1 00:00:02,282 --> 00:00:04,283 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,287 --> 00:00:11,663 FRASIER: Well, Caroline, if you've been in therapy for two years 3 00:00:11,747 --> 00:00:13,457 and feel like you're no longer making progress, 4 00:00:13,541 --> 00:00:15,584 perhaps you've reached a plateau 5 00:00:15,668 --> 00:00:20,587 or you and your therapist have simply gone as far as you can together. 6 00:00:20,671 --> 00:00:22,422 CAROLINE: Maybe it is time for a change. 7 00:00:22,506 --> 00:00:24,965 He's kind of dry and long-winded. 8 00:00:25,049 --> 00:00:27,050 Well, two years is certainly a long time 9 00:00:27,134 --> 00:00:30,511 to spend with a psychiatrist you find dry and long-winded. 10 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:31,638 Amen to that. 11 00:00:33,682 --> 00:00:36,767 Thanks, Dr. Crane. You've given me a lot to think about. 12 00:00:36,851 --> 00:00:40,311 Would it be okay if I call back sometime and pick your brain? 13 00:00:40,395 --> 00:00:42,771 Well, just consider me your mental banjo. 14 00:00:44,439 --> 00:00:46,691 Well, that's it for this fine Friday, Seattle. 15 00:00:46,775 --> 00:00:49,527 This is Frasier Crane saying we'll see you next week. 16 00:00:50,778 --> 00:00:52,653 -[SIGHS] -Good show, Frasier. 17 00:00:52,737 --> 00:00:55,991 Oh, Roz, I've been waiting for this moment for the entire week. 18 00:00:59,076 --> 00:00:59,952 [GASPS] 19 00:01:00,952 --> 00:01:01,786 Oh! 20 00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:06,456 That's what I love about you, Frasier. You work hard and you play hard. 21 00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:09,750 Oh, Roz, you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to this weekend. 22 00:01:09,834 --> 00:01:13,295 You know, there comes a time when even the most conscientious of psychiatrists 23 00:01:13,379 --> 00:01:15,839 has had his fill of other people's problems. 24 00:01:16,423 --> 00:01:18,423 Hi, is one of you Roz Doyle? 25 00:01:18,507 --> 00:01:21,260 Yes. That's all the clues we're gonna give you. 26 00:01:25,305 --> 00:01:28,223 A little offering from one of your suitors, perhaps, eh? 27 00:01:29,766 --> 00:01:34,186 Maybe a nice string of pearls, a teardrop pendant. 28 00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:36,646 It's a brick of cheese. 29 00:01:39,941 --> 00:01:42,735 Well, on the right chain, I can see that looking smart. 30 00:01:43,527 --> 00:01:44,820 No, it's from my family. 31 00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:48,405 They're in Wisconsin at my uncle's dairy farm having a family reunion. 32 00:01:48,489 --> 00:01:49,697 Why didn't you go, Roz? 33 00:01:49,781 --> 00:01:52,242 Oh, there wasn't time. But now I wish I'd gone. 34 00:01:52,326 --> 00:01:54,451 Frasier, we always have so much fun. 35 00:01:54,535 --> 00:01:57,246 Like this one time there was this huge cheese platter. 36 00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,372 One of my uncles started speaking in cheese language. 37 00:01:59,456 --> 00:02:01,874 Like instead of saying, "Hello, how are you?" 38 00:02:01,958 --> 00:02:03,375 He said, "Hello, Havarti." 39 00:02:06,545 --> 00:02:08,588 Someone else would go, "Ooh, I'm Gouda." 40 00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:12,715 And then… I don't know, what would come after that? 41 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,302 Well, if I'd been there, the sound of a gunshot. 42 00:02:17,511 --> 00:02:19,972 [VOICE BREAKING] Don't make fun. I miss those people. 43 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,765 Oh, Roz, oh. 44 00:02:22,933 --> 00:02:25,684 -There, there. -We play games and sing songs. 45 00:02:25,768 --> 00:02:27,394 Oh, of course, I know. 46 00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:30,020 And Aunt Libby does cannonballs into the lake. 47 00:02:30,104 --> 00:02:31,981 Oh, yes, the memories must be… 48 00:02:32,065 --> 00:02:34,191 And then Uncle Ned has too much to drink 49 00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:36,693 and he starts putting pants on all the cows. 50 00:02:36,777 --> 00:02:37,736 Oh. 51 00:02:38,278 --> 00:02:42,072 I mean, listen, Roz, look, if what you're looking for is family fun tonight, 52 00:02:42,156 --> 00:02:44,240 why don't you come to my place? It's my dad's birthday. 53 00:02:44,324 --> 00:02:46,868 I forgot about it last year. I'm gonna make up for it this year. 54 00:02:46,952 --> 00:02:49,995 There's just one rule: No work, just a good time. 55 00:02:50,079 --> 00:02:51,746 I don't think I'd be much fun. 56 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,831 FRASIER: Roz, I insist. 