1
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[theme music playing]
2
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[Frasier yawning]
3
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Oh, good morning, Dr. Crane.
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Not a morning person, are we?
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Well, never you mind, I am.
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Can't be a good health-care provider
if you're not up with the cock.
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I've already taken your father
for his morning constitutional.
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Such a remarkable man.
Thirty years on the police force.
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I can understand
why you'd want him to live here,
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although not many sons would do that.
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Not without getting paid for it.
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Anyway, coffee's made,
and I took the liberty of doing a shop.
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They don't serve much tripe
in Seattle, do they?
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And you are...?
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Daphne. Daphne Moon. I moved in yesterday.
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You hired me to take care of your father.
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Of course. You'll have to forgive me.
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I'm not quite myself
until I've shaved and showered.
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Oh, yes, I completely understand
about one's morning ablutions.
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I, for instance, just can't stand me-self
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before I floss all
that gunk out of me teeth.
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Miss Moon...
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for future reference,
if you could just keep your ablutions
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on a need-to-know basis.
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Thank you.
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Now, my coffee.
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The half-and-half's curdled
and the garbage disposal's jammed.
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Oh, good morning to you, too, Dad.
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Morning was two hours ago.
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And close that barn door,
we got a lady in the house now.
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Hey, this isn't my coffee.
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Where's my finely ground
Kenya blend from Starbucks?
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That's it. Daphne put an eggshell
and some allspice in it.
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Didn't that just dress it up.
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I like it. Gives it a zing.
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Now, come on, sit down.
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- Your breakfast is ready.
- Oh, no, Dad, Dad, look,
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all I ever have is a bran muffin
and a touch of yogurt.
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Ah, girly food.
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Besides, I already fixed your breakfast.
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Now, I made you Eggs in a Nest.
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Ah, yes, the Crane family specialty.
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Fried eggs swimming in fat,
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served in a delightfully
hollowed out piece of white bread.
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I can almost hear my left ventricle
slamming shut as I speak.
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You want cheese on that?
47
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No.
48
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I'd like to leave some blood flow
for the clot to go swiftly to my brain.
49
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Can't have my coffee.
Can't have my breakfast.
50
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Oh, dear God, it wasn't a dream.
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I'll get him for this.
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And his little dog too.
53
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Where's my paper?
54
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Who stole my paper?
55
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Mrs. Everly, you old bat, I know it's you!
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[Daphne] Yoo-hoo.
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It's right here.
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We brought it in for you.
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Oh, heh...
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Sorry, sorry.
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Oh, wait a minute. This...
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Where's the rubber band?
This paper has been read.
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Oh, don't worry.
We won't tell you what's in it.
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That is not the point.
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Dad, Dad,
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come and sit down, please, will you?
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You're going to give a speech, aren't you?
68
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Oh, that's right, I forgot.
You're psychic.
69
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Yes, but I think anyone
could feel this one coming on.
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Let us get something clear.
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I am not a morning person.
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I have to ease into my day slowly.
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First, I have my coffee.
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Sans egg shells or anything else
one tends to pick out of the garbage.
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Then I have a low-fat,
high-fiber breakfast.
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Finally I sit down and read a crisp,
new newspaper.
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If I am robbed of the richness
of my morning routine,
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I cannot function.
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My radio show suffers,
and, like ripples in a pond,
80
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,163
so do the many listeners
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00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:09,541
that rely on my advice to help
them through their troubled lives.
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I'm sorry if this may sound priggish,
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but I have grown comfortable
with this part of myself.
84
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It is the magic that is me.
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Get used to it.
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I know this is a stressful time
and this is new for all of us,
87
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but I'm sure that soon we'll all
be getting along swimmingly.
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Ooh, six more weeks of winter, I see.
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Oh, dear God.
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Down, Eddie, down.
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I said, "Down."
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Good boy, Eddie, just get down.
93
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Good, good, good, good, good,
Eddie, get down, please.
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[yelling] Get down!
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[in normal voice]
Dad, Dad, I can't read my paper.
96
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Eddie's staring at me.
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Well, you do make quite
a picture in the morning.
