1 00:00:10,064 --> 00:00:12,567 -Hey, boys, how was dinner? -Oh, 2 00:00:12,776 --> 00:00:14,902 let's say when I picked my lobster out of the tank, 3 00:00:14,986 --> 00:00:18,533 I had no idea he was in for a better evening than I was. 4 00:00:19,158 --> 00:00:20,201 What happened? 5 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:24,498 Well, it started out well enough. First, they seated us at a superb table, 6 00:00:24,665 --> 00:00:26,708 certainly better than the one next to us, 7 00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:28,210 at which, unfortunately, they sat 8 00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:30,630 -Daphne and Donny. -Oh, jeez. 9 00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:33,551 Being very affectionate, of course, whispering, 10 00:00:33,717 --> 00:00:34,969 laughing, holding hands. 11 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,806 This in a place where people were trying to eat. 12 00:00:38,932 --> 00:00:40,975 Well, in an attempt to make things better, 13 00:00:41,059 --> 00:00:43,437 I suggested that Niles and I switch seats 14 00:00:43,604 --> 00:00:45,898 so that he could face the other table. 15 00:00:46,107 --> 00:00:47,818 Unfortunately, moments later, 16 00:00:47,985 --> 00:00:50,737 they seated Maris there with her new boyfriend. 17 00:00:52,991 --> 00:00:54,659 Also being affectionate. 18 00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:57,746 Grooming each other like spider monkeys. 19 00:00:58,956 --> 00:01:00,606 She was deliberately taunting me, 20 00:01:00,749 --> 00:01:03,544 playing the same coquettish games we used to play in restaurants: 21 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:07,425 Batting her eyes, then coyly hiding behind her breadstick. 22 00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,304 And then to top it all off, 23 00:01:11,388 --> 00:01:13,932 the Pouilly-Fuissé we ordered was a grave disappointment. 24 00:01:14,016 --> 00:01:17,186 I urged he send it back, but he wouldn't create a scene in front of Daphne. 25 00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:18,896 Not that she would've even noticed, 26 00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:21,316 the way Donny was feeding her forkfuls of risotto 27 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,318 as if she'd lost her arms instead of her mind. 28 00:01:23,402 --> 00:01:25,654 What is she doing with him? 29 00:01:25,864 --> 00:01:28,325 Well, some days, it doesn't pay to get out of bed. 30 00:01:28,491 --> 00:01:30,409 The highlight of my day is getting out of bed 31 00:01:30,493 --> 00:01:33,831 so I can slam it back up into the wall. 32 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,499 How long are you gonna stay there? 33 00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:37,544 You can afford the Montana now, can't you? 34 00:01:37,628 --> 00:01:40,088 Yes, but thanks to Frasier, there's a tenant living there. 35 00:01:40,172 --> 00:01:42,972 May I remind you that you begged me to find you a sublet. 36 00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:45,601 Someone austere and dignified enough 37 00:01:45,763 --> 00:01:47,765 not to offend your starchy neighbors. 38 00:01:47,931 --> 00:01:49,641 Frasier, I'm not trying to blame you. 39 00:01:49,725 --> 00:01:51,894 It's just my whole world is crashing down around me. 40 00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:53,813 -I wanna go home. -Well, I'm sorry, Niles. 41 00:01:53,897 --> 00:01:55,566 He's got two months left on his sublet. 42 00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:57,651 Can't you give him a call and lean on him a bit? 43 00:01:57,735 --> 00:02:01,335 Dad, the man has a lease. I can't very well call and ask him to move out. 44 00:02:02,783 --> 00:02:04,083 -Hi, Daph. -Evening, all. 45 00:02:04,242 --> 00:02:06,204 -How's dinner? -It was wonderful. 46 00:02:06,371 --> 00:02:07,955 You should've come over and joined us. 47 00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:10,292 Well, you looked like you had enough to contend with, 48 00:02:10,376 --> 00:02:13,837 what with your table's fork shortage. 49 00:02:16,508 --> 00:02:18,358 Oh, Donny takes such good care of me. 50 00:02:18,468 --> 00:02:20,387 After you left, I made the tiniest comment 51 00:02:20,471 --> 00:02:23,641 about not liking the Pouilly Fuissé, and he sent it back. 52 00:02:23,849 --> 00:02:26,103 That snooty wine steward argued with him, 53 00:02:26,311 --> 00:02:27,895 but Donny made a scene with the owner, 54 00:02:27,979 --> 00:02:31,109 and the next thing you knew, our entire meal was on the house. 