1
00:00:10,352 --> 00:00:12,061
FRASIER: Well, I'd better be heading out.
2
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:15,106
Niles and I are meeting for dinner.
And then we have tickets
3
00:00:15,273 --> 00:00:17,732
-to the theatrical event of the season.
-Really?
4
00:00:17,816 --> 00:00:20,067
Sir Trevor Ainsley in
Tears of the Mariner.
5
00:00:20,568 --> 00:00:22,444
It promises to be a very exciting evening.
6
00:00:22,528 --> 00:00:27,115
You see, Seattle is Sir Trevor's
last stop on his farewell tour.
7
00:00:27,282 --> 00:00:29,742
After this, he's retiring
from the stage forever.
8
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:32,286
Tears of the Mariner.
I read a review of that.
9
00:00:32,453 --> 00:00:35,538
I thought it was one of those baseball
stories like Pride of the Yankees.
10
00:00:35,622 --> 00:00:39,124
But it's just about some crabby
old sailor stuck in this little town…
11
00:00:39,208 --> 00:00:42,418
No, no, Dad, please. I have carefully
avoided all the reviews of this play.
12
00:00:42,502 --> 00:00:44,712
I don't wanna hear
about it before I see it.
13
00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:47,756
Well, I don't wanna hear
about it after you see it.
14
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,049
-Oh, hello, Daphne.
-MARTIN: Hey, Daph.
15
00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:54,136
That's it? "Hello, Daphne"?
Haven't you seen the paper?
16
00:00:54,303 --> 00:00:56,721
No, I glanced at it. Why?
Did I miss something?
17
00:00:56,805 --> 00:00:57,764
Look.
18
00:00:57,931 --> 00:01:00,766
-Oh, my gosh. Is that you?
-Yes.
19
00:01:00,933 --> 00:01:03,810
Good heavens.
Well, it's kind of hard to tell.
20
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,728
You've got your back turned to the camera
21
00:01:05,812 --> 00:01:07,438
and your skirt's blown up around your…
22
00:01:07,522 --> 00:01:10,649
Oh, well, it must have
been rather blustery out.
23
00:01:10,816 --> 00:01:12,899
I was in the park yesterday.
This photographer
24
00:01:12,983 --> 00:01:15,277
snapped my picture for the
"It's Your Seattle" column.
25
00:01:15,361 --> 00:01:17,987
The one where they show some
average person out and about,
26
00:01:18,071 --> 00:01:19,771
then use their name on the column.
27
00:01:19,864 --> 00:01:21,573
If they took a picture of Mr. Crane,
28
00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:24,117
the caption would read,
"Martin Crane's Seattle."
29
00:01:24,326 --> 00:01:26,744
If they took one of you, it
would say, "Frasier Crane's…"
30
00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:28,120
Yes, we get it.
31
00:01:28,913 --> 00:01:31,623
Don't crinkle it.
I want to send it home to my family.
32
00:01:31,832 --> 00:01:34,541
-You sure about that?
-Oh, don't be such an old fogy.
33
00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:36,918
So I'm bending down and
me knickers are showing a bit,
34
00:01:37,002 --> 00:01:40,463
but my family will still be as proud
as peacocks when they see that.
35
00:01:40,547 --> 00:01:42,841
"Daphne Moon's Seattle."
36
00:01:45,342 --> 00:01:47,219
She certainly does.
37
00:01:51,597 --> 00:01:54,266
FRASIER: Niles, will you stop it?
The dinner was fine.
38
00:01:54,432 --> 00:01:57,977
It was not fine.
I made those reservations weeks ago.
39
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,770
They seated us so close to the kitchen
40
00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:02,230
I'm surprised they didn't
make us wear hairnets.
41
00:02:02,397 --> 00:02:04,816
-I'm sure it was just a mix-up.
-Not a mix-up.
42
00:02:05,023 --> 00:02:06,816
It's part of an alarming
trend I've noticed
43
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:09,443
-since Maris and I parted company.
-Oh, Niles.
44
00:02:09,652 --> 00:02:12,613
Last week, Roberta Phipps
snubbed me at the opera.
45
00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,697
I wasn't even invited
to that gala fundraiser
46
00:02:14,781 --> 00:02:16,231
for Saint Andrew's Orphanage.
47
00:02:16,324 --> 00:02:18,659
You can still send money to the children.
48
00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:20,828
As usual, you've missed the point.
