1
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:12,800
I would like to close the show today
with a truly inspirational tale.

2
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,800
One year ago,
a very successful friend of mine

3
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,000
was struck by tragedy.

4
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,600
Prognosis: Not good. Hope: Slim.

5
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:31,100
But armed with only fortitude,
this friend of mine fought back.

6
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:35,500
I'm talking about the reopening of
Seattle's finest restaurant, Chez Henri.

7
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:37,500
Just goes to show you

8
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:42,300
that a four-alarm fire
is no match for five-star courage.

9
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:47,600
This is Frasier Crane saying good day
and good mental health.

10
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,000
You still don't have a table
for opening night.

11
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,800
And it's killing me.

12
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,400
Okay, everyone, it's showtime.

13
00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:57,300
The new station owner's
on his way down. So look alive.

14
00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,300
Watch what you say,
watch what you don't say.

15
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,400
Don't say too much,
don't say too little.

16
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,700
What the hell's this thermostat
set at anyway?

17
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,300
Good Lord. Kenny, calm down.

18
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,100
We've done the new-owner drill
a million times.

19
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:10,400
What'll it be today, Roz?

20
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,000
The glad-handing sycophant,
or our salute to teamwork?

21
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:14,600
Yeah, yeah, very funny.

22
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,500
Come on, Kenny. You know
how these people come and go.

23
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,600
They introduce themselves,
they shake your hand,

24
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tell us they're big fans
and then they're gone.

25
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,800
Nothing every changes.
So don't worry about it.

26
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:26,300
Well, that's easy for you to say.
You've got a contract.

27
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- Hey, guys.
- Oh, hello, sir.

28
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Ah, Clark Bar. Excellent choice, sir.

29
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,600
You must be the new owner.

30
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:37,100
Hi, I'm Frasier Crane
and this is my producer, Roz Doyle.

31
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,900
- Hi.
- Hey, Todd Peterson.

32
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,900
Mr. Peterson's one of
the brightest stars of Silicon Valley.

33
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- Thank you.
- And he's one of the youngest

34
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,300
members of the Fortune 500.

35
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- Please, you're embarrassing me.
- And he's a big fan of your show.

36
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,800
Oh, now you're embarrassing me.
Ha-ha. Go on.

37
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It's true.
I've been listening since college.

38
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I love the theme weeks,
but I was really into Follow-Up Fridays,

39
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:01,800
when you had previous callers call in
to let you know how they're doing.

40
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:06,200
- Why did you stop doing that?
- Oh, well, it wasn't my idea.

41
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,100
You know, Todd,
seeing as how you are such a big fan,

42
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perhaps I could bend your ear
sometime

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00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,100
about a few ideas I have
for the show.

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Great. I'd love to hear them.

45
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,900
Really?
Well, how about later today, perhaps?

46
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,800
Over cocktails at my place?

47
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,600
- That would be cool.
- Cool indeed.

48
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:28,900
- Later.
- Right.

49
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:32,800
And may I say it's truly an honour
to be serving under your leadership.

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00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:37,500
This is a great day for KACL,
indeed for radio itself.

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00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:41,100
I see you decided
to skip glad-handing sycophant

52
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and go straight
for bootlicking kiss ass.

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00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,500
[MARTIN MOANS]

54
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,600
- Is that too much?
- Oh, no, it feels great, Daph.

55
00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,700
Got a lot of elbow grease there
today.

56
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I suppose I'm a bit wound up.

57
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:00,500
Niles is out with Mel.
I don't trust that woman.

58
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MARTIN:
Oh, come on.

59
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,700
He's not with her
because he wants to be.

60
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,500
He's just gonna give her
what she wants

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00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,000
so she'll give him the divorce.

62
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:10,400
He's crazy about you, you know that.

63
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:14,300
I know. And I'm crazy about him.

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00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:21,000
Still, Niles has been gone
for a long time.

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00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]

66
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,300
DAPHNE:
It's open.

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00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,600
- Hello.
- Niles.

68
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,400
Sorry I'm late. Mel picked
a restaurant on the other side of town.

69
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,800
I'm getting so tired
of that woman's antics.

70
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,500
Antics, that's what
they are. Oh!

71
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This whole charade,

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making you pretend
you're a happy couple, it's so unfair.

