1 00:00:08,100 --> 00:00:10,300 ROZ: Hi, Niles. - Hey, Roz. 2 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:11,800 Hey, how's Daphne? 3 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:14,600 Actually, I just got back from visiting her at the spa. 4 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:15,800 ROZ: Yeah. - It wasn't easy, 5 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:19,300 but she has already lost 9 pounds and 12 ounces. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,200 Wow, good for her. It's all about will power. 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,000 NILES: Yeah. - Oh, thanks. 8 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,500 I'm going back to the spa this coming weekend, if you need a ride. 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,600 These aren't for me. 10 00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,600 Alice's school is having a picnic, and I'm bringing the goodies. 11 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,300 Yes, so I see. Just don't get them sunburned. 12 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:39,100 I'm sorry. It's just... 13 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,500 Well, aren't you a little overdressed for a picnic? 14 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,500 Well, there is this cute single dad named Greg. 15 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,600 - Oh. - He's going through a divorce. 16 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,700 His wife cheated on him. He's so nice too. 17 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,200 He deserves a woman he can trust. 18 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,500 Do these look like I baked them? 19 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,300 Yes, just as long as they don't taste like you baked them. 20 00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,000 - Gotta go. - All right. 21 00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,200 - Hi, Roz. ROZ: Hey, Frasier. 22 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,000 Can I get a latte to go, please? 23 00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:08,300 Well, Niles, it's official, 24 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:12,200 our old high school is on the verge of bankruptcy. 25 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,500 What happened to the fundraising committee? 26 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,300 We disbanded it this morning. 27 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:19,500 - I don't believe it. FRASIER: Yeah. 28 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,100 - Bryce Academy gone. - Mm-hm. 29 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,300 - No more third-floor library. - No. 30 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,600 No more science lab. 31 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:30,800 Oh, gosh, I stole my first kiss in that science lab. 32 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,600 Jill Solomon. She was pretty upset about it, 33 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,000 but I was beaming all the way to the nurse's office. 34 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,100 No more nurse's office. 35 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,700 I spent many a happy gym class there. 36 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,100 - Frasier, we can't let this happen. - I don't see how we can prevent it. 37 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,700 Believe me, there are no more alumni arms left to be twisted. 38 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,700 Well, maybe we're twisting the wrong arms. 39 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,200 We know plenty of people who give to any cause that comes along. 40 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,500 FRASIER: Perhaps you're right. 41 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,900 Let's get some of that cash flowing Bryce's way. 42 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,200 How soon we can get our well-to-do friends together? 43 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,900 No time to waste, Niles. How's Wednesday evening? 44 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,200 No, can't. Theatre tickets. How about Thursday? 45 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:09,900 An appointment at the spa. 46 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,100 - Well, can you change it? - Well, not willingly. 47 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,700 It's with the good masseur, the blind one. 48 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,400 He's blind. 49 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:21,400 When he said he couldn't see clients, I thought he was just booked all week. 50 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,400 We should probably talk strategy before the guests get here. 51 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,300 Yes, all right, we don't wanna pounce. 52 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,600 Let's let them get settled in, have a few cocktails, 53 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,600 and then, when they're sufficiently relaxed, 54 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,400 we'll shear them like Delilah. 55 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:37,700 [DOORBELL RINGS] 56 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:38,800 Our first guest. 57 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,700 Let the fundraising begin. 58 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,100 Hello, one and all. Please come in, please come in. 59 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,100 Thank you for coming. Let me take your wrap. 60 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,100 Here we are. Please make yourselves at home. 61 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,200 MAN: The place looks wonderful. FRASIER: Thank you. 62 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,100 - I love that painting. - Really? 63 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,300 It's hardly as impressive as that portrait that Hockney did of your wife. 64 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,600 - You like it? - Mm-hm. 65 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,400 - Make me an offer. - Excuse me? 66 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:03,400 Between you and me, I'm getting hammered by margin calls. 67 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:04,700 [DOORBELL RINGS] 68 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,500 Need a watch? 69 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,800 Oh, actually, that's not really... 70 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:13,500 Oh, Mertzie. Oh, good to see you. How is everything? 71 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,200 So the judge voided our prenup, and if that's not bad enough, 72 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,000 I'm paying half her lawyer's fee. 73 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:21,900 These Russian gals look good on the Internet, but... 74 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,700 How are things going on your side of the room? 75 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,300 Not very well. 76 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,600 Seems Marshall sank all his money into a new house. 