1 00:00:02,227 --> 00:00:04,229 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,236 -Good morning, Roz. -Hey, Frasier. 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:12,237 -For you. -Oh. 4 00:00:12,321 --> 00:00:15,782 A little token of thanks. After you cut those new promos, 5 00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:19,703 Dr. Frank on KTLK practically vanished from the radio. 6 00:00:20,746 --> 00:00:22,831 I'm not very good at picking out gifts for people, 7 00:00:22,915 --> 00:00:25,417 but when I saw this, I knew it was perfect for you. 8 00:00:26,251 --> 00:00:28,253 [SOBBING] 9 00:00:29,505 --> 00:00:33,550 -Maybe I should've gone with the shawl. -No, it's not the purse. 10 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,184 -Oh… -Although I do hate it. 11 00:00:37,262 --> 00:00:42,767 -I don't even know why I'm crying. -Oh, Roz, it's the pregnancy. 12 00:00:42,851 --> 00:00:45,186 A soup of hormones churns through your body, 13 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:48,773 and naturally, your emotions are rising and falling at the slightest provocation. 14 00:00:48,857 --> 00:00:50,317 That's idiotic. 15 00:00:51,735 --> 00:00:54,113 All right. Is there something going on? 16 00:00:54,197 --> 00:00:56,115 Last night was a disaster. 17 00:00:56,199 --> 00:00:58,326 Oh, right, your date. 18 00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:01,203 Yes, everything was going fine until he tried to order me a drink. 19 00:01:01,287 --> 00:01:03,372 But then I told him I was pregnant. 20 00:01:03,456 --> 00:01:05,625 You didn't tell him before the date? 21 00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:08,419 It's not the easiest thing to tell someone. 22 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:12,716 Besides, I was hoping my radiant glow would do the talking for me. 23 00:01:13,633 --> 00:01:17,053 Your glow? Oh, please, Roz, do you really think that… 24 00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:19,180 Anyone could miss your glow? 25 00:01:21,224 --> 00:01:25,228 So I tell him, and he says, "Fine, it's not a problem." 26 00:01:25,812 --> 00:01:28,356 Five minutes later he tells me his pager is vibrating. 27 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,691 He has an emergency. He has to go to work. 28 00:01:30,775 --> 00:01:34,125 -Well, maybe he was telling the truth. -He sells wicker furniture. 29 00:01:34,612 --> 00:01:38,491 Who needs their end tables re-caned at 9:30 at night? 30 00:01:38,575 --> 00:01:40,577 [SOBBING] 31 00:01:41,786 --> 00:01:43,037 Oh, Roz. 32 00:01:43,955 --> 00:01:48,334 Oh, God, Roz, Roz, look, I owe you an apology, Roz, it's not the hormones. 33 00:01:48,418 --> 00:01:50,961 You're embarking on a life-changing journey. 34 00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:53,422 Naturally, anybody would be emotional. 35 00:01:53,506 --> 00:01:56,759 For what it's worth, you're handling it beautifully. 36 00:01:56,843 --> 00:01:59,012 -Oh, thanks, Frasier. -Yeah. 37 00:02:00,138 --> 00:02:03,016 -I'm fine. I need to go back to work. -Right. 38 00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:08,396 My God, my pen is out of ink! 39 00:02:09,814 --> 00:02:12,734 Well, let's not discount the hormones altogether. I mean… 40 00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:21,117 FRASIER: Hello. I'd like to return this purse. 41 00:02:22,368 --> 00:02:24,370 Oh, I'm terribly sorry, 42 00:02:24,454 --> 00:02:27,498 but this was a sale item, and we have a no-return policy. 43 00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:30,501 -Your wife didn't like it? -Well, I'm not married. 44 00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:33,254 -Girlfriend? -No. No, no girlfriend, either. 45 00:02:33,338 --> 00:02:36,007 I don't have time to go into all my nonexistent relationships. 46 00:02:36,091 --> 00:02:37,467 It was a gift for a friend. 47 00:02:37,551 --> 00:02:38,469 Ah. 48 00:02:39,178 --> 00:02:44,099 Well, perhaps your friend would like to make it work with some matching shoes. 49 00:02:44,683 --> 00:02:46,519 We have up to size 13. 50 00:02:47,561 --> 00:02:49,146 This really was a gift, 51 00:02:49,230 --> 00:02:52,830 and I would thank you when you say the word "friend" not to italicize it. 52 00:02:54,443 --> 00:02:57,696 [CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me, sir, I couldn't help overhearing. 