1 00:00:09,197 --> 00:00:11,574 Go ahead, Sophie, I'm listening. 2 00:00:11,658 --> 00:00:13,409 SOPHIE [ON PHONE]: Hi, Dr. Crane. 3 00:00:13,493 --> 00:00:15,453 My husband's having some friends over 4 00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:16,996 to watch the game on Sunday. 5 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:20,459 I think it'd be nice if some of my girlfriends could come over too. 6 00:00:20,626 --> 00:00:22,628 -Sounds reasonable. -Exactly. 7 00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:24,171 I mean, it's just football. 8 00:00:24,255 --> 00:00:28,092 LARRY [ON PHONE]: Not football, Einstein. The Super Bowl. 9 00:00:28,384 --> 00:00:30,845 Ah. That would be your doting husband now. 10 00:00:31,012 --> 00:00:33,849 SOPHIE: Larry, this is a private conversation. 11 00:00:34,016 --> 00:00:36,059 And for God's sakes, use a plate. 12 00:00:37,102 --> 00:00:39,229 Why don't you put your husband on the line? 13 00:00:39,313 --> 00:00:42,357 -SOPHIE: Pick up. -LARRY: Aw, jeez. Hello? 14 00:00:42,524 --> 00:00:46,988 Larry, I gotta tell you, I'm afraid I side with your wife on this one. 15 00:00:47,155 --> 00:00:49,782 LARRY: That just proves you don't know the first thing about football. 16 00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:51,784 What I do or do not know about football has… 17 00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:54,412 LARRY: How's this? My wife's friends can come over 18 00:00:54,579 --> 00:00:57,415 if you can answer one little football question. Like… 19 00:00:57,582 --> 00:00:58,792 I don't see that's necess… 20 00:00:58,876 --> 00:01:00,710 LARRY: You're down by six. You're on your own 40. 21 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,546 Three seconds left. What do you do? 22 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,549 Well, all right. You would… 23 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,887 You would take your receivers 24 00:01:11,556 --> 00:01:13,266 and line them up 25 00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:15,727 and then throw a pass. 26 00:01:15,935 --> 00:01:17,520 A long, long pass. 27 00:01:17,687 --> 00:01:19,564 LARRY: And what's the name for that? 28 00:01:23,276 --> 00:01:25,237 A Hail Mary. 29 00:01:25,988 --> 00:01:28,407 Sophie and Larry, I hope you enjoy the game. 30 00:01:28,616 --> 00:01:34,372 In the meanwhile, this is Coach Crane saying, I'm listening. 31 00:01:35,539 --> 00:01:37,458 I'm impressed. You're so good at charades. 32 00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:40,629 I'm impressed you could mime a virgin. 33 00:01:43,215 --> 00:01:45,008 So, Roz, are you walking out? 34 00:01:45,175 --> 00:01:48,261 No, I got stuff to do. I've got some cards to rack 35 00:01:48,428 --> 00:01:50,889 and I wanna put together some Best of Crane tapes. 36 00:01:50,973 --> 00:01:53,642 -Oh, your mother's still in town? -In town, in my apartment. 37 00:01:53,726 --> 00:01:56,520 And when I left this morning, in my refrigerator, smelling my milk. 38 00:01:56,604 --> 00:01:58,189 -Oh, Lord. -I love her, 39 00:01:58,356 --> 00:02:00,816 I just wish I could get a couple of hours to myself one night. 40 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:02,611 Why don't you just ask her? 41 00:02:02,695 --> 00:02:05,280 She might enjoy time to herself. I know my dad does. 42 00:02:05,489 --> 00:02:09,451 You are so lucky. I wish my mother drank alone. 43 00:02:11,286 --> 00:02:15,040 You know, Roz, your mom's about the same age as my dad, isn't she? 44 00:02:15,208 --> 00:02:17,752 -Yeah, I guess. -Does she date much? 45 00:02:17,961 --> 00:02:20,714 Since my father left? Practically never. No, hang on. 46 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,298 No, no, hear me out, Roz. 47 00:02:22,465 --> 00:02:25,135 Dad hasn't dated anybody since he and Sherry broke up. 48 00:02:25,343 --> 00:02:27,261 I'm starting to worry he's lost his nerve. 49 00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:30,391 A date with your mom could be a tremendous favor to him. 50 00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:32,852 -I don't know. -Come on, I'll tell you what. 51 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:34,686 It's awkward, but we can minimize that. 52 00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:36,396 Niles and I are having dinner with him. 53 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,649 We'll take him to McGinty's, he'll feel comfortable. 54 00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:40,317 You and your mom can happen by. 55 00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:43,196 We'll see what transpires. They'll never even know it's a fix-up. 56 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,282 Oh, what the hell. I'll give it a shot. 57 00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:46,992 -Okay. -How does 5:00 sound? 