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Just ignore him.
99
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- I'm trying to.
- I'm talking to the dog.
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Don't even think about it!
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You're listening to Dr. Frasier Crane.
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Our topic today is intrusion.
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Those who encroach on
our sense of personal space.
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The neighbor who plays
the stereo too loud.
105
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,622
The person who sits next
to you in a movie theater
106
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when there are 50 other vacant seats.
107
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Now let's return to our calls
108
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and let me remind you once more
that our topic today is intrusion,
109
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since so many of you
seem to be forgetting that.
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Dr. Crane, we have Leonard
from Everett on line two.
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Hello, Leonard. I'm listening.
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[Leonard] Oh, hi, Dr. Crane.
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I'm a little nervous,
but, well, here goes.
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Um, several years ago
I became afraid of large open spaces.
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Like, if I went to the mall,
I'd break out in a cold sweat.
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I'd get so scared
that I'd have to run home.
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Yes, Leonard,
and your comments on intrusion.
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Nothing. It's just that now
I'm afraid to go outside at all.
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And I haven't seen another person
in eight months.
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Well, Leonard, it sounds like you
may have a very serious condition
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known as agoraphobia.
122
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But you are not alone.
123
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But I am alone, Dr. Crane.
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Listen, Leonard, I'm afraid
your problem is too difficult
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to deal with in the time
we have remaining,
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so if you'll just stay on the line,
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someone will give you the name
of a qualified therapist.
128
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Well, that's all the time
we have for today.
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You've been listening
to Dr. Frasier Crane,
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KACL 780.
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Stay tuned for the news. Then next up,
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Bob "Bulldog" Brisco
and the Gonzo Sports Show.
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I never miss it.
134
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Yeah, right.
135
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You want your messages?
136
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Oh, listen, Roz, just hang on to them.
I think I'll stay in here for a while.
137
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Today more than most I feel
an overwhelming need for solitude.
138
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I've got a fascinating book here,
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a comfortable chair
and a soundproof booth.
140
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Hi, doc. How're they hanging?
141
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Bulldog! What're you doing here?
142
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We lost transmitter
link power in Studio C.
143
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I gotta do my show from here.
144
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[bangs gong, then blows whistle]
145
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Hey, where the hell's my Cosell tape?
146
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[yelling] Somebody stole my Cosell tape!
This stinks! This is total B.S.!
147
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[in normal voice] Oh, here it is.
148
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I'll just get out of your way.
149
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,840
Oh, by the way, doc, doc,
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I heard what you said to that kid who
fantasizes about killing his parents.
151
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You know what I would've told him?
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Sports.
153
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You go out there, break some heads.
154
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That'll turn him around.
155
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Yes, if only Jeffrey Dahmer
had picked up a squash racquet.
156
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Hey, where the hell's my Lasorda tape?
157
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[yells] This is total...!
[in normal voice] Oh, got it.
158
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,615
Hold on a second.
I have to ask you something.
159
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Gary! I broke up with him
three weeks ago.
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The sex was okay,
but he was kind of limited...
161
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,460
No, no, no, it wasn't
that Gary was bad in bed.
162
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,378
I mean,
he knew where all the parts were.
163
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Unfortunately, most of them were his.
164
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Yes, totally passionless.
165
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It was like he was thinking
of someone else.
166
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I know I was.
167
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Somebody's here. I gotta go.
168
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,185
All right? I'll talk to you later.
169
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Bye, Mom.
170
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That was your mother?
171
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Yeah, why?
172
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You talk to your mother like that?
173
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,029
Well, we're both adults.
We talk about everything.
174
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,322
Well, isn't that healthy.
175
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,116
What? You don't talk
to your dad like that?
176
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,786
Oh, hardly. We hardly speak at all.
177
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,995
Really?
178
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,373
Well, you know,
we're not really very similar people.
179
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,376
In fact, my brother and I
are a lot more like my mother.
180
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You know,
if it wasn't biologically impossible,
181
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,382
I'd swear that Dad was dropped
in a basket on our doorstep.
182
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,096
Hey, sweet cakes, you seen my engineer?
