1 00:00:02,329 --> 00:00:04,164 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:10,128 --> 00:00:12,255 ROZ: Faster, Frasier, faster! 3 00:00:12,339 --> 00:00:13,923 You can make that light! 4 00:00:14,007 --> 00:00:15,675 Oh, stop, you're gonna get us killed! 5 00:00:15,759 --> 00:00:20,012 I can't be late for this date. Right! Take a right here! 6 00:00:20,096 --> 00:00:21,431 Oh, this is ridiculous! 7 00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:23,224 First the dry cleaners, then the ATM, 8 00:00:23,308 --> 00:00:25,435 now you make me cart you off to some restaurant. 9 00:00:25,519 --> 00:00:28,312 I'm sorry. I didn't plan for my car to be in the shop. 10 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:31,023 I really, really appreciate it, Frasier. 11 00:00:31,107 --> 00:00:34,610 Oh, a basket of fruit would suffice. 12 00:00:34,694 --> 00:00:36,863 I am changing for my date. 13 00:00:36,947 --> 00:00:39,657 Don't look at me. Turn around. Turn all the way around. 14 00:00:39,741 --> 00:00:41,910 -I'm driving! -Fine, fine. 15 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,164 -Hand me my jeans, will you? -Here. 16 00:00:48,208 --> 00:00:49,417 Oh, oh, great. 17 00:00:49,501 --> 00:00:52,546 This is just what I need. There's a police car behind us. 18 00:00:53,381 --> 00:00:56,091 Please, don't turn on the red light. Don't turn on the red light. 19 00:00:56,175 --> 00:00:58,803 -Don't turn on the red light. -Damn it, Frasier! 20 00:01:01,764 --> 00:01:03,932 Don't worry, Frasier, you're not gonna get a ticket. 21 00:01:04,016 --> 00:01:06,101 You're a celebrity. Use a little juice. 22 00:01:06,185 --> 00:01:09,735 -Oh, I refuse to do anything of the sort. -Well, enjoy traffic school. 23 00:01:14,026 --> 00:01:15,444 Good evening, Officer. 24 00:01:15,528 --> 00:01:16,821 I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. 25 00:01:18,281 --> 00:01:20,031 If that's a problem, I'm listening. 26 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:23,286 You were going 62 in a 40-mile zone. 27 00:01:24,871 --> 00:01:26,664 Well, this is interesting. 28 00:01:27,790 --> 00:01:31,460 -Usually both people are in the back seat. -It's not what you think. 29 00:01:32,753 --> 00:01:37,424 We were just coming back from KACL where I do my radio show. 30 00:01:37,508 --> 00:01:38,467 Uh-huh. 31 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,722 You see, we ran a little late 'cause I was on with a very troubled caller 32 00:01:43,806 --> 00:01:46,183 with a very complex psychological problem… 33 00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:48,978 On my radio show. 34 00:01:50,396 --> 00:01:53,149 Hey, wait a minute. You're Dr. Frasier Crane! 35 00:01:53,816 --> 00:01:56,485 Drat! My cover is blown. 36 00:01:57,486 --> 00:01:59,613 I love your show. I listen to it all the time. 37 00:01:59,697 --> 00:02:01,532 Oh, well, thank you. Thank you very much. 38 00:02:01,616 --> 00:02:04,866 -It's always a pleasure to… -License and registration, please. 39 00:02:05,828 --> 00:02:07,538 I'm being arrested by a fan. 40 00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:14,712 Roz, if you could delay ablutions, I am in custody here. 41 00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:18,925 Hey, it's your birthday today. 42 00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:21,260 Is this a little celebration? 43 00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:26,265 No, no, I'm simply taking my producer to meet her date. 44 00:02:27,099 --> 00:02:29,351 Frasier, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? 45 00:02:29,435 --> 00:02:31,645 I'd have thrown you a birthday party at the station. 46 00:02:31,729 --> 00:02:34,023 Question asked, question answered. 47 00:02:35,399 --> 00:02:37,484 I'm just going to be dropping Roz off, 48 00:02:37,568 --> 00:02:41,740 have a cold plate of deli, get to bed early. 49 00:02:42,908 --> 00:02:45,243 Almost makes you feel sorry for me, doesn't it? 50 00:02:46,495 --> 00:02:50,623 I spent my last birthday subduing a drunk and disorderly at a sleazy bar. 51 00:02:50,707 --> 00:02:52,625 Don't you hate to work on your birthday? 