1
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:10,076
So, on behalf of myself,

2
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:11,444
the many volunteers

3
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,713
and especially the team
from KACL...

4
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:14,614
Whoo!

5
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:15,949
I'd like to welcome you,

6
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:17,283
the Grant Family,

7
00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:20,286
to your new Habitat
for Humanity house.

8
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:21,721
Ronnie, if I may?

9
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,057
When my coworkers

10
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,925
first signed me up
for this project

11
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:31,865
without my knowledge, I was--
well, I'll say it-- irked.

12
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,933
But I'm glad they did,

13
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,936
because I've had
a chance to learn

14
00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:38,872
the pride that comes
when you build something

15
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,708
with your own two hands.

16
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,476
As carpenter's helper,

17
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:46,312
I sanded that newel post
out there.

18
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,648
As painter's helper's
assistant,

19
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,984
I stirred the paint for the trim

20
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,620
in the kitchen.

21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,955
I was also surprised
to learn that

22
00:00:55,955 --> 00:01:00,960
electricians don't have helpers.

23
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,462
It's getting dark.

24
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,830
(chuckling):
Oh, right, of course.

25
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,331
Enjoy your new home.

26
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:06,332
I know I did.

27
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,768
And if ever these walls
should tumble,

28
00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:11,704
keep an eye out for
my Harvard class ring.

29
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:12,705
Thank you.

30
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:14,841
MAN:
It's hard to believe

31
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,409
the house is finally ours.

32
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,411
We cannot thank everyone enough.

33
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:19,512
Thank you.

34
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:20,580
Well...
Yay!

35
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,018
Well, are you sure

36
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,087
you took enough credit
for the house?

37
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:27,854
I took just enough, Roz.

38
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,189
It's not my fault

39
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:32,058
I'm not licensed
to use a plug-in tool.

40
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:33,927
Frasier, those guys...

41
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,428
You don't need a...

42
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,930
Never mind.

43
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:43,803
No problem. Everything okay?

44
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:48,942
My mom is a me
an, spiteful woman

45
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,946
Maybe we should talk this out
before you put your hands on me.

46
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,481
Daphne and her mom
had a big fight this morning.

47
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:56,483
Gertrude's been especially
difficult to live with lately.

48
00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,017
Yeah, last night

49
00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:01,554
she got the neighbor's cat drunk again.

50
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:04,057
One of them threw up
in the hot tub.

51
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,492
Well, I told her

52
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:08,561
we will not tolerate
this inconsiderate
behavior anymore.

53
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,997
If she wants to be part of this household,

54
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,500
she has to get off her lazy bum
and help out around the house.

55
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,501
How did I put it, Niles?

56
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:18,505
I couldn't hear you--
I was in the panic room.

57
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,840
But you looked very forceful
on the monitor.

58
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,709
Anyhow, she
pinched me keys

59
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,210
and drove
off in a snit.

60
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,146
Niles had to drive me over here.

61
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,648
Why, I'm so mad,
I could break something.

62
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,650
Are you ready, Martin?

63
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,653
Uh, let's give it
a few more minutes.

64
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,090
What is this?

65
00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:40,527
Has Frasier been attempting
the laundry again?

66
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:41,528
ie's.
No, it's Edd

67
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:42,996
It's for a safety talk

68
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,430
Eddie and I are giving
at Glenbrook Elementary.

69
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,232
Oh, yeah.
Sounds like fun.

70
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:49,702
We're replacing
a talking parrot act--

71
00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:52,305
Officer Chirpy and Sergeant Bob.

72
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,874
Dick Chirpy was one
of the finest officers

73
00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:56,142
I ever served with.

74
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,011
It's funny, you know?

75
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,580
With a name like Chirpy,
you'd think he'd be the parrot,

76
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,082
but as I said before,
he wasn't. He was the guy.

77
00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:05,718
The parrot being Bob.

78
00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:07,787
That's fascinating.

79
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:11,658
Dad, are you sure
you want to do this?

80
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,960
I spoke
at a career day once.

81
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,396
It was a disaster--
all the taunting and yelling.

82
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:18,398
I haven't been so...

83
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:22,268
I haven't been so afraid o
third graders since ninth grade.

84
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,103
Well, thanks
for the warning, son,

85
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,105
but Eddie and I will be fine.

