1
00:00:08,889 --> 00:00:12,267
Until tomorrow then, this is
Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you…

2
00:00:13,851 --> 00:00:15,310
Oh, yes.

3
00:00:15,394 --> 00:00:18,772
Be sure to tune in later
for the final broadcast

4
00:00:18,856 --> 00:00:22,734
of KACL's lovable
curmudgeon, Chester Ludgate.

5
00:00:23,985 --> 00:00:27,947
Most of us here at the station were
surprised to hear that he was retiring.

6
00:00:28,031 --> 00:00:30,157
I, for one, thought he'd never leave.

7
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,703
-So should we order a pizza?
-Hmm? Sorry?

8
00:00:34,787 --> 00:00:38,205
Those PSAs you promised you'd
help me with are due tomorrow.

9
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,332
Oh, gosh, Roz, I really am sorry.

10
00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:44,920
It seems that Mrs. Delafield's daughter
is coming to join us as an intern.

11
00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:47,171
I promised Kenny I'd show her
around and take her to dinner.

12
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:49,549
So while I'm eating my
vending-machine dinner,

13
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:52,343
you'll be out having a gourmet
meal with some rich girl?

14
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,377
Oh, you can make anything sound unfair.

15
00:00:56,388 --> 00:00:57,597
-Hey, Doc.
-FRASIER: Kenny.

16
00:00:57,681 --> 00:00:59,182
Whom have we here?

17
00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:02,477
Dr. Frasier Crane, I'd like you
to meet Miss Poppy Delafield.

18
00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:03,978
Well, gotta run.

19
00:01:04,854 --> 00:01:09,900
Poppy, what a pleasure to meet the
daughter of our beloved station owner.

20
00:01:09,984 --> 00:01:13,361
Well, so, what brings you to KACL?

21
00:01:13,445 --> 00:01:16,906
Well, I was in Paris last month…
Or was it Madrid?

22
00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:18,908
No, Paris… and I said to myself,

23
00:01:18,992 --> 00:01:21,410
[DEEP VOICE] "That's enough
gallivanting for you, young lady.

24
00:01:21,494 --> 00:01:22,745
It's time you get a job."

25
00:01:22,829 --> 00:01:25,122
[NORMAL VOICE] So I flew
home and asked my mother, Mommy,

26
00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:26,582
if I could nose around

27
00:01:26,666 --> 00:01:29,709
and see if some job spoke to
me at one of our TV stations

28
00:01:29,793 --> 00:01:34,256
or radio stations or newspapers.
But not her brewery, thank you very much.

29
00:01:35,924 --> 00:01:39,384
So here I am.
Sleeves rolled up, ready to learn.

30
00:01:39,468 --> 00:01:41,803
-Good. Yes.
-Is this where you do your show?

31
00:01:41,887 --> 00:01:45,598
Of course it is. There's your mike
right in front of me. Earth to Poppy.

32
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:50,811
Oh, there's Gil.
I met him earlier. Hi, Gil.

33
00:01:50,895 --> 00:01:52,355
Um…

34
00:01:53,397 --> 00:01:57,108
Nice man.
I think it's marvelous what you do.

35
00:01:57,192 --> 00:01:59,110
To really help people.

36
00:01:59,194 --> 00:02:02,613
Unlike the psychiatrists I've been to.
Both of them had some sort of…

37
00:02:02,697 --> 00:02:04,156
I don't know, narcolepsy.

38
00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:09,203
I sympathize, but if you can't
stay awake, don't be a psychiatrist.

39
00:02:09,287 --> 00:02:10,912
But to do what you do,

40
00:02:10,996 --> 00:02:13,873
to face that microphone day after day

41
00:02:13,957 --> 00:02:18,294
and know that for the next three hours
you'll have to talk and talk and talk.

42
00:02:18,378 --> 00:02:20,004
I could not do it.

43
00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:23,507
I would freeze. Literally freeze.

