1
00:00:10,389 --> 00:00:13,350
-Oh, Dad.
-It's not here yet.

2
00:00:13,559 --> 00:00:15,853
-How did you…
-You've been yakking for weeks.

3
00:00:15,937 --> 00:00:18,940
Your new blazer's coming.
It's Italian, it's hand-stitched.

4
00:00:19,107 --> 00:00:21,068
It costs more money than my first car.

5
00:00:21,277 --> 00:00:22,820
It's made from expensive material.

6
00:00:22,904 --> 00:00:25,573
They have to find exactly
the right kind of goat.

7
00:00:25,782 --> 00:00:26,909
Looks like they did.

8
00:00:28,035 --> 00:00:30,996
Good morning, Dr. Crane.
I made you a special breakfast.

9
00:00:31,163 --> 00:00:34,709
-FRASIER: Thank you, Daphne.
-Blazer Day comes but once a year.

10
00:00:36,211 --> 00:00:38,088
The doorman said he
was on his way with it.

11
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,508
I wonder what's keeping him.

12
00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:43,303
-Regan.
-Frasier.

13
00:00:44,304 --> 00:00:48,350
-Long time no see.
-Yes, yes, it has been.

14
00:00:49,101 --> 00:00:52,563
I think the last time was when you
came over with that bottle of wine.

15
00:00:52,772 --> 00:00:54,148
-Oh, right.
-REGAN: Yeah.

16
00:00:54,316 --> 00:00:56,985
-And I met your charming boyfriend.
-Scott.

17
00:00:57,152 --> 00:01:01,324
-Scott, yeah.
-And he's not my boyfriend anymore.

18
00:01:01,533 --> 00:01:03,742
Oh, well, he wasn't
really all that charming.

19
00:01:03,826 --> 00:01:04,869
[REGAN LAUGHS]

20
00:01:08,707 --> 00:01:10,876
Well, it was nice seeing
you again, Frasier.

21
00:01:11,085 --> 00:01:12,712
Likewise.

22
00:01:20,763 --> 00:01:22,640
Isn't that interesting?

23
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,561
-I just ran into Regan.
-MARTIN: Mm.

24
00:01:26,311 --> 00:01:29,315
It seems she's not
seeing that Scott anymore.

25
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,025
The ballplayer? Is she nuts?

26
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:33,861
He had money, looks, the whole package.

27
00:01:34,070 --> 00:01:35,948
Dad, let him go.

28
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:38,075
Are you gonna ask her out?

29
00:01:38,617 --> 00:01:40,662
Well, I don't know.

30
00:01:41,121 --> 00:01:43,247
Every time I've had a
chance to get close to Regan,

31
00:01:43,331 --> 00:01:46,043
it seems I end up looking ridiculous.

32
00:01:46,502 --> 00:01:47,920
Still,

33
00:01:48,421 --> 00:01:52,092
she did make a point of letting
me know that she was single again.

34
00:01:52,384 --> 00:01:57,890
Perhaps she's hinting for another
ride on the Frasier-go-round.

35
00:01:58,391 --> 00:02:02,812
Now, if we could just figure out
why you always look ridiculous.

36
00:02:04,231 --> 00:02:06,900
Come on, please, it
could be my last chance.

37
00:02:07,067 --> 00:02:09,362
Couldn't you… No, it's okay, I understand.

38
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,156
Don't worry about it. Bye.

39
00:02:11,323 --> 00:02:13,617
-Problem?
-Yeah, it's my bachelor party.

40
00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:17,538
My best man can't arrange it.
I'm trying to find somebody to fill in.

41
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:21,126
If you're looking for somebody to
throw you an appropriate shindig,

42
00:02:21,293 --> 00:02:26,633
-I'd be willing to volunteer.
-Oh, no, thank you. No, that's okay.

43
00:02:26,799 --> 00:02:29,844
-I don't want to impose on you.
-It's no trouble at all.

44
00:02:30,053 --> 00:02:33,015
No, no. It's fine.
Now, really, thanks for the offer though.

45
00:02:33,182 --> 00:02:34,224
[DOORBELL RINGS]

46
00:02:34,391 --> 00:02:36,643
I don't think we're talking
about the same kind of party.