52 00:02:52,709 --> 00:02:54,169 He was my date. 53 00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:58,047 Tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna let you off. 54 00:02:58,131 --> 00:03:00,008 Just think of this as a little birthday gift from me. 55 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:02,386 -Thank you. -But slow down. 56 00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:05,639 I'd hate to see you get hurt. 57 00:03:06,848 --> 00:03:07,849 I'm listening. 58 00:03:11,853 --> 00:03:12,854 Hey 59 00:03:14,564 --> 00:03:15,398 let's go. 60 00:03:15,482 --> 00:03:18,944 Well, did you sense a little moment there? 61 00:03:19,695 --> 00:03:21,195 What are you talking about? 62 00:03:21,279 --> 00:03:23,615 Between me and that very attractive officer. 63 00:03:23,699 --> 00:03:26,701 It just felt like there was something there. 64 00:03:26,785 --> 00:03:29,579 Yeah, major sparks. Now it's the right pedal. 65 00:03:29,663 --> 00:03:31,497 -The big pedal on the right. -Just a minute. 66 00:03:31,581 --> 00:03:33,166 I want to see if she's watching me. 67 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:35,418 If she's watching, it means she's interested. 68 00:03:35,502 --> 00:03:37,962 Oh, yes, oh, oh, she's turning around. 69 00:03:38,046 --> 00:03:40,996 -She's looking up. -OFFICER [OVER SPEAKER Move your vehicle! 70 00:03:45,095 --> 00:03:48,640 Oh, yes, I've cast my spell. 71 00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,104 Go ahead. Make a wish. 72 00:03:55,188 --> 00:03:56,439 Oh, why bother? 73 00:03:56,523 --> 00:03:59,151 I made the same wish last year. It didn't come true. 74 00:04:04,239 --> 00:04:06,575 Come on, son. Blow out the candles. 75 00:04:13,415 --> 00:04:15,166 Oh, what a surprise. 76 00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:17,126 Look, they're lighting again. 77 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:19,880 What sorcerer's magic is this? 78 00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:25,469 You know, Dad, I had a nice little birthday bonus today. 79 00:04:25,553 --> 00:04:30,391 On my way home I was pulled over for speeding by a very pretty policewoman 80 00:04:30,475 --> 00:04:31,558 who let me off. 81 00:04:31,642 --> 00:04:33,852 I got the distinct impression that she found me attractive. 82 00:04:33,936 --> 00:04:35,729 Now that sort of thing happens, doesn't it? 83 00:04:35,813 --> 00:04:39,316 Oh, sure. I was always leaning against somebody's window thinking, 84 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,194 "That bloody chainsaw in the back seat looks kind of iffy, 85 00:04:42,278 --> 00:04:44,030 but she's got a cute smile." 86 00:04:45,406 --> 00:04:47,074 Well, ha, ha. 87 00:04:47,158 --> 00:04:49,284 I'm telling you there was something there, though. 88 00:04:49,368 --> 00:04:51,620 Of course, the whole conversation's academic. 89 00:04:51,704 --> 00:04:53,414 Don't even know her name. 90 00:04:53,498 --> 00:04:55,958 I suppose I could call down to the police station 91 00:04:56,042 --> 00:04:58,627 try to find out who was on traffic duty, 92 00:04:58,711 --> 00:05:02,423 but I don't suppose they'd give that sort of information to a civilian. 93 00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:07,302 You have to have some conduit to the Police Department, 94 00:05:07,386 --> 00:05:11,224 an insider who could break that damnable code of silence. 95 00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:15,394 All right, I'll make the damn call. 96 00:05:16,312 --> 00:05:18,962 -You, Dad? Why, I didn't even think… -Oh, shut up. 97 00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:26,113 You know, I haven't felt such an instant attraction to a woman in quite some time. 98 00:05:26,197 --> 00:05:29,283 Well, considering the difference in our backgrounds, it's really rather puzzling. 99 00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:31,452 Oh, pish, tosh! 100 00:05:34,163 --> 00:05:36,165 It's patently obvious what's attracting you. 101 00:05:36,249 --> 00:05:40,002 The gleam of her jack boots, her dangling night stick, 102 00:05:40,086 --> 00:05:43,214 the glint of her handcuffs hanging on her leather belt. 103 00:05:44,549 --> 00:05:48,719 You're off on some lurid little disciplinary fantasy. 104 00:05:50,346 --> 00:05:52,765 Oh, Dr. Crane, shame on you! 105 00:05:52,849 --> 00:05:54,975 You've got icing all up and down your sleeve. 