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It's criminal. She won't even allow you
to be seen in public together.

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Did you hear that?

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00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,900
Give it up, old man.
The massage is over.

76
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,000
Daphne, I know it's difficult,

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but once she gives me that divorce,
we can go anywhere we want.

78
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,700
Paris, Florence, Rio.

79
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,200
How about my room to fold laundry?

80
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,300
NILES:
I hear it's lovely this time of year.

81
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,400
Oh, uh, Dad, listen, you know,

82
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I've got some company coming over,
so if you don't mind...

83
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,600
Oh, hot date, huh?

84
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:17,100
Well, actually, Dad,
the new station owner's coming by

85
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,100
to hear some ideas I have
about my show.

86
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,400
Well, it's a woman at least, right?

87
00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:23,900
Whatever gets you
out of the room faster, Dad.

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00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]

89
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,600
- Todd, come on in.
- Hi, Frasier.

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00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,600
- Whoa. Sweet view.
- Thank you, thank you.

91
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,500
That's the Space Needle there,
of course, and Elliott Bay.

92
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,700
And actually, on a clear day,
you can see Mount Rainier.

93
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,900
TODD:
Epic.

94
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,200
Is that a Pizza Hut?

95
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,500
- Well, we did start a petition...
- Well, it must've worked.

96
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,400
That is a Pizza Hut.

97
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,500
- You've got a great place here, Fras.
- Oh, thank you.

98
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,000
I like this.

99
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,700
What, did your kid carve it in camp?

100
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,700
Actually, that's a fertility god
from Central Africa.

101
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,800
It's quite rare. Thank you.

102
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,500
Say, Todd,
can I interest you in a sherry?

103
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,400
No, it would be wasted on me.

104
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:13,900
I don't know the first thing
about that stuff.

105
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,300
In the great scheme of things,
it's not very important.

106
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,400
It kind of is. I mean, ever since
my search engine went public,

107
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:23,000
people have been inviting me
to fundraisers and banquets.

108
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:28,300
They expect me to know all sorts
of things about art and music, wine.

109
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,200
I don't know jack. It's embarrassing.

110
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,900
- I'm sure you're exaggerating.
- No.

111
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,200
I spent my whole life
in front of a computer.

112
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,800
I don't know Beethoven from...

113
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,000
Beethoven's the only one I know.

114
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,200
You know,
it's never too late to learn.

115
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,800
- I'd be glad to give you some pointers.
- Really?

116
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:59,000
I'd be delighted.
I will play Virgil to your Dante.

117
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,200
In a few weeks, I guarantee you,
you will find that delightfully droll.

118
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,100
- Say, how about that sherry?
- Oh, yeah.

119
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:14,600
All right, then. Which you should know
is a fortified wine.

120
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,900
Oh, wow.
Frasier, you really know your stuff.

121
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:23,800
Look at these. Great paintings,
cool furniture, African sex toys.

122
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,900
This is how I should be living.

123
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,700
- How much you want for the place?
- Excuse me?

124
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,800
I could use a place in town.
Name your price.

125
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:40,300
Oh, no, Todd.
My humble home is not for sale.

126
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,700
But as luck would have it,

127
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,600
there happens to be a unit available
directly below mine.

128
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,100
This'll be great.
We'll be neighbours.

129
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:50,500
You can teach me to have
as much taste and style as you.

130
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:57,000
And I can do everything possible
to make you the biggest star on radio.

131
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,900
I knew one day you'd come.

132
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,100
FRASIER: Niles, mind if I join you?
NILES: Well, just for a little while.

133
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,000
I'm meeting Mel here.
Oh, reminds me...

134
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:23,000
Oh, dear. I am sorry to hear that.

135
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,200
Oh, no.
Actually, this is wonderful news.

136
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,300
She called. She said my days
of playing the devoted husband

137
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,700
are coming to an end.

138
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:35,100
Frasier, I think my wife
is finally going to dump me.

139
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,600
And they said it would last.

140
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,000
[BOTH LAUGHING]

141
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,500
You know, actually,
I'm celebrating a bit myself.

142
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:46,300
You see,
I have just become a mentor.

143
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,800
Good for you, Frasier.
Helping the underprivileged.

144
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,900
Actually, he's a billionaire.