47
00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:38,437
Donny, if you're letting my reputation

48
00:02:38,521 --> 00:02:40,271
as an aesthete cloud your judgment,

49
00:02:40,398 --> 00:02:43,653
I assure you, I am just one of the guys,

50
00:02:43,819 --> 00:02:47,239
capable of getting down
and dirty with the best of them.

51
00:02:47,406 --> 00:02:49,493
-Your jacket, Dr. Crane.
-Oh, dear God.

52
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:52,663
You never fold cashmere.
You'll misdirect the nap. Get out.

53
00:02:54,999 --> 00:02:56,399
Donny, give it some thought.

54
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:03,758
-FRASIER: Morning, Roz.
-ROZ: Hey, Frasier.

55
00:03:03,842 --> 00:03:06,846
-Help me decide something.
-FRASIER: All right.

56
00:03:07,013 --> 00:03:09,099
I'm thinking about getting my eyes done.

57
00:03:09,265 --> 00:03:11,560
-It's a little expensive, but…
-Now, now, Roz,

58
00:03:11,644 --> 00:03:13,394
cosmetic surgery is a drastic step.

59
00:03:13,521 --> 00:03:16,440
If you're worried about those
bags try a different concealer.

60
00:03:16,524 --> 00:03:19,319
Perhaps a good night's
sleep once in a while.

61
00:03:19,528 --> 00:03:23,991
I meant the laser procedure so
I could see without my contacts.

62
00:03:25,118 --> 00:03:26,369
My usual, please.

63
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:30,248
I just saw the most incredible thing.
You will not believe it.

64
00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:31,875
-What is it?
-NILES: You have to see it.

65
00:03:31,959 --> 00:03:33,001
Mere words cannot…

66
00:03:33,168 --> 00:03:34,754
-New jacket?
-Yes, it came today.

67
00:03:34,838 --> 00:03:36,188
-Nice stitching.
-Cristal.

68
00:03:36,297 --> 00:03:37,340
-No.
-Yes.

69
00:03:37,507 --> 00:03:39,634
-Something wrong with the nap?
-Is it obvious?

70
00:03:39,718 --> 00:03:41,511
Would you knock it off?
What is so amazing?

71
00:03:41,595 --> 00:03:43,495
All right, come here, come here, look.

72
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,228
All right, you see that rotund woman
coming out of Choc Full of Donuts?

73
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,612
-FRASIER: Mm-hmm.
-ROZ: Yeah.

74
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,872
Watch. Before she gets to her
car, she'll finish that bear claw

75
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:57,656
and then go back in.
This is her third time.

76
00:03:58,282 --> 00:04:00,075
That's what you brought us over here for?

77
00:04:00,159 --> 00:04:03,204
To gawk at some poor
woman's struggle with junk food?

78
00:04:03,413 --> 00:04:06,833
Big deal, so she's overweight.
You don't need to point it out.

79
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,500
-That's rude.
-It's childish.

80
00:04:08,585 --> 00:04:10,296
-NILES: It's Maris.
-Ooh.

81
00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:17,471
-No way.
-Dear God, are you sure, Niles?

82
00:04:17,637 --> 00:04:18,680
I'm positive.

83
00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:21,809
Hard to believe that's the frail
woman who once sprained her wrist

84
00:04:21,893 --> 00:04:24,061
from having too much dip on a cracker.

85
00:04:24,854 --> 00:04:26,356
Maris was always chubby as a child.

86
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,983
Her whole life she's been
obsessed with keeping weight off.

87
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,862
-Something must have snapped.
-Literally. When she saw me,

88
00:04:31,946 --> 00:04:35,325
she swallowed and her necklace
exploded from the pressure.

89
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,955
Oh, oh, oh. There she goes, back for more.

90
00:04:40,122 --> 00:04:41,207
FRASIER: Gosh.

91
00:04:41,373 --> 00:04:46,087
When I last saw her at Christmas,
she was her usual tiny self.

92
00:04:46,713 --> 00:04:50,613
Wait, Niles, wasn't that about the time
you started dating her plastic surgeon?

93
00:04:51,928 --> 00:04:55,014
Actually, it was. You think that could
have triggered some sort of binge?

94
00:04:55,098 --> 00:04:57,309
-Well…
-Well, this isn't going to help.

95
00:04:57,476 --> 00:04:59,144
Mel and I are in the society page today.

