1
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,042
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:13,554
MARTIN: Jeez, look at this stuff.
3
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,182
"Golden Sunset Retirement Village."
4
00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:18,728
"Investments for Seniors."
5
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:23,859
"Willowbrook Mortuary"?
What the hell kind of list am I on?
6
00:00:23,943 --> 00:00:25,152
The good news is,
7
00:00:25,236 --> 00:00:27,739
it's not the kind of list
they keep you on very long.
8
00:00:27,823 --> 00:00:28,657
[SIGHS]
9
00:00:28,741 --> 00:00:33,038
Ever since I turned 65, all I get is
geezer mail. It's very depressing.
10
00:00:34,039 --> 00:00:37,877
If you ask me, the only thing depressing
about being a geezer is looking like one.
11
00:00:37,961 --> 00:00:40,880
There's lots of things a
person can do to look younger.
12
00:00:40,964 --> 00:00:44,510
-How he dresses…
-Nah. I tried those Jordache jeans.
13
00:00:45,554 --> 00:00:48,304
I think you ought to leave
something to the imagination.
14
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:51,561
Well, there's always your hair.
15
00:00:51,645 --> 00:00:53,146
I know it's not exactly your style,
16
00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:55,900
but there's nothing wrong
with covering up that gray.
17
00:00:55,984 --> 00:00:58,987
I know just the right shade for you.
Cinnamon sable.
18
00:01:01,032 --> 00:01:04,662
"Cinnamon sable," huh? Sounds nice.
19
00:01:05,287 --> 00:01:07,373
Oh, wait, I couldn't use that.
20
00:01:07,457 --> 00:01:10,127
That's Duke's shade.
He'd scratch my eyes out.
21
00:01:10,211 --> 00:01:11,545
[DOORBELL RINGS]
22
00:01:12,797 --> 00:01:15,633
-Hello, Niles.
-Frasier, prepare to salivate.
23
00:01:15,717 --> 00:01:19,263
Niles, if that is a picture of
your Biedermeier loveseat,
24
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:20,847
you've already shown it to me.
25
00:01:21,225 --> 00:01:23,727
No, this is a photo of my latest purchase.
26
00:01:23,811 --> 00:01:27,356
An exquisite 18th-century
Turkish prayer rug.
27
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,526
Paid a fortune for it, but legend says
28
00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:32,110
whatever you pray for on
this rug will come to you.
29
00:01:32,447 --> 00:01:34,047
Certainly worked for the dealer.
30
00:01:37,578 --> 00:01:40,328
Oh, I'm sorry, Niles.
I'm just not in the best of moods.
31
00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:44,086
I had another disastrous blind date.
32
00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,338
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-I mean…
33
00:01:45,422 --> 00:01:48,300
Murderers on death row
can find women to marry them.
34
00:01:50,053 --> 00:01:52,389
I can't find one to sit
through coffee with me.
35
00:01:53,391 --> 00:01:54,850
It's easy for those men to attract women.
36
00:01:54,934 --> 00:01:57,312
They have all that time
to work out in the yard.
37
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:01,400
I'm serious. I'm getting desperate here.
38
00:02:01,484 --> 00:02:03,027
Don't obsess about this.
39
00:02:03,695 --> 00:02:05,030
My love life's not better than yours,
40
00:02:05,114 --> 00:02:07,241
but you don't see me
going off the deep end.
41
00:02:07,325 --> 00:02:08,535
Oh, really?
42
00:02:09,327 --> 00:02:11,914
Did it ever occur to you that
this recent antique-buying binge
43
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:15,919
is a way of sublimating your
frustrated sexual desires? Hm?
44
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:17,128
[SCOFFS]
45
00:02:17,212 --> 00:02:19,590
That's preposterous. These
purchases have nothing to do with sex.
46
00:02:19,674 --> 00:02:20,591
Oh, don't they?
47
00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:21,885
In addition to the loveseat,
48
00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:26,600
let's see, your most recent acquisitions
have been a French bed warmer,
49
00:02:27,517 --> 00:02:29,937
a pair of Toby jugs.
50
00:02:30,855 --> 00:02:33,609
The less said about that
Civil War ramrod, the better.
51
00:02:36,654 --> 00:02:39,909
Oh, you Freudians.
Sometimes a ramrod is just a…
52
00:02:40,993 --> 00:02:43,162
Oh, hell, even I can't make that one fly.
53
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,541
Take heart. We're in the same boat.
54
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:47,960
-Hi.
-The hard part is,
55
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:49,594
where do you go to meet people?
56
00:02:49,921 --> 00:02:51,089
Oh, it's not that hard.