145
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,200
Ah. The forgotten minority.

146
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,400
No, it's the new station owner.

147
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,400
For heaven's sake.
You're mentoring your boss?

148
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,300
How did you flatter your way
into that job?

149
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,500
No, Niles, I didn't.
The boy practically begged me.

150
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,900
I mean, he got rich overnight

151
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:10,700
and he's hardly had time
to shed his fraternity house ways.

152
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,800
Sounds like an enormous project.

153
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,600
Well, I am a teacher at heart,
after all.

154
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,500
You know, last night,
I took him to <i>Le Café de Parade</i>

155
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:23,800
to practise sending back wine.

156
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:25,600
[PHONE RINGING]

157
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,400
Excuse me.

158
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:34,500
Hello? Ah! Todd, yes,
we were just talking about you.

159
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:37,000
Yes. No, no, no.

160
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:40,300
Never French cuffs
with a button-down collar.

161
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,700
- He's being fitted by Javier.
- Very nice.

162
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:47,100
The long collar? Yes.
What sort of stripes?

163
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:50,500
Don't move, I'll be right down there.
I have got to go.

164
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,800
- Mel.
- Frasier. You're looking...

165
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,500
And you. We must do this again.

166
00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:01,300
- Hello, Niles.
- Mel, hello.

167
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:05,300
Well, I gather things
are coming to an end.

168
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,700
Thank you
for being true to your word.

169
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,600
And thank you for doing
such a good job in phase one.

170
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,200
Phase one?

171
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,800
Well, Niles, it occurred to me
that if we end things now,

172
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:20,300
people will wonder why,
when, you know, we've been so happy.

173
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,900
So I've decided that it's not so much
that I'm going to leave you

174
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,800
- as you're going to drive me away.
- How?

175
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,600
Through a series of staged events

176
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,700
in which you will thoroughly
humiliate yourself

177
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,800
by playing the part
of a complete ass.

178
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:37,400
For instance, this weekend,
we're going to the opera.

179
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:40,600
I see, I see. So you want me
to hog the opera glasses

180
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,400
and remain seated during the ovation,
something of that nature?

181
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,700
- Well, I suppose I could manage it.
- No, not quite.

182
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,200
At the intermission, invariably,
some board member

183
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:53,100
will come over to say hello,
and I want you to fly into a jealous rage

184
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,500
and throw a drink at him.

185
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,000
That is unthinkable.
I have a reputation in this town

186
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,400
and nothing will make me
behave that way.

187
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:07,900
Well, looks like we're
going to be married for a long time.

188
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:18,100
I'll see you
at <i>Schwande die Dudelsackpfeifer.</i>

189
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,600
Oh. What are you two doing here?
Todd's apartment's one floor down.

190
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,900
We know, but why walk
into his housewarming alone

191
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,000
when we can go in with his idol?

192
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:37,000
Oh, please. I'm hardly his idol.

193
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,300
- I'm a paragon at best.
- What's that?

194
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,300
Oh, it's just a little something
that Todd admired when he was over.

195
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,400
I didn't know
we were supposed to bring gifts.

196
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,800
Oh, I'm screwed.

197
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,600
I am so fired.

198
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,600
God, why did I give my wife the
go-ahead for that above-ground pool?

199
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:56,000
Better calm down, Kenny. I gave you
my last pair of dress shields.

200
00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:00,100
Now, remember, Todd has had people
working round the clock

201
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:04,400
transforming his apartment
into his vision of style and taste.

202
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:07,400
Now, no matter how primitive
we may think it is, it's best to be kind.

203
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,500
We don't wanna stifle
his budding creativity.

204
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:13,800
You also don't wanna stifle
that fat syndication deal

205
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,400
he's putting together for you.

206
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,700
Oh, Roz, you are so cynical.

207
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,900
That's why you could never
be a mentor.

208
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,900
[DOORBELL RINGS]

209
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,900
Hey, guys, come on in.

210
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,000
FRASIER:
Well, hello, Niles.

211
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:45,600
Say, if memory serves, you went
to the opera with Mel last night.

212
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,500
So did you cause a public spectacle?

213
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:49,400
I didn't read anything
in the society pages.

214
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,600
No, well,
it didn't go exactly as I expected.

