1
00:00:08,693 --> 00:00:10,278
Oh, don't you look nice.

2
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:14,449
Yeah, Frasier wanted me dressed
up for this mystery lunch of his.

3
00:00:14,616 --> 00:00:16,908
He hasn't told you what
the occasion is either?

4
00:00:16,992 --> 00:00:19,285
No, but I'm sure it's
something very important.

5
00:00:19,369 --> 00:00:23,665
I'm sure he wants to unveil his
new antique Elizabethan egg timer.

6
00:00:23,832 --> 00:00:25,167
[BOTH CHUCKLING]

7
00:00:25,334 --> 00:00:28,878
Yeah, or debut his
pre-Columbian spoon rest.

8
00:00:29,545 --> 00:00:30,754
-Hello, all.
-MARTIN: Hey.

9
00:00:30,838 --> 00:00:33,215
Well, Dad, I see you're ready to roll.

10
00:00:33,382 --> 00:00:36,093
Can you tell us what kind of
restaurant you're taking us to?

11
00:00:36,177 --> 00:00:37,303
Patience, Dad.

12
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:41,514
Roz will be here in a few minutes, then
we'll be off and all will be revealed.

13
00:00:41,723 --> 00:00:43,391
So how did it go with the doctor?

14
00:00:43,558 --> 00:00:46,269
Judging by that smile, I'm
guessing your cholesterol's down.

15
00:00:46,353 --> 00:00:49,938
Well, after several weeks of watching
my diet and taking my medication

16
00:00:50,147 --> 00:00:53,567
and race-walking every
Tuesday, it hasn't budged.

17
00:00:53,776 --> 00:00:57,576
The good news is that I've developed
bursitis to help take my mind off of it.

18
00:00:58,489 --> 00:01:01,157
The doctor says it's all
just a matter of aging.

19
00:01:01,324 --> 00:01:03,724
Well, no reason to let
it ruin our festive lunch.

20
00:01:03,868 --> 00:01:06,036
You don't forget that trip to the doctor.

21
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,288
FRASIER: Oh, no.

22
00:01:07,372 --> 00:01:09,164
He says, "There's
nothing I can do for you.

23
00:01:09,248 --> 00:01:11,625
You're just getting old, sport."

24
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:14,586
In my case it was "slugger,"
but that was the gist.

25
00:01:14,795 --> 00:01:17,422
You know what I realized, when
people reach our stage of life…

26
00:01:17,506 --> 00:01:20,341
Dad, please, with all due respect,
when it comes to life's journeys,

27
00:01:20,425 --> 00:01:21,975
you and I do not share a stage.

28
00:01:23,636 --> 00:01:25,680
We're not even in the same theater.

29
00:01:26,263 --> 00:01:28,348
You're taking this all
very cheerfully, Dr. Crane.

30
00:01:28,432 --> 00:01:29,684
[DOORBELL RINGS]

31
00:01:29,850 --> 00:01:32,810
Well, why shouldn't I?
In many ways, my life couldn't be better.

32
00:01:32,894 --> 00:01:35,188
I mean, by and large I'm in good health.

33
00:01:35,397 --> 00:01:39,776
There is a promising new relationship
on the horizon with the lovely Rachel.

34
00:01:39,984 --> 00:01:41,528
My career is thriving…

35
00:01:41,695 --> 00:01:43,946
-Did you say thriving or diving?
-What?

36
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:47,621
-Look at these ratings.
-Roz, that's nothing to worry about.

37
00:01:47,783 --> 00:01:49,826
For God's sakes.
They're just leveling off.

38
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,078
That's what tends to
happen when you hit bottom.

39
00:01:52,162 --> 00:01:54,414
Look, there's no cause
for alarm here, Roz.

40
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:57,291
The important thing is we
go on doing a quality show.

41
00:01:57,458 --> 00:01:59,585
-How about some quality lunch?
-Splendid idea.

42
00:01:59,669 --> 00:02:01,920
Off we go then.
Oh, Niles will be joining us there.

43
00:02:02,004 --> 00:02:03,172
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

44
00:02:03,339 --> 00:02:05,174
Oh, excuse me.

45
00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:06,675
Hello?

46
00:02:06,842 --> 00:02:09,845
Ah, Rachel, yes. Uh…

47
00:02:10,262 --> 00:02:12,431
<i>Momentito.</i>

48
00:02:13,098 --> 00:02:14,850
So is Donny going to be joining us?

49
00:02:15,016 --> 00:02:17,017
No, he's got wedding
business this afternoon.

50
00:02:17,101 --> 00:02:19,729
-He's composing our vows.
-Oh, isn't that romantic?

