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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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FRASIER: Ah, yes, another
beautiful Saturday night.
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The moon is full,
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the city lights are twinkling,
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lovers steal kisses in the park.
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And here…
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Chez Crane…
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My father and his assistant sit
hunched over 20-year-old photographs
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of a murdered hooker.
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Life is a banquet.
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I enjoy looking at your father's old case.
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Just because you have no plans
tonight, don't spoil our harmless fun.
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You know, there's nothing we
Brits like better than a grisly murder
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and a nice hot cup of tea.
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I've got a lot of work to do here.
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-So, if you don't mind, I…
-DAPHNE: excuse me.
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I didn't know I was bothering you.
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MARTIN: Well, I'm sorry.
It's this damn case.
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I feel like the answer to who
murdered Helen is right here.
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-I just can't see it.
-FRASIER: You're obsessing.
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You stare at these grisly pictures
day after day, night after night.
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Why don't we go out and see a movie?
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-No, thanks.
-Let's go get a pizza.
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-MARTIN: Nah.
-Let's get tattooed.
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Oh…
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This is ridiculous!
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It's a beautiful night, and
I'm not going to miss it.
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I'm going to go out and take a nice
long walk and I'm not going by myself.
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He likes the rhododendrons
on the north side of the park.
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MARJORIE: And I just
want to thank you, Dr. Crane.
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Because of your advice, I've
conquered my fear of heights.
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I took it slowly, gradually
going higher and higher,
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until here I am right now having
lunch at the top of the Space Needle!
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Marjorie, congratulations.
I'm so proud of you.
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I mean, when I think of how I used…
[SCREAMING]
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God, what's wrong? What happened?
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I just looked down.
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Oh, well, Marjorie, don't do that.
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Look at your luncheon companions,
look at your menu, but don't look down.
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You're only feeding your
fears when you do that.
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Maybe I wasn't ready for a window table.
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No, no, no, of course you are.
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Of course you are.
You can beat this thing.
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You're right. I can, Dr. Crane.
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If I just… [SCREAMS]
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Do not look down!
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No, I didn't.
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My check just came.
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Oh, well, Marjorie, we're
just about out of time now.
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Call me tomorrow, will you?
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That's it for today.
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Stay tuned for Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe.
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This is Dr. Frasier Crane,
KACL 780, Talk Radio.
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Hey, Doc.
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Bulldog.
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I caught the first hour
of your show today.
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If that chick whining about
sexual harassment called my show,
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I'd say, "Listen, doll, you don't want
people snapping your bra, don't wear one."
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Brilliant in its simplicity.
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Hey, how's this sound, Hard body?
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You, me, Sonics, Knicks, tonight?
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Sorry, Bulldog, but I'm already going.
I have season tickets.
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We could still get together afterwards.
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Only if I smash into
your car in the parking lot.
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Why is it the ones that want it the
most put up the biggest struggle?
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Because when I do finally give
in, I want us to enjoy it all the more.
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That is, if I'm not too distracted by the
fact that every man on earth has died.
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Almost had her there.
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Yes, it could've gone either way.
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Oh, well, with my pull, I
can get those any time I want.
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Hello, Frasier.
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Oh, oh.
Bulldog, have you met my brother, Niles?
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Niles, this is Bulldog Briscoe.
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Oh, oh, oh.
Just the man I want to talk to.
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As a sports expert, I'm sure you can
tell me why none of the local media
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carry the Ivy League squash standings.
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Whoa! Another one just like you!
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Did some gypsy put a curse on your family?
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-Well, I gotta run. See you later, Miles.
-It's, it's Niles.
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Heh. Like it matters.
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Well, you ready for our boys
night out at Le Cochon Noir?
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[HORN HONKS]
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Yes.
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But, Niles, I've been wondering.
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Would you mind if I ask Dad to join us?
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Remember the last time we
took Dad to a four-star restaurant?
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He had a miserable time.
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Restaurant lost a whole star.
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I'm trying desperately to
get him out of the house.
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He's off on one of his
Weeping Lotus binges again.
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We've tried distracting him before.
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We've taken him everywhere from
the arboretum to the Zen garden.
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Wait a minute, the Zen
garden is at the arboretum.
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Good Lord, is it possible
we've only taken him one place?
