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In the greater Seattle area,
the number is 5-5-5-K-A-C-L.
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00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,267
We've got a number of lines open,
so give us a call.
3
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,393
Who's up next, Roz?
4
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We have Pam on line four.
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00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:23,022
She's having a problem with her family.
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Hello, Pam.
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
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I'm listening.
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Hi. It's my in-laws.
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It's just that, well,
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they drop over all the time
without calling,
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and they expect us to stop
what we're doing and entertain them.
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Well, they're your husband's parents.
What does he suggest?
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The other day, he had us drop to the floor
and stay quiet until they drove away.
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A creative approach,
but hardly a long-term solution.
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I thought about saying something,
but I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings.
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Well, then, you have a choice.
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You risk hurting their feelings,
or you spend the rest of your life
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diving for cover
whenever they happen to drop on by.
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Shh! They're here.
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- Your in-laws?
- Shh. Yes.
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Why don't you
take this opportunity--?
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Oh, for Pete's sake.
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- Why don't you tell them how you feel?
- Okay, I will, next time, I promise.
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Thanks, Dr. Crane.
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Yes. Ah, well, as Pam belly-crawls
across her living room,
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let's take a moment
for this message from Carpet Fresh.
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How's that for a segue?
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I just don't think it's smart
to make rude gestures at other drivers.
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He cut you off!
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it doesn't matter.
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You do not antagonize a man
whose bumper sticker says
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"If you're close enough
to read this, I'll kill you."
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Big talk from a Volvo.
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I see you found yourself a new suit.
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Wait till you see it. It's a beaut.
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Let's have a look.
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I can't let you see it on the hanger.
I'll model it for you.
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What a nice son you are,
buying your father a new suit.
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It didn't quite work out
the way I'd planned, but...
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- Daphne, what are you doing?
- Fluffing your knickers.
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If you don't mind my saying so,
you're losing some of your elasticity.
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I appreciate everything you're doing,
but a man's knickers are certainly...
44
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Oh. Ooh.
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00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:29,900
Oh.
46
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How do you get them so soft?
47
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:35,112
Fabric softener and twice
through the fluff cycle.
48
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Oh, well, keep up the good work.
49
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Hello. Yes. Oh, hi Niles.
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Well, of course you can come by.
Great. I'll see you then.
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00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:51,672
Hi, Niles.
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Good to see you. Thanks for calling first.
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I heard your show today.
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I wouldn't dream
of popping by unannounced.
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Ah.
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I was in the neighborhood,
and I've come to beg a favor.
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My housekeeper, Mary, is a very
big fan of your little radio program.
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- Is she?
- Yes, well, what she lacks in taste
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she makes up for in vigor.
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She'd like an autographed photo.
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Oh, well, it'd be my pleasure.
Daphne, this is my brother, Niles.
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You're Daphne?
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Why, yes, I am.
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Well, when Frasier told me
he'd hired an Englishwoman,
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I pictured someone a little more...
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Not quite so...
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You're Daphne?
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It's nice to meet you.
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00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:39,343
- What a lovely accent. Is that Manchester?
- Yes. How'd you know?
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Oh. I'm quite the Anglophile.
I'm sure Frasier and Dad have told you.
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No. They didn't mention it.
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Oh, you undoubtedly guessed
as much when they said
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- I'd spent a year studying at Cambridge.
- No, they didn't mention that either.
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I guess my father and brother
don't spend a lot of time
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talking about me when I'm not around.
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00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,571
Hmm. I wouldn't say that.
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Niles, here's your picture.
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00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,452
Do you mind?
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"To Mary, here's wishing you
good mental health. Frasier Crane."
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Fits like a glove.
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00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,298
- Hi, Niles.
- Hey, Da--
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Wow.
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How do I look?
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Wow.
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Dr. Crane took your father shopping
to Armani this afternoon.
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You got that at Armani?
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Like I told you, Frasier,
he can't tell the difference.
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Well, we were on our way to Armani
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00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:41,238
when Dad spotted this in the window
of a discount clothing store.
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00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,490
It's sharkskin.
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00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,868
Look at the way it changes color
when I move my arm.
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00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,498
You're going to be the handsomest gent
at your friend's retirement party.
93
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Come on, let's go hang it up
before it gets wrinkled.
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Oh, it's supposed
to resist wrinkles.
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00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:58,465
They had one in the display window
wadded up inside a mayonnaise jar.
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00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,512
Frasier, is he our real father?
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Don't start that again.
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00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,308
We've been having this discussion
since we were children.
