1 00:00:02,233 --> 00:00:04,234 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,447 --> 00:00:14,993 And so, in the opinion of this critic, Mickey's Good Time Tavern is anything but. 3 00:00:15,077 --> 00:00:17,787 Dismal decor, perfunctory service, 4 00:00:17,871 --> 00:00:20,832 and cuisine that's only marginally preferable to hunger. 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,835 And finally, on a sadder note, 6 00:00:24,919 --> 00:00:27,629 after 53 years in the same location, 7 00:00:27,713 --> 00:00:29,881 Orsini's is closing its doors. 8 00:00:29,965 --> 00:00:34,676 And so tonight a sad adieu to the grande dame of Seattle restaurants. 9 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,555 I thought he was the grande dame of Seattle restaurants. 10 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,058 Until next time, this is Gil Chesterton saying 11 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:45,520 bon appétit, Buon appetito, and nifty noshing. 12 00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:50,398 -Gil, why is Orsini's closing? -The owner's getting old. 13 00:00:50,482 --> 00:00:53,234 He wants to sell. And just between us, 14 00:00:53,318 --> 00:00:56,821 I'm afraid Orsini's is a bit like wine that's stayed too long in the cellar. 15 00:00:56,905 --> 00:00:59,448 It retains only memories of its former glory. 16 00:00:59,532 --> 00:01:02,532 -Not comping your check anymore? -GIL: Not for months now. 17 00:01:03,453 --> 00:01:04,411 You know, 18 00:01:04,495 --> 00:01:06,663 Orsini's used to be my favorite restaurant. 19 00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:08,956 -You ever been there, Roz? -Are you kidding? 20 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,542 My typical date's idea of a gourmet evening is takeout, 21 00:01:11,626 --> 00:01:13,226 make out, and home by Letterman. 22 00:01:16,505 --> 00:01:17,964 -Knock, knock. -Hello, Niles. 23 00:01:18,048 --> 00:01:20,299 This is not a good time for a visit. Show starts in two minutes. 24 00:01:20,383 --> 00:01:23,469 Just enough time to show you the John Steinbeck first edition 25 00:01:23,553 --> 00:01:24,887 I bought at the rare-book fair. 26 00:01:24,971 --> 00:01:27,139 Saint Katy the Virgin in like-new condition. 27 00:01:27,223 --> 00:01:29,323 Yes, well, she'd have to be, wouldn't she? 28 00:01:31,769 --> 00:01:34,396 It's quite a charming book. It's a shame more people haven't read it. 29 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,105 -Ooh, let's see. -Don't touch. 30 00:01:36,189 --> 00:01:38,148 The smallest smudge decreases its value. 31 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:41,610 Oh, Niles, guess what thriving Seattle night spot is closing its doors. 32 00:01:41,694 --> 00:01:43,111 Roz, you're moving. 33 00:01:53,954 --> 00:01:56,415 No, Niles, Orsini's is closing. 34 00:01:56,499 --> 00:01:58,207 Oh, it can't be. 35 00:01:58,291 --> 00:02:00,376 -It's part of Crane history. -I know. 36 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:03,254 Grandfather took me there for my 8th birthday. 37 00:02:06,423 --> 00:02:09,134 -Thank you, Roz. -Childhood memories are so vivid. 38 00:02:09,218 --> 00:02:11,761 Wearing paper hats, singing "Happy Birthday," 39 00:02:11,845 --> 00:02:13,763 sending back the veal Prince Orloff. 40 00:02:17,141 --> 00:02:19,101 -Thirty seconds, Frasier. -Oh, thank you, Roz. 41 00:02:19,185 --> 00:02:22,854 Niles, tonight let's go to Orsini's for one glorious farewell dinner. 42 00:02:22,938 --> 00:02:24,105 Why not? 43 00:02:24,189 --> 00:02:25,440 I'll make the reservations. 44 00:02:25,524 --> 00:02:27,191 -We'll take Dad and Daphne. -FRASIER: Great. 45 00:02:27,275 --> 00:02:29,568 -Will Maris be joining us? -Ooh, sadly, no. 46 00:02:29,652 --> 00:02:31,611 She had a bad experience there one Christmas Eve. 47 00:02:31,695 --> 00:02:33,488 An Italian soccer team was at the next table. 48 00:02:33,572 --> 00:02:35,323 Maris announced she was in the mood for a goose, 49 00:02:35,407 --> 00:02:37,784 and perhaps inevitably, tragedy ensued. 50 00:02:59,469 --> 00:03:00,470 Oh, dear God. 51 00:03:01,972 --> 00:03:05,266 -What has happened to this place? -I know. 52 00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:07,768 It's like running into a movie star you worshiped as a child, 53 00:03:07,852 --> 00:03:10,354 only time has left her hair brittle, 54 00:03:10,938 --> 00:03:13,439 her eyes sunken and dull, 55 00:03:13,523 --> 00:03:17,485 her skin waxy and sallow. 