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Oh, Niles, Niles, this is it.
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-This is it. The basketball game.
-Basketball?
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Yes, yes, I can get another ticket
from the promotional department.
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Oh, this is perfect!
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Just imagine how excited Dad will
be to go to a game with his two sons.
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My God, it's the archetypal
male bonding ritual.
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Couldn't we just go into the woods,
kill something and have done with it?
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-All right.
-Come on, Niles.
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It'll give you a chance
to see the Tacoma Dome.
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I've already seen it.
They had a Home Show there once.
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You know,
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that's where I got that idea to stencil
a grape arbor on our Welsh dresser.
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FRASIER: I'm a teamster compared to you.
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[BASKETBALL DRIBBLING]
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VENDOR: Peanuts!
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Peanuts here!
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Peanuts!
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-Peanuts!
-Niles, the game's that way.
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I know. I'm just calculating our escape
route in case of fire or urban unrest.
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Maris taught me that.
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Oh, you love her, don't you?
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Yes, I do. Why?
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It just helps to know that.
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Here we are, one beer
and two glasses of wine.
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I'm sure it's good, Niles. They
opened a fresh box when they poured it.
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What are you guys doing
drinking wine at a ball game?
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You ought to be drinking beer.
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Dad, I only drink beer when I eat
German food, which is to say never.
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Did you notice where the
facilities are when you were up?
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Yes, Niles. It's just as you feared:
communal urinals in the men's room.
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Oh, fine. What am I supposed
to do about my shy kidneys?
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-So, Dad, aren't these great seats, huh?
-Yeah.
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What's the matter?
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Nothing.
Let me borrow your pen a minute, will you?
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What for?
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I was thinking about
that ballistics report.
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I wanna make a note so I won't forget it.
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The whole idea of coming here
was to get your mind off of the case.
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Listen, I've done some reading.
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It seems that the key to
the Sonics is to stop Starks
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from penetrating and dumping
the ball off for easy baskets.
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Stop Starks.
That sounds funny. Stop Starks.
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Stop Starks. Stop Starks. Stop Starks.
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Oh, shut up, Niles!
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-It makes no sense.
-Dad, it's not my theory.
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I'm just quoting some sportswriter.
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No, I mean, Helen. She was tall.
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She was 5'7", yet the bullet
entered on a downward trajectory.
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Dad, please, try to participate.
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Oh, look, they're starting the wave!
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Oh, oh, it's coming this way!
It's coming this way!
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That was fun, wasn't it?
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Oh, look, there's a peanut guy. Peanuts!
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-How dare you?
-Niles.
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Stop it!
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That hooligan is pelting me with peanuts.
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From the look of that tray…
Oh, he's over there! Stop!
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Stop it! That is for me!
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I've gotta go make a call.
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-Dad, this isn't about the case, is it?
-Yeah.
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You've been working on it for 20 years.
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How come you're so obsessed now?
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Look, when Helen was murdered,
I made a promise to her mother.
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I said that no matter how
long it took, I'd find the killer.
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Well, I had a call from her last week,
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and she's an old lady now
living in a home somewhere.
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I don't know, she just doesn't
seem to have a lot longer to go.
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And it just kind of lit a fire
under me to get this thing solved.
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So I appreciate you bringing
me, but I gotta make this call.
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-I'll be back in a couple of minutes.
-Okay, Dad.
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I understand.
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Boy, the traffic tonight is murder.
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Hey, pal, what's the score?
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West Side Story.
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[CROWD CHEERING]
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You know what's always bugged me?
This picture of the crime scene.
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The way Helen's written "help."
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Why would she do that?
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Well, I suppose the word "howdy"
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would've been a bit too
cheery under the circumstances.
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But it makes no sense.
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Anybody who could read "help" in
the dirt could also see Helen lying there.
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-Evening, Dad.
-Hey, Dad.
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Thanks again for the ball game.
It was great.
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Oh, God, it was a pleasure, Dad.
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I'm only sorry that you couldn't
join us for dinner afterwards.
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Le Cochon Noir gave us a late
seating for a fabulous dinner.
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It was an exquisite meal, marred only
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by the lack of even one outstanding
cognac on their carte de digestife.
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Yes, but think of it this way, Niles.