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00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,936
But that suit.
100
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:15,564
It's not just the suit.
It's his taste in everything.
101
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,358
Clothing, films, music...
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00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,651
Outside of our last name
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and abnormally well-developed
calf muscles,
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we have nothing in common with the man.
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Well, thank goodness we took after Mom.
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So how come he didn't acquire
any of her sophistication?
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Maybe he was too busy
working his tail off
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so we could have the nicer things.
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You know, maybe it's time
we tried to pay him back in some way,
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expose him to some of the finer things
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so that he'd stop lumbering through life
like some great polyester dinosaur.
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- I don't know. Dad's so set in his ways.
- We all are at some point in our lives.
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Remember when you used
to think the 1812 Overture
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was a great piece of classical music?
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Was I ever that young?
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You know, you and I
have to broaden Dad's horizons.
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00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:07,284
Show him the world
that he's only ready about in TV Guide.
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How about an evening of fine dining?
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Perfect. But where?
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- Le Cigare Volant!
- Le Cigare Volant!
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But can we get in?
I've been trying for months.
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Please. You're forgetting the cachet
my name carries in this town.
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Actually, I'm not. if the maître d'
happens to be a housewife, we're in.
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Niles, you are so mean.
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- I'll just call Information.
- No need. I have it on speed dial.
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Oh.
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Thank you.
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Hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
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Yes, the one on the radio.
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Say, any chance of getting a table
for four on Saturday at, say, 8? Hmm?
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- We're in!
- Yes!
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Niles, can I get you a beer?
Some pork rinds?
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No, thanks.
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00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:06,675
Um, Dad, Niles and I and, uh, Maris
would like you to join us for dinner
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00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:09,762
on Saturday night at Le Cigare Volant.
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00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,555
It's one of the hottest
new restaurants in town.
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- Ah, gee, I don't know.
- Oh, oh, oh. The food is to die for.
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Niles, your country
and your family are to die for.
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Food is to eat.
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I appreciate the offer,
but I wouldn't like it.
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00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,984
Dad, how do you know if you don't try it?
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00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:27,364
Well, I didn't have to get shot in the hip
with a .38 to know I wouldn't like that.
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Yes, but it'll give us a chance to have
an evening all together as a family.
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00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,121
Niles and I
really want to do this for you.
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All right.
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00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,876
Oh, ha, ha!
We're gonna have the best time.
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It'll give me a chance
to wear my new suit again too.
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00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,299
And won't that be nice.
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00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,680
So how do the calls look today?
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00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:56,433
Well, we got a couple of jilted lovers,
a man who's afraid of his car,
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a manic depressive, and three people
who feel their lives are going nowhere.
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- Oh, I love a Monday.
- Mm-hm.
153
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,983
So how was your weekend?
154
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,486
I had the most hellacious date of my life.
155
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,154
First he asked me
to pick him up from work.
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00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,322
Then I stop for gas.
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00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,867
I have to pump it while he sits there
reading the sports section.
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00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:16,996
So I take him back to my place to make him
my famous sweet-and-sour shrimp.
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00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:20,124
I'm in the middle of cooking,
I ask him to hand me the honey.
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00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,668
He gets this freaked-out look on his face
and says he can't,
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because he has a deathly fear
of touching anything sticky.
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00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,301
I told him it was a new jar,
but he didn't want to take any risks.
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00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:35,098
- Roz, where do you meet these people?
- I answered his ad.
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You've got 30 seconds. Get in there.
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00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,270
- Not yet.
- Oh, no.
166
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,522
- Roz, are you ready?
- Don't make me do this.
167
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,775
- Come on. We do this every Monday.
- You do this every Monday. I play along.
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Come on.
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00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,988
Who's got the best talk show in Seattle?
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00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,116
- We do. We do.
- All right!
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00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:06,920
Well!
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00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,839
Aren't you a bobby dazzler.
173
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,468
I'll go out on a limb
and take that as a compliment.
174
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,137
Where are you off to?
175
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,847
I'm going to poker night.
176
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,640
I wouldn't have pegged you
as a card player.
177
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,268
It's mostly social.
178
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,688
- Me and the girls just bumping the gums.
- Ah.
179
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:27,609
No one ever loses
more than 5- or 600 dollars.
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00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,236
- Hi, Niles.
- Hello.
181
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,031
Where's Maris? Are you two
taking separate elevators again?
182
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,867
Oh, no. I'm afraid
Maris is having one of her episodes.
183
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,035
Ah.
