1 00:00:01,980 --> 00:00:03,982 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,029 --> 00:00:10,114 MAN: Half-caf latte, please. 3 00:00:10,198 --> 00:00:11,741 -Half-caf latte! -Half-caf latte! 4 00:00:11,825 --> 00:00:12,992 Half-caf latte! 5 00:00:13,076 --> 00:00:15,162 I rather like this new system. It's lively. 6 00:00:15,246 --> 00:00:16,789 It's more efficient. What can I get for you? 7 00:00:16,873 --> 00:00:19,459 I'll have a double short, low-fat, no-foam latte. 8 00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:21,462 Double short, low-fat, no-foam latte! 9 00:00:21,546 --> 00:00:22,963 Double short, nonfat, low-foam latte! 10 00:00:23,047 --> 00:00:25,717 -Double short, nonfat, no-foam latte! -Excuse me. Uh… 11 00:00:25,801 --> 00:00:27,386 There was a problem in the chain of command. 12 00:00:27,470 --> 00:00:29,137 The middle person reversed part of it. 13 00:00:29,221 --> 00:00:31,933 She said a double short, nonfat, low-foam latte. 14 00:00:32,017 --> 00:00:33,602 Double short, nonfat, low-foam latte! 15 00:00:33,686 --> 00:00:37,148 -Double short, nonfat, low-foam latte! -Double short, nonfat, no-foam latte! 16 00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:39,526 No, you did it again. That's not what I want. 17 00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:41,860 -You can just tell her yourself. -All right. 18 00:00:42,197 --> 00:00:44,740 I'll have a double short, low-fat, no-foam latte. 19 00:00:44,824 --> 00:00:47,744 -Double short, low-fat, no-foam latte! -Double short, low-fat, no-foam latte! 20 00:00:47,828 --> 00:00:48,662 -Nutmeg? -Nutmeg? 21 00:00:48,746 --> 00:00:49,846 -Nutmeg? -No, thanks. 22 00:00:50,373 --> 00:00:51,707 It inflames my stomach lining. 23 00:00:51,791 --> 00:00:53,877 -Inflames his stomach lining! -Inflames his stomach lining! 24 00:00:53,961 --> 00:00:56,130 -Inflames his stomach lining! -Stop that. 25 00:00:57,382 --> 00:00:58,466 Hello, Niles. 26 00:00:58,550 --> 00:00:59,884 -Welcome back. -Well, thank you. 27 00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:01,720 I trust you and Samantha had a pleasant weekend? 28 00:01:01,804 --> 00:01:04,181 Oh, God, it was fabulous. 29 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,476 We stayed at this gorgeous cabin just outside Aspen, 30 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,980 took a chopper every morning to the top of the mountain. 31 00:01:09,064 --> 00:01:10,606 Oh, I just didn't want it to end. 32 00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:13,026 That would explain why you're still wearing that ridiculous jacket 33 00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:14,445 in an overheated café. 34 00:01:14,529 --> 00:01:16,739 Oh, well, in Aspen we all wear them indoors. 35 00:01:16,823 --> 00:01:18,825 The funniest thing happened at the lodge last night. 36 00:01:18,909 --> 00:01:22,496 Jack Nicholson and Tom Brokaw discovered they were wearing exactly the same jacket, 37 00:01:22,580 --> 00:01:23,831 so they staged a mock fight. 38 00:01:23,915 --> 00:01:26,460 Suddenly Donna Karan flew between them pretending to referee. 39 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:30,173 I laughed so hard I nearly spilled my toddy on someone named Poof Daddy. 40 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:32,676 Can I get anything else for you? 41 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,805 Just a dustpan and broom to sweep up some of these names. 42 00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:39,977 Cappuccino, please. 43 00:01:40,061 --> 00:01:42,771 Oh, by the way, Niles, did we have plans for tonight? 44 00:01:42,855 --> 00:01:45,233 -Yes, why? -Well, I'm afraid I have to cancel. 45 00:01:45,317 --> 00:01:47,152 It's my one-month anniversary with Sam. 46 00:01:47,236 --> 00:01:49,155 I'd like to take her to L'Escalier for dinner. 47 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,658 I understand. One month is quite a milestone. 48 00:01:51,742 --> 00:01:54,592 Thanks for the reminder. I need to change my water filter. 49 00:01:56,373 --> 00:01:58,249 Oh, damn. They put nutmeg on this. 50 00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,252 Speaking of Meg, Meg Ryan told me a delightful story 51 00:02:00,336 --> 00:02:02,838 about the practical joke Tony Hopkins played on Jodie 52 00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:04,341 at the wrap party for Lambs. 53 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:07,387 My stomach lining is not going to get a break today, is it? 54 00:02:12,643 --> 00:02:14,478 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 55 00:02:14,562 --> 00:02:17,482 -SAM: I'm so sorry I was late. -FRASIER: Oh, no, that's all right. 56 00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:20,778 I took the liberty of ordering us the "Taste of Monaco" dinner. 57 00:02:20,862 --> 00:02:21,820 Oh, good choice. 58 00:02:21,904 --> 00:02:24,950 Well, as I recall, that's what you ordered on our first date. 59 00:02:25,492 --> 00:02:28,913 Of course, it wasn't food you were craving that night. 