183
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,139
I think someone's talking to you, Frasier.
184
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,265
Come on, come on, come on!
185
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,143
Yes, he called and he'll be right here.
186
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,437
Wanna go across the street
187
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,731
and have one of those
expensive coffee drinks?
188
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,608
Maybe some other time.
189
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,611
Right now I'd like to continue
my quest for solitude,
190
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,988
to go someplace where my father,
191
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,616
Mary Poppins and the hound from hell
can't find me.
192
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,454
I think maybe I'll just go sit
under the shade of a tree
193
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,540
and read in a quiet park.
194
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,042
[thunder crashing]
195
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,421
Hello!
196
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:35,885
Hello?
197
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,221
Dad?
198
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,348
Daphne?
199
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,101
Eddie?
200
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:47,856
Could it be?
201
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:49,899
Ho, ho, ho...
202
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:55,363
Oh, yes.
203
00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:01,953
[humming]
204
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,844
♪ Don't spit on the floor ♪
205
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:22,307
♪ Use the cuspidora
What do you think it's for-a? ♪
206
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,943
[door unlocks, then opens]
207
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,530
So the elephant says, "He's with me."
208
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,369
Ah, Dr. Crane, you're home.
209
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,206
We just got back
from your father's physical therapy.
210
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,916
Oh, glory be, oh, happy day.
211
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,211
It's not that I'm not delighted
to see the two of you,
212
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,421
it's just that I'm in the middle
of a very exciting chapter.
213
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,131
Oh, I understand.
214
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,593
So why don't I pop into the kitchen
and brew you up a nice pot of tea?
215
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,137
No, I've just poured myself
a glass of wine. Thank you.
216
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,014
I see.
217
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,315
What you reading?
218
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,817
Oh, Dad,
you wouldn't find it very interesting.
219
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,694
I might. Any good?
220
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,696
Well, I haven't formed an opinion yet.
221
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,200
Oddly enough, I'm having
a little trouble getting into it.
222
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,542
Thick.
223
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,131
Dad, really, uh, listen,
I don't want to offend...
224
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,594
if you wouldn't mind, could you just
leave me alone and let me read my book?
225
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,428
No problem.
226
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,899
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving you alone.
227
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,734
- Well, it's very annoying!
- Oh.
228
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,196
What's your problem?
You've been sucking a lemon all week.
229
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,739
I'll tell you what my problem is.
230
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,825
I can't get a moment's peace
alone in my own house!
231
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,368
Well, forgive me!
232
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,744
When you invited me to move in,
233
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:10,039
I didn't realize I had to stay chained
to the radiator in my room.
234
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,292
Perhaps only evenings.
235
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,251
I heard that!
236
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,670
Well, of course you heard it.
You're never out of earshot.
237
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,672
Oh, you know,
you've always been like this.
238
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,758
You were always a fussy little kid
and it's gotten worse ever since.
239
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,593
You and your precious morning routine.
240
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,138
You gotta have your coffee.
You gotta have your quiet.
241
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,223
You gotta have this. You gotta have that.
242
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,017
Well, aren't you a little hothouse orchid?
243
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,101
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
244
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,895
I don't have to sit here
and listen to that.
245
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,690
Ah, if you want everything so perfect,
why don't you go live in a bubble?
246
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,484
Oh, well, all right, right now
it sounds very inviting!
247
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,284
Finally, a little peace
and quiet around here.
248
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,670
Hello there, Frasier.
249
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,048
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
250
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,179
That's a nice way
to greet your brother.
251
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,514
Café latte, per piacere.
252
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,269
I'm sorry, Niles. It's just that
I've been trying to read this book,
253
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,938
and it seems no matter
where I light, I get interrupted.
254
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,566
Oh, The Holotropic Mind
by Stanislav Grof.
255
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:21,110
I love his conclusion that a change
in breathing patterns
256
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,779
can induce alternate
states of consciousness.
257
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,614
Great! Now you've ruined the ending!
258
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,910
I'm sorry. That was inconsiderate.
259
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,245
[speaking Italian]
260
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,752
- [in English] So how's Father?