106 00:05:55,059 --> 00:05:57,186 Oh, I am a naughty boy. 107 00:06:00,314 --> 00:06:02,483 Well, certainly a messy one. 108 00:06:02,567 --> 00:06:04,193 But mainly… a naughty one. 109 00:06:04,902 --> 00:06:06,445 MARTIN: Hey, hey, Charlie? 110 00:06:06,529 --> 00:06:08,198 Yeah, Marty Crane. How are you doing? 111 00:06:08,282 --> 00:06:09,991 Hey, listen, Charlie, 112 00:06:10,075 --> 00:06:14,120 I'm trying to track down a woman officer who was on traffic tonight. 113 00:06:14,204 --> 00:06:16,372 -Uh, near… -Blanchard and 4th. 114 00:06:16,456 --> 00:06:17,916 Blanchard and 4th. 115 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,626 Great. Okay. Thanks. 116 00:06:19,710 --> 00:06:24,172 Her name's Maureen Cutler and she usually goes to McGinty's after work. 117 00:06:24,256 --> 00:06:26,967 -Charlie said she's probably there now. -Thanks, Dad. 118 00:06:27,926 --> 00:06:30,512 -MARTIN: You gonna go? -I don't know, a police bar. 119 00:06:30,596 --> 00:06:33,223 If I go in there alone, I'll stand out like a sore thumb. 120 00:06:33,307 --> 00:06:34,933 All right, I'll go. 121 00:06:36,685 --> 00:06:38,770 Just sit down, Niles. I'll go with him. 122 00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,732 You know, after all these hoity-toity, 123 00:06:42,816 --> 00:06:45,401 caviar-sucking egghead types you've been dating, 124 00:06:45,485 --> 00:06:48,404 I think a lady cop would be a nice breath of fresh air. 125 00:06:48,488 --> 00:06:49,864 Oh, all right, I'll go. 126 00:06:49,948 --> 00:06:51,449 Just give me a second. 127 00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,952 I'll put some fresh collar stays in, 128 00:06:54,036 --> 00:06:56,621 and, oh, I've got a fabulous brand-new cashmere jacket 129 00:06:56,705 --> 00:06:58,207 I've been dying to premiere. 130 00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:03,086 Oh, yeah, this is gonna work. 131 00:07:05,756 --> 00:07:06,840 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 132 00:07:11,678 --> 00:07:13,639 -Do you see her yet? -I don't know. 133 00:07:15,682 --> 00:07:17,058 What about her? 134 00:07:17,142 --> 00:07:18,351 No, that's not Maureen. 135 00:07:18,435 --> 00:07:19,895 No, I mean, what about her? 136 00:07:23,774 --> 00:07:24,775 Oh, there she is! 137 00:07:25,692 --> 00:07:28,069 Wow, she is a looker. 138 00:07:28,153 --> 00:07:29,613 Come on, let's go say hello. 139 00:07:31,615 --> 00:07:36,786 Oh, well, oh, my God, fancy seeing you here. 140 00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:39,873 -Hey, Frasier Crane. -Oh, you remember me. 141 00:07:39,957 --> 00:07:40,915 Come on. 142 00:07:40,999 --> 00:07:44,795 Sixty-two in a 40-mile zone with a half-naked girl in your back seat. 143 00:07:46,713 --> 00:07:47,923 -Roz. -Oh. 144 00:07:49,424 --> 00:07:51,509 So, this is my father. 145 00:07:51,593 --> 00:07:53,220 How do you do? I'm Maureen Cutler. 146 00:07:53,304 --> 00:07:55,854 -Marty Crane. Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 147 00:07:56,557 --> 00:07:58,392 Say Maureen, how about a drink? 148 00:07:58,476 --> 00:07:59,977 -Yeah, why not? -Let me get them. 149 00:08:00,061 --> 00:08:02,146 I'm a beer drinker myself. What about you? 150 00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:04,190 -That's fine by me. -Beer, huh? 151 00:08:04,274 --> 00:08:06,192 Oh, what the hell, I'll try one. 152 00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:11,363 So, what brings you guys here? 153 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:14,116 -This is mostly a cop hangout. -Well, I used to be on the force. 154 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,367 -Really? -Yeah. 155 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:18,121 Wait a minute. Marty Crane? 156 00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:20,206 You're Martin Crane. 157 00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:23,501 You're wasting your time in traffic. You're quite a detective. 158 00:08:24,294 --> 00:08:27,046 No, I mean I remember you when I was in training. 159 00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:30,716 You gave this great lecture at the Academy on how to deal with an armed suspect. 160 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:31,967 Well, thanks. 161 00:08:32,051 --> 00:08:33,761 How come you left the force? 162 00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:36,931 Well, I got shot by an armed suspect. 