56 00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:21,113 Well, I got quite an appetite. How about you, Daph? 57 00:03:22,322 --> 00:03:26,201 -Yes, sir. Do you have a reservation? -Yes, the name is Crane. For four. 58 00:03:27,703 --> 00:03:30,288 Ah, Table 9 seems to be free. 59 00:03:30,913 --> 00:03:32,123 Right this way, sir. 60 00:03:32,957 --> 00:03:35,707 -Your waiter will be with you in a moment. -Thank you. 61 00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:37,794 -Oh, here, Daph. -Oh. 62 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,505 -Thank you. -Dad, Frasier. 63 00:03:41,298 --> 00:03:43,840 -Isn't that Otto? -Oh, my God, I believe it is. 64 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,218 You know, Otto is legendary here. He's been with them forever. 65 00:03:46,302 --> 00:03:49,095 He never writes a single thing down. He keeps it all in his head. 66 00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:50,597 -Otto! -Oh… 67 00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:51,681 Coming up. 68 00:03:54,142 --> 00:03:55,143 Your check, sir. 69 00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:58,563 FRASIER: No, no. 70 00:03:59,187 --> 00:04:00,563 Wrong table. 71 00:04:00,647 --> 00:04:02,315 -OTTO: Oh. -We would like menus, please. 72 00:04:02,399 --> 00:04:05,193 Sorry. I hate it when we get crowded. 73 00:04:07,486 --> 00:04:09,780 I'm going to the john. Order me a beer. 74 00:04:09,864 --> 00:04:12,324 Oh, gee, Dad, for a moment there I thought you were gonna surprise me 75 00:04:12,408 --> 00:04:13,617 and order a glass of wine. 76 00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:17,651 Oh, yeah, for a moment I thought you were gonna surprise me and button your yap. 77 00:04:18,788 --> 00:04:20,414 I'd order him the crab cocktail, 78 00:04:20,498 --> 00:04:22,750 but I'm afraid the irony would be lost on him. 79 00:04:24,752 --> 00:04:27,671 The owner's going to have his hands full trying to find a buyer for this place. 80 00:04:27,755 --> 00:04:30,089 Yes, alas, I'm afraid we've found one old relic 81 00:04:30,173 --> 00:04:33,008 whose time has come to be put out of his misery. 82 00:04:33,092 --> 00:04:34,719 Oh, no, Otto, I didn't mean you. 83 00:04:36,304 --> 00:04:37,178 Your menus, sir. 84 00:04:37,262 --> 00:04:39,138 -Thank you. -DAPHNE: Oh, thank you. 85 00:04:39,222 --> 00:04:40,515 -Lovely. -Thank you. 86 00:04:42,017 --> 00:04:43,935 It's all right. He's in the men's room. 87 00:04:44,019 --> 00:04:45,186 No, no, Otto. 88 00:04:47,229 --> 00:04:48,230 Leave it here. 89 00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:56,571 Why are Americans always in such an almighty rush to tear things down? 90 00:04:56,655 --> 00:04:58,948 At home we treasure our antiquities. 91 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:02,075 But you people just can't wait to bring in the bulldozers. 92 00:05:02,159 --> 00:05:04,160 I'm inclined to agree with Daphne. 93 00:05:04,244 --> 00:05:06,121 I'll try to contain my amazement. 94 00:05:07,705 --> 00:05:10,124 It would be a crime to lose a landmark like this. 95 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:13,752 I mean, look at it. It's well built, good structure. 96 00:05:13,836 --> 00:05:16,629 It does have good bones. It's in a very good location. 97 00:05:16,713 --> 00:05:19,549 Excellent location. If they only had valet parking… 98 00:05:19,633 --> 00:05:21,843 If they just took down those awful curtains. 99 00:05:21,927 --> 00:05:24,261 And knocked out these pillars… 100 00:05:25,346 --> 00:05:26,472 You know… 101 00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:30,892 I've always dreamed of owning a four-star restaurant. 102 00:05:30,976 --> 00:05:32,310 What growing boy hasn't? 103 00:05:34,604 --> 00:05:35,980 We'd need a new chef. 104 00:05:36,064 --> 00:05:39,316 I happen to know the chef at Emilio's is very unhappy. 105 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,486 Everyone knows that. The man's scungilli is a cry for help. 106 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,446 Frasier, are you thinking what I'm thinking? 107 00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:48,741 I'm picking out china and sandblasting the wine cave. 108 00:05:50,243 --> 00:05:52,744 Owning a restaurant is hard work. 109 00:05:52,828 --> 00:05:56,247 If you don't scald yourself or lop off a finger with a cleaver, 110 00:05:56,331 --> 00:06:00,334 you spend your whole time gagging at grease fires, killing rats, 111 00:06:00,418 --> 00:06:02,336 and brawling with labor racketeers. 