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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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Oh, slow down.
3
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:16,014
Hey, Daphne, guess what
Eddie ate in the park today?
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00:00:16,098 --> 00:00:18,224
Uh, let's see. A hot dog wrapper.
5
00:00:18,308 --> 00:00:19,684
Nope. Guess again.
6
00:00:19,768 --> 00:00:21,269
-A cigarette butt.
-Nope. Guess again.
7
00:00:21,353 --> 00:00:22,979
-Apple core?
-No. Guess again.
8
00:00:23,063 --> 00:00:25,857
Oh, really?
Must you two play this ridiculous game?
9
00:00:26,483 --> 00:00:29,527
She makes some feeble stab,
and you say, "No, guess again."
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00:00:29,611 --> 00:00:31,946
Then she starts failing away
with even more ludicrous answers,
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all the while you're
chanting, "Guess again"
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till she's gibbering like some
auctioneer with a bad bladder.
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Then you finally reveal the answer,
at which point nobody even cares.
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I'm not sure which one of us got
the worst of that, but I think it was you.
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Guess again.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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[MARTIN GROANS]
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Niles.
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There's a half-eaten
lizard in your elevator.
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And that's the last hint you're getting.
21
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Oh, Frasier, I had a breakthrough
today with one of my compulsive gamblers,
22
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and he gave me two tickets
to the race track on Saturday.
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It's a luxury box.
I thought you might want to go.
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I would love to, Niles.
Why don't you want to use them?
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-Well, the jockeys, if you must know.
-What?
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Diminutive, underweight figures in
expensive silks, wielding riding crops.
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It just reminded me too much of Maris.
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Dad, what about you?
You never turn down the horses.
29
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Ah, sorry. I've got poker with the guys.
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Oh, well then, I'll just,
uh, call one of my friends.
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Jeez, this is sort of embarrassing.
32
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The first three names on my
list, they're all back in Boston.
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What about someone from your wine club?
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Oh, well, truth be told, Daphne,
those people are insufferable bores
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unless they have a glass in their hands.
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-Sherry, Niles?
-Please.
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Oh, I know. How about Ed O'Hanlon?
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Moved away last year.
39
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Oh, oh, how about Edmund Kelly?
40
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If I know ol' Ed, he'd
never leave Seattle.
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Indeed not.
They buried him here three years ago.
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Dear me, really? Well, hmm.
Jeez, I'll miss him.
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Yes.
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Three years from now when you
think of him again, there'll be a void.
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My God, how did this happen?
46
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I've been back here for two years,
I've yet to forge any new friendships.
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Well, you better watch it, Frasier.
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Next thing you know, you're
gonna be like one of these old people
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who are so set in their ways that
they're only happy hanging around
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with people who are the same as they are.
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What exactly is your point, Dad?
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I've lost my knack for making friends?
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Well, I hate to bring it up, but
you never were very good at it.
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It was always you and Niles
ever since you were kids.
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The two of you always holed
up in that damned garage.
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At least until you burned it down.
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You burned down the garage?
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Well, Frasier and his Bunsen burner
and me and my mosquito repellent.
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In retrospect, it was unavoidable.
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Still, you know, Dad, I did have friends
in college and, and back in Boston.
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It's only since I moved to Seattle
that I started falling back on Niles.
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Ooh, "falling back on Niles."
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Oh, Niles, you know what I mean.
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Settling for what's
comfortable and familiar.
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My God, you and I can go out together,
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and I know what you're
thinking before you say it.
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Well, then I'm sorry you
had to hear that, Frasier.
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You know what?
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This would make a
wonderful topic for my show,
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"Making New Friends:
What Are We So Afraid Of?"
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Oh, why do you make
everything so complicated?
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You wanna meet somebody new,
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just walk up to him, stick out your
hand, and say, "Hi, how you doing?"
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Thank you, Dad, I can always count
on you not to overthink something.
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Thanks.
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Hey!
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FRASIER: So why is it we have
so much trouble making friends?
