1
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,895
Well, I'm off to get our lunch.
Any special requests?

2
00:00:13,062 --> 00:00:17,190
-No, anything you pick up will be fine.
-Okay, then. Back in a bit.

3
00:00:17,357 --> 00:00:18,566
She is such a doll.

4
00:00:18,774 --> 00:00:20,860
You are such a doll.

5
00:00:22,569 --> 00:00:25,446
-I thought she'd never leave.
-I know.

6
00:00:25,655 --> 00:00:29,575
-It's nice to have time alone finally.
-Come here, you.

7
00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:35,412
Hey, you, get your own!

8
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,320
No, go on. Now, get away. Come on.

9
00:00:37,497 --> 00:00:40,708
-Hey, come with me. Come on, Eddie.
-Go on. Go on.

10
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,375
MARTIN: There you go.

11
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,128
Seat's already up for you.
It's happy hour.

12
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,753
Bye.

13
00:00:47,170 --> 00:00:52,258
-Now, where were we?
-Oh, come here, you little devil, you.

14
00:00:52,884 --> 00:00:54,467
DAPHNE: Look who was just coming home

15
00:00:54,551 --> 00:00:56,052
with take-out from the gourmet shop.

16
00:00:56,136 --> 00:00:58,261
-Oh, isn't that lucky?
-Hey, boys.

17
00:00:58,345 --> 00:01:02,473
My, don't you look handsome
in your best bib and tucker.

18
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,310
Come on and give Aunt
Sherry a great big kiss.

19
00:01:06,518 --> 00:01:09,896
Or perhaps just a friendly
wave from across the room.

20
00:01:10,062 --> 00:01:11,939
Niles, you are so shy.

21
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,650
Thank God your big brother isn't.
Come on, Fras, plant one on me.

22
00:01:17,902 --> 00:01:19,528
There you are.

23
00:01:21,404 --> 00:01:23,114
Has Eddie been licking you?

24
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,575
-Yes.
-Yes, I thought your perfume had

25
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:28,993
a hint of Snausage in it.

26
00:01:30,369 --> 00:01:32,455
SHERRY: So you two have been shopping.

27
00:01:32,622 --> 00:01:34,331
Well, antiquing actually.

28
00:01:34,497 --> 00:01:37,750
I just found the most exquisite
Japanese doorknocker.

29
00:01:37,958 --> 00:01:41,836
It's said to bring peace and
tranquility to any home it adorns.

30
00:01:42,045 --> 00:01:44,255
I haven't seen any
decent Oriental knockers

31
00:01:44,422 --> 00:01:46,465
since Empress Chow's <i>Shanghai Revue.</i>

32
00:01:50,134 --> 00:01:53,970
Isn't she great?
She's as funny as she is classy.

33
00:01:54,179 --> 00:01:55,639
No argument there.

34
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,590
Oh, by the way, if you want
someone to install that for you,

35
00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:03,102
I can put you in touch
with my ex-houseman, Ghi.

36
00:02:03,186 --> 00:02:05,145
-Ghi?
-No, Ghi.

37
00:02:05,354 --> 00:02:07,481
-Ghi?
-No, no. Back of the throat. Ghi.

38
00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:09,899
Oh, what's the difference?

39
00:02:10,066 --> 00:02:14,110
I'm not so helpless that I cannot
install a simple doorknocker on my own.

40
00:02:19,823 --> 00:02:21,723
You might want to use the screwdriver.

41
00:02:22,283 --> 00:02:24,233
That's exactly what I was about to get.

42
00:02:27,913 --> 00:02:29,664
It's in the tool drawer.

43
00:02:33,375 --> 00:02:35,418
The drawer under
that big tea server thing.

44
00:02:35,502 --> 00:02:38,379
Dad, that is a Byelorussian samovar.

45
00:02:38,587 --> 00:02:40,437
By God, how long have you lived here?

46
00:02:41,339 --> 00:02:42,966
Here we are. Lunch is ready.

47
00:02:43,132 --> 00:02:47,219
Actually, I just remembered, I've got an
errand I gotta run before I get to work.

48
00:02:47,427 --> 00:02:50,763
Goodbye, Niles.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna kiss you.