- Father?
261
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,921
You mean the man
who's driving me crazy?
262
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,173
The man who makes me dread
the sight of my very doorstep?
263
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,008
The man who just drove me
out of my own home?
264
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:44,884
How's work?
265
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,598
Niles, I don't know what I'm going to do.
266
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,351
Dad and I had another fight.
267
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,562
I'm afraid if we stay
under the same roof,
268
00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,483
we'll do irreparable harm
to the relationship we have as it is.
269
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,402
Well, what are the alternatives?
270
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,447
Well, if I didn't feel so guilty,
271
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,450
I'd do what I should
have done in the first place.
272
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,661
Just move Dad and Daphne
into their own apartment.
273
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,288
Oh, for goodness sake, Frasier,
it hasn't been that long.
274
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,748
You have to give it a chance.
275
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,167
And you might remember
why you moved him in in the first place.
276
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,377
Refresh me.
277
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,963
You wanted to get closer to Dad.
278
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,589
I still do.
279
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,092
There isn't anything I'd like more,
but he makes it impossible.
280
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,052
I can't read my book,
I can't have my coffee,
281
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,887
I can't have any peace in my own home.
282
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,056
So what you're saying is
you want to be closer to Dad,
283
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,058
but you don't actually want him around?
284
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:42,692
Ask yourself, Frasier, have you tried
to sit down and talk to him?
285
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,944
I mean, really talk to him?
286
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,155
Well, I...
287
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,617
Maybe I haven't done my best.
288
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,456
I guess I owe that
to the old man, don't I?
289
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,375
Well, uh...
290
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,671
thanks for the chat, Niles,
you're a good brother
291
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,007
and a credit
to the psychiatric profession.
292
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,467
You're a good brother too.
293
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:15,683
[Frasier] Daphne!
294
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,394
What are my things doing here?
295
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,771
My leather wing chair? My Tisami lamp.
296
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,441
We're putting them in
the storage room in the basement.
297
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,986
There was no room for them in
your study once we got my furniture in.
298
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,696
We discussed it last night, remember?
299
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,281
Of course. Of course.
300
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,825
I was just on my way to ask
that peculiar little man
301
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,411
from Building Services
to give me a hand moving them.
302
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,914
Oh, yes, Kyle. Well, give him my regards.
303
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,249
Oh, yeah, remind me again.
304
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,752
Which one of Kyle's eyes
is really looking at me?
305
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,047
The brown one.
306
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,936
Daphne left your dinner
in the fridge if you're hungry.
307
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,354
Well, thanks, but I'm not.
308
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:03,814
Dad.
309
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,444
Listen, I'm sorry about,
uh, the blow-up earlier.
310
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,571
Ah, forget about it. I already have.
311
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:14,492
You know, I guess it's no secret that
there's been a lot of tension between us,
312
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,244
and I think maybe one
of the reasons is
313
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,954
that we never have a chance
to sit and talk.
314
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:18,788
And I...
315
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,624
I thought we might have
a conversation.
316
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,626
Right now?
317
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,254
Yes, I think now would be a good time.
318
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,547
Later would be better.
319
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,883
It doesn't have to be a long
drawn-out conversation.
320
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,219
I'm talking about
three minutes of your life.
321
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,264
I hope it really is only three minutes
'cause my program's coming on.
322
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,181
Well, all right.
323
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,308
If it'll make you any happier,
I'll get the egg timer,
324
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,269
and I will set it for three minutes.
325
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,314
So, what do you wanna talk about?
326
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:49,777
Well, the idea is for us to have
a normal honest conversation
327
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,363
just like two normal people
without getting on each other's nerves.
328
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,534
Ready.
329
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,747
- Go.
- [timer ticking]
330
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,457
- This is stupid.
- [bell rings]
331
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,419
One second. That's our personal best?
332
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,259
Let us see if we can beat it.
333
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,429
Ready.
334
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,347
Go.
335
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,057
[timer ticking]
336
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,352
- So how about those Seahawks?
- [bell rings]
337
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,354
- No sports.
- All right, no opera.
338
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,188
Agreed.
