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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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-Hey, Daphne, you seen Eddie?
-No, I haven't.
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00:00:13,744 --> 00:00:16,871
It just doesn't feel right to start the
day without him licking me awake.
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Well, don't look at me.
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Morning, all. Daphne, I got treats.
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-What the hell you doing with him?
-We went for a walk.
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I'm talking to Eddie.
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When I saw what a beautiful day
it was today, I headed for the park.
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Of course the only people in the park
this hour of the morning without dogs
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00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:41,606
are winos and that guy who
washes his hair in the fountain.
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He says hello, by the way.
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It is sort of nice out, isn't it?
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"Sort of" nice?
My God, haven't you people noticed this?
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It's incredible!
Dad, you should feel this.
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It's 80 degrees outside, and
it's the middle of February.
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Oh, it is beautiful. And in the
middle of such a terrible winter.
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Oh, I love nature's little aberrations.
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Warm days in winter,
four-leaf clovers, Australians.
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Yes, it is glorious.
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It defies you not to take a moment to
acknowledge the power that created it.
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Thank you, global warming!
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Hey, Frasier, think your guy down at the
liquor store could send a bottle of Scotch
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to my buddy Jimmy in Montana?
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Sure, Dad. What's the occasion?
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Today's his 16th birthday.
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Oh, well, then you'll want to
throw in a hooker, too, won't you?
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[CHUCKLES]
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-No, don't you get it? It's February 29th.
-Mm.
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-It's a leap year.
-Right.
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See, he only gets a
birthday every four years.
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-I get it, Dad.
-He's really 64.
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I can do the math.
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He's having a big shindig tonight.
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A lot of guys from
the force fly in for it.
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Everybody drinks a lot of beer
and then they have a contest
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to see who's got the biggest scar.
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This year, I had a real
good chance of winning
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now that Shark-Bait
O'Reilly's finally died.
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So, why aren't you going?
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Yeah, Dad. You should go.
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Eh, Montana's too far away.
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Well, Dad, this birthday only
comes around once every four years.
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Matter of fact, this day only
comes around once every four years.
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Huh.
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You know, it's like a free day, a gift.
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We should do something special. Be bold.
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It's leap year. Take a leap.
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You know, I was just about
to say the same thing to you.
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Your son's right. You shouldn't be afraid
to shake up your routine a little bit.
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Hey, I don't see you
taking any big leaps today.
51
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If there was something I
wanted to do, I would do it.
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You're always whining about
wanting to change your hair.
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[WHINING] I don't whine.
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[IMITATING DAPHNE]
"I'm so sick of me hair.
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"Do you think I should
get it cut like Princess Di?"
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"Ooh, do you think that'd
make me cheeks look too fat?"
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That reminds me of the craziest
thing me Grammy Moon used to say."
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I'll pay for the damn haircut if
you'll stop yakking and just do it.
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Yes, well, I'll pay for
you to go to Montana.
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It's not the one next to
New Hampshire, is it?
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No. And Dad can pay for his own trip.
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All right then.
And I can pay for me own haircut.
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All right, Dad, back in your court.
Are you up to the leap year challenge?
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Nah.
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Dad, Jimmy's already 16.
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How many more birthdays
is he going to have?
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You know, I would kind
of hate not being there
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when Jimmy brings out the big ham.
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Oh. All right, what the hell? I'll go.
I'll call the airlines after breakfast.
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That's the spirit!
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Hey, what's your big leap year challenge?
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-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-I'm singing "Buttons and Bows" tonight
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at the PBS pledge drive.
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You've sung that same stupid
song for the last three years.
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Yes, but I'm doing something remarkably
fresh and different with it this year.
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-You're just blowing smoke, aren't you?
-Like a 56 Rambler.
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-Good morning, Niles.
-Good?
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It's glorious, heaven-sent.
And you know why?
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Maris called. She wants to get
together with me this evening.
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Oh, Niles, that's wonderful news.
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It's high time you and Maris
talked through your problems.
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She doesn't want to talk.
When she says "get together,"
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00:04:02,239 --> 00:04:05,742
she means in the "you wear the
crème fraîche, I'll lick it off" sense.
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00:04:08,412 --> 00:04:10,790
She's cleared her
schedule from 7:00 till 7:30.
