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Welcome back, Seattle.
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Thank you for joining
us in celebrating this,
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our 2,000th show.
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-Hard to believe, isn't it, Roz?
-No, that feels just about right.
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Ah, yes, well, what a festive day this is.
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No stop has been unpulled.
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I would like to take this opportunity
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to acknowledge the
anniversary luncheon spread
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provided by our friends
at Señor José Phong,
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home of the sweet and sour taco.
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And don't forget, a little later,
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we'll have Microsoft Chairman
Bill Gates live in studio
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to congratulate me on my 2,000th show.
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Apparently, I hear through the grapevine,
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he is a big fan.
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[LAUGHS]
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Roz, what do we have next?
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It's time for another blooper.
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Oh, well, I believe
we're up to number four
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as voted by you, the listeners.
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Here's what happened
when a certain producer
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didn't realize her microphone
was on during the show.
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[LAUGHS]
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ROZ [ON RADIO]: Now
what the [BLEEP] is this?
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You call this a [BLEEP] paycheck?
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How the [BLEEP] am I
supposed to live on this [BLEEP]
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I'm gonna have a little word with
that [BLEEP] damn station manager
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walking around here like he
owns the mother [BLEEP] place.
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I can't believe that
wasn't voted number one.
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Oh, ha, ladies and gentlemen,
it's our station manager,
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KACL's own Kenny Daly. Ha, ha.
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Listen, Doc, I got a special someone
out there who'd like to say hello.
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By all means, let's bring him in, Kenny.
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Ladies and gentlemen, our
special guest has finally arrived.
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Please welcome…
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[BARKS]
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[AIR HORN BLOWS]
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-Bulldog?
-Great to see you, Doc. Hey, Roz.
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FRASIER: Well, ladies and gentlemen,
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it's our old friend and former
colleague, Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe.
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Thanks for coming to
celebrate my 2,000th show.
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Yeah, yeah, congrats.
Didn't think you'd last two weeks.
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Listen up, sports fans, Bulldog here.
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I know what you're all thinking:
Bulldog's been gone too long.
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How can you get me back on the air?
Okay, listen up.
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You send your cards and letters
of support to Kenny Daly, KACL…
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Hold on, hold on, Bulldog!
Our special guest has arrived.
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-PO Box 451, Seattle…
-Bulldog!
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Would you and your noisemaker
please wait in Roz's booth?
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-This is an air horn, Doc.
-Yes, I was referring
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to that flapping hole above your chin.
Now get out!
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Ladies and gentlemen, let's please welcome
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Microsoft Chairman, Bill Gates.
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Ha, ha. Good to see you, sir.
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-Sorry I was late.
-Oh, that's all right.
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-I was just talking to an old friend.
-Yes, ha, ha.
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Well, I've…
I've got so many questions to ask you.
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Uh, why don't we just dive right in?
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I've been wondering,
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when did you first
become a fan of my show?
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Excuse me.
Warren from Kirkland is on line two.
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Ye… Yes, Roz. I won't be taking
any calls until after Mr. Gates has left.
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-Actually, it's for Mr. Gates.
-FRASIER: Well, um…
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Go ahead, caller.
You're on with Mister Bill Gates.
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WARREN [ON PHONE]: Yeah, hi, Mr. Gates.
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I bought your new Windows XP program,
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and I'm about to install
it, but it's an upgrade.
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-Do I need to make a boot disk?
-That's a very good question.
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You don't need to make a boot disk.
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You just put the CD in, and it'll upgrade.
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I hope that answers your question.
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That's a feature of XP,
very quick, very smooth.
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-Hey, this is fun.
-FRASIER: Ah.
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Thank you for calling, Warren.
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Now, where were we?
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Can Mr. Gates take a few more calls?
The board is lighting up. Wow.
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Who knew we had a line seven?
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Uh, Roz, I believe
Mr. Gates is probably anxious
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-to get on with the interview.
-No, no, I'm… I'm happy to.
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Very well.
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Go ahead, caller.
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WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Wow, Bill Gates.
This is so cool.
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Thank you.
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WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Hey, I have a question
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about Multilingual User Interface add-ons.
What are those?
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GATES: Well, the Multilingual add-ons
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let you run Windows in different
languages. You can use it in German…
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Do you believe this egomaniacal gasbag?
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He's taking over my show.
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Don't you think you're
exaggerating just a bit?
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Who do we have next, Roz?
