1 00:00:10,070 --> 00:00:12,739 [SHOWER RUNNING] 2 00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:37,261 Whoa. 3 00:01:01,616 --> 00:01:03,576 Well, look who's up. 4 00:01:13,001 --> 00:01:16,838 BOY: It's my parents. I don't know, they're just, like, really stupid. 5 00:01:16,922 --> 00:01:19,174 -May I ask how old you are? -Fourteen. 6 00:01:19,717 --> 00:01:22,009 Well, hang on, Jimmy. Your parents are gonna be stupid 7 00:01:22,093 --> 00:01:23,720 for another seven years. 8 00:01:25,096 --> 00:01:26,847 Whoa, seven years? 9 00:01:26,931 --> 00:01:29,266 That's, like, longer than I'll be in high school. 10 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,893 I salute your optimism. 11 00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:34,020 We'll be right back after this. 12 00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:38,900 Oh, God, Roz. A teenager who's embarrassed by his parents? 13 00:01:38,984 --> 00:01:41,943 Can't you come up with something a little more challenging for me? 14 00:01:42,027 --> 00:01:44,696 It was either him or our old pal Rudy, the crier. 15 00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:47,616 Rudy, the crier. He's been on three times in the last month. 16 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:50,952 You put him on again, he won't be the only one who's crying. 17 00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:53,788 God, I'm in a dry spell. 18 00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:56,290 Where are the souls of genuine torment? 19 00:01:56,374 --> 00:01:59,669 The people teetering on the brink of genuine despair? 20 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:03,505 Oh, they'll be back. The holidays are just around the corner. 21 00:02:03,589 --> 00:02:05,131 Well, perhaps you're right. 22 00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:06,633 Oh, Roz. 23 00:02:06,717 --> 00:02:09,219 -I've a question I'd like to ask you. -Shoot. 24 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:13,597 Have you ever had a recurring dream of an intimate nature about someone… 25 00:02:13,681 --> 00:02:16,183 Well, a coworker? 26 00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,727 -Oh, no, why'd you tell me? -Oh, Roz. 27 00:02:18,811 --> 00:02:21,980 Now it's gonna be creepy every time you look at me through the glass. 28 00:02:22,064 --> 00:02:23,608 Roz, not you! 29 00:02:24,024 --> 00:02:26,317 -Who was it then? -I'm not gonna go into specifics. 30 00:02:26,401 --> 00:02:28,486 -Gina in accounting? -I'm not gonna do this. 31 00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:31,907 -Oh, Sheila, the slow intern? -Forget I even mentioned it. 32 00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:34,117 Knock, knock. 33 00:02:35,034 --> 00:02:36,618 Gil. 34 00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:38,954 Frasier, I've come to tempt you. 35 00:02:39,038 --> 00:02:40,206 Really? 36 00:02:41,665 --> 00:02:45,876 I am reviewing the new pastry chef at Chez Shea. And I quote: 37 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,003 "His amaretto éclair is so sinful, 38 00:02:48,087 --> 00:02:51,883 it will send you scurrying to your local padre for absolution." 39 00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,344 No, thank you, Gil. I'm on a diet, you see. 40 00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:59,728 -Oh, come now, you know you want it. -No, no, no, I really don't. 41 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,852 Off you go. Bye-bye. 42 00:03:03,936 --> 00:03:05,770 -Oh, my God! -What? 43 00:03:05,854 --> 00:03:07,354 -It was Gil! -I never said that. 44 00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,148 -Then why are you blushing? -Ridiculous! 45 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,899 -Your ears are turning red. -I am not. 46 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,819 You are. 47 00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:18,532 Still not blushing. 