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What's the one thing better
than an exquisite meal?
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An exquisite meal with one
tiny flaw we can pick at all night.
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Quite right.
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To impossible standards.
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Ah. So, Dad, any progress on the case?
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00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:35,139
Nah, I'm beat.
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00:09:35,973 --> 00:09:38,308
Sometimes it's better to
just get a good night's sleep
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and start fresh in the morning.
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-Good night, fellas.
-FRASIER: Night, Dad.
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00:09:41,561 --> 00:09:43,812
Don't forget, brush your
teeth and say your prayers.
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[LAUGHS] That's what I used to say to
you guys when you were kids, didn't I?
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No, you didn't.
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00:09:49,359 --> 00:09:50,319
MARTIN: Oh.
198
00:09:52,321 --> 00:09:54,156
-I meant to.
-We knew that.
199
00:09:56,491 --> 00:09:58,575
-Hello.
-Hello, Daphne.
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00:09:58,659 --> 00:09:59,952
How was your dinner?
201
00:10:00,036 --> 00:10:01,995
It was fine except for one small flaw.
202
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,706
Oh, just the way you like it.
203
00:10:07,709 --> 00:10:10,002
I see you're a bit
intrigued by that yourself.
204
00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:12,672
Yes, well, it's been a while
since I've gone over this.
205
00:10:12,756 --> 00:10:13,797
Who are these guys?
206
00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:17,509
Oh, just some of the principal
players in our little drama.
207
00:10:17,593 --> 00:10:21,513
That's Detective Shelby, the
vice cop who found the body.
208
00:10:21,597 --> 00:10:24,014
Who is this menacing little monobrow?
209
00:10:24,098 --> 00:10:26,392
Oh, that's Robitaille, the logger.
210
00:10:26,476 --> 00:10:28,018
An ex-boyfriend of Helen's.
211
00:10:28,102 --> 00:10:30,395
He used to come down from the
mountains every couple of months
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00:10:30,479 --> 00:10:31,479
and disappear with her.
213
00:10:31,563 --> 00:10:33,356
If you ask me, he's the murderer.
214
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,482
Impossible.
215
00:10:34,566 --> 00:10:36,609
-He's got an airtight alibi.
-What is it?
216
00:10:36,693 --> 00:10:38,861
He was killing somebody else at the time.
217
00:10:41,030 --> 00:10:44,741
But you have to admit,
this case has it all:
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00:10:44,825 --> 00:10:49,662
sex, greed, jealousy, revenge,
a monkey, hatred, deception…
219
00:10:49,746 --> 00:10:51,372
-Wait, wait, wait!
-What?
220
00:10:51,456 --> 00:10:52,957
-A monkey?
-Well, yeah.
221
00:10:53,041 --> 00:10:57,377
This is a snapshot of the murder
victim with her pet monkey, Coco.
222
00:10:57,461 --> 00:11:01,215
It was given to her by another
boyfriend, Clive Brisbane.
223
00:11:02,257 --> 00:11:04,216
Well, why wasn't Brisbane a suspect?
224
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:06,427
Yeah, well, he was, but several witnesses
225
00:11:06,511 --> 00:11:08,637
saw him at the racetrack
at the time of the murder.
226
00:11:08,721 --> 00:11:11,015
Excuse me.
Is that Clive Brisbane the animal trainer?
227
00:11:11,099 --> 00:11:13,891
That's right. Brisbane's Amazing Apes.
228
00:11:13,975 --> 00:11:16,853
They opened in Las Vegas
for Englebert Humperdinck.
229
00:11:19,898 --> 00:11:21,732
Yes, it's easy to forget
there was time when
230
00:11:21,816 --> 00:11:24,193
Las Vegas wasn't the
tacky place it is now.
231
00:11:26,278 --> 00:11:30,406
You know, I actually caught Brisbane's
act on a trip to Las Vegas during college.
232
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,658
Those apes were amazing!
233
00:11:32,742 --> 00:11:35,661
One minute they'd be
staging a living tableau
234
00:11:35,745 --> 00:11:37,329
of George Washington
crossing the Delaware,
235
00:11:37,413 --> 00:11:39,831
and the next they'd be
shooting suction-cup arrows
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00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:42,334
at Brisbane's lovely assistant's derriere.