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Is it because we've become closed off,
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no longer want to reach
out to our fellow man?
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Well, I'd like to think
that if one of you listeners
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happen to see me on the street,
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you'd feel free to walk
right on up to me and…
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00:04:06,244 --> 00:04:07,161
Excuse me, Dr. Crane.
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We have to stop for a very important
public service announcement.
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Have you lost your mind?
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You're opening yourself
up to every creep out there.
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Oh, Roz, that's exactly the
kind of cynicism I'm talking about.
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I, for one, happen to believe
in the kindness of strangers.
89
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Well, I believe in the
strangeness of strangers.
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Three seconds.
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Hi, we're back on the topic of friendship.
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Now let's go to the switchboard.
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Roz, who's on line one?
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Good news, Dr. Crane.
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It's Gerard from Stan wood. A new friend.
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Hello, Gerard. I'm listening.
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Well, I called for another
reason, Dr. Crane,
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but what you just said really moved me.
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I wish more people felt that way.
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Well, thank you, Gerard.
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I sense a kindred spirit.
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Maybe we could get together
sometime, have a beer.
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Maybe I could, you know, comb your hair.
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FRASIER: Thank you for
your offer of friendship, George,
105
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but I really don't have $5,000 to invest
in your french fry vending machine.
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And for the sake of those
who do invest, I suggest, sir,
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that you find a better name
than "The Spuddy Buddy."
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane
wishing you all good mental health.
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I mean that today more than ever.
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I just love it when I'm right.
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It makes the day so good.
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-You stacked the deck, didn't you?
-Oh, please.
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You should've heard the
calls I didn't put through,
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let alone these faxes.
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Read some of these.
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-They're sick.
-Oh, Roz, my listeners are not sick.
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Although this one does bear watching.
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Well, here's one that has promise.
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"Dear Dr. Crane, I never
thought I'd write a letter like this,
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"but I was moved by today's show."
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"As a photographer, I come into
contact with new people on a daily basis,"
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"yet I often find it difficult to
make that one-on-one connection."
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"However, your words offered hope,
and I just wanted to say thank you."
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Sincerely, Bob Reynolds."
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-Well, he doesn't sound too wacked.
-No.
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You know what? I think I'm
gonna give Mr. Bob Reynolds a call.
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Oh, are you nuts?
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He could be a raving psychopath with
a trunk full of decomposing squirrels.
129
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Oh, rubbish, Roz. I'm gonna call him.
130
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Where did you come up
with such a disgusting image?
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Meet Garth from Tacoma.
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NILES: You're late today.
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But I'm glad you're here.
I need your help.
134
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My designer is ready to mutiny if I
don't pick a fabric for my new couch.
135
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Now, I brought lots of swatches,
so make yourself comfortable.
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00:06:55,579 --> 00:06:57,747
Frankly, Niles, I'm not here to see you.
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I'm meeting a new friend.
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A new friend?
139
00:07:01,627 --> 00:07:05,880
Yes, well, you remember I was talking
about widening my circle of friends.
140
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Oh, I see.
141
00:07:07,132 --> 00:07:09,092
No more "falling back on Niles."
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No, it's not that I'm trying
to replace you, Niles.
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It's just that, Bob and I are…
144
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Bob?
145
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You're dumping me for someone named Bob?
146
00:07:19,728 --> 00:07:22,022
Niles, I am not dumping you.
147
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I'm just worried that Bob might
feel awkward meeting the two of us.
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00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:29,029
Oh, well, we wouldn't want to make
Bob feel uncomfortable, now, would we?
149
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I mean, after all, I've only been
your brother for, hmm, 38 years now.
150
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What does that mean
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00:07:34,368 --> 00:07:37,068
when there's the possibility
that Bob may feel awkward?
152
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There's a man over there
who says he's waiting for you.
153
00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:42,251
Ah, no doubt the much-ballyhooed Bob.
154
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-Niles.
-Oh, it's all right. It's all right.
155
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I'll go quietly.
Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.
156
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I'll just go home to my Maris.
Oh, that's right.
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00:07:56,765 --> 00:07:58,099
-Bob?
-Dr. Crane?
158
00:07:58,183 --> 00:08:01,019
-[CHUCKLES] No, please, call me Frasier.
-Oh, Frasier, then.
159
00:08:01,103 --> 00:08:03,188
-I'm glad you called.
-Oh, yes, well…
160
00:08:03,272 --> 00:08:04,814
Coffee, please. Thank you.
161
00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:06,358
Well, uh… [CLEARS THROAT]
162
00:08:06,942 --> 00:08:07,776
So…
163
00:08:08,402 --> 00:08:09,903
-So…
-So… [CHUCKLES]
164
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Listen, thank you for your fax.
165
00:08:12,948 --> 00:08:14,866
Oh, I listen to your show all the time.
166
00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,750
I think… I think you're brilliant.
167
00:08:17,035 --> 00:08:18,495
You're probably sick of hearing that.
168
00:08:18,579 --> 00:08:20,747
One would think, but it's my cross.
169
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
170
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That's the thing I love about your show.
171
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You're not just serious. You can be funny.
172
00:08:27,796 --> 00:08:31,133
Well, yes, I, I believe that
humor can be a therapeutic tool.
173
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"Against the assault of
laughter, nothing can stand."
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Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger.
I have a first edition.
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00:08:39,725 --> 00:08:41,810
-I'm a collector myself.
-No.
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You know, I… I was a bit trepidatious
about this experiment, Bob,
177
00:08:46,106 --> 00:08:47,982
but I'm feeling a real simpatico here.
178
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-Yeah, me too.
-I'm gonna go out on a limb.
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What do you say, once
we finish these coffees,
180
00:08:51,737 --> 00:08:53,113
we treat ourselves to a proper dinner?
181
00:08:53,197 --> 00:08:54,948
-Hey, that sounds great.
-Okay.
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00:08:55,032 --> 00:08:56,742
So, what are you reading?
183
00:08:57,659 --> 00:09:01,330
It's my bible.
The Big Book of Barbecue by Jeff Filgo.
184
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:03,873
He's a Texan.
185
00:09:03,957 --> 00:09:06,543
You know, of course all Texans
think they invented barbecue.
186
00:09:06,627 --> 00:09:07,920
Arrogant bastards.
187
00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:10,339
You like barbecue?
188
00:09:11,089 --> 00:09:16,302
Well, you know, on a national
holiday, 4th of July, that sort of…
189
00:09:16,386 --> 00:09:18,555
You know the secret to good barbecue?
190
00:09:19,181 --> 00:09:20,223
Mesquite.
191
00:09:20,307 --> 00:09:25,270
And the secret to mesquite is you
gotta soak them in water for ten minutes.
192
00:09:25,354 --> 00:09:27,605
On special occasions,
I'll soak them in beer.
193
00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:31,776
Once, I soaked them in sake
for that flavor of the Far East.
194
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:34,863
You know, in Japan, they
call their barbecues "hibachis."
195
00:09:34,947 --> 00:09:36,323
The arrogant bastards.
196
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,744
You know, I'm digging my
own barbecue pit right now.
197
00:09:41,828 --> 00:09:44,289
My specialty is a Cheyenne Smoky Quail.
198
00:09:44,373 --> 00:09:47,917
The trick is a high engulfing
flame, like a forest fire.
199
00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:50,651
Of course, they call forest
fires "nature's barbecue."
200
00:09:52,547 --> 00:09:56,635
Do you know what my co-workers call me?
Shis-ka-Bob.
201
00:09:59,429 --> 00:10:00,305
Ah.
202
00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:06,102
Well, Bob, do you have
any charcoal-free interests?
203
00:10:06,186 --> 00:10:08,021
Yeah, I'm a professional photographer.
204
00:10:08,105 --> 00:10:09,522
"The camera never lies."