96
00:04:59,228 --> 00:05:01,481
That's our picture at
the symphony benefit.

97
00:05:01,689 --> 00:05:03,482
I shudder to think how Maris will react.

98
00:05:03,566 --> 00:05:05,526
You know how petty
and jealous she can get.

99
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:09,865
They never take a photo of me,
and I'm in the Conductor's Circle.

100
00:05:10,074 --> 00:05:13,286
Well, she moved next
door to the Italian deli.

101
00:05:13,453 --> 00:05:16,203
The guy just took the two-foot
salami out of the window.

102
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,709
I can't face her now.

103
00:05:18,876 --> 00:05:21,211
That salami should keep
her busy until I get to my car.

104
00:05:21,295 --> 00:05:24,383
-Niles.
-Hey, is that Niles in the paper?

105
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:28,136
He happened to have a copy. As if
anyone cares about such trivial matters.

106
00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:30,515
Oh, yeah, right. This is eating you up.

107
00:05:30,682 --> 00:05:33,685
-You live for this hoity-toity crap.
-Thank you.

108
00:05:33,852 --> 00:05:36,272
I certainly do not.
Why does everyone think that?

109
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,940
You know, just this morning
Donny said I was too fussy

110
00:05:39,024 --> 00:05:40,569
to throw him a bachelor party.

111
00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:42,487
You do give off kind of a fussy vibe.

112
00:05:42,571 --> 00:05:44,739
You know, there are other
sides to my personality.

113
00:05:44,823 --> 00:05:48,661
I remember back in my Boston
days, I had a regular bar and barstool.

114
00:05:48,828 --> 00:05:49,996
I even had a tab.

115
00:05:50,204 --> 00:05:53,000
Well, if you go back, you
should try having a beer.

116
00:05:54,585 --> 00:05:58,506
Oh, God, you know, maybe…
Maybe I have become stuffier.

117
00:05:58,715 --> 00:06:02,302
The highlight of my week was
the arrival of my hand-tailored coat.

118
00:06:02,510 --> 00:06:04,310
Maybe it's time I loosened up a bit,

119
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:07,516
try to tone down the
whole fuddy-duddy image.

120
00:06:10,228 --> 00:06:12,314
Hello, Donny? It's Frasier.

121
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,680
Listen, I would really like to
throw that bachelor party for you.

122
00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:18,279
No, no, I assure you, I
know what goes on at one.

123
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,532
Yes, I'm quite, quite qualified.

124
00:06:20,699 --> 00:06:24,661
No, really, I promise you a night
of such unrepentant debauchery

125
00:06:24,828 --> 00:06:28,499
that the mere memory will
delight you in your old age.

126
00:06:28,666 --> 00:06:32,046
That is, if you should survive the night.

127
00:06:32,671 --> 00:06:34,297
-Think I'm overselling a bit?
-A tad.

128
00:06:34,381 --> 00:06:35,883
FRASIER: Yeah, all right.

129
00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:38,386
That's great. Oh, great, great.
Thanks, Donny.

130
00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:41,931
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna go out and find you a stripper.

131
00:06:42,015 --> 00:06:43,768
Maybe even more than one.

132
00:06:43,935 --> 00:06:45,603
You bet.

133
00:06:48,064 --> 00:06:50,150
-Strippers, huh?
-You bet.

134
00:06:50,359 --> 00:06:53,362
A couple of real red-hot mamas.

135
00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,282
You don't even know
where to find one, do you?

136
00:06:56,366 --> 00:06:57,992
Not a clue.

137
00:07:21,311 --> 00:07:22,854
Damn.

138
00:07:23,356 --> 00:07:25,483
Damn, damn.

139
00:07:25,650 --> 00:07:27,193
Damn.

140
00:07:28,319 --> 00:07:30,823
Open, damn you.

141
00:07:31,156 --> 00:07:32,408
Frasier.

142
00:07:34,451 --> 00:07:38,540
Regan? Well, this is certainly my
lucky day running into you twice.

143
00:07:39,416 --> 00:07:43,004
Gosh, I guess this
must look a little strange.

144
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,089
Really, it's none of my business.

145
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:46,966
Actually, it's quite an amusing story.

146
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,427
You see, I was just getting
a <i>Seattle Times</i> here,

147
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,390
and I got my coat stuck in the machine.