215
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,200
At intermission, I got my drink

216
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,900
and waited for someone
to approach Mel.

217
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,200
And finally someone did.

218
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,800
Founders' Circle stalwart
Ace Lemieux.

219
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:03,600
I coiled, panther-like, ready
to fling my drink on his shirt front,

220
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:08,200
when I noticed he was wearing that
wool crepe hand-tailored tuxedo of his.

221
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,400
Well, you know, l...

222
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:14,400
I couldn't raise my hand
against such a magnificent garment.

223
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,700
Niles, that tux is a blend
and you know it.

224
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,600
Yes, yes, of course I know it.

225
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,800
Frasier, I just couldn't do it.

226
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:27,400
That kind of loutish behaviour,
it's just not in my nature.

227
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,900
Of course, Niles.
That goes without saying.

228
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,600
Just remember
for whom you're doing all this.

229
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,600
Believe me, Daphne is the only thing

230
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:37,600
that is keeping me going
through all of this.

231
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,100
Tonight I'm supposed to meet Mel
for dinner at Chez Henri

232
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:44,400
and make an ass of myself
in front of her society friends.

233
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,900
Oh, Lord. Chez Henri.

234
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:53,100
Their menu is just the culinary
minefield to test Todd's mettle.

235
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,600
Oh, your young protégé.
How's that coming along?

236
00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,200
Actually, things have taken
a bit of an odd turn.

237
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:02,100
You see, yesterday,
I went to his housewarming party.

238
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,700
As it turns out, to my surprise...

239
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,200
...he has duplicated
my apartment exactly.

240
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,800
Exactly?

241
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,400
The only thing missing
is an old man and a little dog.

242
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,600
I was beside myself.

243
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,300
Well, of course you were.
I assume you read him the riot act.

244
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:26,300
Well, he is my boss.
He has big plans for my show.

245
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:28,500
Do I really wanna jeopardise that?

246
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:31,700
There's Todd now.
Uh, Todd, over here.

247
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,100
I'd like you to meet my brother,
Niles Crane.

248
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,200
- Niles, this is Todd Peterson.
NILES: Hello.

249
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:40,600
Oh, and may I say,
what a lovely outfit.

250
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,100
Hope you got the volume discount.

251
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,400
Guess who's officially hooked
on classics?

252
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:52,100
Oh, well, good for you.
Good for you.

253
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,900
Now, Todd, I'd like to talk to you
about your apartment.

254
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,100
- You don't like it.
- No, no, I do like it.

255
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:02,000
- I've liked it for eight years.
- So, what's the problem?

256
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,300
Well, I was hoping that my influence
would help you to find your own style,

257
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,800
not that you would simply
duplicate mine.

258
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,800
What am I doing?

259
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,900
I'm in way over my head here...
Let's admit it.

260
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,800
- With all this culture stuff.

261
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,900
I should just stick to what I know,
computers. I'm a computer guy.

262
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,000
No, Todd, you know, perhaps we just
took on a bit too much too soon.

263
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,600
I need to move back to San Jose,

264
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,600
sell the apartment,
sell the radio station...

265
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,700
Steady at the wheel, Todd.

266
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,700
Now, listen.

267
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,000
All we're really talking about is a couple
of couches and some coffee tables.

268
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,200
But you said we shouldn't have
the same apartment.

269
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,100
Yes, and we shouldn't.

270
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:46,100
But perhaps I'm being too hasty

271
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:50,100
about which of us
should be doing the changing.

272
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:54,700
Perhaps I'm holding on too tight
to my possessions.

273
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,000
Décor is, after all, a fluid art.

274
00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,900
- Should I be writing this down?
- No, no, Todd, no.

275
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,800
Listen, Todd.

276
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:05,600
I want you to keep the apartment
the way it is.

277
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:09,100
After all, it's a look
that has served me well,

278
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,100
but it's time that I move on.

279
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:15,500
- Thank you, Frasier.
- No, thank you, Todd.

280
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,900
Hey, you wanna come see
my new car?

281
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,100
I have a feeling you're gonna like it.

282
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,600
I have a feeling I will.

283
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,000
Niles, you have been behaving
like a perfect gentleman all night.

284
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:34,100
Now, cut it out,
and do something offensive.

285
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,400
I don't know at which table
you've been sitting.