53 00:02:58,197 --> 00:03:01,597 -May I help you out here? -If you hold her down, I can do the rest. 54 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,370 Hopefully, that won't be necessary. 55 00:03:05,454 --> 00:03:06,330 Uh… 56 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:08,791 Uh, look, 57 00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:12,002 Jill, we're all reasonable people here. 58 00:03:12,086 --> 00:03:14,629 Why don't just give this gentleman a credit? 59 00:03:14,713 --> 00:03:16,465 Look, I don't make the rules. 60 00:03:16,549 --> 00:03:17,716 Yes. 61 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,594 But a shrewd saleswoman such as yourself 62 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:23,430 knows that this business isn't about rules. 63 00:03:23,514 --> 00:03:26,558 It's about relationships. Now, look at this man. 64 00:03:26,642 --> 00:03:29,060 Cultured, impeccably dressed, well-to-do. 65 00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:31,980 The sort of man you'd love to have a relationship with. 66 00:03:32,064 --> 00:03:35,358 There's only one thing standing in the way of that relationship. 67 00:03:35,442 --> 00:03:37,486 He's not happy with his purse. 68 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:38,821 It's not my purse. 69 00:03:40,364 --> 00:03:42,491 Maybe his purse was the wrong color. 70 00:03:42,575 --> 00:03:43,950 Maybe it didn't hold enough. 71 00:03:44,034 --> 00:03:45,119 It's not my purse. 72 00:03:45,995 --> 00:03:49,998 Now, if this man walks away unhappy, he may never shop here again. 73 00:03:50,082 --> 00:03:52,459 And who knows what he might have bought in the future? 74 00:03:52,543 --> 00:03:55,629 Scarves, gloves, hosiery. 75 00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:58,465 Now, the choice is yours, Jill. 76 00:03:58,549 --> 00:04:02,219 The commissions that come from a lifelong relationship 77 00:04:02,303 --> 00:04:07,224 or the hollow satisfaction of knowing you followed the rules. 78 00:04:08,517 --> 00:04:11,186 Okay. I'll go get the forms. 79 00:04:13,188 --> 00:04:14,564 Well, thank you. 80 00:04:14,648 --> 00:04:16,358 That was very impressive. 81 00:04:16,442 --> 00:04:20,196 You should see me return something hard, like a house or a kidney. 82 00:04:22,157 --> 00:04:24,283 -You see, the secret is persistence. -Ah. 83 00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,369 -Frasier Crane. -Samantha Pierce. 84 00:04:26,453 --> 00:04:27,829 -Sam. -Hi. 85 00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:30,373 -Are you Dr. Frasier Crane? -Yes, I am. 86 00:04:30,457 --> 00:04:34,168 Oh, your voice sounded familiar. For a while, I thought you were 87 00:04:34,252 --> 00:04:36,963 the "white zone is for loading and unloading only" guy. 88 00:04:37,923 --> 00:04:39,174 No, I get that a lot. 89 00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:44,053 Sam, listen, may I thank you by taking you to dinner tonight? 90 00:04:44,137 --> 00:04:45,638 That's very sweet of you, 91 00:04:45,722 --> 00:04:48,182 but I was just trying to be a Good Samaritan. 92 00:04:48,266 --> 00:04:50,685 -Oh. Well… -Well, thanks anyway. 93 00:04:50,769 --> 00:04:51,853 Oh, no, thank you. 94 00:04:52,437 --> 00:04:53,605 -Goodbye. -Bye. 95 00:04:54,606 --> 00:04:57,108 -Oh, Sam… -Okay, I'd love to go to dinner. 96 00:04:57,943 --> 00:04:59,193 Oh, that's wonderful. 97 00:04:59,277 --> 00:05:01,153 You see? Persistence pays off. 98 00:05:01,237 --> 00:05:03,364 I was gonna ask you to get my parking validated, 99 00:05:03,448 --> 00:05:05,283 but this works out well too. 100 00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:10,830 MAN [ON TV]: Forty-seven seconds left in this fourth quarter. 101 00:05:10,914 --> 00:05:13,333 The Seahawks cannot afford to flip the bar. 102 00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:21,466 -What are you doing? -Watching football with you. 103 00:05:23,927 --> 00:05:26,095 -What's the score? -Twenty-seven-20. 104 00:05:26,179 --> 00:05:27,055 Oh, great. 105 00:05:27,889 --> 00:05:30,389 -Wanna know who's winning? -Not particularly, no. 106 00:05:31,142 --> 00:05:34,270 Wow, someone has a special evening planned. 