1 00:00:02,088 --> 00:00:04,091 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 2 00:00:10,181 --> 00:00:11,849 Well, that's our show for today. 3 00:00:11,933 --> 00:00:14,019 But before we close, I'd like to invite you all 4 00:00:14,103 --> 00:00:17,355 to join us here at KACL in wishing a fond farewell 5 00:00:17,439 --> 00:00:23,029 to our Happy Chef, Leo Pascale, as he bubble-wraps his crepe pan 6 00:00:23,113 --> 00:00:25,700 and heads south towards sunny Santa Fe. 7 00:00:26,075 --> 00:00:30,413 Leo, you stirred us with your passion, 8 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:34,375 melted us with your charm, added spice to our lives. 9 00:00:34,459 --> 00:00:37,213 Now, as you whisk yourself away 10 00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:42,845 let's not say goodbye, but rather tartare for now. 11 00:00:45,431 --> 00:00:48,976 This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL 780. 12 00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:52,898 Well, at least you stopped short of saying, "I'll be fricasseeing you." 13 00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:55,943 You ready to go to Leo's party? 14 00:00:56,027 --> 00:00:58,238 Oh, dear God, there is nothing I detest more 15 00:00:58,322 --> 00:01:00,740 than a KACL goodbye party. 16 00:01:00,824 --> 00:01:02,326 They're all the same. 17 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,663 Twist-top wine and a bunch of people standing around awkwardly, 18 00:01:05,747 --> 00:01:08,708 trying to summon up some affection for someone they hardly even know. 19 00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,794 It always ends up reeking of insincerity. 20 00:01:10,878 --> 00:01:14,341 What are we gonna do, Doc? He's leaving us. 21 00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:18,387 -Bulldog and Leo were tight. -Well, Bulldog certainly is. 22 00:01:19,930 --> 00:01:24,060 I love that guy, man. He'd give me all his leftovers. 23 00:01:24,144 --> 00:01:27,522 I warned Leo, you keep feeding him, he'll keep coming back. 24 00:01:27,606 --> 00:01:30,401 -Are you going to the party? -Actually, I think I'm gonna pass. 25 00:01:30,485 --> 00:01:33,195 Come on. Doc, you gotta at least have a drink, give him a hug. 26 00:01:33,279 --> 00:01:35,073 That is precisely what I'm trying to avoid. 27 00:01:35,157 --> 00:01:36,908 When did we become a society of huggers? 28 00:01:36,992 --> 00:01:40,454 Oh, we hug for everything nowadays. I mean, "Hello." Hug. 29 00:01:40,538 --> 00:01:43,583 "Congratulations." Hug. "Nice haircut." Hug. 30 00:01:44,209 --> 00:01:45,502 It's absurd. 31 00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:48,171 I mean, if we want to express some real emotion for someone, 32 00:01:48,255 --> 00:01:50,424 -where is there left to go? -I've had good luck 33 00:01:50,508 --> 00:01:52,219 with the storage closet. 34 00:01:53,553 --> 00:01:55,680 You know, I think you're way too uptight about this. 35 00:01:55,764 --> 00:01:57,224 No, no, no, I see the doc's point. 36 00:01:57,308 --> 00:01:59,508 We all have different ways of saying goodbye. 37 00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:04,900 Me, I prefer this method. [HONKS HORN] Get out! Come on! I got a show to do. 38 00:02:06,485 --> 00:02:08,654 Well, I think hugging is very healthy. 39 00:02:08,738 --> 00:02:11,240 I read somewhere that if you have physical contact 40 00:02:11,324 --> 00:02:14,369 on a regular basis, it can actually extend your life. 41 00:02:14,453 --> 00:02:17,039 Well, in that case, you should outlive Styrofoam. 42 00:02:22,295 --> 00:02:25,341 -Frasier, you made it. -Well, Leo, you know I wouldn't miss 43 00:02:25,425 --> 00:02:30,472 -saying goodbye to you for the world. -We're gonna miss you so much. 44 00:02:30,556 --> 00:02:33,600 We sure are. Oh, what the heck. 45 00:02:36,354 --> 00:02:39,650 You have no idea how hard this is for me. 46 00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:50,246 FRASIER: Thank you. 47 00:02:51,247 --> 00:02:53,791 I must say, Niles, that is a striking tie you're wearing. 48 00:02:53,875 --> 00:02:55,752 Thank you. It was a gift from Maris. 49 00:02:55,836 --> 00:02:57,754 She had it made for me to commemorate the end 50 00:02:57,838 --> 00:02:59,923 of that dreadful winter she had her obesity scare. 51 00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:02,010 Oh, yes. 52 00:03:02,802 --> 00:03:05,596 I remember her struggle to lose that holiday pound. 