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[theme music playing]
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Hello, Doug.
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
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I'm listening.
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[Doug] Yeah, well
it's about my mother.
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She's getting on now and she
doesn't have much of a life.
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And, I mean, she doesn't
want to do anything
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or go anywhere.
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She literally hangs
around the house all day.
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I mean, it's very frustrating.
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- And I think...
- Doug. I'm sorry.
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Can we just go back for a second?
You said your mother
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"literally" hangs around
the house.
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Well, I suppose
it's a pet peeve of mine
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but what you mean to say
is that
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she figuratively
hangs around the house.
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To "literally" hang around
the house,
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she'd have to be a bat
or a spider monkey.
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Now back to your problem.
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Do you mind if we stop
while I tell you my pet peeve?
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Well, not at all.
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I hate it
when intellectual pinheads
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with superiority complexes
nit-pick your grammar
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when you come to them
for help.
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That's what I've got
a problem with!
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[line clicks]
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I think what he means is,
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that is a thing
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with which he has a problem.
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Well, it's time for a station
break and we'll be right back
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after a word
from our friends at
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Pizza-Pizza-Pizza.
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Hey, you want to hear
my pet peeve?
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You're in a department store
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and the clerk is right
in the middle of helping you
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and the phone rings.
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So he starts taking care of them.
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And you're left standing there
going, "Excuse me,
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but all I did was come all
the way down here in person
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while some joker is sitting
at home in his underwear
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getting first-rate service."
Don't you hate that?
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Well, actually, I do
most of my shopping by phone.
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Say, Roz, you know
this conversation with Doug
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has got me thinking about my father.
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He doesn't do much of anything, either.
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He just sits around most
of the time watching TV
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and doing the occasional
crossword puzzle.
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What does your mother do?
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She's the Attorney General
of Wisconsin.
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No, really.
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Really.
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Well, I guess that helps fill her day.
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Yeah, to quote Mom,
"Crime never stops,
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even in the Dairy State."
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Yes, well, I don't think
public office is for Dad
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but, uh, well maybe I could
find him a hobby or something.
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You got any suggestions?
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Well, in her spare time,
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Mom likes to water ski a little.
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She hikes, oil paints.
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Oh! She likes archaeology.
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She's on a dig
in Honduras right now.
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Well, maybe I could get him
a wood-burning set.
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[Frasier] ls Dad still asleep?
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Yes. He's napping with the dog.
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Eddie's little legs are going like mad.
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I think he's dreaming
of chasing rabbits.
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I can't explain your father's twitching.
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I'm just about done with this thing.
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- I think your Dad's going to love it.
- Yeah, me too.
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I was walking through the hobby shop.
I saw this and it was, "Eureka."
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I said to myself,
I actually said, "Eureka."
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Ah, yes.
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There are a million stories
in the naked city.
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Now if we could just find a naked one.
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Dr. Crane.
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You naughty boy.
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- Peeking in on other people's privacy.
- Oh, Daphne, really!
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I mean, if people were so concerned
about their precious privacy,
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would they leave their blinds open
at that certain angle
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where you can see the mirror
over the mantle
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that reflects down the hall
to the waterbed in the back room?
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I think I hear your father coming.
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Stand in front of it.
We'll make this a little surprise.
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Hi, guys.
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- Dad.
- How was your nap?
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Great. But I had the strangest dream.
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I dreamt this beautiful woman
with bad breath was licking my face.
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Hey, where'd you just come from?
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Dad, I've got a surprise for you.
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- Hey, a telescope!
- Isn't that neat?
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That's a beaut! What's the occasion?
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There's no occasion.
I just thought you'd like it.
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Well, that's great!
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Thanks!
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You know I saw in the news
there's a bunch of falcons
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nesting in the eaves
of the Columbia Tower.
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- Maybe I can watch them from here.
- Dad, Dad, forget the falcons.
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You can see everything that's going on
in that apartment building over there.
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Hey, I've locked people up
for that kind of behavior.