49
00:02:22,537 --> 00:02:23,830
I'm being shut out.
50
00:02:23,997 --> 00:02:27,708
It's as if someone snuck into my
world and changed all the locks.
51
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:29,793
Oh, Niles.
52
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:34,672
Well, at least you don't have
to worry about that tonight.
53
00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:37,507
-After you.
-NILES: Thank you. Evening.
54
00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:39,509
Tickets, please.
55
00:02:39,676 --> 00:02:42,511
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
These aren't for this performance.
56
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:43,762
-What?
-What?
57
00:02:43,929 --> 00:02:46,764
But they say for the 16th.
There's the 16th right there.
58
00:02:46,848 --> 00:02:49,558
-That's today.
-Yes, sir. They were for the matinee.
59
00:02:49,766 --> 00:02:52,144
No, this had to be some mistake.
Let me just…
60
00:02:52,311 --> 00:02:55,479
-Oh, dear God.
-I'm so sorry, Niles.
61
00:02:55,646 --> 00:02:58,899
Well, surely you must hold some
tickets aside for emergencies.
62
00:02:59,065 --> 00:03:02,151
-We'll take anything, anything at all.
-Yes, even mezzanine.
63
00:03:02,359 --> 00:03:05,309
If you like, you can try your
luck in the cancellation line.
64
00:03:09,032 --> 00:03:10,574
How could this happen?
65
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,118
I have to see this play.
66
00:03:13,285 --> 00:03:15,077
I have to have people
see me see this play.
67
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:18,011
-If I'm not seen seeing this play, see…
-Niles, Niles.
68
00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:19,997
I will make a simple phone call,
69
00:03:20,081 --> 00:03:22,281
and we'll get house
seats for tomorrow night.
70
00:03:22,417 --> 00:03:24,501
-All right?
-I suppose so.
71
00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,128
Come on, let's go.
72
00:03:26,295 --> 00:03:28,254
The last thing I need is
to have someone see us
73
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:29,922
loitering here like gutter riffraff,
74
00:03:30,006 --> 00:03:33,467
pathetically scrounging
for last-minute tickets.
75
00:03:38,304 --> 00:03:39,347
Good luck.
76
00:03:43,892 --> 00:03:45,517
[DOORBELL RINGS]
77
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:46,769
[DOOR OPENS]
78
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:48,353
-FRASIER: Oh, Niles.
-NILES: Hello.
79
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,855
I know I'm early.
I was hoping we might get a bite to eat.
80
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:51,981
Actually, Niles…
81
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:55,066
It'll be on me as a thank-you for
getting those replacement tickets.
82
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:57,151
-About the tickets…
-I know I owe you money.
83
00:03:57,235 --> 00:03:59,069
And my gratitude, and if I keep talking,
84
00:03:59,153 --> 00:04:01,947
you won't be able to tell me
you weren't able to get the tickets.
85
00:04:02,031 --> 00:04:04,949
-I haven't been able to get them yet.
-I knew you wouldn't get them.
86
00:04:05,033 --> 00:04:06,993
-Niles, please.
-It's too late. It's 6:00.
87
00:04:07,077 --> 00:04:09,578
Please just calm down.
I've made a few well-placed calls.
88
00:04:09,662 --> 00:04:12,371
I haven't heard back from a
couple of people. Someone will call.
89
00:04:12,455 --> 00:04:14,207
Well, someone better call,
90
00:04:14,374 --> 00:04:16,624
because everyone who's
anyone is seeing this play.
91
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:20,586
You know who you are if you're not anyone?
You're no one.
92
00:04:20,795 --> 00:04:24,839
And I've been someone much
too long to start being no one now.
93
00:04:25,006 --> 00:04:27,842
Oh, hey, I thought no one was here.
94
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,385
FRASIER: Niles, please, just relax.
95
00:04:30,552 --> 00:04:32,721
One way or another, we
are going to get tickets.
96
00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:35,598
MARTIN: You two still
going on about those tickets?
97
00:04:35,807 --> 00:04:37,725
If this play's any good,
in a couple of years,
98
00:04:37,809 --> 00:04:42,436
they'll do it at the dinner theater
and you can get a nice prime rib with it.
99
00:04:49,192 --> 00:04:53,112
Dad, you don't understand.
You see, this isn't just about the play.
100
00:04:53,278 --> 00:04:55,363
This is literally our last opportunity
101
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:58,950
to see one of the
finest actors of our time.
