1
00:00:02,298 --> 00:00:04,300
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:12,349 --> 00:00:13,434
[DOOR OPENS]
3
00:00:22,986 --> 00:00:23,987
FRASIER: Dad?
4
00:00:27,073 --> 00:00:28,074
Daphne?
5
00:00:31,119 --> 00:00:32,579
Anybody home?
6
00:00:40,921 --> 00:00:42,923
[PLAYING DELICATE TUNE]
7
00:00:48,553 --> 00:00:50,555
[PLAYING SEQUENCE]
8
00:00:55,102 --> 00:00:56,395
[REPEATS SEQUENCE FASTER]
9
00:00:58,773 --> 00:01:01,317
♪ You shake my nerves,
and you rattle my brain ♪
10
00:01:02,109 --> 00:01:04,612
♪ Too much love drives a man insane ♪
11
00:01:05,112 --> 00:01:07,948
♪ Oh, what a thrill, yes, what a thrill ♪
12
00:01:08,032 --> 00:01:10,993
♪ Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!
♪
13
00:01:13,621 --> 00:01:16,040
[PLAYING DELICATE TUNE]
14
00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:20,210
I still think you're making
too big a deal out of this.
15
00:01:20,294 --> 00:01:22,963
Dad, I have never seen Maris this angry.
16
00:01:23,047 --> 00:01:26,592
I swear, her eye was twitching
like a frog in a science experiment.
17
00:01:28,762 --> 00:01:31,014
MARTIN: Well, when your
mother'd get mad at me,
18
00:01:31,098 --> 00:01:32,724
I'd just grab her, bend her backwards
19
00:01:32,808 --> 00:01:35,101
and give her a kiss that made
her glad she was a woman.
20
00:01:35,185 --> 00:01:37,896
I can't do that with Maris.
She has abnormally rigid vertebrae.
21
00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:39,189
She'd snap like a twig.
22
00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:45,069
Let me guess, Maris has
moved into the east wing again.
23
00:01:45,153 --> 00:01:46,613
Sunday was her 40th birthday.
24
00:01:46,697 --> 00:01:50,492
She said in no uncertain terms she
wanted no acknowledgment of it whatsoever.
25
00:01:50,576 --> 00:01:54,162
And in a moment I live over and
over in my dreams, I believed her.
26
00:01:56,039 --> 00:01:58,708
What, no gifts? No party? No nothing?
27
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:02,542
Say that weeping into an ermine lap
robe, and you've got her down perfectly.
28
00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,508
Why don't you just get her
a nice bottle of perfume?
29
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,425
She gets hives.
30
00:02:06,509 --> 00:02:07,843
How about candy?
31
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:08,970
Hypoglycemic.
32
00:02:09,470 --> 00:02:11,347
Then just get her a dozen roses.
33
00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:12,432
Allergic.
34
00:02:13,016 --> 00:02:15,518
Oh, why don't you just sit her
down and have a little talk with her?
35
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:16,602
Tell her it was a mistake.
36
00:02:16,686 --> 00:02:18,938
We all know she's a
bit touchy about her age,
37
00:02:19,022 --> 00:02:21,572
even though it's not the
first time she's turned 40.
38
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:29,324
I know. I'll throw a great big
party for her this weekend.
39
00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:33,160
It'll be a costume ball with
a Louis Quatorze theme,
40
00:02:33,244 --> 00:02:36,706
right down to the powdered wigs
and the crushed-velvet pantaloons.
41
00:02:37,332 --> 00:02:39,167
May I presume you're both
coming down with colds?
42
00:02:39,251 --> 00:02:41,545
[BOTH COUGHING]
43
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,297
And so it goes.
44
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,968
Listen, Dad, you didn't happen to find
a book of mine lying around, did you?
45
00:02:48,052 --> 00:02:49,344
The station manager loaned it to me.
46
00:02:49,428 --> 00:02:51,137
-I promised I'd return it.
-What's it called?
47
00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:53,723
The Life and Times of Sir
Herbert Beerbohm Tree.
48
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,852
It's a stunningly witty
history of the English theater.
49
00:02:56,936 --> 00:02:59,187
Oh, okay, you caught me.
50
00:02:59,271 --> 00:03:01,106
I got it hidden under my pillow.
51
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,484
Dad, you could at least
try to be a little helpful.
52
00:03:04,568 --> 00:03:08,071
-I promised I'd return it today.
