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WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: So, Dr. Crane,
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00:00:10,722 --> 00:00:12,515
I don't see why I should
fix the dumb dress
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00:00:12,599 --> 00:00:14,600
when my sister can't
even fit into it anymore.
4
00:00:14,684 --> 00:00:18,689
Audrey, you borrowed
the dress, you tore it.
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00:00:18,773 --> 00:00:21,775
As an old Greek haberdasher once said:
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"Euripides, Eumenides."
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[LAUGHS]
8
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What?
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00:00:28,784 --> 00:00:33,581
Well, it's just a little joke on
the ancient dramatist Euripides
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00:00:33,665 --> 00:00:35,624
and the mythological Furies. Ha-ha.
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Huh?
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Just fix the dress.
13
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We'll be back after the weather.
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Oh, Roz, Noel gave me this to give to you.
15
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-Here.
-Oh, God, Noel.
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-He's been acting so weird lately.
-Lately?
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May I remind you this is the
man who's required by law
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to stay at least 100 yards
away from William Shatner.
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No, I bumped into him at
Nervosa about a month ago.
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There were no other free
tables so we sat together,
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and since then, he's been acting
like we're some kind of couple.
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Oh, Roz, I'm sure he knows
you're not interested in him.
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"Happy month-iversary."
24
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-Oh, Lord.
-Ugh.
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Oh, we're on.
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And we're back.
Let's get straight to the phones.
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-I'm listening.
-MAN: Dr. Crane?
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It's Woody.
I'm in Seattle and I'm a little lost.
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Well, Woody, in today's
fast-paced, high-pressure society,
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that's not uncommon.
31
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Just why exactly do you feel lost?
32
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Well, I've been driving
around for about an hour.
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I can't seem to get out of the airport.
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Oh, Woody, Woody.
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[CHUCKLES] Oh,
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well, listeners, this is an old
friend of mine from back in Boston.
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How are you doing there, you old cowpoke?
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[LAUGHS]
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I'm doing okay, but all this
talk about today's fast-paced,
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high-pressure world is
starting to get me down.
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Yes, well, I have just the cure for that.
How about dinner?
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Sounds great. I'm in town all week.
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-And I'm free all week. How's tonight?
-Oh, that'd be great.
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00:02:02,808 --> 00:02:05,644
-So I hear you're on the radio.
-Yes, I am, Woody, and so are you.
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[WOODY CHUCKLES]
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No, no, no, I'm still
tending bar at Cheers.
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[WOODY CHUCKLES]
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Oh, how do these rumors get started?
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Believe it or not, listeners,
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Woody and I are picking
up right where we left off.
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-Knock, knock.
-Noel.
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Oh, I haven't seen that outfit before.
Set your phasers on stunning.
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Listen, I need to talk to you.
I cannot accept anniversary gifts.
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Oh, I know that.
I was just making a little joke.
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I know we're just friends.
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I saw this and it made me think of you.
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Okay, thanks. That's really sweet.
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Oh, if you're not gonna
open it for a while,
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you might wanna move the ribbon.
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It's blocking the air holes.
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Here, I made you some lamb stew.
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I'm telling you, there's
something weird about Eddie.
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00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:03,961
Oh, for the love of God, not this again.
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00:03:04,045 --> 00:03:06,213
You never should've taken
him to those dog groomers.
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00:03:06,297 --> 00:03:07,423
I had to bring him.
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00:03:07,507 --> 00:03:11,928
His toenails were like Howard Hughes'
and his breath smelled like an autopsy.
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Well, look at him.
They did something to him.
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The sparkle's gone from his eyes.
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Yes, and so are those gooey green bits.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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Oh, that's probably Woody. I'll get it.
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[CHUCKLES]
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-Oh, Niles.
-Hello, Frasier.
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I know this is impromptu,
but I'm going to an oboe recital
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and I thought you might want to join me.
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00:03:30,783 --> 00:03:32,368
Well, I'm sorry, Niles.
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An old friend of mine came in town.
I invited him to come over this evening.
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Well, have him join us.
I'm sure we can get three seats together.
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I'm not sure an oboe recital's
quite what I had in mind.
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I was thinking of something
a little more raucous.
