1 00:00:02,511 --> 00:00:03,887 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:09,811 --> 00:00:15,608 Nah. If someone grabs your parking space, don't just sit there, say something! 3 00:00:15,692 --> 00:00:21,073 Dad, a man with no front teeth and stitches on his nose can't take criticism. 4 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:23,784 What's this? 5 00:00:24,284 --> 00:00:28,289 Oh. Must be one of Daphne's inspirational tapes. 6 00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:29,791 Oh, my God. 7 00:00:30,583 --> 00:00:33,586 "Here, Have a Rainbow," by Dr. Honey Snow. 8 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,548 Daphne, how can you listen to this drivel? 9 00:00:36,632 --> 00:00:39,384 For someone who writes drivel, she's awfully popular. 10 00:00:39,468 --> 00:00:41,303 Oh, really, fancy that. 11 00:00:41,387 --> 00:00:44,848 She tells everyone they're wonderful and nothing's their fault. 12 00:00:44,932 --> 00:00:46,482 What do you know? They like it. 13 00:00:47,477 --> 00:00:50,646 There's more to it. You should read one of her books. 14 00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,580 -Yes, well I have. -[DOORBELL RINGS] 15 00:00:52,941 --> 00:00:57,822 After one page, I yearned for the worldly cynicism of Barney the Dinosaur. 16 00:01:00,241 --> 00:01:01,242 Hello, Niles. 17 00:01:01,534 --> 00:01:05,287 -What do we owe this pleasure? -Brace yourself, kids. It's raffle time! 18 00:01:05,371 --> 00:01:07,957 -MARTIN: Not again! -Afraid so. 19 00:01:08,041 --> 00:01:11,878 Oh, ye gods, who's been plumbing the shallows of Dr. Honey Snow? 20 00:01:11,962 --> 00:01:13,004 I have. 21 00:01:13,088 --> 00:01:14,464 Insightful, isn't she? 22 00:01:17,176 --> 00:01:21,347 Anyway, tickets are only $10, all goes to support Maris' little opera group. 23 00:01:21,431 --> 00:01:23,850 Dear God. What's the grand prize? 24 00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:27,896 Their lead soprano, Mrs. Fitzgibbons, will come and perform 25 00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:29,481 "The Ride of the Valkyries." 26 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,361 We've sold 800 tickets so the risk is pretty minimal. 27 00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,032 All right. 28 00:01:37,616 --> 00:01:38,617 In return, 29 00:01:38,783 --> 00:01:41,828 Let me offer a stock tip: Vectorcomp Software. 30 00:01:41,912 --> 00:01:43,287 Wendell says they can't miss. 31 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,971 -Who's Wendell? -My new broker. 32 00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:49,711 Every stock he puts me on to has paid off. He's clairvoyant. 33 00:01:49,795 --> 00:01:51,672 You know, I've got a bit tucked away. 34 00:01:52,381 --> 00:01:54,759 Maybe I should take a chance with Wendell. 35 00:01:55,217 --> 00:01:59,180 -It's not a sure thing. -Nothing in life is a sure thing. 36 00:01:59,264 --> 00:02:03,435 Dr. Snow has a little saying: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." 37 00:02:05,687 --> 00:02:09,192 She'd better copyright that before some unscrupulous hack steals it. 38 00:02:11,235 --> 00:02:12,987 I'll go in for 500. 39 00:02:13,071 --> 00:02:17,284 That's a lot for me, but I have a feeling I'm in for a bit of luck. 40 00:02:17,618 --> 00:02:20,037 All right. I'd better get ready. 41 00:02:20,496 --> 00:02:24,374 I'm off to the Book Nook. Dr. Snow's signing copies of her book. 42 00:02:24,458 --> 00:02:29,214 -What about my whirlpool therapy? -Oh, right, I forgot. 43 00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:33,802 Would you go there for me, Dr. Crane? 44 00:02:34,302 --> 00:02:36,304 It's around the corner from the station. 45 00:02:36,388 --> 00:02:38,724 I would sooner attend a hoedown. 46 00:02:41,686 --> 00:02:46,357 I have my compulsive spending seminar and I hope to sell these tickets. 47 00:02:49,194 --> 00:02:52,280 -What's the big deal? -I have my reputation to think of! 48 00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:53,365 What's the big deal? 49 00:02:54,866 --> 00:02:58,370 All right. If it makes you happy to see me humiliate myself. 