1 00:00:02,207 --> 00:00:04,209 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:10,799 --> 00:00:13,259 FRASIER: Hello, Steven, I'm listening. 3 00:00:13,343 --> 00:00:15,887 STEVEN [ON PHONE]: My wife, Tracy, and I are having a baby, 4 00:00:15,971 --> 00:00:18,014 and I know we're getting a little ahead of ourselves, 5 00:00:18,098 --> 00:00:19,724 but there seems to be different advice 6 00:00:19,808 --> 00:00:23,103 about whether it's okay to let your kid climb into bed with you in the morning. 7 00:00:23,187 --> 00:00:26,398 Ah. Stop right there, Steven. It's okay. 8 00:00:26,482 --> 00:00:29,901 All relationships require that kind of close and undivided attention. 9 00:00:29,985 --> 00:00:32,154 -Isn't that so, Roz? -Uh-huh. 10 00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:38,743 But what if you and your wife enjoy making love in the mornings? 11 00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:42,498 Oh. Trust me, after the baby comes, that won't be an issue anymore. 12 00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:49,546 This is Dr. Frasier Crane on KACL. We'll be back after these messages. 13 00:00:50,506 --> 00:00:52,716 Roz, how can you be reading now? 14 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,345 It's something I picked up in elementary school, and it stuck. 15 00:00:57,846 --> 00:01:01,641 -What is so captivating? -Slow Tango in South Seattle. 16 00:01:01,725 --> 00:01:04,686 Oh, God, not you too. Every woman I see is carrying that book. 17 00:01:04,770 --> 00:01:08,356 Because it's impossible to put down. Read the first paragraph. 18 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,982 I guarantee you'll be hooked. 19 00:01:12,568 --> 00:01:13,861 "There are tangos 20 00:01:14,737 --> 00:01:17,656 "that come flowing from the wine-colored sea…" 21 00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:18,615 [ROZ SIGHS] 22 00:01:18,699 --> 00:01:21,202 "…from the rust of a hundred sunken ships." 23 00:01:22,245 --> 00:01:23,871 This is one of those dances." 24 00:01:25,122 --> 00:01:25,957 Well? 25 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:27,917 There are books… 26 00:01:28,876 --> 00:01:30,628 That make your stomach rumble 27 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,799 and lurch and thrust your lunch ever upward. 28 00:01:36,425 --> 00:01:38,135 This is one of those books. 29 00:01:40,638 --> 00:01:44,224 -You men are all alike. You have no soul. -Oh, please. 30 00:01:44,308 --> 00:01:48,228 Except for this one, the future Mr. Roz Doyle, Thomas Jay Fallow. 31 00:01:48,312 --> 00:01:50,814 -Oh, my God, it's him. -Do you know him? 32 00:01:50,898 --> 00:01:53,817 Yes. He used to drop into a neighborhood bar 33 00:01:53,901 --> 00:01:55,235 I frequented back in Boston. 34 00:01:55,319 --> 00:01:58,447 He's a bit pretentious, though. He stuck out like a sore thumb. 35 00:02:00,825 --> 00:02:03,035 You used to drink with Thomas Jay Fallow? 36 00:02:03,119 --> 00:02:05,537 Well, actually, I spent most of my time 37 00:02:05,621 --> 00:02:07,831 helping him get through his writer's block. 38 00:02:07,915 --> 00:02:11,115 In the future, I'll remember to use my powers for good, not evil. 39 00:02:12,336 --> 00:02:13,962 I don't care what you think. 40 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:17,549 He's coming here to the station tomorrow to be on Amber Edwards' Book Chat, 41 00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:18,967 and you're going to introduce us. 42 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:22,095 No, I'll have to tell him how much I liked his book. 43 00:02:22,179 --> 00:02:24,181 You know how hard it is to lie to someone's face. 44 00:02:24,265 --> 00:02:29,728 No, it's easy for someone as bright and charming and articulate as you. 45 00:02:29,812 --> 00:02:31,647 Well, perhaps you're right. 46 00:02:33,733 --> 00:02:34,942 See how easy it is? 47 00:02:41,198 --> 00:02:42,449 [EDDIE GROWLING] 48 00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:43,409 DAPHNE: Eight… 49 00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:46,245 Nine… 50 00:02:46,329 --> 00:02:49,540 -Stop it, Eddie. -Oh, he just wants to play, huh, boy? 51 00:02:49,624 --> 00:02:53,836 Yeah, well, therapy is not a game. Stop it! Stop it, I said! 52 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,546 [DOORBELL RINGS] 53 00:02:55,630 --> 00:02:59,216 If he keeps this up, there's no point in us going on with these exercises. 