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Come on, it's perfectly innocent.
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Just think of it as having
a hundred more channels to watch.
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Just look at them.
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People going about their lives.
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There's an old couple watching the telly.
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Oh, and just next door an attractive young
woman is working at her computer.
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While below her,
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a burly man is using a beach towel
to sop up a large pool of blood.
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- Oh, my gosh!
- What?
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Dad...
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No, that's tomato juice.
You can see the can on the counter.
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You were right about that
woman at the computer, though.
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She's a looker.
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Now you see, there's a voyeur
in all of us.
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Now let's see what else
the Seattle skyline has to offer.
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I say we make a strict rule, though.
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If anybody starts doing anything nasty,
we move on.
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Agreed?
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I said, agreed?
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Yeah, yeah.
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Whoa!
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There's a lady over there with
a telescope. She's looking back at us.
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- What shall we do?
- Hide!
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I knew it! I knew it!
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Every time I do something bad
I get caught!
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Hi!
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How are you doing?
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- What are you doing?
- She's waving at us. I'm waving back.
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- Don't do that!
- Why not?
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Hey, wait, she's writing something down.
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She's holding it up.
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It says, "Hello there, stranger."
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Hey, Daphne, quick.
Get me that pad and pen.
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Wait, wait, wait! What for?
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I'm gonna answer her.
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- Dad!
- Write down, "My name is Martin."
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Dad, Dad, you shouldn't
encourage this person.
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I don't really want people
looking in on our lives.
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I don't think I made my bed today!
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- Is she writing anything else?
- Yes.
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"My name is Irene." Her name's Irene.
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- Her name's Irene.
- Thank you.
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Wait. She's writing something else.
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"Is that Dr. Crane from
the radio hiding near the fireplace?"
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It does not say that!
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[gasps]
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It does say that.
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Hello.
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[Martin] Her oldest son's
an accountant in Portland.
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He was the breech birth, right?
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No. That's the dentist in Boise.
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Oh, right.
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He's the one with the wife that won't
let him visit. I can't stand her.
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Good morning, Dad, Daphne.
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Morning, Irene.
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Listen, Frasier, when you were a kid,
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what was the name of that skin condition
you had on your butt?
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Pityriasis Rose a.
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- How do you spell that?
- Why?
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Irene and I are exchanging
family histories.
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Dad, I really don't think your girlfriend
needs to know about that.
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She's not my girlfriend!
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Oh, come on! You two have been exchanging
notes now for the last three days.
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If you were in the sixth grade
you'd be sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
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- Here, Daphne, let me borrow that pen.
- What are you doing?
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Well, I'm going to help along your little
romance and possibly save a small forest.
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I'm giving her our telephone number.
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No, no, no, no, no, no! Don't do that!
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- Why?
- Well, she'll think I'm being too forward!
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For God's sake, Dad, you met
peeping into her apartment.
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- She's not gonna call.
- You want to bet?
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- Yeah, five bucks.
- Okay.
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[phone ringing]
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- Well, are you going to answer?
- You get it.
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Dad, it's for you.
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Hello.
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No, no, this is Frasier. Hi.
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I'm fine.
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Well, it, uh...
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gets a little flaky
when the weather's dry.
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Tell her I'm not home.
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Oh, Dad, she knows you're home.
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She's looking at you
through the telescope.
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Come on, you're just a little nervous.
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Hello?
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Hi.
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Yeah, it's nice hearing yours.
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Can you hold on a minute?
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Would you two get out of here?
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I'm getting a very good feeling
about this.
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Really?
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- You really think he's interested in her?
- Yes. I think so.
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Do you want to hear
something cute, Dr. Crane?
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I made him this rich,
gooey coffee cake this morning
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because you know
what a sweet tooth he has.
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And he wouldn't even take one bite.
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Because, as he put it,
"Women don't like a spare tire on a man."
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[laughs]
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That's so cute.
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Oh, it's funny, you know,
the twists and turns of fate.