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If it's raucous you're looking for,
we could go and get a nightcap
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at the piano bar at the Mayflower Hotel.
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It's Jerome Kern night.
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Last time people were shouting out
requests without raising their hands.
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[LAUGHS]
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You know, Niles, I'm
afraid we'll have to pass.
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You see, my friend
Woody is an old bar chum
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from back at Cheers…
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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00:04:04,947 --> 00:04:06,449
I had in mind a beer-swilling,
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00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,785
back-slapping kind of night,
if you know what I mean.
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00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:10,453
You're welcome to join us if you like.
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00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:12,287
-Sounds interesting.
-Well, now…
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-Woody!
-Hey, Dr. Crane!
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[BOTH LAUGH]
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-Good to see you.
-You look great.
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Oh, thanks, thanks. You too.
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-This place is awesome.
-Thank you.
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00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,431
I'm not surprised you need all
these roommates to help you pay for it.
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00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:29,851
Well, they're not really roommates, Woody.
They're…
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They're more like boarders actually.
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[LAUGHS]
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-No, that's my father Martin.
-Oh, hi.
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-Woody Boyd.
-I remember hearing about you.
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-You were a policeman, right?
-That's right.
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That's my brother Niles.
He's a psychiatrist too.
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-Hello.
-Oh, wow.
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And this is Daphne Moon, my
father's home healthcare worker.
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-It's nice to meet you.
-Oh, hi. I like your accent.
110
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-You're from England, right?
-Manchester.
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Darn. I'm usually pretty good at that.
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-Oh, hey, who's this little guy?
-I'm not sure I even know anymore.
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Oh, my dad's getting the same way.
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-So, Woody, can I get you a beer?
-That's funny, huh?
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You know, all those
years I was waiting on you,
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and now you're getting me a beer.
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Yes, life's like that sometimes, isn't it?
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Daphne, get us a
couple of beers, will you?
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So, what brings you to Seattle, huh?
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-Oh, my cousin's getting married.
-Really?
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Which is the cousin? Bride or groom?
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Well, actually, both are.
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[CHUCKLES]
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I assume they're kissing cousins.
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They're doing a lot more than that.
126
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-That's why they have to get married.
-Oh.
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00:05:41,766 --> 00:05:43,727
So is Kelly with you?
128
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:47,481
No, no, she's visiting her mom
with the kids, but she sends her love.
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[FRASIER CHUCKLES]
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00:05:48,774 --> 00:05:52,070
-And how's the old gang, huh?
-Oh, well, they haven't changed much.
131
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Sam's doing great, Carla's terrific.
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00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:57,034
Oh, you know, we almost had a wedding.
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00:05:57,118 --> 00:05:58,619
Mr. Clavin got himself one of those
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-Eastern European mail-order brides.
-Oh.
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00:06:00,913 --> 00:06:05,043
But they lived together for a couple
of days and decided to call it off.
136
00:06:05,127 --> 00:06:07,337
Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry for Cliff.
137
00:06:07,421 --> 00:06:09,923
Yeah, she said she was homesick.
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00:06:10,007 --> 00:06:13,219
That Bosnia must be a beautiful place.
139
00:06:16,097 --> 00:06:18,767
-DAPHNE: Here we are.
-Oh, thank you, Daphne.
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00:06:18,851 --> 00:06:21,645
That's one for you, one for you,
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and one for me.
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00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:26,901
Well, Woody, I thought that
tonight we'd just maybe stay in.
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00:06:26,985 --> 00:06:29,237
-You know, order some pizza.
-Sounds good by me.
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00:06:29,321 --> 00:06:31,657
Okay, great. I'll just call
the place around the corner.
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00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:34,785
-Niles, you're gonna join us?
-Well, why not.
146
00:06:34,869 --> 00:06:36,328
It'll be fun to drink some beer
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00:06:36,412 --> 00:06:38,498
and have some pizza with
a couple of rapscallions.
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[FRASIER, NILES CHUCKLE]
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If you don't mind, could we make
that half rapscallions, half pepperoni?
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[WOODY, FRASIER LAUGH]
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00:06:50,428 --> 00:06:52,764
That wasn't the best prank we played.
152
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You remember that time with Mr. Clavin?
