1 00:00:02,114 --> 00:00:04,117 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:11,542 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 3 00:00:16,673 --> 00:00:20,176 I specifically requested my macaroni and cheese al dente. 4 00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:23,430 I know. This lunch is a culinary Hindenberg. 5 00:00:24,181 --> 00:00:26,892 Niles, have you considered that our food may be payback 6 00:00:26,976 --> 00:00:30,313 for your recent editorial, "Cafeteria of Shame"? 7 00:00:31,147 --> 00:00:33,274 Well, they can't intimidate me. 8 00:00:33,358 --> 00:00:35,359 They'll never silence my pen. 9 00:00:35,443 --> 00:00:37,946 I could write an exposé on their baked goods alone. 10 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:41,117 Yes, this is the hardest "roll" since Hamlet. 11 00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:43,911 Good one, Frasier. May I use it? 12 00:00:43,995 --> 00:00:44,955 But of course. 13 00:00:45,622 --> 00:00:47,707 These biscotti represent an all-time low. 14 00:00:47,791 --> 00:00:51,211 Chalky aftertaste, inelegant aroma, spongy. 15 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,464 And what is spongy biscotti 16 00:00:53,548 --> 00:00:56,634 but an unwelcome trespasser into Madeleine territory? 17 00:00:57,885 --> 00:00:59,845 Have you seen how stale these pistachios are? 18 00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:03,529 It's like swallowing gravel. It's a wonder I've escaped permanent injury. 19 00:01:03,892 --> 00:01:07,292 Yes, your ability to cheat death at every turn never ceases to amaze. 20 00:01:08,564 --> 00:01:10,149 Someone's in a mood today. 21 00:01:10,233 --> 00:01:11,150 I'm sorry, Niles. 22 00:01:11,234 --> 00:01:13,903 You know how sometimes you just find yourself getting restless? 23 00:01:13,987 --> 00:01:15,530 I have a feeling I'm about to. 24 00:01:16,072 --> 00:01:17,032 [PHONE RINGS] 25 00:01:19,785 --> 00:01:21,411 Hello? Yes. 26 00:01:21,495 --> 00:01:22,455 Really! 27 00:01:23,122 --> 00:01:25,626 Bravo! Excellente! Benissimo! 28 00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:30,297 -You'll never guess who that was. -The three tenors? 29 00:01:32,924 --> 00:01:34,843 No, that was my antique scout. 30 00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:37,555 The present I ordered for Maris' birthday has finally arrived. 31 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,266 I got her the most exquisite antique saddle. 32 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,061 Oh. How does it look on you? 33 00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:51,487 You won't laugh when you see it. 34 00:01:51,571 --> 00:01:54,240 It is bejeweled, but not overdone, much like my Maris. 35 00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:56,826 The craftsmanship is breathtaking. 36 00:01:56,910 --> 00:01:59,496 It's been so expertly restored, you can barely see the stitching. 37 00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:00,665 Again, like Maris. 38 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,168 -Someone is in a mood today. -Oh, I'll get it. 39 00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:07,297 -I'll get this. -Oh, thank you, Niles. 40 00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:10,758 You know, perhaps you better run along to the wine club on your own tonight. 41 00:02:10,842 --> 00:02:13,303 -What? -Well, it'll just be the same old faces 42 00:02:13,387 --> 00:02:15,389 rehashing the same boring topics. 43 00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:17,349 You're more upset than I realized. 44 00:02:17,433 --> 00:02:19,268 Let's do something to get your mind off it. 45 00:02:19,352 --> 00:02:20,853 Dinner? Chamber music? 46 00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:25,388 There's a wonderful lecture series on the history of modern lecture series. 47 00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:28,112 I'm sorry, I don't think so. 48 00:02:28,696 --> 00:02:31,240 I feel like being on my own tonight. You don't mind, do you? 49 00:02:31,324 --> 00:02:33,326 Of course not. I'll see you at Cucina for lunch tomorrow. 50 00:02:33,410 --> 00:02:35,710 Well, maybe we better play that by ear as well. 51 00:02:36,371 --> 00:02:38,248 -As you wish. -You're not upset, are you? 52 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:40,500 Frasier, I'd have to have a pretty fragile ego to be upset 53 00:02:40,584 --> 00:02:42,461 just because you want to take some time away from me. 54 00:02:42,545 --> 00:02:44,645 -Is this ready? -Separate checks, please. 55 00:02:49,928 --> 00:02:52,013 Hey, Marty, we're gettin' hungry out here! 56 00:02:52,097 --> 00:02:55,309 It's coming! All right, here we go: 57 00:02:55,393 --> 00:03:00,689 cold cuts, pizza rolls, deviled eggs, pork roll-ups. All right! 