Which not only helps in the healing process,
but also provides one with the confidence to go forward
in spite of the fear this kind of trauma can cause.
Honestly, I can't say enough
about these new medicated bandage strips.
But thanks for asking, Jordan.
Up next is the stock market report with Julia Wilcox.
(knocking)
Hello, Avery. Impeccable timing.
Good to see you, Frasier.
Yes, hello.
Ooh, careful, careful, careful.
Paper cut.
Yes, I caught the last half hour of your show.
Oh, Roz, come and meet an old friend of mine- -
Avery McManus.
This is Roz Doyle, my producer.
Lovely to meet you.
Same here.
Avery and I used to live
across the hall from each other back at Oxford.
Now he lives in Seattle.
A very accomplished accountant
who's going to take me on as a client.
Well, my taxes could use some serious doing.
FRASIER: Roz, he's married.
I'll tell you what:
I'll be back in about an hour go over this month's "Best Of."
Oh, I don't think an hour
is going to be long enough, Frasier.
Your finances are a mess.
Your spending's out of control .
Well, that's impossible.
I'm very prudent.
Then what about this $9,000 caviar bill for last month?
And what's with you and wine?
I had to take on an associate
just to go through your sherry receipts.
And then... Gosh, you know
I've completely forgotten myself.
How is Amanda?
I don't believe I've seen her since the wedding.
Amanda's great. She made partner.
Oh.
Okay, everybody,
I'm a Pathetic Loser Show is over.
My listeners are not pathetic losers.
I wasn't referring to your listeners.
You're Julia Wilcox.
Yes, I am.
You wrote,Practical Applications of Econometrics.
Yes, I did.
I love that book.
Avery McManus.
Oh, it's a pleasure to meet a fan, Avery.
A fan is someone who enjoys your work.
Yes. And do you know what they call someone
who can't stand your work?
In your case, the public.
She was supposed to say "what?"
And I was going to say "me."
Oh, come on, let's get out of here.
Ow! How come you only rub where it hurts?
Your sons hired me to torture you, so that's what I'm doing.
Ow! Oh, Eddie,
Daddy's in trouble. Sic her.
Okay, all done, old man.
And I hope you got your griping out of your system
because I need you to be
on your best behavior next time Why?
Because the agency won't assign me any new clients
until an evaluator observes me at work.
Oh, geez, I don't want to go on display like some trained seal.
Please?
I'll give you some treats.
Treats, huh?
Okay.
Hey, Fras. How was your trip to the accountant?
Fine.
Fine. Uh... why are all these lights on?
All right, I'll be honest with you.
Avery had some very stern warnings for me.
The situation isn't dire, but it...
it could become serious if I don't change my ways.
Well, that doesn't sound too tough.
You could get balcony seats at the opera.
And stop throwing away your change.
Oh, that was one time.
And if you had seen that cashier's fingernails
you'd have done the same thing
All right, the point is, I just have to come up with a plan.
A plan... Perhaps a ruminative latte
What? You just had a whole new espresso machin
shipped here from Italy.
Yes, well, I'm waiting for the cups
Besides, Nervosa is more to me than just a place for coffee.
It's my refuge, my... my sanctuary for contemplation.
Oh... oh... I've just had a cost-saving idea.
Daphne, you're family now,
and yet I still pay you full-price for Dad's therapy
All right, I'll keep thinking. Off I go.
This happens every time you hire a new accountant.
You let their fear get to you.
But remember, it's Avery's job to worry about your finances,
not yours.
Yes, of course it is, of course it is.
He's the professional.
Thanks so much, Niles.
That's really quite helpful.
I feel better now.
Excuse me, change my shortbread order
to a tarte tatin.
And one for my brother, please; a la mode.
He's back.
(amplified guitar plays)
You ready for so me more music, Seattle?
(cheers and applause)
Great.
(music stops)
(all groan)
I quite agree.
I am sorry, young man.
If we wanted to hear your music,
we would attend one of your concerts
in the bus station.
Well, people seem to like it.