102
00:04:59,158 --> 00:05:01,242
You wanna go because
your snobby friends are going
103
00:05:01,326 --> 00:05:02,827
and you don't wanna feel left out.
104
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:07,748
What we want is to sit in a theater
and share a transcendent experience.
105
00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:11,960
-That nobody else could get tickets to.
-That's the transcendent part.
106
00:05:12,669 --> 00:05:14,086
[PHONE RINGS]
107
00:05:14,253 --> 00:05:16,422
-Ooh, ooh, it's them.
-Ooh, ooh.
108
00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:18,506
Hello?
109
00:05:18,715 --> 00:05:20,174
Yes, I'll hold. It's Clea Fenwick.
110
00:05:20,258 --> 00:05:22,091
-Clea Fenwick?
-FRASIER: Yes, you remember her.
111
00:05:22,175 --> 00:05:24,844
She's on the board of the theater.
You've seen her. Bad eye job.
112
00:05:24,928 --> 00:05:27,128
Dowager's hump you
could cross the Sahara on.
113
00:05:28,347 --> 00:05:30,724
Hello, Clea, you lovely thing.
114
00:05:31,349 --> 00:05:32,767
Uh-huh.
115
00:05:32,934 --> 00:05:35,936
Oh, well, you're a dear for trying.
Thanks.
116
00:05:36,145 --> 00:05:39,439
Don't despair, Niles.
I'm getting another call. Hello?
117
00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:41,733
Yes, Dora. Yes.
118
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:45,819
Uh-huh. Too bad. Well, thank you. Yeah…
119
00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:48,446
Oh, that is a wonderful idea. Yes, I will.
120
00:05:48,612 --> 00:05:51,240
-Thank you. Bye-bye.
-She has a lead for us?
121
00:05:51,449 --> 00:05:53,499
Yes. She said I should call Clea Fenwick.
122
00:05:56,952 --> 00:05:58,495
This is hopeless.
123
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:02,248
Niles, there is another way.
124
00:06:03,416 --> 00:06:05,292
-You don't mean…
-FRASIER: Yes.
125
00:06:05,876 --> 00:06:08,169
I know it's a calculated risk.
It's a little uncertain.
126
00:06:08,253 --> 00:06:11,630
-You can't be serious. It's unthinkable.
-Niles, what other choice do we have?
127
00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:14,507
But the indignity.
It reeks of desperation.
128
00:06:14,716 --> 00:06:16,676
Now, now, before you
do anything desperate,
129
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,720
at least go and stand
in the cancellation line.
130
00:06:20,512 --> 00:06:23,014
What did he think we were talking about?
131
00:06:28,185 --> 00:06:30,937
You know, this isn't half as
humiliating as I thought it would be.
132
00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:33,647
Oh, you're right.
I don't know why we were so afraid.
133
00:06:35,524 --> 00:06:37,650
Oh, no. There's Steven and Susan Kendall.
134
00:06:39,569 --> 00:06:42,529
Quick, turn around.
If they see us here, we'll be ruined.
135
00:06:42,696 --> 00:06:44,280
-They know everybody.
-Yes, I know.
136
00:06:44,364 --> 00:06:47,909
Their Sunday brunches are
a who's who of Seattle's elite.
137
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,912
I think it's safe. No one saw us.
138
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,538
-Hey, Frasier, Niles.
-Hi, Roz.
139
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:57,749
-What are you doing here?
-And how did you get tickets?
140
00:06:57,957 --> 00:07:00,167
A friend couldn't use hers
so she gave them to me.
141
00:07:00,251 --> 00:07:04,421
I asked my cute new dentist.
He's a big fan of Sir What's-his-face.
142
00:07:04,588 --> 00:07:06,714
You refer to the world's
greatest living actor as…
143
00:07:06,798 --> 00:07:09,049
Now, Frasier, Roz may not
be familiar with Sir Trevor,
144
00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:10,800
but I'm sure she'll enjoy the play.
145
00:07:10,884 --> 00:07:13,220
-I trust you got good seats.
-I think so.
146
00:07:14,096 --> 00:07:17,223
-Row C.
-NILES: Row C. Excellent.
147
00:07:17,431 --> 00:07:19,808
Look, a whole bunch of naked men.
148
00:07:21,142 --> 00:07:22,310
What are you doing?
149
00:07:22,477 --> 00:07:24,310
Give me those.
You don't even know his name.