60 00:02:28,997 --> 00:02:33,627 You whisked me away back to my place before the crab cakes could even arrive. 61 00:02:33,711 --> 00:02:35,129 [SAM CHUCKLES] 62 00:02:35,213 --> 00:02:37,423 There's no better way to celebrate an anniversary 63 00:02:37,507 --> 00:02:39,469 than with an historical reenactment. 64 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:42,013 I've got my costume on underneath. 65 00:02:42,765 --> 00:02:45,809 Actually, I'm really looking forward to those crab cakes. 66 00:02:45,893 --> 00:02:48,980 Great. Well, yes, I suppose we should try the food here once. 67 00:02:50,148 --> 00:02:51,733 But be sure to leave some room. 68 00:02:51,817 --> 00:02:55,822 You're bound to find a little Frasier mint on your pillow when we get home. 69 00:02:55,906 --> 00:02:59,451 By the way, thanks again for this weekend. 70 00:02:59,535 --> 00:03:00,744 You're welcome. 71 00:03:00,828 --> 00:03:03,123 It's funny, I think it was a real turning point for us. 72 00:03:03,207 --> 00:03:04,499 Well, for me. 73 00:03:04,583 --> 00:03:06,794 See, I was so relaxed. 74 00:03:06,878 --> 00:03:09,756 In the beginning of relationships, usually I'm very tentative. 75 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,427 I just have this dark fear that I'm about to be cut loose. 76 00:03:13,511 --> 00:03:15,263 -Frasier? -Oh, I know, I know. 77 00:03:15,347 --> 00:03:19,685 I'm just being so insecure. It's nice to know I'm on solid ground. 78 00:03:19,769 --> 00:03:22,731 -Um, Frasier… -I'm standing on quicksand, aren't I? 79 00:03:22,815 --> 00:03:23,941 [SAM SIGHS] 80 00:03:24,650 --> 00:03:26,736 God, I didn't want to talk about this until later. 81 00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:27,862 Oh, God. 82 00:03:28,530 --> 00:03:31,283 Oh, it's just not working out between the two of us. 83 00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:33,829 No, it's not you. It's me. 84 00:03:34,371 --> 00:03:36,205 I just don't feel the same way about us anymore. 85 00:03:36,289 --> 00:03:38,042 But things were going so well. 86 00:03:38,584 --> 00:03:39,501 What happened? 87 00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:41,046 Oh, nothing happened. 88 00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:45,051 But we've had a wonderful time together, Frasier. It's just run its course. 89 00:03:46,553 --> 00:03:47,512 I'm sorry. 90 00:03:48,847 --> 00:03:52,184 Well… I'm sorry too. 91 00:03:52,978 --> 00:03:54,354 I hope we can still be friends. 92 00:03:54,438 --> 00:03:56,189 Oh, yes, yes, I'd like that too. 93 00:03:58,025 --> 00:04:00,737 Well, you know, seeing as how we're friends and all, 94 00:04:00,821 --> 00:04:02,614 I suppose there's no reason we shouldn't stay 95 00:04:02,698 --> 00:04:04,449 and enjoy what's sure to be a splendid meal. 96 00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:06,578 -Absolutely. -Great. Okay. 97 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:13,836 -[CLEARS THROAT] Your first course. -Ah. Thank you. Mm. 98 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,505 [SNIFFS] Ah. 99 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,549 Oh, tell me, how many more courses are there? 100 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:18,634 Six, sir. 101 00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:20,471 Could you bring those all at once? 102 00:04:26,978 --> 00:04:28,313 -Good Lord. -What? 103 00:04:28,397 --> 00:04:29,732 Look at this headline. 104 00:04:31,985 --> 00:04:34,821 "Martin Crane dead." Whoa! 105 00:04:34,905 --> 00:04:36,908 You don't need much coffee after that. 106 00:04:37,784 --> 00:04:40,912 Gee, 58. Poor guy. Hardly had a life. 107 00:04:40,996 --> 00:04:42,706 -Handsome fellow, though. -Yeah. 108 00:04:42,790 --> 00:04:44,166 Multimillionaire. 109 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,793 Decorated war hero. 110 00:04:45,877 --> 00:04:47,212 Wrote a spy novel. 111 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:51,383 "Survived by his wife, Florence, a former Miss Washington, 112 00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:54,721 "and two sons, Joe, a Marine Corps colonel," 113 00:04:54,805 --> 00:04:57,642 and the professional baseball player Mickey Crane." 114 00:04:59,645 --> 00:05:02,439 Nothing like starting the day off jealous of a dead guy. 115 00:05:05,735 --> 00:05:06,694 Oh, hello, all. 116 00:05:06,778 --> 00:05:08,321 -Morning, Dr. Crane. -Hi, Fras. 117 00:05:08,405 --> 00:05:10,073 You were up and out early today. 118 00:05:10,157 --> 00:05:12,077 Yes, well, I felt like taking a walk. 119 00:05:12,661 --> 00:05:13,828 Got a lot on my mind. 120 00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:15,205 Picked up some pastries. 121 00:05:15,289 --> 00:05:16,290 -DAPHNE: Well… -Great. 122 00:05:16,374 --> 00:05:20,336 Whatever it is, you'll cheer up when you see these photos from your ski weekend. 