112 00:06:04,588 --> 00:06:06,424 Me auntie had a little tearoom. 113 00:06:08,675 --> 00:06:11,010 Don't tell me you two are seriously considering 114 00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:13,596 doing a dumb-ass, idiotic thing like buying this place. 115 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,013 With all due respect, Dad, 116 00:06:15,097 --> 00:06:17,849 we are not exactly neophytes in this field. 117 00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:19,851 We know food. We know wine. 118 00:06:19,935 --> 00:06:22,561 Lord knows, we have style, taste and refinement. 119 00:06:22,645 --> 00:06:24,897 That's what always gets you guys in trouble. 120 00:06:24,981 --> 00:06:27,733 You don't think about the hard work and the long hours. 121 00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:31,277 No, to you, owning a restaurant is just wearing fancy clothes, 122 00:06:31,361 --> 00:06:34,739 hobnobbing with your friends, and turning your enemies away at the door. 123 00:06:34,823 --> 00:06:36,575 I hadn't even thought about that! 124 00:06:38,284 --> 00:06:42,037 When I was a cop walking the beat, there was this restaurant on the corner. 125 00:06:42,121 --> 00:06:44,998 In ten years it must have changed hands 20 times. 126 00:06:45,082 --> 00:06:49,585 First it was Ling Fung's Lychee Palace. Then it was Tony's Meatball Hutch. 127 00:06:49,669 --> 00:06:52,630 Then it was A Little Taste of Yorkshire. English food. 128 00:06:52,714 --> 00:06:55,674 Huh, big surprise, that lasted about five minutes. 129 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,385 Frasier, Dad has a point. 130 00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:01,595 A lot of people have lost a lot of money in this business for one reason: 131 00:07:01,679 --> 00:07:03,097 They picked the wrong name. 132 00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:07,309 True, Niles, but I've got something very special. 133 00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,743 I was thinking about this while Dad was talking. 134 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:13,648 Maison Crane. 135 00:07:14,232 --> 00:07:16,400 Oh, you're right. It's a little too obvious. 136 00:07:16,484 --> 00:07:18,777 We want our name to be inviting and welcoming. 137 00:07:18,861 --> 00:07:19,736 FRASIER: Mm-hmm. 138 00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:22,239 Oh, what's the word for "lighthearted" in French? 139 00:07:23,281 --> 00:07:24,282 There isn't one. 140 00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:28,411 I've got it. Niles, I've got it. 141 00:07:28,953 --> 00:07:30,497 Les Frères Heureux. 142 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,888 -The Happy Brothers. -Hmm? 143 00:07:33,415 --> 00:07:34,499 Brilliant. 144 00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:37,544 It's homey but just hard enough to pronounce to intimidate the riffraff. 145 00:07:37,628 --> 00:07:38,794 FRASIER: Yes! 146 00:07:38,878 --> 00:07:42,214 Ooh. We'll make the place very, very exclusive. 147 00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:44,425 No sign on the outside. No advertisements. 148 00:07:44,509 --> 00:07:46,259 Ooh, and an unlisted phone number. 149 00:07:46,343 --> 00:07:47,593 MARTIN: Don't stop there. 150 00:07:47,677 --> 00:07:49,220 Maybe you could post some guards on the roof 151 00:07:49,304 --> 00:07:51,431 who can shoot people as they try to get in. 152 00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:54,558 Never mind. I believe, Niles. 153 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,143 -Do you believe? -I believe. 154 00:07:56,227 --> 00:07:57,894 OTTO: Have you decided what you'd like? 155 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:02,398 Yes, I'd like the whole damn place, right from the wine cellar to the rafters. 