57 00:02:53,915 --> 00:02:56,041 There's no one I enjoy partying with more than you. 58 00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:58,502 And I just hate to see you like this. I… 59 00:02:59,336 --> 00:03:01,545 -I Camembert it. -Aw… 60 00:03:03,339 --> 00:03:05,591 -How sweet. [SOBS] -Oh… 61 00:03:10,719 --> 00:03:11,887 [DOOR OPENS] 62 00:03:12,471 --> 00:03:13,681 All right! 63 00:03:14,973 --> 00:03:16,724 It's someone's birthday. 64 00:03:17,225 --> 00:03:19,601 I hope you're all in the mood for a party. 65 00:03:19,685 --> 00:03:20,727 I know I am. 66 00:03:20,811 --> 00:03:23,437 -DAPHNE: You're bloody impossible! -MARTIN: And you're a bloody nag! 67 00:03:23,521 --> 00:03:27,441 -DAPHNE: Don't you shake that cane at me! -MARTIN: Quack, quack, quack… Hey! 68 00:03:27,525 --> 00:03:30,151 Oh, for heaven's sake, not again. 69 00:03:30,235 --> 00:03:33,528 I just decided what I want for my birthday: fire Daphne. 70 00:03:33,612 --> 00:03:36,406 You'd have to rehire me first, because I quit. 71 00:03:36,490 --> 00:03:40,952 I hope I never see this place or that hateful old canker sore again. 72 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:43,912 -What is it this time? -DAPHNE: The usual. 73 00:03:43,996 --> 00:03:45,704 I ask him to do his exercises, 74 00:03:45,788 --> 00:03:48,248 and he twists his face up like a mewling baby. 75 00:03:48,332 --> 00:03:50,291 Why don't you tell him how you ask me to do it? 76 00:03:50,375 --> 00:03:51,751 By pouring my beer down the sink 77 00:03:51,835 --> 00:03:54,295 and banging on the spaghetti pot with a wooden spoon. 78 00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:57,005 I'm here for your health. I don't have to be your friend. 79 00:03:57,089 --> 00:03:59,381 That's good, because I got a friend right here 80 00:03:59,465 --> 00:04:01,551 who doesn't happen to be a yammering nag. 81 00:04:02,135 --> 00:04:03,552 Eddie, fetch. 82 00:04:03,636 --> 00:04:04,761 Oh, stop this. 83 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,138 Jeez. You have the same argument all the time. 84 00:04:07,222 --> 00:04:10,933 You can pick this up again tomorrow. Tonight we are going to have a party. 85 00:04:12,684 --> 00:04:15,478 I went down to Emilio's. I got your favorite lemon cake. 86 00:04:15,562 --> 00:04:18,146 You see? I also got some snacks and some champagne. 87 00:04:18,230 --> 00:04:20,065 Can we all just agree to have fun this evening? 88 00:04:20,149 --> 00:04:21,024 [DOORBELL RINGS] 89 00:04:21,108 --> 00:04:23,484 That is probably Roz. She's been down this week. 90 00:04:23,568 --> 00:04:26,653 What's she's in need of is a happy and carefree environment. 91 00:04:26,737 --> 00:04:31,156 Frankly, I could use the same thing. Now can you just agree to maybe a truce? 92 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,290 -Well, if she keeps her big mouth shut… -if he can keep… 93 00:04:35,702 --> 00:04:37,495 -Roz! Hello. -Hi, Frasier. 94 00:04:38,288 --> 00:04:39,913 -Hey, Martin. -MARTIN: Hey, Roz. 95 00:04:39,997 --> 00:04:43,333 -Happy birthday. -Oh, you didn't have to do this. 96 00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:47,836 Hey! Thanks, Roz, I'll have to model it for you later. 97 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,380 He's already modeling the last one someone gave him. 98 00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:52,173 -MARTIN: Quack. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 99 00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:55,634 I have a very nice evening planned. Can we all just try to be civil? 100 00:04:57,469 --> 00:04:59,095 You unprincipled charlatan! 101 00:05:00,096 --> 00:05:02,222 You unconscionable fraud! 102 00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:04,975 -Happy birthday, Dad. -Thanks. 103 00:05:06,184 --> 00:05:07,935 Niles, what are you talking about? 104 00:05:08,019 --> 00:05:10,687 You spoke to a patient of mine today, Caroline. 105 00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:15,483 As a result of your fast-food approach to psychiatry, she left me. 106 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,403 Caroline was your patient? 107 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:25,616 Two years of my hard work wiped out by one of your two-minute McSessions. 108 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,870 Niles, I merely suggested that she consider a change. 109 00:05:32,954 --> 00:05:34,706 Based on what diagnostic method? 110 00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:36,124 "One potato, two potato"? 111 00:05:37,541 --> 00:05:38,709 DAPHNE: Oh, fancy that. 112 00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:41,712 A member of the Crane family who doesn't take the time to do something. 