Here they clap along,
and it's been enough
to keep me out of the three-piece-cage.
The what?
The suit, man, the suit.
Excuse me, is there a problem?
Well, yes, as a matt er of fact there is.
This man is making it impossible for me
to converse with my brother.
I think he's great.
Ah...
I understand.
You two are friends.
Perhaps you used to gig together in your salad days.
But, if you wish to alter
the atmosphere of this cafe,
I suggest you consult with the owner.
I am the owner. Oh, really?
Well, I'm Frasier Crane. It's a pleasure.
Maureen Nervosa.
Really?
Well, I happen to be
one of your core customers, Miss Nervosa.
In fact, I spend over $3,000 a year here
Which I just found out today.
NILES: Frasier...
people are starting to stare.
Let's just come back tomorrow afternoon
when the cafe's quieter.
Actually, Ben will be playing afternoons from now on
Really? Well, you know, I... I would think about that.
I mean, although we do adore your establishment,
if there is one thing we can find in Seattle
it is another coffee shop.
Yeah, but not many of them
will let you change in the men's room.
Now, I don't relish
the idea of asking you this,
but I'm afraid you will have to choose...
I choose Ben.
I see.
Well...
Farewell, Nervosa.
It's been a splendid decade,
but I'm afraid your brew has become a bit too bold
for my brother and me.
Come, Niles, let's go.
But I don't want to go.
Nervosa is my haven, my cocoon.
BEN: This next one's called "The Wild Rover."
(strums guitar)
(applause)
♪♪ I'’’ve been a wild rover for many a year ♪♪
♪♪ And I spent all me money on whiskey and beer ♪♪
♪♪ And now I'’’m returning ♪♪
♪♪ With gold in great store♪♪
♪♪ I never will play the wild rover no more ♪♪
♪♪ And it's no, nay, never♪♪
♪♪ No, nay, never no more... ♪♪
My name is Frasier.
This is my brother Niles.
We're thinking of making this our regular haunt.
Way to go.
We'll have two espressos, please.
I'm sorry, and your name is?
Steve.
Steven. Outstanding.
Just Steve.
Steve.
I look forward to years of this sort of lively banter
They found a way to bring the charm of an airport
to a midtown location.
Now, Niles, let's try to be positive
This may be our new home.
Yes. This will do nicely.
This will be our regular table.
And that will be our backup regular table.
Oh, perhaps we should keep looking.
Hello, Julia.
Hello, Frasier.
Wow. Who's this, your stunt double?
This is my brother Niles.
Niles, I'd like you to meet my colleague Julia Wilcox.
How do you do?
Oh, that's very good, Frasier.
I didn't even see your lips move.
So I thought you always go to Nervosa.
Well, sadly, no more.
They've hired a terribly annoying folksinger,
whose hideous noisemaking
has made it impossible for me to enjoy my one sanctuary.
I didn't ask for your life story.
Steve, I'm afraid we'll taking these to go, thank you.
Glad to hear it.
Good-bye, Frasier.
Good-bye, Emergency Frasier.
I don't like her.
I don't like her cafe anymore.
Let's go. Ah, thank you, Steve.
I'm sorry to have to tell you this,
but I'm afraid my brother and I
will not be the everyday stalwarts
I'd predicted we'd be.
Damn.
Every time I open my heart
You know, Avery was always a bit of a playboy.
But, honestly, I thought marriage would settle him down.
I should just tell Julia that he's married.
Then again, she's been so rude to me
Why should I do something nice for her?
But, then again, can I just stand idly by
and keep my mouth shut?
I can answer that one.
Doesn't he wear a ring? No.
But I know he has one.
I was at the wedding.
Dad, you see I'm facing a perplexing dilemma here.
Some guidance would be welcome.
No, it wouldn't.
You always ask for my opinion and then completely ignore it.
Well, this time, while I've got the floor
I'm going to talk about what I want to talk about:
NBA referees need to enforce the traveling rule.
It's dribble, one step, shoot.
Not dribble, step, step, step, step, shoot.
