1
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,891
Oh, good morning, Dr. Crane.
2
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,435
Not a morning person, are we?
3
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,979
Well, never you mind, I am.
4
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:25,651
Can't be a good health-care provider
if you're not up with the cock.
5
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:30,863
I've already taken your father
for his morning constitutional.
6
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:35,117
Such a remarkable man.
Thirty years on the police force.
7
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:38,204
I can understand
why you'd want him to live here,
8
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,331
although not many sons would do that.
9
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,333
Not without getting paid for it.
10
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:46,420
Anyway, coffee's made,
and I took the liberty of doing a shop.
11
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,924
They don't serve much tripe
in Seattle, do they?
12
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,469
And you are...?
13
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:59,350
Daphne. Daphne Moon. I moved in yesterday.
14
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,519
You hired me to take care of your father.
15
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,104
Of course. You'll have to forgive me.
16
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,398
I'm not quite myself
until I've shaved and showered.
17
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:10,486
Oh, yes, I completely understand
about one's morning ablutions.
18
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,905
I, for instance, just can't stand me-self
19
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,574
before I floss all
that gunk out of me teeth.
20
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,409
Miss Moon...
21
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:21,122
for future reference,
if you could just keep your ablutions
22
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,957
on a need-to-know basis.
23
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,500
Thank you.
24
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:25,627
Now, my coffee.
25
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:29,339
The half-and-half's curdled
and the garbage disposal's jammed.
26
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:31,674
Oh, good morning to you, too, Dad.
27
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:33,635
Morning was two hours ago.
28
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,306
And close that barn door,
we got a lady in the house now.
29
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,225
Hey, this isn't my coffee.
30
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:44,145
Where's my finely ground
Kenya blend from Starbucks?
31
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,774
That's it. Daphne put an eggshell
and some allspice in it.
32
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,902
Didn't that just dress it up.
33
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,406
I like it. Gives it a zing.
34
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,491
Now, come on, sit down.
35
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,535
- Your breakfast is ready.
- Oh, no, Dad, Dad, look,
36
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,663
all I ever have is a bran muffin
and a touch of yogurt.
37
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:03,707
Ah, girly food.
38
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,709
Besides, I already fixed your breakfast.
39
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,252
Now, I made you Eggs in a Nest.
40
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,671
Ah, yes, the Crane family specialty.
41
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,049
Fried eggs swimming in fat,
42
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,926
served in a delightfully
hollowed out piece of white bread.
43
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:19,181
I can almost hear my left ventricle
slamming shut as I speak.
44
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,642
You want cheese on that?
45
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,477
No.
46
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:28,357
I'd like to leave some blood flow
for the clot to go swiftly to my brain.
47
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,821
Can't have my coffee.
Can't have my breakfast.
48
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:38,992
Oh, dear God, it wasn't a dream.
49
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,871
I'll get him for this.
50
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,207
And his little dog too.
51
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,588
Where's my paper?
52
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,839
Who stole my paper?
53
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,550
Mrs. Everly, you old bat, I know it's you!
54
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,427
Yoo-hoo.
55
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,303
It's right here.
56
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,930
We brought it in for you.
57
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,765
Oh, heh...
58
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,684
Sorry, sorry.
59
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,813
Oh, wait a minute. This...
60
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,564
Where's the rubber band?
This paper has been read.
61
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:13,193
Oh, don't worry.
We won't tell you what's in it.
62
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,113
That is not the point.
63
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,740
Dad, Dad,
64
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,118
come and sit down, please, will you?
65
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:24,036
You're going to give a speech, aren't you?
66
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,164
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
You're psychic.
67
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,836
Yes, but I think anyone
could feel this one coming on.
68
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,505
Let us get something clear.
69
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,258
I am not a morning person.
70
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,386
I have to ease into my day slowly.
71
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,805
First, I have my coffee.
72
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,976
Sans egg shells or anything else
one tends to pick out of the garbage.
73
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,772
Then I have a low-fat,
high-fiber breakfast.
74
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:55,277
Finally I sit down and read a crisp,
new newspaper.
75
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,239
If I am robbed of the richness
of my morning routine,
76
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:00,824
I cannot function.
77
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,577
My radio show suffers,
and, like ripples in a pond,
78
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,162
so do the many listeners
79
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:09,540
that rely on my advice to help
them through their troubled lives.