113 00:05:41,796 --> 00:05:44,380 -Quack. -Exactly, Dad. Quack. 114 00:05:44,464 --> 00:05:45,298 Oh… 115 00:05:45,965 --> 00:05:47,257 I was talking to her. 116 00:05:47,341 --> 00:05:49,175 Don't you raise your cane at her. 117 00:05:49,259 --> 00:05:51,635 DAPHNE: Let him. It's only exercise he'll get. 118 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,804 It happens to be Dad's birthday, for God's sake. 119 00:05:53,888 --> 00:05:56,014 [ALL ARGUING INDISTINCTLY] 120 00:05:57,599 --> 00:05:58,891 No, wait! 121 00:05:58,975 --> 00:06:00,309 Roz, where are you going? 122 00:06:03,437 --> 00:06:04,729 I think I better leave. 123 00:06:04,813 --> 00:06:07,732 We were just talking. It wasn't fighting. We were talking. 124 00:06:08,608 --> 00:06:10,692 I'd just really rather be by myself. 125 00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:11,818 Thanks, guys. 126 00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:13,194 I had a wonderful time. 127 00:06:15,822 --> 00:06:17,156 Well, I hope you're happy. 128 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,824 -You've ruined her evening. -Her evening? It's my birthday. 129 00:06:19,908 --> 00:06:22,534 Right. Well, let's get that under way right now. 130 00:06:22,618 --> 00:06:23,911 Who's ready for cake? 131 00:06:25,704 --> 00:06:29,165 I certainly don't wanna keep anybody here a second longer than they have to be, 132 00:06:29,249 --> 00:06:30,708 so let's get this over with. 133 00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:32,459 Thanks for a great party. 134 00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,979 NILES: Well, there's nothing wrong with Dad's lungs. 135 00:06:40,590 --> 00:06:42,467 DAPHNE: Every light in the city is out. 136 00:06:42,551 --> 00:06:44,468 -It must be a blackout. -FRASIER: Don't panic. 137 00:06:44,552 --> 00:06:46,595 There's worse places we could all be in a blackout. 138 00:06:46,679 --> 00:06:48,763 -NILES: Like the elevator. -FRASIER: Oh, my God, Roz! 139 00:06:48,847 --> 00:06:50,597 MARTIN: Why couldn't it be Daphne? 140 00:06:51,599 --> 00:06:53,699 -[CANE CLANKS] -MARTIN: Stop doing that! 141 00:06:58,980 --> 00:07:00,814 DAPHNE: We just need to get some light in here. 142 00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:03,524 -MARTIN: Eddie, where are you? -DAPHNE: Oh, excuse me, Dr. Crane. 143 00:07:03,608 --> 00:07:05,277 NILES: Quite all right, Daphne. 144 00:07:06,236 --> 00:07:08,153 FRASIER: Oh, Daphne, where are the hurricane lamps? 145 00:07:08,237 --> 00:07:10,197 DAPHNE: In the kitchen. I'll get them. 146 00:07:10,281 --> 00:07:11,989 FRASIER: Dad, why don't you light a fire? 147 00:07:12,073 --> 00:07:15,523 -DAPHNE: Oh. Excuse me, Dr. Crane. -NILES: Not your fault, Daphne. 148 00:07:17,327 --> 00:07:18,912 MARTIN: Eddie, where are you? 149 00:07:18,996 --> 00:07:19,913 -[THUD] -[EDDIE BARKS] 150 00:07:19,997 --> 00:07:21,622 FRASIER: Damn it! I found him. 151 00:07:23,499 --> 00:07:24,665 Well, that's better. 152 00:07:24,749 --> 00:07:26,959 I'm gonna go get my radio, see what the hell's going on. 153 00:07:27,043 --> 00:07:28,086 FRASIER: All right. 154 00:07:29,962 --> 00:07:32,214 Oh, Roz, Roz, are you all right? 155 00:07:32,298 --> 00:07:33,547 [PANTING] I'm fine. I'm fine. 156 00:07:33,631 --> 00:07:37,301 The blackout hit just as the elevator doors opened on the 14th floor. 157 00:07:37,385 --> 00:07:40,261 So I stood in the hallway trying to decide 158 00:07:40,345 --> 00:07:42,429 whether to come back up here with you guys 159 00:07:42,513 --> 00:07:45,057 or take my chances on the pitch-black streets 160 00:07:45,141 --> 00:07:46,851 with the muggers and the weirdos. 161 00:07:48,185 --> 00:07:50,061 So I went down a couple of flights… 162 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,106 And then I changed my mind. 163 00:07:55,316 --> 00:07:57,942 Meanwhile, somebody's probably looting my apartment. 164 00:07:58,026 --> 00:08:00,152 Yes, I hear there's a thriving black market 165 00:08:00,236 --> 00:08:02,321 in badly designed Formica coffee tables. 166 00:08:04,406 --> 00:08:06,532 At least I have my own sense of style. 167 00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,117 You won't even buy a chair 168 00:08:08,201 --> 00:08:12,370 unless some fey French aristocrat has sat his fat satin fanny in it. 169 00:08:12,454 --> 00:08:13,870 Louis XIV was not fey. 170 00:08:13,954 --> 00:08:16,164 Everyone wore garters in the 18th century. 171 00:08:16,248 --> 00:08:19,500 -Yeah, if they were fey, they did. -I will have you know he was… 172 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,211 Silence, enfants! 