-Well, ask Daphne when she comes in.
53
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,365
She was looking for something
to put her to sleep last night.
54
00:03:10,449 --> 00:03:13,077
That book sounds like it
could put her into a coma.
55
00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:04,797
Cute, cute, cute… Mm.
56
00:04:21,188 --> 00:04:22,565
[PILLS RATTLE]
57
00:04:28,905 --> 00:04:30,949
-Dr. Crane!
-Daphne!
58
00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:32,742
What are you doing in my room?
59
00:04:32,826 --> 00:04:35,495
Oh, well, I, uh… I thought you were out.
60
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,538
Not that I make a habit of
coming in when you are out.
61
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:41,793
It's just that, uh, well, I thought…
Well, um, I came in to get my book,
62
00:04:41,877 --> 00:04:44,921
which I have. You see? [CHUCKLES] Here.
63
00:04:45,005 --> 00:04:46,548
Uh, well, we'll just be going.
64
00:04:47,174 --> 00:04:48,758
Me and my book. [CHUCKLES]
65
00:04:48,842 --> 00:04:50,260
See Frasier go.
66
00:04:54,848 --> 00:04:59,311
Nadia, you tell Mrs. Crane I want to speak
to her and don't take no for an answer.
67
00:05:01,606 --> 00:05:02,690
Well, then, Nadia,
68
00:05:02,774 --> 00:05:07,612
you tell her that Dr. Crane says
please, please, please, please…
69
00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:13,909
Maris hung up on you, huh?
70
00:05:13,993 --> 00:05:16,287
No, now she's got Nadia
doing her dirty work.
71
00:05:17,538 --> 00:05:19,123
Nadia is Maris' hatchet maid.
72
00:05:21,584 --> 00:05:24,753
What happened to that Louis
the French Guy birthday party?
73
00:05:24,837 --> 00:05:25,838
Disaster there too.
74
00:05:25,922 --> 00:05:29,425
Maris reminded me that an entire
branch of her family tree was slaughtered
75
00:05:29,509 --> 00:05:30,593
by the Huguenots.
76
00:05:33,387 --> 00:05:35,598
You know, let's just forget
about Maris for the time being.
77
00:05:35,682 --> 00:05:39,269
Shall we sit down, relax and have a
nice meal in a convivial atmosphere?
78
00:05:43,649 --> 00:05:44,941
What is she mad about?
79
00:05:45,025 --> 00:05:46,192
Beats me.
80
00:05:46,276 --> 00:05:48,153
DAPHNE: Here's your favorite, Mr. Crane.
81
00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:49,237
Creamed onions.
82
00:05:49,321 --> 00:05:52,824
And, Dr. Crane, I made me
special glazed carrots just for you.
83
00:05:52,908 --> 00:05:55,494
-Thank you.
-You. Carve.
84
00:05:59,498 --> 00:06:03,001
Well, we don't know what she's
mad at, but we sure as hell know who.
85
00:06:03,085 --> 00:06:05,712
If anyone needs me,
I'll be eating in me room.
86
00:06:06,421 --> 00:06:08,048
You know where that is.
87
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:11,970
What did you do?
88
00:06:12,679 --> 00:06:14,346
This morning I went into her bedroom.
89
00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:16,015
Frasier, how could you?
90
00:06:21,312 --> 00:06:24,648
No matter how irresistible the
urge to venture down that hallway,
91
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:27,443
to press your face against that door,
92
00:06:27,527 --> 00:06:32,157
to actually feel the grain of
the wood against your cheek,
93
00:06:32,782 --> 00:06:34,825
it must be fought. It must be fought.
94
00:06:34,909 --> 00:06:35,910
FRASIER: Oh, Niles!
95
00:06:38,204 --> 00:06:40,414
I simply went in to retrieve my book.
96
00:06:40,498 --> 00:06:43,250
-You're not supposed to go in there.
-What's the big deal?
97
00:06:43,334 --> 00:06:46,421
Do you ever see her leave her door open?
She doesn't like people going in there.
98
00:06:46,505 --> 00:06:48,256
She goes into my room.
It doesn't bother me.
99
00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:50,425
-Women are different.
-Oh, that is sexism talking.
100
00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:52,887
No, that's 35 years of marriage talking.
101
00:06:53,429 --> 00:06:55,180
Women protect their privacy.