237
00:11:47,171 --> 00:11:48,172
You know…
238
00:11:49,549 --> 00:11:53,218
There is a way that
Brisbane could be the killer
239
00:11:53,302 --> 00:11:55,637
and still have his
horse-track alibi hold up.
240
00:11:56,638 --> 00:11:58,723
Daphne, Niles.
241
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:02,977
I present you with… the killer!
242
00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:10,149
A monkey was the trigger man?
243
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:11,942
Just play along with me here.
244
00:12:12,026 --> 00:12:13,862
They're capable of shooting arrows.
245
00:12:14,487 --> 00:12:15,613
Why not a gun?
246
00:12:15,697 --> 00:12:18,740
But why would Brisbane have her killed?
247
00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:23,203
Because…
because she jilted him for someone else.
248
00:12:23,287 --> 00:12:24,829
Robitaille the logger!
249
00:12:24,913 --> 00:12:28,082
-Exactly! My God, we've done it!
-No, you've done it, Dr. Crane!
250
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:30,543
Well, yes, but you were
standing very close by.
251
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:38,007
Wait a minute, are we saying here that
a murder was committed by a monkey?
252
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,594
It's not so very far-fetched.
253
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,638
It could be Brisbane's diabolical homage
254
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,724
to the Edgar Allen Poe story,
Murders in the Rue Morgue.
255
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:50,977
It's all about an orangutan who goes about
the rooftops of Paris murdering people.
256
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:53,479
Wait till we tell Dad his
case has finally been solved.
257
00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:55,856
-Dad! Dad! Come out!
-No, no, no, Niles, Niles, wait, wait.
258
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,233
It's still just a theory.
259
00:12:58,109 --> 00:13:00,318
Even if we are right, think
how Dad will feel knowing that
260
00:13:00,402 --> 00:13:03,947
we've cracked a case that
he couldn't solve in 20 years.
261
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:06,283
Dear, you're right.
262
00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:10,202
Wait. It's merely serendipity
that I stumbled into this.
263
00:13:10,286 --> 00:13:12,162
Why can't it happen again?
264
00:13:12,246 --> 00:13:16,999
I'll simply rearrange the photos in a
way so that Dad will see the connection.
265
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:22,505
All right, we've got
Coco, the gun, and Helen.
266
00:13:22,589 --> 00:13:23,881
MARTIN: What is it?
267
00:13:23,965 --> 00:13:26,550
Oh, no, hey, Frasier, what
are you doing over there?
268
00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:28,552
-I'm sorry, Dad.
-No, no, no.
269
00:13:28,636 --> 00:13:31,179
I got these all set out
the way I wanted 'em.
270
00:13:31,263 --> 00:13:32,348
This one goes up…
271
00:13:35,808 --> 00:13:37,018
MARTIN: I'll be damned.
272
00:13:39,229 --> 00:13:40,438
Something wrong?
273
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:43,857
Look at that.
274
00:13:44,983 --> 00:13:45,817
What?
275
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:50,737
I never thought it would just
leap out and bite me like this.
276
00:13:50,821 --> 00:13:53,073
I think I may have solved
this pain-in-the-ass case.
277
00:13:53,157 --> 00:13:55,200
-You have?
-FRASIER: That's wonderful news!
278
00:13:55,284 --> 00:13:56,785
No, no, don't get too excited.
279
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:59,036
I mean, this is, uh, kind of far-fetched.
280
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,748
I mean, it's a long shot, but it's
beginning to make sense to me.
281
00:14:02,832 --> 00:14:04,125
Lay it out for us. Let's see it.
282
00:14:04,209 --> 00:14:06,918
No, please, just give me
a little privacy, will you?
283
00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:09,629
-I've gotta do some thinking.
-No problem.
284
00:14:09,713 --> 00:14:11,506
Yeah, I was just going to bed meself.
285
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:13,884
-Night, all.
-Good night, Daphne.
286
00:14:15,510 --> 00:14:18,304
Look at him.
Did you see the sparkle in his eye?
287
00:14:18,388 --> 00:14:20,556
Oh, Frasier, he's like
a little kid at Christmas.
288
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,226
Oh, jeez, what happened to
my entry wound close-ups?