173 00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:23,086 Jeez! 174 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,672 We can all sit here in the dark 175 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:28,966 and be miserable or we can try to have some fun. 176 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,092 I'm going to call Maris. 177 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,594 Well, Niles has voted. Who votes for fun? 178 00:08:34,554 --> 00:08:36,429 I'm gonna go get a big glass of wine. 179 00:08:36,513 --> 00:08:39,224 Well, it looks like the steaks we were going to have are out. 180 00:08:39,308 --> 00:08:41,350 -I better go see what I can find. -FRASIER: Thank you. 181 00:08:41,434 --> 00:08:44,186 -Ooh… [CHUCKLES] Sorry, Dr. Crane. -Excuse me, Daphne. 182 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:46,521 There's a power outage all over south Seattle. 183 00:08:46,605 --> 00:08:48,022 They're working on it now. 184 00:08:48,106 --> 00:08:51,733 Hello, Maris, thank God I got you. Darling, there is no need to panic. 185 00:08:51,817 --> 00:08:53,867 The most important thing is to stay calm. 186 00:08:54,611 --> 00:08:55,779 About the blackout. 187 00:08:57,072 --> 00:08:59,114 Maris, take off your slumber mask. 188 00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:02,659 Oh. No, no, darling, don't panic. 189 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,742 Honey… No, honey… 190 00:09:03,826 --> 00:09:06,079 It… We're… Honey… Honey… Ho… 191 00:09:09,539 --> 00:09:10,499 She's fine. 192 00:09:16,753 --> 00:09:20,464 Ooh, yum, scrum, pigs' bummies. Something nice. 193 00:09:20,548 --> 00:09:23,508 Half-gallon tubs of cookies 'n' cream and vanilla fudge. 194 00:09:23,592 --> 00:09:27,094 Mm. Well, let's take care of these right away before they melt. 195 00:09:27,178 --> 00:09:28,304 FRASIER: No need to worry. 196 00:09:28,388 --> 00:09:30,430 The freezer will keep them cold for at least 24 hours. 197 00:09:30,514 --> 00:09:31,598 BOTH: Shut up. 198 00:09:33,725 --> 00:09:35,559 Well, I don't like to get nostalgic, 199 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,645 but it was sure great last year when you forgot my birthday. 200 00:09:40,355 --> 00:09:45,025 Oh… You know what we need to do? We need to liven things up a little bit. 201 00:09:45,109 --> 00:09:46,568 How about a game? 202 00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:49,069 What was that game we played at the Vanderkelins 203 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:53,489 while they were costuming the servants for the living chess match? It was, um… 204 00:09:53,573 --> 00:09:56,366 Oh, yes, I remember. It was "I'm the Dullest Person." 205 00:09:56,450 --> 00:10:00,037 Well, at least pick a game someone else has a chance of winning. 206 00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:04,707 That's got things shaking. 207 00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:06,458 Okay, come on, Dad, come on. 208 00:10:06,542 --> 00:10:09,544 The object of the game is we all get pennies 209 00:10:09,628 --> 00:10:12,630 and we're supposed to try to get the other person's pennies. 210 00:10:12,714 --> 00:10:14,548 Please, slow down. 211 00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:16,799 All right, now, 212 00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,509 if I were going to go, I would say, 213 00:10:19,593 --> 00:10:24,597 "I am the dullest person because I have never been on a roller coaster." 214 00:10:24,681 --> 00:10:27,391 And then all of you that have been on a roller coaster 215 00:10:27,475 --> 00:10:29,142 would give me a penny. 216 00:10:29,226 --> 00:10:31,812 Now, then, all right, now we all have our pennies. 217 00:10:33,021 --> 00:10:34,396 Who would like to go first? 218 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,148 -Daphne? -I can't think of anything. 219 00:10:36,232 --> 00:10:37,232 FRASIER: Of course you can. 220 00:10:37,316 --> 00:10:39,442 Just say the first thing that comes into your mind. 221 00:10:39,526 --> 00:10:42,611 -"I'm the dullest person because…" -Oh, I don't know. 222 00:10:42,695 --> 00:10:46,822 Because I've never made love in a lift or a phone booth 223 00:10:46,906 --> 00:10:49,450 or on an airplane or a merry-go-round. 224 00:10:49,534 --> 00:10:52,494 That's good, but strategically speaking, it's not the best way to get our pennies. 225 00:10:52,578 --> 00:10:54,453 It should be something someone might have actually… 226 00:10:54,537 --> 00:10:55,371 [PENNY CLINKS] 227 00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:57,707 …done. 228 00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,714 [PENNIES CLINKING] 229 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,093 I was in college. 