51
00:02:19,937 --> 00:02:22,837
He's not exactly Wordsworth
strolling through a shady glen.

52
00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:25,525
When I left, he was lying
on the couch in his underwear

53
00:02:25,609 --> 00:02:28,959
with a tin of Vienna sausages and
a rhyming dictionary on his chest.

54
00:02:30,572 --> 00:02:32,948
Well, remember that new
relationship on the horizon?

55
00:02:33,032 --> 00:02:35,076
-ROZ: Yeah?
-It got married in Vegas last night.

56
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,870
MARTIN: Ohh.

57
00:02:38,579 --> 00:02:40,747
Great, you don't have a
date for Daphne's wedding.

58
00:02:40,831 --> 00:02:43,041
I'll find a date.
Don't worry, Roz. Lunch awaits.

59
00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:45,126
-Hey, great.
-ROZ: Why don't we go together?

60
00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:48,088
No, Roz, I assure you, my
dance card will be punched.

61
00:02:48,297 --> 00:02:49,672
By who?

62
00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:53,426
Oh, I don't know right now.
It's just that I will be Crane plus one.

63
00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:56,553
Just in case you don't get a date,
what time would you pick me up?

64
00:02:56,637 --> 00:02:58,305
-I'm getting a date.
-ROZ: Just in case.

65
00:02:58,389 --> 00:03:00,807
-I'm getting a date.
-What time are you picking her up?

66
00:03:00,891 --> 00:03:02,892
-Three o'clock.
-Well, can you make it 3:30?

67
00:03:02,976 --> 00:03:04,811
I'm getting a date.

68
00:03:09,983 --> 00:03:11,483
DAPHNE: So, what's the big occasion?

69
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:14,486
Wait for it. Let the moment build.
Besides, Niles hasn't arrived yet.

70
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:15,862
I'd be surprised if he came.

71
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:18,073
-He's terrified of this place.
-Still?

72
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:21,327
-My God, it's been 30 years.
-What happened?

73
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,869
Esther and I brought the
boys here when they were kids,

74
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:26,403
Niles was running, bumped
into the dessert trolley

75
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:30,418
and Stefano got hot and yelled at him,
and Niles got terrified, and he, well…

76
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,128
-He vomited.
-Right.

77
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:34,963
All over Stefano's shoes.

78
00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:38,530
He ran out, hid behind the car and
he hasn't been back in here since.

79
00:03:38,675 --> 00:03:39,843
Poor little weenie.

80
00:03:41,136 --> 00:03:43,805
Hey, Dr. Crane.

81
00:03:43,971 --> 00:03:47,141
Oh, good to see you, Stefano. How are you?

82
00:03:47,308 --> 00:03:49,560
-Allow me to introduce Daphne Moon.
-STEFANO: Yes.

83
00:03:49,644 --> 00:03:51,944
-My father, Martin.
-Yes, hello, how are you?

84
00:03:52,063 --> 00:03:54,689
-And this is…
-Hey, we all know Roz.

85
00:03:55,899 --> 00:03:57,651
All right, what today?

86
00:03:57,818 --> 00:04:00,218
We've got some special
dishes for you, Dr. Crane.

87
00:04:00,362 --> 00:04:03,031
-Porcini, fresh from Napoli.
-Oh, well…

88
00:04:03,198 --> 00:04:04,491
And for me?

89
00:04:04,699 --> 00:04:07,409
Giorgio, fresh from Sicily.

90
00:04:07,618 --> 00:04:09,078
Can I get him to go?

91
00:04:09,286 --> 00:04:10,371
You bet.

92
00:04:10,579 --> 00:04:13,457
Okay, now, I'm gonna be
waiting on you myself today, okay?

93
00:04:13,666 --> 00:04:16,793
-Just give me a minute. I come back.
-FRASIER: <i>Grazie.</i>

94
00:04:17,001 --> 00:04:18,336
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

95
00:04:18,503 --> 00:04:20,672
Oh, excuse me. Mm-hm.

96
00:04:22,423 --> 00:04:24,133
Hello?

97
00:04:24,425 --> 00:04:25,844
Yes, hello, Niles.

98
00:04:26,718 --> 00:04:27,761
Oh, really?

99
00:04:28,554 --> 00:04:29,847
Oh, what a shame.

100
00:04:30,055 --> 00:04:31,806
-Told you.
-FRASIER: That's all right.

101
00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:34,809
If your patient is having a
crisis, you'd better address it.

102
00:04:34,893 --> 00:04:39,772
Before it turns into a crippling,
immature, lifelong problem.

103
00:04:41,023 --> 00:04:42,923
You're not really mad at him, are you?