184
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,662
In the middle of dressing for the evening,
she suddenly slumped down
185
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,249
on the edge of the bed
in her half slip and sighed.
186
00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,460
I knew then and there
that dinner was not to be.
187
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,461
I'm sorry.
188
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,630
Yes, well, I'll just
have to make the best of it.
189
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,758
Hi-ho, Daphne.
You're looking luminous this evening.
190
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,385
Well, thank you, Dr. Crane.
191
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:56,804
What's in the bag?
192
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,014
Just a little treat I picked up for Dad.
193
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,725
Some Devonshire clotted cream.
194
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,268
- For Dad?
- Mm-hm.
195
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,062
I love Devonshire clotted cream.
196
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,147
Isn't that lucky? You two can share it.
197
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,983
I'll just go pop this in the fridge.
198
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:12,278
- Sherry, Niles?
- Thank you.
199
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,198
I'm having a thought, Frasier.
200
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,576
Since Maris has sadly dropped out
and we do have an extra space,
201
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:22,496
perhaps we should invite Daphne
to join us for the evening.
202
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:27,626
I mean, it is a table for four,
and three is such an awkward number,
203
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:31,464
you know, at a, uh--
At a, uh, dinner.
204
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,424
What are you doing?
205
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,263
Nothing. Nothing.
206
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,932
Oh, for goodness' sake, Frasier.
I'm a happily married man.
207
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,308
Maris means the world to me.
208
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,020
Why, just the other day,
I kissed her for no reason whatsoever.
209
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,316
Well, I'm off to my poker game.
210
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,569
It was nice seeing you again, Dr. Crane.
211
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,279
Oh, wait a minute.
212
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,073
I'm getting something on you.
213
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,536
She's psychic.
We've decided to find it charming.
214
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:11,004
You have occasional bouts of colitis,
don't you?
215
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,798
Yes.
216
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,387
Frasier, she's phenomenal.
217
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,264
It's a gift. Well, cheerio.
218
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,141
Ta-ta.
219
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,226
You never had colitis a day in your life.
220
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,229
I know, but I couldn't bear
to disappoint her.
221
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,066
Okay. I'm ready to go.
222
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:36,528
Uh, Dad, uh,
what's happened to your suit?
223
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,696
It's at the cleaners.
224
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,366
I got some creamed chicken on it
at Phil's retirement dinner last night.
225
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,869
You can't keep anything nice.
226
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,788
Well, I'm sure Le Cigare Volant
has a dress code.
227
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,791
Niles, may I borrow your phone?
228
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,460
Thank you so much.
229
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,461
Where's Maris?
230
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,671
- Episode.
- Oh.
231
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,009
Yes, hello. This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
I have a reservation tonight,
232
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:02,931
and I'm calling to inquire
about your minimum dress code.
233
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,643
Crane.
234
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,062
Frasier. Doctor.
235
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,231
What do you--?
We've had the reservation for over a week.
236
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,525
- They've lost our reservation.
- Give me that.
237
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,568
This is Dr. Niles Crane.
238
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,612
I've never been treated so shabbily
in my entire life.
239
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,156
I've a good mind to come over there
and create an embarrassing scene.
240
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,576
- Niles, they've already hung up.
- Oh, thank God.
241
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,665
Well, what now, Frasier?
242
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,127
It's Saturday night, quarter to 8.
We're not going to get in anywhere.
243
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,004
Hey, I know.
244
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,882
Why don't I take us all
to the Timber Mill?
245
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,467
- The Timber Mill?
- Oh, it's great.
246
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:42,720
You can get a steak this thick for 8.95.
247
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,974
Honestly, Dad, that doesn't sound
like the kind of restaurant we'd like.
248
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,643
Well, I was willing to go to your place.
249
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,521
Dad, I think we'd better
just take a rain check.
250
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,358
Ah, gee. I was looking forward
to spending an evening with you boys.
251
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,026
Well, we can do it some other time.
252
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,197
I'm sure Daphne's got something
in the fridge I can heat up.
253
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:11,164
You know, on second thought,
I'm really in the mood for a good steak.
254
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,166
What?
255
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:16,461
The point of the whole thing
is not exactly where we have dinner
256
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,840
but that the three of us have
an evening together as a family, right?
257
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,008
You won't be sorry.
258
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,218
They got five different toppings
for your baked potato.
259
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,555
- Oh, did you hear that, Niles?
- I'm sold.
260
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,849
We'll bring you a bone, Eddie.
261
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,184
He's ecstatic.
262
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,026
Quite a place, huh?
263
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,902
Used to be a real working sawmill.
