1 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,344 Danielle, you're gonna have to slow down a bit. 2 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,513 I'm having a hard time understanding you. 3 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,097 I'm sorry. 4 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,434 I'm having a big, big problem with my monthieur. 5 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,480 - Excuse me, with your what? - My monthieur. 6 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:26,859 - Your monthieur? - Oui. My monthieur. Every day. 7 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,320 - Is that your mother? - No, my monthieur. 8 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,405 Your masseur? Your Mercedes? 9 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:34,534 monthieur! My monthieur! You must help me. 10 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,786 Well, Danielle, I... I, uh... 11 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:42,668 The best advice I can give you is to, um, either confront your "monthieur" 12 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:47,130 or work on your self-esteem. Thank you for your call. 13 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:51,467 This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying go out and have a good evening, Seattle. 14 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,594 You deserve it. 15 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,306 Roz, aren't you screening these calls? 16 00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:00,435 Yeah, but when you only have one, you get a little less particular. 17 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:05,189 - Oh, you look nice. - Yeah? Well, I've got a date tonight. 18 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,274 Oh, great. 19 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:10,152 Oh, why are you wearing only one heel? Did you break it off? 20 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:12,822 No, I'm dating a sea captain with a peg leg 21 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:15,033 and this makes it easier when we dance. 22 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,411 I broke it off in a sidewalk grate. 23 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,954 Okay, so who is this guy? 24 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,455 Another one of those trendy young kids 25 00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,624 who's got three earrings and a ponytail, 26 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,167 wearing a T-shirt under his sports coat? 27 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,295 Is he here? 28 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,338 Roz, where do you meet these people? 29 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:33,968 For your information, this guy happens to be a very successful media consultant. 30 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,469 He graduated from Princeton, 31 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,013 he has a house on Mercer island, 32 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,265 and he owns a 40-foot sailboat. 33 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,268 You met him on a bus, didn't you? 34 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,855 No, actually, we shared a cab. 35 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,816 All right, he was driving it. 36 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,652 - Hello, Frasier. - Hi, Niles. You remember Roz. 37 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:55,449 - Yes, of course. What brings you here? - Oh, nothing. 38 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,953 Just passing by and thought I'd stop in for a career. 39 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:01,788 Oh. 40 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,167 Good luck. Heh. 41 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,836 Sorry I'm late, Frasier, but the entrance to your parking garage 42 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,713 is blocked by a cab driver with a ponytail, 43 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,590 scraping gum off his back seat. 44 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,843 Madam, your chariot awaits. 45 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,262 Well, we better get going, Niles. 46 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,348 Oh, actually, bad news on that score, Frasier. 47 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,225 I'm afraid the lecture's been canceled. 48 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,311 Oh, well, I can't say I'm really disappointed. 49 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:29,398 I wasn't relishing the idea of three hours on right-brain, left-brain synergy. 50 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,776 I'll have you know I trimmed that speech to two and a half hours 51 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,112 and I open with a really funny Al Gore joke. 52 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,282 There's no use crying over spilled milk. Now, we've got a free evening. 53 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:42,411 Sounds like the perfect opportunity for a couple of guys on the loose 54 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,872 to hit a sports bar, have a couple of brewskis, 55 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,040 maybe take in a game or two. 56 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,418 Right. But what shall we do? 57 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:53,339 - Dinner? - Perfect. No place fancy. 58 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,384 I'm sure neither of us wants a heavy meal with lots of wine and expensive desserts. 59 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:58,804 - Oh, it's your turn to pay, isn't it? - You know me so well. 60 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,647 - Thank you. - Thank you. 61 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,775 Are you sure it was all right to park in that lot across the street? 62 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,860 The sign said it was just for customers of those stores. 63 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,029 - I don't want to get a ticket. - No, it's fine, Niles. 64 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,323 I mean, I could just nip back to Crabtree and Evelyn 65 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,075 and buy a bar of lavender soap just to be safe. 66 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,576 Niles, Niles, sit down. 67 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,704 Lavender soap. For God's sakes, you're a man. 68 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,455 - You'd look ridiculous. - May I get you a drink? 69 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,375 Fuzzy Navel, blended nice and frothy, please. 70 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,838 - And... Martini, Niles? - No, thanks. I'm driving. 71 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,133 I think I'll buy a bag of potpourri or a set of hand towels. 