48 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,452 MAN [CRYING]: Just lying there in the hospital bed, 49 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,829 she lifted her head off the pillow, 50 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:31,042 looked up and said, "I love you." And then she was gone. 51 00:03:31,126 --> 00:03:33,379 Rudy, stop crying. 52 00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:36,965 Now, we've gone over this before. 53 00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,968 What was our agreement about sad movies? 54 00:03:42,303 --> 00:03:45,806 -I shouldn't watch them. -Exactly. 55 00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:47,600 Now, go get a cool washcloth 56 00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:49,976 to try to bring down the puffiness around your eyes, 57 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:53,730 and please stay away from sad or depressing things. 58 00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:57,317 Which, at this moment, includes listening to The Frasier Crane Show. 59 00:03:58,402 --> 00:04:00,027 Well, let's shoot it to the news. 60 00:04:00,111 --> 00:04:03,990 That's it for today. This is Dr. Frasier Crane. 61 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:08,285 Oh, my God! Well, close the record books. 62 00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:11,871 That was just the dullest three hours in the history of The Frasier Crane Show. 63 00:04:11,955 --> 00:04:13,623 Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad. 64 00:04:13,707 --> 00:04:16,292 What about the woman who was so concerned about her appearance 65 00:04:16,376 --> 00:04:19,126 -she wouldn't leave the house? -That was a commercial! 66 00:04:19,963 --> 00:04:23,048 I believe Miss Clairol solved the problem. 67 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,634 Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Roz. Oh, Roz. 68 00:04:25,718 --> 00:04:28,345 About that dream I mentioned to you earlier… 69 00:04:28,846 --> 00:04:31,263 It goes without saying, I'd rather you didn't share that. 70 00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:34,017 -Oh, sure. -Hi, dream boy. 71 00:04:36,144 --> 00:04:38,020 I hate you. 72 00:04:38,104 --> 00:04:39,980 Couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you? 73 00:04:40,064 --> 00:04:42,357 Just when did you find the time to spread the news? 74 00:04:42,441 --> 00:04:45,235 You don't think I was listening to your show, do you? 75 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,905 BULLDOG: Coming through! 76 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,032 Oh, Doc, I gotta rub this one in a little. 77 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,283 All right, Bulldog, before you start to ridicule me, 78 00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:55,285 yes, yes, I had a dream about Gil, 79 00:04:55,369 --> 00:04:59,289 and, yes, it did have some erotic elements, but… 80 00:04:59,373 --> 00:05:01,792 You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? 81 00:05:01,876 --> 00:05:04,169 I do now. Whoa! 82 00:05:06,087 --> 00:05:07,505 Look, let's just forget it. 83 00:05:07,589 --> 00:05:09,715 What delightful jibe did you have prepared for me? 84 00:05:09,799 --> 00:05:12,885 Oh, I was gonna tell you your show today just broke the snooze-o-meter, 85 00:05:12,969 --> 00:05:16,513 but now I wanna hear about you greasing Gil's cookie sheet. 86 00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:20,059 I'm on a bus to hell. 87 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,023 So I returned to the dry cleaners yet a third time. 88 00:05:28,107 --> 00:05:30,526 I hardly need to tell you how the story ends. 89 00:05:30,610 --> 00:05:32,654 Just tell me when the story ends. 90 00:05:34,322 --> 00:05:37,156 Fine. They realigned my pleats. The end. 91 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,493 I'm sorry, Niles. I'm just a bit distracted today. 92 00:05:40,577 --> 00:05:43,955 See, this morning a man from my building, 93 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,914 approached me with an intriguing problem. 