163 00:08:39,517 --> 00:08:41,518 -Oh, I'm sorry. -No, it's all right. 164 00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:44,313 So do you miss it? 165 00:08:44,397 --> 00:08:46,607 Nah, how attached can you get to a hip? 166 00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,321 -[PAGER BEEPING] -Oh. 167 00:08:52,405 --> 00:08:53,739 Oh, I'm sorry. 168 00:08:53,823 --> 00:08:55,699 I have to get over to the hospital. 169 00:08:55,783 --> 00:08:58,327 I told 'em to beep me if there was any news about my sergeant. 170 00:08:58,411 --> 00:09:01,455 -What happened to him? -She's having a baby. 171 00:09:01,539 --> 00:09:03,750 Oh, well, hope it's a girl. 172 00:09:04,584 --> 00:09:07,336 -Yeah, I'll tell Frasier you had to run. -Thanks. 173 00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:10,214 Listen, I never do this, 174 00:09:10,298 --> 00:09:14,969 but I would love to have a beer or go to dinner sometime. 175 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,223 -With me? -I don't want to put you on the spot. 176 00:09:19,307 --> 00:09:23,311 If you… if you want to go out, just give me a call. 177 00:09:24,771 --> 00:09:25,772 With me? 178 00:09:28,608 --> 00:09:29,900 You're the only one here. 179 00:09:29,984 --> 00:09:32,152 Here we are, three beers. 180 00:09:32,236 --> 00:09:34,986 Good news. There was a fly in one glass so they're free! 181 00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:37,742 Sorry, I got beeped. 182 00:09:37,826 --> 00:09:39,411 Oh, that's too bad. 183 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,788 Yeah, but it was nice to see you. 184 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:43,707 Maybe I'll bump into you again here sometime. 185 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,001 -Oh, that'd be great. -Okay, bye. 186 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,086 FRASIER: Bye. 187 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,798 Well, I think that went very well, don't you? 188 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:01,641 I'll have a Grandé half-caf latte with a whisper of cinnamon 189 00:10:01,725 --> 00:10:03,310 and for my father, 190 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,395 plain coffee. 191 00:10:05,562 --> 00:10:07,940 I cannot emphasize the word "plain" enough. 192 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,984 No foam. No cinnamon. 193 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:12,068 No exotic flavors. 194 00:10:12,152 --> 00:10:15,656 If it is not plain, I take no responsibility for the consequences. 195 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,741 How about a biscotti? 196 00:10:18,742 --> 00:10:22,121 All right, but when you bring it, call it a cookie. 197 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,709 -Hi, son. -Hello, Dad. 198 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,836 Uh, I want to thank you for meeting me like this. 199 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,338 Well, my pleasure. 200 00:10:33,173 --> 00:10:36,218 So, what can I do you for? 201 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,221 Well… 202 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,765 I need some advice. 203 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,142 Advice? 204 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,834 -That's why you asked me here? -Yeah. 205 00:10:46,353 --> 00:10:49,147 -You've never done this before. -Yeah, well, I'm sorry. 206 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,524 -Do you remember the other… -I want you to know I'm not only 207 00:10:51,608 --> 00:10:55,111 deeply touched, but I consider this a watershed moment in our relationship. 208 00:10:55,195 --> 00:10:56,738 -Great. -For all my life 209 00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,323 it's like you've always turned to Frasier. 210 00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:01,409 -Frasier, Frasier, Frasier. -Niles, can I talk? 211 00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:02,494 I'm listening. 212 00:11:04,788 --> 00:11:07,290 Here we are. One latte. 213 00:11:07,374 --> 00:11:08,917 One coffee. 214 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,295 And one cookie. 215 00:11:13,338 --> 00:11:15,466 I think they call this thing a biscotti. 