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If I had tried to set Dad up with a woman,
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00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,376
he would have rejected
the idea out of hand.
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I go out, get him this telescope for
a hobby and it kindles this romance.
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Kismet.
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Well?
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What?
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- What happened?
- We talked on the phone.
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And? Was she nice?
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Was she interesting?
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What did she say?
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00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,111
She said a lot of stuff.
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So it's safe to assume that you two
will be, uh, seeing each other?
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Well, she wanted to but I said no.
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No? Why?
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She's not my type.
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Whoa! Coffee cake!
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00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,917
Hey, we got any butter around here?
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You know Brewster Kale, the pompous twit
who's the president of my wine club?
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Well, at our meeting the other night,
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I convinced some of
my fellow psychiatrists
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to play a little prank on him.
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When he thought he was tasting
a Chateau Petrus,
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00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:05,021
he was, in fact, sipping a Forcas Dupre.
224
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,858
You see we'd switched the labels.
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00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,612
What scamps you are.
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00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,823
[giggling]
227
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There he was proclaiming
the Petrus to be the superior wine.
228
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,702
And of course none of us
could contain our laughter.
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00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,206
His face must have turned redder
than a Pichon-Longueville.
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Well, of course, as so often happens,
roughhouse turns to tears.
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At the end of the evening,
Brewster tendered his resignation.
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00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,390
That must have put a damper
on the evening.
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00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,225
No, not really. I'm the new president.
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Kudos indeed.
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Oh! Oh! Oh!
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00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,067
Are Dad and his lady friend
still playing telescope footsy?
237
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,444
- What was her name?
- Uh, Irene.
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00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,155
No, they, they've broken it off.
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Already? I thought it was going so well.
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Well, it was.
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And then they spoke once and
then Dad said that she wasn't his type.
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00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,038
So it's over, it's done.
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00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,374
He's completely cut her out of his life.
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00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,960
I just don't understand what
would make him do that.
245
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,087
Oh, who knows why anybody does anything.
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00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,506
Remind me again what you do for a living.
247
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,011
You see the thing is
it was just one phone call.
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00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,096
How can anyone make a sound
judgment about another person
249
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,515
on the basis of one phone call?
250
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,601
Remind me again what it is
you do for a living.
251
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:30,106
Well, anyway, I suppose it
could be any number of reasons,
252
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,817
fear of rejection, shyness--
253
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,528
Or maybe Dad was telling the truth
and she just wasn't his type.
254
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,780
If only we knew someone who was.
255
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,615
I know!
256
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,619
Maris' lovely Aunt Patrice is in town
visiting from Washington D.C.
257
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,536
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
258
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,496
- Maybe we should set Dad up with her.
- No.
259
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,498
No, Niles, I've met Aunt Patrice.
260
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:48,708
The woman is a loon.
261
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,336
Frasier, do this for me.
262
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,255
Every time Aunt Patrice comes to visit,
Maris makes all these plans,
263
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,299
then she dives under the duvet
with a two-week migraine
264
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,427
and I'm left holding the bag,
literally and figuratively.
265
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:05,683
You know, I don't think so, Niles.
I know Dad. Don't meddle.
266
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:06,517
All right.
267
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,270
The least you could do is say
hello to Aunt Patrice.
268
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,605
I'm not driving out to your house.
269
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,607
You don't have to.
She's sitting out in the car.
270
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,069
You left her in the car?
271
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,987
- I cracked open a window.
- Well, then she's fine.
272
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,993
No, no, no. Calm down, son.
273
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,495
Just, no, listen to Daddy.
274
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,789
It's just a bad dream.
275
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,415
I promise you.
276
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,668
Senator Thurmond is not in your closet.
277
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,047
That's a good boy.
278
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,173
All right.
279
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,092
Okay. Yes, you go back to bed now.
280
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,718
Yeah, I love you, too.
281
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,720
Listen, I'll see you next weekend.