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That means foreplay and cuddling.
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Niles, remember when you were a kid
and your mother and I wouldn't discuss
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00:04:17,755 --> 00:04:20,925
the Cuban Missile Crisis in front of you
'cause we knew it'd give you bad dreams?
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Yes.
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It's a two-way street.
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Mm.
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Oh.
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-Breakfast, Dr. Crane?
-Uh, yes, thank you, Daphne.
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Niles, I don't mind telling you
I'm a little bit concerned about this.
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Maris claps her hands, you come running?
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Well, don't forget there's a
little something for me in this too.
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I haven't had sex in six months.
97
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,077
Surely you're exaggerating.
You've only been separated for three.
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And your point would be?
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You really want to sacrifice your
self-respect for a roll in the hay?
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Substitute a 16th-century giltwood
fainting couch for hay and watch me roll.
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00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,559
Niles, you and Maris have not sat
down and discussed your problems.
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As a psychiatrist, you know
that sex will only cloud the issues.
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You don't realize how desperate I am.
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Ever since our separation, I've
been paying women to touch me.
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Oh, Niles.
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Manicurists, pedicurists, facialists.
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Whenever you see a man who's well-groomed,
you can bet he's not getting any.
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Will you at least think
about what I've said?
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I can't.
She's leaving for Europe in the morning,
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so I have a very small
window of opportunity.
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Niles, you know I'm right.
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You don't want me to have
sex 'cause you're not having any.
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I most certainly am too.
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Oh, your lips say yes, but
your cuticles speak volumes.
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-Niles…
-Oh, you're right.
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I'll tell her no.
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-It's not going to be easy, though.
-Of course not.
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Just don't think about sex.
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Would you like me to butter
your buns for you, Dr. Crane?
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[CLATTERING]
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Grandma in a teddy.
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Thank you.
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♪ You're all mine in buttons and bows ♪
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Oh, God, it must be PBS pledge time again.
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Mm-hm.
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Roz, it is a wonderful day.
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I think the entire city of Seattle
is convinced it's springtime.
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00:06:54,591 --> 00:06:56,634
I was walking down the street.
I passed a pet store
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00:06:56,718 --> 00:07:00,763
and in the window, I could see
two snakes doing a mating dance.
130
00:07:00,847 --> 00:07:03,724
If you ask me, celebrating a dance
that brings more snakes into the world
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00:07:03,808 --> 00:07:06,729
is like toasting a law school graduation.
132
00:07:10,316 --> 00:07:13,735
Well, I can see the unseasonable sunshine
has done nothing to improve your mood.
133
00:07:13,819 --> 00:07:16,905
Well, how would you feel if
you just lost the love of your life?
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Well, alimony aside, I
found it rather liberating.
135
00:07:21,328 --> 00:07:24,330
My car wouldn't start,
so I had to take the bus.
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00:07:24,414 --> 00:07:28,459
And we're all crowded on there,
when suddenly I smell Lagerfeld
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and I look up and there he is.
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Karl Lagerfeld?
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His name is Gary.
I don't know his last name.
140
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Anyway, we got to talking
and we were really connecting.
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I started to believe in kismet.
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And all of a sudden, people wanna
get off the bus, and I'm in their way.
143
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So I get off to let them out, and before I
can get back on, the damn bus drives off.
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Out of my life forever.
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00:07:52,319 --> 00:07:55,369
I'm sure another one would've
come along in ten minutes or so.
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-I'm talking about the guy.
-So am I.
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00:08:01,454 --> 00:08:02,955
You don't get it, Frasier.
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00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:05,583
I mean, I really felt
this guy was the one.
149
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:07,918
Well, if you really want
to try to find him again,
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00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:09,587
we do reach half a million listeners.
151
00:08:09,671 --> 00:08:11,797
Why don't you just tell
your story on the air?
152
00:08:11,881 --> 00:08:15,927
On the air? Oh, I couldn't do that.
It'd make me look pathetic.
153
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Oh, it's too bizarre. It's too needy.
154
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-It's 2:00.
-Oh, my God!
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A glorious good afternoon, Seattle.
This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
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00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:30,860
I'm thinking a lot today about leap year.
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00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:35,448
Today is February 29th, and
although it isn't an official holiday,
158
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,242
perhaps it could be looked upon
as one in a metaphorical sense.