216 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,845 No need to talk down to the man. Off you go. 217 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,895 Well, anyway remember the other night? 218 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,105 Frasier's policewoman? 219 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,147 Mm-hmm. 220 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,692 Well, we found her at the bar, and… 221 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,488 Well, she came on to me. 222 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,781 -No! -Yeah. 223 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,366 -You? -Yeah. 224 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:42,702 Was she drunk? 225 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,290 Oh, I'm sorry. Of course, Dad, I'm sorry. 226 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:49,816 What was Frasier's reaction? 227 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,462 -I haven't told him yet. -Why not? 228 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,381 -I just can't. -Can I? 229 00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,261 You know, I know he's gonna feel lousy. 230 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:04,432 He finally meets a girl he likes, and she's attracted to his old man. 231 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,559 That is quite a conundrum. 232 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,895 I wonder if that's what's really bothering you. 233 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,231 What do you mean? 234 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,568 Maybe underneath it all, you're attracted to this woman 235 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,112 -and you want to go out with her. -Oh, are you nuts? That's sick. 236 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,697 That's disgusting. 237 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,035 But for the sake of argument, let's say you're right. 238 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,205 Dad, you're allowed to be attracted to a woman. 239 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,208 What kind of a father does a thing like that? 240 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,044 Did you encourage her in any way? 241 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,213 Well, I guess I was kind of charming. 242 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,342 I mean, I didn't mean to be. It just sometimes leaks out. 243 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,846 Well, what do you want to do? 244 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,807 Well, most important, I don't want to hurt Frasier. 245 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:50,395 And, secondly, I wanna go out with Maureen. 246 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,857 The order of that changes depending on the time of day. 247 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,903 One possibility is go on a date with her. 248 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:02,687 If you feel there are sparks between you and this woman, then tell Frasier. 249 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,618 -I don't wanna lie to my son. -You're not lying to him. 250 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,579 You're delaying the truth to spare his feelings. 251 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,790 If nothing happens, he need never know. 252 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,626 No, I guess it's worth a try. 253 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,797 If Maureen and I hit it off, then I'll tell him immediately. 254 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,550 Or I can. Really, I don't mind. 255 00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:34,481 Hi, Dad. 256 00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:36,525 Oh, Frasier, you're still home. 257 00:13:36,609 --> 00:13:39,028 Yeah. Where are you going? 258 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:40,904 Just out. 259 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,075 What are you gonna do? 260 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,869 Nothing. 