86
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:28,474
Hey, would you like to see
part of the act?

87
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:29,876
We'd love to.

88
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,843
Oh, great. Take a seat.

89
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,246
Come on, Eddie. Show time!

90
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,284
Okay, Eddie,

91
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:41,421
what should you do
before you cross a street?

92
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,090
That's right.

93
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:46,326
Look both ways

94
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:49,095
How about if a stranger
approaches you?

95
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:51,931
(barks)

96
00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:54,867
Right again.

97
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:57,503
Yell and run to someone
you trust.

98
00:03:57,503 --> 00:03:59,172
Ok

99
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,608
What about if you catch on fire?

100
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,347
That's right.
101
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,115
Stop, drop and roll.

101
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,950
What do you think?

102
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,052
I think the kids
are going to love it.

103
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:16,122
I see Dad's been showing you the act.

104
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:22,829
Ah. Here we are.

105
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,832
Hmm, darn.

106
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:28,835
This drawer isn't closing properly.

107
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,970
I think I'd be
tter go get my tools

108
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,939
and have a look at it.

109
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,644
You sure you know
what you're doing?

110
00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:41,547
Niles, please.
I built a house.

111
00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:43,516
I think I can handle
a simple drawer.

112
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,551
You know it's probably the slidey thing.

113
00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:49,055
Or the drawer may
have become warped

114
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,556
If that's the case, then she's going

115
00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:53,559
to need to be plan
ed, sanded and refitted.

116
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:58,364
Or you could turn
the stapler on its side.

117
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,205
I paid good money...

118
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:09,242
for an upright
stapler, Niles

119
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,682
(door opens)

120
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,750
MR. GRANT:
Dr. Crane, it's great
to see you.

121
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,218
What are you doing here?

122
00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:20,720
Well, I was in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd stop by

123
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,655
to see how you two
were coming along.

124
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,558
I also wanted to drop
off this little gift for you.

125
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,826
I thought it would be perfect
for the house.

126
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,995
Thank you very much.
Very generous.

127
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,697
MRS. GRANT: How lovely
Thank you.

128
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,498
Come in.
Make yourself at home.

129
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,000
Sorry for all the boxes.

130
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,501
Oh, no, please,
don't apologize.

131
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,003
You know,
this is a beautiful print.

132
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,438
Oh, thank you.

133
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:41,374
Actually, we've been debating about where to hang this.

134
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:42,875
I was thinking
up on the wall

135
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:45,211
Uh-huh. Well, that's
an excellent place,

136
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:46,546
but, however, it comes
to my mind

137
00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:49,048
that actually if you hung it
opposite the front door,

138
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,050
it would be the first thing
your guests see

139
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:52,352
when they arrive.

140
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,087
What a wonderful idea.

141
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,555
Oh, thank you.

142
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:57,223
Actually, if you don't mind a little suggestion:

143
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:01,594
If you put the couch,
say...

144
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:07,066
like this, you see,
you've got a lovely
conversation area

145
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,601
as well as a clear view

146
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,069
of the television.

147
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,572
You really have a gift
for this.

148
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:15,041
Oh, gosh, it's hardly a gift

149
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,476
It's a knack, perhaps.

150
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:19,846
A flair at best.
Wow.

151
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,280
Wait until
we tell people

152
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,782
that our living room
was decorated

153
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:23,716
by Dr. Frasier Crane.

154
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,152
Oh, please. Hardly decorated.

155
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,087
But you know,
if you'd like to sit down

156
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:31,124
and sketch out a few ideas
together, I'd be delighted

157
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,625
Seriously?
Sure.

158
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,128
Well, then I insist
that you stay for dinner.

159
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,630
Well, how can I refuse?

160
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,132
Here, let me
take that for you.

161
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,601
You know, I had a lot of time
to think about this space

162
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,102
when I was watching the plaster dry.

163
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,605
I was plaster watcher.

164
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,645
MRS. MOON:
Can I help you?

165
00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:54,647
Mom, what are you
doing here?

166
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,048
Just following orders.

167
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:58,951
Working myself ill
so I can contribute

168
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,354
to Her Highness's
household coffers.

169
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,790
I'm sure Daphne only meant to suggest

170
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:07,293
that perhaps you might help out
a little bit more at home.

171
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:08,861
"Contribute" is the word

172
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,863
she shouted down
from her high horse.