230 00:11:13,177 --> 00:11:14,928 I was trying to find myself. 231 00:11:16,096 --> 00:11:18,646 All you needed to do was look under the nearest man. 232 00:11:22,017 --> 00:11:24,644 All right, Dad, get our pennies. 233 00:11:24,728 --> 00:11:26,937 All right. I'm the dullest person 234 00:11:27,021 --> 00:11:29,273 because I've never been to France. 235 00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:31,274 That's good, Dad. That's in the spirit of it. 236 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,609 All right, Niles, what's something you've never done? 237 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:34,693 Well, let's see. 238 00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:37,862 I'm the dullest person because I've never sabotaged my brother's career. 239 00:11:37,946 --> 00:11:39,363 Will you give it a rest? 240 00:11:39,447 --> 00:11:41,323 Your father could show you how to do that. 241 00:11:41,407 --> 00:11:42,825 Quack, quack, quack. 242 00:11:42,909 --> 00:11:44,910 [ALL ARGUING INDISTINCTLY] 243 00:11:46,453 --> 00:11:48,036 Will you people stop?! 244 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,413 You are torturing me. 245 00:11:49,497 --> 00:11:51,832 I could report you to Amnesty International. 246 00:11:52,916 --> 00:11:54,917 -That's it. I'm out of here. -Oh, Dad. 247 00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:57,794 You haven't even cut your cake yet. Where are you going? 248 00:11:57,878 --> 00:11:59,713 MARTIN: I'm gonna sit in the tub with a hair dryer 249 00:11:59,797 --> 00:12:01,839 and wait for the power to come back on. 250 00:12:02,757 --> 00:12:05,342 Well, this blackout could go on all night. 251 00:12:05,426 --> 00:12:08,386 It's time I braved the dark streets and got back to my Maris. 252 00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:11,013 I just hope this isn't like the lightning storm last month. 253 00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,347 The only way I could coax her out 254 00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,642 from under the bed was by tying a Prozac to the end of a string. 255 00:12:20,479 --> 00:12:21,480 FRASIER: Roz? 256 00:12:22,606 --> 00:12:24,107 You wanna have a little cake? 257 00:12:24,732 --> 00:12:25,942 No, thanks. 258 00:12:26,651 --> 00:12:29,528 [SIGHS] This reminds me of Wisconsin. 259 00:12:30,112 --> 00:12:31,947 All dark and deserted. 260 00:12:32,572 --> 00:12:34,472 That's on the license plate, isn't it? 261 00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:38,909 Roz, what's the real reason you didn't go to your reunion? 262 00:12:38,993 --> 00:12:40,443 You've always made it before. 263 00:12:41,954 --> 00:12:42,871 ROZ: Well… 264 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:44,873 No, no. 265 00:12:44,957 --> 00:12:48,917 You said you didn't wanna hear any more problems today, and I don't blame you. 266 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:52,879 I think we have time for one more caller. 267 00:12:56,006 --> 00:12:56,882 Well, 268 00:12:57,550 --> 00:13:01,510 every year I go to my reunion, and my relatives crowd around me 269 00:13:01,594 --> 00:13:03,638 and I answer the same questions. 270 00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:05,930 No, I'm not married. 271 00:13:06,014 --> 00:13:07,516 No, I don't have any kids. 272 00:13:08,225 --> 00:13:10,059 Yes, I still have that tattoo. 273 00:13:10,143 --> 00:13:11,436 Nope, you can't see it. 274 00:13:14,438 --> 00:13:18,231 It'd just be so nice if I could at least say I have a great career. 275 00:13:18,315 --> 00:13:21,026 -Roz, you do have a great career. -[SCOFFS] 276 00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:22,526 Tell that to my relatives. 277 00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:23,819 According to them, 278 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:27,113 I spend four hours on the phone every day with a bunch of losers 279 00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:30,908 and wackos, and then I turn them over to some tedious know-it-all 280 00:13:30,992 --> 00:13:33,285 who gives them pointless advice. 281 00:13:33,369 --> 00:13:34,495 FRASIER: Hmm. 282 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,831 Oh, that's not me talking. That's my uncle Ned. 283 00:13:39,915 --> 00:13:42,251 Oh, yes, the cow haberdasher. 284 00:13:45,170 --> 00:13:46,671 You know, Roz, ten years ago, 285 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,381 KACL didn't have any women producers. 286 00:13:50,591 --> 00:13:51,758 You're a pioneer. 287 00:13:51,842 --> 00:13:53,259 You've won awards. 288 00:13:53,885 --> 00:13:55,344 You help people. 