54 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,384 Attaboy. 55 00:03:02,970 --> 00:03:05,097 -Hello, Dr. Crane. -Hello, Daphne. 56 00:03:05,181 --> 00:03:08,308 -Hey, Niles. -Ah, doing your exercises. 57 00:03:08,392 --> 00:03:10,853 Yes, and if someone doesn't let us get on with them, 58 00:03:10,937 --> 00:03:12,897 he's gonna get a spank on his fanny. 59 00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:25,409 Don't let me… 60 00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:27,286 Unless you want to. 61 00:03:29,704 --> 00:03:30,705 What's up? 62 00:03:30,789 --> 00:03:33,833 Ah, well. When I brought you a beer in your room the other day, 63 00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:37,169 I couldn't help but notice you had pictures of Frasier and Frederick 64 00:03:37,253 --> 00:03:40,882 and an autographed one from someone named Ken Griffey Jr., but… 65 00:03:42,926 --> 00:03:45,136 None of Maris and me, so I brought you this. 66 00:03:45,845 --> 00:03:47,097 Oh, gee, thanks. 67 00:03:48,014 --> 00:03:51,642 What's Maris doing wearing jodhpurs? She hasn't taken up horse riding, has she? 68 00:03:51,726 --> 00:03:55,104 No, she wanted to, but her little quadriceps are so tight 69 00:03:55,188 --> 00:03:58,488 she's incapable of straddling anything larger than a Border collie. 70 00:04:03,446 --> 00:04:04,614 There you go. 71 00:04:06,032 --> 00:04:09,535 -I can't believe this. -What are you yapping about? 72 00:04:09,619 --> 00:04:13,414 This… This book. It's written by a man I knew. 73 00:04:13,498 --> 00:04:15,082 He's taken an incident from my own life, 74 00:04:15,166 --> 00:04:19,211 something I shared with him in confidence, and he's turned it into this trash. 75 00:04:19,295 --> 00:04:22,382 Slow Tango? I've just started reading that. 76 00:04:23,008 --> 00:04:26,344 You mean to tell me that young man is based on you, Dr. Crane? 77 00:04:27,012 --> 00:04:31,307 Yes, he is. But did Thomas Jay Fallow have the grace to thank me? No! 78 00:04:31,391 --> 00:04:34,727 -Not even in the acknowledgments! -What's it about? 79 00:04:34,811 --> 00:04:38,189 -That is not important. -It's about his first time. 80 00:04:40,191 --> 00:04:43,486 -Thank you, Daphne. -Your first time doing what? 81 00:04:47,574 --> 00:04:49,159 Changing a flat tire. 82 00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:51,744 Oh. 83 00:04:51,828 --> 00:04:54,956 So this whole book's about the night you conceived Frederick. 84 00:04:56,666 --> 00:05:00,586 Very amusing, Dad. You'll be happy to know that was not my first time. 85 00:05:00,670 --> 00:05:02,797 I'm happy to know it wasn't your only time. 86 00:05:05,925 --> 00:05:09,929 -Who was this charitable lass? -That is not important. 87 00:05:10,013 --> 00:05:13,015 -His piano teacher. -His piano teacher? 88 00:05:13,099 --> 00:05:14,434 Thank you again, Daphne! 89 00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:19,605 It's not like it's a secret. It's all there in black and white. 90 00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:22,066 About your awkward teenage lunging 91 00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:25,153 and how you used to call your chest hair your "rug of love." 92 00:05:27,906 --> 00:05:30,741 Not all of it's true. He did take some literary license. 93 00:05:30,825 --> 00:05:34,495 Then you're not really able to bring a woman to hidden realms of ecstasy 94 00:05:34,579 --> 00:05:36,790 with your panther-like prowess? 95 00:05:38,041 --> 00:05:39,542 Well, that part he got right. 96 00:05:41,669 --> 00:05:45,673 Boy, this really fries me, that woman taking advantage of my kid. 97 00:05:45,757 --> 00:05:48,299 I was putting out 10 bucks a week for piano lessons 98 00:05:48,383 --> 00:05:50,183 so you could get your hedge trimmed. 99 00:05:52,971 --> 00:05:56,349 Wait a minute. We're not talking about Ms. Warner? 