173
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:14,367
But I'll be glad to "help
out" with the wages I earn

174
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,837
serving strangers
with my arthritic hands.

175
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:22,175
Now, how may I provide you with excellent service?

176
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,342
Well, what would you recommend?

177
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,711
Not having children.

178
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,082
What does she think
she's doing?

179
00:07:30,082 --> 00:07:32,952
I guess this is just
her childish attempt

180
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,454
to embarrass us.

181
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,657
Working here, she's hoping we'll retreat in humiliation

182
00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:39,492
I stopped being humiliated

183
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,295
after she showed up
in that spring break video.

184
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,630
Hello.

185
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,631
Hey, Dad.

186
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,633
Well, it's been 60 years,

187
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,634
but once again

188
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,138
I am the toast
of the second grade.

189
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,439
Congratulations.

190
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:54,173
So it went well, then?

191
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:55,641
Oh, the kids loved it.

192
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:56,976
When it was over,
they all ran up

193
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,445
and gave me
and Eddie big hugs.

194
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:02,348
Well, Dad, then you might
just want to consider

195
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,883
having that uniform cleaned.

196
00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:05,885
Kids that age are
always carrying germs.

197
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,354
God knows wh
at you picked up.

198
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:10,857
Oh, I'm sure any germs
on their hands were jarred loose

199
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,859
by their wild applause.

200
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,694
The principal aske
d us to come back

201
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,296
and have an assembly
for all the fourth graders.

202
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:18,564
Dad, good luck

203
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,566
It's well known that
of the cruelest grades

204
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,069
ninth is third, seventh is second

205
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,537
and fourth is first.

206
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,707
If you're not going to order

207
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:30,510
I'll have to ask you
to leave this establishment.

208
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,677
Gert, you working here?

209
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,079
At Daphne's insistence.

210
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:35,581
The blood is pooling
in my feet,

211
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:39,418
but at least I'm contributing to the palace's upkeep.

212
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,721
Say, maybe I could sell
some of that blood

213
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,222
and give my daughter
her cut.

214
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,724
Is that a good idea, Daphne?

215
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,526
Should I sell my blood for you?

216
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:47,293
No, Mom.

217
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,061
You can keep your blood.

218
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:50,863
Did you hear that, everyone?

219
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,865
My daughter's letting me
keep my blood.

220
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,369
Okay, let's just...

221
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,372
That's nice. Maybe we'll go
have coffee at home.

222
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,374
No tips.

223
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,376
Nice.

224
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,750
(flatly):
Frasier, hi.

225
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,251
What a surprise.

226
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:15,755
Honey, guess who's here again.

227
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:19,258
Whoa, four times
in one week.

228
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,760
Hi, Chet.

229
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,262
How do you like
the sconces, huh?

230
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:24,664
Uh, good, good

231
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:26,065
I thought
you had plans tonight.

232
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:27,433
Well, I was just
driving by

233
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,535
and I noticed something
rather alarming.

234
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:30,336
What is it?

235
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,204
It seems
somebody has put

236
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:35,074
a cow mailbox at the end
of your driveway.

237
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,611
That's ours. Chet put it
up this morning

238
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:39,946
If you want,
we'd be happy

239
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,447
to give you back
the one you gave us.

240
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,783
No, no, no, that's not
necessary. It was a gift.

241
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:45,618
And it was custom-painted
to match the shutters,

242
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,619
exactly the way I pictured it

243
00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:49,121
when this house was no more
than a foundation.

244
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,123
Now, the cow is beautiful,

245
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:54,627
but is it really the first
impression you want to make?

246
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:57,630
Remember, a mailbox
is a house's handshake.

247
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,632
We like the cow.

248
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,133
It's cute.

249
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,636
Besides, we're thinking
about replacing the shutters.

250
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,137
Maybe put up some awnings.

251
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,138
And a screen door.

252
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,106
Wouldn't that be cozy?

253
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,108
Gosh, I'm sorry.

254
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,110
Everything's going so fast

255
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,112
I, uh, last night
when I drove away from here,

256
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,114
it seemed like we were all
on the same page.

257
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,550
Now it feels like
we're working at cross-purposes.

258
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,985
How do we feel
about the accessories?

259
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:20,820
They're okay.

260
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,089
Okay? Last night
they were to die for.