286
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,800
Did you not just see me
unapologetically take the last roll?

287
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:42,400
I need more than that
and you know it.

288
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,500
Now, my friends are giving you
plenty to work with.

289
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:47,600
Andrew has been drinking like a fish,

290
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:51,000
and Margaret is wearing
that revolting dress again.

291
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,900
Yow. I'm glad you're on my side.

292
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,100
I can do this.

293
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:59,000
- Sorry, everyone.
- Sorry, sorry.

294
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:03,900
Oh, you newlyweds.
Just can't be apart for one second.

295
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:07,300
Oh, the bill. Well, we're not finished.

296
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,200
We still have wine.
Would anyone like a refill?

297
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,200
I'm a little dry.

298
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:13,600
[CLEARS THROAT]

299
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:17,900
Dry?
I know that's not your liver speaking.

300
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,900
Niles, we just discussed
you were not going to bring that up.

301
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:29,500
Well, I did, so there.
And I'll say it again.

302
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:33,600
You're probably seeing two of me,
so you might as well hear me twice.

303
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,600
You, sir, are a complete drunk.

304
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,600
- Niles, how could you...?
- Well...

305
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,400
How could you know?

306
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,200
I thought I was hiding it so well.

307
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,100
I have a problem. It's time I face it.

308
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,500
I've been meaning to say something,
but I didn't have the courage.

309
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:02,800
Not like Niles.
You're a good person.

310
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,100
I'm getting help first thing tomorrow.

311
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,600
I'm so sorry, baby.

312
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,400
Thank you
for giving me my husband back.

313
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,800
Mel, darling, you married an angel.

314
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,200
Don't I know it.

315
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:32,500
Ah. Dad, what do you think
of the new look?

316
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:37,500
Nice stuff.
You really tied the flow to the motif.

317
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:40,700
Thanks for trying.

318
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:43,600
- Well, shall we give it a test run?
- Yeah.

319
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:45,000
A little music.

320
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:48,300
[INSTRUMENTAL GUITAR MUSIC
PLAYS ON STEREO]

321
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,700
Dad.

322
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:45,000
Looks great, son.

323
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,500
- There's nothing here.
- I know.

324
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:54,600
I give up.
I've tried a million combinations.

325
00:18:55,500 --> 00:19:00,400
I even had early Byzantine
mingling with mid-century Danish.

326
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,800
Will they ever get along?

327
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,600
The only furniture that looks good
in my apartment is my own.

328
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000
Well, I could have told you that
three love seats ago.

329
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,900
So what are you waiting for?
Go bring it back.

330
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:19,000
Well, I'm glad I went
to three different stores

331
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,100
to find your organic furniture polish.

332
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,000
Well, Daphne, chin up. You can
always use it to polish the floors.

333
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,300
Oh, yes. When God closes a door,
he opens a window.

334
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:32,200
You know, Dad,
even if I do get my furniture back,

335
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,700
it doesn't solve anything.

336
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,400
There's still someone downstairs
with my apartment.

337
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,100
That's not your apartment.
This is your apartment.

338
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,700
And if every stooge
in the building rips you off,

339
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,200
it doesn't take anything away from you,
because you were the original.

340
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,100
I am, aren't I?

341
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,100
And I did, after all, create that look,

342
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,300
and that should be
gratification enough.

343
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,600
Good for you, son.

344
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,100
[DOORBELL RINGS]

345
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,300
I mean, besides, you know,
Todd's hardly ever here.

346
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,100
He doesn't have very many friends.

347
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,200
The only person who's ever gonna see
that apartment

348
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,900
is probably the Pizza Hut
delivery boy.

349
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,000
- Todd, come on in.
- Hey, Fras.

350
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:18,300
I just need to know the name
of the chick who made our couch.

351
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,100
Oh, right. It's a reproduction
of the one Coco Chanel had

352
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,100
in her Paris atelier. But why?

353
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,500
The writer from <i>Architectural Digest</i>
wants to know.

354
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:29,900
<i>Architectural Digest?</i>

355
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,800
They're doing a huge cover story
on my apartment.

356
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,600
And I have you to thank for it, buddy.

357
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:39,700
Well, I gotta go.
The photographer's waiting. Later.

358
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,300
I need to sit down.