205
00:10:09,606 --> 00:10:12,025
Yes. Now, see, I am a
bit of a camera buff myself.
206
00:10:12,109 --> 00:10:13,860
So, what's your trade?
Are you a photojournalist?
207
00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:16,029
I take kids' portraits at ValueMart.
208
00:10:16,113 --> 00:10:17,739
"Where your dollar buys more."
209
00:10:20,284 --> 00:10:23,034
You know what?
Why don't we talk about this over dinner?
210
00:10:25,122 --> 00:10:25,998
Right.
211
00:10:29,084 --> 00:10:32,129
You know, Bob, about that dinner…
212
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,883
How about, uh, Tex-Mex, huh?
213
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,594
Hey, you're talking my language.
214
00:10:40,512 --> 00:10:41,612
[WHEELCHAIR SQUEAKING]
215
00:10:43,223 --> 00:10:44,823
[WHEELCHAIR CONTINUES SQUEAKING]
216
00:10:52,274 --> 00:10:53,567
No, you don't.
217
00:10:54,651 --> 00:10:57,946
I'm fixing you a breakfast
drink with fresh fruit,
218
00:10:58,030 --> 00:11:01,324
yogurt, carob, pitted prunes.
219
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:03,618
A healthy body makes
for a sunny disposition.
220
00:11:03,702 --> 00:11:06,788
You want sunny, let me have my fritter.
221
00:11:08,332 --> 00:11:09,750
Oh, shush.
222
00:11:14,421 --> 00:11:15,755
There we are.
223
00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:20,093
Yeah, there just aren't enough drinks
that build up a nice head of black foam.
224
00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:24,806
Morning.
225
00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:27,225
Well, you were home late last night.
226
00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:30,561
Mm-hm.
I had dinner with a new friend, Bob.
227
00:11:30,645 --> 00:11:32,021
Oh, that's right.
228
00:11:32,105 --> 00:11:33,898
-You have a good time?
-Hardly.
229
00:11:33,982 --> 00:11:37,151
The man talks endlessly on subjects
that are of no interest to anyone but him.
230
00:11:37,235 --> 00:11:40,155
Gee, I can't imagine what that's like.
231
00:11:44,117 --> 00:11:46,828
You know, Dad, he took me to
this god-awful barbecue place.
232
00:11:46,912 --> 00:11:50,790
All they serve is huge
platters of charred, greasy beef.
233
00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:53,668
The only sound you can
hear is the gnawing of meat,
234
00:11:53,752 --> 00:11:54,961
the smacking of lips
235
00:11:55,045 --> 00:11:57,839
and the clatter of
bones hitting the floor.
236
00:11:59,299 --> 00:12:01,699
I can't take it anymore.
I'm having that fritter.
237
00:12:04,846 --> 00:12:07,432
If you don't like this man, why
did you have dinner with him?
238
00:12:07,516 --> 00:12:10,643
Well, I was going to tell him that
I didn't want to see him anymore,
239
00:12:10,727 --> 00:12:13,563
but you see, it's a bit
more delicate than just that.
240
00:12:14,981 --> 00:12:16,149
The problem is
241
00:12:17,317 --> 00:12:18,860
he's in a wheelchair.
242
00:12:18,944 --> 00:12:20,111
So what?
243
00:12:20,195 --> 00:12:21,738
If you don't like him, you don't like him.
244
00:12:21,822 --> 00:12:23,906
Well, I know that. It's just that…
245
00:12:23,990 --> 00:12:26,826
I'd hate to have him think it
was just because of the chair.
246
00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:30,079
I have worked with the
disabled for over ten years now.
247
00:12:30,163 --> 00:12:33,708
And if it's one thing I've learned,
they don't want special treatment.
248
00:12:34,793 --> 00:12:36,419
Oh, I forgot to bring in the paper.
249
00:12:36,503 --> 00:12:37,879
Daphne, would you get it?
250
00:12:37,963 --> 00:12:40,132
My leg's just aching and throbbing.