261
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,858
That doesn't sound
like something I'd say.

262
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,593
Well, I remember
somebody saying it.

263
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:31,330
Look, all right, let's
just try to calm down.

264
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:32,665
Marge, why don't you go serve up

265
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,667
some of that world-famous
apple pie of yours?

266
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,102
We can all sit down
and work this out.

267
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,004
Thanks, Dr. Crane,
you've been a big help,

268
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,505
but I think we can
take it from here.

269
00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:41,007
Well, but surely...

270
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,508
Good night, Dr. Crane.

271
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,451
If you're too sick
to drive yourself here,

272
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:54,453
you're too sick to give
a safety talk.

273
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:55,955
I'll be fine.

274
00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,457
I just have to get
over this dizziness.

275
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:00,459
There are you, Mr. Crane.

276
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:01,761
I was getting nervous.

277
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,029
Listen, I'm afraid
my dad's not feeling well.

278
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,530
I think it would be best
if we canceled the assembly.

279
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:06,032
Are you kidding?

280
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:08,601
If I cancel this thing,
we'll have riot on our hands

281
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,536
The teachers are expecting
a free period.

282
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:12,938
The kids are
looking forward

283
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,407
to seeing the safety show.

284
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,176
Eddie and I aren't
going to let them down.

285
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,244
Okay, if you really think
you can do this.

286
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,746
I can.

287
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:26,752


And by the way,
you're just as beautiful today

288
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:30,022
as you were
the day I married you.

289
00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,558
Okay, I let that go
the first time. Sit down.

290
00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,126
We're going to get
him some ice water.

291
00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:36,128
We're going to keep him
off his feet.

292
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:37,930
e.
Okay, but you'll have to go on in his plac

293
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,632
No, I can't do that.
Yes, you can.

294
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,101
Safety is everyone's concern.

295
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:45,037
And I can't
guarantee yours if you don't

296
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:49,075
(overlapping chatter)

297
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:52,078
Quiet. Quiet, people.

298
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,079
Settle down.

299
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,580
GameBoys off.

300
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,583
Let's give a warm
fourth grade welcome

301
00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:01,087
to Officer Eddie
and... friend.

302
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,089
(scattered applause)

303
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,532
Hello, safety fans.

304
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,168
I'm Citizen-Officer Niles

305
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,004
and this is my partner,
Officer Eddie.

306
00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:24,143
Okay...

307
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:27,146
Officer Eddie will now show us
how to act

308
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:29,148
in various dangerous situations.

309
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,651
Say, Officer Eddie, can you show
the kids what to do

310
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,121
before they cross the street?

311
00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:42,361
That's right.
We wait for the signal.

312
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,499
Okay, uh...

313
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:49,935
Eddie, show the boys and girls
what to do if they're lost

314
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:51,971
Eddie?

315
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:53,305
Come here, boy. Hey.

316
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:57,176
Children, I have
a confession to make.

317
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:59,178
I'm not a Citizen-Officer.

318
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:02,181
I, uh, I'm a psychiatric doctor

319
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,683
specializing in marriage
and family counseling.

320
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:06,118
(children booing)

321
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,520
I know, I know.

322
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,121
The point is...

323
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,191
the point is that my father
is an actual officer

324
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:15,694
and he'd be here today,
except he got a nasty cold--

325
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:19,765
probably from some careless
youngsters at his last assembly.

326
00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:22,001
Which brings up
a different

327
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,503
yet no less important
kind of safety--

328
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:26,539
hygiene.

329
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,874
Oh, geez.

330
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,177
I would like to introduce you
to the first defense

331
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,179
in the war against germs--

332
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:36,482
Officer Pocket Square.

333
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:38,284
Okay, okay.

334
00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:41,654
Maybe it's not cool to carey
a handkerchief around anymore...

335
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,823
It's not!

336
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,591
Is influenza cool?

337
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,093
Is scarlet fever cool?

338
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:50,095
Do you have any idea
how many germs

339
00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:52,097
there are on just one finger?

340
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:55,401
Yes, that finger, for example.

341
00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:00,072
It's millions!

342
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,408
Or take simple dust.

343
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:04,910
You know what dust is?

344
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,412
s.
It's the excretion of mite

345
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:10,916
Little bugs that are eating
your skin right now.