57
00:02:51,173 --> 00:02:53,758
Yesterday, I met a very
nice man at the grocery.
58
00:02:53,842 --> 00:02:54,677
We got to talking,
59
00:02:54,761 --> 00:02:57,472
and he asked me if I was
free Saturday night. I said yes.
60
00:02:57,556 --> 00:02:59,933
He said, "Oh, wait, it's
me niece's bat mitzvah."
61
00:03:00,017 --> 00:03:01,602
I said, "I've never
been to a bat mitzvah."
62
00:03:01,686 --> 00:03:03,521
He said, "Would you like
to go to the bat mitzvah?"
63
00:03:03,605 --> 00:03:05,941
I said, "Oh, yes, I'd love
to go to the bat mitzvah…"
64
00:03:06,025 --> 00:03:07,192
-So he said…
-Daphne?
65
00:03:07,276 --> 00:03:08,278
Yes?
66
00:03:08,904 --> 00:03:10,404
Oh, nothing. I'm sorry. Go on.
67
00:03:10,948 --> 00:03:11,824
Hmm.
68
00:03:11,908 --> 00:03:14,452
I seem to have lost my train of thought.
69
00:03:15,788 --> 00:03:17,456
Oh, well. Anyone like some tea?
70
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:20,440
-FRASIER: Love some. Thank you.
-NILES: Thank you. Yes.
71
00:03:21,461 --> 00:03:24,411
Little trick I discovered a few weeks ago.
It's a lifesaver.
72
00:03:24,799 --> 00:03:25,758
Anyway…
73
00:03:26,552 --> 00:03:27,761
As I was saying,
74
00:03:28,303 --> 00:03:31,140
where does one go to meet available women?
75
00:03:31,683 --> 00:03:33,017
There are singles bars.
76
00:03:33,101 --> 00:03:33,977
-Yeah.
-Uh…
77
00:03:34,061 --> 00:03:35,270
We could join a health club.
78
00:03:35,354 --> 00:03:37,982
Oh. There's a splendid idea.
79
00:03:38,066 --> 00:03:41,445
Yes, I can just picture the two
of us, tank tops and spandex.
80
00:03:42,029 --> 00:03:45,575
With matching headbands, we
might as well sterilize ourselves.
81
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,411
Well, sounds like fun, Daph.
82
00:03:48,037 --> 00:03:50,623
If she says "bat mitzvah" one more time…
83
00:03:52,084 --> 00:03:53,460
-Hey, Niles.
-Hey, Dad.
84
00:03:53,544 --> 00:03:55,797
If you're smart, you come up with an idea.
85
00:03:55,881 --> 00:03:59,009
-What are you talking about?
-Oh, just our pathetic love lives.
86
00:03:59,093 --> 00:04:01,720
Well, why don't you do what
my buddies and I used to do
87
00:04:01,804 --> 00:04:04,182
when we were young and hard up for dates?
88
00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:05,308
Invade Korea?
89
00:04:05,392 --> 00:04:07,228
[LAUGHING]
90
00:04:11,108 --> 00:04:13,319
No, we'd throw a party with one rule.
91
00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:16,030
Only single, available
people were invited.
92
00:04:16,114 --> 00:04:19,535
Well, I don't know, Dad.
That doesn't really sound like us.
93
00:04:19,619 --> 00:04:22,455
It works. I used to throw one a month.
94
00:04:22,539 --> 00:04:24,589
People used to call them "Marty parties."
95
00:04:25,084 --> 00:04:28,672
People would call me and say, "Hey,
Marty, when's the next Marty party?"
96
00:04:28,756 --> 00:04:32,885
"Isn't it time for another Marty party?
Sure had a great time at the last one."
97
00:04:32,969 --> 00:04:34,972
-Uh, Dad.
-Yeah?
98
00:04:35,056 --> 00:04:37,642
Oh, I'm sorry. Nothing. Go on.
99
00:04:38,477 --> 00:04:41,277
Or somebody might say, "Can
I host the next Marty party?"
100
00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:44,198
-Doesn't always work.
-I see. Yeah.
101
00:04:44,734 --> 00:04:45,610
Um, thanks, Dad,
102
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:49,240
but I don't think we're hard up
enough yet to stage a singles party.
103
00:04:49,324 --> 00:04:53,328
Okay, suit yourself. Well, we'll
just get ready for the evening.
104
00:04:53,412 --> 00:04:57,917
I'll dish out the spaghetti, and
you guys set up the card table.
105
00:04:58,001 --> 00:04:59,671
I got us a new jigsaw puzzle.