72 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,510 Just sit down. 73 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,805 Frasier, unless my eyes deceive me, 74 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,724 that's Dad sitting over there. 75 00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:45,808 God, you're right. 76 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:46,809 Gee, that's strange. 77 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:49,103 He said he was going to Duke's to have a beer with the boys. 78 00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,439 - Well, that certainly isn't the boys. - Oh. 79 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,983 Seems we've caught him in a clandestine rendezvous. 80 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,070 The slyboots. He had a date and he didn't want us to know. 81 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,322 Oh, he's looking this way. Turn around. 82 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,286 - What are they doing? - Well, it's sort of cute. 83 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,079 He's holding her hand. 84 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,457 And... Don't look. Don't look. 85 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,084 I'll tell you when you can look. 86 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,546 Uh, not now. Not now. 87 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,591 Okay, now. No, not now. 88 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,096 Oh, I don't like this one bit. 89 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,556 Why? What're they doing now? 90 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:26,766 No, nothing. I just realized, 91 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,809 if Dad's eating here, this can't be a good restaurant. 92 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:29,770 Oh. 93 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,982 Well, I wonder if it's their first date. 94 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:38,068 Well, if it is, they seem to be having a very good time. 95 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,361 So, what are they doing? 96 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,697 Well, they're leaning in and talking to each other. 97 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,699 He's smiling at her. 98 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:49,331 She's just collapsed in tears. She's sobbing uncontrollably. 99 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,833 Oh, yeah. That's a Crane first date, all right. 100 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,586 Oh, she's coming this way. Hide. 101 00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:00,508 - Frasier, do you know who that is? - She did look familiar. 102 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,468 I'd swear that was Marion Lawlor. 103 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,928 Marion Lawlor. 104 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,055 My God, I haven't heard that name since I was a kid. 105 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:08,641 I thought Mom and Dad had a huge falling out with the Lawlors. 106 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,558 They did. They did. 107 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,811 It was that summer we shared a cabin with them at the lake. 108 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,480 Well, maybe Dad's getting together just to patch things up. 109 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,525 Doing his usual bang-up job. 110 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,320 This is really awkward. We should just get out of here. 111 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,155 No, Niles, if we leave now, he's sure to spot us. 112 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,576 You know, Niles, maybe you should have that martini after all. 113 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,036 I can't, Frasier. I'm driving. 114 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,164 Not anymore. They just towed your car. 115 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,595 Eddie, you little hooligan, get off that couch. 116 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:48,305 You know you're not supposed to do that. 117 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,225 If Dr. Crane sees you, he's gonna throw you off the balcony 118 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,810 and I'll be right behind you. 119 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,019 Good boy. 120 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,355 Now, you stay there. 121 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,204 Well, Eddie. 122 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,416 Glad to see my rules about the couch are finally taking hold. 123 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,213 Good dog. 124 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,634 Dad? Daphne? 125 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,427 Oh, hello, Dr. Crane. 126 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,887 Hello, Daphne. Say, where's Dad? 127 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,181 Mr. Dorsey down on eight invited him over to watch the ballgame. 128 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,685 Oh, great. He's finally getting to know some of the neighbors. 129 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,229 What are you staring at? 130 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,356 Have you ever thought about growing a mustache? 131 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:42,152 - No, I don't think it would suit me. - Oh, yes, it does. 132 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,863 - You've never seen me with one. - Actually, I have. 133 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,742 There's a billboard for your show down on 16th Street. 134 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,911 Some kids went at you with a can of spray paint. 135 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,205 - And it looked good? - Oh, yes. 136 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,040 But a word to the wise. 137 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,708 Take good care of your teeth. 138 00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,003 That look is not at all flattering on you. 139 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,299 I'll get it. 140 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,469 Hello, Dr. Crane. 141 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,553 Hello, Daphne. 142 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,804 What brings you here? 143 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,557 A rent-a-car, thanks to my brother. 144 00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:16,310 I assume you're here for a reason. 145 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,227 Ah, yes. 146 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,856 Frasier, last night, when I got home, 147 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:24,444 that strange incident with Dad and Mrs. Lawlor got me to thinking. 