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[THEME SONG PLAYING]
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[DOORBELL CHIMES]
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-Niles.
-I'm sorry to drop by unannounced,
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-but I need your help.
-Of course. Sherry?
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Please. As you know, ever
since I moved into the Montana,
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I've been angling to meet
our most famous tenant,
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Esmé Bing, the Walnut Queen.
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Well, I finally cornered her in the
ornamental garden by the wishing well,
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and I felt very pleased with myself.
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That is, until the Walnut Queen invited
me to a ball. Now I have a problem.
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Yes, your life has become an operetta.
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No, it's a charity ball.
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And when I say "invited," I
mean she let me buy a table for ten
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-at $5,000.
-Oh, no.
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I have until Sunday to
sell eight $500 tickets.
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-Say no more.
-Oh.
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-It's steep, but if it's for charity…
-Thanks, Frasier.
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-It is a very worthy cause.
-All right.
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-Well, who should I make this out to?
-To the Esmerelda…
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Bing…
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-International…
-Right.
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Doll Museum.
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You do have a problem.
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I thought you prided yourself
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-on supporting the arts.
-The arts, Niles. Not the crafts.
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I told you, I can't do it now.
Sherry's taking me out
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for our third-month anniversary,
and I gotta get a new sport coat.
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You cannot skip your exercises again.
You skipped them yesterday.
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This is the only time Sherry
can go shopping with me.
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And I can't go without her. There isn't
a woman alive with her fashion sense.
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Carmen Miranda having passed on.
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I should think having a lady friend
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would make you exercise more, not less.
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I don't mean to be indelicate,
but a man in your condition
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who wants to enjoy certain,
shall we say, indoor sports
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should take steps to make
sure that cranky old Mr. Hip
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doesn't, shall we say, let down
the team, if you get my meaning.
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Oh, don't you worry about me.
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I may not be Rookie of the Year anymore,
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but I can still move around the bases.
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-Oh, hey, Martin.
-Oh, look, a scout from the majors.
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-See you later. Gotta run.
-ROZ: Okay, bye.
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-Well, Roz, this is a surprise.
-Big news.
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-Gertie Olsen's leaving the station.
-What, from Gertie's Grab Bag?
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-I love that show.
-FRASIER: Oh, please.
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That homily-spouting hausfrau
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is the most embarrassing thing on the air.
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-So she finally got canned, eh?
-No, she got a million-dollar TV deal.
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Good news for Gertie,
and for the many atheists
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who will welcome this
new proof of their theory.
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Well, anyway, they're auditioning
people for her time slot, and…
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I'm gonna go for it.
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What do you mean, your own show?
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Oh, Roz, that's exciting.
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And what better way to celebrate
an exciting new career move,
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than spending this Sunday
at a swanky society ball.
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Oh, drop it, Niles!
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Roz, I must say, this
comes as bit of a surprise.
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DAPHNE: I never knew
you wanted your own show.
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Well, it's the whole
reason I got into radio.
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I had my own show in college, and
when I started working at the station,
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I just sort of got stuck
on the producing side.
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Well, what kind of show
did you have in mind?
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I thought I'd talk about stuff I know.
You know, the singles' life in Seattle.
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Dating, fashion, where
to meet available men.
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If you're looking for an event
that'll be crawling with single men,
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-this particular gala should be just…
-Niles!
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Anyway, Frasier, I hope
you'll support me on this.
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Well… I hate to lose you,
but of course I'll support you.
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Thank you, Frasier. You're the best.
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-Well…
-Well, listen,
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as long as I've got you all
here, I'm putting together a tape,
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and I could use people
to pretend to be callers.
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-FRASIER: We'd be glad.
-Sounds like fun.
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-I'll come back tonight.
-FRASIER: All right.
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And, Daphne, I need
at least one spicy call.
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Could you pretend to be a woman
who doesn't believe in sex without love,
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but just feels so horny sometimes
she wants to jump anything in pants?
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Well, I'll try.
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And while I'm at it, I'll see
if I can fake a British accent.