156 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,650 And for the lady? 157 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,950 [LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON PIANO] 158 00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,668 [DINERS CHATTERING] 159 00:08:25,752 --> 00:08:27,837 NILES: We're a hit, a palpable hit. 160 00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:30,173 Every table in the place is full. 161 00:08:30,257 --> 00:08:31,506 Except for that tiny one 162 00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:34,092 wedged in that horrible dank little corner next to the men's room. 163 00:08:34,176 --> 00:08:37,471 Oh, no, that is not a dank little corner next to the men's room. 164 00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:39,764 -That is the Enchanted Grotto. -Ah, yes. 165 00:08:40,849 --> 00:08:42,641 I've been getting nothing but compliments. 166 00:08:42,725 --> 00:08:44,185 Chef Maurice has really outdone himself. 167 00:08:44,269 --> 00:08:47,437 -The menu simply cannot be improved upon. -I agree. Mm. 168 00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:51,680 Unless it would be to add a soupçon of brandy to the cherries jubilee. 169 00:08:54,027 --> 00:08:57,613 Mm. Yes, yes, I want those cherries to be jubilant. 170 00:09:00,575 --> 00:09:01,741 Daphne, Dad. 171 00:09:01,825 --> 00:09:04,243 -Everything all right here? -Oh, yes, Dr. Crane. 172 00:09:04,327 --> 00:09:06,913 Whatever this Anguilla is, it's perfectly smashing. 173 00:09:06,997 --> 00:09:08,372 It's our chef's specialty. 174 00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:10,916 The man can do things with eels you just wouldn't believe. 175 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,668 I arrested a guy for that once. 176 00:09:14,378 --> 00:09:17,088 You and your brother really pulled it off, Dr. Crane. 177 00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:18,297 Yes, well, 178 00:09:18,381 --> 00:09:22,010 sorry to disappoint you, Dad, but seems the restaurant is a success. 179 00:09:22,719 --> 00:09:24,928 By tomorrow we'll be the toast of Seattle. 180 00:09:31,185 --> 00:09:32,976 -What's in there? -Anguilla. 181 00:09:33,060 --> 00:09:34,145 Dear God! 182 00:09:34,812 --> 00:09:36,814 It's Maurice's specialité. 183 00:09:36,898 --> 00:09:40,817 He prefers to kill them to order, then serve them with the heads still on. 184 00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,236 Oh. Thank God his specialty isn't roast beef. 185 00:09:46,531 --> 00:09:48,448 Are those the soufflés for Table 9, Maurice? 186 00:09:48,532 --> 00:09:50,451 I'm just about to bake them. 187 00:09:51,035 --> 00:09:53,537 I know it's not my place to second-guess your presentation, 188 00:09:53,621 --> 00:09:56,171 but would you be averse to trying something radical? 189 00:09:57,457 --> 00:09:58,707 What? 190 00:09:58,791 --> 00:10:00,835 Well, instead of individual soufflés, 191 00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:05,130 bake one large soufflé and dish the portions out at the table. 192 00:10:05,214 --> 00:10:08,764 When people hear the name Niles Crane, I want them to think big soufflé. 193 00:10:10,635 --> 00:10:11,761 As you wish. 194 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,849 There's a party at the door without a tie or a reservation. 195 00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:20,268 -Leave them to me. -Hey, Niles, baby! 196 00:10:21,269 --> 00:10:23,604 Good evening, Mr. Briscoe. May I help you? 197 00:10:23,688 --> 00:10:25,772 [LAUGHS] Does it look like I need help tonight? 198 00:10:25,856 --> 00:10:26,982 Ah. 199 00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:29,025 Do you have a reservation? 200 00:10:29,109 --> 00:10:31,320 Okay, I know what you're sniffing around for. 201 00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:33,196 These guys are all alike. 202 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:37,575 Mr. Lincoln wonders if you got a table for the Bulldog and his lady. 203 00:10:38,326 --> 00:10:40,368 Well, Mr. Lincoln's in luck. 204 00:10:40,452 --> 00:10:43,789 Please, seat these people in the Enchanted Grotto. 205 00:10:44,957 --> 00:10:46,040 Niles, the Grotto? 206 00:10:46,124 --> 00:10:47,542 Oh, Bulldog! 207 00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:49,502 Enjoy our finest table. 208 00:10:51,254 --> 00:10:52,296 Hey, you see that? 209 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,381 Little flash of green, you get whatever you want. 210 00:10:54,465 --> 00:10:55,924 But look who I'm telling. 211 00:11:05,266 --> 00:11:07,101 Um, Maurice, 212 00:11:07,726 --> 00:11:10,603 it's not to second-guess your creativity, but, uh… 213 00:11:12,814 --> 00:11:16,609 I thought we agreed that we would serve the soufflé in individual cups. 214 00:11:16,693 --> 00:11:19,444 -But I was asked to change. -Change on opening night? 