251
00:12:40,841 --> 00:12:42,134
[DOORBELL RINGS]
252
00:12:43,718 --> 00:12:44,553
I'll get it.
253
00:12:46,138 --> 00:12:47,688
You know, Daphne, you're right.
254
00:12:48,473 --> 00:12:50,892
I was kind of a coward, wasn't I?
255
00:12:50,976 --> 00:12:53,226
But, well, at least I got
through the evening.
256
00:12:54,354 --> 00:12:55,772
Here's your paper, buddy.
257
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,153
Bob, you're here. Uh…
258
00:13:02,237 --> 00:13:04,489
-Did we have plans?
-No.
259
00:13:04,573 --> 00:13:06,783
I was in the neighborhood.
Just thought I'd stop by.
260
00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:09,369
Oh, did I mention
where I lived last night?
261
00:13:09,453 --> 00:13:11,621
I am astonishingly sure I didn't.
262
00:13:13,039 --> 00:13:15,541
You'd be amazed what you
can find out with computers today.
263
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,960
-Anyway, I brought bagels…
-[WHEELCHAIR SQUEAKING]
264
00:13:18,044 --> 00:13:22,006
…poppy seed, pumpernickel,
rye, sesame, onion, garlic.
265
00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:23,674
Because after all,
266
00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:26,386
breakfast is the most
"important meal of the day."
267
00:13:26,470 --> 00:13:27,820
Hey-ho, you must be Martin.
268
00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:30,098
-You're Daphne.
-That's right.
269
00:13:30,182 --> 00:13:31,682
-And you must be Bob.
-That's me.
270
00:13:31,766 --> 00:13:34,666
-Bob, same backwards as forwards.
-[WHEELCHAIR SQUEAKING]
271
00:13:35,228 --> 00:13:37,481
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
272
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,720
ROZ: You got some messages.
273
00:13:45,197 --> 00:13:49,868
Bob, Bob, and, oh,
look, here's one from Bob.
274
00:13:51,828 --> 00:13:55,248
Two weeks and 45 phone calls.
275
00:13:55,332 --> 00:13:57,334
Can't we just get an unlisted number?
276
00:13:57,876 --> 00:14:00,044
They sort of frown on
that with call-in shows.
277
00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:01,212
I know.
278
00:14:01,296 --> 00:14:03,965
Frasier, you've got to
do something about Bob.
279
00:14:04,049 --> 00:14:05,091
I know, Roz.
280
00:14:05,175 --> 00:14:07,427
[GRUNTS] I'm working up to it.
281
00:14:07,511 --> 00:14:10,388
The longer you put it off, the
worse he'll feel when you tell him.
282
00:14:10,472 --> 00:14:11,322
Yes, I know that.
283
00:14:12,307 --> 00:14:13,266
I'm a psychiatrist.
284
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,935
I'm quite capable of
dealing with difficult problems
285
00:14:16,019 --> 00:14:17,812
in a sensitive, mature fashion.
286
00:14:18,438 --> 00:14:19,272
Wait.
287
00:14:20,565 --> 00:14:21,441
Do you hear that?
288
00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:23,901
That squeak?
289
00:14:23,985 --> 00:14:27,614
-What squeak?
-He's here. It's Bob.
290
00:14:28,698 --> 00:14:30,741
-I don't hear anything.
-Oh, that's right.
291
00:14:30,825 --> 00:14:32,327
Only dogs and I can hear it.
292
00:14:34,663 --> 00:14:36,539
-Frasier, you're being paranoid.
-No.
293
00:14:36,623 --> 00:14:38,040
-[SQUEAKING]
-[YELPS]
294
00:14:38,124 --> 00:14:40,585
It's the sound of his chair.
I'd know it anywhere.
295
00:14:40,669 --> 00:14:42,920
[SQUEAKING]
296
00:14:43,004 --> 00:14:44,839
Oh, my God!
297
00:14:51,179 --> 00:14:52,847
-Hi, Bob.
-Knock, knock, Roz.
298
00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:54,056
Frasier around?