148 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,446 What was it that caused the rift between our families? 149 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,617 So I dug out my old boyhood journal and looked up my entries 150 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,120 from our last summer together at the lake. 151 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,873 According to this, 152 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,166 there was a three-week period 153 00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,878 where Mom and Dad had screaming matches every night after we went to bed. 154 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,129 I don't recall that. 155 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,256 Oh, that's right. That was the same period 156 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,636 where you insisted on wearing the wax earplugs and the slumber mask. 157 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,805 Well, I had to, what with you underneath the covers 158 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,140 with a flashlight looking at the National Geographics. 159 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,642 I was looking at the maps. 160 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,353 That's what makes it so scary. 161 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,693 - Now, what was your point? - Well, according to my journal, 162 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,071 something more provocative happened during that same period. 163 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:09,906 Here. 164 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,242 Read this. 165 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,664 "Though summer at the lake seems but a vapid, vacuous experience, 166 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,958 it is a necessary tonic for my troubled youth." 167 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,668 Niles, how old were you when you wrote this? 168 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,670 Almost 9. 169 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,632 Which explains the redundancy, "vapid and vacuous." 170 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,509 Yeah. 171 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,095 By 10, my writing had gotten considerably tighter. 172 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,472 Among other things. 173 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,185 The point is that that same night, I crept out onto the screen porch, 174 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,480 leaving the lights off so as not to attract bats and moths. 175 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,818 As I peered out through the darkness, 176 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:52,197 between the trees I saw the figures of Dad and Mrs. Lawlor in each other's arms. 177 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,366 I think it's pretty clear what happened, Frasier. 178 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,909 Dad and Mrs. Lawlor had an affair. 179 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,828 Oh, come on, Niles. 180 00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:00,205 Look, I appreciate your attempt to spice up our family history, 181 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,124 but, really, we're not a Jackie Collins novel. 182 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,042 It's ridiculous. 183 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,336 Is it? All right. Allow me to present Exhibit B. 184 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:10,174 This is a photo album Mom prepared of photos from the same period. 185 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,426 Ooh, I love to see old family photos. 186 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,512 My goodness. 187 00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:18,098 What a handsome, sinewy young bloke. 188 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,767 That was our dad. 189 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,519 You two take after your mother, don't you? 190 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,689 - All right, look at this picture. - Ah. Mm-hm. 191 00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,274 And this one here. That's Dad, 192 00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,026 but the person next to him has been cut out. 193 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,277 And if you look at this one, 194 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:34,490 you can still see the edges of a dress and a handbag and tan sandals. 195 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,533 Here's one whose head should have been cut out. 196 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:40,204 That scrawny little chap with the fish-belly complexion and rain hat. 197 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:43,166 I was under doctor's orders to stay out of direct sunlight. 198 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,920 Look, we don't know for sure that that was Mrs. Lawlor. 199 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,715 And, besides, even then, it wouldn't prove that Dad had an affair with her. 200 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:52,966 What are you two talking about? 201 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:56,136 Niles has this theory that Dad had an illicit affair when we were youngsters. 202 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,263 Your father? I can't believe that. 203 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,224 - He's not the type. - Well, that's what I think. 204 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,017 Besides, there's not enough proof. 205 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,937 - Are you saying it's not possible? - Anything is possible. 206 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,397 - Then why don't you just ask him? - Right. 207 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,649 "Good evening, Father. 208 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,359 By the way, did you boff one of the neighbors 209 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,028 while we were roasting marshmallows?" 210 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,159 Ah. Ah. There's one sure way to get the truth. 211 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,661 We'll call Aunt Vivian. 212 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:21,954 - No. - Who's Aunt Vivian? 213 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,040 Better known as "The Mouth." Keeper of the Crane family skeletons. 214 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,084 - No, Niles, we're not calling Aunt Vivian. - Why? 215 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,086 Afraid you'll find something you don't want to know? 216 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,714 Yes, that she knows where I live and that she still drives. 