94 00:05:45,998 --> 00:05:48,584 Seems he's been having a recurring dream. 95 00:05:48,668 --> 00:05:51,461 Please, that little gambit didn't work when we were in knee socks. 96 00:05:51,545 --> 00:05:54,298 -What was your dream, Frasier? -Oh, all right. 97 00:05:55,007 --> 00:05:58,307 It's been tormenting me. I haven't been able to sleep in weeks now. 98 00:05:59,386 --> 00:06:03,890 It's a bit hazy, but it starts out in a seedy motel room. 99 00:06:03,974 --> 00:06:05,892 -I'm naked. -Interesting. 100 00:06:05,976 --> 00:06:09,644 Yes, well, I roll over and discover on my forearm 101 00:06:09,728 --> 00:06:12,772 a tattoo with the word "chesty." 102 00:06:12,856 --> 00:06:15,942 -Interesting. -Yes. And then the shower turns off. 103 00:06:16,026 --> 00:06:18,194 Out from the bathroom steps… 104 00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,363 A man. 105 00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:24,999 All right, go ahead, let me have it. 106 00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:28,518 Are you saying that now, or is that a quote from the dream? 107 00:06:30,914 --> 00:06:32,582 Please. 108 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:36,461 We're too intelligent to waste time on the obvious interpretation. 109 00:06:36,545 --> 00:06:39,922 Yes. But you must admit it's rather intriguing. 110 00:06:40,006 --> 00:06:41,423 Would you stop? 111 00:06:41,507 --> 00:06:44,301 It's obviously screaming for a Jungian interpretation. 112 00:06:44,385 --> 00:06:46,595 The sexuality in the dream is surely symbolic 113 00:06:46,679 --> 00:06:49,014 of some deeper non-sexual conflict. 114 00:06:49,098 --> 00:06:52,308 -All right. -Good afternoon, Frasier. 115 00:06:53,184 --> 00:06:55,436 -Gil. -A little birdie tells me, 116 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,148 I was featured in your midnight movie. 117 00:06:59,524 --> 00:07:01,024 Very clever. Off you go. 118 00:07:01,108 --> 00:07:02,817 Very well. See you tomorrow, 119 00:07:02,901 --> 00:07:05,237 or should I say, see you in your dreams. 120 00:07:08,282 --> 00:07:10,241 In this dream of yours, were there any cigars, 121 00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:13,160 bananas or short, blunt swords? 122 00:07:13,244 --> 00:07:17,081 Would you stop it? I'm 43, a little late for latency. 123 00:07:17,749 --> 00:07:19,625 -You guys okay over here? -We're fine. 124 00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,876 Well, you must be new here. 125 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,170 I would've remembered such a pretty face as yours. 126 00:07:24,254 --> 00:07:26,297 -You're overcompensating. -Right. 127 00:07:26,381 --> 00:07:27,716 We're fine. Bye-bye. 128 00:07:30,552 --> 00:07:34,805 I'm just baffled by it. Gil Chesterton explains "chesty," but little else. 129 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:37,349 You should tackle this from a free-association standpoint. 130 00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:40,268 -Oh, God. Must we? -Focus on a detail in the motel room. 131 00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:42,702 What's the first thing that pops into your mind? 132 00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:44,480 A crescent-shaped lamp. 133 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,692 Perfect. A crescent-shaped lamp. Run with that. 134 00:07:47,776 --> 00:07:49,402 Crescent. Moon. 135 00:07:49,486 --> 00:07:51,404 Daphne Moon. French maid. 136 00:07:51,488 --> 00:07:53,655 -Brass bed. Satin rope. -Niles! 137 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:59,077 -This is my dream. -I was just showing you the process. 138 00:07:59,161 --> 00:08:01,413 You were three words away from a cigarette. 139 00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:04,790 -Your turn. -All right. 140 00:08:04,874 --> 00:08:07,085 -Crescent lamp. -Crescent. 141 00:08:08,294 --> 00:08:09,670 Croissant. 