264
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,488
Until somebody stated the obvious
and said,
265
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,950
"Hey, let's turn this place
into a restaurant."
266
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,037
I just walk in here
and my mouth starts watering.
267
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:52,539
There's nothing like the smell
of charbroiled meat.
268
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:56,460
This aroma is triggering a sense memory
of something familiar yet...
269
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,211
Oh. Of course.
270
00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,964
It's Maris in her home tanning bed.
271
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,886
Hi. Welcome to the Timber Mill.
272
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,472
You don't have a table for three, do you?
273
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,932
Sure, right this way.
274
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,186
Is this your first visit
to the Timber Mill?
275
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,147
- Yes.
- Well, we've got a dress code.
276
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,857
Couldn't you make an exception?
277
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,486
- His suit was at the cleaners.
- Not him. You.
278
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,738
Timber!
279
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,825
My tie!
280
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,912
- She cut off my tie!
- Gotcha! isn't that great?
281
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:35,082
- Why did she cut off my tie?
- They've been doing it for years.
282
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,708
They like to keep the place casual.
283
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,879
- You could have mentioned that to us.
- What, and spoil the fun?
284
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,589
Ah, cheer up.
285
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,133
- You get a free dessert.
- Oh, boy.
286
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,469
Well, I guess you're right, Dad.
287
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,137
It is just a tie.
288
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,473
A Hugo Boss tie.
289
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,811
Hi. Can I get you guys
something from the bar?
290
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:56,979
Oh, dear God, yes.
291
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:03,402
I'll have a Stoli Gibson on the rocks
with three pearl onions.
292
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,986
If you bring him two,
293
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,656
if you bring him four, he'll send it back.
294
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:08,950
- And for you?
- The same.
295
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,245
I'll have a Ballantine.
296
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:17,666
Well, say, a funny thing
happened the other day.
297
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,085
One of my patients had
a rather amusing Freudian slip.
298
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,255
He was having dinner with his wife,
and he meant to say, "Pass the salt,"
299
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,174
but instead he said, "You've ruined
my life, you bloodsucking shrew."
300
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,724
Bet she didn't like that.
301
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,770
Uh, no, Dad, she didn't.
302
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,899
Say, how was your buddy's
retirement party last night?
303
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,776
Ah, it was great.
304
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,571
You know, I really miss those guys.
305
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,156
Bad news, though.
306
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:52,159
Remember Mo Hanson?
The desk captain in my old precinct?
307
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,743
Killed in a boating accident.
308
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,914
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, well, at least he went quick.
309
00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:01,502
Hank Krinski, boy,
he had three bypasses before he went.
310
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:07,382
Jimmy Berman had this weird disease.
I went to visit him in the hospital.
311
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,302
By the time he died,
his skin was all yellow.
312
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,679
He wasted away to nothing.
313
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,016
Nice nurse, though.
Betty, I think her name was.
314
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,769
I see we have a couple
of first-timers here.
315
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,354
Let me tell you how it works.
316
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:26,443
Every entrée comes with soup or a trip
to the salad bar, one trip only, please.
317
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:29,613
Also included is
our famous garlic cheese bread.
318
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:32,574
And now if you're ready,
you can claim your steaks.
319
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,742
Claim our steaks?
320
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,454
You get to pick the cut you want
off the Beef Trolley.
321
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,631
How much extra would I have to pay
to get one from the refrigerator?
322
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,800
Would you just pick your steak?
323
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,345
Uh, I'd like a petite fillet mignon,
324
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,639
very lean,
not so lean that it lacks flavor,
325
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,724
but not so fat that it leaves
drippings on the plate,
326
00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:01,102
and I don't want it cooked,
just lightly seared on either side,
327
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:04,147
pink in the middle,
not true pink but not a mauve either,
328
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,399
something in between,
329
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:10,238
bearing in mind the slightest error
either way and it's ruined.
330
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:11,781
Okay.
331
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:17,161
How about you?
332
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,831
Could I see the other side of that one?
333
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,586
Just bring us those three,
medium rare, all the fixings.
334
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,798
Hey, come on!
There's a lull at the salad bar!
335
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,890
Isn't this great? They have the best
Thousand island dressing in town.
336
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,185
I know, Dad.
I saw the plaque by the cash register.
337
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:44,980
Here we go.
Three Paul Bunyans, medium rare.
338
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,523
We've barely touched our salads.
339
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,149
- Great service, huh?
- Yes.
340
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,485
With any luck, we should be
completing our dining experience
341
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,153
in less than 20 minutes.