289 00:13:57,138 --> 00:13:59,263 -Sounds right when you say it. -Mm-hm. 290 00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:01,766 I bet you're just looking for too much from your job. 291 00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:05,400 You should start exploring other areas of your life, interests. Maybe… 292 00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,520 Maybe a serious relationship. 293 00:14:08,563 --> 00:14:10,064 Maybe you're right. 294 00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:13,775 I mean, how long can I go on chasing these hunky 25-year-olds 295 00:14:13,859 --> 00:14:15,776 that are all looks and no substance? 296 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:17,069 Exactly, Roz. 297 00:14:17,153 --> 00:14:20,363 No, I'm serious, I'm asking. How long? Three, four years? What? 298 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:24,298 -[CROCKERY SMASHES] -DAPHNE: Oh, bloody hell! 299 00:14:25,576 --> 00:14:27,035 Daphne, you all right? 300 00:14:27,119 --> 00:14:30,746 I broke your father's souvenir spoon rest from Atlantic City. 301 00:14:30,830 --> 00:14:31,831 Oh, good. 302 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,126 You know, when I have my own kitchen, 303 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:39,086 I'm gonna put me spoons right on the damn counter. 304 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,130 I've always said as soon as I save $2000, 305 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,756 I'll get me own place. 306 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,510 -Well, how much have you saved? -Four thousand. 307 00:14:47,301 --> 00:14:49,261 Oh, I know what you're thinking. 308 00:14:49,345 --> 00:14:50,554 What's wrong with me? 309 00:14:50,638 --> 00:14:52,096 Why do I stay here? 310 00:14:52,180 --> 00:14:54,891 No, I was just thinking I must be paying you too much. 311 00:14:57,351 --> 00:14:59,853 Me friends all say, "You should be on your own. 312 00:14:59,937 --> 00:15:01,938 Have a place. Have a life." 313 00:15:03,064 --> 00:15:05,064 Why do I stay here? 314 00:15:05,148 --> 00:15:07,234 Well, could it be that maybe you… 315 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,610 You like us? 316 00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:13,238 You know, my grandmother used to have a cat, 317 00:15:13,322 --> 00:15:16,032 mangy old thing, kept ruining the furniture and stuff. 318 00:15:16,699 --> 00:15:18,783 I asked her why she kept it, 319 00:15:18,867 --> 00:15:21,453 and she said that maybe it was because 320 00:15:21,537 --> 00:15:25,331 she liked having another heartbeat around the house. 321 00:15:26,748 --> 00:15:29,959 It just makes me feel like I'm not very ambitious. 322 00:15:30,043 --> 00:15:32,878 I mean, I could be working in a hospital or a clinic. 323 00:15:32,962 --> 00:15:34,421 Of course you could, Daphne, 324 00:15:34,505 --> 00:15:37,205 but maybe that's not what's important to you right now. 325 00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:39,509 I think you like being part of a family. 326 00:15:40,009 --> 00:15:41,159 What's wrong with that? 327 00:15:42,219 --> 00:15:43,804 Nothing, I suppose. 328 00:15:45,137 --> 00:15:49,557 Although me friends wonder how I can live with such demanding men. 329 00:15:49,641 --> 00:15:51,476 Oh, they call me demanding, do they? 330 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,935 No, actually, they call you a pompous ass. 331 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:54,979 Oh. 332 00:15:57,231 --> 00:16:00,984 -But now you've learned that I'm not. -No, I've learned to work around it. 333 00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:04,027 Excuse me, I'm getting a beer. 334 00:16:04,111 --> 00:16:06,070 And, yes, I know it's not good for me. 335 00:16:06,154 --> 00:16:07,738 And, yes, I know it's gonna make me fat. 336 00:16:07,822 --> 00:16:10,491 And, yes, I know it'll keep me from doing my exercises. 337 00:16:10,575 --> 00:16:12,700 -You have anything to add to that? -Yes. 338 00:16:12,784 --> 00:16:15,370 Happy birthday, you old sod. 339 00:16:20,832 --> 00:16:22,667 They try to confuse you on purpose. 340 00:16:28,297 --> 00:16:30,214 God, room temperature. 341 00:16:30,298 --> 00:16:33,426 Just like merry old England, another place I'll never get to. 342 00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:37,887 You used to talk about going to Europe when your hip improved. 343 00:16:37,971 --> 00:16:39,513 Now you're saying you'll never get there. 344 00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:41,139 -What's changed? -Nothing. 