53 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,767 NILES: Mm-hmm. Yes. 54 00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:12,980 After she'd restored her figure, she had Yoshi set fire 55 00:03:13,064 --> 00:03:15,942 to a hippopotamus topiary she felt had taunted her. 56 00:03:16,026 --> 00:03:17,611 Yeah. 57 00:03:17,695 --> 00:03:20,114 Then, as a visual reminder never to let herself go again, 58 00:03:20,198 --> 00:03:23,911 she had this tie made for me out of the legs of her fat pants. Thank you. 59 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:28,332 You know, I would think wearing a tie that Maris gave you 60 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,835 might make you feel a little bit melancholy. 61 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:34,089 On the contrary. I have every reason to believe Maris and I 62 00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:36,550 -may be on the road to reconciliation. -Really? 63 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,218 -We met for lunch today. -Mm-hm. 64 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,763 I told her I couldn't stand being in separation limbo any more, 65 00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:42,682 and unless she wanted the marriage to end, 66 00:03:42,766 --> 00:03:45,519 -we simply had to get into counseling. -And she agreed? 67 00:03:45,603 --> 00:03:48,480 Her exact words were "I'll think about it," 68 00:03:48,564 --> 00:03:50,900 but I saw a twinkle in her eye I have not seen 69 00:03:50,984 --> 00:03:54,905 since the neighbor children discovered our new electric fence. 70 00:03:56,449 --> 00:03:58,493 -Congratulations. -Thank you. 71 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:02,706 -The foam is a tad listless today. -Yes. I can tell without looking 72 00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:05,292 they've got Chad back on steamer duty. 73 00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:07,879 You are good. 74 00:04:07,963 --> 00:04:11,258 -Excuse me, Dr. Niles Crane? -I am. 75 00:04:11,342 --> 00:04:12,802 -Here. -Oh. 76 00:04:14,136 --> 00:04:15,804 Who's sending me this? 77 00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:18,308 "Notice. Petition… 78 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:21,353 -For divorce." -Sorry, man. Cool tie. 79 00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:28,612 -I don't know what to say. -Oh… It's all right. 80 00:04:28,696 --> 00:04:33,034 Would have been nice if we'd given therapy a try, but so be it. 81 00:04:33,118 --> 00:04:35,244 It's little consolation, but you're to be applauded 82 00:04:35,328 --> 00:04:37,663 for how you're handling this. A lesser man would panic. 83 00:04:37,747 --> 00:04:39,747 Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'll get her back. 84 00:04:41,335 --> 00:04:43,337 You have too much dignity to let yourself beg. 85 00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:45,924 Please give me my phone back. Please. Please. 86 00:04:46,008 --> 00:04:47,801 Stop. Stop. Stop it! 87 00:04:48,552 --> 00:04:50,513 Listen, I know you're upset now, but remember 88 00:04:50,597 --> 00:04:53,474 why you left Maris in the first place. You were tired of groveling. 89 00:04:53,558 --> 00:04:55,144 Yes, but I'm rested now. 90 00:04:58,105 --> 00:04:59,398 Fine. 91 00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:02,276 Go ahead and toddle on back to Maris. 92 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,821 Let her grind you under her boot heel for another 12 years, 93 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,990 rob you of whatever self-respect you've retained. 94 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,577 Then we can have this conversation all over again! 95 00:05:11,246 --> 00:05:14,041 -I was unhappy, wasn't I? -You were miserable. 96 00:05:16,461 --> 00:05:17,587 I'm sorry. 97 00:05:18,546 --> 00:05:23,427 It's just a lot to take in. Twelve years of my life, gone. 98 00:05:24,136 --> 00:05:27,598 Oh, don't think of it as a loss, but rather an opportunity for growth. 99 00:05:27,682 --> 00:05:30,059 -It's not an ending, it's… -Frasier. 100 00:05:30,143 --> 00:05:32,396 No offense, but I'm familiar with all the platitudes. 