77 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:35,500 Sally sank all her money into a new boat, which sank. 78 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,900 Wait, Niles, the door. Isn't that...? 79 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,700 Oh, yes, it is. Eleanor Lynch. 80 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,000 I heard she got a huge settlement from the Mariners 81 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,000 after that baseball bat flew into the stands... 82 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:49,100 No, no, no, the woman next to her. Isn't that Penelope Janvier? 83 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,200 Of the Penelope Janvier Foundation? Oh, yes, it is. 84 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,000 Niles, this is amazing luck. 85 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,800 She could write a cheque covering the amount without batting an eye. 86 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,200 Don't put it that way in front of Eleanor. 87 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:01,500 - Let's go talk to her. - No, no, wait. 88 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,900 We're only gonna have one crack. We'd better make it good. 89 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,000 - Let's devise a plan. Come with me. - All right, all right. 90 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,600 - Oh! - Oh, goodness, are you all right? 91 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,100 Oh, I just twisted my ankle. 92 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,800 Well, well, sit down. I'll take this back to the kitchen for you. 93 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,300 Oh, thank you. 94 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:20,400 Hey, sweetheart. Need some more Crunch 'n Munch. 95 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,800 - Oh, I'm not a... MARTIN: I'm sorry. 96 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,700 I'm sure you're busy, 97 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,000 but if my sons see me traipsing through their party, 98 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,900 they'll think I'm gonna embarrass them in front of all their stuffed-shirt friends. 99 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,600 You look familiar. 100 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,000 You ever dance? 101 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,200 - Now, we've got to appear casual. - Should we start with small talk? 102 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,000 Perhaps, perhaps. Oh, yes, you know, 103 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,500 I recall an aphorism that's usually attributed to Santayana, 104 00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:51,600 but I have my own little version. 105 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:52,900 We've got to get out there. 106 00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,800 Give me a chance to get the words. "Money cannot so enrich a man..." 107 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,200 - She's talking to Dad. - Let's get the hell out there. 108 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,700 Dad, what happened with that woman just now? 109 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,900 Nothing. She got a phone call and she had to leave. 110 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,400 - She said to say thanks. - Come off it. You offended her. 111 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:10,400 What was it, Dad? A bawdy joke? Nose whistling? 112 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,600 Do you have any idea who that was? 113 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:16,600 Yes, she said her name was Penelope Janvier or Janvier or... 114 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,100 Janvier, Dad. Jan, Jan... Oh, it doesn't matter. 115 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:21,000 Well, it does to me. 116 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,700 I wanna say her name right if we're having dinner tomorrow. 117 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,700 - You didn't ask her out, did you, Dad? - No, she asked me out. 118 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,600 I'm sorry, Dad. It's just that I'm a little shocked. 119 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,000 I think that's pronounced: 120 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,600 "Sorry, Dad, I'm a condescending jackass." 121 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:47,000 NILES: Dad left to meet Penelope five hours ago. 122 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,000 What could they be doing? 123 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,100 I can think of one possibility. 124 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,000 You think... On a first date? 125 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:58,200 Niles, they went to a steak house. Penelope's paying. 126 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,200 I'm sorry, but I don't think a 48 ouncer is out of the question. 127 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:08,100 You know, Niles, hard to believe, 128 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:12,700 but Penelope Janvier could actually become Dad's girlfriend. 129 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:15,000 Well, that's not so preposterous. 130 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,700 Mom was as cultured and intelligent as they come 131 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,600 and he certainly made her happy. 132 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,600 That he did. 133 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,600 You know, it might be good for Dad too. 134 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,100 - Thank you. - Yeah. 135 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,100 It certainly won't hurt our fundraising efforts. 136 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,900 - For Bryce. - For Bryce. 137 00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,600 [MARTIN AND PENELOPE CHATTERING] 138 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,000 He's back. 139 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:34,500 Is that a woman's voice? 140 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:38,000 My God, she came home with him. 141 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,800 - Dad. - Dad, hey, how was your evening? 142 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,100 MARTIN: Couldn't have gone better. 143 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:46,400 FRASIER: Dad, am I mistaken, 144 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,900 or did we just hear the sound of a woman's voice out here? 145 00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:51,700 Oh, yeah, she's in the powder room. But, listen... 