148
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,350
-That's not the <i>Seattle Times.
</i>-Hmm?

149
00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:55,852
[GASPS]

150
00:07:56,019 --> 00:07:59,481
Dear God. They should
label these things more clearly.

151
00:07:59,690 --> 00:08:03,695
-This is some sort of a smut rag.
-It was nice seeing you.

152
00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:05,238
FRASIER: Regan…

153
00:08:05,864 --> 00:08:07,490
Regan.

154
00:08:11,495 --> 00:08:13,664
Well, if you get any in,
could you please call me?

155
00:08:13,748 --> 00:08:15,083
Thank you.

156
00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:18,712
Gosh, I'm off to one hell of a
start with this bachelor party.

157
00:08:18,879 --> 00:08:20,506
First the debacle with Regan,

158
00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:24,260
and now Syd's Novelty Shop is
completely out of naughty coasters.

159
00:08:25,136 --> 00:08:29,141
Oh, will you stop moping?
It'll all work ass.

160
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,351
What?

161
00:08:31,936 --> 00:08:34,731
For God's sake. Give me that.

162
00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:36,191
What are you doing?

163
00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:38,527
DONNY: if your head
hurts, we don't have to go.

164
00:08:38,611 --> 00:08:40,153
-No, I'll be fine.
-All right.

165
00:08:40,237 --> 00:08:41,322
Oh, Dr. Crane?

166
00:08:41,489 --> 00:08:44,889
I just want to tell you how happy I
am you're throwing Donny's party.

167
00:08:44,993 --> 00:08:47,704
You see? At least someone
thinks I'm capable of throwing a…

168
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:51,709
A nice, low-key party, just
like my honey bunny insisted.

169
00:08:52,168 --> 00:08:54,922
Honestly, why men have
to celebrate getting married

170
00:08:55,089 --> 00:08:57,090
by having bouncing
bosoms shoved in their faces.

171
00:08:57,174 --> 00:08:59,051
Yeah. Yeah.

172
00:09:01,262 --> 00:09:04,808
If I know Dr. Crane, your
party will be over by 9:30.

173
00:09:04,974 --> 00:09:06,852
We could all go out for dinner afterwards.

174
00:09:06,936 --> 00:09:09,855
Oh, that'd be swell, honey.

175
00:09:11,315 --> 00:09:14,652
Gosh, you know, if Daphne is so
down on this whole bachelor party idea,

176
00:09:14,736 --> 00:09:18,236
I should throw a more sedate one.
I don't want to get Donny in trouble.

177
00:09:18,366 --> 00:09:20,242
Your job is to give
him the party he wants.

178
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,120
Everything else is between them.

179
00:09:22,286 --> 00:09:24,873
It's absolutely none of your boobs.

180
00:09:32,048 --> 00:09:33,716
Give me that.

181
00:09:34,885 --> 00:09:36,053
Stop that.

182
00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:37,388
[DOORBELL RINGS]

183
00:09:41,685 --> 00:09:44,020
-Oh.
-Frasier Crane?

184
00:09:44,437 --> 00:09:46,148
Yes?

185
00:09:46,315 --> 00:09:49,986
I'm looking into a report of vandalism

186
00:09:50,695 --> 00:09:53,949
of a newspaper vending
machine on Euclid Avenue.

187
00:09:54,116 --> 00:09:55,575
Does that sound familiar to you?

188
00:09:55,659 --> 00:09:58,580
Well, I may have been in
the area earlier today, but…

189
00:09:59,455 --> 00:10:02,625
Somebody on the scene
recognized you as the perpetrator.

190
00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,004
Are you aware of the
penalty for vandalism?

191
00:10:05,171 --> 00:10:06,755
-Uh-oh.
-FRASIER: Well, I…

192
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,298
I may have dented the machine but…

193
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:14,222
Frasier Crane, you have
the right to remain… aroused.

194
00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:20,606
Anything you see, can,
will be rubbed against you.

195
00:10:23,442 --> 00:10:25,986
-She's a stripper.
-I get it, Dad.

196
00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:29,407
Thank you, thank you, Officer.