50 00:02:58,454 --> 00:02:59,954 I always get a kick out of it. 51 00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:02,458 -Thanks ever so. -Yes, well. 52 00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,586 Oh! Look, everyone. 53 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:08,090 Eddie has found his inner puppy! 54 00:03:09,299 --> 00:03:10,384 [EDDIE BARKING] 55 00:03:17,892 --> 00:03:19,310 FRASIER: This will just take a minute. 56 00:03:19,394 --> 00:03:21,980 I hope so. I've barely got an hour for a lunch. 57 00:03:22,731 --> 00:03:28,946 -Oh, God, not another Honey Snow books. -Don't Change, You're Perfect. 58 00:03:29,739 --> 00:03:33,033 -People go for this junk? -It's unbelievable. 59 00:03:33,117 --> 00:03:34,867 Get her autograph for me, will you? 60 00:03:38,081 --> 00:03:43,753 Over there. Get it signed then we'll have lunch at Le Cigare Volant. 61 00:03:43,837 --> 00:03:46,965 -Me? Why don't you do it? -My reputation! 62 00:03:47,049 --> 00:03:48,217 What's the big deal? 63 00:03:51,345 --> 00:03:52,180 All right. 64 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,854 Oh. It's wonderful, isn't it? 65 00:03:59,521 --> 00:04:02,941 I just love what she says about finding a moment each day… 66 00:04:03,358 --> 00:04:06,653 To stop and give yourself a mental hug. 67 00:04:07,572 --> 00:04:09,032 I'm giving myself one now. 68 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,034 Really? 69 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,579 Actually, it's more of a Heimlich maneuver. 70 00:04:18,042 --> 00:04:19,085 Got it. 71 00:04:19,585 --> 00:04:22,838 -Good. Good. Let's buy it and go! -No, no. Not so fast. 72 00:04:22,922 --> 00:04:23,922 She wants to meet you. 73 00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:26,175 Roz, I don't want to meet the woman! 74 00:04:26,717 --> 00:04:28,553 Frasier, do you know what she looks like? 75 00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:31,737 I don't care. The woman stands for everything I find totally… 76 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:36,561 Enchanting. 77 00:04:37,772 --> 00:04:40,650 -Hello, I'm Dr. Honey Snow. -And I'm… 78 00:04:41,984 --> 00:04:44,034 Wait, don't tell me… Dr. Frasier Crane! 79 00:04:45,113 --> 00:04:48,700 Dr. Crane, let me shake your hand. Oh, what am I saying? 80 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,744 -Hug! -Why not? 81 00:04:53,539 --> 00:04:56,834 After all, a handshake is just a hug for fraidy-cats. 82 00:04:58,044 --> 00:04:59,045 No fear here. 83 00:05:02,465 --> 00:05:05,927 -I am one of your biggest fans. -I've recently become one of yours. 84 00:05:07,804 --> 00:05:12,517 I think the advice you give is so brilliant, yet so simple. 85 00:05:12,601 --> 00:05:15,980 What about those mental hugs of yours? 86 00:05:16,981 --> 00:05:18,781 It can't get much simpler than that. 87 00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:25,490 -I'll go get started on my appetizer. -Yes, all I want is a little nibble. 88 00:05:25,574 --> 00:05:26,575 Oh! Tell me. 89 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,872 I should go, but I'd love to talk more. 90 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:35,376 There seems to be such a positive energy between us. 91 00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:41,133 My publisher's giving me a dinner tonight. Would you come as my guest? 92 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,219 -I'd love to. -That's great. 93 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,514 -Nice meeting you, Dr. Snow. -Please, it's Honey. 94 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,729 It certainly is. 95 00:05:57,984 --> 00:05:59,778 [HORSE RACE PLAYING ON TV] 96 00:06:01,155 --> 00:06:03,532 -Good evening, Dr. Crane. -Good evening, Daphne. 97 00:06:03,616 --> 00:06:04,450 Dad. 98 00:06:05,534 --> 00:06:07,284 Watching the Sport of Kings, I see. 99 00:06:07,411 --> 00:06:10,361 -Which horse did you wager on? -Joe's Dream, number eight. 100 00:06:10,498 --> 00:06:11,499 Goodness. 101 00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:14,483 He's taking a serene, almost Buddhist approach to the race. 102 00:06:19,884 --> 00:06:22,803 Perhaps. You should invest in something more reliable, 103 00:06:22,887 --> 00:06:24,721 like Vectorcomp Software. 