106
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,298
Ten thousand pieces.
107
00:05:04,718 --> 00:05:06,512
It's called The Wheat Field.
108
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:15,662
-I'll send the invitations.
-I'll call the caterer.
109
00:05:20,613 --> 00:05:22,616
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
110
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,243
[DOORBELL RINGS]
111
00:05:28,916 --> 00:05:31,418
Hello. Welcome. Please come in.
112
00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:34,714
Niles, this is wonderful.
I had no idea we'd get such a turnout.
113
00:05:34,798 --> 00:05:38,348
I know. Everywhere I look, there's a
woman I want to get to know better.
114
00:05:38,887 --> 00:05:40,472
With some obvious exceptions.
115
00:05:42,016 --> 00:05:43,976
Roz, I didn't know you were coming.
116
00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:45,686
Hey, I know it's a long shot,
117
00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:48,649
but I figured I'd better get
out and do a little flirting
118
00:05:48,733 --> 00:05:50,193
before I forget how.
119
00:05:50,277 --> 00:05:51,569
Can I offer you something?
120
00:05:51,653 --> 00:05:55,491
[GIGGLING] Yeah. Oh, yeah. Boy! I'm…
121
00:05:58,162 --> 00:06:00,665
My God, Roz, you are rusty.
122
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:04,461
I know you've been striking out lately,
123
00:06:04,545 --> 00:06:07,924
but I invited someone guaranteed
to improve your batting average.
124
00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:09,884
Not necessary.
I've already met someone captivating.
125
00:06:09,968 --> 00:06:12,012
-Hi, Roz.
-Tina, you made it.
126
00:06:12,096 --> 00:06:15,308
Oh, well, you know me.
Have I ever said no to a good time?
127
00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:16,226
[TINA, ROZ LAUGH]
128
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,360
That's what I was trying to tell Frasier.
129
00:06:19,689 --> 00:06:22,401
-Tina Kramer, meet Dr. Frasier Crane.
-Hello.
130
00:06:22,485 --> 00:06:25,613
-Doctor, huh?
-Yes, that's right. Roz? Roz.
131
00:06:25,697 --> 00:06:27,991
Ooh, strong hands.
132
00:06:28,075 --> 00:06:32,329
I guess it's true what they say:
"Strong hands, strong mind."
133
00:06:32,413 --> 00:06:36,168
Yes, well, that's why you'll never see an
unopened pickle jar at a Mensa meeting.
134
00:06:36,252 --> 00:06:37,670
[LAUGHS]
135
00:06:37,754 --> 00:06:38,713
Huh?
136
00:06:39,464 --> 00:06:41,634
Ooh, excuse me, I'm sorry.
137
00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:43,845
Ooh. Excuse me.
138
00:06:43,929 --> 00:06:44,762
Oh.
139
00:06:44,846 --> 00:06:46,431
Oh. [CHUCKLING]
140
00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:48,142
Martin?
141
00:06:50,938 --> 00:06:53,064
-You're looking at my hair, right?
-Well, yeah.
142
00:06:53,148 --> 00:06:54,900
-Looks great.
-Well, thanks. Yeah.
143
00:06:54,984 --> 00:06:56,402
I did it myself.
144
00:06:56,486 --> 00:06:58,572
-Get out.
-Yeah, yeah, really.
145
00:06:59,406 --> 00:07:01,451
Well, Daphne suggested it.
146
00:07:01,535 --> 00:07:03,036
At first, I said, "No way,"
147
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,330
but then I thought, "A
lot of other guys do it.
148
00:07:05,414 --> 00:07:07,958
What better place to try it than
here where nobody knows me?"
149
00:07:08,042 --> 00:07:09,544
[CHUCKLES] So I…
150
00:07:09,628 --> 00:07:10,962
Boy, you look great too.
151
00:07:11,046 --> 00:07:13,257
Oh, thanks.
I was really happy with this dress.
152
00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:15,802
-You can't even tell I'm pregnant in it.
-I know.
153
00:07:15,886 --> 00:07:18,180
I just… I mean, where… [LAUGHS] Yeah.
154
00:07:18,264 --> 00:07:20,391
Well, yes.
You have a good time at the party.
155
00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:23,187
And the dress looks great.
Nobody would know.
156
00:07:23,271 --> 00:07:24,605
-Same with your hair.
-Thanks.
157
00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:26,900
-It looks completely natural.
-Thanks.
158
00:07:33,826 --> 00:07:35,535
-Hey, Niles.
-Oh. Hey, Dad.