217 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,717 You two are worse than a couple of old washerwomen 218 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,177 gossiping over the back fence. 219 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,639 I'm telling you, the way to solve this is to ask your father. 220 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,724 Ask me what? 221 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,018 Your sons here have some cockeyed notion 222 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,981 that you had an affair with some woman 30 years ago. 223 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,607 What? 224 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,447 Where the hell did that idea come from? 225 00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:01,493 Well, last night Frasier saw you having dinner with Marion Lawlor. 226 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,954 You were with me. 227 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,247 What are you two doing, spying on me? 228 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,000 No, no, Dad. we were just having dinner together at the same time 229 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,794 when you were supposed to be having some drinks with your buddies at Duke's. 230 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,754 And that proves I had an affair 30 years ago? 231 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,215 No, no, but Niles dug out his journal, 232 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:19,803 and then he remembered this time when he saw you and her hugging 233 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,471 and it was right around the same time 234 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,140 when you and Mom seemed to be fighting a lot. 235 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,933 Then, suddenly, you stopped seeing the Lawlors. 236 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,894 I don't believe this. This is stupid. 237 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,645 That's what I told them. 238 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,566 The hens here were even gonna give some Aunt Vivian person a call. 239 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,738 Uh, Daphne, would you give me a minute alone with these two? 240 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,615 Of course. I completely understand. 241 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,870 That's right, send the help to her room. I never get to hear the good stuff anyway. 242 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,417 Don't bother calling Aunt Vivian. 243 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,002 You wanna know the truth? 244 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:52,921 Fine. 245 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,007 I had an affair. 246 00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,386 It happened a long time ago, and it's not anything I'm proud of. 247 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:04,182 And now that I've answered all your questions, do me a favor. 248 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,602 This is never to be brought up again. Understand? 249 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,646 End of discussion. 250 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,403 Well... 251 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,865 It's times like this that most families 252 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,661 pull together and draw strength from each other. 253 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,747 What shall we do? 254 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,509 Oh, thank you. 255 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,012 Good, you're here. I came by to see how you're doing. 256 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,055 I only have a few minutes. 257 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:48,142 I start my "Healing with Humor" support group tonight. 258 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,271 And I still have to pick up my big shoes. 259 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,523 How am I doing? 260 00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,692 How are you doing, Niles? 261 00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,778 Doesn't it bother you that your father cheated on my mother? 262 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,283 Frasier, your loyalties are seeping through. 263 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,743 And I might point out that I got Mom's small features 264 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,454 while you got Dad's chunky thighs. 265 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,750 The point is that it must have caused Mom a great deal of pain. 266 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:14,751 Agreed. 267 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:19,006 But they went on, and they had a very happy life together. 268 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,424 They got over it. 269 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,466 Why can't you? 270 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,844 I know that rationally I should be able to hand this. 271 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:27,390 I deal with people who exemplify human frailty every day. 272 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,725 But in this case, it's not people. 273 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,395 It's one of our parents had an illicit affair. 274 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:37,274 How could he cheat with Marion knowing the effect it would have on Mom, 275 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,943 not to mention the repercussions it would have on you and me later on. 276 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,904 Why don't you just pull up a chair and join us? 277 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:50,246 I just can't believe that it's... It's our father. 278 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,666 I never had a great relationship with him, 279 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,378 but if there was one thing I always respected about him, it was his integrity. 280 00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,673 Just thinking about what he did, it just sickens me. 281 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,970 Frasier, as your brother, as a therapist, I think you have to let this go. 282 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,638 And a good first step would be to come with me 283 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,683 to my "Healing with Humor" support group. 284 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,436 Thank you, but I think I just need a night to myself. 285 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:17,482 Well, if you change your mind, it should be a hoot. 286 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,358 As we speak, 287 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,570 I'm wearing oversized polka dot boxers and quick-release suspenders. 