58 00:03:00,773 --> 00:03:04,069 Yes, the ideal buffet for a group of heavy-set men over sixty. 59 00:03:06,155 --> 00:03:08,205 I assume everyone's affairs are in order? 60 00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:13,537 Well, we're about ready to start our poker game. 61 00:03:13,621 --> 00:03:15,956 Don't worry, Mr. Crane, I'll be on my way in a minute. 62 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:16,875 Okay. 63 00:03:18,753 --> 00:03:21,753 -Well, we're about ready to start our… -I heard you, Dad. 64 00:03:22,131 --> 00:03:25,092 I'm just trying to figure out what I'm going to do with myself this evening. 65 00:03:25,176 --> 00:03:27,178 Lately my old routine doesn't seem to satisfy me anymore. 66 00:03:27,262 --> 00:03:28,680 I'm trying to think of something new. 67 00:03:28,764 --> 00:03:32,642 Oh, I know, maybe I could, uh, join you and the guys for some cards, huh? 68 00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:35,312 Oh, I don't know about that, Frasier. I just don't think you'd fit in. 69 00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:36,855 Well, why not? Roz is playing. 70 00:03:36,939 --> 00:03:40,275 Well, Roz is like one of the guys. She knows more dirty jokes than Duke. 71 00:03:40,359 --> 00:03:42,528 If that's the criteria, I could tell you a tale or two 72 00:03:42,612 --> 00:03:44,072 that'd make you blush like a schoolgirl. 73 00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:45,740 That's what I'm afraid of. 74 00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:48,327 Oh, let him play. It can't hurt anything. 75 00:03:49,286 --> 00:03:50,578 -All right. Come on. -Thanks, Dad. 76 00:03:50,662 --> 00:03:52,415 -Let me get that for you. -Oh, thanks. All right. 77 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,667 Hey, guys, uh, Frasier's gonna sit in with us tonight. 78 00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:57,586 -Oh, great, great! -Grab a chair there, Fras. 79 00:03:57,670 --> 00:03:59,923 -Really? You're gonna play with us? -Why not, Roz? 80 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,258 Don't look so surprised. 81 00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,718 Sometimes there's nothing I enjoy more 82 00:04:02,802 --> 00:04:04,428 than a good old-fashioned night with the guys. 83 00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:05,971 Okay, ante up, everybody. 84 00:04:06,055 --> 00:04:09,392 Seven-card stud, high-low, chips to win, eight for low, the wheel is no good. 85 00:04:09,476 --> 00:04:11,978 -Perfect. -No check-in rays, three bump limit. 86 00:04:12,062 --> 00:04:13,020 Sounds good. 87 00:04:13,104 --> 00:04:16,004 -You're lost, aren't you? -Like a Bedouin in a sandstorm. 88 00:04:17,235 --> 00:04:20,154 So, you guys get your all-weather tires on yet? 89 00:04:20,238 --> 00:04:23,323 I'm going to Richie's for body work. I figure I'll let him do it. 90 00:04:23,407 --> 00:04:25,201 -Go to Tim's. You get free Armor All. -DUKE: Yeah? 91 00:04:25,285 --> 00:04:27,078 Ever been to Hank's? Now there's a garage. 92 00:04:27,162 --> 00:04:28,955 King bets. Fifty cents. Yeah, I've been to Hank's. 93 00:04:29,039 --> 00:04:30,415 Right next to Mike's Hardware, right? 94 00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:33,753 I was in Mike's the other day. They got those new cordless drills. 95 00:04:33,837 --> 00:04:36,172 You still go to Mike's? You ought to try Tommy's. 96 00:04:36,256 --> 00:04:38,549 They're giving away free battery testers with every purchase. 97 00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:39,467 I'm out. 98 00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:42,804 Hey, thanks for the money. 99 00:04:42,888 --> 00:04:44,681 Well, that was a bust. 100 00:04:44,765 --> 00:04:47,184 Be glad you got out before the debate begins over 101 00:04:47,268 --> 00:04:51,189 who'd be more fun on a desert island, Angie Dickinson or Ursula Andress. 102 00:04:51,273 --> 00:04:53,733 Oh, that is ludicrous. 103 00:04:53,817 --> 00:04:54,901 It's Angie Dickinson. 104 00:04:56,571 --> 00:04:59,907 You know, Doctor Crane, I know it's none of my business, but… 105 00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:02,708 -Oh, never mind. -No, no, go ahead. 106 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,955 Perhaps you've been feeling restless lately 107 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:09,083 because of a lack of, well, you know, female companionship. 108 00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:10,502 -So I thought… -Oh, dear. 109 00:05:10,586 --> 00:05:11,586 Just listen! 110 00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:13,839 I'm meeting my friend Clare for drinks tonight, 111 00:05:13,923 --> 00:05:15,633 and she's complained of feeling restless also. 112 00:05:15,717 --> 00:05:17,051 No, just stop right there. 