159
00:08:38,326 --> 00:08:41,330
Just as Christmas reminds
us to be generous of spirit,
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00:08:41,414 --> 00:08:45,876
so leap year reminds us to
take a "leap" in our own lives.
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To be bold, to try something new.
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Too often we shrink from
doing things we want to,
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held back by, oh,
appearing foolish perhaps.
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Roz?
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00:08:59,725 --> 00:09:04,688
Is there anything you would like
to say before we start taking calls?
166
00:09:08,526 --> 00:09:09,360
No.
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00:09:12,113 --> 00:09:14,615
I'm reminded of a quotation
by John Greenleaf Whittier,
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00:09:14,699 --> 00:09:17,619
"For all sad words of tongue
or pen, the saddest are these:
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00:09:18,453 --> 00:09:19,621
'It might have been.' "
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00:09:21,457 --> 00:09:22,291
Roz?
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00:09:26,629 --> 00:09:27,463
No.
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00:09:29,673 --> 00:09:32,259
Did you know that a
woman over the age of 30
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00:09:32,343 --> 00:09:33,677
has less chance of getting married
174
00:09:33,761 --> 00:09:35,972
than of being killed
in a terrorist attack?
175
00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:43,939
This is to Gary.
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00:09:44,773 --> 00:09:47,275
I was on the number 7 bus around noon,
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00:09:47,359 --> 00:09:51,488
and you were a stockbroker with
a tan briefcase and a cleft chin.
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00:09:51,572 --> 00:09:55,492
And the bus was really crowded,
and we both reached for the hand strap
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00:09:55,576 --> 00:09:57,077
and our hands touched.
180
00:09:57,161 --> 00:10:00,038
And we laughed.
And you said I had a really great laugh,
181
00:10:00,122 --> 00:10:03,272
and I said you had a really great
laugh, and we laughed at that.
182
00:10:04,795 --> 00:10:07,338
Anyway, you asked me
if I were free on Friday,
183
00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:10,008
but we got separated before I
could give you my phone number,
184
00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:13,742
which I would have because I really
liked you and I thought you were cute.
185
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:19,310
So, Gary, if you're listening,
please, please give us a call.
186
00:10:19,894 --> 00:10:22,062
We'll be right back after these words.
187
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:25,649
Oh, God! How could I say "I really
liked you, I thought you were cute"?
188
00:10:25,733 --> 00:10:27,485
Who am I? Marcia Brady?
189
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,992
Well, we'll be right back for more calls
190
00:10:34,076 --> 00:10:37,329
and more on the search for
Gary after this news break.
191
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,456
Good news.
192
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:42,544
I figured out a way I can have
sex and we can all be happy.
193
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,132
As I pause to make sure
that the on-air light is off…
194
00:10:48,842 --> 00:10:49,759
Continue.
195
00:10:49,843 --> 00:10:52,303
Well, I was driving down the freeway,
196
00:10:52,387 --> 00:10:57,101
trying hard to notice the provocative
decals truckers have on their mud flaps…
197
00:11:00,146 --> 00:11:03,357
When I heard your little speech
about breaking out of familiar patterns.
198
00:11:03,441 --> 00:11:06,610
-Mm-hmm.
-Well, sleeping alone has been my pattern.
199
00:11:06,694 --> 00:11:08,894
-I'm ready to take a leap.
-No, you're not.
200
00:11:09,656 --> 00:11:12,575
Okay, not a leap, but you've gotta
give me something. A hop, a bound.
201
00:11:12,659 --> 00:11:16,009
-Give me a jump. Oh, God, jump!
-Niles, would you just get a grip?
202
00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:18,456
If you thought being with
Maris was the right thing to do,
203
00:11:18,540 --> 00:11:19,791
you would be with her.
204
00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:20,708
You know it's wrong.
205
00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:23,212
That's why you're here,
asking for my permission.
206
00:11:23,296 --> 00:11:25,297
Frasier, what if we don't have sex?
207
00:11:25,381 --> 00:11:27,716
-What if we just snuggle?
-Whoops, excuse me.
208
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:28,676
Oh…
209
00:11:29,802 --> 00:11:30,636
Roz.
210
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,805
I never noticed what a
perky little walk you have.
