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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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Good morning, Daphne. Dad.
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Shh. You'll ruin his concentration.
4
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He's on a stakeout to catch
whoever's been pinching our newspaper.
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He's been at it for over an hour.
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I must say, I can see why he
was such a good policeman.
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[SNORING]
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Dad's very impressive, isn't he?
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When he wakes up, you must
get him to tell you about his stint
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as security coordinator for Jimmy Hoffa.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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-Dad, come on. Rise and shine.
-Huh?
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-You fell asleep.
-Oh.
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-Oh, good morning, Niles.
-Hello.
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Ah, yes, I see our newspaper
thief has struck again.
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-Damn, he's good.
-Come on in.
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This morning, for the first
time since our separation,
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Maris actually picked up the phone
and called me. She needs a favor.
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Niles, I think that's
hardly cause to celebrate.
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She called you because
she wants something?
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No, not "wants," Frasier. "Needs."
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This is my chance to show her
how necessary I really am to her,
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and all I have to do is
fix one small problem.
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What's the problem?
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Uh, she's wanted by the police.
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Apparently, she was driving
past a shoe store last week,
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when she spotted a stunning pair
of Ferragamo pumps in the window.
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Well, I need not remind you what
effect a Ferragamo sighting can have
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on Maris' hand/eye coordination.
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She drove up on the sidewalk,
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and when the police ran her
name through the computer,
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they found quite a little
backlog of unpaid parking tickets.
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What else would you expect from a woman
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who thinks her chocolate allergy entitles
her to park in a handicapped space?
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Oh, and to top it all off, she
neglected to appear for her summons,
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so they immediately swore out a
warrant, and that brings us to you, Dad.
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Why?
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You were a cop.
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I'm sure you still have chums, hint, hint…
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Who could lend you a hand, wink, wink.
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Yeah, look, you know I'd do
anything for you, but not this.
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All my years on the force,
I never even fixed a ticket,
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-let alone an arrest warrant.
-Wh…
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-You couldn't pull one little string?
-I hope it works out for you,
45
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but I think the law should
be the same for everyone.
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Well, it's not.
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We don't like to believe justice is blind,
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but the sad truth is wealthy white
women just can't get a fair shake.
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-The courts love to make examples of them.
-DAPHNE: Oh, they do.
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Just think of Zsa Zsa
Gabor or Leona Helmsley.
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Oh, yes, two perfectly lovely
women victimized by an unjust system.
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All right, fine.
You won't help me, I'll help myself.
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I'm going down to that precinct house,
and I'm not leaving till I get justice.
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Not exactly justice, I suppose.
More like preferential treatment.
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But I'm not leaving till get it.
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What a horrible thing to happen.
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Can you picture poor
Mrs. Crane confined to a jail cell?
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Only if they move the
bars closer together.
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FRASIER: Well, that's it for today, folks.
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane
wishing you good mental health.
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Frasier, I feel as if I'm being sucked
into a vortex of rage and despair.
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Well, right back at you.
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I take it things didn't go
so well down at the station?
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The police simply
would not listen to reason.
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Police?
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They're persecuting my Maris
over some silly parking fines.
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I felt sure they'd ease up if they
just understood Maris a little better,
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-so I tried to explain her to them.
-Oh, dear God.
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I dated a guy once who
got in trouble with the cops.
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Notice the complete absence
of gasps following that statement.
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Okay. Okay, fine, you little weasel.
Just forget it.
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I was gonna help you.
Maris can just rot in the slammer.
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Oh. Roz, I was joshing.
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I know how you enjoy our little by-play.
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That weasel line, ouch. Touché.
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You know what?
You're even more annoying when you grovel.
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Zing! Got me again!
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Roz, if not for his sake,
then for mine, please.
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Okay, for you.
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My friend Phil had some
major traffic violations.
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And he was so freaked that he called
this guy who, you know, fixes things.
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Uh… Sounds just a tad shady, Roz.
You mean, he went to some hoodlum?