102
00:06:55,264 --> 00:06:56,932
You know how they are
about their handbags.
103
00:06:57,016 --> 00:06:58,350
You never go in there.
104
00:06:58,434 --> 00:07:00,060
It's always "Bring me my purse."
105
00:07:00,144 --> 00:07:01,853
A husband could say,
"Honey, I'm being robbed.
106
00:07:01,937 --> 00:07:04,189
A guy's holding a gun to my
head, and I don't have any money."
107
00:07:04,273 --> 00:07:06,358
The wife would say, "Bring me my purse."
108
00:07:11,238 --> 00:07:13,490
Dad, as usual, your simple homespun wisdom
109
00:07:13,574 --> 00:07:16,368
has pricked the balloon
of Frasier's pomposity.
110
00:07:18,412 --> 00:07:22,125
Now, you were wrong.
So go on in there and apologize. Go on.
111
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,668
Oh, all right.
112
00:07:23,752 --> 00:07:27,047
I will go into Daphne's room
and I will apologize to her.
113
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,425
Alone, Niles!
114
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:39,767
DAPHNE: Yes?
115
00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:41,501
FRASIER: Daphne, it's Dr. Crane.
116
00:07:42,187 --> 00:07:43,188
Yes.
117
00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:47,248
FRASIER: Could you open the door, please?
118
00:07:56,827 --> 00:08:01,415
I, um… I behaved very
insensitively this morning, and, um…
119
00:08:01,499 --> 00:08:02,583
I did need the book,
120
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,460
but it was wrong of me to
go in without your permission.
121
00:08:05,544 --> 00:08:06,754
And, um…
122
00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:11,717
And I'm sorry.
123
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,518
And it'll never happen again.
124
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:23,104
Ever.
125
00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:26,107
I'm being very nice.
126
00:08:30,236 --> 00:08:32,072
Well, good night, Daphne.
127
00:08:33,657 --> 00:08:35,575
Oh, wait.
128
00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:38,245
I'm being much too hard on you.
129
00:08:39,204 --> 00:08:41,497
I'm just a little sensitive
about me privacy.
130
00:08:41,581 --> 00:08:43,041
Oh, look, there's no need to explain.
131
00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:45,084
I promise you it will
never been an issue again.
132
00:08:45,168 --> 00:08:48,213
Well, thank you for
being so understanding.
133
00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:52,133
And I suppose me problem goes back
to growing up in a household of boys.
134
00:08:52,217 --> 00:08:54,427
-Oh.
-My brothers were all snoops.
135
00:08:54,511 --> 00:08:56,429
They never gave me a moment's peace.
136
00:08:56,513 --> 00:08:59,766
Oh, it was a filthy little rite of
passage for the Moon boys.
137
00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:01,517
When they reached a certain age,
138
00:09:01,601 --> 00:09:04,229
they'd sneak into the bathroom
and peek at me in the shower.
139
00:09:04,313 --> 00:09:06,314
Oh, dear God. All eight of them?
140
00:09:06,398 --> 00:09:10,737
Well, except for me brother
Billy, the ballroom dancer.
141
00:09:13,448 --> 00:09:14,949
He never peeked at me.
142
00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,828
Though he did peek at me brother Nigel.
143
00:09:26,878 --> 00:09:28,796
-[FRIDGE DOOR OPENS]
-FRASIER: Coffee, Dad?
144
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,342
Why not? I'm up six times a night anyway.
I might as well be alert.
145
00:09:36,596 --> 00:09:38,889
[GARBAGE DISPOSAL GRINDING]
146
00:09:38,973 --> 00:09:41,893
Oh, jeez, the disposal's jammed.
147
00:09:41,977 --> 00:09:45,127
Here, stick your hand down there
and see what's stuck, will you?
148
00:09:47,775 --> 00:09:48,942
Dad, it's me, Niles.
149
00:09:49,568 --> 00:09:51,945
-I can't get my hand in there.
-NILES: Oh, all right.
150
00:09:52,029 --> 00:09:53,906
Punish a man for being fine boned.
151
00:09:55,282 --> 00:09:56,950
-You're sure it's off?
-Positive.
152
00:09:57,034 --> 00:10:00,037
NILES: Ah, ah, ah.
Move away from the switch.
153
00:10:00,621 --> 00:10:01,663
MARTIN: Jeez.
154
00:10:02,539 --> 00:10:06,126
Oh, it's wet and slimy and God knows what.