123 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,297 -Oh. -I admit, I took a peek. 124 00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:25,634 I must say, this Sam of yours is quite a catch. 125 00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:28,722 She's gorgeous, smart, stylish… 126 00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,140 We broke up last night. 127 00:05:30,224 --> 00:05:31,643 Orange juice, anyone? 128 00:05:32,936 --> 00:05:34,521 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 129 00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:35,856 Oh, it's all right. 130 00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:37,232 It was a mutual decision. 131 00:05:37,316 --> 00:05:40,320 Well, a little more mutual on her part than mine. 132 00:05:41,238 --> 00:05:43,408 Once she dumped me, I jumped right on board. 133 00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:46,160 Anyway, I'll be fine. 134 00:05:46,244 --> 00:05:48,497 That's the spirit. Just put it all behind you. 135 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:49,415 Exactly. 136 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,002 I must admit, I'm having a little difficulty achieving closure. 137 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:56,507 See, Sam said that her feelings changed for no reason. 138 00:05:56,591 --> 00:05:59,469 I can't help thinking it might have been something specific about me. 139 00:05:59,553 --> 00:06:02,181 Now hold on. Don't try to make this your fault. 140 00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:04,016 DAPHNE: She's probably telling the truth. 141 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,478 If a woman's trying to spare your feelings, she'll give you the old 142 00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:08,397 "It's not you, it's me." 143 00:06:09,774 --> 00:06:12,224 -That's exactly what she said. -Waffles, anyone? 144 00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:16,156 Fras, I know you're always looking for an explanation for everything, 145 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,575 but sometimes there isn't one. 146 00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:21,622 Well, I know, Dad. It's just, it's gonna just drive me crazy. 147 00:06:21,706 --> 00:06:24,291 You know, until I know why it ended, 148 00:06:24,375 --> 00:06:26,378 I'll just assume it was any number of things about me. 149 00:06:26,462 --> 00:06:29,841 -My self-confidence will be shattered. -You got two choices here. 150 00:06:29,925 --> 00:06:32,760 You can spend days trying to figure it out until it drives you nuts, 151 00:06:32,844 --> 00:06:34,972 or you can do the smart thing, make a clean break, 152 00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:37,768 never talk to her again, and get on with your life. 153 00:06:41,356 --> 00:06:43,650 You're right. That's exactly what I should do. 154 00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:45,527 -Thank you. -No problem. 155 00:06:46,654 --> 00:06:48,488 Sometimes you're very insightful. 156 00:06:48,572 --> 00:06:50,575 I've been around the block a few times. 157 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:56,904 -So when are you gonna go talk to her? -Right after my waffles. 158 00:07:07,096 --> 00:07:08,263 FRASIER: Sam! Sam! 159 00:07:08,347 --> 00:07:09,599 What are the chances? 160 00:07:09,683 --> 00:07:11,726 You've found my thinking place. 161 00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:15,898 Frasier, listen, I'm ten minutes late for a deposition. 162 00:07:15,982 --> 00:07:17,693 Oh, well, we can walk and talk. 163 00:07:18,527 --> 00:07:19,361 All right. 164 00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,698 So I'm loving this new arrangement of ours. 165 00:07:22,782 --> 00:07:25,619 I think this being-friends thing's gonna work out great. 166 00:07:25,703 --> 00:07:28,789 -Could you pick up the pace a little? -Right, right. Uh… 167 00:07:28,873 --> 00:07:31,459 -How have you been? -I just saw you last night. 168 00:07:31,543 --> 00:07:33,879 So you did. Now that you bring up last night… 169 00:07:33,963 --> 00:07:35,589 You do walk fast. 170 00:07:35,673 --> 00:07:38,927 …uh, I was hoping for a little clarification. 171 00:07:39,011 --> 00:07:41,180 I told you, this has nothing to do with you. 172 00:07:41,264 --> 00:07:43,975 Yes, but it seems highly unlikely 173 00:07:44,059 --> 00:07:47,855 that such a sudden change could have nothing to do with me. 174 00:07:47,939 --> 00:07:51,610 I mean, maybe it was something that I did unintentionally. 175 00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:54,237 I'm not sure… Oh, I'm sorry. My fault. 176 00:07:54,321 --> 00:07:56,532 You know, something this weekend maybe? 177 00:07:56,616 --> 00:07:58,701 I know I played the piano in the lounge a little too long, 178 00:07:58,785 --> 00:08:00,955 but who knew General Schwarzkopf was so crazy for show tunes? 179 00:08:01,039 --> 00:08:01,873 All right. 180 00:08:02,707 --> 00:08:05,961 There's nothing I'm not telling you. Sometimes things just end. 181 00:08:06,045 --> 00:08:08,214 Please try not to take it so personally. 