150
00:07:24,394 --> 00:07:25,479
Are you crazy?
151
00:07:26,105 --> 00:07:27,648
Ow!
152
00:07:28,689 --> 00:07:30,399
-Ready to go, Roz?
-Yes.
153
00:07:30,608 --> 00:07:32,776
-Dr. Mandel?
-Oh, hi, Niles.
154
00:07:32,943 --> 00:07:34,110
You two know each other?
155
00:07:34,194 --> 00:07:37,196
Sure. How's the teeth bleaching going?
156
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,573
Fine, thanks.
157
00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:44,160
Let's go, Rob.
158
00:07:44,327 --> 00:07:48,038
It's a long way to row C
from the cancellation line.
159
00:07:48,497 --> 00:07:51,874
Hang in there, guys.
I wouldn't be surprised if you get lucky.
160
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:54,168
I'd be stupefied if you didn't.
161
00:07:58,630 --> 00:08:01,715
I knew you were bleaching them.
162
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:04,592
"No, really, I just changed toothpastes."
163
00:08:04,759 --> 00:08:08,387
Is that Niles Crane? And Frasier?
164
00:08:08,595 --> 00:08:12,557
-Susan, Steven, good to see you.
-We're seeing everybody tonight.
165
00:08:12,723 --> 00:08:13,891
It's simply…
166
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:17,185
Oh, dear. You're not waiting
for a cancellation, are you?
167
00:08:17,394 --> 00:08:21,605
A what? Oh, is that what this is?
168
00:08:21,814 --> 00:08:23,399
[FRASIER, NILES LAUGHING]
169
00:08:25,817 --> 00:08:27,360
Oh, look at us.
170
00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:30,111
Blocking these poor unfortunates
who couldn't get tickets.
171
00:08:30,195 --> 00:08:31,905
I got one pair left. Who's next?
172
00:08:32,364 --> 00:08:35,199
-WOMAN: Curtain going up.
-Curtain going up. Shall we?
173
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,493
-Next in line, please.
-Niles, are you coming?
174
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,036
I, uh…
175
00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:43,414
You'll have to forgive Niles.
176
00:08:43,581 --> 00:08:45,082
He's too ashamed to admit
177
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:48,084
that he's just waiting
for one last cigarette.
178
00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:49,668
It's all right. You go ahead.
179
00:08:49,752 --> 00:08:52,879
-I'll just see the Kendalls in.
-STEVEN: Thank God, another smoker.
180
00:08:52,963 --> 00:08:55,673
Darling, maybe I'll just stay
and have a cigarette with Niles.
181
00:08:55,757 --> 00:08:57,925
Do you want these tickets, sir?
182
00:08:58,092 --> 00:08:59,135
Me?
183
00:09:00,635 --> 00:09:02,095
Oh. Oh.
184
00:09:02,262 --> 00:09:05,931
No, no, no.
185
00:09:06,098 --> 00:09:08,601
Steven, please, I'd
really like to sit down.
186
00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:10,567
All right. Niles, we'll make a date.
187
00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:13,269
I'll meet you here at intermission
and we'll have a smoke.
188
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:16,356
Oh, right here is where I'll be.
189
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:20,151
-Enjoy.
-See you later.
190
00:09:22,652 --> 00:09:24,905
Well, this is just perfect.
191
00:09:25,113 --> 00:09:27,572
Not only are we missing the
play, but we have to hang around
192
00:09:27,656 --> 00:09:29,699
until intermission so
they won't catch on to us.
193
00:09:29,783 --> 00:09:31,117
What are you complaining about?
194
00:09:31,201 --> 00:09:34,120
I'm the one who has an
hour to learn how to smoke.
195
00:09:43,794 --> 00:09:45,212
Niles, they're coming out.
196
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:46,796
Come on, let's blend in.
197
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,049
-Niles, what are you doing?
-I'm practicing.
198
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,427
I haven't held a cigarette
since I played Duke Mantee
199
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,762
in our junior high production
of The Petrified Forest.
200
00:09:57,846 --> 00:10:01,096
Yes, I remember watching you
from the petrified audience. Come on.
201
00:10:01,641 --> 00:10:04,143
Oh, there they are. Let's go.
202
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:06,728
-Oh, well, you got out here quickly.
-Yeah.
203
00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:08,980
I guess you needed one
of these more than I did.
204
00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:12,566
Yes, well, when you enjoy
smoking as much as I do.