55 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,945 I've never been prouder of him. 56 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,991 Frasier, I wanna go home. 57 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,954 I'll call Dr. MacLowery. 58 00:02:45,876 --> 00:02:47,878 LATIMER: Why, Dr. Crane, you're back. 59 00:02:48,045 --> 00:02:49,339 NILES: Yes, Mrs. Latimer. 60 00:02:49,506 --> 00:02:51,924 Fortunately, my sublet was able to move out early. 61 00:02:52,008 --> 00:02:53,927 I trust your tour was a success? 62 00:02:54,137 --> 00:02:57,390 -A triumph. -Good. Take care. 63 00:02:57,890 --> 00:02:59,935 Tour? 64 00:03:00,686 --> 00:03:04,274 I could hardly let these people know where I was living. 65 00:03:04,441 --> 00:03:06,359 I told them I was on a lecture tour of Africa 66 00:03:06,443 --> 00:03:08,543 -so they wouldn't try to contact me. -Ah. 67 00:03:09,321 --> 00:03:12,074 Niles, maybe he isn't here. Maybe we should just let ourselves in. 68 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,202 Right. All right. 69 00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:17,748 H… Oh. 70 00:03:18,916 --> 00:03:20,626 I'm home. 71 00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:23,922 Oh… 72 00:03:24,089 --> 00:03:27,050 I can already feel the last four months dropping away. 73 00:03:27,217 --> 00:03:31,055 Yes. Soon, Africa will be just a memory. 74 00:03:34,059 --> 00:03:37,730 I just wanna close my eyes and savor the serenity. 75 00:03:37,897 --> 00:03:39,483 [SHOES TAPPING] 76 00:03:39,649 --> 00:03:41,777 What the hell is that? 77 00:03:43,196 --> 00:03:44,655 It's Dr. MacLowery. 78 00:03:47,074 --> 00:03:50,120 Doctor… Dr. MacLowery, what are you doing? 79 00:03:50,287 --> 00:03:53,500 That was a ball change leading to a riff drop. 80 00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:55,460 You gotta lick it and stick it. 81 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:59,089 -When did you take up tap dancing? -Years ago. 82 00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:02,092 I figured if I didn't dance, I'd go crazy. 83 00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:09,894 I'm not sure he caught it in time. 84 00:04:11,687 --> 00:04:14,191 -Wh… Wh… -Oh! 85 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,401 Ooh! Baseboard. Baseboard. 86 00:04:16,568 --> 00:04:18,905 FRASIER: Dr. MacLowery, please, the neighbors. 87 00:04:19,072 --> 00:04:21,532 You tell me about it. Why, those bunch of sourpusses. 88 00:04:21,616 --> 00:04:23,327 Why, all they do is complain. 89 00:04:23,536 --> 00:04:25,746 Sunshine, rain. 90 00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:27,874 [DOORBELL RINGS] 91 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:31,962 Oh. Well, look who it is. 92 00:04:32,128 --> 00:04:34,173 It's the Tenants' Board come to welcome me home. 93 00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,884 Carol and Alfred Larkin, you remember my brother, Frasier. 94 00:04:36,968 --> 00:04:38,595 Oh, and Mr. Probst. 95 00:04:38,762 --> 00:04:40,681 See here, Crane. 96 00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,643 We abhor noise in this building. 97 00:04:43,852 --> 00:04:45,270 Oh, I couldn't agree more. 98 00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:47,398 [SHOES TAPPING] 99 00:04:48,983 --> 00:04:50,526 And what do you call that? 100 00:04:50,734 --> 00:04:54,614 I believe that was lick it and stick it. 101 00:04:57,076 --> 00:04:58,702 This has been going on for months. 102 00:04:58,786 --> 00:05:01,330 We would have contacted you if we'd known how to. 103 00:05:01,539 --> 00:05:03,166 I'm sorry, but Dr. MacLowery's moving… 104 00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,836 Dr. Crane, I'm afraid the board is leaning 105 00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:08,506 towards rescinding your lease. 106 00:05:08,715 --> 00:05:10,800 What? Why? 107 00:05:11,009 --> 00:05:13,053 Because you're a menace, Crane. 108 00:05:14,722 --> 00:05:15,890 You always have been. 109 00:05:16,056 --> 00:05:19,102 You have something of a reputation in this building. 110 00:05:19,269 --> 00:05:21,898 What with all the raucous parties you've hosted. 111 00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:23,566 PROBST: I'm not a well man. 112 00:05:23,774 --> 00:05:26,737 I have a serious heart problem and I demand quiet. 113 00:05:26,904 --> 00:05:28,655 -We all do. -Mr. Probst, I assure you… 114 00:05:28,739 --> 00:05:31,139 No, we're having a board meeting tomorrow evening 115 00:05:31,242 --> 00:05:33,327 in which we intend to discuss your situation. 