58 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,036 Five? Your mother's ready for dinner at 5:00? 59 00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:53,248 I keep her on Wisconsin time. That way, she's in bed by 8:00. 60 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,718 MARTIN: Hey, look what I got here, boys. 61 00:03:03,885 --> 00:03:05,470 A Funyun Onion. 62 00:03:05,636 --> 00:03:07,765 The chef sent it over with his compliments. 63 00:03:08,223 --> 00:03:09,724 I wonder what his insults are like. 64 00:03:09,808 --> 00:03:10,851 [NILES CHUCKLES] 65 00:03:11,018 --> 00:03:13,437 -Hey, Bonnie. -Hey, Marty. 66 00:03:13,645 --> 00:03:15,397 -You must be Frasier, -Why, yes. 67 00:03:15,564 --> 00:03:17,148 -The big radio star. -Hello. 68 00:03:17,232 --> 00:03:19,527 -Your dad is so proud of you. -Oh, Dad. 69 00:03:19,694 --> 00:03:23,740 He talks about you all the time. Who's your friend? 70 00:03:23,907 --> 00:03:24,991 [MARTIN CHUCKLES] 71 00:03:25,158 --> 00:03:28,036 Now, what's wrong with you? I told you about my other son. 72 00:03:28,244 --> 00:03:32,374 Oh, of course. What am I thinking? Nice to meet you, Eddie. 73 00:03:34,752 --> 00:03:36,628 This is Niles. How about some beers? 74 00:03:36,712 --> 00:03:37,922 BONNIE: Coming right up. 75 00:03:40,424 --> 00:03:41,634 -Oh, God. -What? 76 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:45,305 The group coming in the door. They're from the Shangri-La. 77 00:03:45,514 --> 00:03:48,183 -Whoa, it's the Coyote! Hey! -Yes, hello. 78 00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:51,269 Evening, evening, Jimbo. Check you later. 79 00:03:51,436 --> 00:03:53,104 [MARTIN LAUGHS] 80 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,523 Wow, you got a nickname already. 81 00:03:55,607 --> 00:03:57,567 -That's great. The Coyote? -NILES: Yes. 82 00:03:57,776 --> 00:04:00,404 -And how did you earn that honorific? -NILES: Ooh… 83 00:04:00,613 --> 00:04:02,532 It was quite the merry road, yes. 84 00:04:02,698 --> 00:04:06,911 It evolved from Niles to Nilesy to Niley to Nile E. Coyote 85 00:04:07,078 --> 00:04:09,455 and now, simply, the Coyote. 86 00:04:09,622 --> 00:04:10,915 [HOWLING] 87 00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:16,839 Well, just when I thought it couldn't be refined any further. 88 00:04:17,422 --> 00:04:21,802 Oh. Goodness, look who's here. Roz! 89 00:04:21,969 --> 00:04:24,722 What? We don't see enough of each other during the day? 90 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,141 FRASIER: isn't this amazing? 91 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,893 Hello, Joanna. 92 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,980 -It's nice to see you again. -Nice to see you again too. 93 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,731 Please, won't you join us? 94 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,400 No, we don't want to intrude. 95 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:38,070 Oh, no, no, no, please, the more, the merrier. 96 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:40,990 All right. Mom, this is Frasier's dad, Martin Crane. 97 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,867 -This is my mother, Joanna Doyle. -Nice to meet you. 98 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,036 -And this is my other son, Niles. -How do you do? 99 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,537 -It's a pleasure. -Likewise. 100 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,959 Roz, would you just look at the two of them? 101 00:04:51,126 --> 00:04:53,211 How did you two manage to finish all that? 102 00:04:53,295 --> 00:04:56,590 Oh, please, this is how our generation ate every day. 103 00:04:56,798 --> 00:05:00,927 I used to live on cigarettes, whiskey sours and bacon cheeseburgers. 104 00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:03,097 Yeah, and what about breakfast? 105 00:05:03,264 --> 00:05:05,474 Fried eggs, sausage patties, hash browns. 106 00:05:05,641 --> 00:05:07,935 My God. Last night, I ate a profiterole 107 00:05:08,102 --> 00:05:10,702 and lay awake till dawn, waiting for my heart attack. 108 00:05:12,356 --> 00:05:14,650 Those were simpler times, weren't they, Marty? 109 00:05:14,734 --> 00:05:17,905 Oh, yeah, we didn't worry about dumb things like cholesterol. 110 00:05:18,071 --> 00:05:19,948 We worried about putting food on the table, 111 00:05:20,032 --> 00:05:22,409 keeping the yard clean and the car shiny. 112 00:05:22,576 --> 00:05:26,163 -And the H-bomb. -Well, yeah, right. 113 00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:29,667 Roz, we better get going if we're gonna get our work done tonight. 