1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:03,962 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:14,014 Listen to yourself, Bob. You follow her to work. 3 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,682 You eavesdrop on her calls. 4 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,267 You open her mail. 5 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,979 The minute you started doing these things, the relationship was over. 6 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,231 Thank you for your call. 7 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,777 Roz, I think we have time for one more. 8 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:27,778 Yes, Dr. Crane. 9 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:30,447 On line four we have Russell from Kirkland. 10 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,368 Hello, Russell, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. 11 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,285 I'm listening. 12 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,996 [Russell] Well, I've been feeling sort of, you know... 13 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,623 depressed lately. 14 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,876 My life's not going anywhere. 15 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,003 And it's not that bad. It's just... 16 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,507 the same old apartment, same old job... 17 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:51,343 Uh, Russell, we're just about at end of our hour. 18 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:55,347 Let me see if I can cut to the chase by using myself as an example. 19 00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:59,393 Six months ago I was living in Boston. 20 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:03,105 My wife had left me, which was very painful, 21 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,606 then she came back to me... 22 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:05,899 which was excruciating. 23 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,241 On top of that, my practice had grown stagnant 24 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,368 and my social life consisted of, 25 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,871 well, hanging around a bar night after night. 26 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,710 You see, I was clinging to a life that wasn't working anymore. 27 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,962 And I knew I had to do something, anything. 28 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,298 So I ended the marriage once and for all, 29 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:32,676 packed up my things and moved back here to my hometown of Seattle. 30 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:33,594 Go Seahawks. 31 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:38,307 I took action, Russell, and you can too. 32 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,684 Move, change, do something. 33 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:44,354 If it's a mistake do something else. Will you do that, Russell? 34 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:49,067 Will you? Russell? 35 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,153 I think we lost him. 36 00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:54,156 No, we cut to the news 30 seconds ago. 37 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,244 Oh, for crying out loud! 38 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,955 I finally bare my soul to all of Seattle 39 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,583 and they're listening to Chopper Dave's Rush-Hour Roundup! 40 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,879 The rest of the show was pretty good. 41 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,382 It was a good show, wasn't it? 42 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,593 Here, your brother called. 43 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,762 Roz, in the trade, we call that avoidance. 44 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,847 Don't change the subject. Tell me what you think. 45 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,475 Did I ever tell you what this little button does? 46 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,644 I am not a piece of Lalique. 47 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,437 I can handle criticism. 48 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,481 - How was I today? - Let's see. 49 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,025 You dropped two commercials, 50 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,235 you left a total of 28 seconds of dead air, 51 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:35,447 you scrambled the station's call letters, you spilled yogurt on the control board, 52 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:39,409 and you kept referring to Jerry with the identity crisis as Jeff. 53 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,167 - You say my brother called? - Mm-hm. 54 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,092 [Niles] So I said to the gardener, "Yoshi, 55 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,511 I do not want a Zen garden in my back yard. 56 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,347 If I want to rake gravel every ten minutes to maintain my inner harmony, 57 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,807 I'll move to Yokohama." 58 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:06,478 Well, this offends him so he starts pulling up Maris' prized camellias 59 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:07,396 by the handful. 60 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,106 Well, I couldn't stand for that, 61 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:13,151 so I marched right into the morning room and locked the door till he cooled down. 62 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,698 Tell me you would have handled it differently. 63 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,660 Oh, I'm sorry, Niles. I didn't realize you'd stopped talking. 64 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,371 You haven't heard a word I said. 65 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,580 Niles, you're a psychiatrist. 66 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,083 You know what it's like to listen to people prattling on endlessly 67 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,418 about their mundane lives. 68 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,545 Touché. 69 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,005 And on that subject, I heard your show today. 70 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,637 And? 71 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,639 You know what I think about pop psychiatry. 72 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,016 Yes, I know what you think about everything. 73 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,686 When was the last time you had an unexpressed thought? 74 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,187 I'm having one now. 75 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,859 - You guys ready? - Two café lattes supremos. 