49
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:53,098
I know it embarrasses you.

50
00:02:53,264 --> 00:02:55,141
Wait, come here.

51
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,226
You got some schmutz on your cheek.

52
00:02:59,103 --> 00:03:01,354
My mistake, it's a mole.

53
00:03:02,105 --> 00:03:04,272
You might wanna have that checked.

54
00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:08,401
Oh, I think now I'll just play
it safe and have it removed.

55
00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:13,905
Oh, Daphne, apparently this morning
when you were dusting, you forgot…

56
00:03:13,989 --> 00:03:17,449
This objet does not face
front, but rather, askew.

57
00:03:17,658 --> 00:03:19,909
Oh, I'm so sorry, Dr. Crane.

58
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:24,705
I should never have tried to do it
without that diagram you drew me.

59
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,013
Frasier, now that I
know you like antiques,

60
00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:29,264
I've got a little present at home for you.

61
00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:32,460
It's a lamp shaped like two frogs kissing.

62
00:03:32,627 --> 00:03:35,087
And when you turn it
on, their hearts glow.

63
00:03:36,839 --> 00:03:38,881
When would you like me to bring it by?

64
00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:40,842
Preferably when I'm here.

65
00:03:42,677 --> 00:03:46,096
I'll bring it with me tomorrow. Bye-bye.

66
00:03:46,304 --> 00:03:48,264
Daphne, would you bring me that hammer?

67
00:03:48,472 --> 00:03:50,516
I thought you just needed a screwdriver.

68
00:03:50,682 --> 00:03:54,082
Well, I do. I just wanna be prepared
when that Froggy lamp gets here.

69
00:03:56,145 --> 00:03:59,147
-See you later, honey. I'll call you.
-Okay, bye.

70
00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:01,607
-Oh, hi there, Mrs. Langer.
-Ms.

71
00:04:01,816 --> 00:04:03,442
Oh, right, Mis…

72
00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:05,569
…erable old cow.

73
00:04:09,321 --> 00:04:12,699
-Tonight's your opera night, isn't it?
-Yes. Why?

74
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:16,618
Well, I was wondering. I'd love to
cook a nice romantic dinner for Sherry,

75
00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:19,787
but I can't do it at her place
because I'm allergic to her cats,

76
00:04:19,871 --> 00:04:21,830
and there's just no privacy around here.

77
00:04:21,914 --> 00:04:24,916
Say no more, Dad.
My bachelor pad is the perfect place

78
00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:27,877
to entertain a young lady. Just remember:

79
00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:31,004
Always use coasters, no
snacking in the carpeted areas,

80
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:35,257
and close the art books after
viewing so you don't crease the spine.

81
00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:39,552
I believe they have the same
rules at the Playboy Mansion.

82
00:04:41,095 --> 00:04:42,596
Well, there we are.

83
00:04:42,763 --> 00:04:44,765
That's that, huh? That's not so hard.

84
00:04:44,931 --> 00:04:48,431
Tomorrow, I may just have to tackle
that leaky sink in the powder room.

85
00:04:51,936 --> 00:04:54,521
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a joke.

86
00:04:55,898 --> 00:04:57,191
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

87
00:04:58,191 --> 00:04:59,942
The inaugural knock.

88
00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:05,447
Oh, what's this?

89
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,534
"Your unauthorized doorknocker
violates the condo by-laws

90
00:05:11,618 --> 00:05:13,161
"regarding hallway decoration."

91
00:05:14,912 --> 00:05:16,955
Remove it immediately."

92
00:05:17,164 --> 00:05:19,624
That's one of Mrs. Langer's "no-no" slips.

93
00:05:19,832 --> 00:05:21,125
I can't stand that woman.

94
00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:23,376
Just because she's
president of the condo board,

95
00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,210
she acts like this building's her kingdom.

96
00:05:25,294 --> 00:05:27,879
Everything has to be done
exactly the way she likes it.

97
00:05:27,963 --> 00:05:31,263
Yes, well, Daphne, no one hates a
bossy fuss-budget more than I do,

98
00:05:31,382 --> 00:05:34,426
but, Daphne… Askew, askew! Don't you see?