211
00:11:32,889 --> 00:11:34,473
-Oh. Niles. Niles!
-Roz? Roz?
212
00:11:34,557 --> 00:11:36,685
-Roz…
-Niles, stop! Get back in here.
213
00:11:39,855 --> 00:11:42,774
You just stop that. Niles, get control.
214
00:11:42,858 --> 00:11:44,859
My God, man, there are
far more important things
215
00:11:44,943 --> 00:11:47,070
than simple immediate
physical gratification.
216
00:11:47,154 --> 00:11:48,280
You're right.
217
00:11:48,364 --> 00:11:52,035
I just have to marshal my
self-discipline and be strong.
218
00:11:53,703 --> 00:11:54,621
[EXHALES]
219
00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,346
-Fifteen seconds.
-Oh.
220
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:14,599
-What is wrong with your brother today?
-Oh, ignore him.
221
00:12:14,683 --> 00:12:16,477
Human nature never ceases to amaze me.
222
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,021
How otherwise rational people
223
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,565
can be turned into babbling
ninnies by their hormones.
224
00:12:20,649 --> 00:12:21,649
Oh, my God!
225
00:12:21,733 --> 00:12:25,570
There's Gary! Oh, my God!
He's here! It's him!
226
00:12:29,741 --> 00:12:30,660
[SIGHS]
227
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:33,871
Well, we're back.
228
00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:37,082
You'll all be glad to know that
Cupid's arrow has hit its mark.
229
00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:39,418
Gary has just arrived in the hallway
230
00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:42,296
and has a big bouquet of flowers for Roz.
231
00:12:43,297 --> 00:12:46,134
The truth is I'm really quite delighted
with the way things have turned out.
232
00:12:46,218 --> 00:12:50,263
It inspires me to take
a little leap of my own.
233
00:12:50,347 --> 00:12:53,516
As many of you know, this
evening for the third year in a row,
234
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,978
I will be appearing on
the PBS pledge drive.
235
00:12:56,562 --> 00:12:59,315
I was getting a little nervous the
way you were describing me on the air.
236
00:12:59,399 --> 00:13:02,068
-Oh, why?
-Well, my wife listens to the show.
237
00:13:02,152 --> 00:13:04,111
-You're married?
-Yeah, but it's okay.
238
00:13:04,195 --> 00:13:05,795
I still want to go out with you.
239
00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:13,205
So, instead of "Buttons and
Bows," I have chosen instead to sing
240
00:13:13,289 --> 00:13:16,166
a very challenging aria
from Verdi's Rigoletto,
241
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:19,836
something I have never
attempted outside the shower.
242
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:24,509
I certainly hope my little gamble
turns out as well as Roz's has.
243
00:13:35,729 --> 00:13:37,063
Or even better.
244
00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:44,530
[FRASIER SEARCHING FOR NOTE]
245
00:13:49,202 --> 00:13:50,160
Oh, God!
246
00:13:50,244 --> 00:13:53,040
Well, perhaps they'll pledge
to get you to stop singing.
247
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,837
Oh, and by the way, thanks
so much for the cold shower tip.
248
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,713
-Did it work?
-No, it did not.
249
00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:04,797
It's clearly an old wives' tale because
I'm still thinking of my old wife's tail.
250
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,639
Yes, well, I suppose it stood to
reason being showered with coldness
251
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,683
would only bring Maris more to mind.
252
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,853
Keep making remarks like
that, I won't help you rehearse.
253
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:16,355
I'm sorry.
It's just that I'm awfully nervous.
254
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,733
As much as I admire your
willingness to take a leap,
255
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:23,030
I did warn you that you were getting
into a dangerous aria. [CHUCKLES]
256
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:27,117
God, I'm using humor to
mask sexual frustration.
257
00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:29,911
-It's high school all over again.
-Niles, I know it's difficult,
258
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:32,290
but Maris has got to learn
that you're not just someone
259
00:14:32,374 --> 00:14:35,126
who can be ordered to perform at will.
Now sit. Play.
260
00:14:36,044 --> 00:14:38,504
[PLAYING UP-TEMPO INTRO]
261
00:14:38,588 --> 00:14:39,881
[DOOR OPENS]
262
00:14:39,965 --> 00:14:42,092
-♪ Del la… ♪
-[DOOR SLAMS]
263
00:14:42,926 --> 00:14:45,304
Next time it looks like I'm gonna
follow a piece of your advice,
264
00:14:45,388 --> 00:14:46,930
shoot me in the head first!