114 00:05:29,876 --> 00:05:31,169 I should be running too. 115 00:05:31,377 --> 00:05:33,879 But Mom and I are going to that jazz club on 5th. 116 00:05:33,963 --> 00:05:36,758 But we promised to finish those promos tonight. 117 00:05:36,925 --> 00:05:38,259 Oh, right. 118 00:05:38,426 --> 00:05:41,221 -Mom, I'm sorry. I totally forgot. -It's okay. 119 00:05:41,388 --> 00:05:46,185 Wait, I've got an idea. Dad, since I'm kidnapping Roz, 120 00:05:46,352 --> 00:05:48,186 why don't you take Joanna to the jazz club? 121 00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:49,563 Well, sure, I'd love to. 122 00:05:49,772 --> 00:05:52,607 -Is that okay with you? -If Martin's game, I'm game. 123 00:05:52,691 --> 00:05:53,944 -Well, perfect. -Great. 124 00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:56,404 Okay, you kids just have some coffee. 125 00:05:56,571 --> 00:05:58,740 We'll see you back at the apartment later. 126 00:05:58,907 --> 00:06:00,075 MARTIN: All right. 127 00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:03,662 -It was very, very nice to meet you. -Thank you. 128 00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:06,916 Look at them. They think we don't know this is a setup. 129 00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:08,750 Well, how could we figure it out? 130 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:12,213 We're just a retired detective and an attorney general. 131 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,549 You were right. They didn't suspect a thing. 132 00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,969 I told you, Roz, just leave it to the master. 133 00:06:20,472 --> 00:06:23,058 God, I thought they'd be home by now. 134 00:06:23,225 --> 00:06:27,479 Roz, would you please relax and watch the pageant with us? 135 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:30,023 They're right in the middle of the talent competition. 136 00:06:30,107 --> 00:06:33,402 It's shameless the way they're sucking up to the international panel of judges. 137 00:06:33,486 --> 00:06:37,490 Miss Germany just played "Lady of Spain" on her French horn. 138 00:06:37,699 --> 00:06:40,200 At least it wasn't half as bad as that tone-deaf performance 139 00:06:40,284 --> 00:06:43,204 by the aptly named Miss Singapore. 140 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:48,836 You're gonna chew that nail off. Stop it. 141 00:06:49,003 --> 00:06:52,422 I can't help it. I'm nervous. Do you think it's gonna turn out okay? 142 00:06:52,506 --> 00:06:54,257 -Who cares? -DAPHNE: Not for Miss Brazil. 143 00:06:54,341 --> 00:06:56,676 Look at the tree trunks on her. She's her own little rainforest. 144 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:57,845 [FRASIER LAUGHS] 145 00:07:00,598 --> 00:07:03,017 I just keep worrying that she's gonna have a lousy time 146 00:07:03,101 --> 00:07:06,187 and it'll be all my fault. Screwing up, like always. 147 00:07:06,271 --> 00:07:08,857 Oh, your mother doesn't think you're a screw-up. 148 00:07:09,024 --> 00:07:13,279 Yeah? In high school, I ran my own informal shoplifting clinic. 149 00:07:13,446 --> 00:07:15,280 In college, I dropped out of pre-law 150 00:07:15,364 --> 00:07:19,035 because it interfered with Bruce Springsteen's touring schedule. 151 00:07:19,201 --> 00:07:21,287 And now, I am currently an unwed mother. 152 00:07:21,454 --> 00:07:23,164 -What would you call me? -Tramp. 153 00:07:23,664 --> 00:07:24,708 Daphne! 154 00:07:26,043 --> 00:07:27,627 It's Miss Venezuela. 155 00:07:27,836 --> 00:07:31,882 If that dress of hers was slit any higher, you could see Caracas. 156 00:07:33,258 --> 00:07:35,886 Oh. Oh, Roz, so what if they don't get along? 157 00:07:36,053 --> 00:07:37,903 I mean, my God, so we made a mistake. 158 00:07:38,097 --> 00:07:40,516 You don't understand. My mother doesn't make mistakes. 159 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,645 She does everything well. She's smart, successful, classy. 160 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:47,231 Oh, what the hell was I thinking? 161 00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:50,819 About what? Setting her up with my father? 162 00:07:51,028 --> 00:07:54,323 -No, that's not what I meant. -That is exactly what you meant. 163 00:07:54,531 --> 00:07:56,200 Well, okay, Frasier. 164 00:07:56,366 --> 00:07:59,411 No offense, your father is a nice man, but let's face it. 165 00:07:59,578 --> 00:08:02,832 My mother was the attorney general of Wisconsin. 166 00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:07,337 Well, I hope he remembers to curtsy before the Dairy Queen. 167 00:08:08,171 --> 00:08:10,799 This is ridiculous. I'm gonna watch this in my room. 168 00:08:10,965 --> 00:08:14,719 Miss Finland just laid out her plan to end world hunger and I missed it. 169 00:08:14,886 --> 00:08:16,055 [DOOR OPENING] 170 00:08:16,222 --> 00:08:18,766 -Oh, Lord, okay. Um… -They're back. 171 00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:22,520 Oh, Roz, that is the best promo of all. 172 00:08:22,686 --> 00:08:25,231 ROZ: Oh, hi. How was your evening? 