1 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:09,609 Hi, guys. 2 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:11,111 Oh, hey, Dad. 3 00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,612 Your cappuccinoto go. 4 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:14,614 Holiday cookies, anyone? 5 00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:15,615 Oh... Oh... 6 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:16,616 Yes, I believe I will. Thank you. 7 00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:18,118 No, not for me. 8 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,119 Watching your weight? 9 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,108 Yeah, and it's killing me. 10 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,621 But the other night, 11 00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:23,123 Ronee made a comment about my "bowl full of jelly. " 12 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,625 Well, everyone puts on a few this time of year. 13 00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:28,128 Everyone doesn't sit around reading the newspaper 14 00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:30,630 actually slurping from a bowl full of jelly. 15 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,532 Well, you look great to me, Martin. 16 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,533 Thanks. 17 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,228 Merry Christmas. 18 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,230 Oh... Eddie and I must have walked about three miles. 19 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:38,526 I'm sweating like a pig. 20 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,541 What the hell are you doing? 21 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,543 I am saving that seat for someone 22 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,446 who may not wish to have it bedewed with pig sweat. 23 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,647 Frasier? 24 00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:49,149 Oh, Natalie! 25 00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:50,639 Hi. Hello. 26 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,153 This is my father, Martin Crane. 27 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,154 Natalie Blanc 28 00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,655 of the Seattle Tourism Board. 29 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:57,157 She wants me to do a promo for them. 30 00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:58,658 He was just leaving. 31 00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:01,661 Oh, that little dog is adorable. 32 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:03,163 Yes, and he's smart as a chimp, too. 33 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:04,152 Off you go. 34 00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:07,167 Oh... Please... 35 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,668 It's so lovely to finally meet you. 36 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,170 Thank you, thank you. Have a seat. 37 00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,161 So... tell me about this promo. 38 00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:15,675 Well, it's pretty simple. 39 00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,666 It begins with you at home on the couch. 40 00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:19,179 And you say... 41 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,170 "Anybody feel like taking a walk? 42 00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,183 Then come to Seattle. " 43 00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:26,186 And then we see you walking at the Space Needle, the beach, 44 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,175 the fish market... 45 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:28,688 But we do all of that with special effects. 46 00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:31,191 It should only take a couple of hours tomorrow. 47 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,693 So... are you in? 48 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,695 I'm in. 49 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,197 You know, it's funny. 50 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,698 When you called me at the last minute, there was 51 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,700 a small, madly insecure part of me 52 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,703 that wondered if I was your second choice. 53 00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:44,692 No, you weren't the second. 54 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:48,196 Nice meeting you. You, too. 55 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:50,710 Oh... 56 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,712 Oh, that dog is so precious. 57 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:55,203 Yes, there are times I could just squeeze him to death. 58 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,275 You know, 59 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,286 maybe he should be in the spot with you. 60 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,287 Eddie in a commercial? 61 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,288 Mm-hmm. 62 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,790 It's called a spot, Dad. 63 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:04,779 You look so perfect together. 64 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,793 He could just sit next to you on the couch. 65 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,794 Well... 66 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:08,795 I suppose there's no harm 67 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,797 in a little window dressing. 68 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,299 The director will love i t. I'll call him right now. 69 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,301 Oh, I don't believe it. 70 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,302 Eddie's first TV spot. 71 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,804 Oh, knock it off. 72 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,295 You didn't even know that term 'til ten seconds ago. 73 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:28,281 Hey, Fras. How'd the big shoot go? 74 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,782 Well, it went splendidly, Dad. 75 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,784 I thought you were going with Niles to the airport 76 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:33,219 to get Freddy. 77 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,821 Yeah, I decided to stay home and do some decorating. 78 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,323 Ah, yes, 79 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,814 the magical time of year when the Great Wall of China 80 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,795 and my apartment are the only two man-made structures 81 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:44,285 visible from space. 82 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,666 I must say I'm really excited 83 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,369 about seeing Freddy this trip. 84 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,666 Whatcha got planned? 85 00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,362 Oh, gosh, everything from whale watching to a trip 86 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:54,674 to the garlic festival. 87 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,539 (doorbell ringing) 88 00:02:58,411 --> 00:02:59,412 Niles, Daphne... 89 00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,414 Where's Frederick? 90 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:04,918 Actually, he insisted on taking his own elevator. 91 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:07,420 (chuckling): Oh, priceless. 