155
00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:08,169
It's like sticking my hand
into the mouth of hell.
156
00:10:08,253 --> 00:10:09,753
-[GRINDER BUZZING]
-[SCREAMS]
157
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,933
-Give me a call when the coffee's ready.
-Yes.
158
00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:23,352
Sorry, Niles. Dear God.
159
00:10:23,436 --> 00:10:26,686
That's enough excitement for one evening.
I'm going home to Maris.
160
00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:28,816
I thought she wasn't speaking to you.
161
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,800
She's not, but she grows
weary of being frosty to the help.
162
00:10:33,196 --> 00:10:34,613
Oh, by the way, I'm out of cash.
163
00:10:34,697 --> 00:10:37,033
I need something to tip
your garage attendant.
164
00:10:37,117 --> 00:10:37,992
[PILLS RATTLE]
165
00:10:38,076 --> 00:10:39,493
-Oh, great.
-NILES: What?
166
00:10:39,577 --> 00:10:40,619
These pills.
167
00:10:40,703 --> 00:10:43,753
Well, I was thinking money,
but you know him better than I do.
168
00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:51,088
No, no, Daphne's prescription.
169
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:54,122
When I was in her room
earlier, I must have inadvertently…
170
00:10:55,302 --> 00:10:56,804
Knocked them into my pocket.
171
00:10:58,973 --> 00:11:00,523
It's an interesting phenomenon.
172
00:11:00,933 --> 00:11:02,184
I can't walk through a drugstore
173
00:11:02,268 --> 00:11:05,271
without aspirin and decongestants
leaping into my trousers.
174
00:11:07,314 --> 00:11:08,523
Okay, okay. All right.
175
00:11:08,607 --> 00:11:11,735
-I was snooping around a little bit.
-Ah.
176
00:11:12,278 --> 00:11:13,362
Oh, dear God.
177
00:11:13,446 --> 00:11:16,740
"Take one before bedtime."
Oh, no, she's sure to miss these tonight.
178
00:11:16,824 --> 00:11:18,033
[DOOR OPENS]
179
00:11:18,117 --> 00:11:19,910
Oh, you're heading off, Dr. Crane?
180
00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:21,995
-Yes, yes, I am.
-Say hello to your wife.
181
00:11:22,079 --> 00:11:23,164
I'll certainly try.
182
00:11:24,874 --> 00:11:28,044
DAPHNE: Mr. Crane,
time for your exercises.
183
00:11:28,128 --> 00:11:31,678
Oh, great, this is my chance.
I'll sneak back and put these in her room.
184
00:11:31,882 --> 00:11:33,175
Alone, Niles!
185
00:11:37,429 --> 00:11:39,013
MARTIN: The Sonics game's on.
186
00:11:39,097 --> 00:11:40,848
I'll do my exercises tomorrow.
187
00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:43,382
DAPHNE: Fine.
If you need me, I'll be in my room.
188
00:11:49,524 --> 00:11:51,359
You're doing a double set tomorrow.
189
00:11:51,443 --> 00:11:52,903
MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
190
00:11:56,865 --> 00:11:58,408
Grumpy old sod.
191
00:12:02,997 --> 00:12:05,249
[DAPHNE HUMMING "THE BLUE DANUBE WALTZ"]
192
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,001
[WATER RUNNING]
193
00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:18,554
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
194
00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:48,146
[WATER RUNNING]
195
00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:58,115
DAPHNE: What are you doing?
196
00:13:58,866 --> 00:14:01,201
That's disgusting, you filthy thing.
197
00:14:01,285 --> 00:14:03,245
Get out of here right now! Get out!
198
00:14:03,329 --> 00:14:04,454
Daphne, I'm so sorry!
199
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:06,540
[SCREAMING]
200
00:14:07,791 --> 00:14:09,793
[YELLING]
201
00:14:15,424 --> 00:14:16,675
Good morning, Frasier.
202
00:14:19,011 --> 00:14:21,471
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
203
00:14:21,555 --> 00:14:22,472
And a bran muffin.
204
00:14:22,556 --> 00:14:23,599
No, no…
205
00:14:25,226 --> 00:14:26,645
Due bran muffins.
206
00:14:29,481 --> 00:14:31,983
Maris and I burned up
a lot of energy last night.
207
00:14:32,942 --> 00:14:34,235
A lot of energy.