107 00:05:34,354 --> 00:05:38,357 Matter of fact, I do. What tipped you off, my self-confident air? 108 00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:39,692 No, your silver collar pin. 109 00:05:39,776 --> 00:05:42,528 -You wear it when you've got a hot date. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 110 00:05:42,612 --> 00:05:46,199 Good work getting all the tarnish off. It shined up nicely. 111 00:05:47,826 --> 00:05:48,951 Evening, Dr. Crane. 112 00:05:49,035 --> 00:05:50,036 Hello, Daphne. 113 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,246 -Dad, Frasier, ready to go? -FRASIER: Niles. 114 00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:54,832 -Give me a minute. -Well, actually, Niles, 115 00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:57,084 I can't make it to the boat show with you and Dad. 116 00:05:57,168 --> 00:06:00,379 -It'll just be the two of you. -Oh, too bad. 117 00:06:00,463 --> 00:06:02,423 -Maybe some other time. -FRASIER: Yeah. 118 00:06:02,507 --> 00:06:03,383 -Goodness. -What? 119 00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:04,843 It is a clear night. 120 00:06:04,927 --> 00:06:08,764 FRASIER: Ah. Yes. Yes. You know, it's been rather windy lately. 121 00:06:08,848 --> 00:06:10,933 -NILES: Just look at those stars. -FRASIER: Uh-huh. 122 00:06:11,017 --> 00:06:12,476 -Is that Orion? -Yes, I believe it is. 123 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,353 Uh-huh. What the hell are you doing? 124 00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:16,063 We have a mutual-support pact. 125 00:06:16,147 --> 00:06:18,148 When there's a Dad event, we're there for each other. 126 00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:21,318 Niles, I have a date with a spectacular woman. 127 00:06:21,402 --> 00:06:25,072 So what? I gave up Traviata tickets to support you at a tractor pull. 128 00:06:26,615 --> 00:06:30,327 Niles, we could stop at that medieval restaurant for dinner. 129 00:06:30,411 --> 00:06:32,204 Oh, sounds great, Dad. 130 00:06:34,623 --> 00:06:38,293 Daphne, would you be interested in using my ticket for the boat show? 131 00:06:38,377 --> 00:06:40,629 Oh, yes, that would be nice. 132 00:06:40,713 --> 00:06:43,163 -[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] -Very crafty. 133 00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:46,593 So who's the lucky lady? 134 00:06:46,677 --> 00:06:50,055 Well, her name is Samantha Pierce. We just met yesterday. 135 00:06:50,139 --> 00:06:52,266 She recognized me from my radio show and… 136 00:06:52,808 --> 00:06:56,062 Well, you know, in fact, when I asked her out, uh… 137 00:06:56,771 --> 00:06:58,355 I sensed a bit of shyness, 138 00:06:58,439 --> 00:07:01,858 which made me wonder if she was intimidated by my fame. 139 00:07:01,942 --> 00:07:04,111 -You say Samantha Pierce? -Yeah, Dad. 140 00:07:04,195 --> 00:07:06,321 -Blond hair? Blue eyes? -Right. How would you know? 141 00:07:06,405 --> 00:07:07,615 She's on Larry King. 142 00:07:09,575 --> 00:07:11,910 We're here with noted attorney Samantha Pierce. 143 00:07:11,994 --> 00:07:13,704 She's in Los Angeles to appear with us. 144 00:07:13,788 --> 00:07:17,958 Currently she's trying a case in Seattle defending the Butcher Knife Killer. 145 00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:20,377 Sam, I have to ask you this. 146 00:07:20,461 --> 00:07:22,212 Don't you think being in the public eye, 147 00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:24,673 dating some of the world's most famous men, 148 00:07:24,757 --> 00:07:27,009 affects the way jurors perceive you? 149 00:07:27,093 --> 00:07:30,929 Now, that's not really fair, Larry. I don't date public figures. 150 00:07:31,013 --> 00:07:33,807 What about the much-publicized relationship 151 00:07:33,891 --> 00:07:35,225 with Kevin Costner? 152 00:07:35,309 --> 00:07:37,227 SAM: Oh, that's just a rumor. 153 00:07:37,311 --> 00:07:39,730 -LARRY: George Stephanopoulos? -SAM: Just a rumor too. 154 00:07:39,814 --> 00:07:41,440 Brad Pitt is another rumor? 155 00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:43,942 Yeah. But I started that one. 156 00:07:44,026 --> 00:07:45,694 LARRY: So you said that men… 157 00:07:46,905 --> 00:07:49,908 I can see how she'd be intimidated by your fame. 158 00:07:56,957 --> 00:08:00,626 I thought her name sounded familiar. I must have read it in the newspaper. 