116 00:05:33,411 --> 00:05:37,249 And if I were you, I wouldn't plan on unpacking. 117 00:05:39,501 --> 00:05:42,297 So nice seeing you again. 118 00:05:48,262 --> 00:05:51,015 It was good of you to go to all this trouble for your brother. 119 00:05:51,099 --> 00:05:52,809 Yes. Well, in a way, I felt responsible. 120 00:05:52,893 --> 00:05:54,343 Oh, really? I don't know why. 121 00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:58,107 Just because you sublet my apartment to Bojangles the Loon. 122 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,193 [DOORBELL RINGS] 123 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,071 I'll get it. 124 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,865 Niles, will you relax, please? 125 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:06,701 -Give me that. -Oh, relax. How can I? 126 00:06:06,785 --> 00:06:09,203 In an hour, these people could vote me out of my home. 127 00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,874 They won't if you show them a good time at this reception. 128 00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:14,251 A couple of drinks, some food, some witty conversation, 129 00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:16,212 they'll realize what an asset you are. 130 00:06:16,296 --> 00:06:18,006 -Hi, guys. -Hey, Roz. 131 00:06:18,215 --> 00:06:19,883 Great party, Niles. 132 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:21,386 [CHUCKLES] 133 00:06:23,096 --> 00:06:25,223 I was surprised to get your last-minute invitation. 134 00:06:25,307 --> 00:06:27,907 You're not trying to set me up with anybody, are you? 135 00:06:28,018 --> 00:06:29,687 -Don't be ridiculous. -Good. 136 00:06:29,853 --> 00:06:31,606 You're here because the caterer canceled. 137 00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:32,732 Now, listen. 138 00:06:32,941 --> 00:06:34,943 We need you to open the wine, cut up some limes 139 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:36,946 and hang up this coat. 140 00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:39,364 You actually think I am so hard up for a night out 141 00:06:39,448 --> 00:06:43,870 that I would spend the evening pushing drinks in God's waiting room? 142 00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:46,541 -Keep your voice down. -Roz, please. 143 00:06:46,708 --> 00:06:49,962 -You're paying for the babysitter. -All right, done. 144 00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:52,172 -What am I, the dishwasher? -FRASIER: No, Dad. 145 00:06:52,256 --> 00:06:55,760 You were invited because, well, it just wouldn't be a party without you. 146 00:06:55,844 --> 00:06:58,596 Although there may be a few women here that are unattached, 147 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:03,102 who might just take a shine to an old debonair dog like yourself. 148 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:05,610 I'm just a piece of meat to you guys, aren't I? 149 00:07:09,527 --> 00:07:12,238 Oh! There goes that damn loose earring again. 150 00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:14,532 Thank goodness it didn't fall into the punch bowl. 151 00:07:14,616 --> 00:07:16,284 Don't want someone choking on it, do we? 152 00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:19,706 Yes, although nothing says party like a tracheotomy. 153 00:07:20,331 --> 00:07:23,418 You must tell us all about your African tour, Dr. Crane. 154 00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:27,715 Yes. Do the local people actually enjoy your lectures? 155 00:07:27,923 --> 00:07:31,553 Well, yes, quite a bit. Except, of course, for the pygmies. 156 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,474 Most of it went right over their heads. 157 00:07:37,727 --> 00:07:38,771 [DOORBELL RINGS] 158 00:07:38,937 --> 00:07:40,606 I'll get it. 159 00:07:44,861 --> 00:07:46,153 Oh, the rest of the board. 160 00:07:46,237 --> 00:07:47,947 Pleased to see you. Come in. 161 00:07:48,324 --> 00:07:50,993 -Hello, good to see you. -Yes. 162 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:52,620 Dr. Crane? 163 00:07:52,828 --> 00:07:54,330 While you were on the subcontinent, 164 00:07:54,414 --> 00:07:57,375 did you happen to spot any rare African waterfowl? 165 00:07:57,584 --> 00:08:00,838 Just one, but it was already spotted. 