345 00:16:41,223 --> 00:16:43,682 My hip's the same as it was a year ago. 346 00:16:43,766 --> 00:16:45,309 I had it in my head I'd be better by now, 347 00:16:45,393 --> 00:16:47,543 but I'm not and I'm probably never gonna be. 348 00:16:48,729 --> 00:16:50,188 Ah, you don't understand. 349 00:16:50,272 --> 00:16:52,439 You're happy just sitting on your can, 350 00:16:52,523 --> 00:16:55,192 doing your little radio show, living inside your head. 351 00:16:55,276 --> 00:16:57,319 But I'm used to being out there. 352 00:16:59,571 --> 00:17:00,571 MARTIN: Eddie! 353 00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,395 FRASIER: Listen, Dad, uh… 354 00:17:11,913 --> 00:17:14,123 You can still travel. 355 00:17:14,832 --> 00:17:15,916 No, you can. 356 00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:21,420 If you can't walk around Paris, you could sit at a nice café 357 00:17:21,504 --> 00:17:23,672 and let Paris walk past you. 358 00:17:24,548 --> 00:17:27,550 Maybe buy a glass of wine for a beautiful mademoiselle, 359 00:17:28,468 --> 00:17:30,636 get yourself a nice bottle of imported beer. 360 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,720 I only like Ballantine's. 361 00:17:32,804 --> 00:17:35,015 In Paris, Ballantine's is imported beer. 362 00:17:37,808 --> 00:17:41,311 And you are the handsome Américain 363 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,730 with the adorable accent. 364 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,234 They like mustaches over there, don't they? 365 00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:55,322 [PANTING] 366 00:17:57,574 --> 00:17:59,450 Nineteen floors down to my car. 367 00:18:00,076 --> 00:18:01,410 Garage door's electric. 368 00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:02,536 Can't open it. 369 00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:03,869 Twenty floors back up. 370 00:18:03,953 --> 00:18:05,079 Lost count. 371 00:18:05,163 --> 00:18:06,581 Bad lady upstairs. 372 00:18:06,665 --> 00:18:07,789 Big dog. 373 00:18:07,873 --> 00:18:09,208 Need place to die. 374 00:18:12,293 --> 00:18:13,669 ROZ: Same to you, buddy! 375 00:18:13,753 --> 00:18:15,379 Who you talking to? 376 00:18:15,463 --> 00:18:17,422 Some rowdy guys downstairs. 377 00:18:17,506 --> 00:18:20,106 Come on out here, Martin. I want you to introduce us. 378 00:18:22,093 --> 00:18:24,094 MARTIN: All right, keep your pants on. 379 00:18:24,178 --> 00:18:25,553 Here, Niles, let me take your coat. 380 00:18:25,637 --> 00:18:28,264 Oh, haven't you taken enough from me today? 381 00:18:28,348 --> 00:18:31,016 Oh, Niles, you're being silly and irrational. 382 00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,559 Sticks and stones… 383 00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:34,103 You're acting just like Dad. 384 00:18:34,686 --> 00:18:36,229 You take that back! 385 00:18:39,731 --> 00:18:43,651 You know you're not really mad at me. I didn't tell that woman to leave you. 386 00:18:44,318 --> 00:18:46,194 I merely suggested it as an option. 387 00:18:46,278 --> 00:18:47,530 It was all her choice. 388 00:18:48,321 --> 00:18:51,991 Could it be that you're upset because you couldn't help that woman? 389 00:18:52,075 --> 00:18:53,825 You know, I really hate that. 390 00:18:53,909 --> 00:18:56,577 When you take a simple criticism and you turn it back on me. 391 00:18:56,661 --> 00:18:58,037 Well, I think I'm right. 392 00:18:58,121 --> 00:19:00,921 Well, of course you're right. Why do you think I hate it? 393 00:19:01,957 --> 00:19:02,958 [SIGHS] 394 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:07,336 Do you have any idea what I went through trying to help that woman? 395 00:19:07,962 --> 00:19:09,672 -Yes, I think I do. -[SIGHS] 396 00:19:10,296 --> 00:19:11,339 Niles… 397 00:19:12,549 --> 00:19:14,008 You're a perfectionist. 398 00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:18,053 As faults go, that's not such a bad one to have. 399 00:19:18,137 --> 00:19:21,847 Hmm. It just would've been nice if I could've been the one to tell her 400 00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:23,099 that it was time to go. 401 00:19:24,182 --> 00:19:28,894 Instead she had to hear it from some glib, albeit insightful, radio pundit. 402 00:19:31,647 --> 00:19:34,690 Those rowdy guys downstairs invited us to a blackout party. 403 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:36,651 -They got cold beer. -ROZ: And Jarlsberg. 404 00:19:36,735 --> 00:19:39,069 You know, it's funny, I was feeling a bit down before, 405 00:19:39,153 --> 00:19:40,654 but suddenly I'm in a party mood. 406 00:19:40,738 --> 00:19:43,155 -NILES: I am kind of too. -What about our party? 407 00:19:43,239 --> 00:19:45,823 -Well, there are people downstairs. -Yeah, they got barbecue. 