146 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,600 The powder room? I haven't changed the hand towels for three days. 147 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,200 [NILES TSKS] 148 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,700 Don't you cluck your tongue at me. 149 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,900 Estelle, I'd like you to meet my boys. This is Frasier and Niles. 150 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,700 - Hello. - Nice to meet you guys. 151 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,900 Lovely. 152 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,700 Thanks for letting me use the john. 153 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,800 Oh, sure. So see you tomorrow, okay? 154 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,100 Great. 155 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:22,100 - Bye, guys. - Bye-bye. 156 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,900 I'm beat. Well, see you guys tomorrow. 157 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,800 BOTH: Dad? 158 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,500 Oh, all right. Here's what happened. 159 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,200 Penelope and I got along great, but after I dropped her off, 160 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,700 I was still hungry. So I went to this little coffee shop 161 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,500 near McGinty's to get some chilli fries. 162 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,600 Now, I know what you're wondering. Doesn't McGinty's have chilli fries? 163 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,400 Yes, and they're very tasty. 164 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,200 Who the hell is Estelle? 165 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,500 She works at the coffee shop. We got chatting, 166 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,200 the next thing you know, we're having a nightcap at McGinty's. 167 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,800 Hey, when it rains, it pours. 168 00:07:57,100 --> 00:07:58,700 Yes, Dad, but what about Penelope? 169 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,900 - Oh, I'm seeing her Tuesday. - You just made a date with Estelle. 170 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,100 Not for Tuesday. 171 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,600 You're gonna date both of them? 172 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,000 - Are you sure that's wise? - Well, it's just dating. 173 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,800 I met them both at the same time. I like them both. 174 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,600 - Where's the harm in it? - Don't you think it's a little risky? 175 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:16,500 What if one of them should find out about... 176 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,200 - Penelope, for example. - Yes, yes. 177 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,200 You wouldn't want to alienate her permanently. 178 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,100 Oh, don't worry. I've watched you juggle. 179 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,900 I've got a pretty good handle on what not to do. 180 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,800 - Oh, hi, Niles. - Hey, Roz. 181 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,100 Off to another picnic, I see. 182 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,000 Yeah, Greg and I are really hitting it off. 183 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,500 He loves my cooking. 184 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:42,400 I'm sorry, miss, we're out of lemon bars. 185 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,100 Well, make some more. 186 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,300 And give me a dirty pan. I need to put it in my sink. 187 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,900 I'm sorry. Our baker doesn't come in until tomorrow. 188 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,400 - I can give you the recipe. - What am I supposed to do with that? 189 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,400 - Bake? - Is that supposed to be funny? 190 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,200 Good Lord, Niles. You won't believe this. 191 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,900 "Bryce trustees are already reviewing a proposal 192 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,000 for the purchase of their land." 193 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,100 Dad just walked in. Let's drop another hint about meeting Penelope. 194 00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,600 Time for hints has passed. We've got to be direct. 195 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:17,100 Dad is not gonna let us ask his girlfriend for money. 196 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,500 I didn't say honest. I said direct. Try to keep up, for God's sakes. 197 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:21,800 MARTIN: Hey, guys. - Hey, Dad. 198 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,000 Have a seat. Have a seat. 199 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,100 So... Wow, is that espresso? 200 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,300 Yeah, a little "pick me up" in between dates. 201 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,600 Boy, this juggling thing isn't as easy as I make it look. 202 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,000 But don't you worry. 203 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:38,900 They're both getting first-class passage on the S.S. Martin. 204 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,600 Oh, that's where you get that from. 205 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,900 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 206 00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:45,900 That's me. 207 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,300 - You got a cell phone? - Well, sure, I had to. 208 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,100 You don't think I'm gonna give them both my home number, do you? 209 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,100 Come on, Fras, that's amateur hour. 210 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,000 See I programmed the phone for different rings 211 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:59,000 depending on who's calling, so that way I don't get caught off guard. 212 00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,900 Now this is William Tell. Rhymes with Estelle. 213 00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,100 Hello. 214 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,400 Oh, hi, Estenelope. 215 00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:12,600 Penelope? That's right. Here son's name's William. 216 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,300 Yeah. Oh, sure, Tuesday sounds great. 217 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,600 Pick me up at 7? Okay. 218 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:21,700 See you then, Penelope. 