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We have Bob from Fremont.
He has a question about his laptop.
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Go ahead, Bob.
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I'm listening.
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[SIGHS]
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[CHUCKLES]
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Two thousand shows, ha-ha-ha.
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NILES: Hurry up, Frasier,
we're gonna miss the reservation.
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Yeah, I'll be right there.
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[HUMMING]
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[GASPS]
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Two thousand shows.
That's quite a milestone.
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It is.
Can anyone tell me what happened today?
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I forgot to listen.
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I just listened for five minutes
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in case he asked me
what my favorite part was.
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I just say the call from Tacoma.
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There's bound to be a call from Tacoma.
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Excuse me.
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Could I see all of you
in my room for just a jiff?
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-Come on, I'm hungry.
-I know. I am too.
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FRASIER: Okay, are we all here?
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-Good.
-What's wrong?
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Something is amiss.
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I'll say.
I always thought that was a sweater cubby.
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Well, it's not.
This is a collection of all my shows.
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I was just examining my collection
when I realized that someone
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had placed one of my tapes
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upside down.
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[MARTIN GASPS]
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What kind of sick, twisted…
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Well, turn it right-side
up and let's go eat.
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-You probably did it yourself.
-All right, conceivably.
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But I guarantee you, I would never
have removed my tape from the case
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and replaced it with The
Best of Hall and Oates.
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All right, I won't be mad.
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Just tell me who did this.
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Nobody did this?
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Tell you what. I did it.
Now, can we go eat?
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FRASIER: Not so fast, Dad.
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Okay.
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-Let's examine the evidence.
-ALL: Oh, no.
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A Hall and Oates tape.
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That rules you out, Dad.
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And it definitely rules out Niles.
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-Dr. Crane…
-Or does it?
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Perhaps the tape was just a red herring,
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meant to throw me off the scent.
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A psychological game.
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There's only one of you that
would combat me on that level.
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-I did it!
-Aha!
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You can't say, "aha."
You thought it was me.
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-Why'd you do it, Daphne?
-I didn't mean to.
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I was trying to listen to a tape in that
boom box you gave me for Christmas,
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only I wasn't getting any sound,
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and I didn't know if it were
the tape or the boom box,
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and I didn't have any other tapes,
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so I grabbed one of your tapes
just to test the boom box out.
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And it turns out it was
the boom box after all.
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Only then, I couldn't get
it out of the boom box,
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so I used a screwdriver to pry it
out, and I broke the tape. I'm so sorry.
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-Oh, there, there, Daphne…
-Stand down, Niles.
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Daphne.
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Do you realize what you've done?
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This isn't like any normal tape
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that you can just go down to your
local music shop and purchase.
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It's unique and irreplaceable.
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Can't you just get the
station to make you a copy?
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Unless I get the station
to make me another copy,
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which, or course, I can.
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The only transgression here
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is that Daphne didn't
come to me with the truth.
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Oh, I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane.
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I will never lie to you again.
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Well, then, if that's what
you learned, it was all worth it.
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So, what are we all sitting here for?
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I believe we have a
2,000th show to celebrate.
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-NILES: Here, here.
-So, did you all listen?
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-NILES: Oh, did we.
-MARTIN: it was great.
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DAPHNE: I especially
liked that call from Tacoma.
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Oh, which one?
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You know, in nine years,
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this is the first time I've
been down to the archives.
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-Oh, my God. I remember this place.
-Really?
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I came down here once
after a Christmas party.
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Whatever for?
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Well, I had a little too much champagne,
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and you know how you get a
little lonely around the holiday?
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Brings back memories, huh, Roz?
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-Bulldog!
-That was some Christmas, huh?
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When Santa left a bit of
Bulldog in your stockings.
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[LAUGHS]
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You're disgusting.
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What, I went too far? I'm sorry.
Why don't, uh, you come back here?
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I'll slip you an apology.
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Bulldog's still got it!
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Bulldog, what the hell are you doing here?
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Oh, this is, uh, this is my new job.
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I, uh, catalog the archive.
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You know, I clean up a bit,
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but, uh, I figure I'll be
back on the air in no time,
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as long as I attack this job with
my trademark "can-do" attitude.
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Great. Well, then, we're looking
for a copy of my show, episode 893.
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00:10:00,952 --> 00:10:02,954
-No can do.
-What?
195
00:10:03,121 --> 00:10:06,457
What, I only been here an hour.