104
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,652
Well, of course I'm mad at him.

105
00:04:44,819 --> 00:04:47,154
I'm gonna give him a piece
of my mind at dinner tonight.

106
00:04:47,238 --> 00:04:50,740
Tonight? Oh, I was hoping you
could come to Alice's birthday party.

107
00:04:50,949 --> 00:04:53,785
My balloon-animal guy canceled,
and I could really use your help.

108
00:04:53,869 --> 00:04:57,469
I'm sorry. Niles made the reservations
a month ago. It's at Quelquechose.

109
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,373
Fine.

110
00:04:59,582 --> 00:05:02,732
If Niles isn't coming, you can
tell us what the big surprise is.

111
00:05:03,794 --> 00:05:05,337
Oh, all right, I'll spill.

112
00:05:05,754 --> 00:05:07,006
For over 60 years,

113
00:05:07,172 --> 00:05:10,717
Stefano's has immortalized
Seattle's famous faces on its walls,

114
00:05:10,884 --> 00:05:12,343
as you can see.

115
00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:15,722
With one notable exception.

116
00:05:17,432 --> 00:05:19,934
It's me.
Stefano's unveiling the portrait today.

117
00:05:20,143 --> 00:05:21,560
DAPHNE: Oh, wonderful.

118
00:05:21,768 --> 00:05:25,605
That's what I'll do for Alice's party.
I'll get a cartoonist to draw the kids.

119
00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:26,939
That's an excellent idea.

120
00:05:27,024 --> 00:05:29,674
Let's not forget why we're here.
Anybody have a toast?

121
00:05:29,776 --> 00:05:31,820
Okay, Dr. Crane, here it is.

122
00:05:31,986 --> 00:05:33,036
FRASIER: My portrait?

123
00:05:33,195 --> 00:05:34,947
No, it's today's specials.

124
00:05:35,114 --> 00:05:38,910
Of course, it's your portrait. Would
you like to say a few words? Come on.

125
00:05:39,076 --> 00:05:40,912
Well, if you insist.

126
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,663
[FRASIER, STEFANO CHUCKLING]

127
00:05:46,708 --> 00:05:51,338
Before we unveil this picture,
permit me to paint one of my own.

128
00:05:51,546 --> 00:05:54,048
A picture of a young Frasier Crane.

129
00:05:54,256 --> 00:05:58,552
Wide-eyed, gazing at the
walls of Stefano's and wondering,

130
00:05:58,761 --> 00:06:00,596
"Who's that?"

131
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:05,391
Well, little did I suspect that one
day my picture would be on the wall.

132
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:08,478
And perhaps now other
children will come in,

133
00:06:08,686 --> 00:06:12,440
gaze at it, and wonder, "Who's that?"

134
00:06:12,649 --> 00:06:15,567
I'm betting that's gonna happen a lot.

135
00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:18,862
So thank you, Stefano, for this honor.

136
00:06:19,029 --> 00:06:21,365
Thank you for suggesting it.

137
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,786
And now, may I present,

138
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:31,499
<i>Il dot tore.</i> Dr. Frasier Crane.

139
00:06:40,256 --> 00:06:43,006
Fras, will you let it go?
It's a perfectly nice picture.

140
00:06:43,134 --> 00:06:44,594
Oh?

141
00:06:44,761 --> 00:06:50,057
So nothing about it jumped out at
you as, oh, I don't know, encephalitic?

142
00:06:50,265 --> 00:06:53,268
So they gave you a big forehead.
Who cares? It makes you look smart.

143
00:06:53,352 --> 00:06:55,202
Makes me look like I discovered fire.

144
00:06:56,563 --> 00:07:00,274
Here, Frasier, I was leaving you a
note apologizing for that flimsy excuse.

145
00:07:00,441 --> 00:07:04,654
I'm sorry. The thought of going back
there got my stomach doing flip-flops.

146
00:07:07,115 --> 00:07:10,701
Oh, by the way, Daphne, the
doorman gave me this for you.

147
00:07:10,909 --> 00:07:12,160
No, it's for Donny.

148
00:07:12,369 --> 00:07:14,955
Uh, no, it's for Mrs. Donny Douglas.

149
00:07:15,163 --> 00:07:18,083
Funny. That's the first time
I've seen my name like that.

150
00:07:18,291 --> 00:07:20,918
Well, get used to it.
That's you in a couple of weeks.

151
00:07:21,002 --> 00:07:23,295
So how was lunch?
What was the big surprise?

152
00:07:23,504 --> 00:07:26,632
-Don't ask. The less said, the better.
-They put his picture on the wall.

153
00:07:26,716 --> 00:07:29,135
He thinks his forehead
looks a touch too big.