92 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,421 Just when you're worried 93 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,423 that he's on the brink of terrible teendom, 94 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:11,925 there he is, still just a little boy 95 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,927 who wants to play in the elevator. 96 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,929 (laughing) 97 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:16,930 Hey, Dad. 98 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:17,919 There he is. 99 00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:19,921 (screams) 100 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,937 Nice greeting, Dad. 101 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,939 Freddy, why are you dressed like this? 102 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,429 w. He's a Goth no 103 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,345 You all don't have to treat me like I'm some kind of freak. 104 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,336 No, we're not, Freddy. 105 00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:37,350 It's great to see you. 106 00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:40,342 Maybe you could move up that trip to the garlic festival. 107 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:47,293 Listen, Frederick, I don 't understand. 108 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:51,297 Um, the Goths were plunderers. 109 00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:52,799 Apart from your tendency 110 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,790 to be overaggressive with your rooks at chess camp, 111 00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:56,791 I don't see the connection. 112 00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,305 It's just what I'm into now, okay? 113 00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:01,808 Me, my friend Andi... a bunch of us. 114 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,298 But if you don't get i t, you don't get it. 115 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:04,299 We get it. 116 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:05,812 It's wonderful. 117 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,302 FRASIER: I didn't mean anything by it. 118 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:08,303 I simply thought... 119 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:09,804 Oh, dear God! 120 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,421 Well, thank you, Lilith 121 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:18,791 for mentioning this little development. 122 00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,293 Oh, it's just a phase. 123 00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:21,594 All teenagers go through a rebellious period. 124 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,425 It always passes. 125 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,365 You should have seen me at that age. 126 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,368 Dating the older boys, hitchhiking, drinking, 127 00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,370 shoplifting... 128 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,669 Do you know I can carry a frozen turkey between my knees? 129 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,581 That'll come in handy 130 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:45,351 if we ever misplace our serving platter at Thanksgiving. 131 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:48,755 Hey, and didn't you tell m e you went streaking? 132 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,823 Well, I had shin splints at the time 133 00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:53,493 so it was really more of a brisk nude walk. 134 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,688 What did you do, Niles? 135 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,297 How did you rebel? 136 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,458 Oh, the usual ways. Thank you, Niles. 137 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,857 Like what? 138 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,870 Oh, like what? Well... uh... 139 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,464 Never happened, Niles. 140 00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:08,336 Your mother and I kept waiting for it. 141 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,035 I find it hard to believe that I never... 142 00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:14,447 Nope, nope. 143 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,549 You were one of those good kids. 144 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,518 One time I found a bag of something 145 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,020 that looked suspicious in your dresser, 146 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:22,522 but it turned out to be something 147 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,024 just to make your sweaters smell nice. 148 00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,526 Well, one time... 149 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:28,027 Face it, Niles. 150 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:29,529 You just didn't have it in you to be bad. 151 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:30,791 Well... 152 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:31,520 (gasps) 153 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:33,730 Freddy, hi. 154 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:35,435 Listen, I was thinking 155 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,637 maybe we could take in a movie tonight. 156 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:40,073 Can't, Dad. I made plans with my friend Andi. 157 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,508 Your friend Andi from school is here? 158 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,874 Yeah, visiting relatives. We're seeing a movie. 159 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:45,709 (doorbell rings) 160 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:47,401 But you just got here. 161 00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,716 We've got all week, okay? 162 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:50,705 Be cool. 163 00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:57,357 Hey. Hey. 164 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,551 Well, see ya. 165 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,092 Well, at least he's not dating outside the faith. 166 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,475 Excuse me, are you using this chair? 167 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,776 Wow. 168 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,745 Doesn't that's have a familiar ring to it. 169 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,446 The weary holiday traveler 170 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:23,108 and his pregnant wife seeking kindness from a stranger. 171 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:24,617 Frasier? 172 00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,619 I'm afraid I am, yes. So... 173 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:27,620 Hi, hi. Hello! 174 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,110 Hi, come and sit. Thank you. 175 00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:30,623 I'm so glad I ran into you. 176 00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,125 Oh! 177 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,626 Um, cappuccino to go, please. 178 00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:35,128 Oh... 179 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,630 The ad agency loves the spot. 180 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,619 Oh! 181 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,123 Apparently, they got quite creative with it. 182 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,136 I'll messenger you a copy. 183 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,137 Oh, that's wonderful news. 184 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,139 Listen, I realize you're dashing off, 185 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:49,597 but do you think we could celebrate tonight over a drink? 