76 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,535 No, thank you. 77 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,790 So, Frasier, how you doing on your own? 78 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:10,834 I'm fine. 79 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:12,711 I love my new life. 80 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,130 I love the solitude. 81 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,090 I miss Fredrick like the dickens, of course. 82 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,258 You know, he's quite a boy. 83 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,136 He's playing goalie on the pee-wee soccer team now. 84 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,388 A chip off the old block. 85 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,807 - You hated sports. - So does he! 86 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,228 Yeah, the fresh air's good for him. 87 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,023 Oh, well, this has been fun, Frasier, 88 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:37,027 but we have a problem and that's why I thought we should talk. 89 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,654 - Is it Dad? - Afraid so. 90 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:42,699 One of his old buddies from the police force called this morning. 91 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,202 He went over to see him and found him on the bathroom floor. 92 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,579 - Oh, my God. - No, it's okay, he's fine. 93 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:48,914 What, his hip again? 94 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,751 Frasier, I don't think he can live alone anymore. 95 00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:55,462 What can we do? 96 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:59,925 Well, I know this isn't going to be anyone's favorite solution but... 97 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:03,428 I took the liberty of checking out a few convalescent homes for him. 98 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,972 Niles, a home? He's still a young man. 99 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,933 Well, you certainly can't take care of him. 100 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,768 You're just getting your new life together. 101 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:13,188 Absolutely. Well, besides, we were never simpatico. 102 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,816 Of course, I can't take care of him. 103 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,735 Oh, yes, yes, of course, of course. Why? 104 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,614 - Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris. - Who does? 105 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,617 I thought you liked my Maris. 106 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:28,453 I do, I... I like her from a distance. 107 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,289 You know, the way you like the sun. 108 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:34,000 Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth. 109 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:42,259 Well, then we're agreed about what to do with Dad. 110 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,761 "Golden Acres. 111 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,930 We care so you don't have to." 112 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,938 - It says that? - Well, it might as well. 113 00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,193 All right, I'll make up the spare bedroom. 114 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,903 Oh, you're a good son, Frasier. 115 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,530 Oh, God, I am, aren't I? 116 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,325 Two café supremos. Anything to eat? 117 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,495 No, I seem to have lost my appetite. 118 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,706 I'll have a large piece of cheesecake. 119 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,713 [Frasier playing dramatic melody on piano] 120 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:24,968 [doorbell rings] 121 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:47,991 Hi! 122 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,243 We finally made it. 123 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,288 Ah, Dad, Dad, welcome to your new home. 124 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,458 Gee, you look great. 125 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,543 Don't B.S. me. I do not look great. 126 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,212 I spent Monday on the bathroom floor. 127 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,506 You can still see the tile marks on my face. 128 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,969 Gives you some idea about the ride over in the car. 129 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,347 Well, uh, here we are. 130 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,936 Rest assured the refrigerator is stocked with your favorite beer, Ballantine, 131 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:19,230 and we've got plenty of hot links and coleslaw. 132 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,067 I just rented a Charles Bronson movie for later. 133 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,069 Let's cut the "Welcome to Camp Crane" speech. 134 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,236 We know why I'm here. 135 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,406 Your old man can't be left alone for ten minutes without falling on his ass, 136 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,158 and Frasier got stuck with me. Isn't that right? 137 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,827 [both] No, no! 138 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,958 I want you here. It'll give us a chance to get reacquainted. 139 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:40,293 That implies we were acquainted at one point. 140 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,219 Well, ahem. Listen, why don't I take Dad's things 141 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,845 into his new bachelor quarters 142 00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,056 so you two scoundrels can plan some hijinks? 143 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,186 I think that wife of his is driving him Nutso. 144 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,605 Yes, we Crane boys... 145 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,857 sure know how to marry. 146 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,571 Let me get you a beer, Dad. 147 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:13,034 So, what do you think of what I've done with the place, huh? 148 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,537 You know, every item here was carefully selected. 149 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,830 This lamp by Corbu. 