166 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,348 I'll get it. 167 00:08:09,432 --> 00:08:10,767 FRASIER: Shoo, shoo, shoo! 168 00:08:10,934 --> 00:08:11,976 [BABY SQUAWKS] 169 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:14,104 For God's sake, Niles, will you do something with this damn bird? 170 00:08:14,188 --> 00:08:16,314 Quiet, quiet, quiet. Here. There you go. Over here. 171 00:08:16,398 --> 00:08:18,443 BABY: Niles sucks. 172 00:08:22,447 --> 00:08:25,075 The boys at the Shangri-La loved teaching her things like that. 173 00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:27,286 -It's so tiring. -BABY: Bite me, Niles. 174 00:08:27,453 --> 00:08:28,705 Right back at you. 175 00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:31,791 Hurry with the hors d'oeuvres. The guests are hostile toward me. 176 00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,794 I'm not gonna win any points by starving them. 177 00:08:33,878 --> 00:08:37,591 -BABY: Stuff it, Niles. -Oh, don't tempt me. 178 00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:41,637 -Oh, Dr. Crane? -Yes. 179 00:08:41,804 --> 00:08:45,600 Who is that distinguished-looking man over there? 180 00:08:48,813 --> 00:08:50,272 I've been trying to catch his eye, 181 00:08:50,356 --> 00:08:52,776 but he's far too engrossed in that gardening book. 182 00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:56,238 Well, that is actually my father, Martin. Dad? 183 00:08:59,075 --> 00:09:03,122 -Don't mind him. He's painfully shy. -Oh, I know just how he feels. 184 00:09:03,289 --> 00:09:07,210 I'm a bit of a shrinking violet myself. Martin. 185 00:09:08,837 --> 00:09:10,797 Do you see that obnoxious old lecher? 186 00:09:11,006 --> 00:09:13,968 Well, you're gonna have to be a lot more specific. 187 00:09:15,094 --> 00:09:17,931 The one in the blue jacket. I'm about this close to slapping him. 188 00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,474 Wait, wait, that is Mr. Hawkins. 189 00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:21,477 He's the vice president of the Tenants' Board. 190 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,314 Well, I don't care who he is. He just pinched me. 191 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,901 Roz, please, the man is 80 and arthritic. 192 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,485 How hard can he pinch? 193 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,905 Oh! Ow! 194 00:09:32,699 --> 00:09:34,325 People are not talking, not mixing. 195 00:09:34,409 --> 00:09:36,662 -People are pinching. -FRASIER: Stop it. Stop it. 196 00:09:36,746 --> 00:09:39,248 The party is just starting. Everything's gonna be just fine. 197 00:09:39,332 --> 00:09:41,293 Don't you touch me. 198 00:09:43,545 --> 00:09:45,505 Daphne, how are those other… 199 00:09:48,259 --> 00:09:49,302 Baby? 200 00:09:52,848 --> 00:09:54,183 Oh, dear God. 201 00:09:55,601 --> 00:09:57,020 [GASPS] 202 00:09:58,271 --> 00:09:59,773 This bird's dead. 203 00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:01,108 How did this happen? 204 00:10:01,317 --> 00:10:03,778 She must have eaten some of the hors d'oeuvres. 205 00:10:03,945 --> 00:10:06,322 You mean the ones I just served to Niles' guests? 206 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,033 You are very welcome. 207 00:10:09,326 --> 00:10:12,247 Frasier, I am so sorry. I completely overreacted. 208 00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:14,874 People perked up once they saw those appetizers of yours. 209 00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:17,085 You know, I think the Niles Crane party curse 210 00:10:17,169 --> 00:10:19,922 has finally been laid to rest. 211 00:10:23,468 --> 00:10:24,844 What? 212 00:10:31,395 --> 00:10:33,605 NILES: Will somebody please tell me what happened? 213 00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:36,025 I'm gonna let Daphne tell you. 214 00:10:39,654 --> 00:10:42,241 -What is it? -I don't mean to alarm you, 215 00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:44,743 but there's something wrong with the hors d'œuvre. 216 00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:47,956 -What? How do you know? -A little bird told me. 217 00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:51,961 Ah! 218 00:10:52,295 --> 00:10:54,504 FRASIER: Sorry, sorry. I forgot the garnish. 219 00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:57,884 I'm dreadfully embarrassed about this. Give me that. Thank you very much. 220 00:10:57,968 --> 00:10:59,011 [HAWKINS GRUNTS] 221 00:10:59,177 --> 00:11:01,597 This is the chef's prerogative. You understand, of course. 222 00:11:01,681 --> 00:11:03,599 Roz, for God's sake. 223 00:11:07,938 --> 00:11:09,838 Did you see how it happened? Anything? 