289
00:14:24,893 --> 00:14:26,979
♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
290
00:14:35,111 --> 00:14:36,278
-Hello, Daphne.
-Hello.
291
00:14:36,362 --> 00:14:37,696
-Is Dad home?
-Nope.
292
00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:40,780
I haven't seen him since he
knocked me up early this morning.
293
00:14:52,376 --> 00:14:53,294
What?
294
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,129
Knocked me up.
295
00:14:56,213 --> 00:14:58,214
Woke me up. It's an English expression.
296
00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,632
What does it mean here?
297
00:15:02,427 --> 00:15:03,595
Oh, something else.
298
00:15:04,596 --> 00:15:06,763
You'd definitely be awake for it, though.
299
00:15:10,851 --> 00:15:13,810
He was headed down to the
station house to present his theory.
300
00:15:13,894 --> 00:15:16,355
Oh, dear God, I wish he hadn't done that.
301
00:15:16,439 --> 00:15:18,774
I've been turning it
over in my mind all day.
302
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:22,193
The more I think about
it, the goofier it sounds.
303
00:15:23,194 --> 00:15:24,738
I mean, a monkey?
304
00:15:25,989 --> 00:15:27,990
I just hope they didn't
laugh him out of the station.
305
00:15:28,074 --> 00:15:30,534
It'd be one hell of a way to
end a 30-year police career.
306
00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:32,619
Oh, now, now, Dr. Crane.
307
00:15:32,703 --> 00:15:35,205
It's not the most outlandish
theory in the world.
308
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:37,625
You're right.
309
00:15:38,709 --> 00:15:40,793
I could've said it was a trained giraffe.
310
00:15:41,919 --> 00:15:44,713
I suppose he killed her
by spitting a bullet at her,
311
00:15:44,797 --> 00:15:48,091
thus explaining the downward trajectory.
312
00:15:50,636 --> 00:15:51,469
Hey, guys.
313
00:15:51,553 --> 00:15:52,720
-DAPHNE: Hello.
-Oh, hi, Dad.
314
00:15:52,804 --> 00:15:55,098
Heard anything from the station house yet?
315
00:15:55,182 --> 00:15:56,431
Not yet.
316
00:15:56,515 --> 00:15:58,433
I was afraid of that.
317
00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:00,561
I mean, I knew my theory was a bit iffy,
318
00:16:00,645 --> 00:16:04,564
but when I told the guys, they
looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
319
00:16:04,648 --> 00:16:07,358
-They didn't ridicule you, did they, Dad?
-Oh, no.
320
00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:10,570
They always treat old-timers with respect.
321
00:16:10,654 --> 00:16:12,571
They said, "I'll check it out"
322
00:16:12,655 --> 00:16:15,490
just like I used to when some
nutbag would come in there
323
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:17,158
with aluminum foil in his hat
324
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:20,371
claiming the Martians were
trying to steal his brainwaves.
325
00:16:23,331 --> 00:16:26,625
-I'm sorry, Mr. Crane.
-Oh, I don't know what I was thinking of.
326
00:16:26,709 --> 00:16:29,335
I've been walking around all afternoon
327
00:16:29,419 --> 00:16:32,380
just tryin' to figure out how I came
up with such a half-assed theory.
328
00:16:32,464 --> 00:16:37,010
Dad, it wasn't your fault. I did it.
329
00:16:39,845 --> 00:16:40,846
You killed her?
330
00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:45,309
No.
331
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:48,436
But I did plant that
ridiculous idea in your head.
332
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,104
Remember last night when you came in
333
00:16:50,188 --> 00:16:52,438
so upset that I was
rearranging your pictures?
334
00:16:52,732 --> 00:16:55,782
Well, I rearranged them in a
specific way so that you would…
335
00:16:56,777 --> 00:16:58,696
Come to the same conclusion I did.
336
00:16:59,863 --> 00:17:01,448
So you had the idea first?
337
00:17:02,407 --> 00:17:05,826
-I can't tell you how terrible I feel.
-Don't blame yourself.
338
00:17:05,910 --> 00:17:07,620
You might have put the
aluminum foil in my hat,
339
00:17:07,704 --> 00:17:10,081
but I walked right into
the station wearing it.