182 00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:12,344 -FRASIER: All right. -All right. Look, I really am late. 183 00:08:12,428 --> 00:08:13,846 I'll talk to you soon, okay? 184 00:08:15,098 --> 00:08:16,183 Take care. 185 00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:23,609 -Oh. -What's the matter with you? 186 00:08:24,276 --> 00:08:25,569 Well, that's just it. 187 00:08:26,528 --> 00:08:27,572 I don't know. 188 00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:35,707 Where is Frasier? 189 00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:38,251 He knows we have reservations at Bavetta's. 190 00:08:38,335 --> 00:08:39,795 If you're late, they give away your table 191 00:08:39,879 --> 00:08:42,629 and make you sit in the kitchen with the owner's mother. 192 00:08:44,676 --> 00:08:46,929 What the hell did I do with that remote? 193 00:08:47,013 --> 00:08:49,682 -Daph, are you sure you haven't seen it? -Positive. 194 00:08:49,766 --> 00:08:52,019 MARTIN: They ought to make one with a sensor on it. 195 00:08:52,103 --> 00:08:56,482 If you get more than 20 feet from the TV, it senses it and starts beeping. 196 00:08:56,566 --> 00:08:58,902 Or maybe for a deaf person, they could make one 197 00:08:58,986 --> 00:09:00,988 that has purple smoke coming out of it 198 00:09:01,072 --> 00:09:03,575 like some kind of flare system or something. 199 00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:07,247 Mr. Crane, I'm begging you, you've got to get out of the house more. 200 00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:12,085 Hello, all. 201 00:09:12,169 --> 00:09:14,005 Oh, Niles, what a pleasant surprise. 202 00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:16,839 Just what Mama Bavetta will say when we pull up a chair. 203 00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:20,054 Oh, that's right, dinner. I completely forgot. 204 00:09:20,138 --> 00:09:23,558 I took a long walk after work. I'm sorry, Niles. 205 00:09:23,642 --> 00:09:26,812 -It must have completely slipped my mind. -Well, Bavetta's out now. 206 00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,441 I take it you're still consumed with the Sam situation. 207 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:32,527 -Trying to figure out what happened. -The relationship ended. 208 00:09:32,611 --> 00:09:34,614 -But there's got to be a reason. -See, you're fixated. 209 00:09:34,698 --> 00:09:35,573 I am not fixated. 210 00:09:35,657 --> 00:09:38,160 That is fixated. Dad, what the hell are you doing? 211 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,289 Oh, no, this is stupid. 212 00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:44,501 Maybe if I stick together about ten chopsticks 213 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,880 and put a rubber tip on the end for gripping. 214 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:48,882 [DOORBELL RINGS] 215 00:09:51,594 --> 00:09:52,677 -Oh, hello. -Hi. 216 00:09:52,761 --> 00:09:54,472 -Be ready in a sec. -ROZ: It's all right. 217 00:09:54,556 --> 00:09:55,848 -Movie doesn't start till 8:00. -Right. 218 00:09:55,932 --> 00:09:57,392 I forgot you two had plans. Come on in. 219 00:09:57,476 --> 00:09:59,186 -All right. -I was wondering… 220 00:09:59,270 --> 00:10:02,398 No, I don't know why Sam broke up with you, okay? 221 00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:04,317 Just like I didn't know two hours ago. 222 00:10:04,401 --> 00:10:09,408 Just like Gil and Bulldog and Miss Judy from The Arts and Crafts Hour didn't know. 223 00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:13,746 Well… never hurts to ask. 224 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:17,709 Miss Judy had some real insights before she had to make her Popsicle-stick run. 225 00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:19,753 I'm gonna go to Duke's, watch the game there. 226 00:10:19,837 --> 00:10:21,840 Wait, everybody. Before you're scattered, 227 00:10:21,924 --> 00:10:24,218 I'd like to ask an enormous favor. 228 00:10:24,302 --> 00:10:29,266 In the spirit of, well, self-improvement, I'd like you to tell me in your own words 229 00:10:29,892 --> 00:10:33,605 just what exactly about me you find unlovable. 230 00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:38,443 -[ALL CHATTERING] -No, no, no. Please, please. Please. 231 00:10:38,527 --> 00:10:41,447 Please, honestly, for the sake of my future relationships. 232 00:10:41,531 --> 00:10:44,952 I mean, just… I know that you're afraid to hurt my feelings, 233 00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:47,914 but I can stand a little constructive criticism. 234 00:10:47,998 --> 00:10:51,126 Come on, please, tell me, what do you think are my main faults? 235 00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:53,713 Well, let's start with what you're doing now. 236 00:10:53,797 --> 00:10:55,507 You analyze everything to death. 