101 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:36,316 I've just been served divorce papers. I need a little time to let it sink in. 102 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,153 If you don't mind, maybe we could not talk about it for a while. 103 00:05:39,237 --> 00:05:41,531 -Of course. -Hi. Can I get you guys anything? 104 00:05:41,615 --> 00:05:43,868 No, thank you. We've already been served. 105 00:05:48,039 --> 00:05:48,874 Sorry. 106 00:05:55,507 --> 00:05:56,841 [DOOR HANDLE RATTLING] 107 00:05:59,428 --> 00:06:02,180 -Oh, you're back. -Yeah, I never should have left. 108 00:06:02,264 --> 00:06:04,182 The park was a disaster. 109 00:06:04,266 --> 00:06:07,729 You remember that outfit Mrs. Foster knitted Eddie for Christmas? 110 00:06:07,813 --> 00:06:09,439 Well, I bumped into her in the lobby, 111 00:06:09,523 --> 00:06:11,483 and she said she was gonna be going to the park. 112 00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:13,903 And I thought it would be rude if I didn't at least have him 113 00:06:13,987 --> 00:06:15,698 wear it one time, you know? 114 00:06:16,156 --> 00:06:18,075 Eddie, get in here. 115 00:06:26,335 --> 00:06:29,505 Look at the poor guy. He's humiliated. 116 00:06:30,506 --> 00:06:32,467 And then, of course, she didn't even show up. 117 00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:36,095 But you know who was there? Duke. And two guys from the old precinct. 118 00:06:36,179 --> 00:06:39,016 "Glad to see you've got something to do, now that you're retired." 119 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:42,563 "Hey, Marty, if I buy you some wool, would you knit something for me?" 120 00:06:43,647 --> 00:06:45,106 Well, it could have been worse. 121 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,790 You could have been wearing the hat she made for you. 122 00:06:48,486 --> 00:06:50,530 Oh, dear. 123 00:06:51,489 --> 00:06:54,368 Would you take that off him? He just looks so pathetic. 124 00:06:54,744 --> 00:06:56,995 Oh, come here, you poor little fella. 125 00:06:57,079 --> 00:06:58,831 -What's in the box? -Oh, nothing. 126 00:06:58,915 --> 00:07:01,376 Just some old stuff I was taking down to the storage bin. 127 00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:04,755 -Great. Why don't you take this with it. -Yeah, just set that on top. 128 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,591 No, no, it'll fall off if I do. 129 00:07:07,675 --> 00:07:10,178 Hey, this is my stuff. 130 00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:12,389 -It's a box of junk. -It's not junk. 131 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:16,477 Oh, rubbish. It's a bunch of useless gadgets you haven't used in years. 132 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:21,191 Like this remote control to God knows what. Useless. 133 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,068 Just like this, whatever it is. 134 00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:27,657 That's a Steam Master 2000, like on TV. "Live life wrinkle-free." 135 00:07:27,741 --> 00:07:31,370 It even comes with an attachment that cooks Chinese vegetables. 136 00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:33,622 [DOORBELL RINGS] 137 00:07:33,706 --> 00:07:36,543 It's Niles. I'm taking him to lunch to get his mind off his troubles. 138 00:07:36,627 --> 00:07:39,921 -Something we shouldn't talk about? -No reason we shouldn't talk about it. 139 00:07:40,005 --> 00:07:42,675 I don't think he's ready to talk about it, so we're not. 140 00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:46,012 NILES: Would you mind not talking about it a little less loudly? 141 00:07:48,974 --> 00:07:50,809 -Niles. -Afternoon, all. 142 00:07:50,893 --> 00:07:52,185 -Hello, Dr. Crane. -Hi, Niles. 143 00:07:52,269 --> 00:07:56,274 I appreciate your concern, but I'm really doing quite well with all of this. 144 00:07:56,358 --> 00:07:58,444 -Everything's gonna be fine. -MARTIN: That's good. 145 00:07:58,528 --> 00:08:00,279 I just hope you got a good divorce lawyer. 146 00:08:00,363 --> 00:08:02,531 You've been married a long time, you gotta make sure 147 00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:03,742 you get your fair share. 148 00:08:03,826 --> 00:08:06,286 Well, according to the terms of our prenuptial agreement, 149 00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:08,247 I believe I'm wearing my fair share. 