I don't even know where the john is.
196
00:10:06,541 --> 00:10:08,126
Where…
197
00:10:08,292 --> 00:10:10,212
Where's my Power Bar?
198
00:10:10,921 --> 00:10:12,756
I had a Power Bar here.
199
00:10:12,923 --> 00:10:15,509
Someone stole my Power Bar! This stinks!
200
00:10:15,676 --> 00:10:19,388
This is total BS!
This is… Oh, here it is.
201
00:10:22,599 --> 00:10:24,517
Frasier, here's a box
marked "Best of Crane."
202
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:27,020
Oh, uh, thanks, Roz.
Let's have a look. Ah, good.
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00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:28,314
What…
204
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:32,777
There's just a few tapes in here.
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00:10:32,944 --> 00:10:36,281
-All right, keep looking.
-Oh, hey, Doc.
206
00:10:36,448 --> 00:10:38,032
Kenny, just the man I was looking for.
207
00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:41,953
Listen, where are all the
tapes of my shows kept?
208
00:10:42,537 --> 00:10:44,706
You got them, right there.
209
00:10:44,873 --> 00:10:46,792
-Well, where are the rest of them?
-Yes.
210
00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:49,420
There are no rest. We record over them.
211
00:10:49,587 --> 00:10:51,838
I mean, look around, Doc,
we got a space problem here.
212
00:10:51,922 --> 00:10:54,383
Hey, Kenny, where do you
want me to put these snow tires?
213
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,760
Oh, put them right next to my kids' bikes.
214
00:11:03,684 --> 00:11:05,334
FRASIER: Good afternoon, Seattle.
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00:11:05,437 --> 00:11:10,609
Before we go to the phones,
I have a boon to ask of you.
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00:11:10,775 --> 00:11:13,904
If any of you happens to
have in your possession
217
00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:16,072
a tape of my broadcast
218
00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:21,536
from June 14, 1996,
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00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,582
I am in need of a copy.
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00:11:24,749 --> 00:11:26,875
You see, I understand
that from time to time
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people who call in to my show record it,
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00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:31,964
perhaps in order to… To review my advice,
223
00:11:32,131 --> 00:11:34,717
or even just play it for some friends.
224
00:11:35,676 --> 00:11:38,471
Now, I realize that this
is a bit of a long shot,
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00:11:38,638 --> 00:11:42,809
but it is the only missing
tape of my collection,
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00:11:42,976 --> 00:11:47,022
and therefore, of course,
has great sentimental value.
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00:11:47,189 --> 00:11:50,150
Thanks for your consideration.
Now, Roz, who's our first caller?
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00:11:50,234 --> 00:11:53,445
We have Joe from
Vashon Island on line one.
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Go ahead, Joe, I'm listening.
230
00:11:56,448 --> 00:11:58,158
JOE [ON PHONE]: About that missing tape.
231
00:11:58,242 --> 00:11:59,660
-Yes, yes?
-JOE [ON PHONE]: Yeah,
232
00:11:59,744 --> 00:12:01,162
I know what you're going through.
233
00:12:01,246 --> 00:12:04,248
A couple years ago, I was in a
taxicab and lost a gold cufflink.
234
00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:06,918
Yes, and this relates
to my missing tape how?
235
00:12:07,085 --> 00:12:09,837
JOE [ON PHONE]: Well,
it's missing, and I'm bummed.
236
00:12:10,004 --> 00:12:12,298
It has the initials J.S. on it.
237
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,926
If anyone finds it, I'd
love to have it back.
238
00:12:15,093 --> 00:12:18,556
Yes, um, I'm sure you would, but
unless it's about my missing tape,
239
00:12:18,722 --> 00:12:20,557
well, then I would
prefer to stick to calls
240
00:12:20,641 --> 00:12:25,062
about mental and
emotional issues, as usual.
241
00:12:25,229 --> 00:12:27,606
Thank you for your call.
242
00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:29,275
Who's our next caller, Roz?
243
00:12:29,441 --> 00:12:31,041
We have Phyllis from Green Lake.
244
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,445
Phyllis, go ahead, I'm listening.
245
00:12:33,612 --> 00:12:35,948
PHYLLIS [ON PHONE]: My
cat ran away last Wednesday.
246
00:12:36,032 --> 00:12:39,452
She's orange with a white chest
and one white paw. Her name is…
247
00:12:39,619 --> 00:12:40,719
Wait, wait, Phyllis…
248
00:12:40,829 --> 00:12:42,246
PHYLLIS [ON PHONE]: So if anyone…
249
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:44,123
All right, hold on, hold on a minute.