346
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:14,220
What the hell
is he doing?

347
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,723
He's freaking me out, that's what he's doing.

348
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,728
Oh, Roz, hey,
come and join me.

349
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,730
I'm in a bit of a pickle.

350
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,732
I'm not sure the Grants

351
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:29,568
are the right family
for our house.

352
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:31,270
Who?

353
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:34,039
The Grants-- the people who
moved into the house we built.

354
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,841
You went back there?

355
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:36,909
Just a few times, to try
to share with them

356
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:41,780
the principles of decor,
room flow, general livability.

357
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,116
Then they literally showed me the door

358
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,953
Yes, Roz, the very door I hung for them in
the first place.

359
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:53,125
Take a moment
to digest the irony.

360
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,693
Frasier, what do you expect?

361
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:55,694
It's their house.

362
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:56,795
Yes, but I helped

363
00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:58,664
to build it.

364
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:01,967
Okay, untangling extension cords
and stirring paint

365
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,370
isn't exactly building a house

366
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,772
Oh, I know I didn't do much.

367
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:09,775
The truth is, I've never really been very handy.

368
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,279
In elementary school,
I made an ashtray for my dad.

369
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:16,782
It caught fire.

370
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:20,619
Frasier, you did your part,
but now you have to let go.

371
00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:23,789
That poor family
probably thinks you're

372
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:26,625
some rich, arrogant guy
who's bossing everyone around.

373
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,027
Oh, Lord.

374
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:29,962
Maybe I owe them
an apology, Roz.

375
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,965
I mean, the last thing I want Marge and Chet to think of me

376
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:35,234
is that I'm so
me sort of a snob.

377
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:37,036
Did I tell you they have
a cow mailbox

378
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,371
at the end of their driveway?

379
00:15:39,638 --> 00:15:41,206
My mom has a cow mailbox.

380
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:42,474
Well, sure

381
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,243
that's Wisconsin.

382
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:47,246
The buckle on the bumpkin belt.

383
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:49,715
Hey, you two.

384
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:51,684
FRASIER:
Oh, hi, Daphe.

385
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,185
A latte, please.

386
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:56,188
Daphne, here it is.

387
00:15:56,188 --> 00:16:00,592
My first paycheck,
$74.12, post tax.

388
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,428
See, everybody,
I'm helping out

389
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,429
my well-to-do daughter

390
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:05,431
with my pittance
of a paycheck.

391
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,899
Thanks

392
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:10,369
I suppose you're going
to ask me to stop working here.

393
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,871
Well, I don't care
if you are embarrassed.

394
00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:16,375
I will contribute to
the household like you told me

395
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,710
even if it kills me.

396
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,545
Sign here.

397
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,714
Right, then...

398
00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,750
I'll just work here
till I keel over dead.

399
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,519
Kindly set aside a few pennies
from my pay

400
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:29,388
for a nice casket.

401
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,223
Already taken care of.

402
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,530
Four rodent hairs

403
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,533
and the head capsule
of an adult grain beetle.

404
00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:42,534
CHILDREN:
Ew!

405
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:43,736
Chocolate.
Milk.

406
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,105
Meat.
Cookies.

407
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:47,940
Oh, okay, I heard chocolate.
I'll take chocolate.

408
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,842
Per 100 grams,

409
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:54,246
the government allows an average
of approximately

410
00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:58,250
60 insect fragments
and the odd rodent hair.

411
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,652
(kids groaning)

412
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:02,454
But let's say you want
to play it safe.

413
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,890
Maybe drink
a can of fruit juice.

414
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:08,894
That's healthy... or is it?

415
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,829
Well, sure,

416
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:12,264
if your idea of healthy

417
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,601
is approximately five fly eggs
and a maggot.

418
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,337
This is your government, people!

419
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,739
PRINCIPAL:
All right...

420
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,809
let's thank Dr.
Crane for coming by today.

421
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:26,311
But I'm afraid
we're out of time.

422
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:27,379
CHILDREN:
No!

423
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,447
Stay.
Stay.

424
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,448
Stay.

425
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:30,949
PRINCIPAL:
Okay, okay, one more

426
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,751
and then we have
to say good-bye.

427
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:36,088
Well, I can't leave
without mentioning

428
00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,090
our friend the hot dog.