205
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,610
[COUGHING]
206
00:10:16,903 --> 00:10:20,781
Bye-bye, feel better. I'll call you.
207
00:10:20,989 --> 00:10:22,866
The Gormleys. Kendra isn't feeling well.
208
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:25,201
-Richard is taking her home.
-Oh, well.
209
00:10:25,409 --> 00:10:28,036
-There's Miggy and Lyle.
-Poor old dears.
210
00:10:28,203 --> 00:10:29,663
They could only get balcony.
211
00:10:29,871 --> 00:10:33,791
Still, we should say hello.
They are your parents. Excuse us.
212
00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,417
Yes.
213
00:10:39,629 --> 00:10:41,796
Thank God.
Those things are turning me green.
214
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,675
Never mind that, Niles.
The Gormleys aren't coming back.
215
00:10:44,841 --> 00:10:47,092
Let's sneak into their seats
and watch the second act.
216
00:10:47,176 --> 00:10:48,719
Come on, let's go.
217
00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:51,554
-Your ticket stubs, please.
-Oh, I beg your pardon?
218
00:10:51,763 --> 00:10:55,098
I'm sorry, we've had some people
try to sneak in after intermission.
219
00:10:55,182 --> 00:11:00,103
Well, you know, I think we
left our coats in our seats,
220
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,188
and the stubs are in the coats.
221
00:11:02,397 --> 00:11:04,314
-Oh, well, don't worry about it.
-Thank you.
222
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:06,065
We'll have someone bring your coats.
223
00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:07,316
Where are your seats?
224
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:13,071
I'll have to check the seating chart.
225
00:11:14,948 --> 00:11:16,949
-Aren't you going in?
-Oh, yes, yes.
226
00:11:17,116 --> 00:11:19,827
My brother just needed
to have one last cigarette.
227
00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:22,161
-Oh, you're worse than Steven.
-Yes, yes.
228
00:11:22,328 --> 00:11:25,080
Really, Niles, I do wish you'd quit.
I'm begging you.
229
00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:29,417
I just wish I didn't love
the damn things so much.
230
00:11:29,625 --> 00:11:33,045
Yes, well, if we don't see you
afterward, have a lovely evening.
231
00:11:33,253 --> 00:11:35,505
Actually, we're having a small supper
232
00:11:35,714 --> 00:11:37,814
at La Chanteuse afterwards for Sir Trevor.
233
00:11:37,923 --> 00:11:40,384
So if you're not busy, say, around 11:00?
234
00:11:40,551 --> 00:11:42,010
[COUGHING]
235
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,556
Good. We'll see you then.
236
00:11:49,891 --> 00:11:51,726
Frasier.
237
00:11:53,311 --> 00:11:55,853
Dinner with Sir Trevor.
That's better than seeing the play.
238
00:11:55,937 --> 00:11:57,939
Niles, are you insane?
239
00:11:58,106 --> 00:12:00,406
We know absolutely
nothing about the damn play.
240
00:12:00,524 --> 00:12:03,235
How can we possibly talk with this man?
241
00:12:03,402 --> 00:12:06,362
For God's sake, I just wish I'd
read that review in yesterday's paper.
242
00:12:06,446 --> 00:12:09,156
-Do you still have it?
-I might.
243
00:12:09,364 --> 00:12:11,324
Dad lets the papers pile
up for days sometimes.
244
00:12:11,408 --> 00:12:14,368
You know what? We've got just
enough time to get there and back.
245
00:12:14,452 --> 00:12:16,102
-Let's go.
-Where are you going?
246
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,706
You see? I told you it was the other way.
247
00:12:20,623 --> 00:12:22,124
Now.
248
00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:27,002
-MARTIN: What's going on?
-We're looking for yesterday's paper.
249
00:12:27,086 --> 00:12:29,236
-Well, it should be there.
-Oh, wait, Dad.
250
00:12:29,339 --> 00:12:31,547
That review you're reading
yesterday, Tears of the Mariner.
251
00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:33,216
-Do you remember it?
-Kind of.
252
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,759
All right, just concentrate.
What was the play about?
253
00:12:35,843 --> 00:12:37,845
Well, let me see.
254
00:12:38,012 --> 00:12:41,389
It started out with this old
guy who was gutting a fish.
255
00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:42,698
All right, okay, good.
256
00:12:42,807 --> 00:12:46,393
And then he gives this fish to
his son, but his son rejects it.