173 00:08:25,397 --> 00:08:29,820 Oh, the jazz was first-rate, but I'm afraid I talked Martin's ear off. 174 00:08:29,986 --> 00:08:32,780 Oh, you're crazy. Your mother tells wonderful stories. 175 00:08:32,864 --> 00:08:34,824 I could have listened to her all night. 176 00:08:34,908 --> 00:08:36,701 You're either too kind or a little tipsy. 177 00:08:36,785 --> 00:08:38,370 But thank you. 178 00:08:38,578 --> 00:08:40,621 -Come on, Lambie. -Let me get my coat. 179 00:08:40,705 --> 00:08:42,166 I really had a lovely time. 180 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:44,418 I can't remember when I had a better time. 181 00:08:44,502 --> 00:08:46,253 We're gonna have to do this again. 182 00:08:46,337 --> 00:08:48,256 -Bye, Frasier. -Good night, Joanna. 183 00:08:48,464 --> 00:08:50,675 -Lambie. -MARTIN: Bye. 184 00:08:52,093 --> 00:08:56,515 So tell me all about it. Come on. 185 00:08:56,723 --> 00:08:59,017 Well, being a gentleman, I don't wanna go into details. 186 00:08:59,101 --> 00:09:04,022 -So suffice it to say, it stunk! -What? 187 00:09:04,231 --> 00:09:06,650 That was the dullest evening of my life. 188 00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:09,445 -The way she drones on and on. -Oh, no. 189 00:09:09,612 --> 00:09:11,447 Do you know how many metric tons of eggs 190 00:09:11,531 --> 00:09:13,157 Wisconsin produces every year? 191 00:09:13,241 --> 00:09:15,326 -No. -Well, I do. 192 00:09:15,535 --> 00:09:17,537 Look, Frasier, I know you meant well. 193 00:09:17,745 --> 00:09:21,345 But if you ever set me up again, I'll kill you in your sleep. Good night. 194 00:09:22,251 --> 00:09:24,336 [KNOCKING] 195 00:09:26,547 --> 00:09:27,590 Roz. 196 00:09:27,756 --> 00:09:30,759 I told my mom to meet me downstairs. I just had to come up and tell you. 197 00:09:30,843 --> 00:09:32,469 She had the best time. 198 00:09:32,553 --> 00:09:34,555 She can't wait to go out with your father again. 199 00:09:34,639 --> 00:09:36,975 Will you tell him to call her tomorrow? 200 00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:39,686 Frasier, this whole thing worked out like a dream. 201 00:09:39,895 --> 00:09:44,941 It's amazing. Her voice is still echoing in my head. 202 00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:48,321 Yes, it's like a fairy tale over here too. 203 00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:49,780 Oh! 204 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,120 I've just got to find some way to tell Roz. 205 00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:59,041 Well, why? It's just gonna hurt her mom's feelings. 206 00:09:59,208 --> 00:10:01,000 Her feelings are gonna be hurt anyway. 207 00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,711 She's here till Sunday. She's expecting him to call. 208 00:10:03,795 --> 00:10:05,297 Oh, dear God. 209 00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:08,133 At least this way, Roz can let her down easy. 210 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,220 It looks like both of us have difficult conversations ahead of us. 211 00:10:11,304 --> 00:10:12,889 -What's yours? -All week long, 212 00:10:13,056 --> 00:10:16,726 I have been getting less coffee and more foam in my cappuccino. 213 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,854 It's about time for someone to raise hell. 214 00:10:20,063 --> 00:10:21,231 Who's on steamer duty? 215 00:10:21,439 --> 00:10:23,941 Well, it's that hulking fellow, Thad. 216 00:10:24,025 --> 00:10:27,321 The one who doesn't react when his arm touches the steamer nozzle. 217 00:10:30,532 --> 00:10:32,576 Where is that suggestion box? 218 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,082 -ROZ: Oh, hey, Frasier. -Oh, Roz, hi. 219 00:10:37,249 --> 00:10:39,459 Double espresso to go, please. 220 00:10:39,626 --> 00:10:41,294 I really need to thank you again. 221 00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:43,546 My mother had the best time last night. 222 00:10:43,713 --> 00:10:46,091 And when we got home, we started talking. 223 00:10:46,299 --> 00:10:47,884 We ended up staying up half the night. 224 00:10:47,968 --> 00:10:50,804 -Oh, Roz, I'm glad for you, but… -it was like a wall came down. 225 00:10:50,888 --> 00:10:53,099 She just opened up to me. 226 00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:55,392 She started telling me about how hard it was on her 227 00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:58,354 when my dad left and how lonely she's been. 228 00:10:58,896 --> 00:11:00,856 It was like she was talking to a girlfriend, 229 00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:02,859 instead of her screw-up daughter. 