250
00:12:44,207 --> 00:12:46,126
All right, now listen to me, people,
251
00:12:46,293 --> 00:12:50,422
I don't want to turn this show into
the lost and found bin of the airwaves.
252
00:12:51,131 --> 00:12:53,466
Phyllis, I'm gonna let
you finish your description,
253
00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:56,011
and then we're going back
to our regular show. All right?
254
00:12:56,095 --> 00:12:58,096
PHYLLIS [ON PHONE]: Okay.
She has green eyes,
255
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:01,475
a rhinestone collar, and when she's happy…
256
00:13:01,642 --> 00:13:03,769
Let's recap.
257
00:13:03,936 --> 00:13:06,480
Uh, in the last three hours,
258
00:13:06,897 --> 00:13:10,610
we have located a missing engagement ring,
259
00:13:10,776 --> 00:13:13,113
one lost cuff link,
260
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,115
two missing cats,
261
00:13:15,282 --> 00:13:20,120
and we've actually reunited Eric from
Belltown with his biological parents.
262
00:13:22,331 --> 00:13:26,960
Still, sadly, no sign of my missing tape.
263
00:13:27,461 --> 00:13:28,586
To that end, listeners,
264
00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:33,885
please scour your attics,
basements, hope chests, whatever.
265
00:13:34,052 --> 00:13:35,719
Meantime, this is Dr. Frasier Crane,
266
00:13:35,803 --> 00:13:38,306
wishing you good day
and good mental health.
267
00:13:38,473 --> 00:13:42,935
And don't forget to look behind things.
268
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,442
-I'm sorry, Frasier.
-Oh…
269
00:13:48,609 --> 00:13:50,610
That's all right, Roz.
I mean, it'll turn up.
270
00:13:50,694 --> 00:13:52,946
I mean, it's only the first day.
Word will get around.
271
00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:55,491
I'm… I'm sure somebody has that tape.
272
00:13:55,658 --> 00:13:58,201
I just don't want you to
get your hopes up too high.
273
00:13:58,285 --> 00:14:01,872
Chances are that tape is gone for good.
274
00:14:02,039 --> 00:14:04,500
Well, if that's the case, then so be it.
275
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:07,712
Life will go on, ha, ha.
276
00:14:29,318 --> 00:14:31,070
DAPHNE: Hello, Dr. Crane.
277
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,280
How was your nap?
278
00:14:35,991 --> 00:14:37,827
It was lovely.
279
00:14:39,995 --> 00:14:42,707
Daphne, could you make
me a cup of tea, please,
280
00:14:42,874 --> 00:14:47,003
and whatever meal would be
appropriate to this time of day?
281
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,342
Dr. Crane, you've been in bed all weekend.
282
00:14:52,509 --> 00:14:55,220
How about going for a nice walk?
283
00:14:55,387 --> 00:14:57,431
No, thanks.
284
00:14:58,432 --> 00:15:00,308
Well, how about going to a movie then?
285
00:15:00,392 --> 00:15:02,145
Take your mind off your troubles.
286
00:15:02,311 --> 00:15:03,604
My car's in the shop.
287
00:15:03,771 --> 00:15:06,232
You could take public transportation.
288
00:15:06,899 --> 00:15:08,735
[FEIGNS LAUGH]
289
00:15:09,861 --> 00:15:11,028
[DOORBELL RINGS]
290
00:15:11,195 --> 00:15:15,867
Oh, I wonder who this could be.
291
00:15:17,368 --> 00:15:21,540
Oh, look, it's your brother
Niles, here for a visit.
292
00:15:23,709 --> 00:15:27,713
Hello, Frasier, how are we today?
293
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,964
What the hell is wrong
with the two of you?
294
00:15:30,048 --> 00:15:32,217
You'd think I'd been found
walking through the park
295
00:15:32,301 --> 00:15:34,261
in my underwear, talking to pigeons.
296
00:15:34,762 --> 00:15:37,891
-Would we like a walk in the park?
-Oh, good God.
297
00:15:38,892 --> 00:15:41,092
All right, all right.
Frasier, Frasier, wait.
298
00:15:41,186 --> 00:15:44,272
Hey, looking good, buddy.
299
00:15:45,982 --> 00:15:48,818
-Not any better, huh?