142 00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:12,423 Butter. Apricot jam. 143 00:08:13,382 --> 00:08:15,675 Hunger. Food. Diet. 144 00:08:16,176 --> 00:08:18,845 My God, I've been on a diet. Do you think that's useful? 145 00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:21,014 You could stand to lose a few pounds. 146 00:08:22,641 --> 00:08:24,309 Just wait a minute. 147 00:08:24,935 --> 00:08:27,644 All right, Gil is a restaurant critic. He's a gourmet. 148 00:08:27,728 --> 00:08:30,188 Perhaps he's symbolic of the food I've been denying myself. 149 00:08:30,272 --> 00:08:31,815 That would explain why you're naked. 150 00:08:31,899 --> 00:08:34,317 It's when we're most self-conscious about our bodies. 151 00:08:34,401 --> 00:08:37,570 Yes, and most vulnerable to the way society tattoos us, 152 00:08:37,654 --> 00:08:40,865 with labels about our appearance. Oh, my God, that's it, Niles. 153 00:08:40,949 --> 00:08:44,160 The dream is simply telling me that I've been too rigid about my diet. 154 00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:46,703 You'll know tonight. If this is the correct interpretation, 155 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,914 the conflict will have passed from your unconscious to your conscious mind. 156 00:08:49,998 --> 00:08:52,000 Yes. The dream will have served its purpose. 157 00:08:52,084 --> 00:08:55,587 -And you'll no longer be plagued by it. -Oh, God. I've nailed it. I really have. 158 00:08:55,671 --> 00:08:57,463 Finally, for the first time in weeks, 159 00:08:57,547 --> 00:09:02,593 there'll be no tequila bottles, no tattoo, no half-naked man in my bed. 160 00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:05,429 So then the rabbi says… 161 00:09:09,474 --> 00:09:12,144 [SHOWER RUNNING] 162 00:09:25,239 --> 00:09:26,907 [SHOWER STOPS RUNNING] 163 00:09:34,038 --> 00:09:36,165 Oh, I'm sorry. 164 00:09:36,249 --> 00:09:37,667 Wrong room. 165 00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:44,214 That does it. We're finding another motel. 166 00:09:44,756 --> 00:09:46,550 Oh, God. 167 00:09:54,432 --> 00:09:55,892 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 168 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,561 Hello. 169 00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:04,398 Someone followed me again last night. 170 00:10:04,482 --> 00:10:06,234 You're just being paranoid. 171 00:10:06,318 --> 00:10:07,860 I'm telling you, they're on to me. 172 00:10:07,944 --> 00:10:12,281 Come on, nobody could recognize you after all that plastic surgery. 173 00:10:13,991 --> 00:10:15,367 That's what Marlena thought. 174 00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:19,038 Marlena got sloppy. She never should've gone back to Zürich. 175 00:10:20,789 --> 00:10:22,873 I just don't want any more bloodshed. 176 00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:25,543 [WHISPERS] Relax, you're home-free. 177 00:10:25,627 --> 00:10:28,754 You don't know the Woodchuck and his ways. 178 00:10:28,838 --> 00:10:30,256 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 179 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:41,057 -Oh, we're terrible. -We are? You are. 180 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,101 "The Woodchuck and his ways"? 181 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:45,686 You know, we really should stop doing this. It's not nice. 182 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,189 Yeah, you're right. We won't do it anymore. 183 00:10:57,614 --> 00:10:59,782 How'd you get the stuff through customs? 184 00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:02,160 They never check the wooden leg. 185 00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:06,913 The answer has got to be in there somewhere. 186 00:11:06,997 --> 00:11:11,042 Here's something. "Dreams as an expression of wish-fulfillment." 187 00:11:11,126 --> 00:11:13,003 Moving on. 188 00:11:14,755 --> 00:11:16,547 Goodness, are you two still here? 189 00:11:16,631 --> 00:11:18,382 -What are you working on? -Nothing. 190 00:11:18,466 --> 00:11:21,166 I'm helping Frasier interpret a dream he's been having. 