265
00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:49,349
Dad, why aren't you in Montana?
266
00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:53,187
Fifteen minutes out, a flock of Canadian
geese flew into one of our engines.
267
00:14:53,271 --> 00:14:55,022
They were the lucky ones.
268
00:14:55,648 --> 00:14:57,941
Next thing you know,
we're falling 5,000 feet.
269
00:14:58,025 --> 00:15:00,278
Smokehouse almonds are flying everywhere.
270
00:15:00,362 --> 00:15:02,822
People are screaming
and hugging each other.
271
00:15:02,906 --> 00:15:05,074
The guy in the next seat
grabbed a hold of my hand.
272
00:15:05,158 --> 00:15:07,702
And you know what? I didn't pull it away.
273
00:15:07,786 --> 00:15:09,370
Then our pilot comes out.
274
00:15:09,454 --> 00:15:10,538
Our landing gear's out.
275
00:15:10,622 --> 00:15:13,834
We're gonna have to do an emergency
belly landing in six feet of foam.
276
00:15:13,918 --> 00:15:18,672
So five hellish minutes later,
we're bouncing across the runway.
277
00:15:18,756 --> 00:15:20,299
Then the stewardess comes out
278
00:15:20,383 --> 00:15:22,468
and says we're gonna have to
go down the emergency slide.
279
00:15:22,552 --> 00:15:25,722
So down I go, head
first into this sea of foam.
280
00:15:25,806 --> 00:15:28,433
Last thing I remember, this
fat lady from across the aisle
281
00:15:28,517 --> 00:15:31,895
comes barreling down the chute
after me like a polyester avalanche.
282
00:15:34,023 --> 00:15:36,358
My God, Dad, I am so sorry.
283
00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:39,403
So these stewardesses, were
they also covered with foam?
284
00:15:39,487 --> 00:15:40,572
Will you stop it!?
285
00:15:48,913 --> 00:15:53,252
Well, Dad, if you'd like to talk
about it, we're both here for you.
286
00:15:53,336 --> 00:15:56,046
Boy, I tell you, times
like this, you just…
287
00:15:56,130 --> 00:15:58,257
All you can think of is your loved ones,
288
00:15:58,341 --> 00:16:00,741
and how you wish you'd
spent more time with them.
289
00:16:01,719 --> 00:16:02,762
ALL: Eddie!
290
00:16:05,348 --> 00:16:07,017
Well, let's get back to work.
291
00:16:07,768 --> 00:16:10,603
I need something to take my mind
off the fact that at this very moment,
292
00:16:10,687 --> 00:16:14,487
Maris is slipping out of her frilly
underthings and into a non-fat milk bath.
293
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,781
-Something wrong?
-Yes, something's wrong.
294
00:16:20,865 --> 00:16:23,284
Things turned out so badly
for Roz and Dad today,
295
00:16:23,368 --> 00:16:27,454
I'm just wondering if maybe
my little leap is ill-advised.
296
00:16:27,538 --> 00:16:28,747
Oh, now.
297
00:16:28,831 --> 00:16:31,000
Maybe this aria thing won't
turn out quite so well either.
298
00:16:31,084 --> 00:16:33,420
Just because theirs went
wrong doesn't mean yours will too.
299
00:16:33,504 --> 00:16:35,505
-Yeah.
-They're two isolated incidents.
300
00:16:35,589 --> 00:16:36,507
All right.
301
00:16:37,007 --> 00:16:40,051
[PLAYING UP-TEMPO INTRO]
302
00:16:40,135 --> 00:16:41,385
-♪ Del la… ♪
-[DOOR OPENS]
303
00:16:51,606 --> 00:16:52,691
[SOBS]
304
00:16:54,693 --> 00:16:58,071
Oh, will these infernal
temptations never end!
305
00:17:01,575 --> 00:17:04,078
Oh, tell me the truth.
306
00:17:04,829 --> 00:17:06,997
Is it as bad as I think it is?
307
00:17:08,582 --> 00:17:12,461
How bad do you think it is?