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Well, I wouldn't use the
word hoodlum in front of him.
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Just think of him as someone
who makes wishes come true.
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Like a fairy godfather.
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Another word I wouldn't
use in front of him.
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Here we go. Jerome Belasco.
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Oh, Roz, you are an angel of mercy.
How can I repay you?
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The next time you think of
some witty little thing to say
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about my sex life or what I'm
wearing, just keep it to yourself.
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Consider it done.
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-Give me that.
-No, give me that.
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-Frasier.
-Are you mad?
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I will not have you turning a
minor, albeit annoying, situation
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into a Martin Scorsese film.
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You don't understand
what this means to me.
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When Maris asked me for this
favor, do you know what she said?
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She said, "Niles, will
you be my Commodore?"
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Her "Commodore"?
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-That's what she used to call her father.
-Ah.
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Frasier, there was no problem
so great that that man couldn't fix it.
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I'm sure.
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Remember that lovely jeweled crucifix
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Maris picked up on her First
Communion trip to Rome?
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Who do you think smoothed
things over with the Vatican?
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Yes, whatever happened to the days
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when a parent would take a
wayward child by the hand,
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march them back to the scene
of the crime and make them say,
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"I'm sorry, Your Holiness,
it'll never happen again"?
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You don't understand.
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If I show Maris that I can step
into the Commodore's plimsoles,
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she'll have a whole new respect for me.
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We can rebuild our marriage
on a healthier foundation.
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Frasier…
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Please.
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Oh. Thank you.
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I just know this man is
the answer to my problems.
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Yes, who better to mend the
fragile fabric of a troubled marriage
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than a man whose
business address is a wharf.
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FRASIER: Niles. Look, this is ridiculous.
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It's past midnight. I'm leaving.
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No, no, no, you can't leave.
You're my backup.
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Wonder what's keeping him?
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Do you suppose that's him?
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I doubt it. That overcoat is Armani.
126
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Good point. Where would a criminal come
up with the money for something like that?
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-You're Dr. Crane, I presume?
-Oh, yes, I'm Niles Crane.
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This is my brother, Dr. Frasier Crane.
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-Oh, Jerome Belasco.
-Pleasure.
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Excuse my tardiness. My lady friend
and I were having one of those discussions
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from which it is difficult
to remove oneself.
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We certainly know about those, don't we?
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Yes. Dames!
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So you have some problem
you think I can help you with?
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Uh, well, I do. Please, Jerome.
136
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:04,125
[CLEARS THROAT]
137
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Uh, you see, last week my lady
got on the wrong side of Larry Law,
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00:07:10,215 --> 00:07:13,928
and since then, certain, shall
we say, complications have arisen.
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And in brief, things are hot, hot, hot,
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and we believe that you are the
man to turn on the air conditionin'.
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I sense you're a film buff, Dr. Crane.
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-Just show him the charges, Niles.
-Yes, here you go.
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Quite a few…
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"Ignoring a summons," "Speeding,"
"Reckless endangerment."
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Your wife sounds like
a very carefree lady.
146
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Oh, yes, she's ounces of fun.
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Uh, do you think you could persuade
the police to show some leniency?
148
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There's never any harm
in making a phone call.
149
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-Excuse me.
-Thank you.
150
00:07:52,558 --> 00:07:54,644
Yes, around and straight to the back.
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He's making the call.
He's making the call.
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Frasier, you're going to think I'm
crazy for saying this, but that was fun.
153
00:08:05,199 --> 00:08:09,495
Well, I must admit, Niles,
it is not entirely unpleasant
154
00:08:09,579 --> 00:08:13,125
to rub shoulders with the demimonde.
155
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,796
I definitely felt a real
testosterone surge, you know.
156
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,758
Me too. Me too.
It's like an actual tingling in my chest.
157
00:08:19,842 --> 00:08:21,511
Hm. And now it's gone.
158
00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:23,930
There it is again.
159
00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:26,266
And now it's gone.