219 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,700 - That was very smooth. - Yes, yes. 220 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,200 Dad, about Penelope, actually, we were wondering... 221 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:29,700 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 222 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,400 Now, you see, that's Estelle. 223 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,100 Hello? Hey, Estelle, I had a feeling it might be you. 224 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,600 Tuesday at 7? Sounds great. 225 00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,900 - Yeah, oh, hold on a sec. What? - Didn't you just make a date 226 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,200 for Tuesday with Penelope? 227 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,200 - That was Thursday? - No, we both heard Tuesday. 228 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,900 Oh, thanks. Boy, that could've been ugly. 229 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,300 Yeah, Estelle, no, sorry. Thursday's out. It has to be Tuesday. 230 00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:55,900 - No, no, no. - No, wait, wait. 231 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,300 Thursday. Thursday's what I meant. 232 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,300 Yeah. Okay, talk to you later. Bye. 233 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:06,500 She's got it bad, and that ain't good. 234 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,100 FRASIER: Dad, uh... 235 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:13,800 Dad, listen, we were thinking it might be time that we meet Penelope. 236 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,700 She sounds enchanting. 237 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,300 - Yeah, enchanting. How's tomorrow? - Oh, guys, I don't know. 238 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,500 You know, meeting the family. That's taking it up another notch. 239 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,400 I don't wanna get that serious yet. 240 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,200 Maybe in a few months, but right now I just wanna keep it simple. 241 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:29,800 Simple? As in Estenelope? 242 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,900 Hello. Who's that? 243 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,100 Dad, for God's sake, 244 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,100 isn't there enough on your plate as it is? 245 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:43,500 What can I tell you? Daddy's got a big appetite. 246 00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:50,600 Dear God, what do we do now? 247 00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,300 Oh, I don't know. I guess we could have him neutered. 248 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:57,800 I suppose we could try to get to Penelope through her foundation. 249 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,200 I already tried that, and there's a six-month waiting list just to see her. 250 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,800 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 251 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,100 Lord, Dad left his phone. 252 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,700 Maybe I'd better run and tell him it's Penelope. 253 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:10,700 You know, I'll never catch him. 254 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:15,100 No, he's long gone and would probably want you to take a message. 255 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,800 Hello. 256 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:21,300 No, this is his son, Frasier. 257 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:25,500 Penelope Janvier? Oh, well, how nice to speak with you. 258 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,800 A cocktail party? 259 00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,600 Tomorrow night. He'll be there. 260 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,200 In fact, I'll make sure of that. I'll be driving him myself. 261 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:38,600 You see, my brother, Niles, and I will be with him all day. 262 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,500 It's our once-a-year family day, 263 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:44,400 and we do just about everything together. 264 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:48,900 What's that? Are you sure? Really? 265 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,900 Well, then, yes, we'd love to come. 266 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,300 FRASIER: My, Penelope certainly has good taste. 267 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,300 Well, of course. She likes Dad, doesn't she? 268 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:04,900 Oh, can it. 269 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,100 I'm still mad at you guys for inviting yourselves. 270 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,100 Now, remember, be careful what you say in front of Penelope. 271 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:14,200 I got a delicate balancing act going on here, so don't mess it up. 272 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:15,600 Don't mess what up? 273 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:18,800 Oh, hi. Why, your lovely living room. 274 00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:22,300 My boys really like to rough house. 275 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,800 All right, Penelope, these are my sons, Niles and Frasier. 276 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,700 Hello. We spoke on the phone. It's such a pleasure to meet you. 277 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,900 - Thank you. - Dad speaks about you all the time. 278 00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,200 Yes. 279 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,400 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 280 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:39,800 Oh, that's just my alarm to remind me to take my pills. 281 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:41,300 Let's get you a glass of water. 282 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,200 No, no, that's all right. I'd rather do it in private. Thank you. 283 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,900 Yeah, he has trouble swallowing. 284 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,100 - A small epiglottis. - Yeah. 285 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,700 Epiglottis. I haven't heard that word since biology class in high school. 286 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,700 - Oh, yes. High school. - Yeah. 287 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,400 - It's a pity about our old high school. PENELOPE: Oh, William. 288 00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:04,500 Niles, Frasier, I'd like you to meet my son, William. 