Thank you.
That was very helpful.
I guess I'll just do what I always do:
sort through this myself.
All right, I'm off to Nervosa.
No, I'm off to that other place where young Steve works.
that's Avery and Julia's place.
Well, I hope you're both satisfied.
Now I don't know where the hell I'm going
I'm hashing over an ethical dilemma
so I think I could use some black coffee.
What size would you like?
Um... I've got a lot to ponder, so I think a large.
I'm afraid we don't have large, sir
We have piccolo, macho, mucho, and mucho macho.
I see. Uh...
Do you happen to know what size
would correspond to a Nervosa grande?
No. But our mucho is about the same as the semi-colossal
over at Don't Spill The Beans.
Ah, ah...
all right, I know that their colossal
is comparable to a Nervosa grande,
so the semi-colossal would be three-quarters of a colossal.
So the...
mucho and the semi-colossal would be equivalent,
so I should have the mucho macho.
But only fill it five-eighths.
Yes, sir.
For 50 cents extra, we can pre-heat the vessel.
No. Can we just move this along, please?
I understand completely.
Your zip code, sir?
(whispering): You don't have to give your real zip if you don't want to.
Then what's the point?
It unlocks the cash register.
Put in whatever code you wish.
Here we are.
Now, I'd just like a cup of coffee
and a quiet place to drink it.
Can do, sir.
Okay, here's your change.
You're number four.
I'll bring it to your beanbag.
Now, you have a bullet
lodged in your hip, correct?
Do I?
Oh! That's right, I do.
Sometimes I forget, the way Daphne takes care of me.
She's the best.
All right.
And how would you rate your level of comfort during therapy?
Oh, I don't think you could come up with a number high enough,
so I'll just say... 30.
(phone ringing)
Sorry.
Oh, it's my nanny.
Well, not my nanny.
Wouldn't that be something?
Do you mind?
No. Please go ahead.
Hi.
What are you doing?
What do you think?
I'm making you look good.
Yeah? Well, stop it.
My work speaks for itself.
Oh, Daphne, I love you,
but sometimes you can be so naive.
Sure, you're good at the job
but you need a little salesmanship.
That's why I'm here.
If you so much as...
Sorry about that.
Suzie got stuck in the laundry chute again.
Oh, poor thing
How old is she?
What's the difference?
After tomorrow, she's not our nanny anymore.
All right. Shall we begin, Martin?
Are you kidding?
This is my favorite part of the day.
(groans)
Whenever you're ready, Daphne.
First I like to start
with some simple range of motion exercises
to warm up the muscles.
Oh! Am I on a cloud?
'Cause that's how it feels, like I'm on a cloud.
Then some strokes around the flexor,
smoothing out any knots.
Do you feel any discomfort, Martin?
Discomfort?
Try disbelief.
I don't know how she does it
You know, physical therapy shouldn't be a pleasure trip
It is challenging, healing work.
You really need to be digging into the muscles there, Daphne.
Yeah.
Let me show you.
Ah!
That's digging, all right.
Oh, it's not so bad.
I think you've just been pampered a little too long, huh?
Whoa!
That is the sound of progress.
You think you can work like this?
Watch me.
(cracks knuckles)
(whines)
You can stop checking the door.
Frasier swore he'd never come back here.
I'm not worried about him.
Yes, we do have a pact to boycott Nervosa,
but I only came in here because I saw you sitting alone,
and I thought you needed company
Are you ready for some more music?!
ALL: Yeah!
Oh, fudge. Time to go.
Why don't you like Ben?
He's really nice.
He was selling his CDs outside.
I got Abbey Road and the soundtrack from Grease.
I'm going to need a little bit
of help with this one.
What about you, sir? What about you?
Can you keep a steady beat for me?
Sorry, no.
What do you think, Nervosa, is he the man for the job?
(all cheer)
That's-that's...
He doesn't really think you mean it!
Go!
If I do this, will you take a break?
Yeah, I love breaks, yeah.
He says, "Yes"!