99
00:05:37,053 --> 00:05:39,680
But rules are there for a reason.

100
00:05:39,847 --> 00:05:43,597
I was obviously at fault for not getting
approval before I hung it up there.

101
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:45,434
I did notice a sign in the lobby about

102
00:05:45,518 --> 00:05:48,395
some condo board meeting tonight
if you want to present your case.

103
00:05:48,479 --> 00:05:51,564
Perfect. We live in a democratic
system, and I will work within it.

104
00:05:51,648 --> 00:05:54,274
I'm sure I can persuade them
with my charm and eloquence.

105
00:05:54,358 --> 00:05:56,758
I don't know.
Those people can be very difficult.

106
00:05:56,901 --> 00:05:59,695
Pish-tosh. It's not as though I'll
be addressing the Supreme Court.

107
00:05:59,779 --> 00:06:01,822
I'll simply be talking to the board.

108
00:06:02,030 --> 00:06:05,157
Well, they will be by
the time he gets through.

109
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:14,164
LANGER: After careful consideration
of the bids from a number of gardeners,

110
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:18,918
we have decided to go
with Jordan Landscaping.

111
00:06:19,085 --> 00:06:20,418
Excuse me.

112
00:06:20,585 --> 00:06:23,421
I'm not too late, am I?
I was hoping to make a statement.

113
00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:26,330
Me too. No, they'll be getting
to new business shortly.

114
00:06:26,423 --> 00:06:30,176
Good, good.
I have a matter of some import to discuss.

115
00:06:30,343 --> 00:06:32,093
Well, then you should go before me.

116
00:06:32,177 --> 00:06:33,929
Oh, thank you. Why are you here?

117
00:06:34,138 --> 00:06:36,513
To ask them to make the
ramp out front less steep

118
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,850
so I don't keep rolling into traffic.

119
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,601
How about you?

120
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,436
Oh, well…

121
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,021
Perhaps you should go first.

122
00:06:46,814 --> 00:06:50,275
LANGER: Is that Frasier
Crane talking while I'm talking?

123
00:06:51,693 --> 00:06:53,944
Well, yes. I'm sorry, Ms. Langer.

124
00:06:54,111 --> 00:06:57,362
I was just inquiring as to whether I
was too late to raise some new business.

125
00:06:57,446 --> 00:06:59,739
LANGER: Well, we were
just about to get to that.

126
00:06:59,823 --> 00:07:01,241
Why don't you go ahead?

127
00:07:01,449 --> 00:07:03,160
I'll be quick.

128
00:07:03,826 --> 00:07:06,995
Earlier today, I installed a
doorknocker without your permission.

129
00:07:07,079 --> 00:07:09,205
Now, I'd like to say in my defense

130
00:07:09,414 --> 00:07:11,764
that my over eagerness
was not out of disrespect

131
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:14,667
but enthusiasm for an object
which, I'm sure you will agree,

132
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:16,085
is really quite beautiful.

133
00:07:16,252 --> 00:07:18,838
I understand the rule
exists to prohibit people

134
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,131
from putting eyesores in public places,

135
00:07:21,339 --> 00:07:24,539
but I ask you, should it apply to
something as beautiful as this?

136
00:07:24,633 --> 00:07:25,759
Here, if you will. Please.

137
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:29,512
Something, which serves
only to elevate our spirits.

138
00:07:29,721 --> 00:07:32,722
Let's just say that someone
passes by my door, sees the knocker,

139
00:07:32,806 --> 00:07:36,851
and suddenly feels just a little bit
better, without even knowing why.

140
00:07:37,059 --> 00:07:40,103
That same person passes a
perfect stranger and smiles,

141
00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:44,315
who in turn reaches down,
picks up, perhaps, a piece of trash,

142
00:07:44,523 --> 00:07:48,943
plants a garden,
volunteers at a soup kitchen.

143
00:07:49,110 --> 00:07:53,322
Like little ripples on a still
pond, the happiness spreads.

144
00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:58,492
So, what I'm asking you to do is
think of this not simply as an ornament,

145
00:07:58,659 --> 00:08:00,994
but rather an opportunity.