208
00:14:35,695 --> 00:14:37,489
I have to replenish my body.
209
00:14:40,408 --> 00:14:42,494
I assume you and Maris achieved détente.
210
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:44,579
Twice.
211
00:14:47,248 --> 00:14:50,084
What magic words did you
use to melt your little glacier?
212
00:14:50,168 --> 00:14:53,170
When I got home, I sat her down
and I stared deeply into her eyes
213
00:14:53,254 --> 00:14:56,633
and I said, "Maris, here are
the keys to your new Mercedes."
214
00:14:59,512 --> 00:15:01,263
-You bought her a Mercedes?
-NILES: Yes.
215
00:15:01,347 --> 00:15:05,058
Oh, the things that tiny woman can
do when she's properly motivated.
216
00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:09,397
If you're through marinating in your
own testosterone, I have a problem.
217
00:15:10,523 --> 00:15:12,649
Remember last night I went
back into Daphne's room?
218
00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:14,526
Well, she caught me again.
219
00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:16,486
Oh, you're joking.
220
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:19,615
God, I was just so embarrassed that I had
to leave this morning before she woke up.
221
00:15:19,699 --> 00:15:22,149
I left a little note trying
to explain my actions.
222
00:15:22,243 --> 00:15:23,952
Considering the circumstances,
223
00:15:24,036 --> 00:15:26,371
I don't really think there's
any way she can forgive me.
224
00:15:26,455 --> 00:15:28,790
Come, now. It wasn't as bad as all that.
225
00:15:28,874 --> 00:15:31,085
It's not like you saw
her naked or something.
226
00:15:40,345 --> 00:15:41,471
You did.
227
00:15:43,348 --> 00:15:45,433
I took no pleasure in it at all.
228
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:48,978
The entire thing was…
Was just absolutely mortifying.
229
00:15:49,062 --> 00:15:50,146
I want to help you with this,
230
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:52,273
so you have tell me everything,
every sight, every sound.
231
00:15:52,357 --> 00:15:54,108
Unburden yourself before you explode.
232
00:15:54,192 --> 00:15:56,111
-No, no!
-NILES: All right, then.
233
00:15:57,028 --> 00:15:59,906
I'll show you how I've always imagined
her and you tell me where I'm wrong.
234
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:03,034
Just… Put your pen back. How dare?
235
00:16:03,869 --> 00:16:04,869
ROZ: Hey, guys.
236
00:16:04,953 --> 00:16:06,037
-Hello, Roz.
-Hello.
237
00:16:06,121 --> 00:16:07,122
Good to see you.
238
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:12,544
So, Niles, you randy dog.
239
00:16:12,628 --> 00:16:14,839
You got lucky last night, didn't you?
240
00:16:16,549 --> 00:16:18,634
I can always tell.
241
00:16:18,718 --> 00:16:21,846
-Oh, don't worry, you'll meet somebody.
-Oh.
242
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:24,781
May I have a nonfat cap, please?
243
00:16:26,017 --> 00:16:27,601
Roz, this was a private conversation.
244
00:16:27,685 --> 00:16:30,187
I'm helping my brother with
a matter of some delicacy.
245
00:16:30,271 --> 00:16:31,313
-Yes.
-ROZ: Don't worry.
246
00:16:31,397 --> 00:16:33,899
-Shower Boy told me all about it.
-Yeah. Hmm.
247
00:16:33,983 --> 00:16:37,319
I just don't see that there's any
way I can make this up to Daphne.
248
00:16:37,403 --> 00:16:39,655
Well, nothing says "I'm
sorry" like an in-dash CD player
249
00:16:39,739 --> 00:16:41,139
and a passenger-side airbag.
250
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,286
Yes, Maris was upset with Niles,
so he bought her a Mercedes.
251
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:46,455
Woof.
252
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,582
If you're suggesting that I
buy my way out of my problem,
253
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,793
the answer is no.
It's the coward's way out.
254
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:53,545
Oh, so I'm a coward?
255
00:16:53,629 --> 00:16:55,839
-Yes.
-Well, I'm a coward with a hickey.
256
00:17:01,762 --> 00:17:05,808
Buy me a Mercedes and I'll make your
neck look like a relief map of the Andes.
257
00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:08,727
Roz, don't encourage him.
258
00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:11,938
I think that bribery is the wrong way
for couples to resolve their conflicts.