230 00:11:03,026 --> 00:11:04,861 So has Martin called her yet? 231 00:11:05,612 --> 00:11:10,117 No. But he will, soon. Uh… 232 00:11:10,575 --> 00:11:11,952 He had a busy morning. 233 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,830 How does his weekend look? She's leaving Sunday night. 234 00:11:14,997 --> 00:11:16,708 Sunday? Oh, well, let's see. 235 00:11:16,874 --> 00:11:20,795 Tonight is poker night. That's no good. Uh… 236 00:11:21,004 --> 00:11:25,633 Saturday, he's made plans to drive Duke to Tacoma 237 00:11:25,842 --> 00:11:30,097 for that all-day Tacoma fest. 238 00:11:31,015 --> 00:11:34,768 Well, and Sunday we go to a matinee and then I drive her to the airport. 239 00:11:34,935 --> 00:11:36,353 Oh, darn. 240 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,564 Wait a minute, I can give my ticket to Martin and they can go together. 241 00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:41,651 No, no, no, Sunday's no good, because that's… 242 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,570 -Oh, right. It's the Super Bowl. -Right. The Super Bowl. 243 00:11:44,654 --> 00:11:47,573 And you know how Dad is about football. It's like a religion to him. 244 00:11:47,657 --> 00:11:50,910 In fact, he's made Niles and I promise that we'd watch it with him this year. 245 00:11:50,994 --> 00:11:53,120 Oh, well, okay, let's just forget about the tickets 246 00:11:53,204 --> 00:11:55,916 and we'll come over to your place and watch the game. 247 00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:58,125 Is there any reason why that won't work? 248 00:11:58,210 --> 00:12:00,046 -Not that I can come up with. -Oh. 249 00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:03,215 That's great. My mom's gonna be so excited. 250 00:12:03,299 --> 00:12:04,342 FRASIER: Oh. 251 00:12:04,508 --> 00:12:05,968 -Oh, thank you, Niles. -Oh, yeah. 252 00:12:06,052 --> 00:12:08,722 I'll see you Sunday at your Super Bowl party. 253 00:12:11,975 --> 00:12:15,479 I see you told Roz the news and she went insane. 254 00:12:17,564 --> 00:12:18,690 Couldn't do it. 255 00:12:19,316 --> 00:12:21,694 Told her we were watching the Super Bowl with Dad, 256 00:12:21,778 --> 00:12:23,612 and she and her mother are coming over. 257 00:12:23,696 --> 00:12:24,864 This is a nightmare. 258 00:12:25,031 --> 00:12:27,616 I know, I know. I've got to find some way to tell Dad. 259 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,745 I have to watch the Super Bowl? 260 00:12:31,829 --> 00:12:33,915 Suppose the sooner I tell him, the better. 261 00:12:33,999 --> 00:12:35,793 Oh, not necessarily. 262 00:12:36,001 --> 00:12:38,045 -What do you mean? -Well, you know Dad. 263 00:12:38,253 --> 00:12:41,047 If you warn him Joanna's coming over, he'll just bolt to McGinty's. 264 00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:43,758 If I were you, I would wait till five minutes before game time, 265 00:12:43,842 --> 00:12:46,512 then spring it on him. That way, he has no choice but to stay. 266 00:12:46,596 --> 00:12:48,931 Well, I think I owe him more than five minutes' warning. 267 00:12:49,015 --> 00:12:51,434 Besides that, Dad would never deliberately hurt Joanna 268 00:12:51,518 --> 00:12:52,852 by standing her up. 269 00:12:53,019 --> 00:12:55,146 He is first and foremost a gentleman. 270 00:12:55,355 --> 00:12:56,898 I saw Roz, so I hid outside 271 00:12:57,065 --> 00:13:00,611 in case that old gasbag of a mother was with her. 272 00:13:02,113 --> 00:13:05,408 Well, I guess she wasn't. Everybody's still awake. 273 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,127 MARTIN: Here we go. 274 00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:16,961 Look at those guys in the locker room. 275 00:13:17,045 --> 00:13:20,549 Nervous, hearts pounding, probably a little sick to their stomachs. 276 00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,300 -The poor kids. -Yes. 277 00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:23,801 Until I got out of high school, 278 00:13:23,885 --> 00:13:26,985 I didn't know there was any other way to feel in a locker room. 279 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,641 What's the matter with you? You keep looking at your watch. 280 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:30,810 -Was I? -Yeah. 281 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,519 Is there something on your mind? 282 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:33,896 No. No, no, no. 283 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,982 But there's something I need to talk to you about, but now is not the time. 284 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,193 [DOORBELL RINGS] 285 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,403 -Now is the time. -Just let me get the door. 286 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,887 No, Dad, that's what I have to talk to you about. 