288 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,464 Well, I see all sorts of things have been going on behind my back. 289 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,424 Get the... 290 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,809 Frasier? 291 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,310 Yes. 292 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,771 You may not remember me. 293 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:59,022 Marion Lawlor. 294 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,483 Yes, I remember you. 295 00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,402 Is your dad home? 296 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,028 Uh, no, but if you come back later, 297 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,989 you can have the place to yourselves. 298 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,991 No, that's not necessary. 299 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:14,789 I had dinner with him the other night and I left rather abruptly. 300 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,583 I just wanted to tell him I'm sorry. 301 00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,960 Would you please give him my best? 302 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,130 Oh, I think you've already done that. 303 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,676 Did I come at a bad time? You seem upset about something. 304 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,554 Would you come in for a moment, please? 305 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,183 After you met with Dad the other night, 306 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,810 he and I had a little conversation. 307 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,939 And that was the first time that I learned what happened that summer. 308 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,608 Oh, I'm sorry. 309 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,820 Right. I guess I'm not the sort of person that can hear news like that 310 00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,157 and just sweep it under the rug and forget about it. 311 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,701 I know you're upset, 312 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:56,621 but if it's any consolation, in time, your father and I forgave them. 313 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,832 Forgave them? 314 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,128 Frasier, your mother was a good person. 315 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,338 So was my husband. 316 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,924 They made a mistake. 317 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,927 Anyway, just tell your father I stopped by. 318 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:14,514 I felt so silly crying in front of him the other night. 319 00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:19,395 I've been a little over-emotional since Dan died. 320 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,189 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. 321 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:26,152 Well, you never realize how hard that's gonna hit you. 322 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,738 But look who I'm telling this to. 323 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:34,326 The famous radio psychiatrist, Dr. Frasier Crane. 324 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,538 I remember you when you used to run around in your undies 325 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,416 with your pail and shovel. 326 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,795 Yes, well, I rarely get to the shore anymore. 327 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,800 Well, goodbye, Frasier. 328 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,302 Goodbye. 329 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,978 Working down on the docks 330 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,606 has always been a tradition for us Moons. 331 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:07,817 Me father worked on the docks and me grandfather before him. 332 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,194 All me brothers do. 333 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,613 Well, except for me brother Billy. 334 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,950 He came home one day and announced he hated the smell of fish 335 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,912 and was going to teach ballroom dancing. 336 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,330 And he did. 337 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:20,873 And he does. 338 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,375 He's me mom's favorite. 339 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,671 Dad mostly flicks the crust off his kidney pie at him. 340 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:30,507 - How much longer do I have to do this? - Be patient. 341 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:33,426 You don't want to go through life dragging your leg behind you 342 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,220 like a dead tree branch. 343 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,182 I was talking about listening to your family's history. 344 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,601 Now, I know you don't mean that. 345 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,771 Why would a man of your intelligence say a thing like that 346 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:49,401 when you're in the position you're in and I'm in the position I'm in? 347 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,028 All right. All right. 348 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:52,780 Up you come. 349 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,329 That's much better. 350 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,290 I'll go run your bath. 351 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,088 Hi, Dad. 352 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,840 You look kind of tired. 353 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:15,052 Yeah, I just finished my exercises with Nurse Ratched. 354 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,764 Listen, Dad, do you have to watch the TV right now? 355 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,391 Yeah, my program's on. 356 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,811 Well, you know, if either of us could work the VCR, we'd tape it. 357 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:29,232 But, just for now, there's something I'd like to talk to you about. 358 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,359 Oh, for God's sake, Frasier, I know what this is. 359 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,111 I've already told you everything I'm going to. 360 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,237 Now drop it. 361 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:41,787 Dad. 362 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,791 - Why didn't you tell me the truth? - I did. 363 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,210 Marion Lawlor came by today. 