282
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,472
Okay. Bye, bye.
283
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,891
How's Freddy?
284
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,434
Oh, Frederick is fine.
285
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:52,272
Oh, he sends his love. Says to thank you
for the toy gun you gave him.
286
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,816
At least what he can remember of it
before Lilith smashed it to bits
287
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:56,025
with a croquet mallet.
288
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:59,904
Oh, it's such a beautiful night.
289
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,323
The city is lit up like a jewel.
290
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,491
Oh, look!
291
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:04,701
There's Irene.
292
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:08,121
She's sitting in her window
wearing a stunning green dress.
293
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:11,916
But her face, it's so sad.
294
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:18,047
Oh! Oh. She's holding a note.
295
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:22,093
It says, "Martin,
was it something I wrote?"
296
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,179
Will you cut it out?
297
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,223
Irene is not sitting in her window.
298
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,725
Oh, all right, Dad! No, she isn't.
299
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,269
But she might as well be.
That's got to be what she's thinking!
300
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,228
[doorbell rings]
301
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,105
You ever met a woman
then decide she's not the one?
302
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,524
Yes! Five years after I married her.
303
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,444
Hello there, Frasier.
304
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:42,697
Niles, I was specifically
not expecting you.
305
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,367
Frasier, you remember Aunt Patrice?
306
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,661
Well, of course. Of course.
Aunt Patrice, yes.
307
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,455
I don't recall really when we met,
308
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,499
but, um, I believe there was
a lot of laughing and dancing.
309
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,792
My husband's funeral.
310
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,170
Yes. Of course.
311
00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,214
Well, of course, the laughter
was, you know, to hide our tears.
312
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,425
- Yes. Thank you.
- Let me take your wrap.
313
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,427
We were taking a drive and I thought,
314
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,555
"My, we're just a couple of short
ferry rides from Frasier's." So...
315
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:11,684
we decided to pop over.
316
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,977
[Patrice] Niles!
317
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,105
Is this the charming gentleman
you were telling me about?
318
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,690
Oh, Patrice, you bloodhound.
319
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,067
You've tree'd another one.
320
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,445
Yes, this is my dad.
321
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,280
How do you do, Patrice. I'm Martin Crane.
322
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,990
- How do you do?
- This is Daphne Moon.
323
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,825
- How do you do.
- Nice to meet you. Please.
324
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:28,659
Thank you.
325
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,954
- So, what brings you to Seattle?
- Well, I came to see Maris.
326
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,706
But the poor thing's
taken to her bed again.
327
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,958
To this day I have no idea
how tall she is.
328
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,963
Yes, so I've had Patrice all to myself
329
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,007
and we've had a great time, haven't we?
330
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,469
Well, if you call sitting in your waiting
room for four hours reading old magazines
331
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:49,680
a great time, well then, yes,
we had a laugh riot.
332
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,726
Now I know where Maris
gets her sense of humor.
333
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:59,816
Why don't I pop into the kitchen
and get us all some refreshments.
334
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,902
A capital idea.
And why don't Frasier and I join you.
335
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,738
That will give these kids some time
to get to know one another.
336
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,658
Niles, I distinctly told you
not to bring her here.
337
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:12,120
I ran out of ways to entertain her.
We went to the arboretum, a fashion show,
338
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,371
a matinee of La Cage Aux Folies,
339
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,332
we even spat off the top
of the Space Needle. I'm sorry. I cracked!
340
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:23,631
Niles, that woman is certainly
not Dad's type.
341
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,883
You never know when love can
bloom between two people
342
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,594
who seem so different
on the surface, do you, Daphne?
343
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,848
To tell you the truth,
I never thought opposites attract.
344
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,724
Neither do I.
We're alike in so many ways.
345
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:37,520
Oh, come on, Niles. We can't leave Dad
out there alone with her any longer.
346
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,063
I'm sure they're doing just fine.
347
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,982
D-go y-gou sp-geak, "G" sp-geak?