287 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:47,703 See, that's gonna be Roz and her mother. 288 00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:49,371 -What? -Well, 289 00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:51,832 Joanna had such a good time with you the other night, 290 00:13:51,916 --> 00:13:54,085 and you did say that you would see her again. 291 00:13:54,169 --> 00:13:56,337 Rather than send her home with her feelings hurt, 292 00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:58,923 -I told her you wanted her here. -What, like a date? 293 00:13:59,007 --> 00:14:02,107 That's the beauty of it. It's like a date, but it's not a date. 294 00:14:02,469 --> 00:14:05,119 You just, you know, make small talk. You pass the dip. 295 00:14:05,222 --> 00:14:06,922 No, Frasier, you don't understand. 296 00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:09,976 Look, Dad, I know that you found her a little less than scintillating, 297 00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,260 but please, it'll be over before you know it. 298 00:14:13,022 --> 00:14:14,189 -FRASIER: Oh. -Hey, Frasier. 299 00:14:14,273 --> 00:14:15,373 -Hi, Bonnie. -Martin. 300 00:14:15,524 --> 00:14:19,362 Hey, Bonnie, glad you could make it. Let me hold that, yes. 301 00:14:19,529 --> 00:14:21,697 See, this is what I was trying to tell you, Frasier. 302 00:14:21,781 --> 00:14:23,867 -I invited Bonnie. -Oh, how nice. 303 00:14:24,326 --> 00:14:25,576 So, what do you got here? 304 00:14:25,702 --> 00:14:28,246 Oh, it's my special deviled ham in the shape of a football. 305 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,373 Oh. 306 00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:31,500 But I still need to put on some macaroni laces. 307 00:14:31,584 --> 00:14:33,544 Oh, okay. Well, the kitchen's right down there. 308 00:14:33,628 --> 00:14:35,963 Just holler if you need anything. 309 00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:39,925 What did you invite her for? 310 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,178 I like her, I thought I might want to ask her out 311 00:14:42,262 --> 00:14:45,056 and if she came over, that'd be a step in the right direction. 312 00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:47,058 You know, I mean, like a date, but not a date. 313 00:14:47,142 --> 00:14:48,644 [DOORBELL RINGS] 314 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,104 That's gonna be Roz and her mother. 315 00:14:51,188 --> 00:14:53,022 Should I put some coffee on while I'm here? 316 00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:55,235 You better. We're gonna need it. 317 00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:58,988 Come on, would it kill you to be civil for the length of one Super Bowl? 318 00:14:59,197 --> 00:15:01,199 What is that, an hour out of your life? 319 00:15:01,366 --> 00:15:03,910 -Hi. -Hi. Oh, sorry, come on in. 320 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:07,873 -Thank you so much for inviting us. -It wouldn't be any fun without you. 321 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,292 Could you show my mom where Alice can finish her nap? 322 00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:11,793 I'm sure Dad would love to. Dad? 323 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,421 My pleasure, yeah. Just come this way, Joanna. 324 00:15:14,588 --> 00:15:15,881 So you're a big football fan? 325 00:15:15,965 --> 00:15:17,924 No, actually, I've never even seen a game. 326 00:15:18,008 --> 00:15:21,429 I was hoping you would explain as we go along. 327 00:15:23,431 --> 00:15:25,100 Okay, who's hungry? 328 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,394 Oh, hi, I'm Bonnie. 329 00:15:27,602 --> 00:15:31,022 Hi. From McGinty's. Oh, I didn't know you were coming. 330 00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:35,236 Yeah, Martin invited me. He was real cute about it. 331 00:15:35,444 --> 00:15:38,544 He checked with all the waitresses to find out if I was single. 332 00:15:38,823 --> 00:15:40,283 Oh. 333 00:15:40,449 --> 00:15:42,826 Yes, well, you know how Dad is. He's always trying to… 334 00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:44,745 Hey, hey, the Coyote. 335 00:15:45,789 --> 00:15:47,749 …find a new girl for Niles. 336 00:15:47,916 --> 00:15:50,376 Niles, you remember Bonnie. She waited on us at McGinty's. 337 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:53,463 Oh, yes, of course. I'll have a vodka martini, very dry. 338 00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:55,132 FRASIER: Ha, ha, ha. 339 00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:57,509 Don't be silly, Niles. Bonnie is here as our guest. 