340
00:17:10,914 --> 00:17:11,915
[DOORBELL RINGS]
341
00:17:12,541 --> 00:17:13,709
I'll get it.
342
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,589
-Hi, Marty.
-Hey, Frank!
343
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:24,009
Frasier, Daphne, you remember
Frank Hollings from the precinct.
344
00:17:24,093 --> 00:17:25,177
Marty, we gotta talk.
345
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,720
Oh, Frank, about that theory of mine.
346
00:17:27,804 --> 00:17:30,598
I can't for the life of me
figure what you were thinking.
347
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:34,810
I know, I know. I just feel so
stupid wasting your time like that.
348
00:17:34,894 --> 00:17:39,064
It cost us a whole afternoon
and five detectives' time.
349
00:17:39,148 --> 00:17:41,150
And all we got to show for it is…
350
00:17:43,402 --> 00:17:45,569
-We got the bastard!
-I was right?
351
00:17:45,653 --> 00:17:48,280
Hey, you don't believe
me, ask these derelicts.
352
00:17:48,364 --> 00:17:49,615
[ALL CHEERING]
353
00:17:52,743 --> 00:17:55,828
-Good to see you. Come on in!
-Marty, you still got it.
354
00:17:55,912 --> 00:17:58,498
-Way to go, Marty!
-And it only took you 20 years.
355
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:01,792
Oh, Mr. Crane, I'm so proud of you.
356
00:18:01,876 --> 00:18:05,004
Oh, that's amazing!
That's wonderful. Oh, that's suede!
357
00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:09,382
FRANK: So, Marty, how did you do it?
358
00:18:09,466 --> 00:18:12,885
Well, you know, for years I
thought it was Robitaille the logger.
359
00:18:12,969 --> 00:18:16,472
And then I thought, well, maybe
it Brisbane, the animal trainer.
360
00:18:16,556 --> 00:18:17,597
But I was wrong.
361
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:21,559
How did you finally decide
that it was, uh, Detective Shelby?
362
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,437
Well, you know, I kept looking at
that picture, and it kept bugging me.
363
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,356
You know, why was she
trying to write "help" in the dirt?
364
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,191
And then it came to me.
365
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:32,069
She was trying to write
the killer's name: Shelby.
366
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,654
Only she must have died
before she finished the B
367
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,989
and somebody must
have kicked dirt over the S.
368
00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:38,366
You nailed him all right.
369
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,300
We pulled him in for
interrogation, he cracked like a nut.
370
00:18:43,704 --> 00:18:45,706
You know, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
371
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,541
But then you yourself
were beginning to wonder
372
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:49,459
if a monkey could really commit a murder.
373
00:18:49,543 --> 00:18:51,043
Well, I may have momentarily doubted it,
374
00:18:51,127 --> 00:18:54,172
but from time to time I have
to be reminded to trust my gift.
375
00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:58,426
So did you call the girl's mother yet?
376
00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:02,262
No, we left that for you.
You were the guy that solved this thing.
377
00:19:02,346 --> 00:19:04,681
Oh, well, you know, actually,
378
00:19:04,765 --> 00:19:07,142
I can't take all the
credit for it, right, Frasier?
379
00:19:07,226 --> 00:19:09,017
-Come on, get over here.
-Oh, now, Dad.
380
00:19:09,101 --> 00:19:12,646
No, no, come on.
Don't be shy. I'm proud of you.
381
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:16,441
Yeah, I was a cop for 30 years,
and it took my son with his Ph.D. mind
382
00:19:16,525 --> 00:19:18,276
to crack this baby.
383
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,029
Of course I was standing
next to him at the time.
384
00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:24,740
So, uh, tell us about it, Frasier.
385
00:19:24,824 --> 00:19:26,074
-Oh, no, no, no.
-Yeah, go ahead.
386
00:19:26,158 --> 00:19:27,534
Yeah. Come on.
387
00:19:27,618 --> 00:19:33,956
Well, I hate to toot my own horn,
but, well, if it'll make Dad happy.
388
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,668
I suppose it was my expertise in
human behavior, combined with
389
00:19:37,752 --> 00:19:40,004
a lifelong enthusiasm for
the Rwandan lowland gorilla
390
00:19:40,088 --> 00:19:42,238
that first set me thinking
about the monkey.