150 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,248 The chair by Eames. 151 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:23,837 And this couch is an exact replica of the one Coco Chanel had in her Paris atelier. 152 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,296 Nothing matches. 153 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,049 Well, it's a style of decorating. It's called eclectic. 154 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,094 Well, the theory behind it is... 155 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,638 if you've got really fine pieces of furniture, 156 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,558 it doesn't matter if they match. They will go together. 157 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,476 It's your money. 158 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,188 [doorbell rings] 159 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,692 Dad, what do you think of that view? Hey, that's the Space Needle there. 160 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,110 Oh, thanks of pointing that out. 161 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,195 Being born and raised here, I never would've known. 162 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,451 Delivery for Martin Crane. 163 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,161 - Oh, in here. - [man] Coming through. 164 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,747 Excuse me. Excuse me! Wait a minute. 165 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:01,041 - Where do you want it? - Where's the TV? 166 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,585 - It's in that credenza. - Point it at that thing. 167 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,836 What about this chair? 168 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,629 The chair. Let me get it out of your way. 169 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,923 Niles be careful with that! That's a Wassily! 170 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:14,054 Oh, Dad, as dear as I'm sure that this piece is to you, 171 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,765 I just don't think it goes with anything here. 172 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,641 I know. It's eclectic. 173 00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,898 Niles. Niles, will you help me out here? 174 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,816 You're gonna have to run an extension cord over here 175 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,818 so I can plug in the vibrating part. 176 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,404 Oh, yes, yes, that will be the crowning touch. 177 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:38,995 Well, now that you two are settled in, I've got to run. 178 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,456 I'm late for my dysfunctional family seminar. 179 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,627 Dad, have you mentioned Eddie yet? 180 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,629 - Eddie? - Ta, ta. 181 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,508 - No, Dad, no, no, not Eddie. - But he's my best friend. 182 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,802 - Get me my beer, will you? - But he's weird. 183 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,931 He gives me the creeps. All he does is stare at me. 184 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,599 Ah, it's just your imagination. 185 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,811 No, Dad, no. No, I'm sorry. But I am putting my foot down. 186 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,187 Eddie is not moving in here. 187 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,482 [tense music playing on TV] 188 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,671 Oh, Niles, there you are. 189 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,839 I'm sorry I'm late. 190 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:34,676 Just as I was leaving, Dad decided to cook lunch by the glow of a small kitchen fire. 191 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,221 Oh, Niles, this last week with Dad, 192 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,556 it's been a living hell. 193 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,808 When I'm there, I feel like my territory's being violated. 194 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,852 When I'm not, I'm worried about what he's up to. 195 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,854 Look at me, I'm a nervous wreck! 196 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,606 I've gotta do something to calm down. Double espresso, please. 197 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:53,987 Niles, you don't still have the brochures for those... those rest homes, do you? 198 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,071 Of course I do. 199 00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,532 Don't forget, Maris is five years older than I am. 200 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,705 But do you really think that's necessary? 201 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:04,998 I'm afraid I do. 202 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,667 I don't have my life anymore. 203 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,752 Tuesday night, I gave up my tickets to the theater. 204 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,171 Wednesday, it was the symphony. 205 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,047 Weren't you going to the opera on Friday? 206 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,465 - Yes, here. - Thank you. 207 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:23,224 Niles, you don't suppose there's a chance that you and Maris could... 208 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,519 Funny you should mention that. Maris and I were just discussing this. 209 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,230 We feel we should do more to share the responsibility. 210 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,523 Do you mean you'd take him in? 211 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,192 Dear God, no. 212 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,780 But we would be willing to help you pay for a home-care worker. 213 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,990 A what? 214 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,993 Someone who cooks and cleans and can help Dad with his physical therapy. 215 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,620 These angels exist? 216 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:45,788 I know of an agency. 217 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,416 Let me arrange for them to send a few people over to meet with you. 218 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,795 Niles, I can't thank you enough. 219 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:56,132 I feel this overwhelming urge to hug you. 220 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:59,677 Remember what Mom always said, "A handshake is as good as a hug." 221 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,513 Wise woman. 