44
00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:24,716
[PHONE RINGS]

45
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,510
-I think…
-Excuse me. Hello?

46
00:02:28,136 --> 00:02:29,345
Yes?

47
00:02:29,429 --> 00:02:33,016
Yes, Dad, all right, calm down, calm down.
Was there much blood?

48
00:02:33,558 --> 00:02:34,767
Oh, my gosh.

49
00:02:34,851 --> 00:02:37,393
All right, I'll be there as soon as I can.
Hang on.

50
00:02:37,477 --> 00:02:40,271
I'm terribly sorry.
There's a small emergency at home.

51
00:02:40,355 --> 00:02:42,148
I'll pass on dinner. Rain check?

52
00:02:42,232 --> 00:02:44,983
-We were having such a nice chat.
-Yes, well.

53
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:47,778
Oh, this is Roz Doyle, my producer.
You know, Roz,

54
00:02:47,862 --> 00:02:52,365
I'll gladly do those promos if you would
be so kind as to take Poppy to dinner

55
00:02:52,449 --> 00:02:54,200
-and answer her questions.
-Sure,

56
00:02:54,284 --> 00:02:56,786
if you don't get bored
listening to me drone on.

57
00:02:56,870 --> 00:02:59,414
Oh, I don't think there's
much chance of that.

58
00:03:06,211 --> 00:03:08,297
Eddie, come on, get in here.

59
00:03:09,213 --> 00:03:10,513
What the hell's happening?

60
00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:15,761
Remember when Eddie killed
his first rat, how proud I was?

61
00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:17,178
-I told you that story?
-FRASIER: Yes.

62
00:03:17,262 --> 00:03:19,890
If you'd had a guitar,
you'd have written a ballad.

63
00:03:21,058 --> 00:03:23,560
We were down in the
basement and I saw another rat.

64
00:03:23,644 --> 00:03:26,854
I said, "Go get him, boy."
So as he picked him up, in his teeth,

65
00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:30,023
shaking the life out of him,
I hear this little bell tinkling.

66
00:03:30,107 --> 00:03:33,277
And I thought, well, that's funny.
Rats don't wear bells.

67
00:03:33,361 --> 00:03:36,028
Oh, God.
Little Robbie Greenberg's missing hamster.

68
00:03:36,112 --> 00:03:39,156
Yes, I read that flyer.
He was offering a 10-dollar reward.

69
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:43,201
Well, the most we can claim
at this point is about 6.50.

70
00:03:43,285 --> 00:03:46,162
Oh, my. You know what,
Dad, this is actually your fault.

71
00:03:46,246 --> 00:03:50,041
If you hadn't encouraged him, he
wouldn't be murdering hamsters.

72
00:03:50,125 --> 00:03:52,751
What're you talking about?
We don't know it was Eddie.

73
00:03:52,835 --> 00:03:55,921
He might have had a heart
attack or some kind of seizure

74
00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:58,299
when he bounced off the boiler.

75
00:03:58,383 --> 00:04:00,217
[DOORBELL RINGS]

76
00:04:01,593 --> 00:04:03,011
-Niles.
-Prepare to whoop

77
00:04:03,095 --> 00:04:05,221
like a sweepstakes winner. Cancel dinner.

78
00:04:05,305 --> 00:04:08,098
I've scored two seats, front
row, for the event of the season.

79
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:11,351
-You mean? But… Niles.
-Yes. I know.

80
00:04:11,435 --> 00:04:15,272
I love it when they do it this way.
I can pretend it's a Seahawks game.

81
00:04:15,815 --> 00:04:20,610
My God, Niles, it's for the
Chinceria Bartori concert.

82
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,779
It's been sold out for months.
How did you score these?

83
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,655
I simply phoned the box office and said,

84
00:04:25,739 --> 00:04:29,243
"This is Niles Crane, the new
arts critic for <i>The Monocle.</i>"

85
00:04:30,327 --> 00:04:33,913
<i>The Monocle?</i> isn't that that
magazine they hand out to rich people

86
00:04:33,997 --> 00:04:37,875
-in the snootiest apartment buildings?
-And the snootiest hotels.