150 00:08:09,332 --> 00:08:10,875 Well, take a tip from your old man. 151 00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:12,460 You get over there and take possession 152 00:08:12,544 --> 00:08:16,006 of your personal belongings before they box them up and toss them out. 153 00:08:16,090 --> 00:08:19,051 When will you just admit that this junk belongs in a dustbin? 154 00:08:19,135 --> 00:08:21,804 You know, I was on a case once where the wife constantly nagged 155 00:08:21,888 --> 00:08:24,474 the husband like this. "You never put anything in the garbage. 156 00:08:24,558 --> 00:08:26,185 Why don't you put anything in the garbage?" 157 00:08:26,269 --> 00:08:29,919 -Well, he should've listened to her. -He did. That's where we found her. 158 00:08:33,569 --> 00:08:37,469 You know, I think Daphne's fighting an uphill battle with this project of hers. 159 00:08:39,742 --> 00:08:41,579 -What's that? -It's a journal. 160 00:08:42,413 --> 00:08:43,581 Look at this. 161 00:08:45,332 --> 00:08:46,959 Isn't that Mother's handwriting? 162 00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:50,297 These must be notes from one of her research projects. 163 00:08:52,007 --> 00:08:55,886 "It's hard to imagine two male siblings who could be more different 164 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,429 than Frasier and Niles." 165 00:08:57,513 --> 00:08:59,432 Good heavens, it's about us. 166 00:08:59,516 --> 00:09:01,184 "Though both are highly intelligent, 167 00:09:01,268 --> 00:09:03,270 "Frasier is clearly the more dominant of the two," 168 00:09:03,354 --> 00:09:06,399 while Niles remains extremely passive." Fascinating. 169 00:09:09,028 --> 00:09:11,947 "Frasier never seems to get enough at mealtime. 170 00:09:12,031 --> 00:09:14,075 "He's nearly twice the size of Niles, and often," 171 00:09:14,159 --> 00:09:17,204 when he thinks I'm not looking, steals his brother's food." 172 00:09:20,666 --> 00:09:23,502 "What Niles lacks in assertiveness, he makes up for 173 00:09:23,586 --> 00:09:26,840 in an abnormally fussy grooming regimen." 174 00:09:29,343 --> 00:09:32,429 "Frasier is exhibiting clearly antisocial tendencies. 175 00:09:32,513 --> 00:09:35,057 "In fact, he is extremely uncomfortable with touch," 176 00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:37,227 seeming to recoil from all human contact." 177 00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:38,478 Where does it say that? 178 00:09:38,562 --> 00:09:41,162 All right, I added "extremely," but it's right there. 179 00:09:43,193 --> 00:09:44,319 Good Lord. 180 00:09:45,278 --> 00:09:47,072 This cuts rather close to the bone. 181 00:09:47,156 --> 00:09:50,075 Just yesterday Roz was accusing me of the same thing. 182 00:09:50,159 --> 00:09:53,872 I always thought it was just an aversion to social hugging, 183 00:09:53,956 --> 00:09:55,956 but apparently it goes deeper than that. 184 00:09:56,875 --> 00:10:00,421 You know, maybe this is something I should work on. What do you think? 185 00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:05,177 Niles. 186 00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:09,807 "April 3rd. Niles remains as docile as ever. 187 00:10:09,891 --> 00:10:12,727 "He constantly allows himself to be cowed and dominated," 188 00:10:12,811 --> 00:10:14,897 especially by females." 189 00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:19,444 Well, you shouldn't let that upset you. You've broken that pattern. 190 00:10:19,528 --> 00:10:23,364 You could've knuckled under and gone groveling back to Maris, but you didn't. 191 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:27,829 You know, Niles, I don't think I've ever been more proud of you. 192 00:10:34,879 --> 00:10:37,757 -Oh, Frasier, this is awful. -Well, pardon me for trying. 193 00:10:37,841 --> 00:10:39,759 I am new at it. 194 00:10:40,344 --> 00:10:43,222 No, no, no, you don't understand. I did go groveling back. 195 00:10:43,306 --> 00:10:44,389 What? 196 00:10:44,473 --> 00:10:46,476 I sent the divorce papers back unsigned, 197 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,770 along with a letter begging her to take me back. 198 00:10:48,854 --> 00:10:50,396 -Oh, Niles, you didn't. -Of course I did. 199 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,358 You read the journal. It's who I am. 200 00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:56,153 -Well, how did she respond? -Well, she hasn't yet. 201 00:10:56,237 --> 00:10:57,989 I just messengered it to her this morning. 