-No, and I feel just awful.
300
00:15:48,985 --> 00:15:50,835
-This is all my fault.
-Oh, come on.
301
00:15:50,987 --> 00:15:53,155
I'm the one who ruined
his treasured collection.
302
00:15:53,239 --> 00:15:56,660
Oh, all his crap is treasured.
303
00:15:57,453 --> 00:16:01,081
But look, don't feel bad.
I've broken lots of his stuff.
304
00:16:01,248 --> 00:16:03,459
I've never heard of you breaking anything.
305
00:16:03,626 --> 00:16:06,504
Well, that's because I
know how to cover my tracks.
306
00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:10,299
Take a look at that fertility
god statue over there.
307
00:16:10,466 --> 00:16:14,471
It used to be a lot more
fertile, if you know what I mean.
308
00:16:17,808 --> 00:16:21,770
Oh, my God! This is a Tootsie Roll!
309
00:16:24,815 --> 00:16:26,815
-That's brilliant!
-Oh, that's nothing.
310
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:29,069
Here, check out this vase.
311
00:16:29,236 --> 00:16:31,195
Two years ago Eddie
and I were horsing around.
312
00:16:31,279 --> 00:16:34,199
I knocked it over. It took me
hours to glue it back together again.
313
00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:35,952
Why, you can't even tell.
314
00:16:36,118 --> 00:16:38,496
I had no idea you were so devious.
315
00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:41,039
Ha. Come on, I'll show
you how to make ginger ale
316
00:16:41,123 --> 00:16:43,835
look like 50-year-old brandy.
317
00:16:44,919 --> 00:16:48,269
Listen, Niles, I appreciate your
concern, I really do, but, frankly,
318
00:16:48,381 --> 00:16:51,092
I am in no mood to endure
therapy with my younger brother,
319
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,887
-no matter how well-intentioned.
-I'm not trying to butt in,
320
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:58,141
I'm just curious as to why this
tape matters so much to you.
321
00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:59,708
Do you ever listen to these?
322
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,770
Once.
323
00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:05,566
When I had a date over.
324
00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:09,946
It proved a useful mood-setter.
325
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,032
Okay.
326
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,951
Well, tell me this, then.
327
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,496
Do you ever intend to
listen to any of the others?
328
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,290
I don't know.
329
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:24,669
So why is it so important to you to
have each and every one of them?
330
00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:27,965
Because it's a collection, Niles.
That's what a collection is.
331
00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:32,469
Is it possible that a harmless collection
has become an unhealthy obsession?
332
00:17:32,845 --> 00:17:36,181
-It's… It's just a hobby, all right?
-Or an obsession.
333
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:38,517
-Yeah, an eccentricity.
-Or an obsession.
334
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,769
It, you know, it's a quirk.
335
00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,981
That's it. I'm quirky.
I'm delightfully quirky.
336
00:17:45,317 --> 00:17:49,738
Do you realize that your delightful quirk
has brought your life to a standstill?
337
00:17:49,905 --> 00:17:55,327
Niles, I've just finished my 2,000th show.
338
00:17:55,493 --> 00:18:00,457
I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally.
339
00:18:00,624 --> 00:18:06,213
I believe that I am entitled to an
entire weekend of doing nothing,
340
00:18:06,380 --> 00:18:08,215
don't you?
341
00:18:09,884 --> 00:18:13,012
You know, you have your
pajamas on backwards.
342
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,890
Another delightful quirk of mine.
343
00:18:16,057 --> 00:18:18,309
Not from where I'm sitting.
344
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:22,731
Hey, Fras, the station called.
Some guy has your tape.
345
00:18:23,982 --> 00:18:27,653
Oh, uh, well, thanks, Dad.
346
00:18:28,195 --> 00:18:32,908
Yes, well, uh, I'll
tend to this by and by.
347
00:18:33,909 --> 00:18:36,745
-All right, I'll get the car.
-I'll put on pants.
348
00:18:36,912 --> 00:18:39,081
Zipper goes in front!
349
00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:42,669
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
350
00:18:46,172 --> 00:18:48,007
-Hello.
-Hello, yes, Dr. Crane.
351
00:18:48,174 --> 00:18:50,176
Please come in. Make yourself at home.
352
00:18:50,343 --> 00:18:51,511
You must be Tom.
353
00:18:51,678 --> 00:18:55,932
And you must be the greatest
radio talk show host ever.