261 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,080 When are you gonna be home? 262 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:52,541 Later. 263 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:58,101 Well, you put a dent in the car, young man, it's coming out of your allowance. 264 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:11,142 And I've got my pride, you know. So I said to her, 265 00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:14,229 I said, "Mrs. Grayson, I'll do the cooking, I'll do the cleaning. 266 00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:16,413 But I draw the line at creaming your feet." 267 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,986 Hey, hurry up! The Mambo Kings is about to start. 268 00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:23,697 Oh, I wouldn't mind mamboing with Antonio Banderas. 269 00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:25,282 Oh, me neither. 270 00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:28,076 All right, set out the goodies, and I'll go get the wine. 271 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,454 Oh, and this time, Charlotte, be careful with that chocolate. 272 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,667 I had a hell of a time hiding the stain from his nibs. Oh! 273 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:39,713 -Hello, Dr. Crane. -Daphne. Charlotte. Maggie. 274 00:14:39,797 --> 00:14:41,423 -Hello, Dr. Crane. -FRASIER: Please sit down. 275 00:14:41,507 --> 00:14:43,717 I thought you were filling in at the station tonight. 276 00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:49,014 Oh, I am, but not for a couple of hours yet. 277 00:14:49,098 --> 00:14:51,350 [MOUTHING] 278 00:14:52,811 --> 00:14:56,439 Oh, well, seems a shame to hang around here. 279 00:14:56,523 --> 00:15:00,985 I mean, I would've thought you'd have taken an opportunity like this to, 280 00:15:01,069 --> 00:15:04,572 oh, I don't know, go down to McGinty's, for example. 281 00:15:04,656 --> 00:15:06,825 Oh, to see his new lady friend, you mean? 282 00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:10,620 Ah. I see I've been quite the hot topic over the teapot. 283 00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:15,416 You know, I may have said a thing or two in passing, but… 284 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:16,792 I'd go for it, Dr. Crane. 285 00:15:16,876 --> 00:15:20,421 Yes, well, if you must know, I was planning to go down there, 286 00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:22,048 but not for a couple of days yet. 287 00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:25,426 Well, I wouldn't wait too long. Strike while the iron's hot. 288 00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:27,386 -That's what I always say. -Oh, she's right. 289 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:30,389 Well, women don't really like men that are too over-eager. 290 00:15:30,473 --> 00:15:31,682 Oh, nonsense. 291 00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:35,728 I mean, you know, it's one thing if the man's some barmy git from the docks, 292 00:15:35,812 --> 00:15:38,731 but it's different if the man's like you. 293 00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:41,150 -Someone who's charming… -And handsome. 294 00:15:41,234 --> 00:15:43,862 And knows lots and lots of words. 295 00:15:46,406 --> 00:15:49,575 She could be down there right now nursing a gin and tonic, 296 00:15:49,659 --> 00:15:52,287 casting hopeful glances towards the door. 297 00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:54,247 Oh. 298 00:15:57,584 --> 00:16:01,087 Well, McGinty's is on my way to the station. 299 00:16:01,838 --> 00:16:04,716 Suppose I could just pop my head in. 300 00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,093 Thank you, ladies, for your support, 301 00:16:07,177 --> 00:16:10,889 even if it was nakedly self-serving and insincere. 302 00:16:15,435 --> 00:16:17,103 So they finally put my transfer through, 303 00:16:17,187 --> 00:16:20,106 and I'm moving out of traffic into narcotics. 304 00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:23,484 Yeah, I'm gonna be working with Bill Henderson at the 31st. 305 00:16:23,568 --> 00:16:24,944 Good for you. 306 00:16:25,028 --> 00:16:27,905 I'm excited, although I hear he can be pretty tough. 