113 00:05:17,135 --> 00:05:19,887 I would think by now that you'd know my policy on fix-ups. 114 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,682 She's pretty, she's lonely, and she'd an underwear model. 115 00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:24,768 So you do know my policy. Off we go. 116 00:05:27,688 --> 00:05:29,691 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 117 00:05:34,571 --> 00:05:36,365 Say hello to the Fox and Whistle. 118 00:05:36,449 --> 00:05:38,284 Well, you point her out, and I will. 119 00:05:39,702 --> 00:05:41,078 Hey, love, give us a kiss. 120 00:05:41,162 --> 00:05:43,497 -I hope he's talkin' to you. -Evening, all. 121 00:05:44,165 --> 00:05:44,999 Daphne! 122 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,252 Oh, there's Clare now. 123 00:05:47,336 --> 00:05:49,629 Oh, my, my, she's everything you said she was. 124 00:05:49,713 --> 00:05:51,506 -CLARE: I'm engaged! -And more. 125 00:05:52,549 --> 00:05:53,467 When did this happen? 126 00:05:53,551 --> 00:05:56,887 Well, my old boyfriend Bob surprised me two nights ago. 127 00:05:56,971 --> 00:05:58,722 You've got to meet him. He's right over there. 128 00:05:58,806 --> 00:06:01,059 He even brought someone you might be interested in. 129 00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,895 Oh, he is nice-looking, isn't he? 130 00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:05,230 [MOUTHING WORDS] 131 00:06:05,314 --> 00:06:07,566 Oh, coming, pookie. 132 00:06:08,609 --> 00:06:11,654 I'm sorry, Doctor Crane. It seems I've dragged you down here for nothing. 133 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:12,572 Oh, hardly. 134 00:06:12,656 --> 00:06:15,449 If not for you, I would've missed seeing the world's most nauseating couple 135 00:06:15,533 --> 00:06:16,701 defend their title. 136 00:06:18,829 --> 00:06:19,830 We can leave if you like. 137 00:06:19,914 --> 00:06:21,915 Not at all. Go talk with your friend. I'll have a drink. 138 00:06:21,999 --> 00:06:23,542 -You sure? -Sure. 139 00:06:23,626 --> 00:06:24,626 What do you need? 140 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:27,755 Well, funny, I've been asking myself that same question all day. 141 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,189 -Seems that lately my life… -I'll come back. 142 00:06:34,555 --> 00:06:35,723 I forgot that story. 143 00:06:35,807 --> 00:06:37,766 Oh, jeez, it still doesn't top the time 144 00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:40,185 Leo and I were settin' to break up that fight in the strip joint. 145 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,605 LEO: Ooh, boy! 146 00:06:41,689 --> 00:06:43,815 Remember? We walked in there, and I'm telling you, 147 00:06:43,899 --> 00:06:45,358 there was this one girls who… 148 00:06:45,442 --> 00:06:48,028 Marty, Marty, maybe you shouldn't tell that particular story. 149 00:06:48,112 --> 00:06:51,032 -What, because of Roz? -Oh, please, Frank. 150 00:06:51,116 --> 00:06:54,160 If I can handle the Angie-Ursula debate, I think I can handle this. 151 00:06:54,244 --> 00:06:56,537 Well, yeah, you agreed with me on that one, right? 152 00:06:56,621 --> 00:06:58,571 You said you'd rather sleep with Angie. 153 00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:00,751 One more time, Leo. 154 00:07:00,835 --> 00:07:03,045 If I had to choose. 155 00:07:06,341 --> 00:07:09,510 Hey, Leo, you start tellin' them that strip joint story, all right? 156 00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:11,137 You guys are gonna bust a gut. 157 00:07:11,221 --> 00:07:12,847 Anybody else need a beer? 158 00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:14,308 -Roz? -Yeah. 159 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,267 Remember? 160 00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,977 Oh, jeez, I'm sorry. I forgot. Yeah. 161 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,688 Well, what's the matter, Roz? Afraid you won't be able to control yourself 162 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,190 with all these handsome guys here? 163 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,735 Oh, it's a little late for that, Frank. I'm pregnant. 164 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:26,405 What, really? Oh, that's great. 165 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,199 I remember when my Annie was pregnant. 166 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,120 There is nothin' more beautiful than a pregnant broad. 167 00:07:35,373 --> 00:07:37,291 You're in for a real treat, Roz. 168 00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,961 Best thing I ever did was havin' kids. 169 00:07:39,045 --> 00:07:43,006 You know, from the moment you hold that brand-new baby in your arms, 170 00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:44,299 your whole life changes. 