146
00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:07,665
Dare I say it, knocking on a
door of a new, more civilized world.

147
00:08:07,832 --> 00:08:09,542
Thank you.

148
00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:13,712
-Allow us just a moment.
-FRASIER: Of course.

149
00:08:14,254 --> 00:08:16,047
Request denied.

150
00:08:16,297 --> 00:08:19,925
You must remove the
knocker within 24 hours,

151
00:08:20,091 --> 00:08:23,177
despite the consequences to world peace.

152
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:25,221
Yes, well, I appreciate your…

153
00:08:25,387 --> 00:08:28,514
Are you still talking?

154
00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:32,081
-Your request is denied! Sit down!
-But there's been no discussion.

155
00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:34,101
It hasn't even been
opened up to the floor.

156
00:08:34,185 --> 00:08:36,061
I will entertain
suggestions from the floor

157
00:08:36,145 --> 00:08:38,897
if anyone has any idea
how to shut this man up!

158
00:08:39,481 --> 00:08:42,816
I came down here expecting a fair
hearing in the democratic tradition.

159
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:45,027
But I see now that you are a tyrant,

160
00:08:45,194 --> 00:08:48,196
concerned more with the
exercise of power than with justice.

161
00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:50,197
Well, fine, I will leave now,

162
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:53,449
taking solace in the certain
knowledge that, in time, you, Ms. Langer,

163
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,119
will join all tyrants on
the ash heap of history!

164
00:09:03,958 --> 00:09:05,875
I'm not here.

165
00:09:06,042 --> 00:09:07,627
Pardon me.

166
00:09:07,835 --> 00:09:11,088
Oh, dear. I'll just get those later.

167
00:09:47,865 --> 00:09:49,574
MAN: Dr. Crane.

168
00:09:49,741 --> 00:09:52,244
-Yes. Who's there?
-A friend.

169
00:09:52,452 --> 00:09:54,412
Keep your distance.

170
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:57,496
-Well, why can't I see you?
-That's not important right now.

171
00:09:57,580 --> 00:10:00,730
What's important is that you
were not afraid to go up against…

172
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:03,168
Ms. Langer last night.

173
00:10:04,169 --> 00:10:06,963
-Without much success.
-More than you know.

174
00:10:07,130 --> 00:10:09,506
Most people in the
building are afraid of her.

175
00:10:09,715 --> 00:10:11,841
There is a group of us
who fight her, though,

176
00:10:11,925 --> 00:10:15,136
a small, but determined band of resisters.

177
00:10:16,262 --> 00:10:20,098
You know the new doormat
by the service elevator?

178
00:10:20,307 --> 00:10:22,099
We did that.

179
00:10:22,933 --> 00:10:24,517
It's very nice.

180
00:10:24,851 --> 00:10:27,312
We would like you to be our candidate

181
00:10:27,478 --> 00:10:29,896
and go up against her
in the upcoming elections.

182
00:10:30,105 --> 00:10:32,148
I'm flattered, but I have
a great many demands…

183
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,483
You are our only chance, Dr. Crane.

184
00:10:34,692 --> 00:10:36,943
And she must be defeated. She is evil.

185
00:10:37,944 --> 00:10:41,947
Nichols, in 1704, was two
days late with his condo fee,

186
00:10:42,156 --> 00:10:44,907
and she lowered the water
pressure in his shower.

187
00:10:45,074 --> 00:10:47,660
Eventually, he died.

188
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,162
From bad water pressure?

189
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:52,872
No, I think it was a hunting accident.

190
00:10:54,206 --> 00:10:56,499
But he spent his last months on this earth

191
00:10:56,708 --> 00:11:00,878
unable to get all the
conditioner out of his hair.

192
00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:05,256
Only you possess the charisma
and courage to defeat her.

193
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,383
Well, that may be, but…

194
00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:10,719
I am not asking you to decide right now.

195
00:11:11,553 --> 00:11:14,096
I just want you to say
you'll think about it.

196
00:11:14,430 --> 00:11:15,930
All right.

197
00:11:16,097 --> 00:11:17,849
But why can't I see who you are?

198
00:11:18,058 --> 00:11:21,060
Because I'm remodeling my bathroom.