340 00:15:57,593 --> 00:15:59,943 Yeah, your dad thought you two might hit it off. 341 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,932 -Oh. -Oh. 342 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,353 The Super Bowl and a date. Hot diggity. 343 00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:12,067 Well, come here. You're just in time for my specialty. 344 00:16:12,276 --> 00:16:14,236 Mm. Mmm. 345 00:16:14,612 --> 00:16:18,324 Isn't that interesting? Something formerly ham. 346 00:16:20,909 --> 00:16:23,828 -Well, I'm off to the cinema. -You're not staying for the game? 347 00:16:23,912 --> 00:16:25,957 Sorry, but American football's not for me. 348 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:28,543 And they're showing Wuthering Heights downtown. 349 00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:31,010 I think it's the most romantic movie ever made. 350 00:16:31,129 --> 00:16:33,673 -You're going alone? -DAPHNE: Yes, unfortunately. 351 00:16:33,882 --> 00:16:35,299 It's more fun to go with someone. 352 00:16:35,383 --> 00:16:37,469 Except, of course, it always ends the same way. 353 00:16:37,553 --> 00:16:39,263 Me weeping all over me date's shoulder, 354 00:16:39,347 --> 00:16:41,265 while he does what he can to comfort me. 355 00:16:41,349 --> 00:16:44,499 Well, you should've seen me cry putting onions in this ham loaf. 356 00:16:44,602 --> 00:16:48,147 I must have gone through a whole roll of toilet paper. 357 00:16:50,317 --> 00:16:53,487 Well, enjoy your game. 358 00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:56,657 Frasier, may I see you in the kitchen? 359 00:16:58,283 --> 00:17:00,827 That's amazing. You do all that you do 360 00:17:00,994 --> 00:17:05,875 and still have time to be a docent at the cheese museum on the weekends. 361 00:17:06,042 --> 00:17:07,793 Frasier, can I see you in the kitchen? 362 00:17:07,877 --> 00:17:10,880 Just a second, Dad. I gotta take drink orders in here. 363 00:17:14,175 --> 00:17:17,680 Thanks for setting me up with that SPAM-happy tootsie. 364 00:17:18,597 --> 00:17:19,806 What are you talking about? 365 00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:22,440 Bonnie. Frasier told me you invited her here for me. 366 00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:25,061 I invited her here for me. He said I invited her for you 367 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,397 because he didn't wanna hurt Miss Boring's feelings. 368 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:31,319 Now, now, no private conversations. Your dates are waiting. 369 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,863 -They're not our dates. -We hate them. 370 00:17:35,657 --> 00:17:38,284 Now, listen, I realize that this is a very difficult situation, 371 00:17:38,368 --> 00:17:41,872 but if we all cooperate, we can send everybody home happy. 372 00:17:42,081 --> 00:17:43,708 And, Dad, if you would like, 373 00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:47,253 you can discreetly take Bonnie aside and tell her what's going on. 374 00:17:47,837 --> 00:17:50,589 -Bonnie, can I tell you something? -I said discreetly. 375 00:17:52,091 --> 00:17:54,009 I think the game is about to start. 376 00:17:54,176 --> 00:17:56,846 Oh, that reminds me. I wanna get Alice's bottle warming. 377 00:17:56,930 --> 00:18:00,308 -Oh, you have a baby? -Oh, the most adorable little girl. 378 00:18:00,475 --> 00:18:02,769 Yeah, she's a real beaut. You ought to see her, Bonnie. 379 00:18:02,853 --> 00:18:05,938 -You can come when I feed her. -No, you go ahead and get that ready. 380 00:18:06,022 --> 00:18:07,816 I'll show Bonnie. It's right through there. 381 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:10,500 Now, Dad, don't you get fresh with Niles' girl there. 382 00:18:10,653 --> 00:18:12,822 Oh, I won't if he won't. 383 00:18:14,907 --> 00:18:18,035 Your father is really smitten with that baby, isn't he? 384 00:18:18,244 --> 00:18:20,538 I think he's just got a weak spot for the Doyle women. 385 00:18:20,622 --> 00:18:21,957 -Oh, now. -FRASIER: Yes. 386 00:18:22,124 --> 00:18:24,501 Well, he may appear to have a crusty exterior, 387 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:27,755 but deep down inside, Dad's just an old softy. 388 00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:30,131 MARTIN [OVER BABY MONITOR]: Well, there's the kid. 389 00:18:30,215 --> 00:18:33,178 Kind of a gooney-looking thing, isn't she? 390 00:18:33,386 --> 00:18:34,721 Is that Dad? 391 00:18:34,929 --> 00:18:36,889 MARTIN: Look, Bonnie, I gotta tell you something. 392 00:18:36,973 --> 00:18:39,773 I didn't ask you here for Niles. I asked you here for me. 393 00:18:39,976 --> 00:18:43,938 -It's the baby monitor. We should… -JOANNA: Shh! I wanna hear this. 394 00:18:44,105 --> 00:18:45,773 BONNIE: I thought you were with Joanna. 