171 00:07:44,383 --> 00:07:45,592 You're right about that. 172 00:07:45,676 --> 00:07:47,887 What about when they grab your finger with their little hands? 173 00:07:47,971 --> 00:07:50,056 Oh, jeez, that's one of the greatest feelings there is. 174 00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:53,559 Yeah, and the joy of seein' them look up at you and smile. 175 00:07:53,643 --> 00:07:56,146 -Cherish every moment, Roz. -FRANK: Oh, he's right. 176 00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:58,607 One minute they're sittin' on your lap, you're their whole world. 177 00:07:58,691 --> 00:08:01,941 Next thing they're grown up, out the door with lives of their own. 178 00:08:02,195 --> 00:08:06,325 And it's just you, old and alone in an empty house. 179 00:08:07,326 --> 00:08:08,410 So empty. 180 00:08:16,086 --> 00:08:18,463 Leo, I don't think you told that story right. 181 00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:23,176 I think that Steven likes you. 182 00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:25,137 I hope so. He's adorable. 183 00:08:25,221 --> 00:08:28,558 I must say I was flattered when he assumed I was an underwear model, too. 184 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,893 I noticed you didn't rush to correct him. 185 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:33,327 Oh, there'll be time for that after the wedding. 186 00:08:34,857 --> 00:08:37,568 Oh, maybe I should just tell Doctor Crane to run along home. 187 00:08:37,652 --> 00:08:39,778 I'm surprised you even brought your boss down here. 188 00:08:39,862 --> 00:08:41,822 I could never relax around mine. 189 00:08:41,906 --> 00:08:43,575 And what if he took a liking to the place? 190 00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:45,577 Oh, that's nothing I have to worry about. 191 00:08:45,661 --> 00:08:47,663 -This pub really isn't his style. -Mm. 192 00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,792 CROWD: ♪ Bring out the barrel ♪ 193 00:08:51,876 --> 00:08:55,046 ♪ Bring out a ton of good cheer ♪ 194 00:08:55,130 --> 00:09:01,386 ♪ And we'll have to roll the barrel, for the gang's all here! ♪ 195 00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,597 [ALL CHEERING] 196 00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:05,265 Daphne, come and sing a song with us. 197 00:09:05,349 --> 00:09:06,224 Well, actually, I… 198 00:09:06,308 --> 00:09:08,311 Oh, you're not this shy about singing around the house. 199 00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:11,272 -You two live together? -Yes, she's my dad's health care worker. 200 00:09:11,356 --> 00:09:12,982 I thought you modeled underwear. 201 00:09:13,066 --> 00:09:14,859 No! Only if her robe's not cinched up tight enough. 202 00:09:14,943 --> 00:09:17,238 [ALL LAUGHING] 203 00:09:17,697 --> 00:09:19,281 -Steven… -TERRENCE: Hey, come on, Frasier, 204 00:09:19,365 --> 00:09:22,826 -we're gonna do "Knees Up Mother Brown." -I don't know "Knees Up Mother Brown." 205 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,121 Hey, I know what. Let's bring some sheet music tomorrow night. 206 00:09:25,205 --> 00:09:26,164 Tomorrow? 207 00:09:26,248 --> 00:09:27,540 -Yes. -DAPHNE: Well, you can't. 208 00:09:27,624 --> 00:09:30,085 I mean, do you know you have that gallery opening tomorrow? 209 00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,463 No, but if you hum a few bars, I'll try to pick it up. 210 00:09:32,547 --> 00:09:38,260 ALL: ♪ Roll out the barrel, We'll have a barrel of fun ♪ 211 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:41,348 ♪ Roll out the barrel… ♪ 212 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:47,479 Hey, Sherry, Daphne's finally clearin' out for a night. 213 00:09:47,563 --> 00:09:48,815 Why don't ya come over? 214 00:09:48,899 --> 00:09:53,945 I'll, uh, you know, I'll get a fire goin', open up a bottle of bubbly, 215 00:09:54,029 --> 00:09:56,199 put a little Bobby Darin on the stereo, 216 00:09:57,366 --> 00:10:00,536 and then "Look out, Mack, he's back in town." 217 00:10:03,456 --> 00:10:06,656 Yeah, I thought it up before I called you. What's the difference? 218 00:10:07,419 --> 00:10:08,754 Okay, see ya soon. 219 00:10:10,631 --> 00:10:13,676 -Whoa! Daphne, don't you look beautiful! -Thank you. 220 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,512 It's so nice to finally have me pub back again. 221 00:10:16,596 --> 00:10:18,264 -At least for a night. -MARTIN: Yeah. 222 00:10:18,348 --> 00:10:19,890 You are sure Doctor Crane has plans? 223 00:10:19,974 --> 00:10:22,269 Oh, yeah. Niles called. They're goin' to the opera. 224 00:10:22,353 --> 00:10:24,396 Let's hope it's one of those long German ones. 225 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,106 I don't want him showing up for last call. 226 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,149 MARTIN: Right. 