199
00:11:25,271 --> 00:11:29,274
If she found out I was talking to you,
she would never approve my bidet.

200
00:11:31,109 --> 00:11:35,237
Just think of me as "Mr. X."

201
00:11:43,951 --> 00:11:49,498
That would work better without
the vanity plates, Dr. Dorfman.

202
00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:56,151
-NILES: Frasier, wait.
-Oh, hello, Niles.

203
00:11:56,252 --> 00:11:58,754
The most extraordinary thing
happened to me in the garage.

204
00:11:58,838 --> 00:12:02,383
-Excuse me. Is Dad home now?
-Yes, as far as I know.

205
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,217
-Oh, I was afraid of that.
-Why? Is something wrong?

206
00:12:05,301 --> 00:12:08,136
Well, last night I invited
Dad to use my apartment

207
00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:11,753
for a quiet, romantic dinner with
Sherry while I attended <i>La Traviata.</i>

208
00:12:11,889 --> 00:12:13,933
Well, the production was just dreadful.

209
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:18,478
In "Ah, fors' è lui" the soprano
couldn't hit the E flat above high C.

210
00:12:18,685 --> 00:12:21,855
So I got so fed up, I stormed out,
drove home, entered my apartment,

211
00:12:21,939 --> 00:12:25,639
and when I saw what Dad and Sherry
were doing there, I hit the note myself.

212
00:12:27,818 --> 00:12:30,112
-You mean they were…
-They were.

213
00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:32,738
What did you do?

214
00:12:32,947 --> 00:12:35,281
Pulled up a chaise tongue
and took out my opera glasses.

215
00:12:35,365 --> 00:12:37,158
What do you think I did?

216
00:12:37,325 --> 00:12:38,951
I slammed the door and ran away.

217
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,995
I've never been so embarrassed.
I don't think I can face him now.

218
00:12:42,079 --> 00:12:44,539
You simply have to
diffuse the entire subject

219
00:12:44,705 --> 00:12:46,873
with a simple adult conversation.

220
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,208
I don't wanna recreate what
happened to Maris and me

221
00:12:49,292 --> 00:12:52,377
after the cabin incident, when I
walked in on her taking a shower.

222
00:12:52,461 --> 00:12:56,214
Oh, God.
Months of avoidance and awkwardness.

223
00:12:56,923 --> 00:12:58,215
Excuse me.

224
00:12:58,382 --> 00:13:01,677
You saw my Maris completely naked?

225
00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:04,428
Don't fret.
It was nothing more than a fleeting glance

226
00:13:04,512 --> 00:13:06,346
in a very steamy bathroom.

227
00:13:06,513 --> 00:13:10,891
More like glimpsing a birch
sapling through a thick fog.

228
00:13:11,684 --> 00:13:13,227
Life is so unfair.

229
00:13:13,394 --> 00:13:17,896
You get a vision of my
Maris, I get a big eyeful of Dad.

230
00:13:18,981 --> 00:13:22,525
Well, I'd say we hit about the
same level on the "yikes" meter.

231
00:13:23,901 --> 00:13:25,361
Oh, Roz, you're here.

232
00:13:25,527 --> 00:13:28,321
Is that your apology for
making me work on a Saturday

233
00:13:28,488 --> 00:13:30,865
-and then getting here late?
-I was detained.

234
00:13:32,116 --> 00:13:35,534
Roz, the most extraordinary thing
happened. I was in the parking garage.

235
00:13:35,618 --> 00:13:38,454
Suddenly, I was blinded
by a set of headlights.

236
00:13:38,662 --> 00:13:41,039
A mysterious man crept from the shadows

237
00:13:41,206 --> 00:13:45,709
and told me that I should
run for condo board president.

238
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:48,086
You've been at your
wine club, haven't you?

239
00:13:49,753 --> 00:13:51,380
No. This really happened.

240
00:13:51,839 --> 00:13:54,006
Surely, you're not
actually thinking of running.

241
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:56,490
You've never held an
elected office in your life.

242
00:13:56,593 --> 00:13:59,260
You're forgetting?
I served two terms back in high school

243
00:13:59,344 --> 00:14:02,096
as Grand Panjandrum
of the Vocabulary Club.