202 00:10:58,073 --> 00:11:00,326 It's her spa day. She won't be home until… 203 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,790 I still have time to get that letter back. 204 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,252 -I'm going with you. -You're a good brother. 205 00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:10,712 This may be my last chance to prove once and for all 206 00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,546 that I'm not the sort of man who… 207 00:11:12,924 --> 00:11:14,050 Whatever Mother said. 208 00:11:14,134 --> 00:11:17,262 Constantly allows himself to be cowed and dominated, especially by females. 209 00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:20,224 -I might've known you'd memorize it. -I'm sorry. 210 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,603 You're right, that was harsh. Come here. 211 00:11:23,687 --> 00:11:25,230 Oh, get away from me. 212 00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:36,368 FRASIER: I'm still uneasy about this. What if one of the servants sees us? 213 00:11:36,452 --> 00:11:39,831 Impossible. They always use Maris' spa day to play hooky. 214 00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:42,292 I just hope she hasn't changed the locks. 215 00:11:45,045 --> 00:11:46,422 What do you know? 216 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,259 You know, this is sort of exciting. 217 00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,680 Even as a child, I always fancied I might make 218 00:11:53,764 --> 00:11:56,475 a first-rate society cat burglar. I think I'm right. 219 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:01,272 Yes. All it takes is stealth, cunning and a key to the door. 220 00:12:04,318 --> 00:12:07,572 The letter should be over here with the rest of Maris' unopened mail. 221 00:12:07,656 --> 00:12:09,615 Yeah, there it is. Let's go. 222 00:12:09,699 --> 00:12:11,284 [DOGS BARKING] 223 00:12:12,161 --> 00:12:16,957 Frasier, look, it's my puppies. Oh, I've missed you. 224 00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,711 Hello, Gestalt. Hello, Gerhardt. 225 00:12:21,463 --> 00:12:23,299 Don't they look just a bit agitated to you? 226 00:12:23,383 --> 00:12:26,969 Well, that's because they're excited to see the lord has returned to the manor. 227 00:12:27,053 --> 00:12:28,764 Hello, boys. 228 00:12:30,558 --> 00:12:34,270 Oh, my God. She hasn't changed the locks, she changed the dogs. 229 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:37,023 -Maybe we can make it to the front. -Right. 230 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,529 [BARKING] 231 00:12:42,613 --> 00:12:43,948 [DOOR SLAMS] 232 00:12:50,039 --> 00:12:53,042 -They're toying with us. -What are we going to do? 233 00:12:53,126 --> 00:12:54,919 Well, I guess we're just gonna have to wait 234 00:12:55,003 --> 00:12:57,756 until Lady Baskerville comes back from the spa! 235 00:12:58,549 --> 00:13:00,259 And explain our presence how? 236 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,179 Oh. I do see your point. 237 00:13:03,263 --> 00:13:06,713 We have to find some way to distract those beasts and make our escape. 238 00:13:09,729 --> 00:13:13,149 Wait. Tuesday is Swedish meatball night for the staff. 239 00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:14,984 Cook always keeps them in the refrigerator. 240 00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:17,780 No, we can't feed them raw meat. It'll stimulate their blood lust. 241 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,741 Listen. One of our old dogs used to be spooked by thunderstorms. 242 00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:23,078 The vet told us half of one of Maris' green pills 243 00:13:23,162 --> 00:13:25,330 would allow him to sleep safely through the storm. 244 00:13:25,414 --> 00:13:28,459 -You get the meat, I'll get the pills. -Right. Wait. 245 00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:30,086 What if Maris is out of pills? 246 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,796 [LAUGHING] 247 00:13:33,382 --> 00:13:36,219 -Oh, I see. -Thank you, Frasier, I needed that. 248 00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:46,564 Niles, that's three meatballs in a row right in the koi pond. 249 00:13:46,981 --> 00:13:49,693 Stop trying to throw! 250 00:13:49,777 --> 00:13:53,989 Just drop them. You can drop straight, can't you? 251 00:13:55,659 --> 00:13:58,870 -Was that a splat or a splash? -A splat! 