same time
229
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,794
when you were supposed to be having
some drinks with your buddies at Duke's.
230
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,754
And that proves
I had an affair 30 years ago?
231
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,215
No, no, but Niles dug out his journal,
232
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:19,803
and then he remembered this time
when he saw you and her hugging
233
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,471
and it was right around the same time
234
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,140
when you and Mom
seemed to be fighting a lot.
235
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,933
Then, suddenly,
you stopped seeing the Lawlors.
236
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,894
I don't believe this. This is stupid.
237
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,645
That's what I told them.
238
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,566
The hens here were even gonna give
some Aunt Vivian person a call.
239
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,738
Uh, Daphne, would you give me a minute
alone with these two?
240
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,615
Of course. I completely understand.
241
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,870
That's right, send the help to her room.
I never get to hear the good stuff anyway.
242
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,417
Don't bother calling Aunt Vivian.
243
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,002
You wanna know the truth?
244
00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:52,921
Fine.
245
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,007
I had an affair.
246
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,386
It happened a long time ago,
and it's not anything I'm proud of.
247
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:04,182
And now that I've answered
all your questions, do me a favor.
248
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,602
This is never to be brought up again.
Understand?
249
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,646
End of discussion.
250
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,403
Well...
251
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,865
It's times like this that most families
252
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,661
pull together
and draw strength from each other.
253
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,747
What shall we do?
254
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,509
Oh, thank you.
255
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,012
Good, you're here.
I came by to see how you're doing.
256
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,055
I only have a few minutes.
257
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:48,142
I start my "Healing with Humor"
support group tonight.
258
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,271
And I still have to pick up my big shoes.
259
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,523
How am I doing?
260
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,692
How are you doing, Niles?
261
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,778
Doesn't it bother you
that your father cheated on my mother?
262
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,283
Frasier, your loyalties
are seeping through.
263
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,743
And I might point out
that I got Mom's small features
264
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,454
while you got Dad's chunky thighs.
265
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,750
The point is that it must have caused Mom
a great deal of pain.
266
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:14,751
Agreed.
267
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:19,006
But they went on,
and they had a very happy life together.
268
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,424
They got over it.
269
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,466
Why can't you?
270
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,844
I know that rationally
I should be able to hand this.
271
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:27,390
I deal with people
who exemplify human frailty every day.
272
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,725
But in this case, it's not people.
273
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,395
It's one of our parents
had an illicit affair.
274
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,274
How could he cheat with Marion knowing
the effect it would have on Mom,
275
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,943
not to mention the repercussions
it would have on you and me later on.
276
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,904
Why don't you just pull up a chair
and join us?
277
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:50,246
I just can't believe that it's...
It's our father.
278
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,666
I never had a great relationship with him,
279
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,378
but if there was one thing I always
respected about him, it was his integrity.
280
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,673
Just thinking about what he did,
it just sickens me.
281
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,970
Frasier, as your brother, as a therapist,
I think you have to let this go.
282
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,638
And a good first step would be
to come with me
283
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,683
to my "Healing with Humor"
support group.
284
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,436
Thank you,
but I think I just need a night to myself.
285
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,482
Well, if you change your mind,
it should be a hoot.
286
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,358
As we speak,
287
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,570
I'm wearing oversized polka dot boxers
and quick-release suspenders.
288
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,464
Well, I see all sorts of things
have been going on behind my back.
289
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,424
Get the...
290
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,809
Frasier?
291
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,310
Yes.
292
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,771
You may not remember me.
293
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,022
Marion Lawlor.
294
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,483
Yes, I remember you.
295
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,402
Is your dad home?
296
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,028
Uh, no, but if you come back later,
297
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,989
you can have the place to yourselves.
298
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,991
No, that's not necessary.
299
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:14,789
I had dinner with him the other night
and I left rather abruptly.
300
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,583
I just wanted to tell him I'm sorry.
301
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,960
Would you please give him my best?
302
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,130
Oh, I think you've already done that.
303
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,676
Did I come at a bad time?
You seem upset about something.
304
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,554
Would you come in for a moment, please?
305
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,183
After you met with Dad the other night,
306
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,810
he and I had a little conversation.
307
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,939
And that was the first time that I learned
what happened that summer.
308
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,608
Oh, I'm sorry.
309
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,820
Right. I guess I'm not the sort of person
that can hear news like that
310
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,157
and just sweep it under the rug
and forget about it.
311
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,701
I know you're upset,
312
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:56,621
but if it's any consolation,
in time, your father and I forgave them.
313
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,832
Forgave them?
314
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,128
Frasier, your mother was a good person.
315
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,338
So was my husband.
316
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,924
They made a mistake.
317
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,927
Anyway,
just tell your father I stopped by.
318
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,514
I felt so silly crying in front of him
the other night.
319
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:19,395
I've been a little over-emotional
since Dan died.
320
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,189
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
321
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:26,152
Well, you never realize
how hard that's gonna hit you.
322
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,738
But look who I'm telling this to.
323
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:34,326
The famous radio psychiatrist,
Dr. Frasier Crane.
324
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,538
I remember you
when you used to run around in your undies
325
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,416
with your pail and shovel.
326
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,795
Yes, well,
I rarely get to the shore anymore.
327
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,800
Well, goodbye, Frasier.
328
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,302
Goodbye.