186 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:54,447 Sure. How about, uh... 7:00 at Garagiste? 187 00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,106 Could you say that again? 188 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,573 Garagiste. You don't know it? 189 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,085 Oh, yes, I do. I just love hearing you say it. 190 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,086 (laughing) 191 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,087 Oh, Thank you. 192 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,089 Let me get that for you. Thank you. 193 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,090 I'll see you then. 194 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,592 Yes, take care. 195 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,082 Hello. Hello. 196 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,099 Well, that was a yummy little stocking stuffer. 197 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,101 Yes. She's the one I told you about; 198 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,103 the girl with the accent. 199 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,604 Oh, yes. 200 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,106 God, she could read me the phone book 201 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,108 and I would melt like an overripe Camembert. 202 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,598 Imagine what she would do with that-- 203 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,112 (with accent) : Camembert. 204 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,113 R-R-R-Roquefort. 205 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,614 Reblochon. 206 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,605 Blu. 207 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,119 We're terrible! 208 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,121 (laughs) 209 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,622 Well, at least it will be nice 210 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,124 to have something to do this evening, for a change. 211 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,113 Yes. 212 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,115 Is Frederick still spending all his time 213 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,117 with his little ghoul-friend? Yes. 214 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,632 They're going to a concert this evening. 215 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,934 Of course, I don't begrudge him a social life. 216 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,936 It's just that I feel so rejected. Mm. 217 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,638 You know, when one has something they'd clearly rather do 218 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,639 than spend time with you, 219 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:54,640 it just feels like... 220 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,109 What the hell are you doing? 221 00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,599 I'm sorry. I'm waiting for someone. 222 00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,012 Who? 223 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:04,016 Well, it really bothered me 224 00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,018 when Dad said that I never rebelled. 225 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:08,020 I mean, I've been obsessing about it. 226 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,011 What kind of self-respecting psychiatrist-- 227 00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:12,024 not to mention father-to-be-- 228 00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:15,528 completely misses one of life' prime rites of passage? 229 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,019 So, I've decided to rebel tonight. 230 00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,035 Right under Dad's nose. 231 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:24,537 How? 232 00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,538 You ready? Yes. 233 00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,240 You sure? Positive. 234 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,174 Move your coffee it might... Niles! 235 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,567 . I'm getting high on reefer 236 00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:39,986 What? 237 00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,688 I've waited for this all my life, Frasier-- 238 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:45,691 one act of utter, devil-may-care, 239 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,694 crotch-grabbing brazenness. 240 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,696 And, of course, I'll have a nurse on speed dial 241 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,698 in case things get too hairy. 242 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,700 And exactly which of your connections 243 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,003 in the Seattle demimonde is going to get you this reefer? 244 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,704 Okay, Niles, you're hooked up. 245 00:08:58,704 --> 00:08:59,693 Well, oh... 246 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,011 Just take a look. 247 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:08,014 Ah, yes, thick and gooey. 248 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,683 Ganja in its purest form. 249 00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,652 It's a pot brownie , you idiot. 250 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,656 My neighbor makes them. Oh. 251 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:17,645 (car alarm blares) 252 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:18,958 Damn it. 253 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:19,959 My car alarm again. 254 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:20,960 I'll be right back. 255 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:21,961 Wait! But, Niles... 256 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,663 I can'twait. I got a date. 257 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,665 You're not leaving that thing with me. 258 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,654 Oh, come on, Frasier, just give it to Niles. 259 00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,668 No, no, no, I refuse. 260 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:29,969 Stop that. Stop that. It is illegal. 261 00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:32,672 I will have nothing to do with it, for God's sakes. 262 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,674 What do you take me for, some kind of common drug mule? 263 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,976 Mule is one word for it. 264 00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:37,977 Hi, Dad. How are you doing? 265 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,979 I'll see you back at home. All right. 266 00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:41,681 Hey, Martin. Hi, how you doing, Roz? 267 00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:42,982 Good. How are the holidays treating you? 268 00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,684 Cookie? 269 00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:47,676 Oh, no, just trying to stay away from things that are bad for me. 270 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:49,989 Well, that's where you and I are different. 271 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,991 Can you give this to Niles? He'll be right back. 272 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:52,980 Yeah, sure. 273 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,990 Uh, coffee to go, please. 274 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:07,969 (sighs) 275 00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,981 Mmm... mmm. 276 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,982 Mmm... mmm. 277 00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:40,695 (muffled): Could I have a brownie, please? 