237 00:10:55,591 --> 00:10:58,093 Sam said it wasn't your fault, but you keep digging around 238 00:10:58,177 --> 00:11:00,263 and digging around until you drive everybody nuts. 239 00:11:00,347 --> 00:11:04,059 -Okay. Dad thinks I am over analytical. -[MARTIN SCOFFS] 240 00:11:04,143 --> 00:11:06,437 That's great. We got the ball rolling. Who's next? Niles? 241 00:11:06,521 --> 00:11:09,441 I'm not entirely sure how useful this exercise is. 242 00:11:09,525 --> 00:11:11,319 I don't care how you feel about it. Participate. 243 00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,279 -Pushy. -Well, yes, if that's what it takes… 244 00:11:13,363 --> 00:11:14,364 Oh, thank you. 245 00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:20,496 All right, Daphne, it's your turn. Don't be shy. 246 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,791 Well, if I had to choose, 247 00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:25,211 I'd say you are a bit of a fussbudget. 248 00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:27,797 Fussbudget! If you don't mind the substitution, 249 00:11:27,881 --> 00:11:30,175 I think maybe "demanding" is more le mot juste. 250 00:11:30,259 --> 00:11:31,677 Pretentious. 251 00:11:31,761 --> 00:11:33,679 Right. Now, see, this is very good. 252 00:11:33,763 --> 00:11:37,059 -Roz, you must have something. -You're a little full of yourself. 253 00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:38,979 Great. Okay. Pompous. 254 00:11:40,314 --> 00:11:42,273 And you do tend to ramble on with the callers. 255 00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:44,485 A tad loquacious. 256 00:11:44,569 --> 00:11:45,486 Pretentious. 257 00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,990 -Dad, I already wrote that down. -Underline it. 258 00:11:55,583 --> 00:11:57,501 -Oh, uh, snippy. -Snippy. 259 00:11:57,585 --> 00:11:58,711 Sarcastic. 260 00:11:58,795 --> 00:11:59,712 Bossy. 261 00:11:59,796 --> 00:12:01,047 -Huffy. -Vain. 262 00:12:01,131 --> 00:12:02,841 -Oh, yeah. -DAPHNE: That's a good one. 263 00:12:02,925 --> 00:12:04,426 [ALL CHATTERING] 264 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:05,929 Oh, well, how nice. 265 00:12:06,013 --> 00:12:08,766 We finally found an activity we can all enjoy together. 266 00:12:10,101 --> 00:12:12,561 Why don't you just admit what you're doing here? 267 00:12:12,645 --> 00:12:14,940 This isn't some "help me be a better person" thing. 268 00:12:15,024 --> 00:12:18,152 You're trying to figure out what you can fix so you can win Sam back. 269 00:12:18,236 --> 00:12:19,862 Oh, now, Roz, that's preposterous. 270 00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:21,155 ROZ: Look who you're talking to. 271 00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:25,036 I've been down this road so many times they call it the Roz Expressway. 272 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:29,291 I've heard that phrase before but in a slightly different context. 273 00:12:33,964 --> 00:12:34,924 Well, all right. 274 00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:38,177 Maybe there is some truth in what you say. 275 00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:42,391 I mean, after all, Sam is really quite a catch. 276 00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:44,310 Why wouldn't I want to get her back? 277 00:12:44,811 --> 00:12:48,148 But you shouldn't change yourself just to please her. 278 00:12:48,232 --> 00:12:51,193 It's not healthy, and it doesn't work. 279 00:12:51,277 --> 00:12:52,821 If it did, Steve Wilson would be my husband 280 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,157 and not just some name tattooed on my butt. 281 00:12:56,952 --> 00:12:59,996 If you want my advice, the best thing you can do is nothing. 282 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,541 Just leave her be to think about what she's missing out on. 283 00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:05,045 I totally agree. No candy. No flowers. 284 00:13:05,129 --> 00:13:06,964 And whatever you do, don't call. 285 00:13:08,298 --> 00:13:11,302 I don't see anything wrong with keeping the lines of communication open. 286 00:13:11,386 --> 00:13:13,472 Oh, God, you called, didn't you? 287 00:13:13,556 --> 00:13:15,974 Well, maybe I left a carefully worded message. 288 00:13:16,058 --> 00:13:17,935 You never call somebody who's broken up with you. 289 00:13:18,019 --> 00:13:19,062 It makes you look desperate. 290 00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:22,233 I didn't have any choice. She wouldn't return any of my pages. 291 00:13:26,447 --> 00:13:29,033 Oh, God, I've blown it, haven't I? 292 00:13:29,117 --> 00:13:31,535 That depends. What did you say on your message? 293 00:13:31,619 --> 00:13:33,288 FRASIER: Well, nothing undignified. 294 00:13:33,372 --> 00:13:35,332 Tone of voice is everything, isn't it? 295 00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:37,168 Maybe I should just play them for you. 296 00:13:37,252 --> 00:13:39,253 You have her access code to her answering machine? 