227 00:10:28,234 --> 00:10:29,402 Oh, good evening, Daphne. 228 00:10:29,486 --> 00:10:31,237 -Wow, you look smashing. -Oh, thanks. 229 00:10:31,321 --> 00:10:32,488 I was just on my way out. 230 00:10:32,572 --> 00:10:34,824 What, to the Fox and Whistle? I'll go with you. 231 00:10:34,908 --> 00:10:37,658 Let me just me mack and me brolly, and Bob's your uncle! 232 00:10:37,995 --> 00:10:38,829 But, wait! 233 00:10:38,913 --> 00:10:41,039 I thought you were going to the opera with your brother. 234 00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:43,375 Oh, no, that's tomorrow night. Gee, I hope Winston's at the pub. 235 00:10:43,459 --> 00:10:45,753 I owe him five quid for the other night. 236 00:10:45,837 --> 00:10:47,839 Suddenly I'm not feeling so well. 237 00:10:47,923 --> 00:10:48,965 Oh, really? 238 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,050 Hope it's not that flu that's going around. 239 00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:53,345 -I think I'll just stay home tonight. -[DOORBELL CHIMES] 240 00:10:53,429 --> 00:10:54,471 That's probably for the best. 241 00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:56,640 You gotta be careful what you bring to the pub with you. 242 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,059 DAPHNE: Tell me about it. 243 00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:01,230 -Hello, Niles. -Frasier. 244 00:11:02,564 --> 00:11:05,817 -Is something the matter? -Oh, had a rough night last night. 245 00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:07,736 -How so? -Oh… 246 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,781 I gave Maris her birthday saddle. 247 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:15,244 She was so thrilled she treated me to a little Lady Godiva impression. 248 00:11:15,328 --> 00:11:16,412 -Oh, my… -Yes. 249 00:11:16,496 --> 00:11:20,543 Apparently the oils in the saddle reacted badly with her cellulite cream. 250 00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,921 It created a powerful epoxy. 251 00:11:26,842 --> 00:11:28,343 -Oh, dear. -Yes. 252 00:11:28,427 --> 00:11:32,180 It took an hour and a full bottle of nail polish remover to get her free. 253 00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:35,809 Today her poor little thighs were so raw 254 00:11:35,893 --> 00:11:39,814 the only way she could find comfort was to straddle a frozen Butterball turkey. 255 00:11:40,857 --> 00:11:41,817 [SIGHS] 256 00:11:45,779 --> 00:11:47,280 The only thing that cheered me up all day 257 00:11:47,364 --> 00:11:49,714 was the thought of our box at the opera tonight. 258 00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:52,203 -Oh, that's tomorrow night, Niles. -No, no, no, it's tonight. 259 00:11:52,287 --> 00:11:53,913 I have the tickets right here. 260 00:11:53,997 --> 00:11:55,206 Oh, no. 261 00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:58,585 -Is there a problem? -Well, yes. 262 00:11:58,669 --> 00:12:01,838 There's a billiard tournament at the pub tonight. 263 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,465 You're passing up "Orpheus and Eurydice" 264 00:12:03,549 --> 00:12:05,718 to shoot pool at some sticky-floored saloon? 265 00:12:05,802 --> 00:12:08,888 Yes, well, my, my partner Terrence 266 00:12:08,972 --> 00:12:11,266 has agreed to skip a family wedding just to participate. 267 00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:12,725 I can't leave him in the lurch. 268 00:12:12,809 --> 00:12:15,396 Isn't there somebody else that could take my place? 269 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,648 At this point I'd just as soon be by myself. 270 00:12:17,732 --> 00:12:20,943 My brother has abandoned me. My wife is cursing my name. 271 00:12:21,027 --> 00:12:22,779 Tonight when Orpheus descends into hell, 272 00:12:22,863 --> 00:12:24,614 I'll be there waiting for him with a fruit basket. 273 00:12:24,698 --> 00:12:27,659 Oh, Niles, you can't stay mad at me. 274 00:12:27,743 --> 00:12:30,162 I promise I'll make it up to you. Press for the lift, will you? 275 00:12:30,246 --> 00:12:32,996 Oh, don't look at me that way. That's what they call it. 276 00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:36,252 [HUMMING] 277 00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:49,768 Hmm. 278 00:12:51,186 --> 00:12:52,896 Ah, baby… 279 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,409 Why is it so bloody dark in here? 280 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,412 Bad enough I have to stay home all evening, I'm not going blind as well. 281 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:09,622 What? What, you're staying in tonight? 282 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:13,210 I don't have much choice since that son of yours decided to go to my pub again. 