259
00:17:12,022 --> 00:17:15,108
Oh, really? And during which of your
failed marriages did you hone that theory?
260
00:17:15,192 --> 00:17:16,818
Oh, how dare you indict my marriages,
261
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:19,602
considering the non-marriage
that you're involved in…
262
00:17:23,034 --> 00:17:24,536
[DOOR OPENS]
263
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:27,371
MARTIN: Oh, Dr. Crane,
I'm glad to see you.
264
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:28,998
I need some advice.
265
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,876
I've got this son who's a total numbnut.
266
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:35,880
Hello, Dad.
267
00:17:35,964 --> 00:17:37,173
Love your icebreaker.
268
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,091
You'd better get her to stay, Frasier.
269
00:17:39,175 --> 00:17:41,844
She knows my moods, she knows
how to handle me, and I like her.
270
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:45,378
-She's talking about quitting?
-Yes. Now get in there and apologize.
271
00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:48,559
Oh, Dad, Dad, I can't go in there.
272
00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:51,854
No, of course you can't.
Because I asked you to go in there.
273
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,856
When I said don't go in
there, what did you do?
274
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,860
You went in there.
Now I say go in there, so you won't.
275
00:17:56,944 --> 00:18:00,030
That's what I like about Eddie.
He always does what I tell him to.
276
00:18:00,114 --> 00:18:00,948
Come on, Eddie.
277
00:18:05,578 --> 00:18:07,496
He's defying you too, Dad!
278
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,044
Uh, Daphne, Daphne, please, please, wait.
279
00:18:14,128 --> 00:18:17,506
Uh, we've gotta talk.
I feel absolutely terrible.
280
00:18:18,132 --> 00:18:22,010
Oh, now, Dr. Crane, your
note explained everything.
281
00:18:22,094 --> 00:18:24,012
You've got nothing to feel bad about.
282
00:18:24,096 --> 00:18:26,473
Oh, well, that puts my mind at ease.
283
00:18:26,557 --> 00:18:29,768
DAPHNE: A servant like me
doesn't deserve privacy anyway.
284
00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:33,481
Matter of fact, why don't we
just get it all out in the open?
285
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:34,649
Oh, no, oh…
286
00:18:35,358 --> 00:18:38,319
Here's me bank book,
some personal letters,
287
00:18:38,403 --> 00:18:39,862
oh, and me driver's license.
288
00:18:39,946 --> 00:18:42,657
As you can see, I'm 4 pounds heavier now.
289
00:18:42,741 --> 00:18:45,326
But it's in a spot that
doesn't really show,
290
00:18:45,410 --> 00:18:46,452
to most people.
291
00:18:46,536 --> 00:18:50,373
Oh, look, Daphne, I realize how hard it is
292
00:18:50,457 --> 00:18:52,166
to live in someone else's home.
293
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,252
Yes, it is.
294
00:18:54,336 --> 00:18:58,089
But I put up with it because
I happen to love this job.
295
00:18:58,173 --> 00:19:01,551
All I ever asked for was one room.
296
00:19:01,635 --> 00:19:03,970
A little corner I could call me own.
297
00:19:04,054 --> 00:19:06,306
I never minded that I
was up to me eyeballs
298
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:10,394
in your precious earth tones
and your African knickknacks.
299
00:19:10,478 --> 00:19:13,355
But now I have to put
up with you in there too.
300
00:19:13,439 --> 00:19:15,858
And that's one leering love god too many.
301
00:19:15,942 --> 00:19:16,943
Oh, Daphne.
302
00:19:18,527 --> 00:19:21,321
Daphne, you're absolutely right.
You do deserve a place of your own.
303
00:19:21,405 --> 00:19:25,534
Listen, if you agree to stay, I'll
pay to have your room redecorated.
304
00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,244
Just make it your own.
305
00:19:27,328 --> 00:19:29,538
Paint, wallpaper, upholstery,
306
00:19:29,622 --> 00:19:32,624
anything you'd like, just so
that you'll feel comfortable.
307
00:19:32,708 --> 00:19:35,711
How about an electrified
fence and a German police dog?
308
00:19:38,297 --> 00:19:40,549
Daphne, I promise,
309
00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,552
as long as we live under
the same roof together,
310
00:19:42,636 --> 00:19:45,597
I will never, ever set
foot in your room again.
311
00:19:49,017 --> 00:19:50,768
-All right.