297 00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:40,464 Luckily, I set it up with her. 298 00:13:40,548 --> 00:13:43,384 I gave her a code that would be easy to remember: my birthday. 299 00:13:43,468 --> 00:13:45,345 What's so easy about May 7th? 300 00:13:45,429 --> 00:13:47,724 I wouldn't know, Dad. My birthday's in March. 301 00:13:50,143 --> 00:13:52,396 Oh, that's right. The 7th. That's Eddie's. 302 00:13:54,732 --> 00:13:55,775 Okay, okay, here we go. 303 00:13:55,859 --> 00:13:59,613 All right, now, listen and tell me if you think I sound desperate. 304 00:13:59,697 --> 00:14:00,948 [MACHINE BEEPS] 305 00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:04,661 WOMAN [ON MACHINE]: Two quick things: Dinner at L'Escalier is now at 8:30, 306 00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:08,582 and the judge needs to see you at 9:00 tomorrow morning, not 10:00. Bye. 307 00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:11,837 -I didn't get desperate. I got feminine. -FRASIER: Shut up, Niles. 308 00:14:11,921 --> 00:14:13,505 -[MACHINE BEEPS] -Ah, here, huh… 309 00:14:13,589 --> 00:14:17,218 [ON MACHINE] Hello, Sam. It's Frasier. Give me a call if you get a chance. Bye. 310 00:14:17,302 --> 00:14:19,096 You don't sound desperate at all. 311 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,097 [MACHINE BEEPS] 312 00:14:20,181 --> 00:14:22,516 FRASIER: Hi, Sam. I forgot to mention I'll be at the office. 313 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,727 Call me. It's Frasier. 314 00:14:24,811 --> 00:14:27,273 Well, maybe just a whiff of desperation. 315 00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:31,216 -[MACHINE BEEPS] -FRASIER: Hi, I'm at the office now. 316 00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:34,504 -[MACHINE BEEPS] -FRASIER: Still at the office. 317 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:35,908 [MACHINE BEEPS] 318 00:14:35,992 --> 00:14:37,660 FRASIER: I stepped out to the coffee machine. 319 00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:38,912 Thought I might have missed you. 320 00:14:38,996 --> 00:14:40,873 How quickly a whiff becomes a stench. 321 00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:45,670 -You know, they just get worse after that. -There's more? 322 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:48,340 Yes, not anymore, though. There. 323 00:14:48,424 --> 00:14:49,341 Messages erased. 324 00:14:49,425 --> 00:14:51,428 Your messages were not the only ones on there. 325 00:14:51,512 --> 00:14:54,599 What about the one from her secretary about the meeting with the judge? 326 00:14:54,683 --> 00:14:56,559 You're right. That did sound important. 327 00:14:56,643 --> 00:14:59,563 -What are you gonna do? -I guess I could just call back 328 00:14:59,647 --> 00:15:01,941 and leave a message saying I inadvertently erased the message 329 00:15:02,025 --> 00:15:03,818 while erasing a bunch of messages I left earlier. 330 00:15:03,902 --> 00:15:05,778 With her secret access code. 331 00:15:05,862 --> 00:15:06,906 Right. 332 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,491 Oh, God, this is humiliating. 333 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,077 Well, Frasier, I hate to appear unsupportive, 334 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,371 but I gotta get to Duke's for the game. 335 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:17,005 -And we're gonna be late for that movie. -Oh, wait. I forgot my purse. 336 00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:19,838 MARTIN: Ah, don't worry about it, Frasier. 337 00:15:19,922 --> 00:15:22,008 You'll be fine. You'll bounce back. 338 00:15:22,092 --> 00:15:23,009 You're tough. 339 00:15:23,093 --> 00:15:25,094 -And resourceful. -Resilient. 340 00:15:25,178 --> 00:15:27,056 -Optimistic. -Tenacious. 341 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,017 -Conceited. -Different list, Daph. 342 00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:32,062 See you all. 343 00:15:34,024 --> 00:15:36,985 Hard to believe this picture was taken only three days ago. 344 00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:42,409 Look at us, how happy I was. 345 00:15:43,785 --> 00:15:45,246 Now I'll never see her again. 346 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:48,832 Aren't you overdramatizing? You're bound to run into her now and then. 347 00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:51,086 No, I was talking about me and Lesley Stahl. 348 00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:54,882 Looking at these photos, 349 00:15:54,966 --> 00:15:58,011 I can't help noticing there are very few of you and Sam together. 350 00:15:58,095 --> 00:15:59,429 What are you getting at? 351 00:15:59,513 --> 00:16:02,767 Well, I'm just wondering how much you really feel for this woman. 352 00:16:02,851 --> 00:16:05,563 Don't be ridiculous. I haven't felt this way in ages. 353 00:16:05,647 --> 00:16:07,231 I'm sorry. Guess I was wrong. 