244
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:07,100
Listen, Frasier, this job is a nightmare.

245
00:14:07,309 --> 00:14:10,519
Trust me, I know. Like, if
somebody wants a garbage disposal,

246
00:14:10,728 --> 00:14:12,187
they'll bug you day and night.

247
00:14:12,271 --> 00:14:16,316
They'll leave kitchen scraps in your
mailbox until they get what they want.

248
00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:18,074
You've served on a condo board?

249
00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:21,068
No, but I have a
brand-new garbage disposal.

250
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,505
-Hello, all.
-FRASIER: Daphne.

251
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:28,283
-Let me help you with those.
-DAPHNE: Oh, thanks.

252
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,500
I've had to lug these things five blocks.

253
00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:33,661
This morning, Mrs. Langer
gave me one of those "no-no" slips

254
00:14:33,745 --> 00:14:36,663
for parking in the same vacant
space I've been using for years.

255
00:14:36,747 --> 00:14:39,247
Oh, I'm sorry, Daphne.
I'm afraid this is my fault.

256
00:14:39,416 --> 00:14:41,458
Ms. Langer is simply
retaliating against me.

257
00:14:41,542 --> 00:14:47,130
You see, last night, I rather humiliated
her in a dazzling display of rhetoric.

258
00:14:47,339 --> 00:14:49,989
I heard you spilled your
briefcase all over the floor.

259
00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:54,719
This building has a grapevine
Ernest and Julio Gallo would envy!

260
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:58,220
Well, you know, perhaps I
should run against Ms. Langer.

261
00:14:58,305 --> 00:15:00,932
God knows she's ripe
for a good comeuppance.

262
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:03,518
I know exactly what you mean, Dr. Crane.

263
00:15:03,726 --> 00:15:06,185
I was standing behind her
in the elevator the other day,

264
00:15:06,269 --> 00:15:08,437
looking at the back of
her head, and I thought:

265
00:15:08,521 --> 00:15:11,023
"You know, several stout
whacks with a tire iron

266
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:13,540
and this building will be
a much happier place."

267
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:18,028
I'll just get these
bags off to the kitchen.

268
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:21,905
Frasier, this Langer woman sounds
if she wields considerable power.

269
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,656
What if you run against her and lose?

270
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:25,951
I'm with Niles. Let somebody else do it.

271
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,076
What an appalling expression of apathy!

272
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,579
What kind of a world would this
be if everyone thought that way?

273
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,912
Everyone does think that way.

274
00:15:31,996 --> 00:15:34,915
And look at the kind of world it is!
Corruption in high places.

275
00:15:34,999 --> 00:15:36,833
An electorate unconcerned with real issues

276
00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:39,169
because they're too consumed
with their own pleasures.

277
00:15:39,253 --> 00:15:42,171
-Is this eclair spoken for?
-It's mine. Put it back!

278
00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:46,258
Roz, don't you see? For it is if
you're not willing to get involved,

279
00:15:46,466 --> 00:15:49,843
then you have no right to grumble
when things don't go your way.

280
00:15:50,386 --> 00:15:53,846
Look at this. I got two slips for not
taking Eddie on the freight elevator.

281
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:55,264
It's ridiculous.

282
00:15:55,472 --> 00:15:57,307
Everybody uses the main elevator.

283
00:15:57,516 --> 00:16:00,726
Mrs. Tornquist has her dog,
Fluffy, in there all the time.

284
00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:02,353
Well, that's it.

285
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,312
I am running for condo board president.

286
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:06,481
A time comes in every
man's life when he must

287
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:08,065
meet face to face a challenge,

288
00:16:08,274 --> 00:16:10,224
rather than skitter away like a coward.

289
00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:13,251
Well, I'm proud of you, son.
That's the way a Crane talks.

290
00:16:13,987 --> 00:16:16,697
Oh, Dad, nice seeing you. I mean, not…

291
00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,418
DAPHNE: Okay, Eddie. Now.

292
00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:44,342
Good boy, Eddie. Now, go make dinner.

293
00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:52,015
It's just a little joke Eddie
and I have been working on.