154
00:07:29,301 --> 00:07:30,886
A touch?

155
00:07:31,387 --> 00:07:34,681
I look like a fugitive from Easter Island.

156
00:07:37,767 --> 00:07:40,437
Frasier, you always think
you look bad in pictures.

157
00:07:40,645 --> 00:07:42,562
This is not some photo I can throw away.

158
00:07:42,646 --> 00:07:44,946
This is a picture of me
in a famous restaurant.

159
00:07:45,107 --> 00:07:47,651
God, I've dreamed my
entire life of being on that wall.

160
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:50,695
Now you are. Are you really so
vain that that's not honor enough?

161
00:07:50,779 --> 00:07:53,906
Vanity has nothing to do with it.
It's about misrepresentation.

162
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:57,994
You know, if I were you, I would be
careful about bandying the word vain,

163
00:07:58,161 --> 00:08:00,496
Mr. 250-dollar Haircut.

164
00:08:01,789 --> 00:08:04,167
I have problem follicles.

165
00:08:08,336 --> 00:08:11,548
Frasier, it's a caricature.
They exaggerate stuff.

166
00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:14,760
Now, if it were me, they
would've drawn maybe a big cane.

167
00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:19,764
If it were Niles, they'd draw a barber
cutting the hair off a giant sucker.

168
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,686
I know you're sensitive
about your big forehead

169
00:08:26,895 --> 00:08:28,730
but we all have stuff like that.

170
00:08:28,938 --> 00:08:31,941
With me it's my eyes.
I've always fancied sparkling blue ones

171
00:08:32,108 --> 00:08:33,902
instead of dull old brown.

172
00:08:34,110 --> 00:08:35,403
Your eyes?

173
00:08:35,612 --> 00:08:36,904
Your eyes are not dull.

174
00:08:37,613 --> 00:08:39,782
Thank you, Dr. Crane, that's very nice.

175
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:43,702
Well, they're… They're warm and… And, uh…

176
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,039
Full of life.

177
00:08:47,414 --> 00:08:50,166
You have beautiful eyes too.

178
00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:54,754
Oh, goodness.

179
00:08:54,962 --> 00:08:57,924
I can't be lollygagging around here.
I have to…

180
00:08:58,132 --> 00:09:00,383
To get Dr. Crane his oat bran.

181
00:09:00,592 --> 00:09:02,135
Oat bran? Now?

182
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:03,803
You'll need it for the morning.

183
00:09:03,887 --> 00:09:06,639
You've got to have something
to sop up all that nasty cholesterol

184
00:09:06,723 --> 00:09:07,598
gumming up your heart.

185
00:09:07,682 --> 00:09:11,268
If not, I'm liable to come home
and find you face down on the floor

186
00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:13,185
with the dog gnawing off your foot.

187
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:16,565
And I'm not making that up either.
That happened. Cheerio.

188
00:09:18,818 --> 00:09:21,945
I wish she moved that
fast when I'm out of beer.

189
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:26,199
Well, I should be off too. Are we
still on for dinner at Quelquechose?

190
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,491
FRASIER: Yes, of course.

191
00:09:27,575 --> 00:09:28,951
NILES: You might wanna call and confirm.

192
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:30,485
Yes, I'll make a mental note.

193
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:33,163
Be careful you don't lose it
inside that giant puppet head.

194
00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:34,998
FRASIER: Goodbye, Niles.

195
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:38,961
Giant puppet head, indeed.

196
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:42,628
Let it go. What are you gonna do?
Go down there and make him change it?

197
00:09:42,755 --> 00:09:45,007
Just accept it for the honor it is.

198
00:09:45,216 --> 00:09:47,116
That's all. You know, I don't get you.

199
00:09:47,218 --> 00:09:49,618
Doctor gives you bad
news, you take it in stride.

200
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,098
-But one bad picture…
-Yes, thank you, Dad.

201
00:09:52,265 --> 00:09:55,892
Hello? Yes, I'm calling
about a reservation tonight.

202
00:09:56,143 --> 00:09:58,436
For two. Crane.

203
00:09:58,603 --> 00:10:02,858
Well, what can I say but I
just love your food, Stefano.

204
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:08,154
I'm in the mood for Italian.

205
00:10:13,033 --> 00:10:14,535
Will you come along, Niles?

206
00:10:14,743 --> 00:10:17,161
NILES: I'd really rather not.
I'm feeling queasy standing here.

207
00:10:17,245 --> 00:10:19,745
You can hardly see the picture from there.
Come on.

208
00:10:19,831 --> 00:10:21,832
All right, let's just be quick about this.