159
00:07:35,619 --> 00:07:37,789
Hey, watch that "Dad" business, huh?
160
00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:42,170
Got a few young ladies here
thinking I just might be your brother.
161
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,673
Yeah, it's like looking in a mirror.
162
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,300
What's the matter? Aren't you having fun?
163
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,719
Oh, sort of. It's just…
164
00:07:48,803 --> 00:07:50,596
It's been so long since I've been single,
165
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,474
I'm finding it hard to
strike up conversations.
166
00:07:52,558 --> 00:07:54,684
Oh, come on, now. It's nothing.
167
00:07:54,768 --> 00:07:57,105
You just need a little confidence.
Watch this.
168
00:07:57,814 --> 00:07:59,566
-Hi there. Hi.
-Hi.
169
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:02,821
I'm Marty Crane.
And this is my son, Niles.
170
00:08:02,905 --> 00:08:05,199
Yep, my son.
171
00:08:06,284 --> 00:08:08,202
Hi, Vicky Cantrell.
172
00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:09,704
-You're the host.
-Yeah.
173
00:08:09,788 --> 00:08:12,208
I was admiring your beautiful Turkish rug.
174
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:13,960
Thank you.
175
00:08:14,044 --> 00:08:15,419
Is that 18th century?
176
00:08:15,503 --> 00:08:16,922
Yes, it is.
177
00:08:17,006 --> 00:08:19,299
-You have quite an eye.
-I work for an auction house.
178
00:08:19,383 --> 00:08:21,845
I would love to see
some of your other pieces.
179
00:08:21,929 --> 00:08:23,429
Well, it would be my pleasure.
180
00:08:23,513 --> 00:08:27,728
There's an absurd legend about
that rug, that whatever you pray for…
181
00:08:28,938 --> 00:08:31,138
Well, perhaps it's not
that absurd after all.
182
00:08:32,817 --> 00:08:35,445
Roz. Roz, that woman is all over me.
183
00:08:35,529 --> 00:08:38,116
Well, of course. Didn't you
get what I was trying to tell you?
184
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,659
Of course, I got it.
185
00:08:39,743 --> 00:08:42,788
I also got it when she tied a knot
in a cherry stem with her tongue.
186
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:44,540
That's a party trick.
187
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,627
The cherry was in my mouth at the time.
188
00:08:49,422 --> 00:08:51,507
I tried to tell you that I
met a woman tonight.
189
00:08:51,591 --> 00:08:53,970
-All right. I'll go talk to her.
-Thank you.
190
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:56,598
-Oh, Frasier.
-Niles.
191
00:08:56,682 --> 00:08:58,016
I'm so glad we had this party.
192
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,894
I just met the most fabulous woman.
193
00:08:59,978 --> 00:09:01,896
-Oh, that's fabulous.
-Two white wines.
194
00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:03,273
I also met someone who's terrific.
195
00:09:03,357 --> 00:09:05,442
Oh, wait. I can't wait.
I have to show you mine first.
196
00:09:05,526 --> 00:09:08,321
-Uh, uh, uh, she's by the buffet.
-So is mine.
197
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:11,742
Frasier, let me ask you something.
198
00:09:11,826 --> 00:09:13,118
At what point would you acknowledge
199
00:09:13,202 --> 00:09:15,002
that we're waving at the same woman?
200
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:19,501
-I saw her first.
-That's not fair.
201
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:21,463
You're the host. You see everyone first.
202
00:09:21,547 --> 00:09:23,256
There are plenty of other women here.
203
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:25,593
-Exactly. So go pick one.
-Oh.
204
00:09:25,677 --> 00:09:26,761
Let's just stop this.
205
00:09:26,845 --> 00:09:28,764
-All right.
-The civilized thing to do
206
00:09:28,848 --> 00:09:30,724
is for us to both stay away from her.
207
00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:34,271
We are psychiatrists, not
rutting pigs in a barnyard.
208
00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:36,855
-What do you say to that?
-Well…
209
00:09:38,276 --> 00:09:39,194
Sooey.
210
00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:45,243
-Very well. May the better man win.
-Fine.
211
00:09:45,327 --> 00:09:47,663
Frasier, your father wants you.
212
00:09:47,747 --> 00:09:49,197
-Oh! Advantage Niles.
-Wait.
213
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:53,671
-What?
-I want you to meet a fan of yours.
214
00:09:53,755 --> 00:09:56,048
-Oh.
-Kathy Locker, my son, Dr. Frasier Crane.
215
00:09:56,132 --> 00:09:58,718
I was telling your father
how much I love your show.
216
00:09:58,802 --> 00:10:01,348
-You're such a good listener.