100 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,727 This wasn't going on during your lessons too? 101 00:05:59,895 --> 00:06:02,522 No, while Frasier was getting his Rachmaninoffs, 102 00:06:02,606 --> 00:06:04,066 I was studying music. 103 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,235 FRASIER: Now, look! 104 00:06:08,195 --> 00:06:11,657 This was not some tawdry older woman lusting after young flesh. 105 00:06:13,450 --> 00:06:15,244 Clarice and I cared for each other. 106 00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:18,247 She showed me a world I'd never known. 107 00:06:19,998 --> 00:06:22,417 Wouldn't know again for six and a half years. 108 00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:31,468 You know, it's true. As Mr. Fallow put it, she saw your sensitive, poetic side, 109 00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:35,847 and you couldn't help noticing the way her ripe, heaving bosom 110 00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:38,391 would brushed your cheek when she reached for the metronome. 111 00:06:38,475 --> 00:06:41,228 How can a man who drank so heavily remember so much? 112 00:06:44,189 --> 00:06:49,027 -Yet he forgot who told him the story. -He'll get a little reminder today. 113 00:06:49,111 --> 00:06:50,028 [DOOR CLOSES] 114 00:06:50,779 --> 00:06:53,532 -No, no! -I want it! Give it to me! 115 00:06:54,575 --> 00:06:56,285 "I budded when you kissed me. 116 00:06:57,077 --> 00:06:58,620 "I withered when you left me." 117 00:06:59,496 --> 00:07:03,292 I bloomed a few months while you loved me." 118 00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:07,921 -Would you calm down? -Not until I've exacted my pound of flesh. 119 00:07:08,005 --> 00:07:09,547 Wait till I get my book signed. 120 00:07:09,631 --> 00:07:12,426 -Let me. It's my story. -Stop it! 121 00:07:13,385 --> 00:07:17,347 Roz. You haven't told anyone? They'd have a field day with me. 122 00:07:17,431 --> 00:07:20,642 Frasier, give me credit for a little discretion, will you? 123 00:07:20,726 --> 00:07:21,977 Hey, piano boy. 124 00:07:22,936 --> 00:07:24,479 Way to pound those ivories. 125 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:31,945 Bulldog. Listen. It's imperative that this not be commonly known. 126 00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,488 Hey, Doc, it's no big deal. 127 00:07:36,283 --> 00:07:39,983 Anything for you? I've still got some feeling on the other side of my head. 128 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,041 Look, I had a similar experience when I was 16. 129 00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:48,378 With an older woman who introduced me to the mysteries of love. 130 00:07:48,879 --> 00:07:50,279 Of course, she was a hooker. 131 00:07:51,298 --> 00:07:53,967 Hey. It was a birthday present from my dad, okay? 132 00:07:55,802 --> 00:07:58,138 -Wanna know the ironic thing, Doc? -Hmm? 133 00:07:58,222 --> 00:07:59,473 All I wanted was a bike. 134 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:08,689 Oh, come on. How could you expect me not to tell anybody? 135 00:08:08,773 --> 00:08:11,275 You can't keep something like that all bottled up. 136 00:08:11,359 --> 00:08:12,985 I only told one person. 137 00:08:13,069 --> 00:08:15,529 -Hello, Frasier, Roz. -Hi. 138 00:08:15,613 --> 00:08:20,242 Oh. I was finishing my restaurant review for my show this afternoon 139 00:08:20,326 --> 00:08:24,621 when I came up with the perfect sandwich named after you at Rosenthal's Deli: 140 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,999 Frasier Crane's Double Decker. 141 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:31,170 It consists of aged pheasant, spring chicken, and plenty of tongue. 142 00:08:33,005 --> 00:08:38,302 Ah! Listen. "I wept as our bodies made the music of love." 143 00:08:38,386 --> 00:08:41,138 "I'm your rhapsody. Play me." 144 00:08:41,222 --> 00:08:44,308 "Crescendo, my young maestro, crescendo." 145 00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:48,937 "My vessel yearns to dock in the magnificence of your harbor." 146 00:08:49,021 --> 00:08:50,898 [BULLDOG LAUGHS] 147 00:08:50,982 --> 00:08:52,632 BULLDOG: That's not in the book. 148 00:08:54,819 --> 00:08:56,820 One thing I must ask you, 149 00:08:56,904 --> 00:09:00,782 what was your inspiration for this love story? 