308
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,967
"Take a leap." Mr. Maurice, hair designer.
309
00:17:18,051 --> 00:17:21,054
"Trust me." Children pointing.
310
00:17:21,138 --> 00:17:22,889
Your fault!
311
00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:28,312
Okay, that's it.
I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving.
312
00:17:28,396 --> 00:17:31,106
No, Niles. You can't leave me now.
I need you more now than ever.
313
00:17:31,190 --> 00:17:34,109
Give it up. No one who's followed
your little "take a leap" philosophy
314
00:17:34,193 --> 00:17:35,486
has ended up even remotely better.
315
00:17:35,570 --> 00:17:38,120
I don't care what you're
saying, I'm going to Maris.
316
00:17:40,324 --> 00:17:42,952
You will rue the day!
317
00:17:43,036 --> 00:17:45,831
I don't care. Niles gotta have it!
318
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,838
[PHONES RINGING]
319
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:04,308
-Oh, Pete.
-Hi, Doc.
320
00:18:04,392 --> 00:18:06,227
I hear you're doing
something new this year.
321
00:18:06,311 --> 00:18:07,813
Whoa.
322
00:18:07,897 --> 00:18:10,941
-Well, is it too hard for you?
-For me? No. I'm, I'm worried about you.
323
00:18:11,025 --> 00:18:13,425
I can hit any note.
[HITS ONE NOTE ON PIANO] See?
324
00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:17,031
No, Lamb Chop's not here.
325
00:18:17,948 --> 00:18:19,700
Big Bird isn't here either.
326
00:18:20,409 --> 00:18:21,912
What are you doing up so late?
327
00:18:22,496 --> 00:18:23,705
Oh.
328
00:18:23,789 --> 00:18:25,889
Do you have your
mommy's credit card handy?
329
00:18:27,417 --> 00:18:29,417
Have your mommy call us back later. Bye.
330
00:18:30,337 --> 00:18:34,925
Well, I guess your little
aria must be coming up soon.
331
00:18:35,009 --> 00:18:38,971
Yeah, along with some veal Milanese
and a rather disappointing Chardonnay.
332
00:18:39,847 --> 00:18:40,848
Oh.
333
00:18:40,932 --> 00:18:44,393
Roz, I hope you're not still angry with
me for the way my advice backfired today.
334
00:18:44,477 --> 00:18:46,520
Oh, no, not at all.
335
00:18:46,604 --> 00:18:49,149
In fact, I've been meaning to
tell you how much I admire you
336
00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:51,025
for what you're doing tonight.
337
00:18:51,109 --> 00:18:53,570
After watching me
crash and burn like that,
338
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:56,990
you're gonna go out and
sing this very difficult song.
339
00:18:57,074 --> 00:18:58,950
In a foreign language.
340
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:02,580
Under these unflattering lights
with your clothes soaked with sweat.
341
00:19:02,664 --> 00:19:04,540
On live television.
342
00:19:04,624 --> 00:19:08,124
-How long are you gonna stay mad at me?
-Until the day I get married.
343
00:19:08,586 --> 00:19:10,212
Yo, Doc. Doc.
344
00:19:10,296 --> 00:19:12,423
Please. I've been going over your music.
345
00:19:12,507 --> 00:19:14,216
And when we get to this section here,
346
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:16,344
either I can play really
loud or jab you with a pin
347
00:19:16,428 --> 00:19:19,557
because you're not hitting
this note without a pole vault.
348
00:19:21,058 --> 00:19:22,558
PAGE: Ten seconds, Dr. Crane.
349
00:19:23,352 --> 00:19:25,270
That's it! That's it!
350
00:19:25,354 --> 00:19:27,439
-I'm not doing the aria.
-ROZ: What?
351
00:19:27,523 --> 00:19:30,818
You're backing out after you made
all of us take those stupid leaps?
352
00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,863
You bet I am. It may be an unwise man
who doesn't learn from his own mistakes,
353
00:19:33,947 --> 00:19:37,197
but it's an absolute idiot that
doesn't learn from other people's.
354
00:19:38,201 --> 00:19:40,453
But you promised all your listeners.
355
00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:43,708
Oh, what's the difference?
Who watches PBS?
356
00:19:47,336 --> 00:19:48,421
I'll tell you who.