104 00:06:24,805 --> 00:06:28,100 -Our stock! Did it go up a bit? -No. It went up a lot. 105 00:06:28,810 --> 00:06:31,480 It gained 40% overnight. 106 00:06:32,022 --> 00:06:34,441 Wendell advised selling, so, voila… 107 00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:37,569 The original 500 plus 200 profit. 108 00:06:37,986 --> 00:06:42,075 200? Dr. Crane, I could kiss you! 109 00:06:46,287 --> 00:06:47,997 That's a nice little dividend. 110 00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:49,375 I'll say. 111 00:06:51,835 --> 00:06:53,837 Help me decide what to do with it. 112 00:06:54,129 --> 00:06:59,135 Well, you could let Wendell reinvest it, like I am. It's called rolling it over. 113 00:06:59,469 --> 00:07:00,470 Then I'll do it. 114 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:02,889 This is so exciting. 115 00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:04,640 What's all this? 116 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:09,272 Your brother just gave me $200, and now he's going to roll me over. 117 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,572 Niles? 118 00:07:18,656 --> 00:07:20,356 -Communications breakdown. -Good. 119 00:07:22,536 --> 00:07:25,664 -Why are you dressed up? Hot date? -Matter of fact, Yes. 120 00:07:26,123 --> 00:07:28,792 -With whom? -Dr. Honey Snow. 121 00:07:30,211 --> 00:07:33,422 Did it occur to you I might not want Niles to know? 122 00:07:33,506 --> 00:07:35,341 Sure it did. Right before I said it. 123 00:07:40,139 --> 00:07:43,892 You're dating Dr. Honey Snow? You consider her a ninny. 124 00:07:44,435 --> 00:07:47,479 What could you possibly see in this… Ho-ho, Mama! 125 00:07:50,483 --> 00:07:52,151 MARTIN: One hell of a cute shrink! 126 00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:54,904 No man wouldn't let her analyze his dreams. 127 00:07:55,530 --> 00:07:56,531 Analyze them? 128 00:07:57,198 --> 00:07:58,366 She could star in them. 129 00:08:04,206 --> 00:08:07,793 Yes. But what do you say when she wants to discuss her work? 130 00:08:07,877 --> 00:08:09,003 Well, I just simply… 131 00:08:09,838 --> 00:08:11,005 Skirt the issue. 132 00:08:11,089 --> 00:08:14,634 Of course, "Honey, your books are… Oh, look, the waiter's on fire." 133 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:17,595 [DOORBELL RINGS] 134 00:08:17,679 --> 00:08:18,763 You're jealous. 135 00:08:18,847 --> 00:08:21,097 But not half as jealous as you're about to be. 136 00:08:21,309 --> 00:08:24,437 Get a coaster for your lower lip. 137 00:08:27,065 --> 00:08:28,399 -Hi, honey. -Hi, Honey. 138 00:08:29,818 --> 00:08:35,115 Let me introduce you. Daphne Moon, Honey Snow. Honey Snow, Daphne Moon. 139 00:08:35,199 --> 00:08:36,616 -She's a big fan. -Oh. 140 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:37,534 BOTH: Hug. 141 00:08:40,163 --> 00:08:44,250 We both have sort of unusual names: Daphne Moon, Honey Snow. 142 00:08:44,334 --> 00:08:47,378 If you married my father, your name would be Honey Moon! 143 00:08:47,462 --> 00:08:48,588 [HONEY LAUGHS] 144 00:08:52,802 --> 00:08:55,929 -My father, Martin Crane. -Hello. 145 00:08:56,013 --> 00:09:00,352 -I see where Frasier gets his good looks. -Aw, get out of here! 146 00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:04,814 And last but not least, my brother, Niles. 147 00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:07,608 Oh, Dr. Niles Crane. 148 00:09:07,692 --> 00:09:11,363 I read a wonderful article you wrote in the Journal of Psychiatric Medicine. 149 00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:14,533 "Gestalt Therapy: Probing the Subconscious." 150 00:09:14,617 --> 00:09:17,953 Yes! And I believe I read your quiz in Cosmo, 151 00:09:18,037 --> 00:09:19,747 "Is your guy a stud or a dud?" 152 00:09:23,919 --> 00:09:24,969 Perhaps we should go. 153 00:09:25,462 --> 00:09:27,922 Well actually, not yet. I want to give you this. 154 00:09:28,006 --> 00:09:31,010 -Oh? -It's a manuscript of my next book. 155 00:09:31,636 --> 00:09:32,804 Oh! Another one? 156 00:09:33,263 --> 00:09:34,264 So soon? 157 00:09:35,265 --> 00:09:37,767 I hope you like it, Frasier, because, if you do… 158 00:09:38,268 --> 00:09:40,854 -I'd love for you to write the foreword. -Me? 159 00:09:40,938 --> 00:09:41,939 Who better? 