222 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:09,270 I have never been more impressed with a human being in my life. 223 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,398 Now what was wrong with that one? 224 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:17,695 - She was casing the joint. - Casing the joint. 225 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,405 She spent two years with Mother Teresa. 226 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,576 If I were Mother Teresa, I'd check my jewelry box. 227 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,623 - [doorbell rings] - Now this is the last one. 228 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:31,417 Can you please try to keep an open mind? 229 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:36,005 Oh, hello. Caught me with me hand in the biscuit tin. 230 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,384 I'm Daphne. Daphne Moon. 231 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,177 - Frasier Crane. Please come in. - Thank you. 232 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,388 This is my father, Martin Crane. 233 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,349 - Dad, this is Daphne Moon. - Nice to meet you. 234 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,601 Oh, and who might this be? 235 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:50,687 That is Eddie. 236 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,360 I call him Eddie Spaghetti. 237 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,904 - Oh, he likes pasta? - No, he has worms. 238 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:05,952 [Frasier] Uh... 239 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,204 Have a seat, Miss Moon. 240 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,539 Daphne. Thank you. 241 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,918 Oh, will you look at that? 242 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,295 What a comfy chair. 243 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,422 It's like I always say, 244 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,133 start with a good piece and replace the rest 245 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,175 when you can afford it. 246 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,476 Yes, well, uh, 247 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,313 perhaps you should start by telling us a little bit about yourself. 248 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,524 Well, I'm originally from Manchester, England. 249 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,859 Did you hear that, Dad? 250 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,445 I'm three feet away. There's nothing wrong with my hearing. 251 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:46,784 I've only been in the U.S. for a few months. 252 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:52,790 But I have quite an extensive background in home care and physical therapy, 253 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,084 as you can see from my résumé. I-- 254 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,463 You were a policeman, weren't you? 255 00:13:58,463 --> 00:13:59,464 Yeah. How'd you know? 256 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,509 I must confess, I'm a bit psychic. 257 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:10,850 It's nothing big. Just little things I sense about people. 258 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,977 It's not like I could pick the lottery. 259 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,022 If I could, I wouldn't be talking to the likes of you two now, would I? 260 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,108 Yes. 261 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,235 Perhaps I should describe the duties around here. 262 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,237 - You would be responsible for-- - Oh, wait a minute. 263 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,448 I'm getting something on you. 264 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,158 You're a florist. 265 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,205 No, I'm a psychiatrist. 266 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,915 Well, it comes and goes. 267 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:39,003 Usually it's strongest during my time of the month. 268 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,632 Oh, I guess I let a little secret out there, didn't I? 269 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,676 It's safe with us. 270 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,681 Well, Miss Moon, I think we've learned just about all we need to know about you. 271 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,392 And a dash extra. 272 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,646 You're a dog, aren't you? 273 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,153 Well, we'll be calling you Miss Moon. 274 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,196 Why wait? 275 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,073 - You got the job. - Oh, wonderful! 276 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,699 Oh, excuse me, excuse me. 277 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,535 Aren't you forgetting something? 278 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,703 Don't you think we should talk about this in private? 279 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:16,457 Oh, of course you should. I completely understand. 280 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,376 I'll just pop into the loo. 281 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,586 - You do have one, don't you? - Yes. 282 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,296 Oh, I love America. 283 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,593 What do you think you're doing? 284 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,137 You wanted me to pick one, I picked one. 285 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,847 But she's a kook. I don't like her. 286 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,765 Well, what difference does it make to you? 287 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,475 She's only gonna be here when you're not. 288 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,311 Then... what's my problem? 289 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,355 Daphne! 290 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,401 - You've been retained. - Oh, wonderful. 291 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,027 I had a premonition. 292 00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:45,903 Quelle surprise. 293 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,491 I'll move the things in tomorrow. 294 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,617 Oh, move in? 295 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,661 Oh, I'm sorry. There must be some misunderstanding. 296 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,204 This isn't a live-in position. 297 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,708 - Oh, dear. Well, the lady at the agency-- - The lady at the agency was wrong. 298 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,209 This is just a part-time position. 