257
00:12:46,602 --> 00:12:47,769
Good, good. Then what?
258
00:12:47,977 --> 00:12:49,312
Uh…
259
00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:52,731
Oh, yeah. Well, then it turns
out that he has this fatal disease.
260
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,817
And the next thing you
know, he's in this big stadium,
261
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,819
and he's telling everybody
that even though he's dying,
262
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:02,238
that today, he considers
himself the luckiest man…
263
00:13:02,447 --> 00:13:04,147
Dad, that is Pride of the Yankees.
264
00:13:04,657 --> 00:13:07,534
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.
265
00:13:07,618 --> 00:13:10,244
But I'm pretty sure
that fish part was right.
266
00:13:10,411 --> 00:13:13,705
-This is ridiculous.
-"Fish part."
267
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:15,164
-Wait, wait. Yes.
-FRASIER: Yes.
268
00:13:15,248 --> 00:13:16,416
Here it is. There it is.
269
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,700
"Sir Trevor Ainsley's bravura
performance in Tears of the Mariner
270
00:13:19,877 --> 00:13:21,712
qualifies him as an…"
271
00:13:21,879 --> 00:13:24,047
Yes, blah, blah, blah.
272
00:13:24,214 --> 00:13:27,049
"Continued on page A-16." A-16.
273
00:13:27,257 --> 00:13:28,801
Just give me a second here.
274
00:13:32,553 --> 00:13:34,305
-Where is it?
-Daphne.
275
00:13:34,472 --> 00:13:36,389
Her picture must've
been on the other side.
276
00:13:36,473 --> 00:13:38,891
It may still be here.
She was gonna mail it to her mother.
277
00:13:38,975 --> 00:13:41,268
Daphne's picture was in the paper?
278
00:13:41,477 --> 00:13:44,562
Yes, well, someone snapped a
candid photo of her in the park.
279
00:13:44,771 --> 00:13:47,773
It's not her most flattering angle,
but I'm sure you would disagree.
280
00:13:47,857 --> 00:13:49,149
NILES: Well, open it.
281
00:13:49,358 --> 00:13:51,318
Carefully.
282
00:13:51,485 --> 00:13:53,986
Oh, what the hell. I'll buy her flowers.
283
00:13:55,113 --> 00:13:57,823
Hey, Dr. Crane, I thought you went…
284
00:13:58,740 --> 00:14:01,909
-Is that my letter?
-Daphne, let me explain.
285
00:14:02,118 --> 00:14:04,369
I should've known I'd never
get privacy in this house.
286
00:14:04,453 --> 00:14:05,954
You don't understand. I wanted to…
287
00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:09,290
You just wanted to find out if I
was gossiping about you to my mum.
288
00:14:09,374 --> 00:14:11,583
Well, fine, I was.
289
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:14,586
A 73-year-old woman in
Manchester is about to find out
290
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,754
that you dye the gray out of your temples.
291
00:14:16,838 --> 00:14:18,005
There, you happy?
292
00:14:18,214 --> 00:14:21,383
No, I'm not happy. I am mortified.
293
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:24,844
How did you know that?
294
00:14:26,637 --> 00:14:30,181
I keep my hair dye in the
false bottom of my cuff-link box.
295
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:35,144
Yeah, well, I'll let it go this time.
296
00:14:37,228 --> 00:14:40,147
We haven't got time for this.
We've gotta get down to that party.
297
00:14:40,231 --> 00:14:42,941
-I knew you were dying your hair.
-Shut up.
298
00:14:43,108 --> 00:14:45,068
"No, no, really, it's just
my new conditioner."
299
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,652
Shut up.
300
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,406
FRASIER: And whatever you
do, don't get specific about the play.
301
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:54,075
That's the mistake you made last year
302
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:55,992
when you lied about
seeing The Silent Echo.
303
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:59,036
All that yammering on about how
the play had third-act problems.
304
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,121
-It fooled no one.
-What makes you so sure?
305
00:15:01,205 --> 00:15:04,875
Well, for starters, The Silent
Echo doesn't have a third act.
306
00:15:06,042 --> 00:15:08,544
[GUESTS APPLAUDING]
307
00:15:10,588 --> 00:15:12,630
MAN: Bravo!
308
00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:16,383
Thank you.
309
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,136
God, I need a drink.
310
00:15:19,303 --> 00:15:22,305
-Double Scotch, no ice.