159 00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:02,086 Congratulations, Fras. 160 00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:04,506 You're playing in the big leagues now. Yeah. 161 00:08:05,048 --> 00:08:09,803 Kevin Costner, Stephanopoulos, you. 162 00:08:11,596 --> 00:08:14,265 Don't let him shake your confidence. You'll be fine. 163 00:08:14,349 --> 00:08:17,769 Maybe she's had her fill of attractive men and is ready for a change. 164 00:08:21,231 --> 00:08:22,148 Aren't I lucky? 165 00:08:22,232 --> 00:08:25,610 Normally, a forest troll like me has to trick a woman to get a date. 166 00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:30,114 No. All I'm saying is, I once dated a man 167 00:08:30,198 --> 00:08:32,825 who had gone out with several of the top British actresses 168 00:08:32,909 --> 00:08:35,620 but got sick of their vanity and insecurity. 169 00:08:35,704 --> 00:08:38,122 Well, there, you see, it does happen. 170 00:08:38,206 --> 00:08:42,256 Of course, after he got through slumming, he dumped me and went back to actresses. 171 00:08:42,544 --> 00:08:45,838 But he did get me an autographed picture of Helena Bonham Carter. 172 00:08:45,922 --> 00:08:47,549 She's riding a pony. 173 00:08:54,973 --> 00:08:59,268 So Teddy Kennedy, Henry Kissinger and the Dalai Lama are all on this plane… 174 00:08:59,352 --> 00:09:00,853 Oh, wait, I think I've heard this joke. 175 00:09:00,937 --> 00:09:03,398 No, this really happened to me about a month ago. 176 00:09:05,650 --> 00:09:08,570 Well, don't I feel silly? I… 177 00:09:09,446 --> 00:09:12,240 Never mind, it's not a very good story anyway. 178 00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:16,286 -So how's your appetizer? -Oh. 179 00:09:17,454 --> 00:09:18,580 -Delicious. -Uh-huh. 180 00:09:19,164 --> 00:09:20,081 [CLEARS THROAT] 181 00:09:21,499 --> 00:09:22,583 Your salad? 182 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:23,793 Oh, it's very good. 183 00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:26,630 Actually, I haven't even tried it yet. 184 00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:30,551 Oh, mm. I was right. 185 00:09:33,638 --> 00:09:34,805 Um… [CLEARS THROAT] 186 00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:39,143 I hope this doesn't offend you, but I've had the most stressful day, 187 00:09:39,227 --> 00:09:41,937 and I really don't have the energy to make a lot of small talk. 188 00:09:42,021 --> 00:09:45,774 Plus, I'm not very hungry. Would you mind terribly if we just… 189 00:09:45,858 --> 00:09:49,111 Look, I know where this is headed. You don't have to say it. 190 00:09:49,195 --> 00:09:51,614 Could we just go someplace and have sex? 191 00:09:55,952 --> 00:09:57,453 That you did have to say. 192 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,790 I'm sorry. That sounded forward. I… 193 00:10:01,874 --> 00:10:04,424 But it's the only thing I really wanna do right now. 194 00:10:06,003 --> 00:10:11,092 Well, I'm flattered, and the thought is very tempting. 195 00:10:11,926 --> 00:10:13,969 But you see, on my show, I'm constantly preaching 196 00:10:14,053 --> 00:10:16,763 that people should get to know one another, uh, 197 00:10:16,847 --> 00:10:20,351 have things in common, before taking that kind of step. 198 00:10:22,103 --> 00:10:23,437 What's your favorite color? 199 00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:25,523 -Blue. -Mine too. Check, please. 200 00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:35,240 Ah, ahoy there, mateys. How was the boat show? 201 00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:36,617 Oh, it was wonderful. 202 00:10:36,701 --> 00:10:39,745 Yeah, they had this one great exhibit where you climb into this boat, 203 00:10:39,829 --> 00:10:42,915 you put on a life jacket, and they simulate what it's like 204 00:10:42,999 --> 00:10:45,334 to be caught out at sea in a hurricane. 205 00:10:51,674 --> 00:10:53,175 FRASIER: Good Lord, Niles. 206 00:10:53,259 --> 00:10:55,594 Why did you ever agree to go on a ride like that? 207 00:10:55,678 --> 00:10:57,930 I didn't. I dined at the snack bar. 208 00:11:01,642 --> 00:11:05,854 Well, I guess this wasn't a very hot night for you, huh? Home by 10:30? 