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ROZ: Good afternoon, Seattle.
I'm Roz Doyle, and this is Love Matters.
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Today we're chatting with merchant
seaman Steve Baron from Bellingham.
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Tell me, Steve, what do
you look for in an ideal date?
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When my shipmates and I put
into port after several weeks at sea…
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Cut.
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I'm sorry, Frasier, but you don't
sound like a merchant seaman.
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Point well taken.
Let's try again. All right.
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So, Steve, what do you
look for in an ideal date?
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[PIRATE VOICE] When my shipmates and I…
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Put into port after several weeks
at sea, the first thing we do is…
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Head for the antique sales.
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Fine, smarty pants. You play Steve then.
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No. Never mind.
Let's just go on to my next idea. Daphne?
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Okay, you be the girlfriend in a couple
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who wants to spice
things up in the bedroom.
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-Niles, will you be her boyfriend?
-Yes.
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Okay. I'm here with Fred and Patty.
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Tell me, you two, what made you think
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that your sex life
needed a little jump-start?
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It's all his fault.
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He just seems to have lost interest in me.
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I've done everything I can to entice him.
I've…
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I've served dinner wearing
nothing but high heels and an apron.
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I've called him at the
office and talked dirty.
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And last night when he
came home, I was lying in bed
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wearing a whipped-cream teddy.
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But did he care? No!
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And none of this turned you on, Fred?
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Fred?
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That's nothing. You should hear
the other things that didn't turn me on.
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Tell me about them, Patty.
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Let's cut to the chase.
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Patty, men are like fish.
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When you first hook them,
they wriggle around like crazy.
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But once you finally reel them in,
they just lie there with that glassy look.
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-I'd throw this one back.
-That's terrible advice.
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-No, it isn't.
-Yes, it is.
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You have no idea how Fred
really feels about Daphne… Patsy.
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-Patty.
-Patty.
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-This is pointless.
-No, Roz, you were doing just fine.
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No, I was terrible. I wasn't helpful.
I wasn't smart. I wasn't even sassy.
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Well, well, perhaps not sassy,
but you were certainly saucy.
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That borders on sassy. Roz!
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Hello, Mr. Crane.
How was your romantic evening with Sherry?
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Oh, it was fine. Fine. Yeah. Yeah.
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Hey, Daph, how about
getting that exercise mat out?
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We'll do some stretches, huh? Ah.
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Can't right now.
I'm helping Roz with her audition tape.
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MARTIN: Well, how long's it gonna take?
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What are you so eager for?
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Oh, I get the picture.
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Not too limber with Sherry
this evening, were we?
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Two hips but no hooray?
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Very funny. Well, you haven't
exactly been burning it up
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in the romance department either.
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What do you know about my love life?
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DAPHNE [ON RECORDER]: I was lying in bed
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wearing a whipped-cream teddy.
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But did he care…
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It takes a little time to
get the hang of it at first.
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My God, you should've
heard my audition tape.
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-I was so inept it was incredible.
-That's true.
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Well… Oh, you mean… Well, you heard it.
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All right, then you see what perseverance…
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There was a bootleg copy floating
around the station for months.
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Yes, well, fine. So you get my point then.
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-Yeah, people still play it at parties.
-Well, all right, Roz!
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Hey, Roz, I hear you're
trying out for a new job.
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Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
And you could really help me with my demo.
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-What do I do?
-I just want an honest answer.
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-I want to talk to you about first dates.
-Okay.
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Are you sure Dad's the best
candidate for this particular subject?
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Quick survey.
How many Crane men here with a girlfriend?
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No, no. Keep them up while I count.
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All right, here.
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-Sure, I'll help you.
-ROZ: Great.
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-Okay, Frasier…
-FRASIER: Just a minute. Here we are.
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-ROZ: Start the tape.
-FRASIER: Yes.
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ROZ: We're here with Martin,
and we're talking about first dates.
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Martin, tell me some of the
tricks you use to impress women.
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Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
Roz, but I really don't know any tricks.