395 00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:48,068 MARTIN: No, no, Frasier and Roz set us up last week. 396 00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:50,153 I told Frasier I thought she was a big snooze, 397 00:18:50,237 --> 00:18:52,698 especially compared to the fun you and I have at the bar, 398 00:18:52,782 --> 00:18:54,116 but he stuck me with her again. 399 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,035 You know, I think they know it's on. 400 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,245 -They're just having some fun with us. -Yeah. 401 00:18:58,329 --> 00:19:01,082 -Yeah, I better go tell him… -Frasier, Frasier, just stay put. 402 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,584 BONNIE: Then Niles isn't my date? Oh, there's a relief. 403 00:19:03,668 --> 00:19:07,506 -I mean, no offense, Marty, but… -Hey, you don't have to tell me. 404 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:12,762 Okay. If anybody wants me, I'll be at the movies. 405 00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:16,724 BONNIE: So you really like me? You're not just pulling my leg? 406 00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:19,894 -MARTIN: You want proof? -I think we can turn this off now. 407 00:19:20,061 --> 00:19:25,234 Joanna, I am so sorry. 408 00:19:25,859 --> 00:19:28,945 -I know it sounded bad, but… -JOANNA: No, no, no, not at all. 409 00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:32,429 I'm sure your father meant "big snooze" in the most flattering sense. 410 00:19:34,159 --> 00:19:37,162 -Roz, maybe we should leave. -What were you thinking? 411 00:19:37,329 --> 00:19:40,166 Oh, Roz, I certainly wasn't thinking that he had a date planned. 412 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:43,711 I'm just gonna get Alice. Mom, I'm so sorry. 413 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:45,797 Believe me, 20 years in politics, 414 00:19:45,964 --> 00:19:49,300 I've been called worse things than boring. 415 00:19:50,386 --> 00:19:54,390 Well, I hope you'll understand if I just slip out 416 00:19:54,557 --> 00:19:57,810 -without saying goodbye to Martin. -Of course, Joanna. 417 00:19:57,977 --> 00:20:01,063 The last thing we need today is another awkward situation. 418 00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:04,860 MARTIN: Whoa! Roz, knock, will you?! 419 00:20:09,656 --> 00:20:13,493 -I left my diaper bag. -Right. Here you go. 420 00:20:13,702 --> 00:20:16,706 -Can you come in for a bit? -I really shouldn't. 421 00:20:16,873 --> 00:20:20,668 Roz, I'm so sorry. 422 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,838 It's all right. 423 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:26,966 I mean, I'm not gonna say that my mother wasn't hurt. 424 00:20:27,133 --> 00:20:30,637 But she did start to smile a little bit about it on the way to the airport. 425 00:20:30,721 --> 00:20:32,389 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 426 00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:36,184 You know, I've been, well, sitting here, 427 00:20:36,351 --> 00:20:40,355 trying to figure out why I was so eager to play matchmaker for Dad. 428 00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:41,733 Oh, you're not alone. 429 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:45,069 I mean, I was excited once I thought it was going well. 430 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:49,028 Well, I suspect I wasn't doing it so much for him as it was doing it for me. 431 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,452 You know, I see him here all the time, all alone. 432 00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:57,041 I wonder if maybe that's not gonna be me someday. 433 00:20:57,249 --> 00:21:00,586 Oh, my God, I think the same thing sometimes 434 00:21:00,753 --> 00:21:03,213 when I see these older ladies in my building. 435 00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:06,592 They all wanna babysit Alice, just for the company. 436 00:21:06,759 --> 00:21:10,305 I mean, she's a cute baby, but she ain't no Dorothy Parker. 437 00:21:11,473 --> 00:21:15,060 Oh, well, you know, we're both gonna be fine. 438 00:21:15,268 --> 00:21:17,604 -Yeah. -I was just thinking, though, 439 00:21:17,812 --> 00:21:21,692 if we want to play it safe, we could make one of those pacts. 440 00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:25,863 Oh, you mean like, in 40 years, if neither one of us finds anyone… 441 00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:28,366 Yeah, exactly. We'll marry each other. 442 00:21:28,574 --> 00:21:30,952 I was gonna say kill each other. 443 00:21:34,039 --> 00:21:37,417 Well, six of one. Bye.