408 00:19:45,907 --> 00:19:48,368 -NILES: Come on, Frasier. -Oh, no, no, thank you. 409 00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:49,952 I'm not in the mood anymore. 410 00:19:50,036 --> 00:19:51,453 Oh, don't be a party pooper. 411 00:19:51,537 --> 00:19:53,997 Oh, let him be. He's always been that way. 412 00:19:54,081 --> 00:19:57,166 Excuse me, just a second. Maybe it's time for a little lesson 413 00:19:57,250 --> 00:20:00,502 about what it's like to live the life of this party pooper. 414 00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:03,796 I spend the whole damn week ministering 415 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,547 to the troubled and the neurotic 416 00:20:05,631 --> 00:20:07,675 and the sometimes just plain goofy. 417 00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:11,470 Then I hang up my earphones, and it doesn't end there. 418 00:20:12,095 --> 00:20:13,137 Out on the street, 419 00:20:13,637 --> 00:20:15,847 at the café, even in this building, 420 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:18,433 more people come up for help, more problems. 421 00:20:19,058 --> 00:20:21,643 I suppose they just think it's okay. It's what I do. 422 00:20:22,311 --> 00:20:26,689 But every time I try to help them, it costs me a little piece of myself. 423 00:20:27,273 --> 00:20:30,067 A little bit here, a little bit there, a little bit here, a little bit there, 424 00:20:30,151 --> 00:20:32,902 until I end up feeling like a zebra carcass on the Serengeti 425 00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:34,696 surrounded by burping vultures. 426 00:20:37,573 --> 00:20:40,158 Well, this happened to be one of those weeks. 427 00:20:41,284 --> 00:20:42,618 I had my escape planned. 428 00:20:42,702 --> 00:20:46,121 I was gonna come home for an evening of fun with my extended family. 429 00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,372 What do I get? I get the four of you 430 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:51,042 going at each other like the Borgias on a bad day. 431 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:54,961 So I roll up my sleeves 432 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,421 and I tend to each one of you, 433 00:20:58,506 --> 00:21:00,132 and you all feel better. 434 00:21:00,216 --> 00:21:03,885 And the minute you get the whiff of mesquite coming from down below, 435 00:21:05,428 --> 00:21:07,011 you are out the door, 436 00:21:07,095 --> 00:21:08,889 without so much as a thank-you. 437 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,474 Well, thank you for the invitation. 438 00:21:12,558 --> 00:21:15,310 But I am frankly fed up with people and their problems. 439 00:21:16,353 --> 00:21:17,520 The doctor is out. 440 00:21:17,604 --> 00:21:20,188 -ROZ: Oh, Frasier… -I had no idea you felt that way. 441 00:21:20,272 --> 00:21:21,857 Okay, apologies accepted. 442 00:21:21,941 --> 00:21:23,234 Great, so you'll come? 443 00:21:25,735 --> 00:21:27,236 No, no, look, you… 444 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,279 I love you all, I really do. 445 00:21:29,363 --> 00:21:32,532 Just, uh, what I want is to be left alone, right here, 446 00:21:32,616 --> 00:21:34,575 -where no one needs anything from me. -Well… 447 00:21:34,659 --> 00:21:36,744 All right, I'll bring you some barbecue. 448 00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:38,411 [ALL CHATTERING] 449 00:21:38,495 --> 00:21:39,496 FRASIER: Have fun. 450 00:21:40,831 --> 00:21:42,748 ROZ: Oh, my God, it's dark out here. 451 00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:45,334 [DOOR CLOSES] 452 00:21:54,049 --> 00:21:55,925 Oh, for God's sake, Eddie. 453 00:21:56,592 --> 00:21:57,969 No, I'm not gonna do it. 454 00:21:58,553 --> 00:21:59,428 No. 455 00:22:16,108 --> 00:22:17,275 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 456 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,937 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 457 00:22:20,021 --> 00:22:22,195 ♪ Tossed salad and scrambled eggs ♪ 458 00:22:22,904 --> 00:22:24,238 Quite stylish. 459 00:22:24,322 --> 00:22:26,782 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 460 00:22:26,866 --> 00:22:29,326 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 461 00:22:29,410 --> 00:22:31,452 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 462 00:22:31,536 --> 00:22:33,078 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 463 00:22:33,162 --> 00:22:36,456 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 464 00:22:37,541 --> 00:22:39,667 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 465 00:22:39,751 --> 00:22:43,129 Frasier has left the building.