87
00:04:37,959 --> 00:04:39,418
How did this happen, Niles?

88
00:04:39,502 --> 00:04:42,302
I was at a party thrown by
the publisher, Olga Swarbreck.

89
00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:45,506
The pretentious fop who had
the job before me was there too,

90
00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:48,134
spouting sheer drivel
about Leonard Bernstein.

91
00:04:48,218 --> 00:04:50,469
Being polite, I kept my tongue sheathed

92
00:04:50,553 --> 00:04:54,306
until he referred to Bernstein's
conducting as "overrated."

93
00:04:54,390 --> 00:04:57,351
-I assume you pounced.
-Like a ninja.

94
00:05:00,854 --> 00:05:02,104
By the time I'd finished,

95
00:05:02,188 --> 00:05:05,691
Olga could see I was a far better
critic than that arrogant poseur.

96
00:05:05,775 --> 00:05:06,942
She fired him there?

97
00:05:07,026 --> 00:05:09,486
He was leaving anyway
for his junior year abroad.

98
00:05:10,404 --> 00:05:13,448
Well, I suppose that
congratulations are in order.

99
00:05:13,532 --> 00:05:15,741
Who would have thought, my little brother

100
00:05:15,825 --> 00:05:17,785
a professional music critic.

101
00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:21,664
Not just music. I can review anything
I want. Theater, dance, art exhibits.

102
00:05:21,748 --> 00:05:23,539
-You don't say?
-Yes, from now on,

103
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,668
wherever we go, I'll be armed
with my trusty pad and penlight.

104
00:05:26,752 --> 00:05:29,170
Wherever we go? What fun.

105
00:05:29,254 --> 00:05:32,714
Yes. I have to take a damp
cloth to these opera glasses,

106
00:05:32,798 --> 00:05:36,301
although I don't know what we'll
use them for sitting in the front row.

107
00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:39,971
Unless it's to scan the faces
of the jealous people behind us.

108
00:05:41,765 --> 00:05:46,602
So are you sure you're okay
with Niles getting this critic job?

109
00:05:46,686 --> 00:05:49,604
-Why wouldn't I be?
-Come on, I know what it's like.

110
00:05:49,688 --> 00:05:52,732
One gets something the other one
doesn't, it's like when you were kids.

111
00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:55,527
Niles had a telescope,
you had to have a telescope.

112
00:05:55,611 --> 00:05:57,611
You got that funny-looking guitar,

113
00:05:57,695 --> 00:05:59,405
-Niles…
-it was called a lute.

114
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,157
Yeah, oh, yeah, okay.

115
00:06:01,783 --> 00:06:04,701
Dad, believe me, I do not
envy Niles his critic's job.

116
00:06:04,785 --> 00:06:07,954
As kids, we would aggravate
the situation by flaunting our toys

117
00:06:08,038 --> 00:06:11,791
in each other's faces. We're much
more mature than that now. All right?

118
00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:14,292
Niles, you know what?
It's about time we got going.

119
00:06:14,376 --> 00:06:17,337
-We don't wanna be late.
-Don't be silly. I'm press now.

120
00:06:17,421 --> 00:06:18,964
They'll hold it.

121
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,515
POPPY: So that's how it ends.
B-minus average,

122
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:33,435
ten extra pounds and still no boyfriend.

123
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,188
I see Poppy's having a little party.

124
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,566
That is not a party.
That's a hostage situation.

125
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,652
Thank God today is her last day.

126
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,196
This morning she cornered
me by the coffee machine

127
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,489
and told me her whole life story.

128
00:06:48,573 --> 00:06:50,658
I wanted to grab her
by the throat and say,

129
00:06:50,742 --> 00:06:53,119
"What am I, your biographer? Shut up."