191 00:11:22,136 --> 00:11:24,555 You know, maybe Dad can help. 192 00:11:24,639 --> 00:11:26,139 No, no, no. No, no, no. 193 00:11:26,223 --> 00:11:29,100 Don't want to bore Dad with the details of this particular dream. 194 00:11:29,184 --> 00:11:31,311 Dreams can be rooted in childhood experience. 195 00:11:31,395 --> 00:11:33,313 Maybe Dad remembers something you repressed. 196 00:11:33,397 --> 00:11:35,648 Gee, I don't know. If it's about when you were a kid, 197 00:11:35,732 --> 00:11:37,692 I've repressed a lot of that myself. 198 00:11:38,818 --> 00:11:41,737 This is not a dream I wish to share with Dad, thank you very much. 199 00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:43,614 We've exhausted every other interpretation, 200 00:11:43,698 --> 00:11:45,991 so I guess it's back to dreams as wish-fulfillment. 201 00:11:46,075 --> 00:11:49,160 Oh, Dad, would you mind listening to my dream 202 00:11:49,244 --> 00:11:51,621 to see if it conjures up any memories from my childhood? 203 00:11:51,705 --> 00:11:53,706 Oh, come on, you're making too much out of this. 204 00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:55,291 It's a dream. Dreams are weird. 205 00:11:55,375 --> 00:11:58,418 Okay, please, Dad, I wouldn't ask if it weren't really bothering me. 206 00:11:58,502 --> 00:12:00,587 -Oh, all right. Go on. -All right now. 207 00:12:00,671 --> 00:12:02,923 It starts out in a little motel room. 208 00:12:03,007 --> 00:12:06,051 I have a tattoo on my arm, "chesty." 209 00:12:06,135 --> 00:12:08,552 See? That's weird. 210 00:12:08,636 --> 00:12:11,222 Yes, but then out from the bathroom steps a… 211 00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:12,723 All right, now before I continue, 212 00:12:12,807 --> 00:12:16,607 just let me remind you that this is a dream, not to be confused with reality. 213 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:19,438 Out from the bathroom steps a… 214 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:21,398 Man… 215 00:12:22,232 --> 00:12:23,983 Eating lion. 216 00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:25,818 Oh, see? 217 00:12:25,902 --> 00:12:27,779 There again, weird. 218 00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:31,823 Look, dreams come, they go. They don't mean anything. 219 00:12:31,907 --> 00:12:34,868 Except if you're lucky once in a while, you might have one that's fun. 220 00:12:34,952 --> 00:12:37,621 Like, you know, you're hitting a home run in the World Series, 221 00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:39,998 or you're in the jungle with Jayne Mansfield 222 00:12:40,082 --> 00:12:42,875 -and she gets bit by a snake. -Thank you, Dad. 223 00:12:42,959 --> 00:12:45,378 -You know who Jayne Mansfield is? -Yes, Dad. 224 00:12:45,462 --> 00:12:48,256 -Know what they do when you're bit? -Yes, Dad. 225 00:12:49,716 --> 00:12:52,968 Wish I knew what I had for dinner that night. 226 00:12:53,052 --> 00:12:56,263 Oh, I get it. "Chesty" refers to Gil Chesterton. 227 00:12:56,347 --> 00:12:58,849 Niles, you gossipy fishwife. 228 00:12:59,558 --> 00:13:01,642 There's no reason to feel self-conscious, Dr. Crane. 229 00:13:01,726 --> 00:13:03,560 We've all had dreams like that. 230 00:13:03,644 --> 00:13:07,022 I had one about a girl I shared a flat with once. A gymnast. 231 00:13:07,106 --> 00:13:09,817 Go on, Daphne. This could be significant. 232 00:13:09,901 --> 00:13:14,779 Well, I remember we were doing stretches in the gymnasium, 233 00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:17,156 when suddenly we decided to take off all our clothes 234 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,410 and go for a bounce on the trampoline. 235 00:13:20,494 --> 00:13:23,412 The next thing you know, I'm chasing her around the pommel horse and… 236 00:13:23,496 --> 00:13:24,955 Oh, never mind. 237 00:13:25,039 --> 00:13:26,499 Don't stop now. 238 00:13:29,293 --> 00:13:30,753 This could help us. 239 00:13:34,464 --> 00:13:37,174 Well, actually, I do have a theory of me own about your dream, 240 00:13:37,258 --> 00:13:39,760 -if you'd like to hear it. -What the hell. 241 00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:45,015 Well, in your dream, who was in the shower? Gil. 242 00:13:45,099 --> 00:13:47,684 What is a shower? Running water. 