-Uh-huh.
217
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,060
Just yesterday, you gave the best advice
218
00:10:05,144 --> 00:10:07,437
to that woman who called in about
a problem with her teenage son.
219
00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:09,399
What was it you said, exactly?
220
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:10,692
Oh, what do I ever say?
221
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,654
"You're in denial. Seek help."
Whatever. Blah, blah, blah.
222
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,909
He's different from what I expected.
223
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:21,831
Yeah. He's not what I expected
either, but you get used to it.
224
00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:24,376
So you were telling me
about being a detective.
225
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,546
Oh, yeah, yeah. I…
226
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:29,717
Say, do you, uh, feel
like getting a drink?
227
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:31,468
-Yeah, that would be nice.
-Okay.
228
00:10:31,552 --> 00:10:33,138
Okay. Let's go.
229
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:34,515
[GASPS]
230
00:10:35,432 --> 00:10:37,060
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
231
00:10:40,147 --> 00:10:43,860
You know, this is such a prime spot here.
232
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,779
Maybe one of us should stay here
and the other one get the drinks.
233
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:48,324
You're right.
234
00:10:48,908 --> 00:10:49,951
So I'll have a beer.
235
00:10:51,036 --> 00:10:51,870
Oh.
236
00:10:52,496 --> 00:10:53,330
Okay.
237
00:10:53,414 --> 00:10:54,957
[GIGGLES]
238
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:56,751
Oh, shoot. I think I lost an earring.
239
00:10:56,835 --> 00:10:57,668
Oh.
240
00:10:57,752 --> 00:10:59,964
-Oh, there it is, by my foot.
-Oh.
241
00:11:01,132 --> 00:11:02,232
[MARTIN CLEARS THROAT]
242
00:11:04,302 --> 00:11:05,304
There you go.
243
00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:10,811
Thanks. Uh, enjoy the party.
244
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,945
-These egg rolls are delicious.
-Oh, I, uh, made them myself.
245
00:11:19,029 --> 00:11:20,031
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
246
00:11:20,115 --> 00:11:21,783
A psychiatrist and a chef.
247
00:11:21,867 --> 00:11:23,077
-Impressive.
-Yes, well…
248
00:11:23,161 --> 00:11:24,953
They both came in handy
when I cured the ham.
249
00:11:25,037 --> 00:11:27,040
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
250
00:11:27,124 --> 00:11:28,041
Hello, Niles.
251
00:11:28,125 --> 00:11:31,003
-What do you want?
-There's an emergency in the kitchen.
252
00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:32,296
-That's very cagey.
-Well, I…
253
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:34,091
Why don't you just
run out and yell, "fire"?
254
00:11:34,175 --> 00:11:35,384
[MOUTHS] Fire!
255
00:11:35,468 --> 00:11:38,221
-Dear God. Excuse me for a moment.
-Of course.
256
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,605
-Is it a serious problem?
-Oh, no, no, he's always run like that.
257
00:11:47,357 --> 00:11:48,193
Oh.
258
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,072
Oh, you mean, the kitchen.
No, no, Niles can handle it.
259
00:11:52,156 --> 00:11:53,532
You two seem very close.
260
00:11:53,616 --> 00:11:55,744
Oh, yes. I'm his best friend.
261
00:11:56,328 --> 00:11:58,748
Well, his only friend, really.
262
00:11:59,499 --> 00:12:03,336
-That surprises me. He seems outgoing.
-Doesn't he, though?
263
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:06,007
The medication seems
to be working wonders.
264
00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:09,344
I just hope he sticks with it this time.
265
00:12:10,137 --> 00:12:12,097
-Well, shall we hit the buffet?
-Yeah.
266
00:12:12,181 --> 00:12:13,099
[ROZ LAUGHING]
267
00:12:13,683 --> 00:12:16,687
-What a great story.
-Oh, thanks.
268
00:12:16,771 --> 00:12:18,522
-This is fun.
-Yeah.
269
00:12:18,606 --> 00:12:19,982
I usually hate these kinds of parties.
270
00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:22,819
Oh, me too.
People are always so superficial.
271
00:12:22,903 --> 00:12:26,115
Yeah, it seems like everybody
nowadays is all about appearances.
272
00:12:26,199 --> 00:12:27,032
Mm-hmm.
273
00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:29,286
-Well, shall we get a drink?
-Yeah, sure.
274
00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:36,333
-I'm not very thirsty. Okay.
-Me either. See you.
275
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:42,344
Then I top it off with brandied
cherries and crème fraîche.
276
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,054
-Frasier.