130
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:55,912
Dear God, I thought I'd never break free.

131
00:06:55,996 --> 00:06:59,750
I feel like a mongoose at
the mercy of a chatty cobra.

132
00:07:03,795 --> 00:07:07,381
Oh, hello, all.
I see you already have the <i>Times.</i>

133
00:07:07,465 --> 00:07:09,050
I'm quoted there today.

134
00:07:10,051 --> 00:07:11,177
-In the <i>Times?</i>
-NILES: Yes.

135
00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:13,428
It's in this ad for Shaw's <i>Saint Joan.</i>

136
00:07:13,512 --> 00:07:16,181
" 'Incandescent.'
Niles Crane, <i>The Monocle.</i>"

137
00:07:16,598 --> 00:07:21,226
Wow, excuse me while I go
tell all my friends I know you.

138
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,062
[NILES CHUCKLING]

139
00:07:24,564 --> 00:07:25,647
[YAWNS]

140
00:07:25,731 --> 00:07:28,900
Forgive me. Olga and I
were up till all hours at a party

141
00:07:28,984 --> 00:07:30,861
for the Royal Shakespeare Company.

142
00:07:33,029 --> 00:07:35,907
I'm rubbing some pretty
impressive shoulders these days.

143
00:07:39,577 --> 00:07:41,745
To think it's because
I have a small column.

144
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,874
That would certainly be
the Freudian interpretation.

145
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:50,503
If I were to review that attitude,

146
00:07:50,587 --> 00:07:53,255
I'd say it was a chilling
portrait of malice and envy.

147
00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:57,676
I'm not envious that you get to
spout off in that glorified cat-box liner.

148
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:02,846
You just can't stand it that my
opinion means more than yours.

149
00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:06,058
That the arts community looks
to me for my insight, my approval,

150
00:08:06,142 --> 00:08:07,601
-my thumbs up.
-We both know

151
00:08:07,685 --> 00:08:09,854
what your thumb's up these days.

152
00:08:11,730 --> 00:08:15,108
That's a good one, Frasier.
Perhaps you should use it in your column.

153
00:08:15,192 --> 00:08:17,110
Oh, that's right, you don't have one.

154
00:08:20,863 --> 00:08:23,990
That smug jackass.

155
00:08:24,074 --> 00:08:27,618
You have a radio show. If you wanted
to say what you thought of a play,

156
00:08:27,702 --> 00:08:31,497
-who's stopping you?
-It's not the same thing, Roz.

157
00:08:32,165 --> 00:08:33,999
You don't get free tickets.

158
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:35,750
You don't get quoted.

159
00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:37,544
Forget hobnobbing.

160
00:08:38,212 --> 00:08:42,173
My God, this competition between
you and your brother is sick.

161
00:08:42,257 --> 00:08:44,091
Your obsessive one-up man ship.

162
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:47,761
You're both gonna end up bitter
old cranks like Chester Ludgate.

163
00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:49,596
-Good point, Roz.
-Thank you.

164
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,016
Chester's time slot is free.
I could do my own arts show.

165
00:08:53,642 --> 00:08:57,937
Kenny, Kenny, listen, Roz just
had the most wonderful idea.

166
00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:01,273
-Yeah, Doc?
-What do you say about yours truly

167
00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:05,069
hosting a bouncy little show
about the arts in Seattle?

168
00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:08,113
Culture.

169
00:09:08,656 --> 00:09:10,031
Wow.

170
00:09:10,698 --> 00:09:14,577
It's a great idea. Let me chew
on that and I'll get back to you.

171
00:09:14,661 --> 00:09:16,620
Great. You see, Roz, he loved your idea.

172
00:09:16,704 --> 00:09:18,705
-That was not my idea.
-It was too.

173
00:09:18,789 --> 00:09:20,123
-It was not.
-KENNY: Look, Doc,

174
00:09:20,207 --> 00:09:22,667
I feel kind of bad about what I just did.