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I mean, if a woman agrees
to go out with me, I'd…
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Well, I'm not there to
impress her or to play cool.
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I'm there because I want to know her.
You know, what she thinks,
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what she likes. So that if I'm
lucky enough to get another date,
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I can plan something
that I know she'd like to do.
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I guess I'm still
old-fashioned or something,
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but I think you should
treat a woman like a queen.
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Bow to the master, boys.
Bow to the master.
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-Hey, Bebe!
-Bulldog Briscoe,
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my absolute favorite client!
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Hello, Bebe.
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And Frasier Crane!
Alert the judges, we have a tie!
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Hello. Oh, my goodness, what a flock.
These all yours?
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Yes.
The minute I heard about the auditions,
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I piled all my hottest new
discoveries into the van.
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-You brought them in a van?
-I call it
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my Bebe's Stars of Tomorrow Tour.
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People, I want you to meet Frasier Crane.
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-FRASIER: Hello.
-The caring-est client
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-an agent ever had.
-Well…
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Frasier, this is Professor
Pete, the human encyclopedia.
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Ask him anything. He can't be stumped.
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Well, all right.
Explain Freud's theory of the superego.
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00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:06,398
Sigmund Freud, noted
psychiatrist, was born in Vienna.
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00:10:08,484 --> 00:10:10,984
-But that's not what I asked.
-He believed dreams
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had secret meanings.
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He just pulls it out of the air.
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But if it's a raucous
political debate you want,
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meet newlyweds Hank and Hannah Finch.
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00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:25,290
-'Ello, Hank.
-He's a right-wing Baptist preacher,
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00:10:25,457 --> 00:10:28,710
she's a fun-loving bisexual.
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00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:31,505
Conflicts? You bet!
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-Have you ever seen such talent?
-Well…
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God, they're pathetic.
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-Frasier, Frasier!
-FRASIER: Roz.
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-It went really well.
-Oh, God, I'm so happy for you.
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Do you know what he actually said?
At this moment,
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-I am the candidate to beat!
-Congratulations, Roz.
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00:10:49,479 --> 00:10:50,980
-That's fabulous.
-ROZ: Okay.
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00:10:51,064 --> 00:10:53,107
-I'm gonna get set up for the show.
-Okay.
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00:10:53,191 --> 00:10:55,652
-I'm so excited.
-Okay.
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00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:58,071
Well, rah-rah for little Roz!
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Yes, well, I'm really thrilled for her.
I am.
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00:11:01,448 --> 00:11:04,910
But God knows where I'm gonna find
another producer I feel so in sync with.
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00:11:04,994 --> 00:11:07,955
You know, Hank Finch produced
hygiene films in the Army.
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00:11:08,122 --> 00:11:11,124
No, no. Bebe, I don't think so.
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00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:15,169
Oh, I'm not proud to admit this,
but there is a small part of me
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that hopes she doesn't get the job.
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God, I feel guilty just saying that.
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You're so good.
Everything makes you feel guilty.
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I'm so proud to represent you.
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You're like a modern-day what's-his-name.
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00:11:28,432 --> 00:11:31,601
Pete! Famous German
doctor, built a hospital in Africa.
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00:11:31,768 --> 00:11:34,229
-Albert something?
-Hang on.
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00:11:34,396 --> 00:11:37,773
-Schweitzer.
-No…
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00:11:41,569 --> 00:11:43,278
And that's it for our show today.
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But before I sign off,
this final note to Karla,
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00:11:46,365 --> 00:11:50,118
who called us early
from the planet Fripton.
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00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,830
The technical term for your
condition, which eluded me earlier,
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is schizophreniform disorder.
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Or in layman's terms:
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00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:06,300
God, you know once in a while, it's
nice to just call them as I see them.
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00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,927
ROZ: Hey, what's going on out here?
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00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:11,513
FRASIER: Oh, good Lord,
is it someone's birthday?
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00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,555
I hate to be the one to break it to you,
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00:12:13,639 --> 00:12:15,689
but Brenda from the newsroom got the job.
228
00:12:15,850 --> 00:12:17,935
-Brenda?