329
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,978
Working down on the docks
330
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,606
has always been a tradition for us Moons.
331
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:07,817
Me father worked on the docks
and me grandfather before him.
332
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,194
All me brothers do.
333
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,613
Well, except for me brother Billy.
334
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,950
He came home one day
and announced he hated the smell of fish
335
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,912
and was going
to teach ballroom dancing.
336
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,330
And he did.
337
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:20,873
And he does.
338
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,375
He's me mom's favorite.
339
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,671
Dad mostly flicks the crust off
his kidney pie at him.
340
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:30,507
- How much longer do I have to do this?
- Be patient.
341
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:33,426
You don't want to go through life
dragging your leg behind you
342
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,220
like a dead tree branch.
343
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,182
I was talking about listening
to your family's history.
344
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,601
Now, I know you don't mean that.
345
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,771
Why would a man of your intelligence
say a thing like that
346
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:49,401
when you're in the position you're in
and I'm in the position I'm in?
347
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,028
All right. All right.
348
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:52,780
Up you come.
349
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,329
That's much better.
350
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,290
I'll go run your bath.
351
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,088
Hi, Dad.
352
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,840
You look kind of tired.
353
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:15,052
Yeah, I just finished my exercises
with Nurse Ratched.
354
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,764
Listen, Dad, do you have
to watch the TV right now?
355
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,391
Yeah, my program's on.
356
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,811
Well, you know, if either of us could
work the VCR, we'd tape it.
357
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:29,232
But, just for now, there's something
I'd like to talk to you about.
358
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,359
Oh, for God's sake, Frasier,
I know what this is.
359
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,111
I've already told you everything
I'm going to.
360
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,237
Now drop it.
361
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:41,787
Dad.
362
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,791
- Why didn't you tell me the truth?
- I did.
363
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,210
Marion Lawlor came by today.
364
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,213
She wanted to apologize
for the other night.
365
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,634
While she was here,
she told me what really happened.
366
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,262
So now you know.
367
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,263
You did your little digging
368
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,098
and you stuck your nose in
where it didn't belong.
369
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,142
Are you happy now?
370
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,101
Why didn't you tell me it was Mom?
371
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,604
Because it was none of your damn business,
and it still isn't.
372
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,690
Look, Dad, I don't blame you
for being defensive.
373
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,775
But I had a right to know.
374
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,486
And for your information, this sort
of thing happens to a lot of people.
375
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,365
And if it's any consolation,
I know exactly how you feel.
376
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,242
I never told you this, but, um...
377
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,079
Lilith did the same thing to me.
378
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,373
Lilith had an affair?
379
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,584
It was the most painful and humiliating
experience of my entire life.
380
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,461
Well...
381
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,672
I'm sure you felt the same way.
382
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,131
I hadn't thought about it
for quite some time,
383
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,717
but thanks for reminding me.
384
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,471
Lilith?
385
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,682
I found her attractive.
386
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,686
Is it so inconceivable that another man
might find her attractive as well?
387
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,646
I guess.
388
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,984
- So who's the bozo in your case?
- Oh, God.
389
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,698
A Frenchman who lived in a self-contained
underground eco pod.
390
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:03,077
That still sounds better than a urologist
with a bad comb-over.
391
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,250
I'm sorry, Dad.
392
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,420
Look, son, do me a favor.
393
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,756
Don't hate your mother for this.
394
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,844
I wasn't the easiest person
to live with back then.
395
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,013
And she had plenty of reason
for doing what she did.
396
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,268
Luckily, we were able to put it behind us,
but I'll tell you...
397
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,731
There were times
when it really tore me up.
398
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,068
I loved your mother.
399
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,405
So did I.
400
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:42,825
I know, son.
401
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,746
That's why I said I was the one
who had the affair.
402
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,123
I was just trying to protect her.
403
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,376
Hey, me, you already had problems with.
404
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,505
Well, Dad, I, I appreciate what you did,
405
00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,300
but I still think you should have told me.
406
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:04,722
Listen, when Frederick grows up,
will you tell him what Lilith did to you?
407
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,853
Okay.
408
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,062
Can I watch my program now?
409
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,731
Oh, no, just one second.
410
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,067
There is one thing I've gotta clear up.
This photo album in here.
411
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:22,405
There's all these pictures, with the same
woman that's been cut out of them.
412
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,364
You see this?
413
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,617
Yeah. What else do you notice, Sherlock?
414
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,495
Like, where's your mother?
415
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,873
- Oh. Oh, that was Mom.
- Yes.
416
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,291
She cut herself out of it.
417
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,710
She put a few pounds on that summer.
418
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,713
And I think that day she was wearing
a brown dress with a belt.
419
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:41,884
And your Aunt Vivian told her she looked
like a knockwurst tied in the middle.
420
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,762
You know, Dad, ever since you moved in,
421
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,307
we've been trying to find something
that we have in common.
422
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,558
I think we finally found it.
423
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,435
Yeah.
424
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,396
Wish it was a birthmark.
425
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,273
So do I.
426
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:15,041
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
427
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,168
♪ Mercy ♪
428
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,462
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
429
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,756
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
430
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,925
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
431
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,593
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
432
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:29,098
♪ With those tossed salads
And scrambled eggs ♪
433
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,601
♪ They're callin' again ♪
434
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:36,521
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
435
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,107
What is a boy to do?
436
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,694
Thank you!