160
00:08:27,309 --> 00:08:30,063
Oh, Niles, must be your
cellular phone vibrating.
161
00:08:31,064 --> 00:08:32,464
Oh, it is. Oh, you're right.
162
00:08:36,821 --> 00:08:39,240
Hello. Oh, hello, Maris.
163
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Uh, yes, I'm tending to
that very matter right now.
164
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,205
Wait, just hold one second. One second.
165
00:08:45,289 --> 00:08:48,544
-Well?
-You may consider the matter dealt with.
166
00:08:49,169 --> 00:08:50,628
Oh. Oh.
167
00:08:50,712 --> 00:08:53,216
Maris? It's all taken care of.
168
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,468
What did you say?
169
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No, I just never heard you
use those words before.
170
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:01,768
Um…
171
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You're welcome.
172
00:09:06,983 --> 00:09:09,862
Oh, Jerome, thank you.
173
00:09:10,529 --> 00:09:14,033
Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen,
I have another business engagement.
174
00:09:14,117 --> 00:09:16,452
-Oh.
-At this hour? My God, it's past midnight.
175
00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:20,586
What kind of business… could it possibly
be of mine where you're going? [LAUGHS]
176
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-Tell me, what do I owe you?
-Oh, nothing.
177
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-I was happy I could help.
-Oh, don't be silly. I insist.
178
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Consider it a favor.
179
00:09:28,718 --> 00:09:30,761
I was in a position to help you.
180
00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:34,140
Perhaps someday you'll
be in a position to help me.
181
00:09:34,224 --> 00:09:35,600
I would love that.
182
00:09:35,684 --> 00:09:39,188
If there's ever anything I can
do for you, you just say the word.
183
00:09:39,272 --> 00:09:41,650
You're very kind.
It's a pleasure meeting you both.
184
00:09:41,734 --> 00:09:42,734
-Likewise.
-And you.
185
00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:45,655
And I meant that.
Anything at all, you just let me know.
186
00:09:48,325 --> 00:09:50,175
I shouldn't have said that, should I?
187
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,128
[LOCK CLICKS]
188
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,050
-Oh.
-Dr. Crane.
189
00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:05,971
Jerome. Look, Niles, it's Jerome.
190
00:10:06,931 --> 00:10:07,891
In my house.
191
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,062
We've been having
the most delightful chat.
192
00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:13,647
Dr. Crane, you're a lucky man
193
00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:15,899
to have such a charming
young woman in your employ.
194
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,362
Oh. Go on. [CHUCKLES]
195
00:10:19,446 --> 00:10:22,783
Did you know his brother supplied
the cement for this very building?
196
00:10:22,867 --> 00:10:23,701
NILES: Oh.
197
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:29,416
Well, what a small world.
Oh, look at the time.
198
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:32,253
Uh, so, Jerome, you didn't tell
us what line of work you're in.
199
00:10:32,337 --> 00:10:35,465
Oh, wait. Let me guess. I'm a bit psychic.
200
00:10:35,549 --> 00:10:38,135
Now let's see… Hm.
201
00:10:38,219 --> 00:10:41,181
You're some sort of a doctor.
202
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,893
-An osteopath perhaps?
-No.
203
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,144
Well, that's odd.
204
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:48,357
I can see you hovering over
people with broken bones.
205
00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:54,947
Uh, boys, why don't you help me get
some refreshments for your new friend?
206
00:10:55,031 --> 00:10:58,411
Yes! Yes! Excuse us, Jerome.
207
00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:02,123
[WHISPERS] Who the hell is this guy?
208
00:11:02,207 --> 00:11:05,335
He's some hooligan who
helped fix Maris' legal problem.
209
00:11:05,419 --> 00:11:08,119
And in return I promised him a favor.
And… Oh, God…
210
00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:11,384
Do you think that's why he's here?
To collect?
211
00:11:11,468 --> 00:11:15,640
No, Niles. He's probably hosting a luau.
He came by to borrow our poi ramekins.