150 00:09:00,866 --> 00:09:03,119 Ooh, ooh! It's his last chance. 151 00:09:03,703 --> 00:09:05,663 It was actually given to me 152 00:09:06,539 --> 00:09:07,372 by God. 153 00:09:07,456 --> 00:09:08,749 By God?! 154 00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:13,004 Do you believe his grandiosity? I'm God, and he knows it! 155 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:18,383 We'll be back with the divinely inspired Thomas Jay Fallow 156 00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:20,720 right after this station break. 157 00:09:22,054 --> 00:09:26,600 Excuse me. I want to call my husband and see if he can take a long lunch. 158 00:09:31,689 --> 00:09:34,317 Thomas Jay Fallow. 159 00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:36,527 Frasier! 160 00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:40,322 Frasier Crane! I can't believe it! 161 00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:43,492 I see my name hasn't entirely escaped your sievelike memory. 162 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:45,536 Why would it? 163 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,622 It didn't make it into your acknowledgments, 164 00:09:48,706 --> 00:09:50,416 you ego maniacal thief! 165 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,209 You read my book. 166 00:09:54,837 --> 00:09:56,797 I didn't have to read it. I lived it. 167 00:09:57,298 --> 00:10:00,425 Not that anybody would know that from your acknowledgments. 168 00:10:00,509 --> 00:10:02,344 You mention everyone from your kindergarten teacher 169 00:10:02,428 --> 00:10:03,971 to the man who designed the typeface, 170 00:10:04,055 --> 00:10:05,472 but no mention of me, no. 171 00:10:05,556 --> 00:10:08,350 I only gave you the story which you have merchandised 172 00:10:08,434 --> 00:10:10,686 into this million-dollar treacle machine! 173 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:14,940 I'm finished now. 174 00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:18,861 I'm so sorry. 175 00:10:20,613 --> 00:10:23,074 I don't know how I could have been so thoughtless. 176 00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:25,075 [WHIMPERING] 177 00:10:30,246 --> 00:10:32,874 -I owe you everything! -Oh, no, no, no. 178 00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:36,127 -No. -Oh, my God. 179 00:10:36,211 --> 00:10:39,380 Frasier, what did you do to the poor man? 180 00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:43,343 -What happened? -Frasier made him cry. 181 00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:53,102 NILES: Maris is reading Slow Tango in South Seattle. 182 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,854 I think it's put thoughts in her head. 183 00:10:54,938 --> 00:10:58,358 I found her cooing over the college student who skims the koi pond. 184 00:10:59,818 --> 00:11:03,154 -I wouldn't concern myself. -It's just innocent flirting? 185 00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:05,615 No. I just wouldn't concern myself. 186 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,286 [DOOR OPENS] 187 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,830 -Hey, Frasier. -Hi, Dad, Niles. 188 00:11:12,914 --> 00:11:14,165 NILES: Congratulations. 189 00:11:14,249 --> 00:11:16,959 Maris was listening to Book Chat during her seaweed wrap 190 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,795 and heard Thomas Jay Fallow acknowledge his debt to you. 191 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:23,090 Yes. I had a chat with him this afternoon. 192 00:11:23,174 --> 00:11:24,676 Did he seem properly contrite? 193 00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:27,846 -I made him cry. -That's my boy! 194 00:11:30,473 --> 00:11:32,073 You must be feeling pretty good. 195 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:37,981 Actually, Dad, the incident has left me strangely unsatisfied. 196 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:40,567 I still feel sort of empty. 