209 00:11:05,938 --> 00:11:07,732 -Well… -SAM: Found my bra. 210 00:11:11,444 --> 00:11:12,361 Oh. 211 00:11:12,903 --> 00:11:15,615 -This is a little embarrassing. -FRASIER: Not at all. 212 00:11:15,699 --> 00:11:19,327 Sam, my brother Dr. Niles Crane, my father Martin Crane, 213 00:11:19,411 --> 00:11:21,287 -and his health-care worker Daphne Moon. -Hi. 214 00:11:21,371 --> 00:11:22,580 -Hello. -Nice to meet you. 215 00:11:22,664 --> 00:11:25,458 Yeah, I've been watching the trial on TV. It's fascinating. 216 00:11:25,542 --> 00:11:26,585 Oh. For us too. 217 00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:30,797 Well, I'd better get going. I have an early morning. 218 00:11:30,881 --> 00:11:32,715 -Right. -Lovely meeting all of you. 219 00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:33,758 -Likewise. -Yeah, bye. 220 00:11:33,842 --> 00:11:34,676 MARTIN: Bye. 221 00:11:36,136 --> 00:11:38,012 I had a wonderful evening. 222 00:11:38,096 --> 00:11:39,139 So did I. 223 00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:41,767 Good night. 224 00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:54,154 -Well, I'm off to bed. -Oh, no, no, no, not so fast, mister. 225 00:11:54,821 --> 00:11:58,574 I can tell by that goofy smile of yours that you're smitten with this woman. 226 00:11:58,658 --> 00:12:02,871 Thank you, Niles, but I am not some dewy-eyed teenager. 227 00:12:03,872 --> 00:12:05,957 She did say the cutest thing. She… 228 00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:11,004 She said murderers often show no remorse for their actions 229 00:12:11,088 --> 00:12:13,215 because they have no moral center. 230 00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:18,986 It was cute the way she said it. 231 00:12:24,351 --> 00:12:27,651 FRASIER: Now, I want you to taste this and tell me what you think. 232 00:12:29,064 --> 00:12:33,276 Mm. That is spectacular. Where did you learn how to do that? 233 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,363 Just something I picked up as a child at sauce camp. 234 00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:39,866 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 235 00:12:42,911 --> 00:12:43,953 Hello? 236 00:12:44,037 --> 00:12:45,121 What? 237 00:12:45,205 --> 00:12:46,456 When did this happen? 238 00:12:47,082 --> 00:12:49,292 Well, because we're expected to give full disclosure. 239 00:12:49,376 --> 00:12:50,836 Can't Brendan handle it? 240 00:12:51,753 --> 00:12:52,838 Oh, all right. 241 00:12:54,548 --> 00:12:57,092 I suppose you know what I'm about to say. 242 00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,676 You wanna skip dinner again and go straight to sex? 243 00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:05,309 I'm sorry, Frasier. I really am. 244 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,102 You went to all this trouble. 245 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,104 It's all right. 246 00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:10,356 You know fine French cooking. 247 00:13:11,232 --> 00:13:13,532 It's always better after a night in the fridge. 248 00:13:15,319 --> 00:13:17,905 Don't worry. We came back to get our umbrellas, then we're leaving. 249 00:13:17,989 --> 00:13:19,406 No, no, no, stay, stay. 250 00:13:19,490 --> 00:13:21,658 It's all right. I've been called back to work. 251 00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:23,994 It'd be a shame to let a good meal go to waste. 252 00:13:24,078 --> 00:13:26,413 Frasier's morel mushroom and tarragon sauce. 253 00:13:26,497 --> 00:13:27,915 Why, how did you know that? 254 00:13:27,999 --> 00:13:31,627 Niles has always been able to identify a sauce from a great distance. 255 00:13:32,462 --> 00:13:34,297 His mother and I were so proud. 256 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:42,513 If it's not too late, maybe I'll be able to come back over after. 257 00:13:42,597 --> 00:13:44,556 -Okay… -Either way, I'll call you. 258 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,975 That's what you said yesterday, but you forgot. 