209
00:10:21,916 --> 00:10:24,585
-Hello. Do you have a reservation?
-Uh, yes, for Crane.

210
00:10:24,669 --> 00:10:26,086
One moment.

211
00:10:26,253 --> 00:10:27,296
You tricked me.

212
00:10:27,504 --> 00:10:29,589
We'll just be here long
enough to talk to Stefano,

213
00:10:29,673 --> 00:10:33,301
convince him to change it, so it doesn't
mock me for the rest of the my life.

214
00:10:33,385 --> 00:10:36,179
He has a violent temper, he's
already made me humiliate myself.

215
00:10:36,263 --> 00:10:40,063
I can't believe you're letting a minor
childhood trauma like this plague you.

216
00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:43,102
You know, this may be the root
of your fear of authority figures.

217
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:46,189
Listen, a nice relaxing
dinner here may go a long way

218
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:48,022
toward helping you resolve this problem.

219
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:52,611
<i>-Dottore,</i> how nice to see you.
-Ha-ha-ha. Stefano, good to see you.

220
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,654
Who is this gentleman? He looks familiar.

221
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,573
Oh, this is my brother Niles.

222
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,450
Oh, of course.
You have the family forehead. Come on.

223
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:04,580
Follow me. Hey, Antonio, slow down.

224
00:11:04,788 --> 00:11:06,040
[YELLING IN ITALIAN]

225
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,167
What's the matter with you?

226
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:11,002
Come on. Come on, sit down.
We have a nice table.

227
00:11:11,169 --> 00:11:12,212
Oh, thank you.

228
00:11:12,378 --> 00:11:16,090
Right under your picture.
Okay, tonight, no menu.

229
00:11:16,299 --> 00:11:19,844
I'm gonna take care of everything.
Except the bill, of course.

230
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:28,435
Well, there it is.

231
00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,270
Frasier Cranium.

232
00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:39,111
Well, it does have a certain
under-nuanced, over-contoured,

233
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,572
Macy's Parade kind of quality but…

234
00:11:42,822 --> 00:11:45,658
Even so, you cannot ask him to change it.
The man will explode.

235
00:11:45,742 --> 00:11:48,078
Not if I do it with the utmost tact.

236
00:11:48,286 --> 00:11:53,082
-Okay, here we are. Antipasto.
-FRASIER, NILES: Oh!

237
00:11:53,249 --> 00:11:54,499
That's wonderful, Stefano.

238
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:57,252
You certainly do have a way of
making people feel comfortable.

239
00:11:57,336 --> 00:12:01,632
I suspect that it would
actually physically pain you

240
00:12:01,799 --> 00:12:05,176
to think that someone
wasn't totally pleased.

241
00:12:05,718 --> 00:12:06,969
-What's wrong?
-NILES: Mm-mm.

242
00:12:07,053 --> 00:12:12,100
Well, actually, well, there
is a tiny, tiny little problem.

243
00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:15,352
It's really about my picture, you see.

244
00:12:15,519 --> 00:12:21,650
There is a small faction that
thinks the forehead is too large.

245
00:12:21,858 --> 00:12:25,528
-What, this one?
-No, I love it.

246
00:12:28,698 --> 00:12:34,370
As do I. It's just that, well, I
feel I might be more recognizable

247
00:12:34,537 --> 00:12:37,455
if the forehead were a tad smaller.

248
00:12:37,664 --> 00:12:40,664
-You don't like it? Not good enough?
-Not that. Yes, it is.

249
00:12:40,792 --> 00:12:43,128
-You want me to have it changed?
-Could you?

250
00:12:47,089 --> 00:12:48,674
How long is this going to take?

251
00:12:48,841 --> 00:12:52,594
Well, Niles, I was fortunate enough
that the artist is actually here tonight.

252
00:12:52,678 --> 00:12:55,178
I'm not gonna rush him.
Better finish your lasagna.

253
00:12:55,264 --> 00:12:57,891
-You don't want to offend Stefano.
-Offend him?

254
00:12:58,099 --> 00:13:01,269
So far tonight, I have had
the prosciutto di Parma,

255
00:13:01,436 --> 00:13:03,688
the pesto Genovese,
and the Venetian sea bass.

256
00:13:03,855 --> 00:13:08,151
One more bite will conclude our tour
of Italy with my impression of Pompeii.

257
00:13:09,609 --> 00:13:12,571
Hey, hey, look who it is.

258
00:13:12,779 --> 00:13:15,073
They'll let anyone in this joint.

259
00:13:15,282 --> 00:13:16,450
Hello, Kenny.

260
00:13:16,616 --> 00:13:19,202
So, what are you celebrating?
Not your ratings, huh?