-Oh, Roz.
229
00:12:18,144 --> 00:12:21,146
It's total BS. Listen, if you
need a little comforting later…
230
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:24,275
Hey, Brenda, all right!
Wait up! I'm there for you.
231
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:30,280
-Roz, I'm so sorry.
-Oh, hell. I'll be okay.
232
00:12:30,906 --> 00:12:33,533
Guess I'd better go
congratulate the winner.
233
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,327
Right.
234
00:12:37,161 --> 00:12:39,161
Bebe, did you hear what happened to Roz?
235
00:12:39,246 --> 00:12:42,749
-Yes. No need to thank me, darling.
-What? What are you talking about?
236
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:44,209
I spoke to the station manager.
237
00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:46,545
I told him just how you'd
feel if he gave Roz the job.
238
00:12:46,629 --> 00:12:49,215
You did what? Get in here!
239
00:12:49,382 --> 00:12:52,342
I said that Frasier Crane
wasn't about to work for a station
240
00:12:52,509 --> 00:12:54,636
-that would steal his producer away.
-Oh.
241
00:12:54,803 --> 00:12:57,764
A bluff, of course, but
he crumbled like a matzo.
242
00:12:57,931 --> 00:12:59,682
God, how could you?
243
00:13:00,183 --> 00:13:02,726
When I told you I'd hate to
lose Roz, I didn't mean for you
244
00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:06,688
-to sabotage her.
-You didn't?
245
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:09,108
Oh, no.
246
00:13:09,274 --> 00:13:12,861
What a horrible misunderstanding. Wink!
247
00:13:15,029 --> 00:13:16,531
I mean it.
248
00:13:16,697 --> 00:13:19,033
Oh, I see.
249
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,161
So when you said in that
off-handed way that you hoped
250
00:13:22,328 --> 00:13:28,166
that Roz wouldn't get the
job, I totally misinterpreted you.
251
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,670
-Wink!
-Will you stop winking!
252
00:13:32,671 --> 00:13:36,049
My God, I could never want such a thing!
253
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:39,009
God, maybe there's some
way I can still reverse this.
254
00:13:39,176 --> 00:13:42,095
Oh, that was fun. I got to watch
Brenda sign her new contract.
255
00:13:42,179 --> 00:13:44,479
Roz, I think what they
did to you is monstrous.
256
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:47,143
I wish I could stay here and console you,
257
00:13:47,309 --> 00:13:50,062
but my people are
waiting for me in the van.
258
00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:53,815
I hope someone cracked a window.
259
00:13:55,358 --> 00:13:57,986
Listen, Roz, there's something
we need to talk about.
260
00:13:58,153 --> 00:14:00,253
Oh, Frasier, I know what you're gonna say.
261
00:14:00,405 --> 00:14:03,158
That I tried my best. That I deserved it.
262
00:14:03,323 --> 00:14:05,117
I'm fine with this, really.
263
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:09,121
Yeah, I gave it a shot.
That's what counts.
264
00:14:09,288 --> 00:14:10,497
I didn't get it.
265
00:14:10,706 --> 00:14:12,656
[CRYING] It's not like my life is over.
266
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:15,544
Oh. Oh, no. Oh.
267
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:22,008
Oh, look at me.
I'm so busy feeling sorry for myself
268
00:14:22,175 --> 00:14:24,176
I haven't even thanked
you for all your help.
269
00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:27,013
-That's not necessary.
-No, it is.
270
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:28,847
Look how close you helped me get.
271
00:14:29,014 --> 00:14:31,475
It's because of you
that I was second choice.
272
00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:33,852
I can't argue with that.
273
00:14:34,019 --> 00:14:35,395
Come for a second.
274
00:14:35,562 --> 00:14:38,106
Listen, there's something
I need to confess to you.
275
00:14:38,273 --> 00:14:41,692
You know, as much as I
hoped that you'd get the job,
276
00:14:41,859 --> 00:14:47,448
there was a very small part
of me, a very selfish part, that…
277
00:14:47,615 --> 00:14:49,200
That hoped you wouldn't.