299
00:14:54,140 --> 00:14:56,726
-You just missed him.
-Too bad. I got great news.
300
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:59,145
I checked out that vacancy
in his apartment building,
301
00:14:59,229 --> 00:15:01,355
and well, guess who's gonna be neighbors?
302
00:15:01,439 --> 00:15:02,274
[FRASIER YELPS]
303
00:15:05,527 --> 00:15:07,195
-What was that?
-Feedback.
304
00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:10,073
This equipment's old and pathetic.
305
00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:14,994
Well, maybe I can catch Frasier
back at his place. [CHUCKLES]
306
00:15:15,078 --> 00:15:17,788
-Correction, our place.
-[ROZ CHUCKLES]
307
00:15:17,872 --> 00:15:19,832
-Bye, Bob.
-Bye, Roz.
308
00:15:19,916 --> 00:15:21,918
[WHEELCHAIR SQUEAKING]
309
00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:27,757
-Okay, he's gone. You can come out now.
-No, he's not.
310
00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:29,509
He's never really gone.
311
00:15:30,552 --> 00:15:32,887
So Bob's gonna be your new neighbor.
312
00:15:32,971 --> 00:15:36,015
[TEXAN ACCENT] Well, break out the
butane and every day can be barbecue day.
313
00:15:36,099 --> 00:15:39,018
Oh, no. No.
314
00:15:39,102 --> 00:15:41,812
He is not going to move into my building.
I won't allow it.
315
00:15:41,896 --> 00:15:42,855
I'm gonna talk to him.
316
00:15:42,939 --> 00:15:43,981
I could use your advice.
317
00:15:44,065 --> 00:15:45,441
You've broken up with a lot of people.
318
00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:47,485
What do you find to be the
most effective thing to say?
319
00:15:47,569 --> 00:15:49,696
"I love you and I want to have your baby."
320
00:15:51,656 --> 00:15:53,366
Good, I've got my fallback.
321
00:15:57,495 --> 00:15:59,330
Oh, Niles, Niles, I need to talk.
322
00:15:59,414 --> 00:16:01,207
Bob's meeting me here and…
323
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:02,458
This isn't my usual.
324
00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,711
Well, it's not for you.
It's for my friend.
325
00:16:07,672 --> 00:16:09,840
-That man is your friend?
-Yep.
326
00:16:09,924 --> 00:16:13,719
We share thoughts, feelings,
talk about the arts, current events.
327
00:16:13,803 --> 00:16:15,597
Today we're just… hanging.
328
00:16:20,352 --> 00:16:21,811
-There you are.
-Thanks.
329
00:16:21,895 --> 00:16:23,020
My pleasure.
330
00:16:23,104 --> 00:16:25,815
You know, I can't stay long.
331
00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:28,359
I've got four more pools to
clean today besides yours,
332
00:16:28,443 --> 00:16:29,944
and I'm gonna lose sunlight.
333
00:16:30,904 --> 00:16:34,366
You know, Ralph, I was thinking that
334
00:16:34,908 --> 00:16:37,326
in many ways, my
profession is a lot like yours.
335
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:40,246
I start out skimming the
surface of the human psyche.
336
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:44,417
And I plunge ever deeper
into the murky undercurrents,
337
00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,169
adding chemicals when necessary.
338
00:16:51,091 --> 00:16:52,926
There's a lot of leaves this year.
339
00:16:56,513 --> 00:16:59,557
I'm glad you called.
I was starting to get self-conscious.
340
00:16:59,641 --> 00:17:03,185
It seems like I'm always
the one calling or stopping by
341
00:17:03,269 --> 00:17:05,980
or suggesting dinner or
movies or shopping for hats.
342
00:17:06,064 --> 00:17:09,067
Oh, hey, I got you a beaut.
343
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,571
Oh, Bob, you really shouldn't have.
344
00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:15,657
I knew you'd like it, neighbor.
345
00:17:16,241 --> 00:17:18,576
[CHUCKLES] Yes, about that, Bob.