339
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,110
Ready.
340
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,154
Go.
341
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,989
[timer ticking]
342
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,993
This is your idea.
You say something first.
343
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,329
All right, all right.
344
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:44,582
I'll tell you something about myself
that, uh, you don't know.
345
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,044
Uh, six months ago when...
346
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,589
Lilith and I were really on the rocks,
347
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:57,637
there was a time of depression I went
through that was so terrible I actually
348
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,805
climbed out on a ledge and...
349
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,683
wondered if life was worth living.
350
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:04,852
Then I...
351
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,188
I thought of Frederick.
352
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,440
And you didn't jump, huh?
353
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,490
Good, Dad.
354
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,660
Wow, I never knew that.
355
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,120
Well, that's the point
of this whole experiment.
356
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,874
To tell one another something
that we don't know about each other,
357
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,168
something vulnerable. Now it's your turn.
358
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,295
Okay.
359
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,341
Well, about two months ago
360
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,761
I was in the basement going through
some old pictures of your mother and me.
361
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,764
And all of a sudden
something flew up in my eye.
362
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,017
And when I was trying to get it out,
363
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:49,063
I realized that I could turn my eyelid
inside out the way kids do at camp.
364
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,233
That's it?
365
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,193
You call that vulnerable?
366
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,069
- It hurt.
- Well--
367
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,489
I'm not talking about that kind of pain.
368
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:03,536
I'm talking about your emotions,
your soul, some sort of painful,
369
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,870
gut-wrenching experience.
370
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:05,830
Other than this one?
371
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,915
Oh, God, always the flip answer.
372
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,959
Well, this whole thing's stupid.
373
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,293
Well, not to me!
374
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,962
Oh, how should I expect
anything out of you?
375
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,463
You are the most cold,
376
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:19,552
intractable, unapproachable, distant,
stubborn, cold man I've ever known!
377
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,262
You said cold twice, Mr. Egghead.
378
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,388
Egghead? Egghead?
379
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,723
You said "egghead" twice too.
380
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,850
Ooh, you are so infuriating!
381
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,102
You're no day at the beach either.
You know what you are?
382
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,478
- [bell rings]
- I'll tell you later.
383
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,771
It's time for my program.
384
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,822
Dad, I don't think you see
how serious this is.
385
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,490
Oh, will you give it a rest?
386
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:44,577
Look, we're not getting along
and it's not getting any better.
387
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,372
I'm not sure how to say this, but...
388
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,000
I...
389
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,589
- I'm afraid I'm going to have to...
- I know what you're trying to say.
390
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,468
You want what's best for both of us.
You wanna get me out of here.
391
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:03,512
Then you can have your own space
and I'll have my own space,
392
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,681
and we can put an end
to all this bickering.
393
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:07,641
Well, yes.
394
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,436
I guess it wasn't
so hard to say after all.
395
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,645
Except for one thing.
396
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:12,980
I'm not going.
397
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,064
What?
398
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,151
You want us to forge
some great father-son relationship,
399
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:18,819
to make some connection.
400
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,488
That kind of thing
takes a couple of years,
401
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,573
not a couple of days, doesn't it?
402
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:23,824
You're the shrink.
403
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,827
Couple of years, huh?
404
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,788
Ah, it'll go by before you know it.
405
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,249
Either that or it'll seem like eternity.
406
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,009
I'm willing to give it a shot if you are.
407
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,639
- Okay.
- Great.
408
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,599
How about you and me
having a beer together?
409
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:49,934
Wow.
410
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,729
You know, in all these years,
you've never asked me that.
411
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,273
I'd love to have a beer with you, Dad.
412
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:59,276
Well, then you better haul ass
'cause the store closes in ten minutes.
413
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,486
Right.
414
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,035
[theme music playing]
415
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:12,790
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
416
00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:14,959
♪ Mercy ♪
417
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:17,253
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
418
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,922
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
419
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:22,258
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
420
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,759
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
421
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,304
♪ With those tossed salads
And scrambled eggs ♪
422
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:29,682
♪ They're callin' again ♪
423
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,309
♪ Good night! ♪