289 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,700 - Hello. - Nice to meet you. 290 00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,400 These are Marty's boys. 291 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,700 Oh. 292 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,000 Hi. 293 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,300 Did I just hear Dr. Corman ask you for $50,000 294 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:17,300 for a new CAT scan machine at the hospital? 295 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:18,900 It is a worthy cause. 296 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,300 Yes, mother, they all are, 297 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:23,700 but it's inappropriate to hit you up for money at a party. 298 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,600 Teddy was your father's closest friend. 299 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,100 Bourbon was my father's closest friend. 300 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,800 I showed Ted out. 301 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,500 William, he delivered you. 302 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,900 - Excuse me, I have to go get him. - Yes, all right. 303 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,900 People look at my mother, all they see is dollar signs. 304 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,200 - It makes me sick. - Yeah. 305 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,600 What are you guys doing here? 306 00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:45,200 Us? Oh, well, actually, your mother invited us. 307 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,200 - She did. - Uh-oh. 308 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,300 Mother's been cornered by Father Patterson. 309 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,900 Or should I say Father Sponge. 310 00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,900 NILES: Oh, my goodness. 311 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,200 It's gonna be hard pressing our case with him around. 312 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,100 Don't worry, Niles. We'll get a chance. We've got all night. 313 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,100 Don't get too comfortable, we've gotta leave. 314 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,800 - What? - I had a date with Estelle tonight, 315 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,500 and she's been waiting a half an hour. 316 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,600 It's not like me to screw up like this. 317 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,500 What about Penelope, Dad? You cannot just walk out on her party. 318 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:16,800 Hey, Estelle took the evening off special just to be with me, you know? 319 00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,600 And she's pretty steamed. 320 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,600 Rules of the game, angriest woman wins. 321 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,300 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 322 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,500 - Oh, good Lord. - Jeez. Grab your coats. 323 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:27,800 PENELOPE: Frasier? - Yes. 324 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,500 - Where's your father off to? - He had to take more pills. 325 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,200 My goodness, I had no idea he was on so much medication. 326 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,600 - Are you concerned? - Well, not really. No, he'll be fine. 327 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:42,000 I just wish I could say the same for our old high school. 328 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,700 - What are you three talking about? - Um... 329 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,300 William, there you are. 330 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,200 Excuse us. I just wanted to alert you to a possible situation. 331 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,000 I overheard one of the servers discussing a one-act play 332 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,900 he wants your mother to produce. 333 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,500 - Okay, which one? - I think it was something by Chekhov. 334 00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,700 The long and the short of it is, Mrs. Janvier, 335 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:06,200 is that my alma mater, Bryce Academy, is in dire straits. 336 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,200 The coffers are bare, and our only hope is to find a saviour. 337 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,700 Forgive me for being presumptuous, but I was hoping it might be you. 338 00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:16,800 Actually, I'm familiar with Bryce. 339 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:20,000 Well, then you must also be familiar with their excellent standards. 340 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,400 Yes, I am. They wouldn't let in William. 341 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:28,900 Well, with your endowment, I'm sure he'd be a shoo-in. 342 00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:35,900 No, I'm sorry, Miss Janvier. Please, we are desperate. 343 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,900 Ordinarily, I wouldn't even consider this, 344 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,600 but I'm very fond of your father. 345 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,400 Call the foundation tomorrow with the details, 346 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,000 and we'll issue you a cheque. 347 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,000 Thank you, thank you. That's very kind of you. 348 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,500 - Thank you so much. - It's my pleasure. 349 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:53,800 I'd do anything for your father. He's a rarity. 350 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,400 FRASIER: Mm-hm. - He's an old-fashioned gentleman. 351 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,700 Well, I gotta go. 352 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,200 - Marty, what's wrong? - Feeling a little under the weather. 353 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,300 Well, then maybe you ought to see my doctor. 354 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,800 - He's here at the party. - No, I don't need a doctor. 355 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,500 Those were my husband's last words. 356 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,800 - Don't leave. - All right, if you insist. 357 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,200 Pull the car around. I'm going out through the kitchen. 358 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,900 We can't leave right now. Penelope will get suspicious. 359 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,300 Estelle's already suspicious. 360 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,600 I've decided to break it off with Penelope. 