-Oh, thank you.
312
00:19:50,852 --> 00:19:53,552
-DAPHNE: I'll give it another try.
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
313
00:19:54,314 --> 00:19:55,690
-Hello, all.
-FRASIER: Oh, Niles.
314
00:19:55,774 --> 00:19:57,817
Hello, Dr. Crane. Goodbye, Dr. Crane.
315
00:19:57,901 --> 00:20:00,528
-Oh, where are you off to?
-Oh, I have some shopping to do.
316
00:20:00,612 --> 00:20:03,740
Your brother just offered to pay
to have me room redecorated.
317
00:20:03,824 --> 00:20:04,866
Oh, really?
318
00:20:07,911 --> 00:20:11,331
I'm thinking of doing the
whole thing in pinks and yellows.
319
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:16,253
Dear God, she's really
determined to keep me out of there.
320
00:20:18,214 --> 00:20:22,676
So you're putting things right with
Daphne by opening up your checkbook.
321
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,512
Oh, I know what you're thinking.
322
00:20:25,596 --> 00:20:27,348
Believe me, it's just a gesture.
323
00:20:27,432 --> 00:20:28,766
Oh, I see.
324
00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:30,517
When I give Maris a car, it's a bribe.
325
00:20:30,601 --> 00:20:33,020
When you redecorate
Daphne's room, it's a gesture.
326
00:20:33,104 --> 00:20:35,773
Niles, our two situations
are entirely different.
327
00:20:35,857 --> 00:20:38,150
You bought Maris off
because you are afraid of her.
328
00:20:38,234 --> 00:20:39,235
NILES: Oh, I see.
329
00:20:39,736 --> 00:20:42,196
And you're not the slightest
bit intimidated by Daphne?
330
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,323
-No.
-Then you won't be at all alarmed
331
00:20:44,407 --> 00:20:45,757
if I were to, say, do this?
332
00:20:46,325 --> 00:20:48,036
Niles! Niles! Where are you going?
333
00:20:50,371 --> 00:20:53,959
-Uh-oh, look, my foot's in Daphne's room.
-Just get out of there.
334
00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,753
What's the matter?
You afraid you'll get in trouble?
335
00:20:56,837 --> 00:20:57,671
Niles…
336
00:20:57,755 --> 00:20:59,548
-Now we're safe.
-Oh, stop it.
337
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:01,716
Trouble. Safe.
338
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,301
Trouble. Safe.
339
00:21:03,385 --> 00:21:05,845
Niles, you're acting like a child.
Just get out of there.
340
00:21:05,929 --> 00:21:07,379
Trouble. Safe. Trouble. Safe.
341
00:21:07,973 --> 00:21:09,724
Oh, good God!
You see what you've done now?
342
00:21:09,808 --> 00:21:11,309
She's bound to find out. Oh, God.
343
00:21:11,393 --> 00:21:14,938
Oh, well, so you'll just write
her a bigger, fatter check.
344
00:21:15,022 --> 00:21:16,982
No, Niles, she'll quit.
345
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:19,401
-What? Why didn't you say…
-Oh, you spilled, you clumsy…
346
00:21:19,485 --> 00:21:20,402
Just pick it up!
347
00:21:22,946 --> 00:21:26,116
-What the hell are you two doing in here?
-Oh, Dad, it's all Niles' fault.
348
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,078
-What's… Oh!
-Just help us, will you, please?
349
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:30,871
-For God's sake.
-Just take those.
350
00:21:30,955 --> 00:21:32,873
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
351
00:21:32,957 --> 00:21:34,292
How do you fold…
352
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:54,104
Ooh.
353
00:21:55,855 --> 00:21:59,066
Daphne, did you happen to see that
sporty little subcompact over there?
354
00:21:59,150 --> 00:22:01,050
I'll bet you could park that anywhere.
355
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:06,950
Is that a Mercedes
dealership across the street?
356
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:08,077
[BARKS]
357
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:17,502
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
358
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:20,218
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
359
00:22:20,302 --> 00:22:22,591
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
360
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,468
Quite stylish.
361
00:22:24,552 --> 00:22:26,991
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
362
00:22:27,075 --> 00:22:29,514
♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
363
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,683
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
364
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,268
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
365
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:37,189
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
366
00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:39,234
♪ They're callin' again ♪
367
00:22:40,277 --> 00:22:41,611
Good night, everybody!