(cheering)
I'm sorry. Are you going to stick with that 4/4 tempo?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you call that sort of an andante feeling?
Just shake it, okay?
♪ ♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down, sport ♪
♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down ♪♪
♪ ♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down, sport ♪
♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down ♪♪
♪ ♪♪ Watch me wallaby feed, mate ♪
♪ ♪♪ Watch me wallaby feed ♪
♪♪ It's a dangerous breed, mate ♪♪
♪ ♪♪ Watch me wallaby feed ♪
All together now.
♪ ♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down, sport ♪
♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down ♪♪
♪ ♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down, sport ♪
♪♪ Tie me kangaroo down ♪♪
Egg solo!
Niles!
(music stops)
Oh, don't you run, you coward!
I'll be right back.
By the way, ten dollars
is still the best price for Quadrophenia!
Well, well, look who's here.
I thought you were Nervosa non grata.
I had no place else to go.
Would you like your usual?
More than you could possibly know.
This is a song that I wrote
about doing the right thing.
Oh, Lord.
I'm going to need that to go
I think we always know in our hearts
what the right thing is,
but we don't always have the courage to do it.
In my case
I knew this guy
what was playing around with a woman.
But what she didn't know was he already had a girlfriend.
Anyway, I was the only one what knew the facts,
but what was I to do?
Tell the guy to back off?
Tell the girl that s he was dating a sleaze?
So I thought and I thought, and here's what I done.
(snapping sound)
Oh, what a drag. I broke a string.
Anyway, I'll be back in a moment.
Excuse me. Excuse me. What?
What happened?
What?
In the song, what happened?
I have to think all the way through it.
Eh, eh...
"I knew a guy who had a wandering eye..."
Yes, yes, we know that part.
What next?
"He met a lady, he told her a lie."
Right, right. And then?
Chorus... repeat chorus.
The end! How did it end?!
♪♪ San Antonio blues! ♪♪
(pounding on door) I said I'm coming!
Frasier, what can I do for you?
Avery, we need to talk.
I'm a little busy at the moment.
I'm sorry. It can't wait.
I know about you and Julia Wilcox.
I have no idea what... Oh, stop that!
You are a married man.
I realize this may be fun and games to you,
but she could get hurt.
This is really not a good time.
And why the hell not?
JULIA: Because I'm in the closet.
Uh... I had no idea.
I didn't mean for you to overhear... What?
That Avery's married?
I already know.
You do?
We're having an affair, you idiot.
Oh.
Well, I'm sorry.
I thought I was helping you.
Are you finished helping yet?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
I am also finished thinking that you and I owe each other
the loyalty of professional kinship.
From this day forward, we are merely coworkers,
cut-and-dried.
And as for you,
I am deducting my mileage here as a business expense!
Unbelievable.
Are you all right?
Yeah. Yeah, he was just trying to help
in his own heavy-handed way.
He was always trying to be the hero.
You know, one night, back at Oxford,
he crawled out onto a ledge
to rescue what turned out to be a gargoyle.
(both chuckle)
(phone rings)
Ah! It's my wife.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Hello, darling.
I miss you, too.
Uh... not long.
When does the alleged music start?
It doesn't. Ben quit.
Really? Why?
Well, well.
That's quite a sharp-looking three-piece cage.
What happened?
Well, you know, I don't really know.
Some little blond doxy came in here
and hooked me up with a job
at the Pelham Bay Bank.
Have you got my check, old man?
In the back.
Would you like that for here or to go?
For here. I'm staying.
Congratulations, Frasier.
You got your cafe back.
Whatever.
Say, Julia, wait.
Didn't you used to be on the board
of the Pelham Bay Bank?
Want to know my bio?
Go to my website.
♪♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-calling ♪ ♪
♪♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, my ♪♪
♪♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪♪
♪♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪♪
(laughs)
♪♪ But I don'’’t know what to do ♪♪
♪♪ With those tossed salad s and scrambled eggs ♪♪
♪♪ They'’’re calling again . ♪♪
Good night, everybody!