80
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,042
I'm sorry if this may sound priggish,
81
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,004
but I have grown comfortable
with this part of myself.
82
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,007
It is the magic that is me.
83
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,262
Get used to it.
84
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:28,601
I know this is a stressful time
and this is new for all of us,
85
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,688
but I'm sure that soon we'll all
be getting along swimmingly.
86
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,315
Ooh, six more weeks of winter, I see.
87
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,484
Oh, dear God.
88
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,006
Down, Eddie, down.
89
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,677
I said, "Down."
90
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,554
Good boy, Eddie, just get down.
91
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,224
Good, good, good, good, good,
Eddie, get down, please.
92
00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,226
Get down!
93
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,562
Dad, Dad, I can't read my paper.
94
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,731
Eddie's staring at me.
95
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,068
Well, you do make quite
a picture in the morning.
96
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:20,820
Just ignore him.
97
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,989
- I'm trying to.
- I'm talking to the dog.
98
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,767
Don't even think about it!
99
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,191
You're listening to Dr. Frasier Crane.
100
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,653
Our topic today is intrusion.
101
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,492
Those who encroach on
our sense of personal space.
102
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,245
The neighbor who plays
the stereo too loud.
103
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,621
The person who sits next
to you in a movie theater
104
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,583
when there are 50 other vacant seats.
105
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,168
Now let's return to our calls
106
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:22,757
and let me remind you once more
that our topic today is intrusion,
107
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,386
since so many of you
seem to be forgetting that.
108
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,515
Dr. Crane, we have Leonard
from Everett on line two.
109
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,351
Hello, Leonard. I'm listening.
110
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,228
Oh, hi, Dr. Crane.
111
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:39,106
I'm a little nervous,
but, well, here goes.
112
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:43,152
Um, several years ago
I became afraid of large open spaces.
113
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,155
Like, if I went to the mall,
I'd break out in a cold sweat.
114
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,449
I'd get so scared
that I'd have to run home.
115
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,660
Yes, Leonard,
and your comments on intrusion.
116
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,832
Nothing. It's just that now
I'm afraid to go outside at all.
117
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,002
And I haven't seen another person
in eight months.
118
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,837
Well, Leonard, it sounds like you
may have a very serious condition
119
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,590
known as agoraphobia.
120
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,425
But you are not alone.
121
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,636
But I am alone, Dr. Crane.
122
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,142
Listen, Leonard, I'm afraid
your problem is too difficult
123
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,894
to deal with in the time
we have remaining,
124
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,312
so if you'll just stay on the line,
125
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,523
someone will give you the name
of a qualified therapist.
126
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,777
Well, that's all the time
we have for today.
127
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,445
You've been listening
to Dr. Frasier Crane,
128
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,906
KACL 780.
129
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,325
Stay tuned for the news. Then next up,
130
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:36,205
Bob "Bulldog" Brisco
and the Gonzo Sports Show.
131
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,332
I never miss it.
132
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:38,875
Yeah, right.
133
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,254
You want your messages?
134
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,758
Oh, listen, Roz, just hang on to them.
I think I'll stay in here for a while.
135
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:51,387
Today more than most I feel
an overwhelming need for solitude.
136
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,972
I've got a fascinating book here,
137
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,850
a comfortable chair
and a soundproof booth.
138
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,523
Hi, doc. How're they hanging?
139
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,692
Bulldog! What're you doing here?
140
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,735
We lost transmitter
link power in Studio C.
141
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,028
I gotta do my show from here.
142
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,828
Hey, where the hell's my Cosell tape?
143
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,707
Somebody stole my Cosell tape!
This stinks! This is total B.S.!
144
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:20,959
Oh, here it is.
145
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,295
I'll just get out of your way.
146
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,839
Oh, by the way, doc, doc,
147
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,969
I heard what you said to that kid who
fantasizes about killing his parents.
148
00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:33,054
You know what I would've told him?
149
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,681
Sports.
150
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,725
You go out there, break some heads.
151
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:38,977
That'll turn him around.
152
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:43,481
Yes, if only Jeffrey Dahmer
had picked up a squash racquet.
153
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,734
Hey, where the hell's my Lasorda tape?
154
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,737
- This is total...!
- Oh, got it.
155
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,615
Hold on a second.
I have to ask you something.
156
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,994
Gary! I broke up with him
three weeks ago.
157
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,789
The sex was okay,
but he was kind of limited...