307 00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:31,951 Oh, no. I mean, he might seem a little stiff and straight-laced, 308 00:16:32,035 --> 00:16:34,787 but once you get to know him, he's the greatest guy in the world. 309 00:16:34,871 --> 00:16:36,998 -MAUREEN: he is pretty impressive. -MARTIN: Oh, yeah. 310 00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:39,042 Smart. Great sense of humor. 311 00:16:39,126 --> 00:16:41,461 No, you're gonna have a great time with him. 312 00:16:41,545 --> 00:16:44,297 Dad, I can't believe you're doing this! 313 00:16:44,381 --> 00:16:47,134 -Frasier? -Look, I was gonna tell you. 314 00:16:47,218 --> 00:16:49,553 Believe me, I did not put him up to this. 315 00:16:49,637 --> 00:16:52,181 Although I think he's over-selling me a little. 316 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,476 I'm not "the greatest guy in the world." Seattle, maybe. 317 00:16:56,602 --> 00:16:58,979 -Am I missing something? -Oh, I'm just joking. 318 00:16:59,063 --> 00:17:01,148 Okay, Dad, thanks for warming her up for me, huh? 319 00:17:01,232 --> 00:17:02,441 I can take over here. 320 00:17:02,525 --> 00:17:03,942 Martin? 321 00:17:04,026 --> 00:17:05,861 Come on, Martin, you heard her. 322 00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:08,948 Come on, what does she have to do, send up smoke signals? 323 00:17:10,991 --> 00:17:14,829 Frasier, Maureen and I are here on a date. 324 00:17:32,721 --> 00:17:35,766 You might think this is one of those wildly embarrassing moments 325 00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:38,269 where I'm standing here with egg on my face. 326 00:17:38,853 --> 00:17:42,439 I assure you, I'm not as embarrassed as you might assume 327 00:17:42,523 --> 00:17:44,066 that I would be embarrassed. 328 00:17:44,817 --> 00:17:48,320 I'm not uncomfortable, so, please, don't you be uncomfortable either. 329 00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:55,119 -Why don't I give you two a moment, huh? -Whatever. 330 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,291 -You asked her out? -No, that's not the way it happened. 331 00:18:01,375 --> 00:18:02,542 There's no use lying to me. 332 00:18:02,626 --> 00:18:06,254 I'm at the lowest point I could be and so, please, just tell me the truth. 333 00:18:06,338 --> 00:18:07,881 Maureen asked me out. 334 00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:09,174 Going down. 335 00:18:13,512 --> 00:18:16,348 It happened the other night when you went to the bar to get drinks. 336 00:18:16,432 --> 00:18:18,850 You know, it just caught me off guard. 337 00:18:18,934 --> 00:18:21,771 I didn't know how to handle it, so Niles told me that I should… 338 00:18:21,855 --> 00:18:22,855 Niles? 339 00:18:22,939 --> 00:18:24,691 -Niles knows? -Look, I'm sorry. 340 00:18:25,734 --> 00:18:29,153 It was supposed to be a one-time thing just to see if there was something there. 341 00:18:29,237 --> 00:18:32,448 And if there wasn't, then you didn't even need to know about it. 342 00:18:32,532 --> 00:18:35,868 Well, is there… something there? 343 00:18:35,952 --> 00:18:36,953 Oh, yeah. 344 00:18:38,455 --> 00:18:43,167 Well, it's not as if we were standing side-by-side when she chose you. 345 00:18:43,251 --> 00:18:44,126 I was at the bar. 346 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,460 If you had gone to get the drinks, things would've been different. 347 00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:48,965 I don't think so. 348 00:18:49,674 --> 00:18:51,133 Dad, I'm drowning here. 349 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,052 Please, throw me a line, will you? 350 00:18:53,136 --> 00:18:55,596 I'm gonna go tell her this whole thing was a mistake. 351 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,280 No, no, no, no, no, Dad, no, no. 352 00:18:59,351 --> 00:19:01,186 I'll be all right. Really. 353 00:19:03,355 --> 00:19:07,066 So old dog's still got it in him, huh? 354 00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:08,151 Yeah. 355 00:19:08,985 --> 00:19:10,570 Well, how long can it last? 356 00:19:10,654 --> 00:19:13,447 I mean, she's gotta come to her senses eventually. 357 00:19:13,531 --> 00:19:15,951 Oh, no, no, Dad, Dad, don't sell yourself short. 