197
00:10:29,574 --> 00:10:33,162
I knew that Daphne was going
to be gone most of the afternoon,

198
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:36,665
So I figured I'd help you out.
Boy, you hire her for Donny's party,

199
00:10:36,749 --> 00:10:38,627
he'll put you in his will.

200
00:10:40,545 --> 00:10:42,547
So do I get the job?

201
00:10:42,714 --> 00:10:45,635
Well, you, you certainly seem qualified.
Overqualified.

202
00:10:46,802 --> 00:10:49,514
-What's going on?
-Oh, Daphne.

203
00:10:49,681 --> 00:10:54,519
Oh, hello. This is Officer Nasty.

204
00:10:56,981 --> 00:11:01,320
She's leaving the police force,
and I'm thinking of hiring her.

205
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:04,949
As the housekeeper.
You see, I mean, once you marry Donny,

206
00:11:05,115 --> 00:11:07,165
you'll still be Dad's physical therapist,

207
00:11:07,285 --> 00:11:09,120
but we'll need someone to do the chores.

208
00:11:09,204 --> 00:11:10,913
Weren't you supposed to be with Donny?

209
00:11:10,997 --> 00:11:13,041
Yeah, I was, but I've
got a splitting headache.

210
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:14,210
Oh.

211
00:11:14,377 --> 00:11:16,211
So how long have you been on the force?

212
00:11:16,295 --> 00:11:19,382
You know, I was just about to
show the officer around the house

213
00:11:19,466 --> 00:11:21,260
and discuss terms.

214
00:11:21,426 --> 00:11:22,636
[DOORBELL RINGS]

215
00:11:22,803 --> 00:11:25,253
All right, it was nice
meeting you, Officer Nasty.

216
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:26,599
STRIPPER: Yeah.

217
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:34,275
Don't tell me to calm down.
It's a complete disaster.

218
00:11:34,441 --> 00:11:36,110
-She'll ruin me.
-What's going on?

219
00:11:36,194 --> 00:11:38,321
NILES: It's Maris.
She saw the picture of us today,

220
00:11:38,405 --> 00:11:40,072
and she's determined
to take it out on Mel.

221
00:11:40,156 --> 00:11:43,202
Yes, she's telling everyone
that I caused her weight gain

222
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,080
by nicking her thyroid during a neck tuck.

223
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,751
I've already had three cancellations.

224
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,921
She never thinks about
anybody but herself.

225
00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:53,405
Daphne, get me a cup of tea.

226
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:57,218
Actually, I have a bit of a headache.

227
00:11:57,302 --> 00:11:59,452
Oh, you could be coming
down with something.

228
00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:01,432
Wash your hands first.

229
00:12:04,728 --> 00:12:07,271
Darling, you've got to calm down.
Your shoulders are tensed.

230
00:12:07,355 --> 00:12:08,898
Daphne gives a wonderful massage.

231
00:12:08,982 --> 00:12:12,653
-It might be just the thing for you.
-I was planning on taking a nap.

232
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,780
Oh, good, so you're not busy.

233
00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:18,368
-Should we do it in your room?
-Run along. I'll take care of the tea.

234
00:12:18,452 --> 00:12:20,102
I really appreciate this, Daphne.

235
00:12:20,287 --> 00:12:22,081
You're welcome, Dr. Crane.

236
00:12:22,749 --> 00:12:26,252
Hey, Niles, guess what
your brother's doing?

237
00:12:27,963 --> 00:12:32,218
-Pressing his new blazer?
-Yeah, against a stripper.

238
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,654
-What?
-Yes, he's interviewing her in his room

239
00:12:36,806 --> 00:12:39,393
for Donny's bachelor party.
But don't tell Daphne.

240
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,603
And how exactly do
you interview a stripper?

241
00:12:41,687 --> 00:12:45,359
I don't know, but I bet there's
a real show going on in there.

242
00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:48,403
Keep the gun in its holster
until the very end, you see.

243
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:53,242
That way your act has, you
know, more impact, shall we say.

244
00:12:53,409 --> 00:12:58,749
-Bang, bang, bang, bang.
-Men seem to like my act the way it is.

245
00:12:58,957 --> 00:13:00,584
I can't tell you about attracting men.

246
00:13:00,668 --> 00:13:04,381
But I do know a thing or
two about showmanship.

247
00:13:04,547 --> 00:13:06,926
Tell me, what sort of encore do you have?