224 00:11:10,025 --> 00:11:11,625 Well, I did hear her last words, 225 00:11:11,735 --> 00:11:14,655 but I don't think they'd be of much comfort to you. 226 00:11:15,573 --> 00:11:17,533 Oh, God, Niles, I'm so sorry. 227 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:22,622 The mayonnaise must have gone bad. Or the crab or the pâté. 228 00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:24,082 Which one did she eat? 229 00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,544 I don't know. Daphne, smell her beak. 230 00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:30,466 All right, all right, Niles, are you all right? 231 00:11:30,674 --> 00:11:32,301 Yeah, I just need a moment. 232 00:11:32,468 --> 00:11:34,368 -CAROL: Dr. Crane? -That's long enough. 233 00:11:34,804 --> 00:11:37,891 Excuse me, I'm afraid I spilled punch on my dress. 234 00:11:38,058 --> 00:11:39,602 -I need a towel. -No. No. 235 00:11:39,769 --> 00:11:42,020 You're much better off using, uh, that… 236 00:11:42,104 --> 00:11:44,149 Yeah, this bread. 237 00:11:44,358 --> 00:11:46,151 -It's more absorbent. -Really? 238 00:11:46,318 --> 00:11:49,280 Yes, that's why they call it nature's sponge. 239 00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:51,783 All right. 240 00:11:51,949 --> 00:11:53,159 [CHUCKLES] 241 00:11:53,326 --> 00:11:55,788 It's working. 242 00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:01,961 -All right, what do we do now? -Daphne, you get rid of Baby. 243 00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:04,131 I'll get rid of this tainted food. 244 00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,174 But we still have a roomful of hungry guests 245 00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:08,470 with nothing to serve them. 246 00:12:09,221 --> 00:12:11,098 Oh, God, would you look at that? 247 00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:13,475 She swallowed my earring. That's what killed her. 248 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,853 That means we don't have to destroy the hors d'oeuvres. 249 00:12:15,937 --> 00:12:18,690 Frasier, Frasier, stop. Are there any left? 250 00:12:19,316 --> 00:12:21,110 Yes, we're in luck. 251 00:12:21,902 --> 00:12:24,781 This intrepid little crab puff has survived. 252 00:12:24,948 --> 00:12:28,369 Now, all I need is a very sharp knife and 16 toothpicks. 253 00:12:30,121 --> 00:12:33,291 Niles, I am really getting tired of these people. 254 00:12:33,458 --> 00:12:36,378 Some lady just handed me a piece of wet bread. 255 00:12:36,586 --> 00:12:38,131 Oh, this party is doomed. 256 00:12:38,297 --> 00:12:40,447 FRASIER: No, no, Niles, listen. Don't panic. 257 00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:42,719 We've got everything we need to make hors d'oeuvres. 258 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,889 All we need is time. You get out there and stall. All right. 259 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:48,101 Mrs. Latimer, may I get you some punch? 260 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,604 Well, your father went to get me some, but that was quite a while ago. 261 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,838 Please, allow me. Here. 262 00:12:52,982 --> 00:12:55,901 By the way, where is that adorable bird of yours? 263 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,905 Um, she's resting. 264 00:12:59,573 --> 00:13:01,273 Travel really takes it out of her. 265 00:13:01,783 --> 00:13:04,120 You didn't take her to Africa, surely. 266 00:13:04,579 --> 00:13:05,929 Well, she has family there. 267 00:13:10,002 --> 00:13:11,669 Ah, Mr. Probst, having a good time? 268 00:13:11,753 --> 00:13:13,672 Look here, Crane, if you're not gonna feed us, 269 00:13:13,756 --> 00:13:15,508 we might as well take the vote right now. 270 00:13:15,592 --> 00:13:17,844 -No, please. -I mean, you bring the hors d'oeuvres, 271 00:13:17,928 --> 00:13:20,722 you take the hors d'oeuvres away. What kind of a game is this? 272 00:13:20,806 --> 00:13:22,142 Well, I'm not, I'm not… 273 00:13:22,309 --> 00:13:23,602 Oh, what a good idea. 274 00:13:23,810 --> 00:13:26,229 Why don't we all play a game? Anyone have any suggestions? 275 00:13:26,313 --> 00:13:27,565 CAROL: How about Murder? 276 00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:30,485 We played it at Irene Warriner's party. It was a hoot. 277 00:13:30,693 --> 00:13:32,738 -Oh, how do we play? -Well, here. 278 00:13:32,905 --> 00:13:35,532 Someone tear off a few slips of paper 279 00:13:35,741 --> 00:13:37,827 and on one of them, write the word "murderer." 