160 00:09:45,776 --> 00:09:46,777 Well, uh… 161 00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:50,406 Actually, there's so many other people more qualified 162 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,451 to write for such an important work. 163 00:09:52,951 --> 00:09:58,414 -I almost think you don't want to do it. -Oh, no, it's a great honor. 164 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:01,794 I'll say. The last book had an introduction by Mickey Rooney. 165 00:10:01,878 --> 00:10:02,962 Wow! 166 00:10:06,632 --> 00:10:10,303 -Then I'm writing that foreword. -That's great! 167 00:10:11,054 --> 00:10:14,349 By next fall there'll be half-a-million copies 168 00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:16,476 with your name on the cover. 169 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:18,395 I've got my Christmas shopping done. 170 00:10:25,361 --> 00:10:26,488 [NILE GIGGLING] 171 00:10:30,701 --> 00:10:32,869 Stop giggling. It's distracting. 172 00:10:32,953 --> 00:10:34,663 Have you read this? 173 00:10:34,872 --> 00:10:37,722 I'm trying to recommend the book. Reading it doesn't help. 174 00:10:40,921 --> 00:10:41,922 Okay, here. 175 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,381 How's this? 176 00:10:43,882 --> 00:10:46,426 "Volumes have been written about human behavior, 177 00:10:47,427 --> 00:10:50,765 "and I can say, without fear of contradiction, that this book" 178 00:10:51,807 --> 00:10:53,976 can stand on the shelf next to any of them." 179 00:11:00,274 --> 00:11:02,694 -No good, is it? -No, but this is. 180 00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:05,030 "You don't have to be a star to twinkle." 181 00:11:08,992 --> 00:11:10,536 -Frasier, I need a hug. -Oh. 182 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,089 Niles, will you please help me? 183 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:20,087 Honey asked me to write this and she's got a deadline. 184 00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:25,177 "Time is a concept known only to man. Just for today, be a sunflower." 185 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,054 Give me that! 186 00:11:30,266 --> 00:11:32,352 You don't know what's at stake. 187 00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:35,355 I've never felt this way about a woman. 188 00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:39,233 I'm out of control. Her effect on me is… 189 00:11:39,317 --> 00:11:41,904 There's no words to describe it. It's more like a… 190 00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:43,531 Sound. 191 00:11:44,407 --> 00:11:45,449 [PURRING] 192 00:11:48,869 --> 00:11:50,204 Talking about Honey again? 193 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,041 Yes. 194 00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:58,171 It's laughable to put your name on 500,000 copies of this piffle. 195 00:11:58,964 --> 00:12:01,008 Not even piffle. It's piffle-lite. 196 00:12:03,219 --> 00:12:08,474 Lay off your brother. Some women make guys do stupid things. 197 00:12:09,225 --> 00:12:14,023 When I was on traffic duty there was a redhead who got away with anything. 198 00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:18,360 She could be doing 90, a school crossing guard on her hood, 199 00:12:19,028 --> 00:12:21,864 she'd flash that pouty smile 200 00:12:21,948 --> 00:12:26,369 and I'd ignore my partner, wag my finger at her and send her on her way. 201 00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:29,164 Yes, it's the old "good cop, horny cop" routine. 202 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,505 Good, you're all here. 203 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:40,259 -I want to show off my new coat. -Ooh. Very nice, Daphne. 204 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,096 Yes. I've spent like a drunken yuppie. 205 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:48,268 I went a bit over me budget. 206 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:50,646 If you're concerned about cash flow, 207 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,690 Wendell called today. 