248
00:13:07,635 --> 00:13:08,928
I don't have an encore.

249
00:13:09,095 --> 00:13:11,722
Trust me, with this act,
we're gonna need one.

250
00:13:12,056 --> 00:13:13,934
I have an idea.

251
00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:16,812
Well, Mel's all set up with Daphne.

252
00:13:16,978 --> 00:13:18,772
Oh, well, maybe we ought to tell Frasier.

253
00:13:18,856 --> 00:13:21,567
This is a good time to get
that stripper out of here.

254
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:22,934
FRASIER: [WHISPERS] Dad.

255
00:13:23,027 --> 00:13:25,627
Oh, Frasier, okay, coast is clear.
Everything's fine.

256
00:13:26,281 --> 00:13:28,367
Not exactly.

257
00:13:33,957 --> 00:13:35,584
How did that happen?

258
00:13:35,793 --> 00:13:39,463
Lord of the Dance here
decided I needed an encore.

259
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:45,095
-Well, I assumed you had the key.
-I never use them.

260
00:13:45,262 --> 00:13:46,304
[SIGHS]

261
00:13:46,472 --> 00:13:49,141
-We'll have to cut them off.
-MARTIN: Well, come on in here.

262
00:13:49,225 --> 00:13:51,102
I'm Niles.

263
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:57,693
Now, you might come to a point where
it feels like you can't take it anymore.

264
00:13:57,902 --> 00:13:59,821
I call that phase one.

265
00:13:59,988 --> 00:14:01,364
[MEL GRUNTING IN PAIN]

266
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:04,407
Are you sure you know what you're doing?

267
00:14:04,535 --> 00:14:06,829
I know exactly what I'm doing.

268
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:08,581
[YELPING]

269
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:15,465
-Just relax.
-MEL: Oh, this is all Maris' fault.

270
00:14:15,673 --> 00:14:21,096
You know, she actually called me and
said she'd lay off if I'd stop seeing him.

271
00:14:21,555 --> 00:14:24,433
-What'd you say?
-Why, I hung up on her.

272
00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:25,893
How insane is this woman?

273
00:14:26,059 --> 00:14:29,189
She thinks I'd give up
Niles to protect my practice?

274
00:14:29,355 --> 00:14:30,398
I'm crazy about him.

275
00:14:31,191 --> 00:14:35,029
The way he laughs, the way
he gets that little glint in his eye

276
00:14:35,196 --> 00:14:37,531
when he's about to say something clever.

277
00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:39,451
But you know what I love the most?

278
00:14:39,618 --> 00:14:42,329
It's like there are all these
things that he could be

279
00:14:42,496 --> 00:14:47,418
if he could just trust someone
enough to help him unlock it all.

280
00:14:47,627 --> 00:14:52,216
And if I could be that person, you
know, that safe person in his life,

281
00:14:52,382 --> 00:14:56,846
well, the more I know him, the
more I know that's all I want to be.

282
00:14:58,306 --> 00:14:59,849
Daphne?

283
00:15:02,186 --> 00:15:03,521
Oh.

284
00:15:04,563 --> 00:15:06,232
Oh!

285
00:15:06,398 --> 00:15:09,444
This isn't working, Dad.
There's only one thing left to do.

286
00:15:09,611 --> 00:15:12,990
I gotta warn you, I'm not as
good a shot as I used to be.

287
00:15:13,157 --> 00:15:15,951
We have to go out the balcony.
I need coffee to steady my nerves.

288
00:15:16,035 --> 00:15:17,578
Dad!

289
00:15:18,247 --> 00:15:20,541
I meant go to a locksmith.

290
00:15:20,749 --> 00:15:23,126
-Oh, thank God. All right, let's go.
-Come on.

291
00:15:23,628 --> 00:15:25,797
Wait, hold on. I have to put something on.

292
00:15:25,964 --> 00:15:27,173
[DOORBELL RINGS]

293
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,426
NILES: Wait, I'll get it.

294
00:15:31,804 --> 00:15:33,472
It's Maris.

295
00:15:33,639 --> 00:15:37,102
At least I think it is.
You need a bigger peephole.

296
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:39,854
What is she doing here?

297
00:15:40,063 --> 00:15:42,357
I have no idea, but we can't
let her anywhere near Mel,

298
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,568
especially now that Maris
has the weight advantage.