280 00:13:37,911 --> 00:13:39,036 Then we'll pass them out 281 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:41,874 and then everyone hide and we'll turn out the lights. 282 00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:44,334 The murderer kills someone, they lay down on the floor, 283 00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:47,505 and then we turn on the lights and the detective tries to solve the crime. 284 00:13:47,589 --> 00:13:51,135 I'll tell you what. I'll volunteer to play the detective for the first round. 285 00:13:51,219 --> 00:13:53,095 Let the mayhem begin. 286 00:13:53,304 --> 00:13:57,059 Oh, Martin, there you are. Come, hide with me. 287 00:13:57,226 --> 00:14:00,187 I know a little nook where no one will find us. 288 00:14:01,731 --> 00:14:04,275 Oh, this game's a lot scarier than I thought. 289 00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:10,699 All right, turn out the lights. Everyone, hide. 290 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,457 -I can't see. -Can I help you, sir? 291 00:14:16,624 --> 00:14:19,460 I don't have my glasses. Can you tell me what it says on this thing? 292 00:14:19,544 --> 00:14:23,715 -It says "murderer." -Good. Then you're dead. 293 00:14:24,508 --> 00:14:27,887 This party just gets better and better. 294 00:14:29,305 --> 00:14:31,308 -How soon? -I'm going as fast as I can. 295 00:14:31,517 --> 00:14:33,435 First batch should be ready in five minutes. 296 00:14:33,519 --> 00:14:36,022 All right, five minutes it is. 297 00:14:36,231 --> 00:14:38,567 Ready or not, here I come. 298 00:14:38,733 --> 00:14:42,071 My goodness, the foul fiend has struck already. 299 00:14:42,238 --> 00:14:44,073 Turn the lights on. 300 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,368 Good heavens, he's struck twice. That's not really in the rules, is it? 301 00:14:47,452 --> 00:14:49,705 -Frasier? -Once dead, you cannot speak. 302 00:14:49,871 --> 00:14:52,917 Take your cue from Mr. Probst. All right, everyone. 303 00:14:53,585 --> 00:14:55,713 Did any of you see anything suspicious? 304 00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:58,382 Any odd behavior? 305 00:14:58,591 --> 00:15:02,091 Why don't you just guess who did it so we can get this thing over with. 306 00:15:02,262 --> 00:15:03,763 Not yet. 307 00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:06,100 This is very intriguing. 308 00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:10,355 I think I'm going to have to think about it for 309 00:15:11,815 --> 00:15:13,692 five minutes or so. 310 00:15:13,859 --> 00:15:15,278 [ALFRED GROANS] 311 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,803 -Maybe this game was a bad idea. -No, the fun's just starting. 312 00:15:18,948 --> 00:15:20,951 I tell you what. Let's turn out the lights again 313 00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:25,498 and we'll let our craven villain ply his dark trade once more. 314 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:29,210 Are you quite sure those two didn't die of starvation? 315 00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:32,020 That's very funny. Will you just turn out the lights? 316 00:15:32,423 --> 00:15:34,301 All right, everyone, hide. 317 00:15:34,509 --> 00:15:36,094 -I have a question. -No. No talking. 318 00:15:36,178 --> 00:15:39,724 Just tell me, can the murderer commit suicide? 319 00:15:40,141 --> 00:15:42,601 Well, no, Roz. That wouldn't make much sense, would it? 320 00:15:42,685 --> 00:15:45,730 That's what I thought, but Mr. Probst is the one who murdered me. 321 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,608 -Oh, was he? -Yes. 322 00:15:47,775 --> 00:15:52,405 Well, then, Mr. Probst, I don't think someone is playing by the rules, is he? 323 00:15:52,572 --> 00:15:55,451 You see, this way, no one else can get murdered, can they? 324 00:15:57,411 --> 00:15:58,914 Mr. Probst? 325 00:16:00,415 --> 00:16:02,292 What is it? What are you doing? 326 00:16:02,459 --> 00:16:05,213 -Nothing, Roz, nothing. -Are you taking his pulse? 327 00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:08,717 I'm trying to. I just can't find one. 328 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:12,179 Oh, my God. When he fell down, I thought it was part of the game. 329 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,765 It didn't even look real. 330 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:15,474 It's time to wind the game up. 331 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,560 The appetizers are ready and they are delicious. 332 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,606 I think this party is finally back on track. 