283 00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,755 I mean, imagine being so dense 284 00:13:15,839 --> 00:13:18,090 that you can completely ruin someone else's evening 285 00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:19,843 and not even be aware of it. 286 00:13:19,927 --> 00:13:21,219 This wax is dripping. 287 00:13:21,303 --> 00:13:22,179 MARTIN: What? 288 00:13:23,639 --> 00:13:26,308 Well, have you tried maybe dropping a hint? 289 00:13:27,686 --> 00:13:30,396 Oh, believe me, I've dropped plenty. 290 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,898 They go right over his head. 291 00:13:31,982 --> 00:13:33,733 Oh, I'll have a glass of that. 292 00:13:33,817 --> 00:13:37,196 Well, look, Daphne, I've gotta level with ya. 293 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,197 Sherry's comin' over, 294 00:13:38,281 --> 00:13:40,783 and I really was hopin' to have the place to myself tonight. 295 00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:41,700 Oh. 296 00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:43,703 You know, I really think you ought to talk to Frasier, 297 00:13:43,787 --> 00:13:47,537 and I'm not just sayin' this because I want you to get the hell out of here. 298 00:13:47,791 --> 00:13:49,626 It's your pub, and you ought to tell him that. 299 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:51,087 He's gotta go find his own place. 300 00:13:51,171 --> 00:13:52,213 I can't say that! 301 00:13:52,297 --> 00:13:55,758 Well, the longer you let it go, the more attached he's gonna get to that place. 302 00:13:55,842 --> 00:13:56,926 But he's my boss. 303 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,178 But it's your pub. 304 00:14:00,681 --> 00:14:01,599 Okay. 305 00:14:02,433 --> 00:14:03,267 That's it. 306 00:14:04,018 --> 00:14:04,935 I'm gonna go talk to him. 307 00:14:05,019 --> 00:14:06,061 Good for you. 308 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,940 [PHONE RINGS] 309 00:14:10,108 --> 00:14:10,942 Hello? 310 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,279 No, Maris, sorry, you just missed him. 311 00:14:15,197 --> 00:14:16,866 Why are your teeth chattering? 312 00:14:22,455 --> 00:14:24,082 You're kiddin' me. 313 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,959 Can't you just use the defroster? 314 00:14:30,672 --> 00:14:31,925 Oh, gee, Terrence, 315 00:14:32,884 --> 00:14:36,534 I never dreamed we'd be eliminated from the tournament in the first round. 316 00:14:37,388 --> 00:14:39,641 Guess I was a little rustier than I thought. 317 00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:42,394 Hey, you know, maybe you can still make that wedding reception. 318 00:14:42,478 --> 00:14:43,812 It's in Liverpool. 319 00:14:45,356 --> 00:14:46,899 Well, then, these are on me. 320 00:14:48,693 --> 00:14:51,112 -Hey, it's Daphne! Hello, love. -Oh, Daphne! 321 00:14:51,196 --> 00:14:52,613 Evening, all. 322 00:14:52,697 --> 00:14:54,574 Doctor Crane, I have to talk to you. 323 00:14:54,658 --> 00:14:56,618 Well, by all means, Daphne. 324 00:14:56,702 --> 00:15:01,248 Oh, uh, Winston, let's have one of these pints for Miss Moon, please. 325 00:15:01,332 --> 00:15:03,208 Oh, this is a real nice surprise, Daphne. 326 00:15:03,292 --> 00:15:05,837 You must be feeling better. Here we are. 327 00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:07,088 You make a toast. 328 00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,383 I don't want you coming down here ever again. 329 00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:16,120 Well, I… I guess "Here's mud in your eye" sounded kind of mean the first time too. 330 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:21,480 I'm sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but I don't know what else to do. 331 00:15:21,564 --> 00:15:24,107 This pub is where I come to get away from things, 332 00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,276 including my job, and you are my boss… 333 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,863 Daphne, I am so sorry. 334 00:15:29,864 --> 00:15:32,701 -I know that must sound selfish. -No, no, not at all. 335 00:15:33,326 --> 00:15:36,872 You know, back in Boston I had a bar like this one. 336 00:15:36,956 --> 00:15:41,669 Certainly understand what it's like to have a place where you can get away. 337 00:15:42,378 --> 00:15:45,257 So, we've just got one solution. 338 00:15:46,008 --> 00:15:47,425 This is your bar. 339 00:15:47,509 --> 00:15:48,343 I'll just go. 340 00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:51,638 I do appreciate this, Doctor Crane. 