215 00:11:19,528 --> 00:11:22,531 Oh, good Lord, no, no. Start pouring, man. 216 00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:26,575 Dad, Daphne. 217 00:11:26,659 --> 00:11:29,203 If you're almost finished, I can call for your car. 218 00:11:29,287 --> 00:11:31,788 You know, your parking attendant looked familiar. 219 00:11:31,872 --> 00:11:33,289 It was Otto, the waiter. 220 00:11:33,373 --> 00:11:34,582 Mm. 221 00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:36,835 I didn't have the heart to let him go, so… 222 00:11:37,877 --> 00:11:40,177 -Hello, Otto? -OTTO [OVER RADIO]: Who is this? 223 00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:43,924 Dr. Crane, Otto. Please bring up Car 44, please. 224 00:11:44,008 --> 00:11:45,009 Thank you. 225 00:11:45,509 --> 00:11:47,594 Little innovation of mine. 226 00:11:47,678 --> 00:11:50,012 This way your car will be waiting when you are finished. 227 00:11:50,096 --> 00:11:51,222 Mm. 228 00:11:59,146 --> 00:12:02,232 Maurice, I thought we agreed, one large bowl for the soufflé. 229 00:12:02,316 --> 00:12:05,317 -This is crazy. This is my kitchen! -Well, it's in my restaurant. 230 00:12:05,401 --> 00:12:06,861 So one big bowl, chop-chop. 231 00:12:07,528 --> 00:12:11,197 And, you, you, you, Table 12 is still waiting for their entrée. 232 00:12:11,281 --> 00:12:13,574 Don't force me to send them complimentary zucchini. 233 00:12:13,658 --> 00:12:16,744 -Uh, that's the in door, sir. -Good Lord, I wonder what I hit. 234 00:12:16,828 --> 00:12:18,496 -What happened? -Good Lord. 235 00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:22,041 This man must have fainted. Here, help me get him into the kitchen. 236 00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,459 -MAN: Oh! -That's the out door. 237 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,836 Well, no harm done. 238 00:12:26,627 --> 00:12:28,588 Good Lord, I think his nose is broken. 239 00:12:29,088 --> 00:12:30,130 What shall we do? 240 00:12:30,214 --> 00:12:31,799 For one thing, start ladling out zucchini. 241 00:12:31,883 --> 00:12:33,384 That one's out cold. 242 00:12:33,468 --> 00:12:36,010 Give me a hand. I'll take them both to the emergency room. 243 00:12:36,094 --> 00:12:38,388 Yes, that's a good idea. Please help this man. 244 00:12:39,473 --> 00:12:43,058 Frasier, true to our name, I'm trying to remain a happy brother, 245 00:12:43,142 --> 00:12:44,810 but do you find it the tiniest bit discouraging 246 00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,271 that we find ourselves with neither waiters nor a bartender? 247 00:12:47,355 --> 00:12:49,146 First rule of the kitchen, Niles: 248 00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:50,606 Remain calm. 249 00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:54,193 No! No! No! I told you individual cups, you oaf! 250 00:12:54,277 --> 00:12:55,653 I told him one large bowl. 251 00:12:55,737 --> 00:12:57,195 Are you out of your mind? 252 00:12:57,279 --> 00:13:01,116 Oh, Niles, why don't you serve it in a baseball glove, for God's sake? 253 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,993 Are you insane? I've never heard such a ridiculous idea. 254 00:13:04,077 --> 00:13:05,494 How gauche! I had no idea… 255 00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:07,579 Maurice! Maurice, no, wait! 256 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,790 -You didn't let me finish. I… -Maurice! 257 00:13:09,874 --> 00:13:12,583 -It was an oversight on my part. -Oh, fine. Now what? 258 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,169 Simple. We just make a battlefield promotion. 259 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,505 Congratulations. You are our new head chef. 260 00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:18,840 Oh, thank you. 261 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:21,466 Now make us proud. Got a very important clientele out there. 262 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,635 At the governor's table alone, we have two state senators 263 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,137 and the head of the immigration Bureau. 264 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,389 [GASPS] Sacrebleu! 