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00:06:54,809 --> 00:06:56,685
Oh, yes, and the ferret.
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00:06:56,769 --> 00:06:57,937
[BOTH LAUGHING]
155
00:07:00,273 --> 00:07:02,316
He was about to go on his route,
156
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,738
and we shoved that angry
ferret into his mailbag.
157
00:07:05,822 --> 00:07:09,408
Oh, my.
Exactly how do you make a ferret angry?
158
00:07:09,492 --> 00:07:13,038
Well, for starters, you
shove him into a mailbag.
159
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:14,914
FRASIER: God, that was funny.
160
00:07:14,998 --> 00:07:17,834
Do you remember the
expression on his face?
161
00:07:17,918 --> 00:07:23,007
Oh, no, I never saw his expression.
I was too busy looking at Mr. Clavin.
162
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,475
Woody, let me get you another cold one.
163
00:07:31,559 --> 00:07:33,478
-Oh, thanks.
-Oh, gosh, I tell you,
164
00:07:33,562 --> 00:07:35,563
this has just been the best evening.
165
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[CHUCKLES] My God,
166
00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:39,901
it's like reliving all my old days
at Cheers, only without Lilith.
167
00:07:39,985 --> 00:07:43,698
Boy, that's a trip to
Bountiful, let me tell you.
168
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,658
These guys are really going
through the beers, aren't they?
169
00:07:46,742 --> 00:07:49,329
Oh, yes.
If this keeps up, you may have to fish out
170
00:07:49,413 --> 00:07:52,040
that emergency can
you keep in the toilet tank.
171
00:07:52,124 --> 00:07:54,127
Here you are, Woods.
172
00:07:54,669 --> 00:07:55,836
Oh, well, you know what?
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00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,089
On second thought, I think I'm gonna pass.
174
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,216
I'm feeling a little bit jet-lagged.
175
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,886
-All right, you wanna call it a night?
-I probably should.
176
00:08:02,970 --> 00:08:06,264
But this was so much fun.
I'd really like to do it again.
177
00:08:06,348 --> 00:08:08,101
All right. Well, how about lunch tomorrow?
178
00:08:08,185 --> 00:08:10,228
-Oh, yeah, that sounds great.
-Okay.
179
00:08:10,312 --> 00:08:13,397
-Hey, goodbye, y'all. Nice to meet you.
-Yeah, you too. Come back.
180
00:08:13,481 --> 00:08:16,235
You know, Woody, there's a
new gourmet Mexican restaurant
181
00:08:16,319 --> 00:08:18,112
down near your hotel I'd love to try.
182
00:08:18,196 --> 00:08:21,240
It's called Dos Burros.
It sounds muy delicioso.
183
00:08:21,324 --> 00:08:23,409
-I didn't know you speak Spanish.
-Oh, well…
184
00:08:23,493 --> 00:08:26,454
I know that dos means "two."
What's burro mean?
185
00:08:26,538 --> 00:08:29,041
Oh, same as in English. Jackass.
186
00:08:29,125 --> 00:08:31,544
-Sorry, just asking.
-Wha…
187
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:38,927
[DOOR OPENS]
188
00:08:39,011 --> 00:08:41,221
-MARTIN: Hey, guys, how was lunch?
-WOODY: Oh, great.
189
00:08:41,305 --> 00:08:43,266
If we told one old
story, we told a hundred.
190
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:45,268
[ALL LAUGH]
191
00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:47,562
-How are you doing, little guy?
-His name's Eddie.
192
00:08:47,646 --> 00:08:50,482
Oh, Eddie. Good for you, Mr. Crane.
193
00:08:50,566 --> 00:08:53,444
They have good days
and they have bad days.
194
00:08:54,153 --> 00:08:58,658
Woody, here's that Seattle guidebook
I was telling you about. Right here.
195
00:08:58,742 --> 00:09:00,660
-Oh, thanks.
-Get a load of that, huh?
196
00:09:00,744 --> 00:09:01,828
[CHUCKLES]
197
00:09:02,955 --> 00:09:05,207
Wow, look at that view.
198
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:07,626
-You can see the whole city.
-Uh-huh.
199
00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:10,005
When you turn around it's even better.