208 00:12:52,774 --> 00:12:56,443 -Again? Four times in two weeks? -The man's a wizard. 209 00:12:56,527 --> 00:12:57,528 Daphne… 210 00:12:58,071 --> 00:12:58,946 Your profit. 211 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,576 $400! 212 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,161 Dr. Crane! 213 00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:07,456 And here's one for Wendell. 214 00:13:08,916 --> 00:13:10,816 Did I mention Wendell has a secretary? 215 00:13:13,004 --> 00:13:18,593 -This calls for a celebration. -I'll take you all out for a nice dinner. 216 00:13:18,677 --> 00:13:21,054 -Oh. -I'll just put on my new dress. 217 00:13:21,638 --> 00:13:24,516 Put on your new shirt and corduroy slacks. 218 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:28,854 Hey, if you're buying I'm gonna wear elastic-waist pants and no belt. 219 00:13:33,318 --> 00:13:37,488 Well, Niles, that broker of yours, he's a marvel. 220 00:13:37,572 --> 00:13:40,450 -Yes, he's doing wonderful things for me. -Yes. 221 00:13:42,077 --> 00:13:45,372 I'd say so. I've been so impressed that I asked… 222 00:13:45,456 --> 00:13:48,251 Daphne about it and invested a few hundred. 223 00:13:49,293 --> 00:13:50,294 Really? 224 00:13:50,670 --> 00:13:53,090 -Well, congratulations. -Thank you but… 225 00:13:53,507 --> 00:13:55,926 There's one thing that's hard to figure out. 226 00:13:56,927 --> 00:14:00,639 Although I invested in the very same stock that Daphne did, 227 00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,143 mine declined and hers went up. 228 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:07,938 How do you explain that? 229 00:14:08,022 --> 00:14:10,150 Obviously one of us is lying, Frasier. 230 00:14:14,155 --> 00:14:15,156 What are you up to? 231 00:14:16,407 --> 00:14:19,660 This whole stock thing was a lie from the start. 232 00:14:19,744 --> 00:14:25,458 No, first it paid off, but then it tanked. What was I supposed to do? 233 00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:28,336 Tell that working-class Venus I'd lost her life savings? 234 00:14:29,629 --> 00:14:30,756 I paid her back… 235 00:14:31,256 --> 00:14:33,133 With a bit extra. Where's the harm in that? 236 00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:34,218 Niles. 237 00:14:34,302 --> 00:14:38,639 You're paying a woman for physical affection is the oldest profession. 238 00:14:38,973 --> 00:14:42,560 Granted, this is the sort of Walt Disney version. But still it's… 239 00:14:43,771 --> 00:14:45,689 It's wrong. I insist you stop it. 240 00:14:45,773 --> 00:14:48,942 No, it's altruistic, noble, fun and you can't make me stop. 241 00:14:51,069 --> 00:14:56,367 Dr. Crane, take this $400 back and buy whatever Wendell says. 242 00:14:56,951 --> 00:14:58,202 Consider it done. 243 00:14:58,286 --> 00:15:02,665 You know, Niles, I should get on that gravy train myself. 244 00:15:05,586 --> 00:15:07,546 Tell Wendell I'm in for 10,000. 245 00:15:08,005 --> 00:15:10,799 Good Lord. $10,000, Dr. Crane? 246 00:15:10,883 --> 00:15:14,513 Think of the dinner I'll be able to buy when Niles brings me my profits. 247 00:15:16,973 --> 00:15:21,978 Come on, hell, put me down for 200! This guy's some kind of genie. 248 00:15:22,062 --> 00:15:23,648 He's a real treasure, isn't he? 249 00:15:24,232 --> 00:15:28,277 I only hope those chest pains he complained about are indigestion. 250 00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:32,156 DAPHNE: So shall we go then? 251 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,493 I've decided on Farmer Jack's Chicken, Chicken, Chicken. 252 00:15:35,577 --> 00:15:37,496 I hear the chicken there is very good. 253 00:15:39,498 --> 00:15:42,498 -MARTIN: Are you coming? -You run along. I'll take my car. 254 00:15:45,046 --> 00:15:47,423 Well, I hope you're happy. 255 00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:53,305 -Snap out of it! You're dishonest. -Said the pot to the kettle. 256 00:15:53,389 --> 00:15:55,849 -What is that supposed to mean? -You know what it means. 257 00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:58,935 Don't be ridiculous. Our situations are different. 258 00:15:59,019 --> 00:16:02,898 -Oh, really, how so? -You're selfishly misleading a woman. 