243 00:13:47,768 --> 00:13:50,312 Who needs water? Fish. 244 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,439 What do fish have? Gills. 245 00:13:52,523 --> 00:13:54,816 Do you see where I'm going? 246 00:13:56,901 --> 00:13:58,444 Insane. 247 00:13:59,612 --> 00:14:03,073 It could be a dream about the loss of a beloved childhood pet. 248 00:14:03,157 --> 00:14:06,784 Thanks a lot, Eddie. Forty-five minutes in the park, you don't have to go. 249 00:14:06,868 --> 00:14:09,662 I get one bite into my sandwich, and you give me the look. 250 00:14:09,746 --> 00:14:12,957 Mr. Crane, did Dr. Crane ever have a goldfish growing up? 251 00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:14,709 -A fish? -Yes, as a pet. 252 00:14:14,793 --> 00:14:16,877 How would I know? That was Hester's department. 253 00:14:16,961 --> 00:14:18,462 Come on, let's go. 254 00:14:19,088 --> 00:14:21,631 Frasier, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 255 00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:23,633 That Dad can interpret the looks from his dog 256 00:14:23,717 --> 00:14:26,844 and has only the spottiest recollections of our childhood? 257 00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:29,388 No, no, no. Hester. 258 00:14:29,472 --> 00:14:33,309 Hesty. The tattoo. That's only one letter away from chesty. 259 00:14:33,393 --> 00:14:36,729 Then are you saying that the dream could have been about Mother? 260 00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:38,229 Well? 261 00:14:38,313 --> 00:14:40,148 I suppose I could've misread the tattoo. 262 00:14:40,232 --> 00:14:44,194 Yes, this freckle pattern here on my arm could be mistaken for a C. 263 00:14:44,278 --> 00:14:47,239 And what swims in the sea? Fish. 264 00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:52,910 All right, all right. I'll go. 265 00:14:52,994 --> 00:14:55,829 Well, so, the tattoo could've said "Hesty." 266 00:14:55,913 --> 00:14:58,664 But the problem is I don't ever remember Dad calling Mom that. 267 00:14:58,748 --> 00:15:00,249 But who's to say he didn't? 268 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,710 [GASPS] 269 00:15:03,462 --> 00:15:05,421 -NILES, FRASIER: Dad, Dad, Dad. -What? 270 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,590 Did you ever have a nickname for Mother? 271 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,425 Oh, for God's sakes, this to do with that stupid dream? 272 00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,511 -Dad, this is really important. -Any pet name? 273 00:15:12,595 --> 00:15:14,262 A term of endearment? 274 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:18,683 Well, when we were first married, I used to call her "honey." 275 00:15:18,767 --> 00:15:21,894 And then there was a time after that that I started calling her "sweetie." 276 00:15:21,978 --> 00:15:25,314 I'm sure there's a delicious anecdote behind each one of those, 277 00:15:25,398 --> 00:15:28,651 but did you ever call her Hesty? 278 00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:31,820 -Hesty? -Oh, come on! Think, man! 279 00:15:31,904 --> 00:15:34,823 Even once. Once in all the years you lived together? 280 00:15:34,907 --> 00:15:37,158 Well, I don't know. I mean, I guess. 281 00:15:37,242 --> 00:15:39,619 -Maybe once, you know. -Oh, thank you, Dad. 282 00:15:39,703 --> 00:15:41,328 Well, there it is. 283 00:15:41,412 --> 00:15:43,330 I must have heard him call her Hesty once, 284 00:15:43,414 --> 00:15:46,166 and neatly tucked it away into my subconscious. 285 00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:48,335 Of course. It's so obvious. 286 00:15:48,419 --> 00:15:51,505 Gil is a food critic. Food. Criticism. 287 00:15:51,589 --> 00:15:53,006 [IN UNISON] Mother! 288 00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:57,009 It's the classic Oedipal dream. 