158
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,459
No, no, no, it wasn't
that Gary was bad in bed.
159
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,377
I mean,
he knew where all the parts were.
160
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,505
Unfortunately, most of them were his.
161
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,674
Yes, totally passionless.
162
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,135
It was like he was thinking
of someone else.
163
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,596
I know I was.
164
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,474
Somebody's here. I gotta go.
165
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,184
All right? I'll talk to you later.
166
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,019
Bye, Mom.
167
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,272
That was your mother?
168
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,607
Yeah, why?
169
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,275
You talk to your mother like that?
170
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:31,028
Well, we're both adults.
We talk about everything.
171
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,322
Well, isn't that healthy.
172
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,115
What? You don't talk
to your dad like that?
173
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,785
Oh, hardly. We hardly speak at all.
174
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,994
Really?
175
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,372
Well, you know,
we're not really very similar people.
176
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,376
In fact, my brother and I
are a lot more like my mother.
177
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,378
You know,
if it wasn't biologically impossible,
178
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,382
I'd swear that Dad was dropped
in a basket on our doorstep.
179
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,095
Hey, sweet cakes, you seen my engineer?
180
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,138
I think someone's talking to you, Frasier.
181
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,265
Come on, come on, come on!
182
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,143
Yes, he called and he'll be right here.
183
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,436
Wanna go across the street
184
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,731
and have one of those
expensive coffee drinks?
185
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,607
Maybe some other time.
186
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,610
Right now I'd like to continue
my quest for solitude,
187
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,987
to go someplace where my father,
188
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,616
Mary Poppins and the hound from hell
can't find me.
189
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,453
I think maybe I'll just go sit
under the shade of a tree
190
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,540
and read in a quiet park.
191
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,421
Hello!
192
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:35,885
Hello?
193
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,221
Dad?
194
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,348
Daphne?
195
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,101
Eddie?
196
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:47,856
Could it be?
197
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:49,899
Ho, ho, ho...
198
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:55,363
Oh, yes.
199
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,844
♪ Don't spit on the floor ♪
200
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:22,307
♪ Use the cuspidora
What do you think it's for-a? ♪
201
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,530
So the elephant says, "He's with me."
202
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,368
Ah, Dr. Crane, you're home.
203
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,205
We just got back
from your father's physical therapy.
204
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,916
Oh, glory be, oh, happy day.
205
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,210
It's not that I'm not delighted
to see the two of you,
206
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,420
it's just that I'm in the middle
of a very exciting chapter.
207
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,130
Oh, I understand.
208
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:58,592
So why don't I pop into the kitchen
and brew you up a nice pot of tea?
209
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,137
No, I've just poured myself
a glass of wine. Thank you.
210
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,014
I see.
211
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,315
What you reading?
212
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,816
Oh, Dad,
you wouldn't find it very interesting.
213
00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:16,693
I might. Any good?
214
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,696
Well, I haven't formed an opinion yet.
215
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:22,200
Oddly enough, I'm having
a little trouble getting into it.
216
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,542
Thick.
217
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,131
Dad, really, uh, listen,
I don't want to offend...
218
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:41,593
if you wouldn't mind, could you just
leave me alone and let me read my book?
219
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,428
No problem.
220
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:54,898
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving you alone.
221
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,734
- Well, it's very annoying!
- Oh.
222
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,195
What's your problem?
You've been sucking a lemon all week.
223
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,738
I'll tell you what my problem is.
224
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,824
I can't get a moment's peace
alone in my own house!
225
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,367
Well, forgive me!
226
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,743
When you invited me to move in,
227
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:10,039
I didn't realize I had to stay chained
to the radiator in my room.
228
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,291
Perhaps only evenings.
229
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,250
I heard that!
230
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,669
Well, of course you heard it.
You're never out of earshot.
231
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,671
Oh, you know,
you've always been like this.
232
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,757
You were always a fussy little kid
and it's gotten worse ever since.
233
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,592
You and your precious morning routine.
234
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,137
You gotta have your coffee.
You gotta have your quiet.
235
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,222
You gotta have this. You gotta have that.
236
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,016
Well, aren't you a little hothouse orchid?
237
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,101
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
238
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,894
I don't have to sit here
and listen to that.
239
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,689
Ah, if you want everything so perfect,
why don't you go live in a bubble?
240
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,484
Oh, well, all right, right now
it sounds very inviting!