354
00:18:56,099 --> 00:18:59,144
Oh, ha, ha. You can call me Frasier.
355
00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:00,980
-I think I'll wait outside.
-Oh.
356
00:19:01,772 --> 00:19:03,565
I didn't know you were bringing someone.
357
00:19:03,649 --> 00:19:06,151
Oh, Tom, uh, this is my brother, Niles.
358
00:19:06,318 --> 00:19:07,361
-Oh.
-Hello, Tom.
359
00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:11,699
Hi. Yes. Yeah, didn't you, uh, fill in
on Frasier's show a couple of times?
360
00:19:11,865 --> 00:19:13,325
Oh, yes, actually I did.
361
00:19:13,492 --> 00:19:15,744
Yeah, yeah, you were… You were all right.
362
00:19:15,912 --> 00:19:20,583
-Oh, well, you flatter me.
-Huh. So, what's it like?
363
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,753
-Excuse me?
-Being Frasier Crane's brother.
364
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,796
Being able to talk to
him any time you want,
365
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,633
having access to that
great mind 24 hours a day?
366
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:33,763
-You know, I think I left my lights on.
-No, no, no, please don't leave yet.
367
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:35,223
Please. If you don't mind,
368
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,851
I was hoping that you would
take a picture of Frasier and I.
369
00:19:37,935 --> 00:19:39,854
Well, uh, of course he doesn't mind.
370
00:19:40,021 --> 00:19:44,275
Uh, actually, I even brought
along an eight-by-ten photo, ha, ha.
371
00:19:44,442 --> 00:19:47,528
Personalized, of course. There we are.
372
00:19:47,695 --> 00:19:49,655
Oh, my, that's…
373
00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:53,076
-That's really… I don't know…
-Well, I thought you might like that.
374
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,163
Yes, I'll… I'll…
I'll have to do some rearranging,
375
00:19:56,329 --> 00:20:00,208
but… But don't worry, I'll find
some room for it somewhere.
376
00:20:05,589 --> 00:20:07,507
I, uh, thought that was a window.
377
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,509
Yes, well, it was.
378
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,764
Okay, I'm gonna go get the camera.
379
00:20:13,681 --> 00:20:17,393
Frasier, this man is deeply disturbed.
380
00:20:17,977 --> 00:20:20,938
Why? Because he has a
few pictures of me on his wall?
381
00:20:21,105 --> 00:20:22,148
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
382
00:20:22,315 --> 00:20:23,983
The man is obviously obsessed with you.
383
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:26,360
Oh, what is it with you?
I'm obsessed, he's obsessed.
384
00:20:26,444 --> 00:20:28,863
I think you're the one who's
obsessed with being obsessed.
385
00:20:28,947 --> 00:20:31,909
Okay, I apologize.
He's delightfully quirky.
386
00:20:33,869 --> 00:20:37,414
FRASIER [ON MACHINE]:
Go ahead, caller, I'm listening.
387
00:20:37,581 --> 00:20:39,165
WOMAN [ON MACHINE]: This is your mother.
388
00:20:39,249 --> 00:20:41,459
Call me, and change that
stupid message already.
389
00:20:41,543 --> 00:20:43,921
Oh, Mom, get a life why don't you.
390
00:20:44,088 --> 00:20:45,547
Okay, here we go.
391
00:20:45,714 --> 00:20:47,758
Now, I want to record
this historic moment,
392
00:20:47,842 --> 00:20:49,552
because I don't want to wake up tomorrow
393
00:20:49,636 --> 00:20:51,637
and find out that this
was all part of a dream.
394
00:20:51,721 --> 00:20:54,390
-All right.
-Because I've had this dream before.
395
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,142
Many times.
396
00:20:56,309 --> 00:20:58,103
Sometimes we're in London,
397
00:20:58,269 --> 00:20:59,896
sometimes we're in Paris,
398
00:21:00,063 --> 00:21:04,275
sometimes we're riding
mules down the Grand Canyon.
399
00:21:04,442 --> 00:21:05,820
Oh, my God!
400
00:21:05,986 --> 00:21:07,863
This is gonna be the
jewel of my collection.
401
00:21:07,947 --> 00:21:09,531
I'm gonna get a special frame for it,
402
00:21:09,615 --> 00:21:12,367
and I'm gonna look at it while
I'm listening to the show, and I…
403
00:21:12,451 --> 00:21:15,955
Oh, wait a minute.