333 00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:27,239 Niles, I'm afraid Mr. Probst has passed on. 334 00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:30,034 -What? -Yes, you see, 335 00:16:30,201 --> 00:16:33,301 I think that heart condition of his finally caught up with him. 336 00:16:33,706 --> 00:16:36,792 Dead? No, no, no, he's sleeping. 337 00:16:40,255 --> 00:16:41,756 Old people love to nap. 338 00:16:41,965 --> 00:16:44,593 Mr. Probst, time to wake up. Mr. Probst… 339 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,554 Niles, Niles, he's gone. 340 00:16:46,721 --> 00:16:47,931 Oh! 341 00:16:48,098 --> 00:16:51,435 Oh, my God, this is awful. How could this happen? 342 00:16:52,394 --> 00:16:53,855 Shouldn't we notify someone? 343 00:16:54,063 --> 00:16:55,814 No, he was a widower. He had no children. 344 00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:59,198 He lived alone in this building for 25 years. Oh, this is so awful. 345 00:16:59,361 --> 00:17:01,161 Mr. Probst was right. I am a menace. 346 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,075 -No, Niles, this is not your fault. -But it happened at my party. 347 00:17:04,159 --> 00:17:06,619 That's all they'll remember. I may as well pack my bags. 348 00:17:06,703 --> 00:17:07,953 There's no need for that. 349 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,624 We can still get him out of here without anybody noticing. 350 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,335 How? 351 00:17:13,378 --> 00:17:14,796 -You go find Dad. -Why… 352 00:17:14,963 --> 00:17:17,216 Tell him to call his friend at the police department. 353 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,802 One of his good friends, all right? I'll handle the rest. 354 00:17:19,886 --> 00:17:21,636 -NILES: All right. -What's the rest? 355 00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:24,433 I'm going to use the game to distract everyone. 356 00:17:24,641 --> 00:17:27,228 I will take everyone into the kitchen for questioning, 357 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:29,512 thus drawing their attention from the bodies. 358 00:17:29,647 --> 00:17:31,733 -What do you mean bodies? -Roz… 359 00:17:31,901 --> 00:17:33,444 -No. -You've got to get down. 360 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:36,823 -No way in hell. -All right, all right, how's this? 361 00:17:37,032 --> 00:17:40,202 I will pay your airfare for that vacation of yours next month. 362 00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:43,206 No way. It's just too creepy. 363 00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:44,498 -First class? -Business. 364 00:17:44,582 --> 00:17:46,668 -Done. -All right, get down. 365 00:17:48,629 --> 00:17:50,380 Lie down. 366 00:17:51,131 --> 00:17:53,885 Frasier, Frasier, I found Dad hiding from Mrs. Latimer. 367 00:17:54,052 --> 00:17:55,678 -He called his friend. -Great. 368 00:17:55,887 --> 00:17:57,987 I'll start getting everyone in the kitchen. 369 00:17:58,140 --> 00:18:00,434 Won't they wonder why there hasn't been another murder? 370 00:18:00,518 --> 00:18:02,668 -Good point. -Couldn't we move this along? 371 00:18:02,771 --> 00:18:05,065 -Roz, quiet. -Here. The wagon's on its way. 372 00:18:05,232 --> 00:18:06,900 When it gets here, let me deal with it. 373 00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:08,360 Thank you. I really appreciate this. 374 00:18:08,444 --> 00:18:09,820 FRASIER: Dad, we need one more favor. 375 00:18:09,904 --> 00:18:11,322 You are now the killer. Come on. 376 00:18:11,406 --> 00:18:13,908 You've got to murder somebody, preferably in the kitchen. 377 00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:15,160 -Oh, come on. -Come on. 378 00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:18,372 You're not gonna make somebody lie down on this dirty floor again, are you? 379 00:18:18,456 --> 00:18:21,377 There you are, Martin. Have you been hiding from me? 380 00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:25,422 Hiding? No, you're just the person I've been looking for. 381 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,597 All right, turn on the lights. Everyone… Roz, you okay? 382 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,850 Yeah, it's a carnival down here. 383 00:18:34,058 --> 00:18:35,393 Everyone. 384 00:18:35,894 --> 00:18:40,274 There has been another murder in the kitchen. 385 00:18:40,482 --> 00:18:45,865 I am ready to solve the crime if you will all join me 386 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,741 in the kitchen. 