278
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:53,036
Oh, that's not bad.
That's really kind of sweet.
279
00:14:53,453 --> 00:14:55,454
Well, I'm glad to hear
you feel that way because
280
00:14:55,538 --> 00:14:57,456
I happened to mention
those feelings to Bebe.
281
00:14:57,540 --> 00:15:01,461
-Bebe? You told Bebe?
-It was just in passing.
282
00:15:01,628 --> 00:15:03,712
Oh, great. She torpedoed me, didn't she?
283
00:15:03,796 --> 00:15:06,089
Yes. She told Doug that
I'd quit if you got the job.
284
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,466
-I don't believe this.
-I'm glad to see you're as mad
285
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:10,009
-at her as I am!
-I'm mad at you!
286
00:15:10,093 --> 00:15:11,302
-Me?
-How could you do that?
287
00:15:11,386 --> 00:15:14,013
It was just an off-hand remark.
How was I to know how she'd react?
288
00:15:14,097 --> 00:15:15,557
She's Bebe!
289
00:15:17,141 --> 00:15:18,893
If you had said you liked my eyes,
290
00:15:19,101 --> 00:15:22,063
they would've been on your
desk tomorrow in a Tiffany box.
291
00:15:22,230 --> 00:15:23,940
Oh, God! Roz, I'm so sorry.
292
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,859
Just tell me how I can make it up to you.
I promise I will.
293
00:15:26,943 --> 00:15:29,611
-You mean it?
-Yes. Anything. Just name it.
294
00:15:29,986 --> 00:15:32,531
-Fire Bebe.
-Will that…
295
00:15:32,697 --> 00:15:35,575
Well… How many things…
296
00:15:35,742 --> 00:15:37,661
Isn't there something else you'd like?
297
00:15:38,161 --> 00:15:42,581
The only thing I wanted was that job.
And she took it away.
298
00:15:43,415 --> 00:15:45,793
I am not just suggesting this for my sake.
299
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,505
I'm suggesting it for yours.
She is your representative.
300
00:15:49,672 --> 00:15:53,133
When she goes out into the
world lying and twisting your words
301
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:57,303
and stabbing people in the
back, it reflects badly on you.
302
00:15:59,347 --> 00:16:01,182
You're right, Roz.
303
00:16:01,391 --> 00:16:03,184
How can I consider
myself an ethical person
304
00:16:03,268 --> 00:16:07,062
when I have the princess of darkness
conducting my business for me?
305
00:16:07,229 --> 00:16:10,524
Well, that's it. I'm gonna have
to fire that conniving harpy.
306
00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:12,442
I'm very proud of you.
307
00:16:12,609 --> 00:16:14,986
I'm ashamed to think how
long I've turned a blind eye
308
00:16:15,070 --> 00:16:16,572
on her unscrupulous behavior.
309
00:16:17,155 --> 00:16:18,407
And what for?
310
00:16:19,365 --> 00:16:23,327
Twenty-percent pay increase?
Six-week paid vacation.
311
00:16:23,494 --> 00:16:25,120
An expense account. A travel allowance.
312
00:16:25,204 --> 00:16:28,624
-Frasier!
-Well, not anymore.
313
00:16:32,586 --> 00:16:37,340
VERA: Frasier Crane's here.
He's not alone. Have a seat.
314
00:16:39,759 --> 00:16:42,554
Frasier, Roz. My two favorite people.
315
00:16:42,721 --> 00:16:44,054
-Not for long.
-Bebe,
316
00:16:44,221 --> 00:16:46,306
we've got to discuss what
happened this morning.
317
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:48,642
This time you won't
wink your way out of it.
318
00:16:48,809 --> 00:16:53,772
This sounds serious. You two
come right in, and we'll solve this thing.
319
00:16:53,939 --> 00:16:57,609
Let's just promise to be
totally honest with each other.
320
00:16:57,775 --> 00:17:00,653
We're losing one. Code red.