252 00:13:58,954 --> 00:14:00,414 Do it again. 253 00:14:01,499 --> 00:14:04,251 Excellent, they're eating it. All right, that's enough. 254 00:14:04,335 --> 00:14:06,922 Good boys. Yeah, that's right. Eat hardy. 255 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:10,592 Oh, you missed one. Right over there in the garden by the tulips. 256 00:14:10,676 --> 00:14:13,846 Oh, there's a few more there in the koi pond, next to the… 257 00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:15,765 Sleeping koi. 258 00:14:25,527 --> 00:14:26,987 Niles. 259 00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:30,199 This painting here in the living room. You've always had this? 260 00:14:30,283 --> 00:14:31,950 NILES: The one of Maris and me in the garden? 261 00:14:32,034 --> 00:14:33,953 It was commissioned on our third anniversary. 262 00:14:34,037 --> 00:14:37,165 It must be a different painting. This is Maris next to a really big tree. 263 00:14:37,249 --> 00:14:39,460 No, there's no tree in that painting. It's… 264 00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:42,922 Oh, my God. 265 00:14:43,006 --> 00:14:45,634 She's had me completely painted out. 266 00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,889 I don't think I can take much more of this. 267 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,266 Well, in that case, I wouldn't look too closely 268 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,062 at the face of that skunk in the flowerbed. 269 00:15:03,447 --> 00:15:05,491 Well, I suppose it's only fitting 270 00:15:05,575 --> 00:15:09,036 that I be commemorated in this household as a laughingstock. 271 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,206 She's always run roughshod over me. 272 00:15:11,999 --> 00:15:15,962 Look around. This entire room is a monument to my spinelessness. 273 00:15:16,046 --> 00:15:18,673 -How so? -Well… 274 00:15:18,757 --> 00:15:20,258 This Dresden shepherdess? 275 00:15:20,342 --> 00:15:22,761 A peace offering I made to Maris when I was foolish enough 276 00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:25,764 to point out an extra syllable in a haiku she'd written. 277 00:15:25,848 --> 00:15:27,893 Choose another item. Anything. 278 00:15:28,477 --> 00:15:31,229 -Oh, that candelabra. -Louis Quatorze. 279 00:15:31,313 --> 00:15:32,773 What better way to apologize 280 00:15:32,857 --> 00:15:35,568 for the time I attempted to grow a mustache? 281 00:15:35,652 --> 00:15:38,030 I think you owe us all a candelabra for that. 282 00:15:39,281 --> 00:15:42,952 Niles, look, it seems to be working. The dogs are getting drowsy. 283 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:47,748 You know, if just once Maris had given in, in all those years, 284 00:15:47,832 --> 00:15:49,835 I might think there was hope for our marriage. 285 00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:52,004 But she never budged an inch. 286 00:15:52,088 --> 00:15:54,424 Even on those rare occasions when I reported back to you 287 00:15:54,508 --> 00:15:56,301 that I had prevailed… 288 00:15:56,385 --> 00:15:58,553 -I knew. -Yeah. 289 00:15:58,637 --> 00:16:00,681 I don't know why I thought I could convince her 290 00:16:00,765 --> 00:16:03,309 with that couples-therapy idea. 291 00:16:05,938 --> 00:16:06,855 Well… 292 00:16:07,731 --> 00:16:10,318 I'm not going to be her whipping boy anymore. 293 00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:11,820 What are you doing? 294 00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:13,912 I'm signing the divorce papers. 295 00:16:14,197 --> 00:16:17,075 If she wants to initiate proceedings, let's proceed. 296 00:16:17,159 --> 00:16:21,707 Niles, you know I'll support any decision you make, but are you sure? 297 00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:25,001 Absolutely. 298 00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:34,638 That's done. 299 00:16:35,931 --> 00:16:37,267 Are you okay? 300 00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:40,019 I will be. 301 00:16:42,105 --> 00:16:43,899 Looks like the dogs are asleep. Shall we go? 302 00:16:43,983 --> 00:16:47,194 Oh, I don't know. You know, maybe they're just playing possum with us. 303 00:16:47,278 --> 00:16:49,448 Oh, frankly, I don't care. 304 00:16:49,823 --> 00:16:53,035 After what I've just done, you think I'm gonna let a couple dogs frighten me? 305 00:16:53,119 --> 00:16:55,037 This is the last time I'm leaving this house. 