341 00:15:51,722 --> 00:15:53,224 I know you've made friends here, too. 342 00:15:53,308 --> 00:15:54,892 Yes, but I've only been coming here a week. 343 00:15:54,976 --> 00:15:56,018 You've got a history here. 344 00:15:56,102 --> 00:15:58,771 -They've become like family to me. -Yes. 345 00:15:58,855 --> 00:16:00,273 I'll just settle up and go. 346 00:16:00,941 --> 00:16:03,860 -Hey, stranger! -Hey, I've not been gone that long. 347 00:16:03,944 --> 00:16:05,487 Two months is all. 348 00:16:05,571 --> 00:16:08,365 -Who's this pretty new girl? -Oh, that's Daphne. She's Clare's friend. 349 00:16:08,449 --> 00:16:10,117 She's only been coming in the last month or so. 350 00:16:10,201 --> 00:16:11,035 A month? 351 00:16:11,119 --> 00:16:13,329 Hello. Well, I'll see you at home then, Doctor Crane. 352 00:16:13,413 --> 00:16:15,706 Wait a minute. You've only been coming down here for a month? 353 00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:17,000 That's still longer than you. 354 00:16:17,084 --> 00:16:19,253 Yes, well, there's certainly no way I'm leaving now. 355 00:16:19,337 --> 00:16:20,170 What? 356 00:16:20,254 --> 00:16:22,005 Daphne, this bar has filled up a void in my life. 357 00:16:22,089 --> 00:16:24,716 I'm not going to throw that away because you beat me here by a fortnight. 358 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,095 Stop talking like us! 359 00:16:27,179 --> 00:16:30,390 Now, now, I don't know what you two are arguing about, 360 00:16:30,474 --> 00:16:33,811 but, uh, we settle things around here with a quick game of cricket. 361 00:16:34,729 --> 00:16:37,106 -Darts? -Yeah, rules are on the board. 362 00:16:37,190 --> 00:16:39,066 There's got to be a better way than that. 363 00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:42,112 Well, I don't know. It's decisive. 364 00:16:42,196 --> 00:16:44,364 It's better than standing around here bickering. 365 00:16:44,448 --> 00:16:45,699 It's not exactly my game. 366 00:16:45,783 --> 00:16:47,242 Well, it's not mine either. 367 00:16:47,326 --> 00:16:50,204 Well, all right, let's try it. 368 00:16:50,288 --> 00:16:51,623 You shoot first, Daphne. 369 00:16:53,041 --> 00:16:54,542 You know, I'm rather proud of us. 370 00:16:54,626 --> 00:16:58,526 Here we are, two people with a conflict. We found a civilized way to settle it. 371 00:17:00,383 --> 00:17:01,216 Oh, my! 372 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:03,760 -Is that good? -Quite good. 373 00:17:03,844 --> 00:17:04,804 Lucky shot, then. 374 00:17:09,434 --> 00:17:12,520 You know, Daphne, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to hustle me. 375 00:17:12,604 --> 00:17:14,690 DAPHNE: Oh, not at all. 376 00:17:14,774 --> 00:17:17,109 I may have played a game or two of feathers in my day… 377 00:17:17,193 --> 00:17:19,278 A game or two? 378 00:17:19,362 --> 00:17:21,615 You just made about the most difficult shot on the entire board! 379 00:17:21,699 --> 00:17:24,201 Actually, that's only the second most difficult. 380 00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:26,870 That's the most difficult. 381 00:17:28,288 --> 00:17:32,502 Come to think of it, there might have been a dart board in that bar in Boston. 382 00:17:34,963 --> 00:17:36,714 DAPHNE: Well, look at that. 383 00:17:36,798 --> 00:17:37,841 It's all tied up. 384 00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:40,927 Yes, who would've guessed those hands were so skilled? 385 00:17:41,011 --> 00:17:43,681 Certainly no one who's sampled your corned beef hash. 386 00:17:49,062 --> 00:17:51,606 I score again! [LAUGHS] 387 00:17:51,690 --> 00:17:54,819 Oh, that's not something we hear out of your mouth very often. 388 00:18:03,078 --> 00:18:04,705 You don't want to rush this one. 389 00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:08,667 There's a lot riding on this shot. 390 00:18:08,751 --> 00:18:11,420 -There is such a thing as sportsmanship. -Oh, really? 391 00:18:11,504 --> 00:18:14,591 This from a woman who made armpit noises during my last round. 392 00:18:16,509 --> 00:18:18,470 -Oh, sod! -Ha! 393 00:18:18,554 --> 00:18:21,682 Oh, I am so sorry, Daphne. 394 00:18:21,766 --> 00:18:24,184 Now all I have to do is make this relatively simple shot, 395 00:18:24,268 --> 00:18:25,852 unless, of course, you'd like to concede. 396 00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:28,481 Oh, that's typical American arrogance. 397 00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:31,192 We Brits don't know the meaning of the word defeat. 398 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,653 Oh, really? Then I suppose you're not acquainted with a little spat 399 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,615 we refer to as the Revolutionary War. 400 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:37,909 Out of my way! 401 00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,995 Oh, just like a Yank! 402 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:45,792 Insulting us Brits to cover up your inferiority complex. 403 00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:48,712 Oh! What exactly should we feel inferior about? 