261
00:13:19,411 --> 00:13:20,661
I'm kidding.

262
00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:22,330
-You gotta kid.
-Yes.

263
00:13:22,496 --> 00:13:24,874
If you don't laugh, you cry, right?

264
00:13:25,499 --> 00:13:28,210
So did I hear a rumor you're
going up on the wall of fame?

265
00:13:28,294 --> 00:13:30,962
Oh, yes, they're putting the
finishing touches on right on.

266
00:13:31,046 --> 00:13:32,422
Isn't that something?

267
00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:34,430
Hey, hey, you better save some room.

268
00:13:34,591 --> 00:13:37,218
Stefano goes crazy if
you pass on his dessert.

269
00:13:37,427 --> 00:13:40,327
My mother found that out the
hard way on her 80th birthday.

270
00:13:40,513 --> 00:13:42,348
He went off on her.

271
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:46,727
Called her a skoonja-boon ja or something.

272
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,313
The kids had it memorized for a while.

273
00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:51,190
Well, enjoy.

274
00:13:51,357 --> 00:13:54,150
Okay, Dr. Crane. Hot off the easel.

275
00:13:54,359 --> 00:13:56,194
Is this one more to your liking?

276
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,488
-Oh, my.
-It's better?

277
00:13:58,696 --> 00:14:00,531
Well, it's like looking in a mirror.

278
00:14:00,698 --> 00:14:02,648
STEFANO: Hey, that's what I wanna hear.

279
00:14:03,533 --> 00:14:08,080
You know, this is the first time that
anybody has ever asked for a change.

280
00:14:08,288 --> 00:14:11,583
Oh, beautiful. You make me so happy.

281
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,418
I'm gonna see how the steaks are coming.

282
00:14:13,502 --> 00:14:14,752
FRASIER: Thank you.

283
00:14:16,337 --> 00:14:18,130
Frasier, I hate to burst your bubble

284
00:14:18,214 --> 00:14:21,425
but that picture looks
absolutely nothing like you.

285
00:14:21,717 --> 00:14:27,764
Well, well, I was wondering when
Mr. Envy would pull up a chair.

286
00:14:29,391 --> 00:14:33,311
Kenny, Kenny, if I may, could I
direct your attention to this caricature?

287
00:14:33,478 --> 00:14:36,688
-Wow, look at that. I am impressed.
-I thought you might be.

288
00:14:36,897 --> 00:14:38,774
James Garner eats here?

289
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:40,943
James Garner?

290
00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:42,694
Well, I guess I can go sit down now.

291
00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:44,878
My father-in-law just picked up the check.

292
00:14:46,781 --> 00:14:47,831
I don't believe this.

293
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:50,117
I've waited my entire
life to have my picture up.

294
00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:52,161
Now that it is, it's unrecognizable.

295
00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:53,413
Well, not for long.

296
00:14:53,579 --> 00:14:56,206
No, Frasier, you are not going
to ask him to change it again.

297
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:58,958
If this means so much to you,
my girlfriend's a plastic surgeon.

298
00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:02,442
She can have you looking like
this picture in six procedures or less.

299
00:15:02,796 --> 00:15:05,382
All right, here we are, boys, here we are.

300
00:15:05,549 --> 00:15:07,676
[STEFANO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

301
00:15:07,843 --> 00:15:09,343
-NILES: Ohh…
-FRASIER: Whoa.

302
00:15:09,510 --> 00:15:10,761
NILES: Thank you. <i>Grazie.</i>

303
00:15:10,928 --> 00:15:14,682
You know, there's been something
that's been bugging me all night.

304
00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:17,977
-Hey, shove over, will you?
-Oh, uh, yes.

305
00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:21,678
I know you from someplace,
and I can't figure out where

306
00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:23,940
and it's driving me <i>pazzo.</i>

307
00:15:24,441 --> 00:15:28,361
So we gotta figure this out
together, okay? You and me, all right?

308
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,987
You know, while you two are
strolling down memory lane,

309
00:15:31,071 --> 00:15:32,864
I have a quick errand I have to run.

310
00:15:32,948 --> 00:15:36,493
-I tell you, save some dessert for me.
-NILES: Frasier, Frasier.

311
00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:41,205
Oh, Roz.

312
00:15:41,372 --> 00:15:44,416
-Frasier. I knew you'd show up.
-Yes, well, of course I did.

313
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,794
You knew how much it
would mean to me and Alice.

314
00:15:46,878 --> 00:15:48,478
Oh, gosh, am I that transparent?

315
00:15:48,588 --> 00:15:50,881
Come on in. Come on.
Everybody, this is Frasier.