306 00:16:55,121 --> 00:16:57,706 I'm going to walk through that door with my head held high. 307 00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,502 Good for you. I'm gonna run like hell out the front door. 308 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,045 Wait up. 309 00:17:05,008 --> 00:17:08,803 Now, the beauty of the Hot 'n' Foamy is the ultra-quick heating action. 310 00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:13,308 You just plug it in, and two minutes later, presto. Guess what comes out. 311 00:17:13,392 --> 00:17:16,729 Well, the obvious answer would be shaving cream, 312 00:17:16,813 --> 00:17:18,856 so I'll go with music. 313 00:17:18,940 --> 00:17:22,319 You had a lot of sassy things to say about my clothes steamer too. 314 00:17:22,403 --> 00:17:25,198 But didn't those snow peas taste delicious? 315 00:17:27,659 --> 00:17:29,035 -DAPHNE: Hello. -NILES: Hey. 316 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,998 -Where did you two slip off to? -Oh, I just had some papers to sign. 317 00:17:33,082 --> 00:17:34,834 -Thanks. -Yes. 318 00:17:34,918 --> 00:17:37,630 Niles has decided to begin divorce proceedings. 319 00:17:38,047 --> 00:17:41,926 -I'm sorry, Dr. Crane. -It's okay. I feel good about it. 320 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:43,594 Now, we thought it might be nice 321 00:17:43,678 --> 00:17:46,222 to have a family dinner this evening at Chez Shea, 322 00:17:46,306 --> 00:17:48,559 so we stopped by to invite the two of you to join us. 323 00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:51,270 Oh, that would be nice. I'll just go freshen up. 324 00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:53,940 Yeah, sounds great. And, Niles, I'm proud of you. 325 00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:56,443 I know this isn't easy, but in the long run, 326 00:17:56,527 --> 00:17:58,195 I know you'll be happier. 327 00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:00,490 I'm damn sure I will be. 328 00:18:02,075 --> 00:18:05,078 Well, I can't believe it. It's really over. 329 00:18:05,162 --> 00:18:07,748 And if you choose, you never have to see Maris again. 330 00:18:07,832 --> 00:18:09,876 Oh, please. Half the time I couldn't see her 331 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,060 when she was standing right in front of me. 332 00:18:18,719 --> 00:18:20,180 Oh, my. 333 00:18:20,806 --> 00:18:23,933 -I can't breathe. -Niles… 334 00:18:24,017 --> 00:18:25,311 No, really, I can't breathe. 335 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,897 Frasier, I signed divorce papers. What was I thinking? 336 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,565 God, you're not having second thoughts. 337 00:18:29,649 --> 00:18:32,068 I don't know. When I was caught up in the adrenaline, 338 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,571 it all seemed fine, but now in the clear light of day… 339 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:38,284 It's natural to feel a little shaky, but, believe me, you made the right decision. 340 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,036 -How do I know that? -Let's just check 341 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,623 what prompted us to it. Here. 342 00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:45,083 "Niles is incapable of asserting himself, 343 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,295 especially in front of females." 344 00:18:47,379 --> 00:18:49,464 -Keep going. This is helping. -"As I write this, 345 00:18:49,548 --> 00:18:53,344 he lies staring out the window, licking himself." 346 00:19:00,519 --> 00:19:01,687 What? 347 00:19:02,731 --> 00:19:05,566 "He's become so subservient lately that when he finishes 348 00:19:05,650 --> 00:19:08,821 grooming himself, he often begins licking Frasier." 349 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,037 I have no memory of that. 350 00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:20,918 "April 14th, the day I've dreaded for weeks. 351 00:19:21,002 --> 00:19:23,087 "Frasier died this morning." 352 00:19:25,299 --> 00:19:27,676 "I never would've guessed that my heart could ache so" 353 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,553 "over the death of my beloved" 354 00:19:29,637 --> 00:19:31,014 "lab rat." 355 00:19:31,765 --> 00:19:35,853 "My only consolation is the knowledge that I will soon give birth" 356 00:19:35,937 --> 00:19:37,605 to my first child." 