241
00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,284
Finally, a little peace
and quiet around here.
242
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,669
Hello there, Frasier.
243
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,048
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
244
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,179
That's a nice way
to greet your brother.
245
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,514
Café latte, per piacere.
246
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,268
I'm sorry, Niles. It's just that
I've been trying to read this book,
247
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,937
and it seems no matter
where I light, I get interrupted.
248
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,565
Oh, The Holotropic Mind
by Stanislav Grof.
249
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:21,109
I love his conclusion that a change
in breathing patterns
250
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,778
can induce alternate
states of consciousness.
251
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,614
Great! Now you've ruined the ending!
252
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:28,910
I'm sorry. That was inconsiderate.
253
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,751
- So how's Father?
- Father?
254
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,920
You mean the man
who's driving me crazy?
255
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,172
The man who makes me dread
the sight of my very doorstep?
256
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,007
The man who just drove me
out of my own home?
257
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:44,884
How's work?
258
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,598
Niles, I don't know what I'm going to do.
259
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,351
Dad and I had another fight.
260
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,561
I'm afraid if we stay
under the same roof,
261
00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,482
we'll do irreparable harm
to the relationship we have as it is.
262
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,402
Well, what are the alternatives?
263
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,447
Well, if I didn't feel so guilty,
264
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,449
I'd do what I should
have done in the first place.
265
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,660
Just move Dad and Daphne
into their own apartment.
266
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,287
Oh, for goodness sake, Frasier,
it hasn't been that long.
267
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,747
You have to give it a chance.
268
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,166
And you might remember
why you moved him in in the first place.
269
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,377
Refresh me.
270
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,962
You wanted to get closer to Dad.
271
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,588
I still do.
272
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,091
There isn't anything I'd like more,
but he makes it impossible.
273
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,051
I can't read my book,
I can't have my coffee,
274
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,886
I can't have any peace in my own home.
275
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,055
So what you're saying is
you want to be closer to Dad,
276
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,058
but you don't actually want him around?
277
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:42,691
Ask yourself, Frasier, have you tried
to sit down and talk to him?
278
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,944
I mean, really talk to him?
279
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,155
Well, I...
280
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,617
Maybe I haven't done my best.
281
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,456
I guess I owe that
to the old man, don't I?
282
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,375
Well, uh...
283
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,670
thanks for the chat, Niles,
you're a good brother
284
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,006
and a credit
to the psychiatric profession.
285
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,467
You're a good brother too.
286
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:15,683
Daphne!
287
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,393
What are my things doing here?
288
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,770
My leather wing chair? My Tisami lamp.
289
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,440
We're putting them in
the storage room in the basement.
290
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,985
There was no room for them in
your study once we got my furniture in.
291
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,695
We discussed it last night, remember?
292
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,280
Of course. Of course.
293
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,824
I was just on my way to ask
that peculiar little man
294
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,410
from Building Services
to give me a hand moving them.
295
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,913
Oh, yes, Kyle. Well, give him my regards.
296
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,248
Oh, yeah, remind me again.
297
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,752
Which one of Kyle's eyes
is really looking at me?
298
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,047
The brown one.
299
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,935
Daphne left your dinner
in the fridge if you're hungry.
300
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:01,354
Well, thanks, but I'm not.
301
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:03,814
Dad.
302
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,443
Listen, I'm sorry about,
uh, the blow-up earlier.
303
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,571
Ah, forget about it. I already have.
304
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:14,491
You know, I guess it's no secret that
there's been a lot of tension between us,
305
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,243
and I think maybe one
of the reasons is
306
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,953
that we never have a chance
to sit and talk.
307
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:18,788
And I...
308
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,624
I thought we might have
a conversation.
309
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,625
Right now?
310
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,253
Yes, I think now would be a good time.
311
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,547
Later would be better.
312
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,882
It doesn't have to be a long
drawn-out conversation.
313
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,218
I'm talking about
three minutes of your life.
314
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,263
I hope it really is only three minutes
'cause my program's coming on.
315
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,180
Well, all right.
316
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,307
If it'll make you any happier,
I'll get the egg timer,
317
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,269
and I will set it for three minutes.
318
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,313
So, what do you wanna talk about?
319
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:49,776
Well, the idea is for us to have
a normal honest conversation
320
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:52,363
just like two normal people
without getting on each other's nerves.