299
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:45,695
[POUNDING ON DOOR]

300
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,573
-What will we do?
-Take her into Frasier's room.

301
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,408
Oh, wait, wait. I can't be seen like this.

302
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:51,659
She'll blab it over town.

303
00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,245
-Get in the bathroom.
-FRASIER: Right.

304
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:56,529
-MARTIN: I'll call you when she leaves.
-FRASIER: Thank you, Niles.

305
00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:06,867
Well, seeing as how we
have a minute or two here,

306
00:16:08,013 --> 00:16:10,763
I may as well take this
opportunity to end the suspense.

307
00:16:11,017 --> 00:16:12,935
You've got the job.

308
00:16:14,395 --> 00:16:16,545
-I've got a little news for you too.
-Hmm?

309
00:16:16,648 --> 00:16:19,526
I've been on the clock since
you slapped the cuffs on me.

310
00:16:20,611 --> 00:16:22,155
Fair enough.

311
00:16:22,363 --> 00:16:23,406
Ooh.

312
00:16:24,365 --> 00:16:26,265
-It's freezing in here.
-Oh, uh, yes.

313
00:16:26,409 --> 00:16:32,792
Here, let me. I seem to remember
doing this back in my college days

314
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:36,129
at a fraternity hazing. Here you are.

315
00:16:37,672 --> 00:16:39,717
Here we go.

316
00:16:40,885 --> 00:16:42,553
Thank you.

317
00:16:43,722 --> 00:16:45,557
It's hand-stitched.

318
00:16:46,725 --> 00:16:49,896
-MARTIN: Frasier, come on out.
-All right. We're out of here.

319
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,315
My God, have you seen Maris?

320
00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:54,400
Yes, Dad, I know. Did Niles calm her down?

321
00:16:54,484 --> 00:16:57,195
He took her to your room, but
he had to butter her up a little.

322
00:16:57,279 --> 00:16:59,579
I was afraid that doorway
might pose a problem.

323
00:17:01,493 --> 00:17:06,206
-Frasier.
-Regan, hello.

324
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:09,460
Listen, I'm sorry about this afternoon.

325
00:17:09,669 --> 00:17:12,088
Oh, forget about that. It was no big deal.

326
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:15,884
By the way, I was wondering
if you'd be available to…

327
00:17:16,051 --> 00:17:17,719
Oh, Lord.

328
00:17:25,938 --> 00:17:27,981
God, no need to be embarrassed about that.

329
00:17:28,065 --> 00:17:30,443
You know, I do that
sort of thing all the time.

330
00:17:31,277 --> 00:17:34,114
Say, you were saying?

331
00:17:34,739 --> 00:17:38,494
Yeah.
Just let me get all this cleaned up first.

332
00:17:38,661 --> 00:17:40,037
Yes.

333
00:17:48,214 --> 00:17:49,966
There you go.

334
00:17:50,508 --> 00:17:52,969
You know, I'd gladly have helped you.
It's just that I've…

335
00:17:53,053 --> 00:17:56,724
I've hurt my back, you see.
Oh, gosh, oh, oh, it's seizing up again.

336
00:17:56,932 --> 00:17:59,436
You know, maybe it would be best if I just

337
00:17:59,602 --> 00:18:02,021
went back inside and crawled into bed.

338
00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:04,150
Good night.

339
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:08,696
-It's gonna be a moment.
-I figured.

340
00:18:08,863 --> 00:18:11,992
-DAPHNE: I'm gonna make us some tea.
-Back inside.

341
00:18:12,534 --> 00:18:14,077
-Frasier.
-Oh.

342
00:18:16,289 --> 00:18:19,000
You're a lucky man having
this woman on your staff.

343
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:20,626
Thank you again, Daphne.

344
00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:22,546
-You're welcome.
-Oh.

345
00:18:23,422 --> 00:18:25,131
Where are you going with all that food?

346
00:18:25,215 --> 00:18:29,262
Dad is not feeling well, so I thought
I'd bring him some comfort food.

347
00:18:29,846 --> 00:18:31,765
And by the way, if anyone's going out,

348
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:35,436
Dad specifically requested
something called a chalupa.