175
00:09:22,751 --> 00:09:27,254
I let you think that there was a chance
that I might let you do this show and…

176
00:09:27,338 --> 00:09:28,547
There's none.

177
00:09:30,341 --> 00:09:31,509
No chance at all?

178
00:09:32,176 --> 00:09:33,802
-No.
-FRASIER: Oh.

179
00:09:33,886 --> 00:09:37,680
I mean, come on, Doc, you, culture, opera.

180
00:09:37,764 --> 00:09:39,557
Who's listening?

181
00:09:39,641 --> 00:09:40,934
Not me.

182
00:09:45,604 --> 00:09:48,190
Damn. I think my show's a good idea.

183
00:09:48,274 --> 00:09:50,275
Kenny's the station manager. He doesn't.

184
00:09:50,359 --> 00:09:52,568
Yes, but frankly, I
didn't like his attitude.

185
00:09:52,652 --> 00:09:56,488
He acts like he owns the station.
But he doesn't. Someone else does.

186
00:09:56,572 --> 00:09:59,200
-Poppy.
-The next best thing. Her mother.

187
00:09:59,284 --> 00:10:00,575
-No, Poppy.
-Oh, right.

188
00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:03,119
-POPPY: Hi, Frasier.
-Hello, Poppy.

189
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,330
-Gosh, would you care to join me?
-POPPY: I can't.

190
00:10:05,414 --> 00:10:08,707
Mommy's taking me shopping.
She spoils me something horrible.

191
00:10:08,791 --> 00:10:12,753
I guess it's an only-child thing.
Anything I want, I just have to ask.

192
00:10:12,837 --> 00:10:15,714
Anything you want.
Oh, well, isn't that interesting?

193
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:18,507
You know, Poppy,
perhaps, uh, we could, uh,

194
00:10:18,591 --> 00:10:21,427
join each other for lunch
after your shopping spree.

195
00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:23,179
-I'd love it.
-Would you really?

196
00:10:23,263 --> 00:10:25,555
It just seems a shame,
you leaving the station

197
00:10:25,639 --> 00:10:27,766
and us never getting to know one another.

198
00:10:27,850 --> 00:10:29,267
It hasn't been easy.

199
00:10:29,351 --> 00:10:32,270
I mean, with you having those
dental appointments every day.

200
00:10:32,354 --> 00:10:36,357
Yes. Well, you know, let me walk you out.

201
00:10:36,441 --> 00:10:39,360
I should get the name of your dentist.
I can't find one I like.

202
00:10:39,444 --> 00:10:43,071
They're always giving me Novocain
and it's hours before I can talk again.

203
00:10:43,155 --> 00:10:45,406
FRASIER: Oh, yes, well, I
could give you his number,

204
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:47,993
although I'm not sure
he'd be any different.

205
00:10:52,079 --> 00:10:54,790
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

206
00:10:57,251 --> 00:11:01,087
Divine Beethoven.
It's extraordinary, isn't it?

207
00:11:01,171 --> 00:11:02,630
Oh, yes.

208
00:11:02,714 --> 00:11:05,549
And you know what makes
it even more amazing?

209
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:07,134
What?

210
00:11:07,843 --> 00:11:09,303
He was deaf.

211
00:11:15,516 --> 00:11:18,644
Daphne, uh, more pâté, please.

212
00:11:26,026 --> 00:11:30,071
Poppy, I can't tell you how
wonderful it is to meet someone who…

213
00:11:30,155 --> 00:11:33,573
Who shares my passion for the arts.

214
00:11:33,657 --> 00:11:36,827
It's a rare thing to find
in Seattle, believe me.

215
00:11:36,911 --> 00:11:39,204
-Is it?
-Oh, yes, sadly.

216
00:11:39,288 --> 00:11:41,747
If only more people were better informed

217
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:45,085
about our city's rich cultural treasures.

218
00:11:46,002 --> 00:11:47,879
But what can we

219
00:11:48,462 --> 00:11:51,214
as mere radio folk do?