346
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:20,077
Have you actually signed a lease yet?
347
00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:21,370
No. Why?
348
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:24,665
Well, we need to talk.
349
00:17:24,749 --> 00:17:28,127
Whoa, if you were a woman,
I'd swear you were dumping me.
350
00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:29,713
[GIGGLES]
351
00:17:31,047 --> 00:17:32,340
The blue one's nice.
352
00:17:32,424 --> 00:17:35,968
I'm just concerned that the blue might be
a bit overbearing on a couch of that size.
353
00:17:36,052 --> 00:17:39,513
Uh, although it might compliment
that Kilim rug I was telling you about.
354
00:17:39,597 --> 00:17:40,640
What do you think?
355
00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:42,142
I live in my van.
356
00:17:46,104 --> 00:17:49,774
So you probably go for colors
that add the illusion of space.
357
00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:53,402
You know, Dr. Crane,
to be perfectly honest,
358
00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:55,655
when you asked if I wanted coffee,
359
00:17:55,739 --> 00:17:57,639
I thought you were gonna bring me one.
360
00:18:00,034 --> 00:18:01,243
Duly noted, Ralph.
361
00:18:01,327 --> 00:18:04,581
Next week you can go back
to drinking from the hose.
362
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:11,754
You see, I just don't think
there's a basis between us
363
00:18:11,838 --> 00:18:14,964
for a sound friendship. It's…
364
00:18:15,048 --> 00:18:17,342
Neither of us should feel bad about it.
365
00:18:17,426 --> 00:18:19,219
That's easy for you to say.
366
00:18:19,303 --> 00:18:20,845
You're not the one being rejected.
367
00:18:20,929 --> 00:18:23,056
Oh, no, no, I'm not rejecting you. It's…
368
00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:26,059
Truth is you're pleasant, you're charming…
369
00:18:26,143 --> 00:18:27,519
Frasier, I'm an adult here.
370
00:18:28,145 --> 00:18:31,147
At least respect me enough to tell
me what it is you don't like about me.
371
00:18:31,231 --> 00:18:32,232
[SIGHS]
372
00:18:32,316 --> 00:18:35,318
Well, all right.
We have absolutely nothing in common.
373
00:18:35,402 --> 00:18:39,656
You talk on endlessly about
subjects that I have no interest in.
374
00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:43,702
You call me all the time, and,
frankly, you're suffocating me.
375
00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:49,041
Wow. I don't know what to say. I…
376
00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:51,708
I wish you'd said something sooner.
377
00:18:52,169 --> 00:18:54,797
I wanted to. It's…
frankly, I was afraid that
378
00:18:55,923 --> 00:18:58,634
you'd think it was
because of the, you know…
379
00:18:59,343 --> 00:19:00,177
The what?
380
00:19:01,011 --> 00:19:02,471
The wheelchair.
381
00:19:03,555 --> 00:19:04,723
Why would I think that?
382
00:19:04,807 --> 00:19:06,641
Well, I don't know.
383
00:19:06,725 --> 00:19:08,275
I just wanted you to know that.
384
00:19:08,977 --> 00:19:11,187
I wish it did have to do with the chair.
385
00:19:11,271 --> 00:19:12,397
I beg your pardon?
386
00:19:12,481 --> 00:19:16,818
Well, if the chair were your
problem, that would make you a jerk.
387
00:19:16,902 --> 00:19:20,488
-This way, I'm the jerk.
-Well, I wouldn't say that.
388
00:19:20,572 --> 00:19:21,531
Well, you just did.
389
00:19:21,615 --> 00:19:23,565
You just said I'm boring and obnoxious.
390
00:19:24,284 --> 00:19:26,036
Who knows people better than you?
391
00:19:28,038 --> 00:19:30,165
You can… You can keep the hat.
392
00:19:32,459 --> 00:19:34,253
Bob, wait.
393
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:36,213
Uh…
394
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:40,300
Please, look, I've gotta level with you.