265 00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:40,943 Any other names you'd like to drop? 266 00:13:42,026 --> 00:13:43,486 Fine, now we have no chef. 267 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,239 No. 268 00:13:47,323 --> 00:13:49,532 No. Put the hat down. 269 00:13:49,616 --> 00:13:51,951 -No. No. -You are our new head chef. 270 00:13:52,035 --> 00:13:53,745 Don't be absurd. I can't possibly cook those… 271 00:13:53,829 --> 00:13:56,706 Oh, of course you can, Niles. My God, most of the meals are already started. 272 00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:58,707 Oh, Dad and Daphne can help us out. 273 00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:02,503 -Otto, cancel Car Number 44. -OTTO: Who is this? 274 00:14:03,546 --> 00:14:06,714 It's Dr. Crane. It's always Dr. Crane. I'm the only one on here! 275 00:14:10,135 --> 00:14:11,261 Dad, Daphne. 276 00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:13,678 I need your help. We've had a little disaster. 277 00:14:13,762 --> 00:14:15,012 -Disaster? -Will you… 278 00:14:17,474 --> 00:14:20,225 The entire staff has walked out. It's a long story. 279 00:14:20,309 --> 00:14:23,228 Daphne, I need you in the kitchen. I need you behind the bar. 280 00:14:23,312 --> 00:14:26,816 -You can gloat later. -I'll pencil it in. 281 00:14:28,942 --> 00:14:32,528 Well, it won't be the first time I've had to wash dishes for me supper. 282 00:14:32,612 --> 00:14:34,863 But who's going to wait on all these tables? 283 00:14:34,947 --> 00:14:36,073 Oh, Frasier? 284 00:14:37,491 --> 00:14:42,536 Roz! Roz, Roz! Oh, oh, Roz. [LAUGHS] 285 00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:45,915 I'm glad to see you too. Frasier, this is my date, Brad. 286 00:14:45,999 --> 00:14:47,750 -Pleasure. -Pretty great, huh? 287 00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,085 -Oh, yes. -So have you got our special table? 288 00:14:50,169 --> 00:14:51,920 Yes, I certainly have. But before you sit at it, 289 00:14:52,004 --> 00:14:54,297 there's something I want to discuss with you. 290 00:14:54,381 --> 00:14:57,468 -It's probably some kind of surprise. -Oh, try to fool you. 291 00:14:58,009 --> 00:14:59,385 What's your poison? 292 00:14:59,469 --> 00:15:01,678 Oh, I don't know. Maybe I should wait for Roz. 293 00:15:01,762 --> 00:15:02,930 I'd have one now. 294 00:15:04,682 --> 00:15:05,765 Blackmailer! 295 00:15:07,684 --> 00:15:11,562 Honey, listen, I'm really, really sorry, but Frasier's a dear friend, 296 00:15:11,646 --> 00:15:13,313 and his waiters have had a terrible accident, 297 00:15:13,397 --> 00:15:14,940 and this is his grand opening, 298 00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:19,027 and he really, really needs my help, so I hope you'll try to understand. 299 00:15:19,111 --> 00:15:20,444 No problem. 300 00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:23,428 Listen, could I get a menu and maybe some bread and butter? 301 00:15:26,034 --> 00:15:27,243 FRASIER: Dad. 302 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:30,579 Hey, buddy, you from around here? How about those SuperSonics? 303 00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:35,333 Listen, Niles is starting to panic in the kitchen. 304 00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,334 I don't know if we're gonna be able to pull this off. 305 00:15:37,418 --> 00:15:39,628 Why don't you just level with them? Tell them what happened. 306 00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:42,048 People are more understanding than you think. 307 00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:46,551 Well, maybe you're right. Maybe honesty is the best policy. 308 00:15:48,595 --> 00:15:50,055 Everyone, uh… 309 00:15:51,096 --> 00:15:52,431 Excuse me, uh… 310 00:15:52,515 --> 00:15:54,141 Ladies and gentlemen, 311 00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:56,476 I would just like to say… 312 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,436 Good evening, Frasier. 313 00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,729 …bon appétit! 314 00:16:01,314 --> 00:16:03,566 Gil, Gil, my God, what a surprise to see you. 315 00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:05,192 I thought you never reviewed opening night. 316 00:16:05,276 --> 00:16:07,444 -You're my friend. I made an exception. -Ah. 317 00:16:07,528 --> 00:16:10,655 As a special surprise, I brought an entire table of restaurant critics. 