220
00:11:51,298 --> 00:11:53,258
POPPY: Well…

221
00:11:55,886 --> 00:12:01,932
What about a radio show
all about the arts in Seattle?

222
00:12:02,016 --> 00:12:05,435
Oh, my God.
Poppy, that's a wonderful idea.

223
00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:09,063
How do you do it?
You just pull these things out of the air.

224
00:12:09,147 --> 00:12:14,026
Oh, heavens. Of course, we'll
have to find ourselves a proper host.

225
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:15,360
But who?

226
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:16,945
Well, someone very smart.

227
00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:18,822
-Oh, indeed.
-And cultured.

228
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,157
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

229
00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:22,992
And with a lovely speaking voice.

230
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,912
Oh, I don't think we need to look too far.

231
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:31,333
Here you go. It's very rich,
so don't spread it on too thick.

232
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:36,129
Frasier, I'm so glad
you're on board with this.

233
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:40,424
You know, my only concern
is will Kenny go for it?

234
00:12:40,508 --> 00:12:43,135
You see, he's a bit of a Philistine.

235
00:12:43,219 --> 00:12:47,806
It might be better if the suggestion
came not actually from us but from…

236
00:12:48,723 --> 00:12:49,933
Someone else.

237
00:12:50,684 --> 00:12:51,685
Who?

238
00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:58,149
Well, someone with more
authority, power, influence…

239
00:13:00,317 --> 00:13:01,735
Someone older.

240
00:13:03,112 --> 00:13:05,238
A woman, perhaps.

241
00:13:08,408 --> 00:13:11,452
Your mother. He means your mother.

242
00:13:11,536 --> 00:13:13,245
POPPY: Oh…

243
00:13:14,788 --> 00:13:16,998
Great idea. I'll call her.

244
00:13:17,082 --> 00:13:18,291
Here, here, use mine.

245
00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:20,751
Oh, thank you.

246
00:13:22,795 --> 00:13:26,173
Hello, Mommy? I'm with Frasier Crane,

247
00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:29,550
and we think there should
be an arts show on KACL.

248
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:31,428
[FRASIER CHUCKLING]

249
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,222
But I really like this idea.

250
00:13:35,724 --> 00:13:38,642
So you'll call Kenny and
tell him you want this, okay?

251
00:13:39,643 --> 00:13:41,186
Love you too.

252
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:44,773
Okay, bye. And the first show should be?

253
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:48,567
Why don't we start tomorrow?
But we'll need something to review.

254
00:13:48,651 --> 00:13:51,362
That revival of <i>A Streetcar
Named Desire</i> opens tonight.

255
00:13:51,446 --> 00:13:55,657
Splendid. Let's go together.
All right, I'll see you at the theater.

256
00:13:55,741 --> 00:13:57,867
[POPPY, FRASIER LAUGHING]

257
00:13:57,951 --> 00:14:00,412
-Oh, Poppy.
-Hello, little Eddie.

258
00:14:00,496 --> 00:14:02,747
Did you have a good walk?

259
00:14:04,248 --> 00:14:06,542
Actually, we've just been to the vet's.

260
00:14:06,626 --> 00:14:10,212
Ohh. I had the cutest little dog
when I was young, named Mr. Oops.

261
00:14:10,296 --> 00:14:12,797
Every time we took
him to the vet, he would…

262
00:14:16,092 --> 00:14:18,386
-You took Eddie to the vet. Is he sick?
-MARTIN: No,

263
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:20,554
it turns out the building security camera

264
00:14:20,638 --> 00:14:24,225
caught Eddie taking out
Robbie Greenberg's hamster.

265
00:14:25,684 --> 00:14:29,979
So this Greenberg kid's trying to make
Eddie out to be some kind of pit bull.

266
00:14:30,063 --> 00:14:33,232
He's organizing a petition to
get him banned from the building.