349
00:18:39,983 --> 00:18:41,026
[DOORBELL RINGS]

350
00:18:41,193 --> 00:18:44,822
Uh, Daphne, would you mind getting that?

351
00:18:45,031 --> 00:18:46,157
You're not serious.

352
00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:48,576
You are on the staff, after all.

353
00:18:51,747 --> 00:18:53,957
DAPHNE: I'll get rid of them.

354
00:18:54,124 --> 00:18:56,335
-REGAN: Hi, Daphne.
-DAPHNE: Hey, Regan, come on in.

355
00:18:56,419 --> 00:18:57,587
Um…

356
00:18:57,754 --> 00:19:01,217
Oh, Frasier, I was
concerned about your back.

357
00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:04,220
-You hurt your back?
-No, no, it's just a spasm.

358
00:19:04,428 --> 00:19:07,390
Leaning against the wall like
this, it actually feels a lot better.

359
00:19:07,474 --> 00:19:10,060
-MEL: Is it upper back or lower?
-Middle.

360
00:19:10,227 --> 00:19:11,978
If you could all just leave me alone.

361
00:19:12,062 --> 00:19:14,648
-Really, I'm fine here.
-Why don't we get you to the couch?

362
00:19:14,732 --> 00:19:17,025
No, no, no, no, please,
please, I know what I'm doing.

363
00:19:17,109 --> 00:19:18,695
-We'll each take a side.
-No, stop.

364
00:19:18,779 --> 00:19:20,822
No, Frasier, it could
be a thoracic strain.

365
00:19:20,906 --> 00:19:22,032
Or a bulging disc.

366
00:19:22,241 --> 00:19:24,118
Yes, impinging on your lumbar nerves.

367
00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:26,412
Yes, it could easily be
any one of those things.

368
00:19:26,496 --> 00:19:31,335
But did you also consider that it might
be the stripper chained to my wrist?

369
00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:38,844
-Officer Nasty.
-Oh.

370
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,975
Everyone, this is Dinah.

371
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,479
You see, this all happened
because I was trying to prove

372
00:19:47,646 --> 00:19:51,608
that I'm a normal guy capable
of doing normal guy things

373
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,236
like throw a bachelor party.

374
00:19:53,444 --> 00:19:54,987
Daphne, Donny didn't know anything.

375
00:19:55,071 --> 00:19:56,948
So I wish you'd just lighten up.

376
00:19:58,450 --> 00:20:02,121
Regan, I can't even imagine
where this must put us.

377
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:05,917
I guess it's time I accept the fact that
things will never work out between us.

378
00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:07,501
You're certainly not to blame.

379
00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:10,339
And after today, I can't
see that any woman

380
00:20:10,506 --> 00:20:12,675
would even want to go out with me.

381
00:20:13,217 --> 00:20:16,013
I think I would.

382
00:20:27,401 --> 00:20:29,820
-MARTIN: Hey, Fras.
-Oh, hi, Dad.

383
00:20:30,487 --> 00:20:31,739
How was your date?

384
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:36,202
Well, it was nice.

385
00:20:37,078 --> 00:20:38,623
-We had a beer.
-Mm-hm.

386
00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:40,917
Talked a bit.

387
00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:43,921
She has a hell of a body, doesn't she?

388
00:20:45,422 --> 00:20:47,925
Dad, that is not what
this evening was about.

389
00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:51,054
This evening was about taking a chance.

390
00:20:51,888 --> 00:20:54,849
Getting to know a different sort of woman.

391
00:20:55,224 --> 00:20:57,645
Turns out, she's really
quite interesting, Dinah.

392
00:20:57,811 --> 00:21:00,564
She's working her way through
grad school, lives with her mother.

393
00:21:00,648 --> 00:21:02,942
She's well-read.
She even speaks a couple of languages.

394
00:21:03,026 --> 00:21:04,277
MARTIN: Hmm.

395
00:21:04,444 --> 00:21:07,364
-It makes you wonder, doesn't it?
-Yes, it does, doesn't it?

396
00:21:07,448 --> 00:21:10,868
Makes you wonder about how eager
we are to judge a book by its cover,

397
00:21:11,035 --> 00:21:12,954
how willing we are to
stereotype each other…

398
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:17,334
No, I mean it really makes you
wonder what that mother looks like.

399
00:21:34,562 --> 00:21:36,315
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]