-Yes, sir.
311
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,265
Frasier, Niles. How nice.
312
00:15:25,432 --> 00:15:27,183
Sir Trevor, this is Dr. Frasier Crane.
313
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:29,935
-And his brother, Dr. Niles Crane.
-It's an honor.
314
00:15:30,102 --> 00:15:31,937
Two of our preeminent psychiatrists.
315
00:15:32,146 --> 00:15:33,397
-We're huge fans.
-Huge.
316
00:15:33,564 --> 00:15:36,273
They've set up a table for us
in the private room. Shall we?
317
00:15:36,357 --> 00:15:39,193
No, I'll just finish this
and be right along.
318
00:15:39,401 --> 00:15:41,612
Perhaps the two doctors
will keep me company.
319
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:47,741
I'd love to hear a psychological
interpretation of the play.
320
00:15:47,949 --> 00:15:50,160
SUSAN: All right, but don't be too long.
321
00:15:50,368 --> 00:15:55,164
So tell me, as students
of the human psyche,
322
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,957
did my character ring true?
323
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,584
Oh. Oh, yes, so true.
324
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:04,629
I can honestly say I
never saw a false moment.
325
00:16:06,464 --> 00:16:08,341
Well, what about the third act?
326
00:16:08,548 --> 00:16:11,468
The play clearly has a third-act problem.
327
00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:13,093
At least it has a third act,
328
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:16,555
unlike The Silent Echo which
really could have used one.
329
00:16:19,849 --> 00:16:21,058
SIR TREVOR: I quite agree.
330
00:16:21,142 --> 00:16:24,561
I did The Silent Echo in London last year.
331
00:16:24,728 --> 00:16:27,313
What did you think of the hat scene?
332
00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:33,568
The hat scene. Well…
333
00:16:33,735 --> 00:16:36,487
You know, the most important
thing about the hat scene,
334
00:16:36,654 --> 00:16:39,071
and I have to stress this…
Dear God, is that clock right?
335
00:16:39,155 --> 00:16:43,255
I have to call the sitter and tell her I'm
going to be late. The children worry so.
336
00:16:44,701 --> 00:16:48,246
-Well, back to the play.
-Right.
337
00:16:48,454 --> 00:16:50,414
Well, you, of course, were brilliant.
338
00:16:50,581 --> 00:16:54,501
Oh, please, Dr. Crane, I just want
339
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:57,962
your professional analysis
of what you saw tonight.
340
00:17:00,631 --> 00:17:02,966
Well, it…
341
00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:08,804
Of course, I could discuss subtext,
metaphor and imagery with you,
342
00:17:08,971 --> 00:17:10,888
but you see, I…
343
00:17:11,055 --> 00:17:13,391
I come to the theater
344
00:17:13,558 --> 00:17:15,559
to feel,
345
00:17:15,725 --> 00:17:17,686
to be moved.
346
00:17:17,852 --> 00:17:21,897
And that's exactly what
happened to me tonight.
347
00:17:22,106 --> 00:17:23,856
Really?
348
00:17:24,899 --> 00:17:26,901
When?
349
00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:35,575
When? Well, let me see.
350
00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:39,828
It was… There was that…
351
00:17:40,369 --> 00:17:41,719
The gutting-the-fish scene.
352
00:17:43,205 --> 00:17:47,083
You made the most heartbreaking gesture.
353
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:51,044
It was, you know,
354
00:17:51,795 --> 00:17:54,672
the one with your hands. You…
355
00:17:56,465 --> 00:17:57,800
Oh! Oh.
356
00:17:57,966 --> 00:18:01,177
You mean, when I offer the fish to my son,
357
00:18:01,344 --> 00:18:06,307
and he turns his back to me,
and I reach out to him like this:
358
00:18:06,473 --> 00:18:10,393
Yes, it's even more
moving the second time.
359
00:18:10,602 --> 00:18:11,935
Well…
360
00:18:12,102 --> 00:18:16,689
Who knows why a moment
like that touches us so? But…
361
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:21,067
You see, that is your gift, Sir Trevor.
362
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,236
You've given us
363
00:18:24,445 --> 00:18:26,572
hundreds of moments.
364
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:30,950
Moments so real, so compelling,
365
00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:34,953
that we are revealed in their truth.
366
00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:39,999
You don't know how refreshing this is
367
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:42,583
to meet someone who
doesn't just come to the theater
368
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,670
but who gives himself over to it.