212
00:11:18,184 --> 00:11:20,812
Are you guys nuts? You don't get
involved with somebody like that.
213
00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:23,357
Before we panic, we
should at least talk to him,
214
00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:26,291
you know, get the straight dope.
Also known as the skinny.
215
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,698
Knock it off, Bugsy.
216
00:11:32,368 --> 00:11:35,956
Stealing newspapers is
most un-neighborly behavior.
217
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,584
Now if you would like, I
could find out who's doing it
218
00:11:38,668 --> 00:11:42,618
-and make sure they never even think…
-Oh, no, no, that's all right. Really.
219
00:11:43,549 --> 00:11:46,010
So, Jerome, is there
something we can do for you?
220
00:11:46,094 --> 00:11:49,764
Well, since you ask, you may recall the
other evening I mentioned my lady friend.
221
00:11:49,848 --> 00:11:50,808
If I may…
222
00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:55,314
Oh.
223
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,485
She's a pretty thing, isn't she?
224
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:02,446
Heh.
This is at the dog track where we met.
225
00:12:02,530 --> 00:12:03,489
-Oh.
-Oh.
226
00:12:03,573 --> 00:12:05,909
And here's our first Sinatra concert.
227
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:06,952
Oh.
228
00:12:08,287 --> 00:12:11,750
Oh, this was at the funeral
of a business associate.
229
00:12:14,379 --> 00:12:16,088
You know, for the life of me,
230
00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:19,426
I can't recall ever seeing a woman
wearing so many different kinds of furs
231
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:20,636
all at the same time.
232
00:12:22,013 --> 00:12:24,891
Brandy is a uniquely stylish woman.
233
00:12:25,683 --> 00:12:28,270
-Brandy?
-Yeah, the traditional spelling.
234
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:37,656
We've been engaged for eight years,
yet she refuses to set a wedding date.
235
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,659
Oh, this upsets me.
236
00:12:39,743 --> 00:12:44,540
It also upsets my mother whose comments
on the subject are frequent and vivid.
237
00:12:44,624 --> 00:12:46,375
So where do these two come in?
238
00:12:46,459 --> 00:12:49,629
Well, she's reluctant to marry me.
Obviously she needs therapy.
239
00:12:49,713 --> 00:12:51,757
-Oh.
-Well, you know, you're in luck.
240
00:12:51,841 --> 00:12:55,053
Niles happens to be one of the finest
marriage counselors in all of Seattle.
241
00:12:55,137 --> 00:12:58,223
Well, actually, Dr. Crane, I would
prefer that Brandy spoke to you.
242
00:12:58,307 --> 00:12:59,516
To me?
243
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,435
Yeah, no offense to you, Dr. Crane.
244
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:02,729
None taken.
245
00:13:08,653 --> 00:13:11,031
She's a great fan of your show.
246
00:13:11,115 --> 00:13:14,452
I'm sure she'd heed any advice
that you might care to offer,
247
00:13:15,119 --> 00:13:17,998
such as, "Marry him. Promptly."
248
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:19,832
[CHUCKLES]
249
00:13:19,916 --> 00:13:21,418
[LAUGHS]
250
00:13:21,502 --> 00:13:25,131
Yeah, but I'm not here to
put words in your mouth.
251
00:13:25,215 --> 00:13:26,425
You'll know what to say.
252
00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:29,012
Uh, Jerome, uh…
253
00:13:30,889 --> 00:13:33,600
You know, I'm a psychiatrist.
254
00:13:33,684 --> 00:13:38,064
I'm used to rendering my opinion, not
being the mouthpiece for someone else.
255
00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:40,098
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.
256
00:13:40,817 --> 00:13:42,235
Oh, Dr. Crane,
257
00:13:43,196 --> 00:13:46,782
you know, sometimes in life
we must do unpleasant things.
258
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:51,163
I hate to tell you some of the
unpleasant things that I've had to do.
259
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:54,292
I see.
260
00:13:55,627 --> 00:14:00,257
Well, then, why don't you just give
Brandy my unlisted home number
261
00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:03,891
which I'm sure you came across
while you were finding out where I lived.