278 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,014 Hey, Dad. 279 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,716 Oh, hey, Niles, um, uh... 280 00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,013 Roz wanted me to give you this. 281 00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,016 Thank you. 282 00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,724 Hey, uh, you going to be home tonight? 283 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,726 Yeah, I'm walking home right now. Oh, good. 284 00:11:00,726 --> 00:11:03,024 I'll see you there . Have a nice trip. 285 00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:04,730 You, too. 286 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,732 Oh, I will. 287 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:09,030 (chuckles) 288 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,729 (gasping) 289 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:21,881 Hi, Dad. 290 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,212 Hey, Freddy. 291 00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:25,718 Oh, Andi. 292 00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:26,776 How was the mall? 293 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:28,044 Boring. 294 00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,723 Except when that fat kid threw up in Santa's beard. 295 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,884 That was goth. 296 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,862 Oh, the doorman had this for you. 297 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,365 Oh, this must be my tourism promo. 298 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,366 I'll tell you what 299 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,867 Why don't we have a look at it? 300 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,097 I just came to get a jacket. We're going to the concert. 301 00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,404 Oh, come on, Freddy. 302 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,406 You can spare a couple minutes to check out 303 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:48,908 your old man's debut as a spokesman. 304 00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:51,777 All right, where is that thing? Here we go 305 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,109 (Frasier's voice): Anybody want to go for a walk? 306 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:55,872 Then why not come to Seattle? 307 00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,116 Oh, dear God. 308 00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,050 Where else can you see... an ocean wave... 309 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,455 a fish fly, a mountain peak... 310 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,790 and the world's largest needle ? . 311 00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,059 Come to Seattle. 312 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,924 Let's go for a walk. 313 00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:12,898 That is so goth. 314 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,067 It is not goth! 315 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:16,432 It's outrageous. 316 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:19,872 It's like some hideous Frankenstein hybrid of me 317 00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,066 and that no-talent dog. 318 00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:22,465 Let's go. 319 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:23,806 By the way, I'm staying at Andi's tonight. 320 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,010 What? 321 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:25,778 At her uncle's. 322 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,507 We have plans all day tomorrow. 323 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,115 I'm sorry, Frederick. You're not staying anywhere. 324 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,104 until I hear from her uncle first. 325 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,084 Oh, my God! 326 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,847 I'm sorry, but that is the rule. 327 00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,087 Dad! 328 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,783 I'll meet you downstairs. 329 00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:41,985 Do you know how much you're embarrassing me? 330 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:43,329 What's your problem? 331 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,887 My problem is that you've 332 00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,866 hardly spent one minute here since you arrived. 333 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,026 Now you tell you have plans all day tomorrow. 334 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,268 You're really making me want to spend time with you now. 335 00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,038 I'd like to know when you're going to be home 336 00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,373 Tomorrow, okay? 337 00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:56,375 I'll have her uncle call you. 338 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,866 I never should have come here in the first place. 339 00:12:59,178 --> 00:12:59,974 NILES: Freddy. 340 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,143 Hey. 341 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:06,152 Hey, Frasier. 342 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,143 What's up? 343 00:13:08,854 --> 00:13:11,846 Just another joyous holiday moment with my son 344 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,853 to be pasted into my scrapbook. 345 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,127 Ah. 346 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,830 Aren't you going to ask me what's up? 347 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,127 Didn't intend to, no. 348 00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,001 I'd like you to. 349 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,003 All right. What's up? 350 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,372 I am. 351 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:29,375 I'm as high as the Himalayas! 352 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,366 If I were a city in Germany, I'd be Heidelberg! 353 00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:32,935 Is Dad home yet? 354 00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:34,246 No. 355 00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:37,249 I'll use this opportunity to up my dosage. 356 00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:40,241 Oh, Niles! 357 00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:42,188 You realize this is illegal? 358 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:44,890 Did you actually drive yourself here? 359 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,517 I'm a little too toasted for that, Frasier. 360 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,527 No, the minute I knew 361 00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,586 I was getting baked tonight, I called a cab. 362 00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,098 And I printed my name and address on a card 363 00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:55,100 in my pocket in case I'm still too crispy 364 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,364 to speak to the cab driver taking me home. 365 00:13:57,636 --> 00:13:59,905 I judge by all this rich terminology 366 00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:01,974 that you've done some research? 367 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,568 Yes, I know all the symptoms I can expect to experience. 368 00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:06,545 I'm especially looking forward 369 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,536 to something called the "munchies" stage. 