391
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,886
I'm not sure I'm following you.
392
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:50,554
Perhaps I'm going too fast.
I'll go slower.
393
00:19:50,638 --> 00:19:55,142
The key was when I figured out
that if Brisbane could teach a monkey
394
00:19:55,226 --> 00:19:57,268
to impersonate George Washington,
395
00:19:57,352 --> 00:20:00,855
then surely he could teach
a monkey to cock a revolver,
396
00:20:00,939 --> 00:20:04,066
sneak up a fire escape, lie in
wait for Helen, pump her full of lead,
397
00:20:04,150 --> 00:20:06,860
and then make his getaway,
perhaps even still wearing
398
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:10,444
the Revolutionary War regalia in
order to confuse any chance witnesses.
399
00:20:12,116 --> 00:20:16,660
In fact, oh, and this is
way out there, but, jeez,
400
00:20:16,744 --> 00:20:20,456
maybe you should check to see if there
were any local bank robberies at the time
401
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,750
that were committed by a short
hairy man wearing a powdered wig.
402
00:20:27,129 --> 00:20:29,006
You think the monkey was the killer?
403
00:20:30,882 --> 00:20:32,841
When I said I was standing next to him,
404
00:20:32,925 --> 00:20:35,720
I was really most of
the way across the room.
405
00:20:38,973 --> 00:20:39,848
Well, wasn't he?
406
00:20:41,099 --> 00:20:42,225
No, it was Shelby.
407
00:20:43,602 --> 00:20:44,435
Who's Shelby?
408
00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:47,147
He was a vice cop.
He was in love with Helen.
409
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:49,565
Oh.
410
00:20:51,525 --> 00:20:53,152
Well, that was my second choice.
411
00:20:57,780 --> 00:20:59,699
Can I freshen anyone's drink?
412
00:21:00,909 --> 00:21:01,909
FRANK: Help me out here.
413
00:21:01,993 --> 00:21:04,661
What did you think the
monkey's motive was?
414
00:21:06,204 --> 00:21:07,080
Jealousy?
415
00:21:07,164 --> 00:21:09,457
Or maybe he just did it
for the insurance money?
416
00:21:09,541 --> 00:21:10,542
[ALL LAUGHING]
417
00:21:11,126 --> 00:21:14,795
Hey, do you think we should
put a tail on that monkey?
418
00:21:15,755 --> 00:21:19,091
If that monkey did it, he'll swing for it.
419
00:21:21,259 --> 00:21:22,260
Yes, that's all very funny.
420
00:21:22,344 --> 00:21:25,221
Oh, come on, Frasier, you
can take a joke, can't you?
421
00:21:25,305 --> 00:21:27,890
Well, I suppose I can. Yes.
422
00:21:27,974 --> 00:21:29,808
Oh, wait, I've got one!
423
00:21:29,892 --> 00:21:32,227
Who do you suppose the
monkey will get to defend him?
424
00:21:32,311 --> 00:21:33,562
Clarence Darrow?
425
00:21:36,857 --> 00:21:40,610
You know, the Scopes Monkey Trial.
426
00:21:43,237 --> 00:21:45,489
You know, Darwin's Theory of Evolution.
427
00:21:45,573 --> 00:21:49,201
It was turned into a, a Pulitzer
Prize-winning novel, Inherit The Wind.
428
00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:55,790
Is that gun loaded?
429
00:22:03,421 --> 00:22:04,923
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
430
00:22:06,257 --> 00:22:08,911
♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪
431
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,303
♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪
432
00:22:11,387 --> 00:22:12,471
Oh, my.
433
00:22:13,138 --> 00:22:15,765
♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪
434
00:22:15,849 --> 00:22:18,143
♪ Yeah, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪
435
00:22:18,227 --> 00:22:20,352
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
436
00:22:20,436 --> 00:22:21,812
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
437
00:22:21,896 --> 00:22:25,274
♪ With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
438
00:22:27,402 --> 00:22:28,819
♪ They're callin' again ♪
439
00:22:30,070 --> 00:22:32,406
Scrambled eggs all over my face.
440
00:22:32,823 --> 00:22:34,366
What is a boy to do?
441
00:22:36,784 --> 00:22:38,244
Good night, everybody!