262
00:14:06,307 --> 00:14:07,975
I'll be glad to chat with her.
263
00:14:08,059 --> 00:14:11,020
Well, thank you. She'll be in touch.
264
00:14:11,104 --> 00:14:13,941
And I hope that very soon
you'll dance at my wedding.
265
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:16,236
[FRASIER LAUGHING]
266
00:14:17,111 --> 00:14:18,489
If I'm able to dance.
267
00:14:20,407 --> 00:14:22,075
If you ask me, you're getting off easy.
268
00:14:22,159 --> 00:14:24,287
He could've asked you
for a much bigger favor.
269
00:14:24,371 --> 00:14:26,914
Dad, how can I possibly as
a self-respecting psychiatrist
270
00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:28,709
tell any woman to marry that thug?
271
00:14:28,793 --> 00:14:32,172
What are you talking about?
He seemed very nice to me.
272
00:14:32,256 --> 00:14:35,259
This from the psychic who
said he was a chiropractor.
273
00:14:37,011 --> 00:14:38,471
MARTIN: Listen, I've heard your show.
274
00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:41,600
One more piece of half-assed
advice isn't gonna kill you.
275
00:14:46,064 --> 00:14:48,567
-Jerome, on the other hand…
-Okay, Dad.
276
00:14:51,112 --> 00:14:53,280
The key to lasting weight loss
277
00:14:53,364 --> 00:14:56,159
is to change the way
you view food every day.
278
00:14:56,785 --> 00:14:58,495
You can't go on through life bingeing
279
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,247
and then starving yourself for two weeks
280
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:02,291
just to fit into that new
gorgeous evening gown
281
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:04,085
you bought for a special occasion.
282
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,369
Can you understand that?
283
00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:08,466
MAN: Yeah. Thanks, Doc.
284
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:16,309
Don't mention it, Steve.
285
00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:18,686
Roz, who's the next caller?
286
00:15:18,770 --> 00:15:21,316
We have Randy from Richmond Beach.
287
00:15:21,983 --> 00:15:23,609
Hello, Randy, I'm listening.
288
00:15:23,693 --> 00:15:25,904
Not Randy, Brandy.
289
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:31,286
-Brandy.
-The traditional spelling.
290
00:15:32,954 --> 00:15:36,041
We're all out of time. My goodness,
I feel so sorry about that, but…
291
00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,460
No, we're not.
We've got five minutes left.
292
00:15:38,544 --> 00:15:39,713
Thank you, Roz.
293
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:44,552
All right, Brandy, go
ahead, your problem, please.
294
00:15:44,636 --> 00:15:46,637
Well, it's my boyfriend, Jerome.
295
00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:51,726
He said I should call you. We've been
sort of semi-engaged for eight years.
296
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:53,145
He wants to get married.
297
00:15:53,229 --> 00:15:57,776
Well… I can certainly hear the love
in your voice, so I say case closed!
298
00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:01,781
-Best of luck to you in the future.
-Whoa! You got a bus to catch?
299
00:16:01,865 --> 00:16:05,743
There's a lot more to it. I mean, for
starters, I think he's cheated on me.
300
00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:08,706
Well, in my experience, when
you suspect something like that,
301
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:10,793
nine out of ten times you're right.
302
00:16:12,753 --> 00:16:17,050
As far as I'm concerned, I think a little
mistrust adds mystery to a relationship.
303
00:16:22,723 --> 00:16:26,477
Mystery I could stand if he
didn't neglect me so much.
304
00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:30,566
I mean, every time we go for a romantic
dinner, he gets a phone call and, bang,
305
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:34,529
it's "Gotta work, babe. Finish
your lobster. I'll send a limo for you."
306
00:16:34,613 --> 00:16:39,327
Lobster? Limos? My God, give
me his number, I'll marry him!
307
00:16:39,411 --> 00:16:40,370
[LAUGHS]
308
00:16:42,331 --> 00:16:47,170
Money ain't everything. Especially
when you got a sex life like ours.