342
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,614
If you're not ready,
I could put this under the heat lamp.
343
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,741
No, that won't be necessary, young lady.
344
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,493
I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
345
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,454
All right. Let me know
if I can get you anything else.
346
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:02,707
Yes, thank you.
347
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,417
I don't mind you guys
being tough on this place,
348
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,919
but you could be
a little nicer to the waitress.
349
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,129
You're right.
350
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,423
I'll apologize when she comes
with the dessert,
351
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,925
which should be anytime now.
352
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,848
Sometimes there's nothing
like a good steak.
353
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,892
I wish this was one of those times.
354
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,228
What's wrong?
355
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:28,189
- Well, I don't mean to complain, but--
- Well, then don't.
356
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:32,110
For your information, these steaks
come from prize beef raised on--
357
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,362
What the hell are you doing?
358
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,698
Something seems to have fallen
in my potato.
359
00:18:36,699 --> 00:18:38,325
Those are bacon bits.
360
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,743
But I didn't ask for them.
361
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:42,162
I ordered all the fixings.
You got all the fixings.
362
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:43,955
But I don't eat bacon
because of the nitrates.
363
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,541
No problem. They're artificial.
They're made out of soy.
364
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,211
They really look out
for your health here, don't they?
365
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,049
Everybody in this restaurant's
enjoying the dinner.
366
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,801
Can't you guys do the same?
367
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,767
- Niles.
- Mm-hm?
368
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,603
Is Maris organizing the...
369
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,773
arts-council benefit again this year?
370
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,275
Matter of fact, she is.
371
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,611
- Where are they holding it?
- They haven't picked a spot yet.
372
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,781
Perhaps I should tell them
about this place.
373
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,454
I'd like to be a fly
on the wall that night.
374
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,915
You wouldn't be the only one.
375
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,543
All right, that's it.
376
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,462
I had enough of you two jackasses.
377
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,923
I've spent the whole night
listening to you making cracks
378
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,007
about the food and the help.
379
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,135
Well, I got news for you.
People like this place.
380
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,762
I like this place.
381
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:43,265
And when you insult this restaurant,
you insult me.
382
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,643
You know, I used to think
you two took after your mother,
383
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,229
liking the ballet and all that.
384
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,022
But your mother liked
a good ball game too.
385
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,566
She even had a hot dog once in a while.
386
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,610
She may have had fancy tastes,
but she had too much class
387
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,405
to ever make me
or anybody else feel second-rate.
388
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,158
If she saw the way
you two behaved tonight, she'd be ashamed.
389
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:02,827
I know I am.
390
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,120
Dad, wait.
391
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,955
No. I'm going over
to Duke's for a nightcap.
392
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,290
- At least let us take you there.
- I'll take a cab.
393
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:13,086
I've had enough of you two for one night.
Leave the waitress a good tip.
394
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,296
She deserves it.
395
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,091
Niles, say something.
396
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:18,759
Dad, wait.
397
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,679
The mudpie is coming!
398
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,774
"The mudpie is coming."
399
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:42,116
- I feel terrible.
- So do I.
400
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,034
You know, the sad thing is
he's right about us.
401
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,619
Have we really become such snobs?
402
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,874
You don't see anybody else
driving their father out to drink, do you?
403
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:03,845
- Niles, we've got to apologize to Dad.
- You're right.
404
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:05,889
We'll give him
a couple hours to cool down.
405
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,766
When he gets home,
we'll settle this thing.
406
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,977
Absolutely. We've been just horrid.
407
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:14,022
Frasier, do you think
we've actually lost the ability
408
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,774
to appreciate the simple things?
409
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,902
Steak, potatoes, fixings?
410
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,364
I'm afraid so.
411
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,075
But, you know,
the thing is, this is good food.
412
00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:30,455
I mean, it's not too fancy,
but it's good, wholesome American fare.
413
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:33,082
You know, Frasier, as a tribute to Dad,
414
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,920
I think we should sit here
until we have cleaned our plates.
415
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,256
Well, I'm game if you are.
416
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:47,223
Going to prove that we are not snobs.
417
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:48,849
Absolutely.
418
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,482
Frasier, look who's here.
419
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:11,080
Eat.
420
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:20,046
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
421
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:23,008
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
422
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:25,009
Quite stylish.
423
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,303
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
424
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:30,014
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
425
00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:33,768
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
426
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:37,439
♪ With those tossed salads
And scrambled eggs ♪
427
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,400
♪ They're callin' again ♪
428
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:43,571
Frasier has left the building.