318 00:16:10,739 --> 00:16:14,158 FRASIER: Oh. Well, oh. [LAUGHS] Oh. 319 00:16:14,242 --> 00:16:17,494 But we're so booked up, I don't know if I can accommodate you. 320 00:16:17,578 --> 00:16:20,706 Oh, we'll take that one over there. We don't mind squeezing in. 321 00:16:20,790 --> 00:16:23,082 We're simply salivating to try the Anguilla. 322 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:25,668 We hear your chef is an absolute wizard with eels. 323 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:26,836 Eels? 324 00:16:27,712 --> 00:16:30,338 Well, that was his old specialty. 325 00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:32,675 But you really must try his new specialty… 326 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,385 Scrambled eggs. 327 00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:38,721 Eels it is. 328 00:16:39,514 --> 00:16:41,390 Okay, Table 4 wants to make some changes. 329 00:16:41,474 --> 00:16:43,850 They want the sole veronique but without the grapes, 330 00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:46,936 spinach instead of broccoli, and risotto instead of pasta. 331 00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,022 They want the swordfish but hold the capers… 332 00:16:49,106 --> 00:16:52,441 Oh, for heaven sakes, can't you just tell them no substitutions? 333 00:16:52,525 --> 00:16:54,193 I have trouble saying no. 334 00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:55,653 So the guidebooks tell us. 335 00:16:57,238 --> 00:16:59,405 You wanna get thrown in the tank with the rest of the eels? 336 00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:01,866 Well, you're not making this very easy. 337 00:17:01,950 --> 00:17:04,744 You waltz in here, queen of the waitresses, la-di-da. 338 00:17:04,828 --> 00:17:07,245 Extra broccoli, hold the capers. 339 00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:09,623 And then you go back out on the fun side of the door. 340 00:17:09,707 --> 00:17:12,710 You wanna trade places with me, Mary Poppins? Be my guest. 341 00:17:13,752 --> 00:17:15,669 How dare you use that tone with her? 342 00:17:15,753 --> 00:17:18,006 [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 343 00:17:19,257 --> 00:17:20,592 All right, stop it! 344 00:17:22,551 --> 00:17:23,802 Get a grip. 345 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,971 You're not being asked to do anything that none of us hasn't done before 346 00:17:27,055 --> 00:17:30,683 in our own kitchens in our own home. Now, quick, Niles, kill five eels. 347 00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:33,060 NILES: Wait, wait! 348 00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:38,397 -What? -FRASIER: I'm serious. 349 00:17:38,481 --> 00:17:41,234 Every restaurant critic in Seattle is out there, and they all want Anguilla. 350 00:17:41,318 --> 00:17:42,360 Start killing eels! 351 00:17:42,444 --> 00:17:44,486 But, wait, how do you suggest I do that? 352 00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:45,862 How do I know? You're the chef. 353 00:17:45,946 --> 00:17:48,365 Throw a toaster in the damn tank for all I care. 354 00:17:50,993 --> 00:17:52,451 Oh, Gil, 355 00:17:52,535 --> 00:17:53,953 the eels are on their way. 356 00:17:54,037 --> 00:17:55,955 Our mouths are watering, Frasier. 357 00:17:56,039 --> 00:17:57,665 Our chef is in the process of… 358 00:17:57,749 --> 00:18:00,042 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 359 00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:06,298 …frying them now. 360 00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:09,133 WOMAN: Excuse me. 361 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,636 This is veal piccata. I ordered veal Marsala. 362 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:16,598 So it is. I'll rectify that at once. Be right back. 363 00:18:17,349 --> 00:18:19,768 Niles, this veal piccata has to be veal Marsala. 364 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,861 The mayor's table all wants cherries jubilee for dessert. 365 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,573 All right, fine. You flame them, I'll be out to serve them. 366 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:38,283 Niles, how are those eels coming? I'm just trimming them now. 367 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:42,245 -Oh, no, Niles, take them out of the tank. -Not until I'm sure they're dead. 368 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,499 Oh, for heaven's sakes. 