321
00:17:01,446 --> 00:17:04,324
What can I get you? Champagne?
322
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,075
-ROZ: Nothing.
-A massage?
323
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,619
-No, thank you.
-BEBE: You're sure?
324
00:17:08,785 --> 00:17:10,620
Vladimir can be here in five minutes.
325
00:17:10,704 --> 00:17:12,497
He will play your spine like a Steinway.
326
00:17:12,581 --> 00:17:14,458
Can we just get started?
327
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:20,504
Roz, I'm just a wreck about
our misunderstanding today.
328
00:17:20,671 --> 00:17:23,215
-Can you ever forgive me?
-No.
329
00:17:23,382 --> 00:17:26,510
Why should you? I don't forgive myself.
330
00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:31,265
Bebe, what you did today was
unfair, not just to Roz, but to me.
331
00:17:32,557 --> 00:17:35,101
Thanks to you, a strain has
been put on our relationship,
332
00:17:35,185 --> 00:17:37,646
both professionally and personally.
333
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:42,233
Now all of this I might be able to let
go had it been an isolated incident,
334
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:46,250
but I've observed that it's just part
of a pattern… Are you quite all right?
335
00:17:46,654 --> 00:17:50,199
It's nothing.
It's just a silly little cardiac thing.
336
00:17:50,699 --> 00:17:53,868
Go, go! You're distracting my
client, and my clients come first.
337
00:17:53,952 --> 00:17:58,122
Oh, poor little Bebe. How many fake
pills do you have to take every day?
338
00:17:58,289 --> 00:18:00,791
Yes, did you really think you
could deceive us sitting there
339
00:18:00,875 --> 00:18:02,043
popping a bunch of…
340
00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:05,338
Digitalis? Oh, my God!
You really are sick!
341
00:18:05,505 --> 00:18:07,340
Well, of course I'm sick.
342
00:18:07,507 --> 00:18:11,009
But it makes me even sicker
to think that I've angered you
343
00:18:11,176 --> 00:18:14,387
when all I wanted to do was keep
the best damn team in radio together.
344
00:18:14,471 --> 00:18:17,121
Oh, God. We're gonna need
a shovel to get out of here.
345
00:18:17,224 --> 00:18:19,559
Yes, all right, Bebe.
Be that as it may, I still…
346
00:18:19,643 --> 00:18:21,019
[PHONE RINGS]
347
00:18:21,103 --> 00:18:23,521
I told you, no calls.
348
00:18:25,231 --> 00:18:26,357
What about my sister?
349
00:18:29,485 --> 00:18:30,778
One second.
350
00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:34,489
Did the air bag deploy?
351
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,994
Look, I'm gonna have to call you back.
352
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:44,499
Frasier's here, and my clients come first.
353
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,086
I'm sorry. You were saying?
354
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,631
Since the moment we met,
you have shown yourself to be
355
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,883
ruthless and untrustworthy.
356
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,303
As these are qualities I do not wish
to have associated with my name,
357
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,637
It's best that we part…
358
00:18:59,762 --> 00:19:01,180
[PHONE RINGS]
359
00:19:01,264 --> 00:19:05,017
-What did I say about calls?
-LITTLE GIRL: Auntie Bebe?
360
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:09,063
Oh, Suzy.
361
00:19:10,398 --> 00:19:13,024
Sorry to hear about your mummy's accident.
362
00:19:13,191 --> 00:19:15,819
I'm frightened, Auntie Bebe.
363
00:19:16,403 --> 00:19:18,447
Don't be, little one.
364
00:19:18,613 --> 00:19:23,409
If Mummy goes to heaven,
will you take care of me?
365
00:19:26,871 --> 00:19:32,918
Of course, my little lamb.
Assuming that I have the resources.
366
00:19:34,503 --> 00:19:36,295
Bebe, you know, I can't help noticing
367
00:19:36,379 --> 00:19:38,464
that none of your
outside lines are lit up.
368
00:19:38,548 --> 00:19:41,217
The bulbs are broken.
369
00:19:45,513 --> 00:19:46,890
Auntie has to go.