197 00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:44,195 I've been turning it around in my mind all day. 198 00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:46,364 God, you kill me, you know? 199 00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:49,325 You got what you want, and you're still not happy. 200 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:53,037 Frasier, life is not hard. You make it hard. 201 00:11:53,121 --> 00:11:57,666 You don't let things happen and enjoy it. You analyze everything to death. 202 00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,920 You know, you could learn a big lesson from this dog here. 203 00:12:03,673 --> 00:12:06,176 You know what makes him happy? A sock. 204 00:12:07,719 --> 00:12:08,636 Come on, Eddie. 205 00:12:13,975 --> 00:12:17,978 Ignore him. What's troubling you goes deeper than your usual malaise. 206 00:12:18,062 --> 00:12:20,689 -DAPHNE: Shame on you! -What for? 207 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,818 What for? You just ran out on her. 208 00:12:23,902 --> 00:12:26,570 "Leaving her bed as empty as a swallow's nest 209 00:12:26,654 --> 00:12:28,239 after fall's first frost." 210 00:12:28,323 --> 00:12:29,908 And you ask me what for. 211 00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:36,747 Well, I'd just been accepted to Harvard. What was I gonna do? 212 00:12:36,831 --> 00:12:41,210 Oh. So you just leave in the night without so much as a kiss. 213 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:45,297 -You never said goodbye? -She was sleeping so peacefully. 214 00:12:47,090 --> 00:12:48,842 She had an early lesson. 215 00:12:51,512 --> 00:12:53,764 -I left a rose on her pillow. -[DOOR CLOSES] 216 00:12:54,348 --> 00:12:56,933 -Aha. -"Aha" what? 217 00:12:57,017 --> 00:13:00,354 -"Aha" this: I have a theory. -Why else would you say "aha"? 218 00:13:01,355 --> 00:13:05,483 No, no, no. You were angry at Thomas Fallow for failing to thank you 219 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,402 for your contribution to his life. 220 00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,113 Perhaps you're really angry at yourself. 221 00:13:10,197 --> 00:13:14,076 You never thanked Ms. Warner for the contribution to your life. 222 00:13:14,785 --> 00:13:17,370 I was only 17 years old. I'm sure she understood. 223 00:13:17,454 --> 00:13:18,956 Mm, perhaps she didn't. 224 00:13:19,915 --> 00:13:22,584 She was a vulnerable, lonely middle-aged woman. 225 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:26,129 It is possible that her feelings for you ran deeper than you realized, 226 00:13:26,213 --> 00:13:30,633 feelings you crushed when you disappeared without a thank-you or a goodbye. 227 00:13:30,717 --> 00:13:33,512 Yes, well, thank you and goodbye. 228 00:13:35,973 --> 00:13:36,807 All right. 229 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,602 Fine. I'll just leave you with this thought: 230 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:43,438 Your encounter with Fallow was unsatisfactory 231 00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,982 because it failed to provide you with closure. 232 00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:49,861 For that, you will have to make amends with Ms. Warner. Aha. 233 00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:00,455 Very funny, Dad! 234 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:07,462 FRASIER: "He had been a teenage Balboa, 235 00:14:08,005 --> 00:14:12,759 "an explorer of the rising pinnacles and gently curving slopes of my body." 236 00:14:13,802 --> 00:14:16,095 "And in one explosive burst of discovery," 237 00:14:16,179 --> 00:14:20,100 "he had staked claim to the Pacific Ocean that was my soul." 238 00:14:21,602 --> 00:14:23,061 "But now he was leaving," 239 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:28,734 "going, vanishing, like a solitary boat on the lonely horizon," 240 00:14:29,610 --> 00:14:33,447 "departing like a train rolling ceaselessly through the night," 241 00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:35,699 "exiting swiftly like…" 242 00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:50,881 "And so he was gone." 243 00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:06,395 "And now, in the cool of the evening, I play my piano," 244 00:15:07,438 --> 00:15:09,982 "and his last words resonate through the notes:" 245 00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:13,903 " 'I'll come back to you, my cherished one.' " 246 00:15:16,072 --> 00:15:17,156 "But he never did." 247 00:15:18,449 --> 00:15:21,493 "And all that remains of him are the withered petals" 248 00:15:21,577 --> 00:15:24,455 of the rose he left upon my pillow." 