259 00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:48,894 I told you I was sorry about that. 260 00:13:48,978 --> 00:13:51,063 I promise, I'll call. 261 00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,905 What a shame. After you cooked that lovely meal. 262 00:13:59,989 --> 00:14:03,367 Yes, let me tell you, crown roast does not prepare itself. 263 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,916 You know, it's funny, as much as I care for this woman, 264 00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:14,879 something about this relationship leaves me vaguely unsettled. 265 00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:19,217 I might venture a theory at which you're sure to hoot. 266 00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:24,888 What may be making you uncomfortable is that for the first time, 267 00:14:24,972 --> 00:14:26,891 you find yourself in the more… 268 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,642 Submissive role. 269 00:14:28,726 --> 00:14:30,853 What on earth are you talking about? 270 00:14:31,521 --> 00:14:34,065 I think what he means is you're the girl. 271 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,361 NILES: Well, think about it. 272 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,532 How did you two first meet? She came to your rescue. 273 00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:45,243 Who initiated the first sexual encounter? She did. 274 00:14:45,327 --> 00:14:46,244 She did? 275 00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:49,289 Who's wearing the pants in this relationship? 276 00:14:49,373 --> 00:14:50,790 -My point exactly. -Fine. 277 00:14:50,874 --> 00:14:53,293 As much fun as it must be to spin out this little theory, 278 00:14:53,377 --> 00:14:54,919 it's entirely without foundation. 279 00:14:55,003 --> 00:14:57,153 -[TIMER DINGS] -There's my rosemary bread. 280 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,805 Look, if it's any consolation, I know what you're going through. 281 00:15:05,889 --> 00:15:08,475 Women have been putting up with it for generations. 282 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:10,768 Men say they'll call, and they don't. 283 00:15:10,852 --> 00:15:14,606 Or you get a few nice dinners and then the eventual booty call. 284 00:15:15,732 --> 00:15:17,526 I did not get a booty call. 285 00:15:20,237 --> 00:15:21,280 What's a booty call? 286 00:15:21,822 --> 00:15:26,493 It's a late-night call inviting you to meet, with the true goal of having sex. 287 00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,287 God, I did get a booty call. 288 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:30,788 MARTIN: if you ask me, 289 00:15:30,872 --> 00:15:34,022 you should nip this thing in the bud before it gets out of hand. 290 00:15:34,126 --> 00:15:37,795 I don't think we have to look beyond our own family to find an example 291 00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:40,298 of someone who let a woman run the show from the beginning 292 00:15:40,382 --> 00:15:42,634 and has been paying for it ever since. 293 00:15:43,135 --> 00:15:44,469 Poor Uncle Frank. 294 00:15:44,553 --> 00:15:45,929 [DOORBELL RINGS] 295 00:15:48,265 --> 00:15:50,808 I'm wasting my time fighting you people. 296 00:15:50,892 --> 00:15:53,269 You take the tiniest detail from my relationship with Sam 297 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:55,731 and twist it to support your ridiculous theory. 298 00:15:56,773 --> 00:15:59,817 I saw a guy selling these. I thought they might cheer you up. 299 00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:01,987 Oh, Sam, they're beautiful. 300 00:16:03,071 --> 00:16:04,971 -You are so… -Oh. Really gotta run. 301 00:16:07,659 --> 00:16:08,952 [DOOR CLOSES] 302 00:16:10,287 --> 00:16:12,664 Now you're gonna read something into this! 303 00:16:18,795 --> 00:16:21,923 -[ELEGANT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] -Oh, God, I really love that tie. 304 00:16:22,007 --> 00:16:23,675 You should. You sent it to me. 305 00:16:24,177 --> 00:16:25,386 Oh, yeah, right. 306 00:16:27,096 --> 00:16:29,139 You had your secretary pick it out, didn't you? 307 00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:31,934 Only because he has better taste than I do. 308 00:16:33,478 --> 00:16:35,020 Don't worry about tonight. 