289 00:15:57,093 --> 00:16:00,346 Yes. Only I was so frightened by my sexual urges to be with my mother 290 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:02,932 that I transformed her into a man. 291 00:16:04,725 --> 00:16:07,519 Oh, what a relief. I've been wringing my hands over nothing. 292 00:16:07,603 --> 00:16:11,023 I mean it's okay. All I want to do is have sex with my dead mother. 293 00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:19,155 [SHOWER RUNNING] 294 00:16:32,042 --> 00:16:33,585 [SHOWER STOPS RUNNING] 295 00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:40,841 Mom? 296 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,303 Mommy? 297 00:16:47,055 --> 00:16:48,932 Patience, Daddy. 298 00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,611 [MARTIN GRUNTS] 299 00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:05,572 You'd think by now I'd know better than to have that third Slim Jim 300 00:17:05,656 --> 00:17:08,116 before going to bed. 301 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,621 -You couldn't sleep either, huh? -No. 302 00:17:13,705 --> 00:17:17,665 Frankly, I'm sort of afraid to go back to sleep. It's that damn dream again. 303 00:17:17,749 --> 00:17:19,876 Oh, what are you worried about? It's just a dream. 304 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,419 Worst case scenario: 305 00:17:21,503 --> 00:17:24,798 The man-eating lion leaps on top of you and mauls you. 306 00:17:27,508 --> 00:17:30,385 I'm sorry, Dad. I wasn't completely truthful with you before. 307 00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:34,473 The dream is really about me in a motel room with a male companion, 308 00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:35,933 Gil Chesterton. 309 00:17:36,601 --> 00:17:39,060 You don't care if I ever sleep again, do you? 310 00:17:40,186 --> 00:17:42,104 Dad, please. I'd really like to discuss this. 311 00:17:42,188 --> 00:17:44,649 MARTIN: No, Frasier, please. This makes me very uncomfortable. 312 00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:46,609 -FRASIER: Dad, please? -I know, I know. 313 00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:49,486 In your generation, men talk about everything. 314 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,363 Everything's out in the open. 315 00:17:51,447 --> 00:17:55,492 You know, what really drives me crazy is the way you all touch each other. 316 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:58,286 Everybody hugs, you know. 317 00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,080 In my generation, it was a handshake. 318 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,831 That was good enough, 319 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,959 and maybe if you felt especially close to someone, 320 00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:08,337 you could touch them on the shoulder, but never for more than two seconds. 321 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,755 And don't talk to me about football players 322 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:14,425 patting people's butts and everything because that's different. That's sports. 323 00:18:14,509 --> 00:18:17,345 -That's like war. Now, good night, son. -Dad! 324 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,639 If you wanna tell me something, write it on a Post-it, 325 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:23,141 -and stick it on the fridge. -Look, I really want to talk about this. 326 00:18:23,225 --> 00:18:25,727 I've exhausted every other interpretation of this dream. 327 00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:28,730 Is it possible my subconscious is trying to tell me 328 00:18:28,814 --> 00:18:30,607 something about my sexuality? 329 00:18:30,691 --> 00:18:32,734 -Oh, that's ridiculous! -Is it? 330 00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:35,570 I was sensitive as a child. 331 00:18:35,654 --> 00:18:37,154 I didn't go in for sports. 