354 00:16:07,815 --> 00:16:08,817 It's love, then. 355 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,863 Well, I… I don't know about love. 356 00:16:12,947 --> 00:16:15,866 I mean, we've only been seeing each other for a month. 357 00:16:15,950 --> 00:16:18,161 But you could see yourself falling in love with her. 358 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,163 Possibly. 359 00:16:19,747 --> 00:16:22,792 -Sometime down the line. -Yes. Yes, perhaps. 360 00:16:22,876 --> 00:16:25,337 Well, no wonder you're heartbroken. 361 00:16:25,421 --> 00:16:27,798 You've just lost the only woman you could even possibly, 362 00:16:27,882 --> 00:16:30,386 sometime down the line, perhaps fall in love with. 363 00:16:32,972 --> 00:16:36,522 I'm surprised the country-music people haven't jumped all over this one. 364 00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:46,155 Oh, all right, so I don't rhapsodize about her. 365 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,367 No, you did rhapsodize when she took you to Cigare Volant 366 00:16:49,451 --> 00:16:53,080 and you were seated in a secret VIP room we never knew existed. 367 00:16:53,164 --> 00:16:54,707 What are you suggesting? That I'm so shallow 368 00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,251 I was with her for her connections? 369 00:16:56,335 --> 00:16:59,212 I wouldn't put it as harshly as that, but let's face it. 370 00:16:59,296 --> 00:17:02,342 Ever since we were young, you've had a yearning to run with the cool kids, 371 00:17:02,426 --> 00:17:06,013 and it's never worked out for you. Your one day on the football team. 372 00:17:08,392 --> 00:17:11,395 The summer you bought that motorcycle. Although, to be accurate… 373 00:17:11,479 --> 00:17:14,179 It's only a moped if you pedal it, and I never pedaled. 374 00:17:16,527 --> 00:17:18,612 I just wonder if what you're mourning 375 00:17:18,696 --> 00:17:22,200 isn't so much the loss of Sam as the loss of her celebrity lifestyle. 376 00:17:23,578 --> 00:17:26,539 I must admit things never did seem quite right between us. 377 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,335 If it hadn't been for her friends, I probably would've broken it off myself. 378 00:17:30,419 --> 00:17:33,631 Oh, God, shame on me. 379 00:17:33,715 --> 00:17:35,592 Don't punish yourself, Frasier. 380 00:17:35,676 --> 00:17:37,594 At least you're deep enough to realize you're shallow. 381 00:17:37,678 --> 00:17:38,554 Yes. 382 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,811 -Dinner? -Let's. 383 00:17:44,479 --> 00:17:47,982 Mm. Although I've still got to phone her about that message. 384 00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:49,234 Oh, you know what? 385 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,237 Why don't we stop by L'Escalier on our way to dinner? 386 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,781 -You can tell her in person. -Even better. 387 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:57,077 God, Niles, I can't tell you how helpful this has been. 388 00:17:57,161 --> 00:17:58,579 How can I ever repay you? 389 00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:01,833 You can start by getting me into that VIP room at Cigare Volant. 390 00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:03,168 Where is the entrance? 391 00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:05,838 -Behind the cigarette machine? -That's just a decoy. 392 00:18:05,922 --> 00:18:08,222 -It's through the dry cleaner next door. -No! 393 00:18:10,553 --> 00:18:13,556 -[PEOPLE CHATTERING] -[SILVERWARE CLINKING] 394 00:18:15,851 --> 00:18:16,893 Hello, Sam. 395 00:18:16,977 --> 00:18:17,937 SAM: Frasier. 396 00:18:18,021 --> 00:18:19,772 I know you didn't expect to see me tonight. 397 00:18:19,856 --> 00:18:21,065 Well, no. 398 00:18:21,149 --> 00:18:24,403 After all those messages, I can't say I'm totally surprised. 399 00:18:24,487 --> 00:18:25,656 God, you heard them? 400 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,324 I checked my machine this afternoon. 401 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,202 Frasier, I think we really need to talk. 402 00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:31,454 No, we don't. 403 00:18:32,121 --> 00:18:33,415 I promise you, 404 00:18:33,499 --> 00:18:35,375 I will never call you again. 405 00:18:35,459 --> 00:18:38,337 I've thought about this, and believe me, you made the right decision. 406 00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,089 No, no, I didn't. 407 00:18:40,173 --> 00:18:41,300 Excuse me? 408 00:18:41,384 --> 00:18:43,510 Yeah, please, sit down. 409 00:18:43,594 --> 00:18:45,972 I was gonna call you later anyway. 410 00:18:46,056 --> 00:18:50,853 You see, I think I figured out what happened between the two of us. 411 00:18:50,937 --> 00:18:52,188 I panicked. 