387 00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:49,650 Why can't you solve it right here? 388 00:18:49,743 --> 00:18:51,537 Well, I could. But that wouldn't be proper. 389 00:18:51,621 --> 00:18:54,416 You see, the hors d'oeuvres are in there. 390 00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:57,044 Come along, all right, everyone. 391 00:18:57,211 --> 00:18:58,963 We've got food. 392 00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,971 Don't touch the crime scene, please. Thank you very much. 393 00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:05,012 On your way. Thank you very much. 394 00:19:05,221 --> 00:19:07,265 Hurry, his fingers are getting stiff. 395 00:19:07,432 --> 00:19:08,766 Shh! 396 00:19:10,144 --> 00:19:11,228 All right, then. 397 00:19:11,437 --> 00:19:13,772 Before I determine the identity of the killer, 398 00:19:13,939 --> 00:19:15,942 there are a few questions I'd like to ask each of you. 399 00:19:16,026 --> 00:19:17,318 [BOARD MEMBERS GROAN] 400 00:19:17,402 --> 00:19:18,320 [DOORBELL RINGS] 401 00:19:18,486 --> 00:19:19,654 -I'll get it. -No. 402 00:19:19,822 --> 00:19:21,865 No one leaves until I've solved the crime. 403 00:19:21,949 --> 00:19:23,868 Except you, Dad. 404 00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:26,538 All right, then. 405 00:19:27,706 --> 00:19:30,001 I think I shall begin 406 00:19:31,127 --> 00:19:34,673 by drawing a diagram of where each of you was standing 407 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,884 when the first murder occurred. 408 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,802 [BOARD MEMBERS GROAN] 409 00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:43,224 We have established that Miss Finn 410 00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:48,189 was talking with Mr. Larkin in the upstairs hall 411 00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:51,401 at 8:14. 412 00:19:52,152 --> 00:19:54,822 And he muttered something. 413 00:19:57,241 --> 00:19:59,244 Why do you keep looking out there? 414 00:19:59,411 --> 00:20:02,581 I'll ask the questions around here, Mrs. Larkin. 415 00:20:03,207 --> 00:20:05,877 We already told you, your father killed Mrs. Latimer. 416 00:20:06,086 --> 00:20:08,546 -Mrs. Hawkins saw him. -Mrs. Hawkins thought she saw him. 417 00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:11,133 No, Martin did kill me. 418 00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:14,554 And he's got a lot to learn about playing gently. 419 00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,143 Mrs. Latimer, 420 00:20:19,769 --> 00:20:22,369 we have already broken the no-eating-while-dead rule, 421 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,484 but we will stand fast on the quiet one. 422 00:20:26,318 --> 00:20:28,530 I'm bored, and I'm going home. 423 00:20:28,697 --> 00:20:33,159 No, no, no, wait, you can't blame Niles for this because 424 00:20:33,494 --> 00:20:36,706 my father is the killer. 425 00:20:36,914 --> 00:20:39,960 Yes, the case is closed. Shall we all play another round? 426 00:20:40,168 --> 00:20:42,337 God forbid. Where's Probst? 427 00:20:42,879 --> 00:20:44,924 He just left. He wasn't feeling well. 428 00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:47,384 -Yes, I hope he's all right, poor man. -Who cares? 429 00:20:47,468 --> 00:20:49,638 I never liked the old coot anyway. 430 00:20:50,389 --> 00:20:51,432 You didn't? 431 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,440 I was planning to vote for you tonight just to annoy him. 432 00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:57,063 -Me too. -Well, why don't we vote right now? 433 00:20:57,272 --> 00:21:00,401 Consider it done. You're in, Crane. Welcome back. 434 00:21:00,609 --> 00:21:03,739 Carol, let's get out of here. 435 00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:07,910 Doesn't he have anything stiffer than punch to drink? 436 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,704 I don't like looking at dead bodies, much less touching them. 437 00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:12,540 He's got a bottle of vodka in the freezer. 438 00:21:12,624 --> 00:21:14,585 Oh, great. 439 00:21:24,346 --> 00:21:26,181 Thank you so much for this second chance, 440 00:21:26,265 --> 00:21:27,934 and I can assure you, from now on, 441 00:21:28,018 --> 00:21:30,436 this will be the quietest apartment in the Montana. 442 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,273 ROZ: Oh, my God! 443 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,233 Good night.