249 00:15:38,594 --> 00:15:40,596 ["THE BLUE DANUBE" PLAYING ON PIANO] 250 00:15:52,441 --> 00:15:53,401 Clarice. 251 00:15:54,819 --> 00:15:55,653 Time, 252 00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:57,988 subtle thief of youth. 253 00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,536 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 254 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,629 Hello. May I help you? 255 00:16:14,213 --> 00:16:16,298 -Ms. Warner? -Yes. 256 00:16:17,174 --> 00:16:18,008 I… 257 00:16:19,051 --> 00:16:20,261 I'm Frasier Crane. 258 00:16:21,846 --> 00:16:24,932 I'm sorry, my memory's not what it used to be. 259 00:16:25,558 --> 00:16:27,351 But please, come in. 260 00:16:29,061 --> 00:16:30,312 Would you like to sit down? 261 00:16:30,396 --> 00:16:32,523 Um, yes, I would. 262 00:16:33,232 --> 00:16:35,818 So… we know each other? 263 00:16:37,278 --> 00:16:38,112 Well… 264 00:16:39,739 --> 00:16:41,156 We were friends. 265 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,950 More than friends, actually. 266 00:16:44,034 --> 00:16:45,369 You really don't remember? 267 00:16:45,453 --> 00:16:46,704 I'm trying. 268 00:16:48,706 --> 00:16:50,499 You must have some recollection 269 00:16:51,792 --> 00:16:53,753 of a fair-haired boy outside your door? 270 00:16:54,295 --> 00:16:55,379 At the piano? 271 00:16:56,172 --> 00:16:57,173 On the piano? 272 00:17:01,260 --> 00:17:02,636 No, I'm sorry. 273 00:17:04,513 --> 00:17:07,433 Before the memories come flooding back to you… 274 00:17:10,311 --> 00:17:13,147 I should tell you we had a romance that, uh, 275 00:17:13,981 --> 00:17:15,941 didn't have the happiest of endings. 276 00:17:16,025 --> 00:17:16,859 Oh. 277 00:17:19,278 --> 00:17:20,278 That's why I'm here. 278 00:17:22,614 --> 00:17:25,866 Our last evening together, we walked through a summer storm, 279 00:17:25,950 --> 00:17:26,868 and I… 280 00:17:27,869 --> 00:17:30,121 Kissed the raindrops off your nose 281 00:17:30,622 --> 00:17:32,832 and promised we'd always be together. 282 00:17:35,543 --> 00:17:36,878 But I broke that promise. 283 00:17:38,213 --> 00:17:42,425 You helped a shy adolescent take his first steps to becoming a man, 284 00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:44,385 and how did I repay that kindness? 285 00:17:45,136 --> 00:17:47,763 By running off and leaving you with nothing but memories. 286 00:17:47,847 --> 00:17:49,766 And not many of those, either. 287 00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:53,603 Can you ever forgive me? 288 00:17:54,187 --> 00:17:56,355 Oh, you're so sweet. 289 00:17:56,439 --> 00:17:58,399 Of course I can forgive you. 290 00:17:58,483 --> 00:18:00,776 Thank you. Thank you. 291 00:18:00,860 --> 00:18:03,320 It's such a relief to get that off my chest. 292 00:18:03,404 --> 00:18:06,073 WOMAN: Mother? I'm going now! 293 00:18:06,157 --> 00:18:09,244 -You run along, Clarice. -Clarice? 294 00:18:10,411 --> 00:18:12,663 Oh, excuse me. 295 00:18:12,747 --> 00:18:16,209 Dear, this is Frasier Crane. 296 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,212 Apparently, we were quite an item once. 297 00:18:22,882 --> 00:18:24,300 Frasier Crane? 298 00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,262 What are you doing here? 299 00:18:28,012 --> 00:18:29,931 Obviously, making an enormous mistake. 300 00:18:33,476 --> 00:18:36,354 Mother, would you get us some iced tea, please? 301 00:18:37,981 --> 00:18:40,191 She's getting rid of me, but I'll be back. 302 00:18:44,696 --> 00:18:47,156 CLARICE: My God. 303 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,825 I can't believe you're here. 304 00:18:49,909 --> 00:18:53,037 -It's gotta be 20… -Twenty-five. 305 00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:56,040 Twenty-five years. 