357
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:52,884
Discerning, cultured
viewers like yourselves.
358
00:19:53,509 --> 00:19:55,094
Hello, I'm Dr. Frasier Crane,
359
00:19:55,636 --> 00:19:58,181
and like yourselves, I care
about quality programming
360
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:01,309
such as foreign films,
classical music, opera.
361
00:20:01,393 --> 00:20:04,312
Which is why I intended to
sing a rather challenging piece,
362
00:20:04,396 --> 00:20:07,106
an aria from Verdi's Rigoletto.
363
00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:11,821
But who am I to ignore
the dozens of phone calls
364
00:20:11,905 --> 00:20:14,031
that have come in
requesting my signature piece,
365
00:20:14,115 --> 00:20:18,327
a rather charming little ditty
that I first sang three years ago
366
00:20:18,411 --> 00:20:20,163
on Classic Western Movie Week.
367
00:20:21,831 --> 00:20:27,379
So without further ado, I give you
"Buttons and Bows" from Paleface.
368
00:20:28,631 --> 00:20:29,548
Maestro, please.
369
00:20:29,632 --> 00:20:31,967
[PLAYING INTRO]
370
00:20:32,051 --> 00:20:34,761
♪ East is east and west is west ♪
371
00:20:34,845 --> 00:20:37,598
♪ And the wrong one I have chose ♪
372
00:20:37,682 --> 00:20:42,687
♪ Let's go where you'll keep on wearing
those da-da-dahs and boppa-dohs ♪
373
00:20:42,771 --> 00:20:46,733
♪ And things and buttons
and buttons and bows ♪
374
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,906
♪ Don't bury me in something
"P" or something la, la, la ♪
375
00:20:52,573 --> 00:20:55,075
♪ Let's all go to a taco show ♪
376
00:20:55,159 --> 00:20:58,579
♪ And such an impressive blow my nose ♪
377
00:20:58,663 --> 00:21:01,582
♪ You look great in buttons and bows ♪
378
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:05,670
♪ I love you in buckskin,
la-da-da, da-da, da-da ♪
379
00:21:05,754 --> 00:21:10,008
[SINGING GIBBERISH]
380
00:21:11,051 --> 00:21:12,760
Everybody!
381
00:21:12,844 --> 00:21:15,513
♪ My bones denounce the fearful trouts ♪
382
00:21:15,597 --> 00:21:18,434
♪ And la-la, la-la, mole that grows ♪
383
00:21:18,518 --> 00:21:21,186
♪ Bada souse a pom capoose ♪
384
00:21:21,270 --> 00:21:23,647
♪ And penta hoss and pantyhose ♪
385
00:21:23,731 --> 00:21:29,320
♪ You'll look bubbity buttons and bows ♪
386
00:21:30,614 --> 00:21:32,198
[FRASIER SINGING ON TV]
387
00:21:32,282 --> 00:21:34,284
[BOTH LAUGHING]
388
00:21:38,247 --> 00:21:42,209
I'll bet this is one leap year Dr. Crane
won't be sorry to see the back of.
389
00:21:44,087 --> 00:21:47,048
-Rewind it so we can watch it again.
-No, no, no.
390
00:21:47,924 --> 00:21:51,524
Not yet. Let it finish first. This is
the verse where he really loses it.
391
00:21:52,595 --> 00:21:55,139
♪ Bippity, boppity, hippity, do ♪
392
00:21:55,223 --> 00:21:58,811
♪ Something and something
and buttons and bows ♪
393
00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:03,232
Okay, now you can rewind it.
394
00:22:05,776 --> 00:22:06,736
Eddie!
395
00:22:13,285 --> 00:22:14,285
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
396
00:22:14,369 --> 00:22:17,090
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
397
00:22:17,174 --> 00:22:19,541
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
398
00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:21,334
Oh, my.
399
00:22:21,418 --> 00:22:23,711
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
400
00:22:23,795 --> 00:22:26,423
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
401
00:22:26,507 --> 00:22:28,634
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
402
00:22:28,718 --> 00:22:30,177
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
403
00:22:30,261 --> 00:22:33,890
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
404
00:22:34,557 --> 00:22:36,767
♪ They're callin' again ♪
405
00:22:36,851 --> 00:22:39,897
Frasier has left the building.