259 00:16:02,982 --> 00:16:04,734 -And so are you! -Well, I'm not finished. 260 00:16:04,818 --> 00:16:08,237 -She was trusting you. -And the difference is? 261 00:16:08,321 --> 00:16:10,282 Your woman is English. 262 00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:15,628 -Frasier, you've lost this one. -I know. 263 00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:17,123 I know. 264 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:19,540 It'll just take a little while 265 00:16:20,209 --> 00:16:22,920 to climb down off this particular high horse. 266 00:16:29,469 --> 00:16:31,179 I think you know what you have to do. 267 00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:32,264 Yes. 268 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,854 I have to tell her I can't write the foreword. 269 00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:40,273 Oh, Niles! 270 00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:44,278 And I have to say goodbye to the chance of ever… 271 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,530 Sleeping with absolute perfection. 272 00:16:48,198 --> 00:16:49,199 Oh, Niles. 273 00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:51,285 Where, oh, where… 274 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,205 Will I have the chance again… 275 00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:58,001 To gaze upon such extraordinarily… 276 00:16:58,919 --> 00:16:59,920 Proud… 277 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:01,796 Supple breasts? 278 00:17:03,715 --> 00:17:04,842 Not to worry, brother. 279 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:09,143 That's the special at Farmer Jack's Chicken, Chicken, Chicken. 280 00:17:18,607 --> 00:17:22,902 -Thanks for the wonderful dinner. -Thank you for the fabulous table. 281 00:17:22,986 --> 00:17:25,615 I think hugging the maître d' really clinched it. 282 00:17:26,991 --> 00:17:28,491 Would you care for a nightcap? 283 00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:29,661 Sure. 284 00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,330 You seemed tense all evening, 285 00:17:32,789 --> 00:17:34,089 but I have just the thing. 286 00:17:35,292 --> 00:17:36,752 It's a sandalwood candle. 287 00:17:37,628 --> 00:17:40,381 The scent is guaranteed to calm you down. 288 00:17:44,636 --> 00:17:46,638 You better fire up about ten of those. 289 00:17:54,438 --> 00:17:57,524 There's something I'd really like to talk to you about. 290 00:17:57,608 --> 00:18:00,944 About that foreword I've been trying to write. 291 00:18:01,028 --> 00:18:03,030 Can we not talk about work tonight, Frasier? 292 00:18:03,114 --> 00:18:08,620 I'm been chained to my desk all day researching an article on sexual intimacy. 293 00:18:09,204 --> 00:18:12,332 I'm up to here with The Joy of Sex, Kamasutra, 294 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,650 -Masters and Johnson… -Really? 295 00:18:16,254 --> 00:18:17,255 I feel like… 296 00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,133 I've been reading recipes all day, 297 00:18:21,426 --> 00:18:23,476 only there are no groceries in the house. 298 00:18:24,722 --> 00:18:25,723 Well, your… 299 00:18:26,348 --> 00:18:27,975 Bag boy has arrived. 300 00:18:33,439 --> 00:18:37,694 No, no, no, no, no. I really need to discuss this now. 301 00:18:38,111 --> 00:18:40,989 Oh! You. You're such a workaholic. 302 00:18:41,281 --> 00:18:44,284 I only hope you're this tireless about everything. 303 00:18:46,579 --> 00:18:48,289 Oh, you won't have any complaints. 304 00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:54,169 No, no, no, no, I've got to focus on the subject at hand. 305 00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:57,507 Frasier, tonight, I am the subject at hand. 306 00:19:04,264 --> 00:19:05,266 No, no, Honey. 307 00:19:05,933 --> 00:19:07,935 -I can't do it! -That's all right. 308 00:19:08,019 --> 00:19:09,896 -I have a candle for that too. -No. 309 00:19:12,398 --> 00:19:14,233 I can't write the foreword. 