309 00:16:35,104 --> 00:16:37,398 -I know how boring lawyer parties are. -Hmm. 310 00:16:37,482 --> 00:16:39,483 We won't stay a minute longer than we have to. 311 00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,151 -Sam. -Oh. 312 00:16:41,235 --> 00:16:43,988 I'd like you to meet our senior partner Daniel Gill. 313 00:16:44,072 --> 00:16:46,865 Hi, how are you? Sam, they're ready for us on that conference call. 314 00:16:46,949 --> 00:16:49,369 -Oh, right. We'll just take a minute. -Mm-hmm. 315 00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,418 You're new. 316 00:16:58,002 --> 00:17:00,921 -Oh, I'm Frasier. -I'm Jennifer, Stewart's wife. 317 00:17:01,005 --> 00:17:03,215 -Hello. -This is Cindy Dolce. 318 00:17:03,299 --> 00:17:05,134 -She's married to Bob. -Nice to meet you. 319 00:17:05,218 --> 00:17:07,386 -Terri Bailey. She's living with Ed. -Hello, Terri. 320 00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:11,390 And Vanessa Saint-Claire, soon to be Mrs. Irving Lumpowsky. 321 00:17:11,474 --> 00:17:12,600 Well, good heavens. 322 00:17:13,142 --> 00:17:16,103 How long have you and Sam been seeing each other? 323 00:17:16,187 --> 00:17:18,188 Well, just about three weeks. 324 00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:20,316 We haven't been able to get much time together. 325 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,484 She assures me that'll change as soon as… 326 00:17:22,568 --> 00:17:23,903 ALL: The trial's over. 327 00:17:28,157 --> 00:17:30,451 Oh, there's always another trial. 328 00:17:30,535 --> 00:17:32,453 But you'll get used to the life. 329 00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:35,080 Dates getting canceled, dinners left uneaten. 330 00:17:35,164 --> 00:17:38,083 But at least you'll get sent plenty of flowers. 331 00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:40,377 Oh, Jennifer, he's a man. 332 00:17:40,461 --> 00:17:42,004 He won't get flowers. 333 00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:47,926 Oh, uh, Sam, Sam, could I have a word with you in private? 334 00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:48,845 Sure. 335 00:17:51,389 --> 00:17:52,640 Is there something wrong? 336 00:17:52,724 --> 00:17:55,851 Well, I know it's not the best time to bring this up, 337 00:17:55,935 --> 00:17:59,188 but lately I've been feeling an uneasiness about this relationship. 338 00:17:59,272 --> 00:18:00,939 -What do you mean? -Well, uh… 339 00:18:01,023 --> 00:18:05,069 Look, I'm not one to get bogged down in male-female role playing. 340 00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:08,949 It's just that lately, well… 341 00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:12,369 Take our first date. We'd barely begun dinner 342 00:18:12,453 --> 00:18:15,497 when you suggested that we run off and go to bed together. Well, I… 343 00:18:15,581 --> 00:18:17,332 Traditionally, that is… 344 00:18:20,043 --> 00:18:22,796 Well, every man's dream. Bad example. Um… 345 00:18:25,382 --> 00:18:28,593 But there's the way that you cancel dates all the time. 346 00:18:28,677 --> 00:18:32,430 You say you'll call and you don't call. You have your secretary send me a gift. 347 00:18:32,514 --> 00:18:36,310 And when I get upset, you think you can buy me off with flowers. 348 00:18:38,061 --> 00:18:41,607 Is that it? That's what you dragged me out here for? 349 00:18:42,274 --> 00:18:45,443 I'm in the middle of the most intense case of my entire career. 350 00:18:45,527 --> 00:18:48,947 A man's life hangs in the balance, and you're whining about flowers? 351 00:18:49,031 --> 00:18:50,782 "Whining" is a little strong. 352 00:18:50,866 --> 00:18:54,202 Well, tell me what you mean, Frasier. 353 00:18:54,286 --> 00:18:56,913 I mean, if you're the one who has to work late hours 354 00:18:56,997 --> 00:18:59,332 and is breaking all the dates, is sending flowers and gifts, 355 00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:01,835 -would that be okay? -No, that's not it. 356 00:19:01,919 --> 00:19:05,422 Well, good God, you're a psychiatrist. Shouldn't you be above all of this? 357 00:19:05,506 --> 00:19:08,341 Look, I'm just telling you how I feel. Now you're yelling at me. 358 00:19:08,425 --> 00:19:10,635 [SCOFFS] Just tell me what you want, Frasier. 359 00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:13,304 Do you wanna be the traditional man, and I'll be the put-upon woman? 