200
00:09:12,883 --> 00:09:15,343
Oh, yeah, you're right. This is better.
201
00:09:15,427 --> 00:09:16,929
No, no, no. Look and see there…
202
00:09:17,013 --> 00:09:18,139
Oh!
203
00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,348
[CHUCKLES]
204
00:09:19,432 --> 00:09:22,059
-Hey, yeah, you mind if I go out there?
-No, you go ahead.
205
00:09:22,143 --> 00:09:23,311
[CHUCKLES]
206
00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:24,563
Hey, you remember that time
207
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,357
we went out on the balcony at
Melville's and threw pudding?
208
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:28,609
[BOTH LAUGHING]
209
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,030
I don't think I ever laughed
harder in my entire life.
210
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:37,912
-Put a bullet in my head.
-What's going on?
211
00:09:37,996 --> 00:09:41,999
God, I have absolutely
nothing in common with this man
212
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,376
except things that happened ten years ago.
213
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,129
I thought you had a fun time last night.
214
00:09:46,213 --> 00:09:48,548
Well, yes. We had exactly
the same time this afternoon,
215
00:09:48,632 --> 00:09:49,883
and it wasn't nearly as fun.
216
00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:52,678
The same stories and variations thereof.
217
00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:56,098
Being forced to laugh over and over.
218
00:09:56,182 --> 00:09:58,477
I swear, if I never get
another shoulder noogie
219
00:09:58,561 --> 00:10:02,147
-I will die a happy man.
-Oh, don't feel bad.
220
00:10:02,231 --> 00:10:04,483
You've been a good friend,
you showed him a nice time,
221
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:07,070
all that's left is for you to
go in there, tell him goodbye.
222
00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:08,321
[DOOR OPENS]
223
00:10:08,405 --> 00:10:11,491
I guess when all this is over I will
have learned a very valuable lesson.
224
00:10:11,575 --> 00:10:12,785
[DOOR CLOSES]
225
00:10:12,869 --> 00:10:15,704
Sometimes, you can have
too much of a good thing.
226
00:10:15,788 --> 00:10:18,165
Got to know when to say when.
227
00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:19,918
The past is just that, the past.
228
00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:23,213
You can never go home again. Less is more.
229
00:10:23,297 --> 00:10:25,799
Wish you would have
started with that last one.
230
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,931
Well, Woods, huh?
231
00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:33,684
It's been great seeing you.
232
00:10:34,226 --> 00:10:36,353
-Oh, yeah, hey…
-Come on, give me…
233
00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:37,813
Give me a good hug, huh?
234
00:10:37,897 --> 00:10:39,690
[LAUGHS]
235
00:10:39,774 --> 00:10:42,777
You gotta promise me you'll give
my love to everybody back at the bar.
236
00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,279
-Oh, I will.
-Okay.
237
00:10:44,363 --> 00:10:46,197
And give that beautiful wife of yours
238
00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:48,367
and those two kids a big
kiss from Uncle Frasier.
239
00:10:48,451 --> 00:10:51,537
-You got it.
-And don't be a stranger, okay?
240
00:10:51,621 --> 00:10:52,746
No, I won't. I won't.
241
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:53,916
[BOTH LAUGH]
242
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:59,254
So where are we going for dinner tonight?
243
00:11:05,470 --> 00:11:08,307
-Niles.
-Oh, Frasier.
244
00:11:08,391 --> 00:11:12,060
Odd to see you without Woody in tow.
Is he off teasing ferrets?
245
00:11:12,144 --> 00:11:15,523
Niles, listen, I've been having
such a great time with Woody,
246
00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:17,692
I was hoping, maybe
tonight you'd like to join us.
247
00:11:17,776 --> 00:11:19,569
-We plan to go out…
-You can save it.
248
00:11:19,653 --> 00:11:22,031
Dad brought me up to speed
on your reunion of the damned.
249
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,741
-Oh, God.
-I would love to help.
250
00:11:23,825 --> 00:11:27,202
-I'm sorry, you're on your own.
-No, no, please. Really, I'm desperate.
251
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,664
Do you have any idea how
difficult it is to feign interest
252
00:11:29,748 --> 00:11:31,708
in the same old stories
over and over again?