294
00:16:53,933 --> 00:16:56,643
It's too bad. It explained so much.

295
00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:02,147
-What is this, another one?
-Oh, yes.

296
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,274
Seems your father got it last night.

297
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:07,484
I guess he's just refusing to
take Eddie in the freight elevator.

298
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,985
Of course, all that'll be
different once you're elected.

299
00:17:10,069 --> 00:17:13,155
We don't wanna jinx it. But I must
say, I think my chances are good

300
00:17:13,239 --> 00:17:16,742
after this missive I found
this morning on my windshield.

301
00:17:17,451 --> 00:17:18,868
It's from the resistance.

302
00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:24,623
"Dear Dr. Crane. We have polled
the building, the election is yours.

303
00:17:24,831 --> 00:17:27,958
Good work." Signed, Anonymous.

304
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:31,168
Wouldn't this be more
anonymous if it didn't say:

305
00:17:31,252 --> 00:17:33,837
"From the desk of Dr. William M. Dorfman"?

306
00:17:34,838 --> 00:17:37,215
Yes. Well, now you see why they need me.

307
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,050
My comfortable lead aside,

308
00:17:40,134 --> 00:17:42,969
I still wish I had a punchier
opening for the speech I wrote.

309
00:17:43,053 --> 00:17:45,471
Well, I'm running out of time.

310
00:17:46,263 --> 00:17:47,681
Unless…

311
00:17:48,098 --> 00:17:49,849
Yes.

312
00:17:50,016 --> 00:17:51,809
I think Ms. Langer may have given me

313
00:17:51,893 --> 00:17:54,728
the very ammunition I
need for my opening salvo.

314
00:17:54,936 --> 00:17:57,313
We'll just see how the
voters feel about a woman

315
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,149
who tries to persecute a disabled
ex-policeman and his loyal little dog.

316
00:18:02,108 --> 00:18:04,068
It'll be nice to live
where people can hang

317
00:18:04,152 --> 00:18:06,278
whatever they damn
well please on their door.

318
00:18:06,362 --> 00:18:10,156
Of course. Well, pending my approval.

319
00:18:11,908 --> 00:18:13,367
-Is he gone?
-DAPHNE: Yes.

320
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,369
-You're not avoiding him, are you?
-Well, yeah, kind of.

321
00:18:16,453 --> 00:18:19,997
I mean, it's pretty embarrassing about
getting caught last night in that hot tub.

322
00:18:20,081 --> 00:18:21,872
The whole building's talking about it.

323
00:18:21,956 --> 00:18:23,875
-What happened?
-You haven't heard?

324
00:18:24,084 --> 00:18:25,501
No.

325
00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:29,212
-Well, never mind.
-No, no, no. What?

326
00:18:29,379 --> 00:18:32,548
Well, after dinner last night,
my hip was getting kind of stiff,

327
00:18:32,714 --> 00:18:34,132
so I went down to the hot tub.

328
00:18:34,216 --> 00:18:37,217
You know how it is when you kick
on the jets and your trunks fill up

329
00:18:37,301 --> 00:18:39,512
-like a hot-air balloon.
-No, but go on.

330
00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:42,472
Well, nobody's around,
so I just slipped out of them

331
00:18:42,639 --> 00:18:44,015
and tossed them on the deck.

332
00:18:44,099 --> 00:18:46,649
-You mean, you were…
-Yeah, just floating free.

333
00:18:47,017 --> 00:18:49,477
So I'm just sitting there,
minding my own business

334
00:18:49,686 --> 00:18:51,586
and letting the bubbles do their work,

335
00:18:51,688 --> 00:18:53,647
and suddenly, old lady Langer shows up.

336
00:18:53,814 --> 00:18:57,316
She sees my trunks and writes me
out a "no-no" slip right there and then.

337
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,735
You mean the "no-no" slip was
for being naked in the hot tub?

338
00:19:00,944 --> 00:19:02,070
Yeah.

339
00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:06,281
I told Dr. Crane it was because
you took Eddie in the elevator.

340
00:19:06,448 --> 00:19:07,991
Oh, dear. I've got to get down

341
00:19:08,157 --> 00:19:10,243
-to that condo meeting.
-Why?