309
00:16:47,254 --> 00:16:49,672
-He's not even good in bed?
-Who knows?
310
00:16:49,756 --> 00:16:51,884
We're never there long enough to find out.
311
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,677
You know, this really isn't necessary…
312
00:16:53,761 --> 00:16:58,058
I said to him last night, "What the hell
was that? I've been vaccinated slower!"
313
00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:12,075
Well, that just leaves
more time to cuddle.
314
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:14,495
-Can I say something?
-No!
315
00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:19,334
Look, I can deal with the other
problems if it weren't for one thing.
316
00:17:19,877 --> 00:17:23,506
All my life I've dreamed
of being a career woman,
317
00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:25,549
but he says I'm not allowed to work.
318
00:17:25,633 --> 00:17:28,929
I'm supposed to sit home all
day, let him take care of me.
319
00:17:29,472 --> 00:17:31,933
So what do you think, Doc?
Should I marry him?
320
00:17:33,351 --> 00:17:34,394
Well…
321
00:17:36,147 --> 00:17:39,776
Taking into account that the years
you've invested in the relationship
322
00:17:40,486 --> 00:17:44,657
and Jerome's obvious love for
you, not to mention his generosity…
323
00:17:44,741 --> 00:17:47,535
No, what?
Tell me what you think, Dr. Crane,
324
00:17:47,619 --> 00:17:50,581
because I really, really respect you.
325
00:17:56,004 --> 00:17:56,922
Brandy.
326
00:17:57,923 --> 00:17:58,758
Run!
327
00:17:59,342 --> 00:18:01,928
Save yourself! Do not marry this man!
328
00:18:03,514 --> 00:18:05,964
This is Dr. Frasier Crane
saying good night and…
329
00:18:06,935 --> 00:18:08,728
See you, God willing, tomorrow.
330
00:18:13,317 --> 00:18:15,904
Yes, I'll have a non-fat
decaf latte, please.
331
00:18:16,905 --> 00:18:21,077
Oh, what the hell? Look, make it a
full-fat mocha, extra whipped cream.
332
00:18:23,162 --> 00:18:25,412
What the hell?
Put a slice of bacon on it too.
333
00:18:28,794 --> 00:18:31,672
-Hello, Frasier.
-Niles, don't… Don't do that!
334
00:18:31,756 --> 00:18:34,176
Sorry. I'm sorry. Double espresso, please.
335
00:18:34,969 --> 00:18:38,169
I heard you on the radio today.
I thought what you did was noble.
336
00:18:39,349 --> 00:18:41,799
To what South American
nation will you be fleeing?
337
00:18:43,145 --> 00:18:44,563
Oh, like I'd tell you.
338
00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:48,047
One minute of interrogation and
you would crack like a Jordan almond.
339
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,904
Frasier, I never meant
for any of this to happen.
340
00:18:50,988 --> 00:18:53,741
-How long are you going to stay mad at me?
-For as long as I live.
341
00:18:53,825 --> 00:18:55,575
Probably take us through breakfast.
342
00:18:57,454 --> 00:18:59,206
Oops, wrong again.
343
00:19:00,124 --> 00:19:01,083
Oh. Oh.
344
00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:04,045
Look. It's Jerome Belasco.
Jerome, take a seat.
345
00:19:04,129 --> 00:19:07,174
Look, Frasier, it's our
friend, Jerome Belasco!
346
00:19:12,639 --> 00:19:14,225
[JEROME SIGHS]
347
00:19:18,898 --> 00:19:21,275
Heard your broadcast this afternoon.
348
00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:23,361
Displeased me.
349
00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:27,950
Let me have a little hot milk, please.
350
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:33,706
When I'm displeased, I get
acid in my stomach, Dr. Crane.
351
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:38,796
Believe me, the last thing I
want to do is displease you.
352
00:19:39,756 --> 00:19:45,095
Or to hear the words "acid" and "Dr.