-Not now, Niles.
277
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:46,433
I'm telling Vicky my
recipe for crêpe gâteau.
278
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,417
She's had enough of your crêpe by now.
279
00:12:51,064 --> 00:12:53,775
I'm terribly sorry to interrupt,
but Dad needs you, Frasier.
280
00:12:53,859 --> 00:12:56,028
-No, he doesn't.
-I think he might.
281
00:12:57,406 --> 00:12:59,366
All right, then. If you will excuse me.
282
00:13:00,994 --> 00:13:02,495
Do you live with your father?
283
00:13:02,579 --> 00:13:06,041
Oh, no. A grown man live with his father?
284
00:13:06,125 --> 00:13:07,877
-Frasier lives with Dad.
-Ah.
285
00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:09,837
-Champagne?
-Oh, yes, please.
286
00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:11,715
-What is it?
-You got to get me home.
287
00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:13,926
-Why?
-My hair dye's melting or something.
288
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,053
Look at this stain.
289
00:13:15,137 --> 00:13:17,890
-It must look terrible.
-No. Actually, it looks terrific.
290
00:13:17,974 --> 00:13:21,728
-You sure?
-Maybe the fire is making you perspire.
291
00:13:21,812 --> 00:13:22,646
Here.
292
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:23,855
Here.
293
00:13:23,939 --> 00:13:25,900
Uh, oh, no.
294
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:29,863
Well, actually, you look
quite young and attractive.
295
00:13:29,947 --> 00:13:32,659
-Oh.
-Yes. By the warmth of the fire glow,
296
00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:37,248
I'd say that you actually look like
you're back in your "Marty party" days.
297
00:13:37,332 --> 00:13:39,209
-You're not BS-ing me?
-No, no.
298
00:13:39,293 --> 00:13:41,128
-Okay, then, I'll stay.
-Great.
299
00:13:42,839 --> 00:13:46,260
-Vicky, hello. Where's Niles?
-Oh, he had to take a call.
300
00:13:46,344 --> 00:13:49,012
Oh, well, that's terrific.
301
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:49,973
Uh…
302
00:13:50,057 --> 00:13:52,934
Would you be interested in finding
someplace where we could talk,
303
00:13:53,018 --> 00:13:54,603
just the two of us, no interruptions?
304
00:13:54,687 --> 00:13:56,564
-Frasier.
-Hmm? Not now, Roz.
305
00:13:56,648 --> 00:13:58,108
-Come here.
-Can't you see I'm busy?
306
00:13:58,192 --> 00:14:00,069
No. My water just broke.
307
00:14:00,612 --> 00:14:03,281
Well… Maybe you sat in something.
308
00:14:04,659 --> 00:14:07,788
NILES: Oh, my God!
What's all over my Turkish prayer rug?
309
00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:11,834
-You've got to get me to a hospital.
-Yes, I'm sorry. Of course.
310
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:12,751
Oh, Vicky, Vicky.
311
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:16,381
Uh, if you'll excuse us, my
friend Roz just went into labor.
312
00:14:16,465 --> 00:14:18,174
-Oh, how exciting. Good luck.
-ROZ: Thanks.
313
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,927
Wait, wait, wait, wait, just one second.
314
00:14:20,011 --> 00:14:22,389
I know this may not be the
most appropriate moment,
315
00:14:22,473 --> 00:14:25,100
but I was wondering if you'd like
to have dinner with me sometime.
316
00:14:25,184 --> 00:14:27,729
That's sweet of you, but
I'm not really interested.
317
00:14:27,813 --> 00:14:30,608
Oh, well, thank you for your honesty.
318
00:14:30,692 --> 00:14:33,570
My God! What is wrong with me?
319
00:14:33,654 --> 00:14:35,739
Why can't I find a woman
who's interested in me?
320
00:14:35,823 --> 00:14:37,700
Those are two different questions,
321
00:14:37,784 --> 00:14:40,454
so we should sit down
and talk them both over.
322
00:14:40,538 --> 00:14:43,625
Oh, wait, I can't, because I'm in labor!
323
00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:53,511
-How did we do?
-Better.
324
00:14:53,595 --> 00:14:55,765
This time, it's hot, and it's got cream.
325
00:14:55,849 --> 00:14:57,599
Of course, it's still chicken soup.
326
00:14:59,186 --> 00:15:02,732
Well, who needs coffee
when we can keep alert
327
00:15:02,816 --> 00:15:05,903
by perusing these very
up-to-date magazines?
328
00:15:05,987 --> 00:15:06,862
Oh.