342
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,285
I don't know what's going on down there,

343
00:19:12,369 --> 00:19:14,469
but suddenly I have a very queasy feeling.

344
00:19:15,789 --> 00:19:19,166
Just what Ms. Langer said
when she tossed me my trunks.

345
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,086
And so you can vote for me,

346
00:19:24,294 --> 00:19:26,964
a person who has worked this past year

347
00:19:27,131 --> 00:19:30,591
to keep this building running smoothly,

348
00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:33,051
or you can turn the building over to a man

349
00:19:33,218 --> 00:19:36,637
who can scarcely keep
his own family under control.

350
00:19:38,222 --> 00:19:39,848
Thank you.

351
00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:47,729
Fellow condo owners,

352
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:51,440
I am sorry my opponent has chosen
to be vindictive about my family,

353
00:19:51,606 --> 00:19:54,006
but that is merely
characteristic of her behavior

354
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,819
during her entire term in office.

355
00:19:56,986 --> 00:19:59,863
How else would one explain this?

356
00:20:00,071 --> 00:20:01,864
This citation my father
received last night

357
00:20:01,948 --> 00:20:04,908
is a perfect example of the pettiness
of which this woman is capable.

358
00:20:04,992 --> 00:20:07,869
We're all aware of your
father's behavior last night.

359
00:20:08,077 --> 00:20:10,627
I'm surprised you're not
too ashamed to bring it up.

360
00:20:10,747 --> 00:20:12,789
Ashamed? Not at all.

361
00:20:12,956 --> 00:20:14,750
I defend his behavior!

362
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:17,459
So he had his little friend
out where he shouldn't be.

363
00:20:17,543 --> 00:20:20,462
So what? He's been doing it for years.

364
00:20:21,546 --> 00:20:23,964
You approve of his behavior?

365
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:26,091
Approve? I applaud it.

366
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,468
Have you no compassion?

367
00:20:28,968 --> 00:20:30,761
My father is getting older.

368
00:20:31,511 --> 00:20:33,597
He hasn't many pleasures left in life.

369
00:20:35,139 --> 00:20:37,725
I can't tell you the hours of joy

370
00:20:37,892 --> 00:20:39,976
that that little guy has brought him.

371
00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,312
And not just him.

372
00:20:43,771 --> 00:20:48,274
Who among us can't help but break
into a smile upon seeing the little fella?

373
00:20:49,776 --> 00:20:52,110
Oh, I know, you know,
sometimes it is irksome

374
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:54,695
when his little Eddie appears
at inopportune moments…

375
00:20:54,779 --> 00:20:56,447
He's named it "Eddie"?

376
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,489
Not exactly a name
that I might have chosen.

377
00:20:58,573 --> 00:21:00,700
I might have gone with
something a bit more,

378
00:21:00,784 --> 00:21:02,934
I don't know, whimsical, like… Oh, "Puck."

379
00:21:04,787 --> 00:21:06,161
You know, the frolicsome sprite

380
00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:08,205
from Shakespeare's
<i>Midsummer Night's Dream.</i>

381
00:21:08,289 --> 00:21:10,041
Oh, don't look so shocked.

382
00:21:10,248 --> 00:21:13,960
Whom does it really harm if he
unleashes Eddie once in a while?

383
00:21:14,418 --> 00:21:16,503
It's not as though he's
alone in such behavior.

384
00:21:16,587 --> 00:21:19,787
Mrs. Tornquist, I've seen you
do the same thing with your Fluffy.

385
00:21:20,465 --> 00:21:24,343
You know, if you ask me, not only is
his behavior harmless, it's laudable.

386
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:27,929
Why, you should see the looks
on the faces of the school children

387
00:21:28,095 --> 00:21:30,195
when he takes Eddie out by the playground.

388
00:21:34,099 --> 00:21:35,476
What, what, what?

389
00:21:43,315 --> 00:21:44,858
On the other hand,

390
00:21:46,192 --> 00:21:47,652
we all need rules.

391
00:21:47,819 --> 00:21:49,320
Go, go, go!

392
00:21:53,073 --> 00:21:54,782
Sorry about the knocker.