361 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,300 - What? - Hearing Estelle just now, 362 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,400 how upset she was on the phone, it made me realise 363 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:26,700 how much I cared about her. 364 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,900 All right, listen, Dad, Bryce Academy is going bankrupt. 365 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,700 Penelope is going to write a cheque tomorrow to save it. 366 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,000 So until then, I need you to pretend that you're still interested in her. 367 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,800 I can't believe this. 368 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 You and your brother have been using me. 369 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:44,100 Martin, this is Dr. Corman. 370 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,300 Well, it's nice to meet you, but I'm feeling a lot better now. Thanks. 371 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,400 If I let you leave without knowing if you're sick, I'll worry all night. 372 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:55,200 And you wouldn't want that, now, would you, Dad? 373 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,800 - Here we are. - Oh, all right. All right. 374 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,400 Doctor, be thorough. 375 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:03,600 MARTIN: But the pants stay on. 376 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,700 Ms. Janvier, I realise that I've been a little pushy. 377 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,800 Oh, not pushy. Just assertive. I like that. 378 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:15,100 Oh, well, then be prepared to love me because I need that cheque right now. 379 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,200 Was it this one? Devilled-egg guy? 380 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:18,800 NILES: Uh... 381 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:20,600 You know, I'm not sure. 382 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,100 He and chicken-satay guy look so much alike. 383 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,300 All right, listen up. 384 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,300 Which one of you snack jockeys is trying to get a play produced? 385 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,700 FRASIER: Miss Janvier, thank you again so much. 386 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000 Just make it out to Bryce Academy. 387 00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:39,900 - Do you have a pen? - Oh, yes, of course. 388 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,000 You know, when you sign as many autographs as I do, 389 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:43,500 you always have to have your... 390 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,600 - Oh, good Lord. - Never mind. William, I need a pen. 391 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,900 - What for? - I'm writing a cheque. 392 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,200 Oh, that's it. 393 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,100 We're going down to the special room, and we're gonna talk about this. 394 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,400 [NILES SIGHS] 395 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,300 Mother, l... 396 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,100 Mother, I forbid you to write another cheque. 397 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,500 Oh, just give me a pen. 398 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,700 I don't have one. 399 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,300 Mother. 400 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,400 This could be an elaborate scheme to bilk us. 401 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,100 You don't know who these guys are. 402 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:19,700 - We're Marty's boys. - And I trust Martin. 403 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,100 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 404 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:24,600 - Oh, that's Martin's alarm. - Just ignore that. 405 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,700 - This is a phone. - Well, here, I'll take it. 406 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:35,800 Hello? Well, this is Penelope. Who's this? 407 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,800 Estelle, Martin's girlfriend? 408 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:43,000 May I take a message? 409 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,100 Pill time! Time for more pills. 410 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,100 I'll tell him. 411 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:51,600 Estelle says don't bother coming over tonight. 412 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,800 Oh, Marty, how could you? 413 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:57,200 I'm sorry. I was gonna tell you but... 414 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,400 I guess this means breakfast Tuesday is off. 415 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,800 That's right. And it was Thursday. 416 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,000 - I don't need this pen anymore. - Miss Janvier, please. 417 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,600 I don't blame you for being angry, 418 00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,400 but if you believe in the hope of tomorrow 419 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:15,400 and a brighter future, then please, please don't punish the children 420 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:18,100 of Bryce Academy for our misdeeds. 421 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,600 Oh, boo-hoo. 422 00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,600 - Mother. - That's enough, William. 423 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,900 I made a promise to these men, and I'm a woman of my word. 424 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,700 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 425 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,700 You are more gracious than we deserve. 426 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,300 Yes, thank you. 427 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,300 Well done, Frasier. 428 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,400 Oh, Niles, I can't wait to see the expression 429 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:43,600 on the headmaster's face when he sees this cheque for $50. 430 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,700 What? 431 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,600 Well, l... 432 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:52,500 I guess it's $50 more than we had before. 433 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,800 Well, let's go, fellas. Grab my coat, will you? 434 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,400 Right, Dad. 435 00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,200 Oh! Oh!