395
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,763
The truth is I find
nothing wrong with you.
396
00:19:47,099 --> 00:19:49,268
I was just a bit ashamed to admit it, but…
397
00:19:51,395 --> 00:19:52,271
It is the chair.
398
00:19:53,814 --> 00:19:54,648
What?
399
00:19:55,566 --> 00:20:00,320
I think, frankly, that you are
wonderful company, wildly stimulating.
400
00:20:00,404 --> 00:20:02,155
Your hobbies are so fascinating.
401
00:20:02,948 --> 00:20:05,117
And you have a sense of style that really…
402
00:20:05,868 --> 00:20:07,578
It doesn't compare to anyone's.
403
00:20:08,954 --> 00:20:11,206
It's just… me.
404
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:13,292
I feel petty and small about it, but…
405
00:20:14,543 --> 00:20:16,336
I can't get past the chair.
406
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:17,421
I'm sorry. Please.
407
00:20:18,630 --> 00:20:20,465
I'm sorry. This is goodbye.
408
00:20:20,549 --> 00:20:22,592
I don't believe this.
409
00:20:22,676 --> 00:20:24,803
You don't wanna be my friend
because I'm in a wheelchair?
410
00:20:24,887 --> 00:20:25,804
What?
411
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:28,932
That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
412
00:20:29,016 --> 00:20:31,142
Well, look, you don't understand.
413
00:20:31,226 --> 00:20:35,146
What's not to understand? You just
said flat out my chair repulses you.
414
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:37,398
What kind of a person does that?
415
00:20:37,482 --> 00:20:39,025
I've got a birthmark on my back.
416
00:20:39,109 --> 00:20:41,209
-I guess we can't be friends either.
-Oh.
417
00:20:41,904 --> 00:20:42,987
People, please.
418
00:20:43,071 --> 00:20:45,240
You know, frankly, this
doesn't concern any of you.
419
00:20:45,324 --> 00:20:47,826
When I think about
all the gifts I gave you.
420
00:20:47,910 --> 00:20:51,162
All the barbecue sauce,
hot and spicy, Tex-Mex,
421
00:20:51,246 --> 00:20:54,332
mesquite, teriyaki, honey mustard…
422
00:20:54,416 --> 00:20:57,628
Oh, for God's sake, Bob, put a sock in it.
423
00:20:58,754 --> 00:21:01,756
We were just on our way to dinner.
Would you like to join us?
424
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:02,925
I'd love to.
425
00:21:05,302 --> 00:21:09,181
-So you guys like barbecue?
-Yeah, who doesn't?
426
00:21:39,836 --> 00:21:42,130
Are these wing tips too
busy with these pants?
427
00:21:43,966 --> 00:21:46,175
Well, yes, they're a bit frenzied.
428
00:21:46,259 --> 00:21:48,428
A woven lace would tone down the glitz.
429
00:21:48,512 --> 00:21:50,221
I might have to go overseas for that.
430
00:21:50,305 --> 00:21:51,890
No, no, not all.
You can get them downtown.
431
00:21:51,974 --> 00:21:53,474
-Who shops downtown anymore?
-I do.
432
00:21:53,558 --> 00:21:54,977
You and who else?
433
00:21:58,271 --> 00:22:00,273
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
434
00:22:01,108 --> 00:22:03,816
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
435
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:06,237
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
436
00:22:06,321 --> 00:22:07,989
Mercy.
437
00:22:08,073 --> 00:22:10,700
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
438
00:22:10,784 --> 00:22:13,369
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
439
00:22:13,453 --> 00:22:15,204
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
440
00:22:15,288 --> 00:22:16,706
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
441
00:22:16,790 --> 00:22:20,377
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
442
00:22:22,170 --> 00:22:23,547
♪ They're callin' again ♪
443
00:22:25,090 --> 00:22:27,502
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
444
00:22:27,586 --> 00:22:29,261
What is a boy to do?
445
00:22:31,763 --> 00:22:34,766
Frasier has left the building.