321
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,534
Ready.
322
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,746
Go.
323
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,456
This is stupid.
324
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,419
One second. That's our personal best?
325
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,259
Let us see if we can beat it.
326
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,429
Ready.
327
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,347
Go.
328
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,351
So how about those Seahawks?
329
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,353
- No sports.
- All right, no opera.
330
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,188
Agreed.
331
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,110
Ready.
332
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,154
Go.
333
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,993
This is your idea.
You say something first.
334
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,328
All right, all right.
335
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:44,582
I'll tell you something about myself
that, uh, you don't know.
336
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,044
Uh, six months ago when...
337
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,589
Lilith and I were really on the rocks,
338
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:57,637
there was a time of depression I went
through that was so terrible I actually
339
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,805
climbed out on a ledge and...
340
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,683
wondered if life was worth living.
341
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:04,852
Then I...
342
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,188
I thought of Frederick.
343
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,440
And you didn't jump, huh?
344
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:17,490
Good, Dad.
345
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,659
Wow, I never knew that.
346
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,119
Well, that's the point
of this whole experiment.
347
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,873
To tell one another something
that we don't know about each other,
348
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,168
something vulnerable. Now it's your turn.
349
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,295
Okay.
350
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,340
Well, about two months ago
351
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,761
I was in the basement going through
some old pictures of your mother and me.
352
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,764
And all of a sudden
something flew up in my eye.
353
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,016
And when I was trying to get it out,
354
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:49,063
I realized that I could turn my eyelid
inside out the way kids do at camp.
355
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,233
That's it?
356
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,192
You call that vulnerable?
357
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,069
- It hurt.
- Well--
358
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,488
I'm not talking about that kind of pain.
359
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:03,535
I'm talking about your emotions,
your soul, some sort of painful,
360
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,869
gut-wrenching experience.
361
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:05,829
Other than this one?
362
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,915
Oh, God, always the flip answer.
363
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,958
Well, this whole thing's stupid.
364
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,292
Well, not to me!
365
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,961
Oh, how should I expect
anything out of you?
366
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,463
You are the most cold,
367
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:19,551
intractable, unapproachable, distant,
stubborn, cold man I've ever known!
368
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,261
You said cold twice, Mr. Egghead.
369
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,387
Egghead? Egghead?
370
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,722
You said "egghead" twice too.
371
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,849
Ooh, you are so infuriating!
372
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,101
You're no day at the beach either.
You know what you are?
373
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:29,477
I'll tell you later.
374
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,771
It's time for my program.
375
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,821
Dad, I don't think you see
how serious this is.
376
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,489
Oh, will you give it a rest?
377
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:44,577
Look, we're not getting along
and it's not getting any better.
378
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,372
I'm not sure how to say this, but...
379
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,000
I...
380
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,589
- I'm afraid I'm going to have to...
- I know what you're trying to say.
381
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,467
You want what's best for both of us.
You wanna get me out of here.
382
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:03,511
Then you can have your own space
and I'll have my own space,
383
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,681
and we can put an end
to all this bickering.
384
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:07,641
Well, yes.
385
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:10,435
I guess it wasn't
so hard to say after all.
386
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,644
Except for one thing.
387
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:12,979
I'm not going.
388
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,063
What?
389
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:17,150
You want us to forge
some great father-son relationship,
390
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:18,818
to make some connection.
391
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,487
That kind of thing
takes a couple of years,
392
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,572
not a couple of days, doesn't it?
393
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:23,824
You're the shrink.
394
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,826
Couple of years, huh?
395
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,788
Ah, it'll go by before you know it.
396
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,249
Either that or it'll seem like eternity.
397
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,009
I'm willing to give it a shot if you are.
398
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,638
- Okay.
- Great.
399
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,599
How about you and me
having a beer together?
400
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:49,934
Wow.
401
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,729
You know, in all these years,
you've never asked me that.
402
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,272
I'd love to have a beer with you, Dad.
403
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:59,275
Well, then you better haul ass
'cause the store closes in ten minutes.
404
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,486
Right.
405
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:12,790
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
406
00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:14,958
♪ Mercy ♪
407
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:17,252
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
408
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,921
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
409
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:22,257
♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
410
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,758
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
411
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,304
♪ With those tossed salads
And scrambled eggs ♪
412
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:29,682
♪ They're callin' again ♪
413
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,309
♪ Good night! ♪