253
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,460
And you call yourself a psychiatrist?
254
00:11:33,544 --> 00:11:34,669
You wouldn't last a week
255
00:11:34,753 --> 00:11:36,172
-in private practice.
-Oh.
256
00:11:36,256 --> 00:11:38,299
Speaking of which,
my six o'clock is waiting.
257
00:11:38,383 --> 00:11:40,259
-Triple espresso to go.
-Heh-heh. Thank you.
258
00:11:40,343 --> 00:11:43,138
Niles, please. Please, I need you.
259
00:11:43,222 --> 00:11:45,891
It's gonna be an
excruciating journey into…
260
00:11:45,975 --> 00:11:47,100
Oh, God… Roz.
261
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:48,310
[LAUGHS]
262
00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:50,730
Say, you know, are you
up for a night on the town?
263
00:11:50,814 --> 00:11:53,483
This wouldn't be the invitation
Niles just blew off, would it?
264
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:55,818
Oh, all right. Here. Please.
265
00:11:55,902 --> 00:11:58,072
My old friend Woody's
dragging me out again tonight.
266
00:11:58,156 --> 00:11:59,907
I could really use a buffer.
267
00:11:59,991 --> 00:12:03,244
He's taking me to some
God-awful karaoke bar.
268
00:12:03,328 --> 00:12:04,621
-Are you gonna sing?
-No.
269
00:12:04,705 --> 00:12:06,414
-Okay, I'll go.
-Really? You will?
270
00:12:06,498 --> 00:12:08,666
I have a babysitter tonight.
My plans fell through.
271
00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:12,713
-Karaoke might be fun.
-Karaoke, tonight? Oh, I'd love to.
272
00:12:12,797 --> 00:12:15,049
Well, Gil, I'm not sure you'd enjoy this…
273
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:18,011
Nonsense. If we go to the one
on Pike, I keep a locker there
274
00:12:18,095 --> 00:12:20,931
where I store my own
microphone and show jackets.
275
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,894
-Hey, guys. Hi, Roz.
-Oh, hi, Noel.
276
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,730
I see you're at our table.
277
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:29,440
GIL: "Our table"?
278
00:12:29,524 --> 00:12:31,276
Oh, is there an office romance brewing?
279
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,445
No, Gil, we're just friends. Right, Noel?
280
00:12:33,529 --> 00:12:34,738
[NOEL CHUCKLES]
281
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,990
So far.
282
00:12:37,074 --> 00:12:39,119
Well, who knows what
the night has in store.
283
00:12:39,203 --> 00:12:41,329
We're all going for karaoke.
Why don't you join us?
284
00:12:41,413 --> 00:12:43,915
-Count me in.
-Is that my beeper?
285
00:12:43,999 --> 00:12:45,709
-I didn't hear anything.
-Babysitter.
286
00:12:45,793 --> 00:12:47,545
She calls in an emergency. Gotta go, bye.
287
00:12:47,629 --> 00:12:48,754
-Roz…
-ROZ: Taxi!
288
00:12:48,838 --> 00:12:52,509
-Roz, wait!
-Roz, wait!
289
00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:55,888
Well, looks like it's just us boys.
290
00:13:00,227 --> 00:13:02,312
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV]
291
00:13:04,898 --> 00:13:08,110
-Oh, that was beautiful.
-Yeah.
292
00:13:08,194 --> 00:13:09,945
You know, Niles, that was the first movie
293
00:13:10,029 --> 00:13:11,405
I ever took your mother to see.
294
00:13:11,489 --> 00:13:14,659
I deliberately picked a tearjerker
so I'd be there to comfort her.
295
00:13:14,743 --> 00:13:17,996
At the first sniffle I was
on her like an octopus.
296
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,665
You men.
297
00:13:19,749 --> 00:13:22,168
You always find a way to
make us more vulnerable
298
00:13:22,252 --> 00:13:24,712
to your clumsy advances.
299
00:13:24,796 --> 00:13:27,382
Oh, that wine went straight to my head.
300
00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:28,592
[CHUCKLES]
301
00:13:28,676 --> 00:13:30,928
Let's just kill off the bottle, shall we?
302
00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:36,434
Hey, Fras.
303
00:13:37,435 --> 00:13:40,063
-Turn off the music.