412 00:18:52,272 --> 00:18:54,107 I was starting to really care about you, 413 00:18:54,191 --> 00:18:58,654 thought we might even have a future, even, and, well, it scared me. 414 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:02,326 But the way you've pursued me, showing up at the courthouse 415 00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:05,497 and leaving all of those messages, well, and now you're here. 416 00:19:05,581 --> 00:19:08,751 Obviously you feel just as strongly as I do. 417 00:19:08,835 --> 00:19:10,336 It's funny, really, 418 00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:12,129 both of us falling in love so fast 419 00:19:12,213 --> 00:19:14,716 and not realizing the other one felt the same way. 420 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,051 We should be laughing. 421 00:19:24,813 --> 00:19:25,731 [SIGHS] 422 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,067 -Listen, Sam… -SAM: No, no, no. 423 00:19:28,151 --> 00:19:31,153 I'm going to tell you what we're going to be doing this weekend. 424 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:36,118 We are taking the Concorde to London for a party at Alec Guinness' place. 425 00:19:36,202 --> 00:19:38,830 I'm not so sure… Sir Alec Guinness? 426 00:19:39,414 --> 00:19:41,708 Yes, well, I know it's a long way to go, but… 427 00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:43,585 [GASPS] But Stephen is going to be there, 428 00:19:43,669 --> 00:19:45,922 and he's promised to play some songs from the new one. 429 00:19:46,006 --> 00:19:48,134 Look, I don't know if… Stephen Sondheim? 430 00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:51,303 Yes. You'll never guess who'll be singing with him. 431 00:19:51,387 --> 00:19:54,975 -No, no, please, don't tell me. Please. -Frasier, what… What is it? 432 00:19:55,059 --> 00:19:56,603 You seem upset. 433 00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:01,400 Sam, I can't see you anymore. 434 00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,235 What? 435 00:20:03,319 --> 00:20:08,409 Look, I think you're an incredible woman, but I've come to a realization about us. 436 00:20:09,494 --> 00:20:10,536 Well, about me. 437 00:20:11,538 --> 00:20:13,748 And I just don't see any future for us. 438 00:20:13,832 --> 00:20:17,045 I know it sounds strange after the way I was pursuing you, but… 439 00:20:19,048 --> 00:20:20,924 I've been in it for all the wrong reasons. 440 00:20:21,008 --> 00:20:22,009 Like what? 441 00:20:22,593 --> 00:20:24,012 I'm not very proud of this, 442 00:20:24,096 --> 00:20:29,560 but, uh… maybe I was a little dazzled by the circle you travel in. 443 00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:34,274 So you were with me just so you could be around some famous people? 444 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,068 It's not as though I wasn't fond of you as well. 445 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,446 Fond of me? Oh, well, thank you very much. 446 00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:41,366 I understand that you're upset, and I'm just gonna go. 447 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:43,828 I don't believe this. My friends. 448 00:20:43,912 --> 00:20:48,667 Look, I know it's shallow, and it's something I'm gonna have to work on. 449 00:20:48,751 --> 00:20:50,545 Hi, Sam. How are you? 450 00:20:50,629 --> 00:20:52,631 Lesley! Hello! 451 00:20:53,215 --> 00:20:55,384 It's Frasier Crane. We met this weekend. 452 00:20:55,468 --> 00:20:57,053 -How are you? Hi. -FRASIER: Hi. 453 00:20:57,137 --> 00:21:00,016 What kind of sick bastard are you? 454 00:21:01,475 --> 00:21:03,811 You're right. We're just having a little bit of a spat, 455 00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:07,983 but of course, I don't need to tell you, being the ace reporter that you are. 456 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,904 -Oh, just get out of here right now. -FRASIER: Right. Okay, fine. 457 00:21:10,988 --> 00:21:12,906 If you're in town a while, maybe we could have lunch. 458 00:21:12,990 --> 00:21:14,367 -Get out! -Oh! 459 00:21:14,451 --> 00:21:17,453 What is the matter with me? Lesley? 460 00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:18,622 [MOUTHS] Call me. 461 00:21:25,088 --> 00:21:26,173 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 462 00:21:26,257 --> 00:21:28,711 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 463 00:21:28,795 --> 00:21:30,929 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 464 00:21:31,013 --> 00:21:32,514 Quite stylish. 465 00:21:33,182 --> 00:21:35,602 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 466 00:21:35,686 --> 00:21:38,105 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 467 00:21:38,189 --> 00:21:40,273 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 468 00:21:40,357 --> 00:21:41,943 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 469 00:21:42,027 --> 00:21:45,156 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 470 00:21:46,199 --> 00:21:48,159 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 471 00:21:48,826 --> 00:21:50,370 Good night, everybody!