370 00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,550 It's where one enjoys bizarre food combinations. 371 00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:12,915 I'm thinking of pairing 372 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:16,952 this Chilean sea bass with an aggressive zinfandel. 373 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,391 And this is all to prove a point to Dad? 374 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,262 To Dad and for myself. 375 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,264 Don't I have a right just once 376 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,960 to sip the sweet nectar of rebellion? 377 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,134 (keys jingling in lock) 378 00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:30,927 (Martin laughing) 379 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,910 I've got to go put a jacket on for my date. 380 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:43,415 Why don't you see if you can help Dad at the door? 381 00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:44,905 (laughing continues) 382 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,422 Hi, Niles. 383 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:51,411 Funny you should say that. 384 00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:52,958 Yeah, it is! 385 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,949 (both laughing) 386 00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:01,934 Hey, hey, Niles, let me ask you something. 387 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,925 Do you ever feel like you'd just like to go straight? 388 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:05,437 What? 389 00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:06,927 I was walking home 390 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:10,442 and I kept thinking about all the turns we have to make. 391 00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:13,934 Right turn, left turn. 392 00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:16,949 How much easier it'd be if we just could go straight 393 00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:17,950 over the trees, 394 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:20,441 over a building. 395 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,356 That's what a giant would do. 396 00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:28,360 They should let everybody be a giant for a day. 397 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,055 (both laughing) 398 00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:39,065 If you had any idea how strange you seem to me right now. 399 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:44,365 Why is everybody saying that to me? 400 00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:47,375 By the way, you are welcome. 401 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,381 Oh... For what? 402 00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:51,283 For turning you on 403 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,286 to the best thing you will ever eat: 404 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:58,290 Barbecue pudding chips. 405 00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,518 No, thanks. 406 00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,360 They looked at me funny in the store, too, 407 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,352 . but you taste that and tell me that's not better than a woman 408 00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:11,570 Do you mind? 409 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,639 Oh, I see. 410 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,140 , Now you're such a big star 411 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,643 that the whole world has to revolve around you. 412 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:18,644 Fine. 413 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,646 I'll tell you what. 414 00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,048 You just gloat all you like. 415 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,073 This is not over between us. 416 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,354 Why am I putting these chips in this pudding? 417 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,055 Well, I was going to say. 418 00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,057 I should be dumping the pudding 419 00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,046 in with the chips. 420 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,554 I've been having these great ideas all day. 421 00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,065 I wrote some of them down. 422 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,067 Here. 423 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,570 What do you think this means? 424 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:48,131 "Dog army. " 425 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:54,079 Oh, that cold medicine I took this morning 426 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,381 is making me feel funny. 427 00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,383 I think I'm going to go sit down for a while. 428 00:16:57,383 --> 00:16:59,078 Whatever. 429 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:08,794 Ah... 430 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,352 Anybody want to go for a walk? 431 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,434 Sweet mother! 432 00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:18,404 Where else can you see an ocean wave... 433 00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:19,393 a fish fly... 434 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:20,400 a mountain peak... 435 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,433 and the world's largest needle 436 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,711 Come to Seattle. 437 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,542 Let's go for a walk. 438 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,145 Eddie? 439 00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,784 FRASIER: I know what you're doing. 440 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,218 You're sitting there thinking you're the king. 441 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,187 Well, you're not. 442 00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:37,280 Niles?! 443 00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,761 All right, I'm off to my date. 444 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,626 Oh, for heaven's sake. 445 00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:46,331 Niles, that knife is as sharp as a machete. 446 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,333 You should not not be chopping with it in your condition. 447 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,324 Do that for him, will you, Dad? 448 00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:59,478 I've come dangerously close to over-braising my chard. 449 00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,613 It's almost as if 450 00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:04,216 something dulled my motor skills. 451 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,784 You sure you don't want a little of this on the side? 452 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:07,786 I can scoop around the Lucky Charms. 453 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,789 No, thanks. 454 00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:12,518 You know me, Dad. 455 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,327 I'm not much of a rebel. 456 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:18,763 Too much of a Goody Two-shoes. 457 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,492 Hi, Frasier. 458 00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:26,672 p. MARTIN: But you've got to open your mind u 459 00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,540 That's where all the great inventions come from. 460 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:31,100 Like, it used to be people would eat too much, 461 00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,412 their pants would get tight-- big problem. 