364 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,213 She wanted to apologize for the other night. 365 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,634 While she was here, she told me what really happened. 366 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,262 So now you know. 367 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,263 You did your little digging 368 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,098 and you stuck your nose in where it didn't belong. 369 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,142 Are you happy now? 370 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,101 Why didn't you tell me it was Mom? 371 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,604 Because it was none of your damn business, and it still isn't. 372 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,690 Look, Dad, I don't blame you for being defensive. 373 00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,775 But I had a right to know. 374 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,486 And for your information, this sort of thing happens to a lot of people. 375 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,365 And if it's any consolation, I know exactly how you feel. 376 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,242 I never told you this, but, um... 377 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,079 Lilith did the same thing to me. 378 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,373 Lilith had an affair? 379 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,584 It was the most painful and humiliating experience of my entire life. 380 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,461 Well... 381 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,672 I'm sure you felt the same way. 382 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,131 I hadn't thought about it for quite some time, 383 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,717 but thanks for reminding me. 384 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,471 Lilith? 385 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,682 I found her attractive. 386 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:46,686 Is it so inconceivable that another man might find her attractive as well? 387 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,646 I guess. 388 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,984 - So who's the bozo in your case? - Oh, God. 389 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,698 A Frenchman who lived in a self-contained underground eco pod. 390 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:03,077 That still sounds better than a urologist with a bad comb-over. 391 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,250 I'm sorry, Dad. 392 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,420 Look, son, do me a favor. 393 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,756 Don't hate your mother for this. 394 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,844 I wasn't the easiest person to live with back then. 395 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,013 And she had plenty of reason for doing what she did. 396 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,268 Luckily, we were able to put it behind us, but I'll tell you... 397 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,731 There were times when it really tore me up. 398 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,068 I loved your mother. 399 00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,405 So did I. 400 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:42,825 I know, son. 401 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,746 That's why I said I was the one who had the affair. 402 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,123 I was just trying to protect her. 403 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,376 Hey, me, you already had problems with. 404 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,505 Well, Dad, I, I appreciate what you did, 405 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,300 but I still think you should have told me. 406 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:04,722 Listen, when Frederick grows up, will you tell him what Lilith did to you? 407 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:10,853 Okay. 408 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,062 Can I watch my program now? 409 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,731 Oh, no, just one second. 410 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:18,067 There is one thing I've gotta clear up. This photo album in here. 411 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:22,405 There's all these pictures, with the same woman that's been cut out of them. 412 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,364 You see this? 413 00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,617 Yeah. What else do you notice, Sherlock? 414 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,495 Like, where's your mother? 415 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,873 - Oh. Oh, that was Mom. - Yes. 416 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,291 She cut herself out of it. 417 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,710 She put a few pounds on that summer. 418 00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,713 And I think that day she was wearing a brown dress with a belt. 419 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:41,884 And your Aunt Vivian told her she looked like a knockwurst tied in the middle. 420 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,762 You know, Dad, ever since you moved in, 421 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:48,307 we've been trying to find something that we have in common. 422 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,558 I think we finally found it. 423 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,435 Yeah. 424 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,396 Wish it was a birthmark. 425 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,273 So do I. 426 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:15,041 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 427 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:16,168 ♪ Mercy ♪ 428 00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,462 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 429 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,756 ♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 430 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,925 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 431 00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,593 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 432 00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:29,098 ♪ With those tossed salads And scrambled eggs ♪ 433 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,601 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 434 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:36,521 Scrambled eggs all over my face. 435 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,107 What is a boy to do? 436 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,694 Thank you!