316
00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:52,174
Hello, hello, hi.

317
00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:56,595
Can I get you something?
Jell-O, Lunchables, a Pokémon punch?

318
00:15:56,761 --> 00:15:58,805
-You have any coffee made?
-No.

319
00:15:58,972 --> 00:16:00,348
FRASIER: That's perfect.

320
00:16:00,557 --> 00:16:04,518
I mean, while you're making coffee,
it'll give me quality time with Alice.

321
00:16:04,685 --> 00:16:06,687
[FRASIER CHUCKLING]

322
00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:14,360
-Hey, no cuts.
-No, I need a picture right away.

323
00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:16,237
-I'll tell.
-You know who this is?

324
00:16:16,321 --> 00:16:17,446
This is the birthday girl.

325
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:19,824
If she wants a picture right
away, she's gonna get one.

326
00:16:19,908 --> 00:16:21,367
Now, why don't you run along?

327
00:16:23,661 --> 00:16:26,061
All right, I think you're finished.
There we are.

328
00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:28,582
But I don't have any eyes.

329
00:16:28,749 --> 00:16:30,500
Yes, well, neither did Little Orphan Annie

330
00:16:30,584 --> 00:16:32,836
and she's got her own Broadway show.
Go on.

331
00:16:33,504 --> 00:16:35,654
Okay, fine.
I'm looking for something manly,

332
00:16:35,755 --> 00:16:38,090
go easy on the forehead,
and leave the kid out.

333
00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,268
Oh, Niles.

334
00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:52,312
Where the hell have you been?

335
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,314
Stefano's been trying to place
me for the last 40 minutes.

336
00:16:55,398 --> 00:16:58,567
Was I ever in Panama?
Did I sell him his first Lincoln?

337
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:01,445
Do I have a box at the dog track?

338
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,448
Why don't you say yes
and let that be the end of it?

339
00:17:04,532 --> 00:17:06,617
Well, that's a good idea.

340
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,079
-What's that?
-I went by Alice's birthday party.

341
00:17:11,246 --> 00:17:13,622
I had the artist there draw
me some new sketches.

342
00:17:13,706 --> 00:17:14,832
Here, what do you think?

343
00:17:14,916 --> 00:17:16,000
[NILES GASPS]

344
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:18,669
-I think you're insane.
-No, Niles, it's not so crazy.

345
00:17:18,753 --> 00:17:19,803
Really, just imagine.

346
00:17:19,962 --> 00:17:25,634
Suppose that picture there should
accidentally drop to the floor and tear?

347
00:17:25,801 --> 00:17:27,677
You see, I could come back here tomorrow,

348
00:17:27,761 --> 00:17:30,554
tell Stefano that I didn't want
to put his artist to any trouble

349
00:17:30,638 --> 00:17:32,347
and I had a new caricature done myself.

350
00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:34,516
You see, I'm actually
partial to this one here.

351
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,688
But there is one in here of me
playing soccer which is very good.

352
00:17:38,854 --> 00:17:40,523
Frasier, we'll put these away

353
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:43,441
and we'll pay the bill and
we'll find a bed to strap you into.

354
00:17:43,525 --> 00:17:45,985
No, no, no, this can work.
It really can. I promise you.

355
00:17:46,069 --> 00:17:47,869
-It's not gonna work.
-It can work.

356
00:17:48,029 --> 00:17:50,365
What is this? The pictures?

357
00:17:50,532 --> 00:17:53,082
It's nothing.
It's no business of yours. Off you go.

358
00:17:53,617 --> 00:17:56,662
Stefano? Stefano.

359
00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:59,081
Mama, what is it? What?

360
00:17:59,248 --> 00:18:00,548
[MAMA SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

361
00:18:00,666 --> 00:18:01,866
Dr. Crane, what is this?

362
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,377
Oh, all right.

363
00:18:04,544 --> 00:18:06,754
I may as well just tell you the truth.

364
00:18:06,963 --> 00:18:10,049
The fact is I don't really
care for this picture either.

365
00:18:10,216 --> 00:18:13,510
It's just that I'm afraid
your artist has lost his touch.

366
00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,637
To be honest, I think
he's robbing you blind.

367
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:18,221
I mean, my God, how much
is this hack charging you?

368
00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,142
[MAMA CRYING]

369
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,104
Mama's the hack, isn't she?

370
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:27,106
That's right.

371
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,317
-Son of a gun, get out of here.
-But…

372
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,735
And don't ever come back.

373
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,070
[YELLING IN ITALIAN]

374
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,700
You, hold on one second.
Now I remember you.

375
00:18:38,908 --> 00:18:40,243
Ohh.