369 00:18:55,632 --> 00:18:56,800 [MUFFLED EXPLOSION] 370 00:19:00,219 --> 00:19:01,387 What was that? 371 00:19:03,472 --> 00:19:04,890 Big blue flash. 372 00:19:05,432 --> 00:19:06,850 Cherries everywhere. 373 00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:14,648 Lucky it didn't set off the sprinkler system. 374 00:19:14,732 --> 00:19:18,109 Yes, fortunately, we have a built-in safety delay for just this sort of thing. 375 00:19:18,193 --> 00:19:20,696 Gives you 15 seconds before the sprinklers… 376 00:19:23,823 --> 00:19:24,949 Kick in. 377 00:19:27,451 --> 00:19:29,870 -Where do I turn that off? -Right over there. 378 00:19:29,954 --> 00:19:33,206 I hope you're satisfied. You've thinned my brown sauce. 379 00:19:36,501 --> 00:19:39,795 Good news! That was just a test. 380 00:19:41,755 --> 00:19:44,717 -I want my car. Now. -Yes, ma'am, right away. Uh… 381 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:46,300 Oh, boy… 382 00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:49,678 Otto, quick, bring Car 23, and hurry. 383 00:19:49,762 --> 00:19:51,930 -OTTO: Who is this? -It's the voice of God! 384 00:19:52,014 --> 00:19:55,683 Hey, Doc, Doc, great touch with the sprinklers. 385 00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:58,061 My date's dress is clinging to her like Saran Wrap. 386 00:19:58,145 --> 00:20:01,938 Ladies and gentlemen, every restaurant has its little adjustment period. 387 00:20:02,022 --> 00:20:05,400 I'm sure someday you'll look back on this and remember it as an adventure. 388 00:20:05,484 --> 00:20:07,402 And if they don't remember it, 389 00:20:07,486 --> 00:20:08,486 I'll remind them. 390 00:20:11,156 --> 00:20:12,406 For those of you who are leaving, 391 00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:15,950 please keep us in mind for your next special occasion. 392 00:20:16,034 --> 00:20:19,621 We plan many new and exciting innovations in the weeks to come. 393 00:20:20,205 --> 00:20:22,207 [CROWD SCREAMING] 394 00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:27,712 Starting with our… 395 00:20:28,463 --> 00:20:29,881 Our drive-through window. 396 00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,677 Number 23 is ready. 397 00:20:49,856 --> 00:20:51,941 How much firepower do you suppose is necessary 398 00:20:52,025 --> 00:20:54,359 to embed a cherry in an acoustic ceiling tile? 399 00:20:57,196 --> 00:20:59,072 Just another question we should have asked ourselves 400 00:20:59,156 --> 00:21:02,825 before we entered the exciting world of food service. 401 00:21:04,702 --> 00:21:06,913 Man, those eels are starting to stink. 402 00:21:08,914 --> 00:21:11,374 Dad, for an hour you've been circling us like a shark. 403 00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:13,751 Why don't you just give us your little speech and get on with it? 404 00:21:13,835 --> 00:21:15,878 Hey, come on, I know you guys. 405 00:21:15,962 --> 00:21:19,215 You're gonna punish yourselves enough without me chiming in. 406 00:21:20,341 --> 00:21:21,383 -Thanks. -Appreciate it. 407 00:21:21,467 --> 00:21:23,927 -Hey, I'm your dad. -[PHONE RINGS] 408 00:21:26,513 --> 00:21:28,163 Hello, Happy Brothers Restaurant. 409 00:21:30,016 --> 00:21:34,228 Table for two? No problem. Smoke-damaged or non-smoke-damaged? 410 00:21:39,941 --> 00:21:40,942 You know, we… 411 00:21:41,651 --> 00:21:43,945 Could tell people he died in the explosion. 412 00:21:50,867 --> 00:21:53,494 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 413 00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:56,231 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 414 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,623 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 415 00:21:58,707 --> 00:21:59,959 Mercy. 416 00:22:00,584 --> 00:22:03,023 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 417 00:22:03,107 --> 00:22:05,546 ♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 418 00:22:05,630 --> 00:22:07,673 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 419 00:22:07,757 --> 00:22:09,257 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 420 00:22:09,341 --> 00:22:12,678 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 421 00:22:14,638 --> 00:22:16,181 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 422 00:22:17,515 --> 00:22:20,225 Scrambled eggs all over my face. 423 00:22:20,309 --> 00:22:21,769 What is a boy to do? 424 00:22:24,146 --> 00:22:25,647 Good night, everybody!