Oh, listen, uh, uh, Frasier's brother,
404
00:21:16,122 --> 00:21:18,958
um, your thumb was in front of the lens.
405
00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:20,625
If you don't mind, just one more.
406
00:21:20,709 --> 00:21:22,669
And you know what?
Bring that chair closer.
407
00:21:22,753 --> 00:21:25,757
Come over here for a second.
Just sit here. Just like that.
408
00:21:25,924 --> 00:21:27,842
This is gonna be great. Okay, sit here,
409
00:21:27,926 --> 00:21:31,012
and this time why don't you
act like you're giving me advice?
410
00:21:31,972 --> 00:21:34,224
Right. All right, uh, Tom, well, you know,
411
00:21:34,391 --> 00:21:38,603
I was just wondering, um, have
you ever called into the show?
412
00:21:38,979 --> 00:21:41,607
Me? Why would I call the show?
413
00:21:43,401 --> 00:21:45,820
Oh! Did your head just touch that?
414
00:21:45,987 --> 00:21:48,823
-Yes. I'm sorry.
-Don't be.
415
00:21:51,367 --> 00:21:52,702
Oh.
416
00:21:52,869 --> 00:21:54,912
So, uh, Tom,
417
00:21:55,079 --> 00:21:59,793
I take it you've been listening
to the show for some time.
418
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,628
Oh, are you kidding?
419
00:22:01,795 --> 00:22:03,338
From day one.
420
00:22:03,505 --> 00:22:06,341
I got so hooked that
eventually I started taping them
421
00:22:06,508 --> 00:22:08,177
so that I didn't miss anything.
422
00:22:08,343 --> 00:22:10,193
I even was skipping out of work early
423
00:22:10,304 --> 00:22:12,263
so I could make sure to be home in time.
424
00:22:12,347 --> 00:22:13,682
So, in a way, Tom,
425
00:22:13,849 --> 00:22:17,603
you could say that your
obsession with your collection
426
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:20,231
was bringing your life to a standstill.
427
00:22:20,398 --> 00:22:22,066
Yes. Yes, exactly.
428
00:22:22,233 --> 00:22:24,736
Until I realized how
ridiculous I was being.
429
00:22:24,903 --> 00:22:27,822
I mean, missing work to… To tape the show.
430
00:22:27,989 --> 00:22:29,782
Oh, good for you, Tom.
431
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:34,162
So you could say that, uh, it is
possible to have a passion for collecting
432
00:22:34,329 --> 00:22:36,329
without losing sight of your priorities.
433
00:22:36,457 --> 00:22:39,877
Yes, exactly. And…
And that's why I quit my job.
434
00:22:40,044 --> 00:22:43,047
Oh, this turned out really nice.
435
00:22:43,214 --> 00:22:45,758
And, you know, eventually
the money ran out,
436
00:22:45,925 --> 00:22:48,302
so I got a gig as a night doorman.
437
00:22:48,469 --> 00:22:50,346
And that way I could, uh…
438
00:22:50,512 --> 00:22:52,430
Oh.
I could, you know, uh, listen to the show
439
00:22:52,514 --> 00:22:54,768
a second time on my Walkman,
440
00:22:54,935 --> 00:22:57,520
and then I could do my
transcriptions at work.
441
00:22:58,438 --> 00:23:04,027
-You transcribe the show?
-Well, you gotta have a backup.
442
00:23:05,654 --> 00:23:07,864
Uh, listen, Tom, you know, I must confess,
443
00:23:08,031 --> 00:23:10,659
I'm a… I'm a bit concerned. Um.
444
00:23:11,701 --> 00:23:15,081
I'm delighted to have you as a fan.
I really am,
445
00:23:15,248 --> 00:23:19,252
but the whole purpose of
my show is to help people
446
00:23:19,418 --> 00:23:22,004
live better lives,
447
00:23:22,171 --> 00:23:24,507
and I'm afraid that I've hurt yours.
448
00:23:25,132 --> 00:23:26,425
I just…
449
00:23:26,592 --> 00:23:30,388
There should be more to… To life than…
450
00:23:31,431 --> 00:23:32,641
There should be more.
451
00:23:32,808 --> 00:23:35,018
Yes, but as you always say,
452
00:23:35,185 --> 00:23:39,398
life is most fulfilling when spent
in the pursuit of one's passions.