369
00:18:45,879 --> 00:18:49,465
That crowd in there, they only
come because it's fashionable.
370
00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:51,424
They don't care about art.
371
00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:54,052
I can spot them at a glance.
372
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:57,929
The poseurs, the frauds.
373
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,890
Oh, here comes your brother.
374
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:05,477
The kids are fine.
375
00:19:09,188 --> 00:19:12,064
Excuse me, Sir Trevor, they're
waiting for you in the dining room.
376
00:19:12,148 --> 00:19:13,858
Very well.
377
00:19:14,025 --> 00:19:20,864
And thank you, Dr. Crane, for
your integrity and your passion.
378
00:19:22,365 --> 00:19:26,368
You are the reason that actors act.
379
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:38,710
I'm sorry I deserted you, but
obviously you carried the day.
380
00:19:38,919 --> 00:19:42,797
-Bravo.
-Oh, yes, bravo for us.
381
00:19:44,215 --> 00:19:46,050
What do you mean?
382
00:19:46,258 --> 00:19:48,158
Do you realize what we missed tonight?
383
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,887
A potentially life-changing
experience in the theater.
384
00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:53,972
And why?
385
00:19:54,181 --> 00:19:58,476
Because we were too embarrassed
to be seen in a cancellation line.
386
00:19:58,685 --> 00:20:01,436
Well, admittedly, it was a bit shallow.
387
00:20:01,603 --> 00:20:05,314
Yes, it was more than
shallow, it was shameful.
388
00:20:06,482 --> 00:20:08,234
You're right.
389
00:20:08,401 --> 00:20:09,501
What were we thinking,
390
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:12,195
kowtowing to a group of snobs like that?
391
00:20:12,404 --> 00:20:15,447
We weren't thinking.
Come on, let's get out of here.
392
00:20:15,656 --> 00:20:17,408
Frasier, Niles.
393
00:20:17,574 --> 00:20:20,159
Oh, Susan, I'm so
sorry, but we can't stay.
394
00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:22,911
Oh, no.
Sir Trevor will be so disappointed.
395
00:20:23,078 --> 00:20:24,871
He was quite taken with you.
396
00:20:25,872 --> 00:20:28,290
Well, send him our apologies.
397
00:20:28,457 --> 00:20:30,292
It really was wonderful to meet him.
398
00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:33,794
I know this is short notice,
but if you're free this weekend,
399
00:20:33,878 --> 00:20:35,879
we're having one of our Sunday brunches.
400
00:20:36,088 --> 00:20:39,841
Senator Logan is coming and
Maria de Falco and the Whitneys…
401
00:20:40,049 --> 00:20:42,968
-Just thank you, but I'm afraid we…
-SUSAN: Oh, please try.
402
00:20:43,052 --> 00:20:47,055
I'll hold it open for you.
Check your books and let me know.
403
00:20:51,267 --> 00:20:54,102
Well, how's that for irony?
404
00:20:54,269 --> 00:20:55,937
Sunday brunch at the Kendalls'.
405
00:20:56,104 --> 00:20:58,271
An hour ago, we would
have leapt at that invitation.
406
00:20:58,355 --> 00:21:00,315
Not anymore.
407
00:21:00,482 --> 00:21:04,235
We've got a damned
sight too much integrity.
408
00:21:07,821 --> 00:21:09,698
Although…
409
00:21:11,365 --> 00:21:13,075
Are we being selfish?
410
00:21:13,284 --> 00:21:16,119
-Possibly. How?
-Here's my thinking.
411
00:21:16,703 --> 00:21:18,621
Why do shallow people remain that way?
412
00:21:18,788 --> 00:21:21,081
The lack of positive influence.
413
00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:23,749
Perhaps our brand of integrity
is what that group needs.
414
00:21:23,833 --> 00:21:26,543
We can be like politicians who
change the system from within.
415
00:21:26,627 --> 00:21:29,671
Exactly. And who knows?
Maybe it'll rub off on Senator Logan.
416
00:21:29,838 --> 00:21:32,130
-He'll bring it back to Washington.
-We have to go.
417
00:21:32,214 --> 00:21:33,514
Yes. What are you wearing?
418
00:21:33,674 --> 00:21:38,094
-I'm gonna wear my new Prada suit.
-You're a fashion plate and a patriot.
419
00:21:47,685 --> 00:21:49,561
[INAUDIBLE]