-Oh, well, we were just…
304
00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:43,692
Dad, I never wanna hear music again.
305
00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:44,943
[MUSIC STOPS]
306
00:13:45,027 --> 00:13:49,199
Oh, I take it you had a
whiz-bang time at the karaoke bar?
307
00:13:50,075 --> 00:13:51,868
For starters,
308
00:13:51,952 --> 00:13:55,498
Woody sang "What Kind of Fool Am I?"
309
00:13:56,457 --> 00:14:00,378
Which quickly turned into an
audience-participation number.
310
00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:07,260
Then Gil and Noel did a charming duet
311
00:14:07,344 --> 00:14:10,307
of "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better."
312
00:14:10,807 --> 00:14:12,851
They were both wrong.
313
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:20,526
I guess the highlight of
the evening was when Gil,
314
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,780
after one too many kir royales,
315
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:28,745
performed a haunting
rendition of "I Feel Pretty…"
316
00:14:31,623 --> 00:14:33,958
…during the latter verses
of which Noel joined him
317
00:14:34,042 --> 00:14:38,839
on the apron of the stage
and translated into Klingon.
318
00:14:44,638 --> 00:14:47,139
Well, I think I'm just
gonna go off to bed,
319
00:14:47,223 --> 00:14:50,352
so I can get up bright and early for
my harbor cruise with Woody tomorrow.
320
00:14:50,436 --> 00:14:51,853
What? You're seeing him again?
321
00:14:51,937 --> 00:14:54,189
Why don't you just tell the
guy you're busy for once?
322
00:14:54,273 --> 00:14:56,860
But, Dad, he knows that I'm not.
323
00:14:57,694 --> 00:15:00,863
Besides, I'd hate to hurt his feelings.
324
00:15:00,947 --> 00:15:03,117
I'd hate to have him think
that I've outgrown him.
325
00:15:03,201 --> 00:15:05,327
-But you have.
-Well, that's the problem.
326
00:15:05,411 --> 00:15:07,746
I've moved on to bigger
and better things in my life.
327
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:08,956
He's still pouring drinks
328
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,586
back at the same bar he's
been at for the last 15 years.
329
00:15:12,670 --> 00:15:16,047
-Don't you think that's kind of sad?
-If I were you, I'd just lie to him.
330
00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:18,259
Tell him you have to work
or you met a pretty girl.
331
00:15:18,343 --> 00:15:20,553
♪ Who's that pretty girl
in the mirror there? ♪
332
00:15:20,637 --> 00:15:24,099
♪ What mirror, where?
Who could that attractive girl be? ♪
333
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:26,602
♪ Which, what, where, whom? Who? ♪
334
00:15:26,686 --> 00:15:28,353
-Daphne. Daphne.
-♪ Who? ♪
335
00:15:28,437 --> 00:15:29,814
Daphne!
336
00:15:31,149 --> 00:15:32,483
Bedtime.
337
00:15:32,567 --> 00:15:34,777
I used to be with the Light Opera Works.
338
00:15:34,861 --> 00:15:37,238
Yes, fine. And I used to be a fan dancer.
339
00:15:37,322 --> 00:15:39,200
Get out. Go to bed.
340
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:42,661
She seems a little wobbly.
341
00:15:42,745 --> 00:15:44,665
-Perhaps I should…
-Niles.
342
00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:48,752
[DOORBELL RINGS]
343
00:15:51,548 --> 00:15:54,008
Oh, surprise. Guess who?
344
00:15:54,092 --> 00:15:57,220
Dear God. I just left him.
345
00:15:57,804 --> 00:16:02,017
What moonlit, berry-picking expedition
does he have planned for me now?
346
00:16:03,561 --> 00:16:06,189
I can't take this anymore.
All right, all right, fine.
347
00:16:06,273 --> 00:16:08,984
I'm just gonna have to lie to him.
348
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,862
-Woody.
-Hey, Dr. Crane.
349
00:16:11,946 --> 00:16:13,155
-WOODY: Hey, everybody.
-Hi.
350
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:17,242
Listen, I… When I got back to my
hotel, I called Kelly to say good night
351
00:16:17,326 --> 00:16:18,995
and turns out our little girl
352
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,122
-has an ear infection,
-Oh.