376
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,537
Bridgeport, Connecticut.

377
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:45,624
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Right?

378
00:18:45,832 --> 00:18:48,083
My car got stuck in the
rain and you saved my ass.

379
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,544
Yes, well, it was nothing.
Glad you remember.

380
00:18:50,711 --> 00:18:53,297
Let me show you how we
thank you where I come from.

381
00:18:54,381 --> 00:18:56,133
NILES: Oh.

382
00:18:59,927 --> 00:19:01,429
Well, suffice it to say that

383
00:19:01,596 --> 00:19:04,181
the entire Crane family is
now banned from Stefano's.

384
00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:05,808
Just because of that dumb picture?

385
00:19:05,892 --> 00:19:09,186
No, no, actually, there was a
little incident involving Niles too.

386
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:14,316
He was doing just fine until Stefano
took him in some sort of a bear hug

387
00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:16,818
and shook him a little too vigorously.

388
00:19:18,153 --> 00:19:19,278
On the shoes again?

389
00:19:19,487 --> 00:19:23,574
No, this time there was a
conveniently placed lobster tank.

390
00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:25,618
Poor Niles.

391
00:19:25,826 --> 00:19:28,120
It wasn't any picnic
for the lobsters either.

392
00:19:29,788 --> 00:19:31,706
What the hell is wrong with me, Dad?
You know,

393
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:35,293
I became so obsessed with that
damn picture I completely lost my head.

394
00:19:35,502 --> 00:19:38,672
Well, I think I know
what's really going on here.

395
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,507
-Really? Well, enlighten us.
-Yeah.

396
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:45,115
Well, I think there's some stuff
in your life that you can't control.

397
00:19:45,302 --> 00:19:48,346
You doctor tells you you're getting old.
Your ratings are low.

398
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,641
You're not happy with your love life.

399
00:19:50,808 --> 00:19:53,058
And so I think you
obsessed about this picture

400
00:19:53,142 --> 00:19:56,742
because you figured it was something
in your life that you could control.

401
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:06,655
Well, Dad, you do raise a point.

402
00:20:08,323 --> 00:20:10,023
Oh, what the hell, you're dead on.

403
00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:11,951
Where'd you learn so
much about psychology?

404
00:20:12,035 --> 00:20:15,162
Oh, I listen to radio.

405
00:20:15,705 --> 00:20:18,374
It's so obvious, isn't it?
When a person is confronted

406
00:20:18,541 --> 00:20:21,585
with some deeply troubling issue
that they're not ready to face yet,

407
00:20:21,669 --> 00:20:24,503
they usually avoid the problem
by obsessing about something else.

408
00:20:24,587 --> 00:20:26,037
Something completely trivial.

409
00:20:26,673 --> 00:20:28,508
-Got it.
-Got what?

410
00:20:28,717 --> 00:20:30,009
Dr. Crane's oat bran.

411
00:20:30,176 --> 00:20:32,262
God, you left for that eight hours ago.

412
00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:35,597
Well, it wasn't easy.
They were out of it at the regular market.

413
00:20:35,681 --> 00:20:38,131
So I went to another
one, but they were out of it.

414
00:20:38,267 --> 00:20:42,145
So I looked into it, and it turns out
they don't sell it in Washington anymore.

415
00:20:42,229 --> 00:20:43,329
Well, for some reason,

416
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,441
I just couldn't let it go,
so I went for a little drive.

417
00:20:46,649 --> 00:20:49,234
It wouldn't kill you to do
something like that once in a while.

418
00:20:49,318 --> 00:20:52,572
Get off that big round duff of yours.

419
00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:56,284
Anyway, hop, skip and
a jump later, here it is.

420
00:20:56,451 --> 00:20:58,618
Fresh from Portland.

421
00:20:59,369 --> 00:21:01,663
Well, off to bed. Good night.

422
00:21:03,123 --> 00:21:04,374
What the hell was that?

423
00:21:04,541 --> 00:21:07,251
I don't know. What did she mean
about that big, round duff comment?

424
00:21:07,335 --> 00:21:08,419
Oh, Dad.

425
00:21:08,627 --> 00:21:11,964
You know, the sands of time
don't exactly flow up the hourglass.

426
00:21:13,424 --> 00:21:15,968
I mean, it's not easy for a guy our age.

427
00:21:16,177 --> 00:21:18,720
Dad, for the last time,
we are not the same age.

428
00:21:18,928 --> 00:21:20,763
I mean, I've seen your
hips start to spread.

429
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:23,697
Oh, for Pete's sake, my hips
have nothing to do with this.

430
00:21:29,646 --> 00:21:31,690
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]