299 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,170 I'm afraid it just won't work out. 300 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,464 Hold on there, Frasier! Let's talk about this. 301 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,007 Dad, there's nothing to discuss. 302 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,717 You two should talk about this. 303 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:11,846 So I'll just pop back in here and enjoy some more of your African erotic art. 304 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,558 Daphne, Daphne. I think it would be best if you leave. 305 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,018 Oh, well, all right, then. 306 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:18,895 Don't be alarmed. 307 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,521 We'll contact you... 308 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,399 if not be telephone, then through the toaster. 309 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,909 I'm not having another person living in this house. 310 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,202 Give me one good reason why not? 311 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,828 For one thing, there's no room for her. 312 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,455 What about that room across from mine? 313 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,540 My study? You expect me to give up my study? 314 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,959 The place where I read, where I do my most profound thinking? 315 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,420 Ah, use the can like the rest of the world. 316 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,716 You'll adjust. 317 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,051 I don't want to adjust. 318 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,511 I've done enough adjusting. 319 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,638 I'm in a new city, I've got a new job. 320 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:57,475 I'm separated from my little boy which in itself is enough to drive me nuts. 321 00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:00,019 And now my father and his dog are living with me. 322 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,979 That's enough on my plate, thank you. 323 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,565 The whole idea of getting somebody in here was to help ease my burden, 324 00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,983 not to add to it. 325 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,068 You hear that, Eddie? 326 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,611 - We're a burden. - Oh, Dad. 327 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:12,573 Dad, you're twisting my words. I meant burden in its most positive sense. 328 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,953 As in "Gee, what a lovely burden"? 329 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,539 Something like that. Yes. 330 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,499 You're not the only one who got screwed here. 331 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,960 Two years ago I'm sailing toward retirement and some punk 332 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,546 robbing a convenience store puts a bullet in my hip. 333 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,423 Next, I'm trading in my golf clubs for one of these. 334 00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,592 Well, I had plans too, you know. 335 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,261 And this may come as a shock to you, 336 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,804 but one of them wasn't living with you. 337 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:36,639 I'm just trying to do the right thing here. 338 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,975 - I'm trying to be the good son. - Don't worry. 339 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:42,311 After I'm gone, you can live guilt-free knowing you've done right by your papa. 340 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,938 You think this is all about guilt? 341 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,898 - Isn't it? - Of course it is. 342 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,860 The point is I did it. I took you in and I've got news for you. 343 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,280 I wanted to do it because you're my father. 344 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,907 And how do you repay me? 345 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,827 Ever since you moved in here, it's been a snide comment about this 346 00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,079 or a smart little put-down about that. 347 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,956 I've done my best to make a home here for you. 348 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:06,669 And once, just once would it have killed you to say thank you? 349 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,254 One lousy thank you? 350 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,350 Come on, Eddie, it's past your dinnertime. 351 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:23,811 I'm going out. 352 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,412 They have got to move the bathroom closer to the studio! 353 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,750 We'll be right back after these messages. 354 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,293 Can't I put that on tape? 355 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,630 What's eating you? 356 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,342 Oh, I'm sorry. It's just this thing with my father. 357 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,136 This person he wants to hire. 358 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,139 I thought I'd start my life with a clean slate 359 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:04,602 and I had a picture of what it was gonna be like and then... I don't know. 360 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,897 Ever heard of Lupe Velez? 361 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:08,898 Who? 362 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,024 Lupe Velez? 363 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:11,984 The movie star in the '30s? 364 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,571 Well, her career hit the skids. 365 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,949 So she decided she'd make one final stab at immortality. 366 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,577 She figured if she couldn't be remembered for her movies, 367 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,746 she'd be remembered for the way she died. 368 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:26,540 And all Lupe wanted was to be remembered. 369 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,585 So she plans this lavish suicide. 370 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,838 Flowers, candles, silk sheets, white satin gown. 371 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,799 Full hair and makeup... the works. 