360 00:19:13,388 --> 00:19:15,057 No, no, that's not what I want. 361 00:19:16,517 --> 00:19:17,476 [SIGHS] 362 00:19:18,477 --> 00:19:23,357 I just wish we could have a relationship where… neither one of us is the man. 363 00:19:23,941 --> 00:19:28,362 So that would make us, what, a lesbian couple? 364 00:19:30,489 --> 00:19:31,698 They're very in now. 365 00:19:34,701 --> 00:19:38,621 Oh, Frasier, I know, I know no one likes being stood up. 366 00:19:38,705 --> 00:19:41,750 I… I'll try to be more understanding. 367 00:19:41,834 --> 00:19:42,668 And I'll… 368 00:19:43,794 --> 00:19:45,921 I'll try to stop being so damn emotional. 369 00:19:48,382 --> 00:19:50,049 I'm glad we had this little talk, 370 00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:52,845 because I was about to make a very big mistake. 371 00:19:52,929 --> 00:19:53,763 What? 372 00:19:54,347 --> 00:19:56,849 The other day, when we were in the store, 373 00:19:56,933 --> 00:20:00,019 you mentioned that you liked something, and, well, typical me, 374 00:20:00,103 --> 00:20:01,812 I ran right out and bought it. 375 00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,899 Oh. Well, we certainly dodged a bullet there, didn't we? 376 00:20:05,733 --> 00:20:07,485 So, what was it? 377 00:20:09,487 --> 00:20:10,446 This. 378 00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,202 And you bought this for me? 379 00:20:17,537 --> 00:20:20,915 You know, I'm really rather embarrassed, Frasier. 380 00:20:20,999 --> 00:20:22,125 You were right. 381 00:20:23,459 --> 00:20:27,588 I take relationships for granted, and then I just run right off to Cartier 382 00:20:27,672 --> 00:20:29,632 and buy an expensive gift to make up for it. 383 00:20:29,716 --> 00:20:30,967 Cartier? Oh… 384 00:20:31,676 --> 00:20:34,428 I'll return it. I know how strongly you feel. 385 00:20:34,512 --> 00:20:39,434 Well… you know, maybe I've just been a bit self-absorbed lately. 386 00:20:40,018 --> 00:20:43,437 You're the kind of a person who likes to express their affection 387 00:20:43,521 --> 00:20:44,855 by buying gifts. 388 00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:47,191 I mean, who am I to stand in your way? 389 00:20:48,526 --> 00:20:49,485 So… 390 00:20:50,737 --> 00:20:51,696 All right. 391 00:20:53,156 --> 00:20:54,073 It's lovely. 392 00:20:56,075 --> 00:20:58,786 No, Frasier, I… It isn't about the gifts. 393 00:20:58,870 --> 00:21:02,623 I give gifts because I can never think of the right words… 394 00:21:02,707 --> 00:21:04,407 Is this what you're trying to say? 395 00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:12,675 Very well put. 396 00:21:15,762 --> 00:21:18,305 What do you say we get out of here? I'll go get our coats. 397 00:21:18,389 --> 00:21:22,185 -No, no, I will get our coats. -You don't know where they are. 398 00:21:22,936 --> 00:21:24,354 All right. You get them. 399 00:21:27,482 --> 00:21:29,775 I'm so bored. What time is it? 400 00:21:29,859 --> 00:21:32,319 Time? Well, let's just have a look. 401 00:21:32,403 --> 00:21:33,320 [WOMEN GASP] 402 00:21:33,404 --> 00:21:36,616 -My goodness. It's magnificent! -Isn't it fabulous? It's Cartier. 403 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,243 Sam gave it to me just now. 404 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,163 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 405 00:21:42,247 --> 00:21:44,656 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 406 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,835 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 407 00:21:47,503 --> 00:21:48,545 Mercy. 408 00:21:49,088 --> 00:21:51,527 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 409 00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:54,050 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 410 00:21:54,134 --> 00:21:56,303 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 411 00:21:56,387 --> 00:21:57,929 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 412 00:21:58,013 --> 00:22:01,308 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 413 00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:04,895 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 414 00:22:04,979 --> 00:22:06,939 Good night, Seattle! We love you!