370
00:19:47,056 --> 00:19:50,475
I'm with a client, and you
know what we say about clients.
371
00:19:50,559 --> 00:19:54,021
They always come first.
372
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:58,650
-You are amazing.
-Is there nothing you won't stoop to?
373
00:19:59,276 --> 00:20:03,446
I had no idea who I was speaking to!
374
00:20:03,613 --> 00:20:05,823
How dare you impersonate my niece!
375
00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:09,702
I've had enough of your cruel jokes!
You're fired, Mother!
376
00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:14,414
-I just wanna say…
-No! Stop!
377
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,000
Not one more crooked word!
378
00:20:17,167 --> 00:20:20,045
Your tongue could open a wine bottle!
379
00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:25,508
As of now, Frasier Crane
has resigned from your coven.
380
00:20:25,674 --> 00:20:29,178
Oh, that's it, is it?
I'm not virtuous enough for you?
381
00:20:29,345 --> 00:20:34,892
Not noble? Fine, quit! Next time you
need a deal made, call the Dalai Lama!
382
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:40,563
A long time ago I had to make a
choice between being a good agent
383
00:20:40,730 --> 00:20:44,400
and a good person, because,
trust me, you can't be both!
384
00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:48,154
So forgive me if I don't have time to
make everybody feel warm and fuzzy.
385
00:20:48,238 --> 00:20:51,615
I am just too busy spending every
waking minute pulling any string,
386
00:20:51,782 --> 00:20:55,953
playing any shameless trick I can to
make my clients' dreams come true.
387
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,039
I am a star maker!
388
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:02,500
And if you can't appreciate
that, there are plenty who can.
389
00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:04,376
How about you? You want an agent?
390
00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:06,253
-Oh, please!
-You mean it?
391
00:21:06,337 --> 00:21:08,297
FRASIER: Roz!
392
00:21:09,799 --> 00:21:12,426
I never had an agent.
It's not like she worships the devil.
393
00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:15,387
Well, she doesn't have to.
He worships her!
394
00:21:18,390 --> 00:21:21,601
You're absolutely right, Frasier.
Forget it, Bebe. No way.
395
00:21:21,768 --> 00:21:23,770
That voice. I could listen to it all day.
396
00:21:23,854 --> 00:21:26,939
It's pure, yet smoldering
like a nun with a past.
397
00:21:27,189 --> 00:21:29,524
-You think so?
-No, Roz, don't look her in the eye.
398
00:21:29,608 --> 00:21:32,570
I could triple your salary.
Voice-overs, commercials…
399
00:21:32,736 --> 00:21:34,655
Roz, listen to me. For God's sake,
400
00:21:34,822 --> 00:21:37,282
if you've got the tiniest
shred of sense or dignity left,
401
00:21:37,366 --> 00:21:40,326
remember what this woman did to
you this afternoon. And renounce her.
402
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:43,872
She has no scruples.
No ethics. And no reflection!
403
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,210
ROZ: Let's get out of here.
404
00:21:49,419 --> 00:21:53,630
Well, nice doing business with you. Wink!
405
00:21:55,424 --> 00:21:57,801
Oh, damn it. Frasier, I forgot my purse.
406
00:21:57,968 --> 00:21:59,928
-All right.
-ROZ: Just be a minute.
407
00:22:00,345 --> 00:22:02,639
-Lunch tomorrow?
-12:30. Bernardi's.
408
00:22:02,806 --> 00:22:04,098
Gotcha.
409
00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:08,977
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
410
00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:12,038
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
411
00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,691
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
412
00:22:14,775 --> 00:22:16,025
Oh, my.
413
00:22:16,109 --> 00:22:18,319
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
414
00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:20,947
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
415
00:22:21,031 --> 00:22:23,199
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
416
00:22:23,283 --> 00:22:24,742
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
417
00:22:24,826 --> 00:22:28,329
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
418
00:22:29,246 --> 00:22:31,332
♪ They're callin' again ♪
419
00:22:32,207 --> 00:22:33,584
Good night!