372 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,801 She takes the overdose of pills, 373 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:40,888 lays on the bed and imagines how beautiful she's going to look 374 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,349 on the front page of tomorrow's newspaper. 375 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:47,978 Unfortunately, the pills don't set well with the enchilada combo plate 376 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,980 she sadly chose as her last meal. 377 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,901 She stumbles to the bathroom, 378 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,613 trips and goes head first into the toilet and that's how they found her. 379 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,576 Is there a reason you're telling me this story? 380 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,286 Yes. 381 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,790 Even though things may not happen like we planned, 382 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,208 they can work out anyway. 383 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:14,130 Remind me again how it worked for Lupe, 384 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,257 last seen with her head in the toilet. 385 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,677 All she wanted was to be remembered. 386 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,012 Will you ever forget that story? 387 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,435 We're back. 388 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,937 Roz, who's our next caller? 389 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,648 We have Martin on line one. 390 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,608 He's having a problem with his son. 391 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,530 Hello, Martin, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. 392 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,324 - I'm listening. - [Martin] I'm a first time caller. 393 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,291 Welcome to the show. 394 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,752 How can I help you? 395 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,588 I just moved in with my son and, uh... 396 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:57,631 it ain't working. 397 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:01,469 - There's a lot of tension between us. - I can imagine. 398 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,554 Why do you think that's so? 399 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:08,768 I guess I didn't see he had a whole new life planned for himself, 400 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,978 and I kind of got in the way. 401 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,022 Well, these things are a two-way street. 402 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:16,400 Perhaps your son wasn't sensitive enough to see 403 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,361 how your life was changing. 404 00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,404 You got that right! 405 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,323 I've been telling him that ever since I got there! 406 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:26,619 I'm sure he appreciated your candor. 407 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,289 Maybe sometimes I ought to just learn to keep my trap shut. 408 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,916 That's good advice for us all. 409 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,045 Anything else? 410 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:40,800 I'm worried that my son doesn't know I appreciate what he's done for me. 411 00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:43,844 Why don't you tell him? 412 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:48,098 You know how it is with fathers and sons, you have trouble saying that stuff. 413 00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:54,897 Well, if it helps, I suspect your son already knows how you feel. 414 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,403 - Is that all? - Yeah, I guess that's it. 415 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:02,696 Thank you, Dr. Crane. 416 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:04,782 My pleasure, Martin. 417 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:06,659 Did you hear what I said, I said thank you! 418 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:07,701 Yes, I heard. 419 00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:17,294 Uh, Dr. Crane we have Claire on line four. 420 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:20,214 She's having a problem getting over a relationship. 421 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,884 Hello, Claire. I'm listening. 422 00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:29,640 [Claire] I'm a... Well, I'm a mess. [sobs] 423 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:33,227 Eight months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up, 424 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,312 and I just can't get over it. 425 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,023 The pain isn't going away. 426 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:40,568 It's almost like I'm in mourning for something. 427 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:44,154 Claire, you are in mourning. 428 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,908 But you're not mourning the loss of your boyfriend. 429 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:51,787 You're mourning the loss of what you thought your life 430 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:52,788 was going to be. 431 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:55,708 Let it go. 432 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,044 Things don't always work out how you planned. 433 00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:01,338 That's not necessarily bad. 434 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,842 Things have a way of working out anyway. 435 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:08,888 Have you ever heard of Lupe Velez? 436 00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:18,022 [theme music playing] 437 00:23:18,022 --> 00:23:22,693 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 438 00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:24,904 ♪ Oh, my ♪ 439 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,947 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 440 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,909 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged! ♪ 441 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,994 ♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha ♪ 442 00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:33,579 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 443 00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:36,749 ♪ With those tossed salads And scrambled eggs ♪ 444 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,085 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 445 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,463 ♪ Good night, Seattle, we love you ♪