329
00:15:06,946 --> 00:15:07,988
Oh, look, Dad.
330
00:15:08,072 --> 00:15:10,472
-That cute Tricia Nixon's getting married.
-Ah.
331
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,704
Oh, excuse me.
332
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,665
Uh, may we get an update on Roz Doyle?
333
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:19,587
Sure. Uh, she is still in early labor.
Hang in there.
334
00:15:19,671 --> 00:15:20,755
Thank you.
335
00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:23,176
She's pretty.
I should make a play for her.
336
00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:26,512
Considering how young
and attractive I am tonight.
337
00:15:27,890 --> 00:15:30,226
I said I was sorry.
338
00:15:31,144 --> 00:15:33,270
Not half as sorry as when I
ran over that speed bump,
339
00:15:33,354 --> 00:15:35,854
and you left a head print
on the ceiling of my BMW.
340
00:15:36,901 --> 00:15:38,069
Ah. Hello.
341
00:15:38,153 --> 00:15:39,862
-Hi.
-Well, Niles.
342
00:15:39,946 --> 00:15:41,198
Didn't expect to see you here.
343
00:15:41,282 --> 00:15:43,575
Uh, well, the doorman
found Roz's purse in the lobby.
344
00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:44,911
I thought she might need it.
345
00:15:44,995 --> 00:15:46,913
I suppose you also came to gloat.
346
00:15:46,997 --> 00:15:48,750
You got Vicky. I didn't.
347
00:15:49,292 --> 00:15:52,671
Neither of us got Vicky.
She went home with the bartender.
348
00:15:53,589 --> 00:15:54,423
Really?
349
00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:59,263
Well, you know what I say? Her loss.
350
00:15:59,347 --> 00:16:01,974
Absolutely right. Her loss.
351
00:16:03,143 --> 00:16:05,437
Has saying that ever
made you feel any better?
352
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:08,149
Not a whit.
353
00:16:09,192 --> 00:16:11,027
It's been a hell of a night for us.
354
00:16:11,111 --> 00:16:14,615
It certainly was for me.
I lost Vicky. My rug is ruined.
355
00:16:14,699 --> 00:16:17,745
Someone left weird brown
stains on my wing chair.
356
00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:23,501
-Hello.
-Hi.
357
00:16:23,585 --> 00:16:25,796
I came down as soon as I heard.
358
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,008
What the hell happened to your hair?
359
00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:31,596
I colored it just like you told me to.
360
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,139
Yeah, but this isn't cinnamon sable.
361
00:16:33,223 --> 00:16:36,268
I couldn't use that.
It had a woman's picture on the box.
362
00:16:36,352 --> 00:16:39,522
I used some stuff called
Color in a Can instead.
363
00:16:39,606 --> 00:16:42,276
It said, "As seen on TV.
Just spray on and go."
364
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,403
How did I know it was a lousy product?
365
00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,282
If only there had been some clue.
366
00:16:48,701 --> 00:16:52,121
Don't you start on me.
You left me melting by that fire.
367
00:16:52,205 --> 00:16:55,835
Wait a minute. You're the one
who left stains on my wing chair.
368
00:16:56,628 --> 00:16:59,047
I was wondering when
you'd crack that, Miss Marple.
369
00:16:59,131 --> 00:17:00,841
Oh, don't start with me.
370
00:17:00,925 --> 00:17:02,384
[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]
371
00:17:02,468 --> 00:17:03,596
Stop it!
372
00:17:04,179 --> 00:17:06,056
What is wrong with the three of you?
373
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,990
Our friend is having a baby in there.
374
00:17:08,602 --> 00:17:10,646
I'm sorry. We've had dreadful evenings,
375
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,940
but you're absolutely right.
We should be thinking about Roz.
376
00:17:13,024 --> 00:17:14,318
Exactly.
377
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:19,448
Besides, nobody could have had
as horrendous an evening as I did.
378
00:17:19,532 --> 00:17:22,202
I got stood up at a bat mitzvah.
379
00:17:22,286 --> 00:17:24,120
I waited there an hour.
380
00:17:24,204 --> 00:17:26,833
He left a lame excuse on the machine,
381
00:17:26,917 --> 00:17:30,017
but if he thinks he's got another
chance with me, he's meshuga.
382
00:17:36,304 --> 00:17:38,848
Oh, boo-hoo, anyway.
383
00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,433
At least you had a date tonight.
384
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:43,604
-At least your apartment wasn't decimated.
-Oh, so what?
385
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,982
I went to a party tonight
with shoe polish on my hair.
386
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,110
Yes, and you managed
to get it on my chair!