429
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:45,464
Or perhaps it should be called
"hot parasitic cysts,

430
00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:48,467
"insect fragments, general grit

431
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:49,968
and rodent droppings."

432
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:51,737
Thank you.

433
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:55,974
(cheering and applause)

434
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:57,309
PRINCIPAL:
Thank you,

435
00:17:57,309 --> 00:18:01,280
Dr. Crane, for that
most enlightening talk

436
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,781
And right before lunch

437
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:07,186
Everyone exit in a single line to the cafeteria, please.

438
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:11,323
Good job, Niles.

439
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:12,825
Thanks.

440
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,827
It was touch-and-go there for a while,

441
00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:17,329
but you came through
with flying colors.

442
00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:20,265
Quick thinking making up
that stuff about the hot dogs.

443
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,167
Thanks, Dad, but you know
I didn't make anything up.

444
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:24,670
I said it was okay
to make up that stuff about hot dogs,

445
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:27,739
which I love and had
for breakfast.

446
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:32,111
Yes, well, I guess
I was faster on my
feet than I knew.

447
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,846
Excuse me, sir.

448
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:37,049
I just wanted to say
you were great up there.

449
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:39,284
Thank you.

450
00:18:41,186 --> 00:18:42,988
Hey, kid...

451
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:47,059
Here.

452
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:50,863
Wow!

453
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,297
Thanks, Citizen-Officer Niles!

454
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,706
Thanks for coming
along with me, Roz.

455
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:01,707
I'm not sure
they'd open the door

456
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,709
if it was just me.

457
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,947
It's him again.

458
00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:11,950
I-I'm sorry
to disturb you.

459
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,952
You remember Roz?

460
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,420
Hi.

461
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,955
Hello.

462
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:18,423
Yes, I just
wanted to say

463
00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:22,394
how sorry I am
for my behavior this last week.

464
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:25,898
I've been intrusive
and controlling.

465
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:28,901
I lost sight of the fact
that this is your home...

466
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,170
to do with as you will.

467
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:36,441
And I sincerely wish you all
many years of happiness in it.

468
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:38,443
Thank you.

469
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:40,412
You care to come in?

470
00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:43,348
Oh, we'd be honored
to be guests in your home.

471
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:49,821
Oh, look what you've
done with the place.

472
00:19:50,322 --> 00:19:51,190
MRS. GRANT:
Do you like it?

473
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,091
I think it's great.

474
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,027
What do you think,
Frasier?

475
00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:56,428
Would you like
to take a tour?

476
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:57,963
Mm-hmm.

477
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:03,435
MR. GRANT:
We just finished repainting
the den yesterday.

478
00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:05,938
Oh, Frasier,
you've got
to see this.

479
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,439
Oh?

480
00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:08,473
(chuckling):
Oh...

481
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,977
Wow, that's purple!

482
00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,479
Thank you again
for the tour.

483
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:15,981
Your home
is lovely.

484
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:16,982
We like it.

485
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,951
It's the kind of home
we've always dreamed of.
487
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:20,919
Yes.

486
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:22,254
Good night.

487
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,122
Good night.

488
00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,193
Frasier, I am
very proud of you.

489
00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:29,595
I did it.

490
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,530
I didn't criticize.

491
00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:33,031
I said nothing judgmental.

492
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:34,533
I didn't say a single word

493
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,335
about their horrible,
horrible taste.

494
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:38,637
You were great

495
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:42,007
I finally did it. I...

496
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:45,377
This was the ultimate test,
and I passed.

497
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,879
I can finally let go.

498
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,748
Good-bye, house.

499
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:53,619
I release you.

500
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:00,125
They're going
to call the police.

501
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,627
Shut up!

502
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:05,130
It's better this way.

503
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:11,236
♪♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-calling ♪
♪

504
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:13,972
♪♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪♪

505
00:21:13,972 --> 00:21:15,474
♪♪ Quite stylish ♪♪

506
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:17,976
♪♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused ♪♪

507
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:20,879
♪♪ Well, maybe,
but I got you pegged ♪♪

508
00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:22,748
(laughs)

509
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,816
♪♪ But I don'’’t know what to do
 ♪♪

510
00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:28,687
♪♪ With those tossed salad
s and scrambled eggs ♪♪

511
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:31,657
♪♪ They'’’re calling again
. ♪♪

512
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:33,892
Thank you!