358 00:19:16,493 --> 00:19:17,827 You've got a lot to offer. 359 00:19:19,287 --> 00:19:22,540 Well, I've gotta… Gonna head off to work. 360 00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:25,992 -Good night, Dad. -Good night. Thanks. 361 00:19:30,465 --> 00:19:31,716 Damn! 362 00:19:37,889 --> 00:19:40,099 ROZ: Uh-huh. Okay, thanks. 363 00:19:40,183 --> 00:19:43,433 Frasier just came in the building, so everybody hide and be quiet. 364 00:19:43,812 --> 00:19:45,313 Do you think he'll be surprised? 365 00:19:45,397 --> 00:19:48,650 Considering his birthday was yesterday, yeah, I do, Elizabeth. 366 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,320 Should we yell "surprise!" or "happy birthday"? 367 00:19:52,404 --> 00:19:54,655 We've done this like 500 times. 368 00:19:54,739 --> 00:19:56,574 And every time is pretty much the same. 369 00:19:56,658 --> 00:19:58,701 We yell, the person pretends to be surprised, 370 00:19:58,785 --> 00:20:00,578 and we stuff ourselves with cake. 371 00:20:00,662 --> 00:20:02,580 I just wanted it to be perfect. 372 00:20:02,664 --> 00:20:05,875 And that is what makes you so special to us. 373 00:20:07,837 --> 00:20:09,171 Now get under the console! 374 00:20:15,928 --> 00:20:17,095 Hi, Frasier. 375 00:20:17,179 --> 00:20:19,348 -How are you doing? -Just wonderful. 376 00:20:19,974 --> 00:20:22,476 Forty-three is off to a rousing start. 377 00:20:23,394 --> 00:20:25,103 Remember that policewoman I was interested in? 378 00:20:25,187 --> 00:20:27,523 -Yeah. -Well, she's dating my father. 379 00:20:29,692 --> 00:20:30,776 Your father? 380 00:20:31,527 --> 00:20:34,571 Never mind that. I know just what will take your mind off of it. 381 00:20:34,655 --> 00:20:36,031 I've got something funny in my booth. 382 00:20:36,115 --> 00:20:37,741 I spent the last hour wandering the streets 383 00:20:37,825 --> 00:20:40,160 trying to take assessment of my life. 384 00:20:40,244 --> 00:20:42,412 Do you know how long it's been since I've slept with a woman? 385 00:20:42,496 --> 00:20:43,997 -Seven months! -Frasier. 386 00:20:44,081 --> 00:20:45,416 All right, nine months! 387 00:20:47,793 --> 00:20:49,753 I don't think we should talk about that right now. 388 00:20:49,837 --> 00:20:51,672 Oh, sure, fine. 389 00:20:51,756 --> 00:20:54,216 You can't spare me five minutes to talk about my problems, 390 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:57,052 when every day I drop what I'm doing to be your personal wailing wall. 391 00:20:57,136 --> 00:21:00,013 "Frasier, he stopped calling me." "Frasier, he wants his key back." 392 00:21:00,097 --> 00:21:02,447 "Frasier, his girlfriend is having me followed." 393 00:21:04,727 --> 00:21:05,728 I'm sorry. 394 00:21:08,606 --> 00:21:10,232 So, nine months, huh? 395 00:21:11,233 --> 00:21:14,528 Nine long, long months. 396 00:21:15,196 --> 00:21:16,738 -You know who that woman was? -Who? 397 00:21:16,822 --> 00:21:18,574 -Edna from Accounting. -No. 398 00:21:20,451 --> 00:21:21,827 The next day she dumped me. 399 00:21:22,369 --> 00:21:24,413 I tell you, Roz, I'm starting to feel nostalgic 400 00:21:24,497 --> 00:21:26,747 for that summer in my 20s when I was impotent. 401 00:21:29,168 --> 00:21:30,919 The only comfort that I have now 402 00:21:31,003 --> 00:21:33,338 is knowing that my humiliation can't possibly get any worse. 403 00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:35,132 ALL: Surprise! 404 00:21:42,723 --> 00:21:43,724 Hi, Edna. 405 00:21:49,814 --> 00:21:50,897 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 406 00:21:50,981 --> 00:21:53,369 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 407 00:21:53,453 --> 00:21:55,529 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 408 00:21:56,613 --> 00:21:57,655 Oh, my. 409 00:21:57,739 --> 00:22:00,158 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 410 00:22:00,242 --> 00:22:02,702 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 411 00:22:02,786 --> 00:22:05,079 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 412 00:22:05,163 --> 00:22:06,706 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 413 00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:10,168 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 414 00:22:11,002 --> 00:22:13,671 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 415 00:22:13,755 --> 00:22:15,090 Good night, everybody!