348
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,111
- Oh, Lord, I was afraid of this.
- What?
349
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,905
D-go y-gou sp-geak "G" sp-geak?
350
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,908
Niles, I think she's having
a stroke or something.
351
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,998
- No, no, Dad. It's just "G Speak."
- Come again?
352
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,375
It's something Maris and Patrice
love to trot out at parties.
353
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,501
Yes!
354
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,795
You see you just put a "G"
in every syllable.
355
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,256
So you'd be M-gart-a-gin Cr-gane.
356
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,716
Just, just say it with me.
357
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,926
M-gart-a-gin...
358
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,972
I don't think Dad is interested.
359
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,266
Oh, b-ge a-ga sp-Gort, N-gites.
360
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,560
- What did she say?
- She said, "Be a sport, Niles."
361
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,479
B-ge a-ga sp-Gort, N-gites!
362
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,648
Dad, do you still have your billy club?
363
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,109
It's in my top drawer.
364
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,028
Isn't it a hoot?
365
00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,988
You know, it's all the rage
in Washington.
366
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,115
Well, of course you know
who speaks it all the time?
367
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:33,201
G-George
Sta-geph-a-gan-a-gop-a-gol-a-gis.
368
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,332
I found some pizza rolls
in the back of the freezer
369
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,459
but the expiration date was yesterday.
370
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:42,585
Are we game?
371
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,337
That won't be necessary, Daphne.
372
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,298
We don't want to spoil
our appetites for that dinner
373
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,966
we're about to leave
for in, oh, 20 minutes.
374
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:52,053
Yes! That's right,
the dinner in 20 minutes.
375
00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,972
Oh, Niles! I told you we shouldn't
have just stopped by.
376
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,641
These people have plans.
377
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,558
How I envy them.
378
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,312
It was such a pleasure
meeting you, Martin.
379
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,230
Likewise.
380
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,650
Oh, now, you can do better than that!
381
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,027
[laughing]
382
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,366
I'll look forward to my next trip
to Seattle.
383
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,367
Great.
384
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,245
Oh, if you're ever in
the Washington area, I'm in the b-gook!
385
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,246
Bye, bye.
386
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,251
What the hell was that?
387
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,630
I feel sorry for the poor thing.
388
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,131
I feel sorry for Niles.
389
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,716
That's who I'm talking about.
390
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,472
You know, I saw what you just did.
391
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,015
What did I do?
392
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,351
When Patrice went to hug you,
you moved away.
393
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,894
Wouldn't you?
394
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,396
No, Dad, no.
395
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,147
You moved away from the window.
396
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,066
You didn't want Irene to see you
with another woman.
397
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,694
- You still care about her.
- Oh, go chase yourself.
398
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,779
Dad! You do!
399
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,699
There's something stopping you
from having a relationship
400
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:55,992
with this woman. Now what is it?
401
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,994
Boy, you aren't going to let
go of this thing.
402
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,245
No, I'm not!
403
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:00,913
All right.
404
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:05,167
- Irene's middle name is Rose.
- So?
405
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,294
Rose is a nice name.
406
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,670
Rose was Mother's middle name.
407
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,215
Oh.
408
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:12,967
Yeah.
409
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,553
Oh, Dad.
410
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,599
But you can't feel guilty about that.
411
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:23,352
You know, jeez, Mom's been gone
for six years now.
412
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,689
Your feelings for Irene are totally
separate from your feelings for Mom.
413
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,232
If she were here, if she could tell you,
414
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,234
she would want you
to get on with your life.
415
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,068
Okay.
416
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,071
When I'm ready.
417
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:35,906
Thanks, Frasier.
418
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:40,411
You know, I guess I don't say it
often enough but you're a good kid.
419
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,538
Well, thanks, Dad.
420
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,624
You know, there's something
I don't say often enough...
421
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,626
There's nothing you don't say
often enough.
422
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:49,587
Right, Dad.
423
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,260
I couldn't help but overhear.