353
00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:23,166
So I'm taking the redeye right now,
354
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,210
and my cab is waiting for me downstairs.
355
00:16:25,294 --> 00:16:28,047
Oh, well, Woody, I guess
this means goodbye then.
356
00:16:28,131 --> 00:16:31,425
-Yeah, I'm afraid so.
-Well, all right. Give me a hug.
357
00:16:31,509 --> 00:16:33,804
Remember to give my love
to the folks back at Cheers.
358
00:16:33,888 --> 00:16:35,013
-Oh, will do.
-Okay.
359
00:16:35,097 --> 00:16:37,349
I hope that little girl of
yours gets better real soon.
360
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,434
Thank you.
It was great spending time with you.
361
00:16:39,518 --> 00:16:41,437
-It was great seeing you too, Woody.
-Yeah.
362
00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:44,399
-It's a shame we have to cut it short.
-It sure is. Goodbye.
363
00:16:44,483 --> 00:16:46,735
-Have a good trip.
-NILES: Take care. Bye-bye.
364
00:16:46,819 --> 00:16:48,821
Good night, Woods.
365
00:16:51,657 --> 00:16:55,913
God bless the virus that
invaded that little girl's ear canal.
366
00:17:04,255 --> 00:17:06,841
-Congratulations. I'll be off.
-Oh, no, no, Niles.
367
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:09,010
Tell you what.
To celebrate my new-found freedom,
368
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,346
we go over to that little
cant in a I mentioned earlier,
369
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,764
and I'll buy you a late supper.
370
00:17:12,848 --> 00:17:16,269
-We'll have a margarita.
-Oh, well, thank you, Frasier.
371
00:17:16,353 --> 00:17:19,731
And after that, we'll go by that
pricey new cigar club. It's my treat.
372
00:17:19,815 --> 00:17:21,608
Well, hey, big spender.
373
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,777
[CHUCKLES]
374
00:17:24,529 --> 00:17:26,239
Is everything all right?
375
00:17:27,615 --> 00:17:31,953
The last time I heard that
phrase, Gil was belting it out
376
00:17:32,037 --> 00:17:35,500
while sitting on the lap of
a Japanese businessman.
377
00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:39,254
Let's get that margarita.
378
00:17:43,217 --> 00:17:45,343
-Thank you.
-I think you're gonna like this place.
379
00:17:45,427 --> 00:17:47,679
Well, I do already. N.M.B.
380
00:17:47,763 --> 00:17:49,891
-N.M.B.?
-No mariachi band.
381
00:17:49,975 --> 00:17:51,059
[LAUGHS]
382
00:17:54,312 --> 00:17:56,231
Dear God. Quick.
Hide your face with your menu.
383
00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:58,650
-What…
-Woody's over there.
384
00:17:58,734 --> 00:18:00,277
If he sees us, he'll know I lied.
385
00:18:00,361 --> 00:18:03,156
-When did you lie?
-I told him I was going out of town.
386
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,840
No, you didn't.
He told you he was going out of town.
387
00:18:06,827 --> 00:18:08,286
That's right.
388
00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:11,665
He lied. He should be hiding. Woody.
389
00:18:11,749 --> 00:18:13,501
Woody.
390
00:18:18,716 --> 00:18:22,344
For God's sake. Stay here.
391
00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:27,309
[TAPS]
392
00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:29,185
[KNOCKING]
393
00:18:29,269 --> 00:18:31,480
Woody, come out of there, please.
394
00:18:31,564 --> 00:18:33,691
[WOODY SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
395
00:18:36,193 --> 00:18:37,987
I don't understand this.
396
00:18:38,071 --> 00:18:40,782
It means, "I don't speak English."
397
00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:43,410
Would you just come out here?
398
00:18:44,746 --> 00:18:48,249
Woody, what is going on?
399
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:50,751
I can't even look at you, I'm so ashamed.
400
00:18:50,835 --> 00:18:53,672
-I lied to you, Dr. Crane.
-Why did you do that?
401
00:18:53,756 --> 00:18:57,593
Well, I guess I didn't want you to
know it was me in the bathroom.
402
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,138
No, Woody.