332 00:18:37,238 --> 00:18:38,990 God, it's every cliché in the book. 333 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,242 Surely it must have occurred to you at some point. 334 00:18:41,326 --> 00:18:44,035 You refused to take me to see West Side Story on my birthday. 335 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,245 Well, because of the gangs. 336 00:18:45,329 --> 00:18:47,581 -That's scary for kids. -Even gangs that dance? 337 00:18:47,665 --> 00:18:50,167 Especially gangs that dance. 338 00:18:53,252 --> 00:18:56,880 All right, yeah, okay. Yeah, I thought about it, 339 00:18:56,964 --> 00:19:00,092 but, no, Frasier, no. I don't believe that. 340 00:19:00,176 --> 00:19:03,220 And you know why? Because you would've known by now. 341 00:19:03,887 --> 00:19:06,264 Your unconscious or whatever the hell you call it 342 00:19:06,348 --> 00:19:09,476 could no more have kept its yap shut than the rest of you. 343 00:19:11,728 --> 00:19:13,313 -I suppose you're right. -Yeah. 344 00:19:13,397 --> 00:19:14,813 Now, come on, it's after 3. 345 00:19:14,897 --> 00:19:17,024 You're gonna be worn out before the show tomorrow. 346 00:19:17,108 --> 00:19:20,110 -What a tragedy that would be. -Now what're you complaining about? 347 00:19:20,194 --> 00:19:22,029 Oh, no, just… 348 00:19:22,113 --> 00:19:24,322 I haven't had any really interesting calls lately. 349 00:19:24,406 --> 00:19:26,949 I'm beginning to question whether I'm bored with psychiatry. 350 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:30,787 You'd never know it the way you got your nose stuck in all those books. 351 00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:33,122 That's true. 352 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:34,873 The one saving grace about this dream 353 00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:37,959 is it's given me a chance to flex my analytical muscle a bit. 354 00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:39,920 So maybe it wasn't so bad after all. 355 00:19:40,504 --> 00:19:41,964 Wait a minute. 356 00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:45,258 Could that be what this has been all about? 357 00:19:45,342 --> 00:19:47,843 I've been so intellectually unchallenged lately by my show 358 00:19:47,927 --> 00:19:52,514 that my mind had to create a dream that defies interpretation 359 00:19:52,598 --> 00:19:55,601 -just to give me a challenge? -I don't know, keep talking. 360 00:19:55,685 --> 00:19:57,519 You're making me sleepy. 361 00:19:59,479 --> 00:20:00,897 Dad, no, that's got to be it! 362 00:20:00,981 --> 00:20:04,359 My show hasn't provided me with a single patient worthy of my skills. 363 00:20:04,443 --> 00:20:06,818 And I had to invent one myself. Me. 364 00:20:06,902 --> 00:20:09,363 Oh, God, what a relief. 365 00:20:09,447 --> 00:20:12,240 At last, finally, to bed. Dad, you witnessed an epiphany. 366 00:20:12,324 --> 00:20:14,576 MARTIN: Yeah, God, I gotta get you to put this on tape. 367 00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,244 FRASIER: Well, off we go. 368 00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:19,914 To sleep, perchance not to dream. 369 00:20:25,336 --> 00:20:26,588 [MOANS] 370 00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:33,969 [SHOWER NOT RUNNING] 371 00:20:41,726 --> 00:20:43,603 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 372 00:20:46,522 --> 00:20:48,065 Come in. 373 00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,902 Dr. Crane? Dr. Sigmund Freud. 374 00:20:52,986 --> 00:20:56,698 -My goodness, this is quite an honor. -The honor is all mine. 375 00:20:56,782 --> 00:21:00,659 I gave you a complex psychological problem, and you solved it. 376 00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:02,911 -Thank you… -You're a brilliant psychiatrist. 377 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:07,165 Oh, that's very flattering, but there are so many things I'd like to ask you. 378 00:21:07,249 --> 00:21:09,376 In good time, my boy, in good time. 379 00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:12,879 Right now we have more important matters.