387
00:17:48,194 --> 00:17:49,736
[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]
388
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:51,114
Shh!
389
00:17:51,198 --> 00:17:52,907
-[PANTING]
-Breathe. You're doing great.
390
00:17:52,991 --> 00:17:55,286
-Roz, it's all right.
-We're here for you.
391
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:56,787
MARTIN: Good luck.
392
00:17:56,871 --> 00:17:58,666
We love you. [CHUCKLES]
393
00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,836
[ARGUING CONTINUES]
394
00:18:05,383 --> 00:18:08,053
-She's very tired, so make it quick.
-Okay.
395
00:18:09,513 --> 00:18:12,308
Roz, congratulations.
396
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,935
Oh, look at her.
397
00:18:15,019 --> 00:18:17,063
NILES: Oh, she is beautiful.
398
00:18:17,147 --> 00:18:18,524
Mazel tov.
399
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:21,987
It's a long story.
400
00:18:22,655 --> 00:18:25,783
-So, what's her name?
-Alice.
401
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:29,580
Alice May Doyle. My daughter.
402
00:18:29,664 --> 00:18:32,666
My God, that's the
first time I ever said that.
403
00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:35,003
-Well, you look great.
-Mm-hmm.
404
00:18:35,087 --> 00:18:36,087
How do you feel?
405
00:18:36,171 --> 00:18:38,966
-Oh, fine. I'm just a little tired.
-FRASIER: Mm-hmm.
406
00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:40,677
-Maybe we should go.
-FRASIER: Right.
407
00:18:40,761 --> 00:18:42,220
I'll drop by and see you tomorrow.
408
00:18:42,304 --> 00:18:46,225
-Okay.
-I would love to hold her for a second.
409
00:18:46,309 --> 00:18:50,189
Maybe we should just wait
until you're not dripping toxins.
410
00:18:50,273 --> 00:18:51,108
Oh.
411
00:18:52,026 --> 00:18:53,401
-FRASIER: Aw.
-MARTIN: Okay.
412
00:18:53,485 --> 00:18:55,363
We'll see you, then. Okay.
413
00:18:55,447 --> 00:18:56,781
-Bye.
-Congratulations.
414
00:18:56,865 --> 00:18:58,200
I'll be along in a second.
415
00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:03,039
Roz, congratulations again.
416
00:19:03,123 --> 00:19:05,293
-[CHUCKLES]
-I'm so proud of you.
417
00:19:06,544 --> 00:19:08,337
Your little girl is just perfect.
418
00:19:09,006 --> 00:19:10,674
-She is, isn't she?
-Mm-hmm.
419
00:19:13,428 --> 00:19:15,262
My God, look at your face.
420
00:19:15,346 --> 00:19:18,058
Oh, yeah. I must look real lovely.
421
00:19:18,142 --> 00:19:21,354
Yes, that's exactly how you look. Lovely.
422
00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:27,237
I don't think I've ever seen a face
more purely happy than right now.
423
00:19:29,114 --> 00:19:34,330
Little Alice, how I wish
you could wake up right now
424
00:19:35,289 --> 00:19:37,416
and see how beautiful your mother looks.
425
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:38,919
[SNORES]
426
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,217
Then, again, you need your rest.
427
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,641
You did great, honey.
428
00:19:54,772 --> 00:19:55,774
Sleep well.
429
00:19:57,275 --> 00:19:58,693
Oh. Well, hello.
430
00:19:58,777 --> 00:19:59,987
Hi.
431
00:20:01,864 --> 00:20:04,464
This may be an odd time
to ask you this, but I was…
432
00:20:05,619 --> 00:20:07,997
I was convinced that we sort of
433
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,584
made some eye contact in the waiting room,
434
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:12,919
and, uh, I was wondering
if I could get your number.
435
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,966
-But what about your…
-Forget about her. She's asleep.
436
00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:19,637
What kind of monster are you?
437
00:20:24,811 --> 00:20:25,687
Her loss.
438
00:20:30,484 --> 00:20:33,112
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
439
00:20:33,196 --> 00:20:35,850
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
440
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:38,243
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
441
00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:39,705
Quite stylish.
442
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:42,833
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
443
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:45,127
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
444
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:47,255
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
445
00:20:47,339 --> 00:20:48,882
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
446
00:20:48,966 --> 00:20:52,470
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
447
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:55,641
♪ They're callin' again ♪
448
00:20:57,019 --> 00:20:59,854
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
449
00:20:59,938 --> 00:21:01,399
What is a boy to do?
450
00:21:03,944 --> 00:21:04,862
Good night!