404 00:18:48,796 --> 00:18:52,550 Your pioneering work in the field of soccer hooliganism? 405 00:18:54,135 --> 00:18:56,095 DAPHNE: Oh, say your worst! 406 00:18:56,179 --> 00:18:59,516 We both know there isn't as much dignity in this entire country 407 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,101 as our Queen's got in her little finger. 408 00:19:01,185 --> 00:19:02,602 Oh, yes, you've really bested me there. 409 00:19:02,686 --> 00:19:05,397 What could be more dignified than a dowdy old sandbag 410 00:19:05,481 --> 00:19:07,192 who has a flower pot on her head? 411 00:19:08,109 --> 00:19:11,488 Ah! I win! The bar is mine! 412 00:19:13,031 --> 00:19:14,741 Oh, well, lose the long faces, lads. 413 00:19:14,825 --> 00:19:15,785 I'm staying! 414 00:19:17,745 --> 00:19:19,747 Oh, good Lord, I hope you didn't take those little barbs 415 00:19:19,831 --> 00:19:21,290 about the motherland seriously. 416 00:19:21,374 --> 00:19:23,626 -Perhaps you'd better leave now. -Oh, no, Daphne will tell you, 417 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:25,670 there's no greater Anglophile than I. 418 00:19:25,754 --> 00:19:28,631 No, really, I have all my suits made at Saville Row. 419 00:19:28,715 --> 00:19:30,717 Look, I spell "color" with a U. 420 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,809 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 421 00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:40,562 Hello, Niles. 422 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:41,772 Well, look who's here. 423 00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:44,481 Take a wrong turn on the way to the pub? 424 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:52,533 Actually, that scene has grown tiresome, and I missed this place. 425 00:19:52,617 --> 00:19:53,743 I've spoken to Daphne. 426 00:19:54,369 --> 00:19:56,330 I take it it's over "over there"? 427 00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:02,169 You don't have to rub it in. 428 00:20:02,962 --> 00:20:07,092 Anyway, I know I owe you an apology from the other night, so, uh, well, here. 429 00:20:08,677 --> 00:20:10,637 I brought you a peace offering. 430 00:20:12,056 --> 00:20:13,974 "Orpheus and Eurydice." Thank you, Frasier. 431 00:20:14,058 --> 00:20:16,435 [GASPS] The Glyndebourne production! 432 00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,521 -I don't have this one! -You're going to love it! 433 00:20:18,605 --> 00:20:20,524 The "Chorus of the Furies" is particularly moving, 434 00:20:20,608 --> 00:20:22,692 and Janet Baker's Act Three aria… 435 00:20:22,776 --> 00:20:25,946 Is quite simply the best contralto solo I've ever heard. 436 00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:27,907 Oh, thank you, Frasier. 437 00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:31,870 I don't have "Orpheus and Eurydice" on eight-track yet. 438 00:20:32,621 --> 00:20:34,622 But I'm surprised to see you. 439 00:20:34,706 --> 00:20:37,084 No woodworking club today? 440 00:20:37,168 --> 00:20:41,839 Oh, to tell you the truth, I've grown tired of that crowd, 441 00:20:41,923 --> 00:20:45,009 with their stupid bookends and birdhouses. 442 00:20:45,093 --> 00:20:48,221 As soon as I finish shellacking my shoetrees, I'm out of there. 443 00:20:48,305 --> 00:20:49,430 You got thrown out, didn't you? 444 00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,641 -I did not! -Frasier, I can see right through you. 445 00:20:51,725 --> 00:20:54,353 -What are you, a psychiatrist? -I'm not, but I can see it in your face. 446 00:20:54,437 --> 00:20:56,730 -Oh, Niles, don't be ridiculous. -You got kicked out, didn't you? 447 00:20:56,814 --> 00:20:58,649 Why would they throw me out? 448 00:20:58,733 --> 00:21:01,583 They're going to throw you out before they throw me out… 449 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:04,614 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 450 00:21:06,241 --> 00:21:08,326 ♪ Hey, baby I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 451 00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:11,872 ♪ Tossed salad and scrambled eggs ♪ 452 00:21:11,956 --> 00:21:13,082 Mercy. 453 00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:15,877 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 454 00:21:15,961 --> 00:21:18,088 ♪ Yeah, maybe But I got you pegged ♪ 455 00:21:18,172 --> 00:21:20,340 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 456 00:21:20,424 --> 00:21:21,758 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 457 00:21:21,842 --> 00:21:25,263 With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 458 00:21:27,474 --> 00:21:29,226 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 459 00:21:30,102 --> 00:21:32,938 Scrambled eggs all over my face. 460 00:21:33,022 --> 00:21:34,774 What is a boy to do? 461 00:21:36,818 --> 00:21:37,902 Goodnight!