306 00:18:58,167 --> 00:18:59,919 And look at you. 307 00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:02,630 Look at you. You look incredible. 308 00:19:02,714 --> 00:19:04,591 Well, sure, compared to my mother. 309 00:19:06,509 --> 00:19:07,343 No. 310 00:19:09,429 --> 00:19:10,638 That's not what I mean. 311 00:19:12,015 --> 00:19:12,849 You look… 312 00:19:14,183 --> 00:19:16,895 -Stunning. -Well, thank you. 313 00:19:18,104 --> 00:19:22,650 And you, you've become a very handsome man. 314 00:19:23,735 --> 00:19:25,695 And successful too. 315 00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:27,488 Thank you. 316 00:19:32,035 --> 00:19:34,412 You're here because of that book, aren't you? 317 00:19:35,204 --> 00:19:38,832 Yes, and I'd like to apologize right off. Uh… 318 00:19:40,876 --> 00:19:43,628 I told that story to Mr. Fallow in confidence. 319 00:19:43,712 --> 00:19:45,296 It was never meant to be in print. 320 00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:47,883 There's no need to apologize. 321 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:52,262 That was a lovely time in my life. 322 00:19:53,805 --> 00:19:55,807 It was nice to relive it. 323 00:20:03,357 --> 00:20:04,191 So… 324 00:20:06,026 --> 00:20:07,318 Are you married? 325 00:20:07,402 --> 00:20:09,529 Divorced. You? 326 00:20:10,155 --> 00:20:11,239 I never married. 327 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:17,079 I came to apologize about more than just the book. 328 00:20:18,914 --> 00:20:21,708 I never felt quite right about the way I left things. 329 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:27,463 I abandoned you. It was selfish and cowardly. 330 00:20:27,547 --> 00:20:31,134 Oh, Frasier, relax. 331 00:20:32,052 --> 00:20:34,262 I always felt guilty for shortchanging you 332 00:20:34,346 --> 00:20:35,722 on your music lessons. 333 00:20:40,894 --> 00:20:42,104 Do you still keep it up? 334 00:20:47,109 --> 00:20:48,402 Oh, the piano? Yeah. 335 00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:51,405 Yes. 336 00:20:52,781 --> 00:20:57,786 I was so nervous about coming here, and now it feels like old times. 337 00:20:59,705 --> 00:21:01,999 -Sit at middle C. -Ah. 338 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:05,794 Then the metronome. 339 00:21:06,586 --> 00:21:08,547 [METRONOME TICKING] 340 00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:15,762 I… Well… Maybe I should get going. 341 00:21:16,471 --> 00:21:17,389 Uh… 342 00:21:18,974 --> 00:21:20,600 Clarice. Uh… 343 00:21:21,435 --> 00:21:24,479 At the risk of sounding forward, would you have a coffee with me? 344 00:21:24,563 --> 00:21:27,273 Aw, thanks, but I'll have to say no. 345 00:21:27,357 --> 00:21:30,569 -The age difference is no longer an issue. -[KNOCKING ON DOOR] 346 00:21:31,903 --> 00:21:34,614 -Hi, honey. Ready to go? -I'll be right out. 347 00:21:41,747 --> 00:21:43,707 -Are you and he… -Uh-huh. 348 00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:46,459 I wasn't interested in 40-year-old men then, 349 00:21:46,543 --> 00:21:47,961 and I guess I'm still not. 350 00:21:49,963 --> 00:21:51,763 It's great to see you again, though. 351 00:21:52,507 --> 00:21:53,592 Bye, Mom! 352 00:21:58,429 --> 00:22:00,639 Good. Now we're alone. 353 00:22:06,103 --> 00:22:09,356 See what I did? I put a raindrop on my nose. 354 00:22:16,197 --> 00:22:17,280 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 355 00:22:17,364 --> 00:22:19,974 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin' ♪ 356 00:22:20,058 --> 00:22:22,328 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 357 00:22:23,037 --> 00:22:24,246 Oh, my. 358 00:22:24,330 --> 00:22:26,749 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 359 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:29,251 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 360 00:22:29,335 --> 00:22:31,420 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 361 00:22:31,504 --> 00:22:32,921 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 362 00:22:33,005 --> 00:22:36,592 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 363 00:22:37,426 --> 00:22:39,637 ♪ They're callin' again ♪ 364 00:22:40,137 --> 00:22:41,972 Good night, Seattle, we love you!