357 00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:40,984 Frasier… 358 00:19:44,529 --> 00:19:46,240 Do you know what this means? 359 00:19:46,324 --> 00:19:48,493 Our mother named us after rodents. 360 00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:55,208 No, it means I have ended my marriage to the woman I love 361 00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:58,755 based on the case history of a spineless rat. 362 00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:00,590 -Oh, my God. -Niles. 363 00:20:00,674 --> 00:20:03,343 Maris has seen the papers. It's too late to take it back. 364 00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:05,596 -Your reasoning was still sound. -My reasoning? 365 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,226 My reasoning was based on my mother's obsession with vermin! 366 00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:13,022 -What the hell's going on? -Niles is just a bit distraught. 367 00:20:13,106 --> 00:20:16,400 -Distraught? My life is over! -FRASIER: Niles, don't talk that way. 368 00:20:16,484 --> 00:20:18,236 My God, man, you've got to calm down. 369 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,571 All right, all right. 370 00:20:19,655 --> 00:20:21,531 I'm gonna splash some cold water on my face. 371 00:20:21,615 --> 00:20:23,701 -Right. Right. -Is he gonna be all right? 372 00:20:23,785 --> 00:20:26,746 -I've never seen him like this. -FRASIER: Of course he'll be all right. 373 00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:29,750 Niles, just remember to keep breathing. 374 00:20:29,834 --> 00:20:32,502 And, trust me, this is not the end! 375 00:20:32,586 --> 00:20:34,631 Your life is not over. 376 00:20:34,715 --> 00:20:36,382 Niles. 377 00:20:36,466 --> 00:20:37,717 Niles! 378 00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,052 [LOUD BANG] 379 00:20:41,222 --> 00:20:42,974 Oh, my God. 380 00:20:58,284 --> 00:21:01,078 Dr. Crane, are you all right? 381 00:21:01,162 --> 00:21:02,164 I'm fine. 382 00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:05,584 Just a little hot… 383 00:21:08,421 --> 00:21:09,630 And foamy. 384 00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:14,887 You know what must have happened? My Hot 'n' Foamy must have exploded. 385 00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:18,308 He was a detective, you know. 386 00:21:18,933 --> 00:21:20,268 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 387 00:21:25,024 --> 00:21:26,776 Excuse me. 388 00:21:27,693 --> 00:21:28,904 Hello. 389 00:21:29,571 --> 00:21:30,614 Yes, Maris. 390 00:21:32,699 --> 00:21:33,784 You are? 391 00:21:34,911 --> 00:21:36,079 You do? 392 00:21:37,038 --> 00:21:40,083 You will? That's wonderful. 393 00:21:40,167 --> 00:21:42,294 I'll be right over. Goodbye. 394 00:21:43,045 --> 00:21:45,381 The divorce papers were a bluff. 395 00:21:45,465 --> 00:21:47,299 When I signed them, it completely threw her. 396 00:21:47,383 --> 00:21:50,470 -She's willing to go into counseling. -Niles, I'm so happy for you. 397 00:21:50,554 --> 00:21:52,098 -Oh, thank you. -Oh, Ni… 398 00:22:03,111 --> 00:22:05,113 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 399 00:22:05,947 --> 00:22:08,589 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 400 00:22:08,673 --> 00:22:10,952 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 401 00:22:11,036 --> 00:22:12,621 Mercy. 402 00:22:12,705 --> 00:22:15,541 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 403 00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,586 ♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 404 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,088 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 405 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,965 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 406 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:25,095 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 407 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,599 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 408 00:22:29,767 --> 00:22:32,154 Scrambled eggs all over my face. 409 00:22:32,238 --> 00:22:33,897 What is a boy to do? 410 00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:38,235 Good night, everybody!