462 00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,676 Then one day, 463 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,383 somebody said, "Wait a minute. 464 00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:40,874 Why not put elastic in them?" 465 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:48,381 Hi, Fras. 466 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,761 Dad, where are your pants? 467 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,224 In the fridge. 468 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,171 I had a reason. 469 00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,469 "Fridge pants. " 470 00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,178 Dad, when you were at the cafe today, 471 00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:07,479 you didn't eat a brownie 472 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,470 that Roz brought for Niles, did you? 473 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:11,483 Yeah, but I replaced it. 474 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,185 For God's sake! 475 00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:15,915 That was a pot brownie. You're stoned off your ass! 476 00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:22,484 Well, someone must feel pretty out of it 477 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,465 being the only one here who isn't completely burnt 478 00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,267 Oh, knock it off, you imbecile. 479 00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,201 You're as sober as I am. 480 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,571 I knew I was feeling woozy. 481 00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:33,560 I thought it was that cold medicine 482 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:34,568 I took this morning. 483 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:35,941 It's all right, Dad. 484 00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:37,738 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 485 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,244 Dad, are you all right? 486 00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,246 Yeah, I'll be fine, 487 00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:43,248 but I better go lie down before it really hits me. 488 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,750 Come on, boy. 489 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,251 I'll be in the re in a minute to check on you. 490 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,242 Oh, suit yourself, Eddie. 491 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:59,331 Didn't it occur to you that he was behaving strangely? 492 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:00,199 I thought it was me. 493 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,700 I thought it was the Mary Jane talking. 494 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,001 Oh, Niles, please, 495 00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:04,969 will you drop the drug lingo? 496 00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:07,396 Frasier, I feel terrible. 497 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:08,874 Yes, well, at least 498 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,376 you had a better night than I did. 499 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,879 Halfway through our date, Natalie got a phone call. 500 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,380 An emergency at home. 501 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,642 (chuckles ruefully) 502 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:19,451 I decided to take a little walk. 503 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,442 20 minutes later I saw her 504 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,445 in a different bar with another man. 505 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,825 There was no emergency? 506 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,827 Not unless he had an infected earlobe 507 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:31,387 which required an immediate tongue-flicking. 508 00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,234 It's beena hell of a Christmas. 509 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,225 I'm so sorry, Frasier. 510 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:38,537 Truth be told, 511 00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,526 I'm most disappointed 512 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,230 about how things turned with Frederick. 513 00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,236 I've just felt us drifting apart lately, 514 00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:46,306 and I was hoping that... 515 00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:49,679 we could bond again on this trip. 516 00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:51,883 You may have given him a wonderful gift 517 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:54,545 just by letting him rebel against you. 518 00:20:56,288 --> 00:21:01,360 Something which I am obviously completely incapable of achieving. 519 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,861 I'm going home. 520 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,730 You're a good man, Niles. 521 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:09,292 In a way, isn't that rebelling against rebellion? 522 00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:11,297 Nice try. 523 00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:15,607 All right, look at it this way. 524 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,371 You did get our cop father stoned tonight. 525 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:22,669 I did, didn't I? Yeah. 526 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:30,310 Hmm. 527 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,614 Oh, madness! 528 00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:38,357 Frederick. 529 00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:39,898 Hey. 530 00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:41,456 What are you doing home? I thought you were spending 531 00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:42,422 s. the night at Andi' 532 00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:43,923 I changed my mind. Good night. 533 00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:47,439 Did something happen at the concert? 534 00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:48,804 No. 535 00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:51,343 Are you sure? 536 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:55,347 I can't help noticing your mascara's run a little. 537 00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:59,647 Andi ran into a "friend" from her old school. 538 00:22:00,118 --> 00:22:01,653 Ah. 539 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:04,423 Another boy. 540 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,625 She hardly talked to me the whole night. 541 00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:11,363 I'm sorry, son. These things happen. 542 00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:13,365 Well, they always stink. 543 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:15,060 Did it ever happen to you, Dad? 544 00:22:16,935 --> 00:22:18,926 It may have. 545 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:20,439 Tell you what. 546 00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:21,940 You know, I've got a box 547 00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:23,942 of that cereal you used to like. 548 00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:25,933 What do you say I pour us a bowl 549 00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:28,947 and I'll tell you a story or two. 550 00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:30,449 It's happened to you more than once? 551 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:32,440 (chuckles) 552 00:22:32,951 --> 00:22:37,411 I'll pour you a big bowl.