453
00:23:39,564 --> 00:23:41,608
Yes, but as I've also said,
454
00:23:41,775 --> 00:23:47,614
weave the tapestry of your
life with many diverse threads.
455
00:23:47,781 --> 00:23:49,826
Ah, yes, but you added,
456
00:23:49,993 --> 00:23:55,164
make sure to weave the
pattern that pleases you most.
457
00:23:56,958 --> 00:24:00,336
Weave the tapestry with diverse threads?
458
00:24:00,503 --> 00:24:04,924
Yes. Frasier said all of
these things, and many others.
459
00:24:05,091 --> 00:24:07,303
He is a genius.
460
00:24:07,469 --> 00:24:09,930
Would you like some guacamole?
461
00:24:10,723 --> 00:24:13,142
-Uh, yeah, sure. Uh.
-Thank you.
462
00:24:13,642 --> 00:24:17,521
Thanks, Tom. Listen, I'm…
I'm just, uh, thinking. Um.
463
00:24:17,688 --> 00:24:19,606
I don't really want to
talk you into anything.
464
00:24:19,690 --> 00:24:23,068
It seems I've done enough of that already.
I, uh…
465
00:24:24,611 --> 00:24:26,489
Thank you.
466
00:24:27,073 --> 00:24:30,201
Tom, what I'm getting at here is,
467
00:24:30,368 --> 00:24:33,705
I think there could be more to your life
468
00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:38,960
than just my tapes and pictures.
469
00:24:39,127 --> 00:24:43,298
Now, if you'd be interested in
exploring those issues further,
470
00:24:43,466 --> 00:24:46,802
I can recommend someone
who would be glad to talk with you.
471
00:24:46,969 --> 00:24:51,515
-[MOUTHING] Not me. Not me.
-Why? I have you.
472
00:24:55,644 --> 00:24:57,313
Thank you.
473
00:24:58,939 --> 00:25:01,489
Well, you know, I…
I think it's time we got going.
474
00:25:01,651 --> 00:25:03,111
Oh, no, so soon?
475
00:25:03,278 --> 00:25:04,862
Oh, well, I suppose someone like you
476
00:25:04,946 --> 00:25:06,781
probably has a lot of
things they gotta do.
477
00:25:06,865 --> 00:25:08,700
-Right.
-I'm glad you could come at all.
478
00:25:08,784 --> 00:25:11,703
Please, you know, stop
by any time you want.
479
00:25:11,870 --> 00:25:14,331
Thank you, Tom, and it was a pleasure.
480
00:25:14,498 --> 00:25:17,125
Oh, don't forget your tape.
481
00:25:19,461 --> 00:25:21,422
You know, Tom,
482
00:25:21,589 --> 00:25:22,965
I'd like you to keep that.
483
00:25:23,132 --> 00:25:25,259
But this is the reason you came.
484
00:25:25,968 --> 00:25:28,221
If I ever need it,
485
00:25:28,388 --> 00:25:29,889
I'll know where to find it.
486
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,146
Um…
487
00:25:37,313 --> 00:25:40,359
You know those shows
where I sat in for Frasier?
488
00:25:42,611 --> 00:25:45,197
You wouldn't happen to
have those tapes, would you?
489
00:25:45,364 --> 00:25:48,325
Sorry, I… I don't collect just anything.
490
00:25:54,748 --> 00:25:58,336
Hey, there he is.
Did you get your tape back?
491
00:25:58,503 --> 00:25:59,963
Actually, no, I didn't.
492
00:26:00,130 --> 00:26:01,756
What happened?
493
00:26:02,132 --> 00:26:04,050
Daphne
494
00:26:05,051 --> 00:26:07,345
tonight I saw an example
495
00:26:08,138 --> 00:26:11,808
of how an obsession
can take over a man's life.
496
00:26:13,059 --> 00:26:15,521
I don't want to be that man.
497
00:26:16,105 --> 00:26:21,444
Therefore, I chose to leave it
and render my collection imperfect.
498
00:26:21,944 --> 00:26:23,863
But that's all right. You see,
499
00:26:24,488 --> 00:26:27,158
I don't need things to be perfect.
500
00:26:30,536 --> 00:26:32,371
Hello.
501
00:26:34,958 --> 00:26:37,043
Something's amiss.
502
00:26:38,003 --> 00:26:39,129
[GASPS]
503
00:26:39,296 --> 00:26:42,174
My double-handled amphora!
504
00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:44,843
All right, no one leaves!