403
00:19:01,222 --> 00:19:05,269
Earlier this evening, you told me
that you were going back to Boston.
404
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:10,190
Oh, well, I feel terrible saying this,
405
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:14,195
but I just couldn't face another
day of us hanging out together.
406
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:16,489
What, you weren't
enjoying our time together?
407
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:19,994
Oh, you know, I had a
great time that first night,
408
00:19:20,078 --> 00:19:23,414
but after that, I don't know,
you were still having a good time,
409
00:19:23,498 --> 00:19:26,793
but it was less and less fun for me.
410
00:19:26,877 --> 00:19:29,004
[LAUGHING]
411
00:19:31,090 --> 00:19:33,259
It's just too funny.
412
00:19:33,343 --> 00:19:37,221
See, you're still having a
good time and I'm miserable.
413
00:19:37,305 --> 00:19:39,098
Why didn't you say something?
414
00:19:39,182 --> 00:19:42,728
Well, I don't know.
I didn't wanna hurt your feelings.
415
00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:44,813
To tell you the truth, I was…
416
00:19:44,897 --> 00:19:46,942
I felt kind of bad for you.
417
00:19:47,442 --> 00:19:48,943
You felt bad for me?
418
00:19:49,027 --> 00:19:51,279
Well, no offense, but look at your life.
419
00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:55,243
You live with your dad, you
hang out with your brother.
420
00:19:57,078 --> 00:19:59,788
You have no plans and…
421
00:19:59,872 --> 00:20:02,167
Let's face it, those
karaoke friends of yours,
422
00:20:02,251 --> 00:20:05,201
I wouldn't want to be stranded
on a desert island with them.
423
00:20:05,796 --> 00:20:11,344
Oh, well, maybe that English guy.
He was a good entertainer.
424
00:20:11,428 --> 00:20:14,598
Really, Woody, there's
nothing to worry about.
425
00:20:14,682 --> 00:20:17,309
I know my life may
seem rather dreary to you,
426
00:20:17,393 --> 00:20:19,937
but it's really quite enjoyable.
427
00:20:20,021 --> 00:20:22,690
In fact, it's even a lot of fun.
428
00:20:22,774 --> 00:20:26,027
I love my life now.
Honestly. You know what?
429
00:20:26,111 --> 00:20:28,739
I wouldn't trade my years
at Cheers for anything,
430
00:20:28,823 --> 00:20:32,868
but I am very happy with
my life the way it is today.
431
00:20:32,952 --> 00:20:35,455
-You mean it?
-Yes.
432
00:20:35,539 --> 00:20:37,707
That's what makes this
conversation so ironic.
433
00:20:37,791 --> 00:20:41,503
You see, you see my life as some
sort of middle-age compromise
434
00:20:42,172 --> 00:20:45,549
and, well, just the other day
I was thinking about your life.
435
00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:49,346
-And all I could think was…
-What?
436
00:20:52,558 --> 00:20:54,060
How lucky you are.
437
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,064
You see, you found where you belong,
and you've made your home there.
438
00:20:58,148 --> 00:21:01,818
I guess for some of us it
just takes longer than others.
439
00:21:01,902 --> 00:21:03,153
[CHUCKLES]
440
00:21:03,237 --> 00:21:05,447
Well, I just stopped in for a beer…
441
00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:08,075
Well, Niles will be on the
phone for a couple more minutes.
442
00:21:08,159 --> 00:21:10,161
Why don't we just have
one last drink together?
443
00:21:10,245 --> 00:21:11,538
-Well, that'd be nice.
-Okay.
444
00:21:11,622 --> 00:21:14,083
Barkeep, couple of beers here, please.
445
00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:18,129
You know, I meant what I said
446
00:21:18,213 --> 00:21:22,925
about I had a great time hanging
out with you that first night.
447
00:21:23,009 --> 00:21:24,970
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
448
00:21:25,054 --> 00:21:28,473
Maybe we could do it
again in five or ten years.
449
00:21:28,557 --> 00:21:31,937
Absolutely. Ten years it is.
450
00:21:33,230 --> 00:21:34,940
Cheers.
451
00:21:35,774 --> 00:21:37,527
Cheers.
452
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,282
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]