310 00:19:15,652 --> 00:19:16,653 Why not? 311 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,113 Well, I… 312 00:19:19,948 --> 00:19:22,159 I didn't think it was a very good book. 313 00:19:22,993 --> 00:19:25,872 I think the world of you and wish you success, 314 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,757 but the book isn't good enough to put my name on it. 315 00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:33,797 I guess I'll be going now. 316 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,719 I am so attracted to you right now. 317 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,561 Most men will say anything to a woman to have sex. 318 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:51,399 How great to meet a man who would risk rejection rather than be dishonest? 319 00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:53,151 Well, I, uh… 320 00:19:57,532 --> 00:19:59,700 Have to be true to my inner voice. 321 00:20:03,746 --> 00:20:05,874 I thought the book was weak myself. 322 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:08,334 I rushed it to meet a deadline. 323 00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:09,837 I'm so glad… 324 00:20:10,921 --> 00:20:13,048 You respected me enough to be honest. 325 00:20:14,049 --> 00:20:15,718 I think honesty is… 326 00:20:16,553 --> 00:20:18,513 The greatest aphrodisiac of all. 327 00:20:19,139 --> 00:20:21,307 I hope you feel you can be as honest with me. 328 00:20:21,391 --> 00:20:22,809 Oh, I do, I do. 329 00:20:23,768 --> 00:20:26,271 Tell me everything. I don't want us to hide anything. 330 00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,149 Your chapter titles were… 331 00:20:28,983 --> 00:20:30,401 Clumsy and jejune. 332 00:20:31,443 --> 00:20:32,444 Your turn. 333 00:20:32,528 --> 00:20:35,990 You use too much French in everyday conversation. You go. 334 00:20:36,074 --> 00:20:38,243 I think that sandalwood stinks! 335 00:20:42,539 --> 00:20:47,003 Oh! When you talk about wine, I wish I had a gun. 336 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,924 I thought your first three books were trite and saccharine. 337 00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:54,969 It's your turn, Honey. 338 00:20:59,057 --> 00:21:00,058 Honey? 339 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:06,774 I'm immensely proud of my first three books. 340 00:21:08,026 --> 00:21:09,194 As well you should be. 341 00:21:10,653 --> 00:21:13,531 -You thought they were trite. -I meant trite in its… 342 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,410 Best sense. As in the phrase, 343 00:21:16,994 --> 00:21:17,995 "trite and true." 344 00:21:23,042 --> 00:21:26,142 -What about saccharine? -I love saccharine. Use it every day. 345 00:21:28,006 --> 00:21:30,300 I'm glad you like saccharine, darling. 346 00:21:31,468 --> 00:21:34,721 Because there's no way you're getting any Honey. 347 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:40,937 Good night, Frasier. 348 00:21:45,483 --> 00:21:46,485 Honey, I… 349 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,613 I'm sorry. I really am. 350 00:21:51,865 --> 00:21:55,452 Couldn't we try one of your forgiveness exercises? 351 00:21:56,704 --> 00:21:57,705 Good night, Frasier. 352 00:21:58,539 --> 00:21:59,540 Hug? 353 00:22:01,542 --> 00:22:05,296 A poet once said something about the world that applies to us. 354 00:22:06,423 --> 00:22:09,301 "It ends not with a bang, but with a whimper." 355 00:22:10,302 --> 00:22:11,595 [WHIMPERING] 356 00:22:16,308 --> 00:22:17,435 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 357 00:22:17,519 --> 00:22:20,017 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 358 00:22:20,101 --> 00:22:22,274 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 359 00:22:22,816 --> 00:22:24,442 Quite stylish. 360 00:22:24,526 --> 00:22:26,778 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 361 00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:29,489 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 362 00:22:29,573 --> 00:22:31,617 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 363 00:22:31,701 --> 00:22:33,285 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 364 00:22:33,369 --> 00:22:36,581 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 365 00:22:37,708 --> 00:22:39,876 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 366 00:22:40,377 --> 00:22:41,295 Good night!