Crane" in the same sentence.
353
00:19:47,515 --> 00:19:50,853
But, Jerome, I'm sorry, how
could I have advised her otherwise?
354
00:19:50,937 --> 00:19:52,771
She said that you cheated on her.
355
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:57,235
She said she suspected me.
I've never cheated on Ms. Brandy.
356
00:19:57,319 --> 00:19:58,769
All right, be that as it may,
357
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:02,241
how could I advise a woman to
marry a man who's so controlling
358
00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:03,994
that he won't even allow her to work?
359
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:07,163
It may interest you to know that
over the years I've called in favors
360
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:10,085
to get Miss Brandy 14 jobs.
361
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,422
She lost all of them.
362
00:20:13,506 --> 00:20:17,927
So you're saying she's had
trouble finding her niche?
363
00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,846
No, I'm saying she's a dodo.
364
00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:23,851
Now you may love a dodo.
365
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,397
You may think the dodo is beautiful.
366
00:20:27,231 --> 00:20:29,566
You may even wish to marry the dodo.
367
00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:32,404
But you do not encourage a dodo to fly.
368
00:20:35,116 --> 00:20:37,916
And when she loses these
jobs, it makes her very unhappy.
369
00:20:38,619 --> 00:20:41,248
So, for her sake, I said no more jobs.
370
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,752
But now, in order to
convince her to marry me,
371
00:20:45,336 --> 00:20:47,171
I've had to reverse this policy.
372
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,925
So she has agreed to marry you?
373
00:20:50,009 --> 00:20:51,843
If I get her a job.
374
00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:56,266
Not just any job, a job
that she can never lose.
375
00:20:57,351 --> 00:20:59,686
A job where if she burns the place down,
376
00:20:59,770 --> 00:21:03,400
they will apologize to her for
having made it so flammable.
377
00:21:06,779 --> 00:21:10,116
Well, good luck finding
someone who'll hire her.
378
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,334
Oh.
379
00:21:23,507 --> 00:21:25,843
Oh, Dr. Crane, your brother called.
380
00:21:25,927 --> 00:21:28,179
The court time for your
tennis game is 11 o'clock.
381
00:21:28,263 --> 00:21:31,100
Oh, good lord. I distinctly told
him I wasn't available till noon.
382
00:21:31,184 --> 00:21:34,334
Hey, if you're gonna call him
back, put it on the speaker phone.
383
00:21:35,647 --> 00:21:37,483
Don't you think this
is getting a little old?
384
00:21:37,567 --> 00:21:39,610
Well, I think it's just
mean is what I think.
385
00:21:39,694 --> 00:21:41,404
So sue me. I enjoy it.
386
00:21:45,534 --> 00:21:47,913
[LINE RINGING]
387
00:21:48,622 --> 00:21:52,418
Good morning, Niles Crane, psychiatrist.
388
00:21:57,716 --> 00:22:00,428
Yes, is Dr. Crane there?
This is his brother Frasier.
389
00:22:00,512 --> 00:22:04,015
Oh, hi, Dr. Crane, it's me, Brandy.
390
00:22:04,099 --> 00:22:06,893
Hang on, hon, I'm getting another call.
Gotta put you on hold.
391
00:22:06,977 --> 00:22:08,312
[DIAL TONE]
392
00:22:13,486 --> 00:22:14,486
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
393
00:22:14,570 --> 00:22:17,265
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
394
00:22:17,349 --> 00:22:19,576
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
395
00:22:20,202 --> 00:22:21,619
Quite stylish.
396
00:22:21,703 --> 00:22:23,873
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
397
00:22:23,957 --> 00:22:26,625
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
398
00:22:26,709 --> 00:22:28,795
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
399
00:22:28,879 --> 00:22:30,380
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
400
00:22:30,464 --> 00:22:34,010
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
401
00:22:34,594 --> 00:22:37,264
♪ They're callin' again ♪
402
00:22:37,348 --> 00:22:38,891
Good night, everybody!