424
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,220
That was a very nice thing to say.
425
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,513
Yeah. He's a good kid.
426
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:05,686
The only strange part is, I could have
sworn Irene's middle name was Marie.
427
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,438
No, it isn't.
428
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,399
Well, I can go check.
I still have all our notes in the trash.
429
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:11,651
All right. All right.
430
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,611
I had to tell him something.
431
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,321
We, I don't know why
432
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:19,283
but he just won't believe me when
I tell him that Irene just isn't my type.
433
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,077
You sure she isn't?
434
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:25,665
- Are you gonna get on my back, too?
- No. But I was just wondering
435
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:30,586
if the reason why things didn't work out
between you and Irene was, well...
436
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,338
What?
437
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:36,884
Well, maybe if you just weren't a little
self-conscious about your hip.
438
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,388
That's ridiculous.
439
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:43,224
Well, I'm glad to hear that because
you really don't have anything
440
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:46,769
to be self-conscious about, you know.
With that silvery mane,
441
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,979
twinkling blue eyes and whiskey voice,
442
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,648
you're quite a package.
443
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,486
- Yeah, I'm quite a catch.
- You are.
444
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:59,657
And you know as well as I do
that history is full of sexy limpers.
445
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:04,370
For instance, Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
446
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,497
Of course he didn't limp so much as roll.
447
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,042
Oh, I know, Toulouse Lautrec.
448
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,128
Although, he was rather a little person.
449
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,797
Still, he did do
rather well with the ladies.
450
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,966
Of course, they were all prostitutes.
451
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:21,512
But then he was French
and there's no explaining their taste.
452
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,432
What's your point?
453
00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:25,975
I guess I don't have one.
454
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:28,018
It's just me running on the way I do.
455
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,521
But there is one last little thing.
456
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:34,942
I did notice that every time
you went to the telescope to see Irene,
457
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,444
you hid your cane.
458
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,743
I just put it off to the side
so I wouldn't trip over the damn thing.
459
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,454
I knew there was a good reason.
460
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:49,290
It must feel awful silly
when that cane trips you up.
461
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,006
[Frasier] Dad!
462
00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:58,132
Dad, will you hurry up?
463
00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,550
She's gonna be here any minute!
464
00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:00,634
All right. All right.
465
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,220
Daphne, see if I got this tie on right.
466
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,347
It just needs a minor adjustment.
467
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:07,641
What's all this hair on it?
468
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:10,811
The only way I can get the knot right
is if I tie it on Eddie first.
469
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,943
Boy, it's been a long time
since I've been dating.
470
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,529
Have things changed much
in the last 40 years?
471
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:23,657
Well, the wardrobe's
a little different but, um,
472
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,494
your ultimate goal is still the same.
473
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,165
Dad, I'm glad you changed
your mind about this.
474
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:32,917
Yeah. Me, too.
475
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,919
- Thanks for our little talk.
- Yeah, my pleasure.
476
00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:36,962
Now, let's see here.
477
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,547
- Okay, you've got a hanky in there.
- Yeah.
478
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:39,799
Terrific. All right.
479
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,509
- Have you got your keys?
- Yep.
480
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,552
- Not going to be out too late, are you?
- Frasier!
481
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,179
Dad, I'm just busting your chops here.
482
00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:47,181
[doorbell rings]
483
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,308
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
484
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,644
Will you two relax?
485
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,187
A word to the wise, though,
486
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:56,607
if she asks you up to her place
after dinner, close the drapes.
487
00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:07,326
Hi, Irene.
488
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,163
Nice to finally meet you.
489
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:20,130
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
490
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:23,008
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
491
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,094
♪ Mercy ♪
492
00:22:25,094 --> 00:22:27,346
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
493
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,099
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
494
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,226
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
495
00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:33,894
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
496
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:37,231
♪ With those tossed salads
And scrambled eggs ♪
497
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,817
♪ They're callin' again ♪
498
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,444
♪ Goodnight, everybody ♪