267
00:14:33,316 --> 00:14:34,567
Oh, Dad, that's terrible.

268
00:14:34,651 --> 00:14:37,694
Yeah, it is, so I don't know,

269
00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:43,116
I just wanted everybody to see what
a nice, calm, friendly dog Eddie was.

270
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,533
Why take him to the vet?

271
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,118
-Tranquilizers.
-FRASIER: Oh.

272
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:48,745
MARTIN: They don't even work anyway.

273
00:14:48,829 --> 00:14:52,291
I gave Eddie one of those pills on
the ride home. It didn't do a thing.

274
00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:54,750
I don't know.
I think maybe he needs something else.

275
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:57,295
Uh, Mr. Crane…

276
00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:00,173
[DOORBELL RINGS]

277
00:15:00,257 --> 00:15:04,927
Looks like all he needs is a
lava lamp and some sitar music.

278
00:15:07,596 --> 00:15:09,222
Niles.

279
00:15:09,306 --> 00:15:11,724
Well, I'm glad to see
you're in a better mood.

280
00:15:11,808 --> 00:15:14,810
I was hoping you'd lend me your
Tennessee Williams biography.

281
00:15:14,894 --> 00:15:17,271
I have to review that
revival of <i>Streetcar.</i>

282
00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:19,063
I wanted some background stuff.

283
00:15:19,147 --> 00:15:20,273
Well, I'm sorry, Niles.

284
00:15:20,357 --> 00:15:23,818
Normally I would, except that I'll
be needing it for my own review.

285
00:15:23,902 --> 00:15:26,404
Oh. Well, in that case, I'll… Wh…

286
00:15:28,239 --> 00:15:29,532
What?

287
00:15:30,116 --> 00:15:31,658
Right, you wouldn't have heard.

288
00:15:31,742 --> 00:15:35,203
Starting tomorrow, I'll be doing
my own little arts show on KACL.

289
00:15:35,287 --> 00:15:36,746
Twice weekly.

290
00:15:37,581 --> 00:15:40,292
-You envious reptile.
-pâté?

291
00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:44,336
I achieve one tiny distinction you
don't have and what do you do?

292
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:47,422
-You run to Kenny for extra airtime.
-I did no such thing.

293
00:15:47,506 --> 00:15:49,090
No, he went to Poppy instead.

294
00:15:49,174 --> 00:15:51,550
-Poppy?
-Is this a panel discussion?

295
00:15:51,634 --> 00:15:54,011
-You loathe Poppy.
-I do not. She's delightful.

296
00:15:54,095 --> 00:15:55,930
-Isn't she?
-She's an idiot.

297
00:15:57,307 --> 00:16:00,725
You conniving copycat.
You have to have whatever I have.

298
00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:04,145
I do not have what you have.
My audience is twice as large as yours.

299
00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:06,064
Well, at least my audience can read.

300
00:16:06,148 --> 00:16:07,899
How dare you review my audience.

301
00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:14,196
I've never seen him like this,
eyes bulging, tongue lolling out.

302
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,449
He always gets that way
when he fights with Niles.

303
00:16:20,619 --> 00:16:22,328
-Good morning, Roz.
-Hi.

304
00:16:22,412 --> 00:16:24,996
Ha-ha-ha. You ready for our debut?

305
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,375
Listen, I'm thinking of calling the
show <i>Frasier Crane's Aisle Say,</i>

306
00:16:28,459 --> 00:16:31,670
but with the "I'll" spelled
like a theater aisle.

307
00:16:31,754 --> 00:16:34,297
That should work real well on radio.

308
00:16:34,964 --> 00:16:38,175
Watch out for Kenny. I hear he's
mad at you for going over his head.

309
00:16:38,259 --> 00:16:41,095
He can't be mad at me.
The whole thing was Poppy's idea.

310
00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:44,264
Oh, here she is now.
Come to wish me luck. Ha-ha!

311
00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:47,767
-Poppy.
-I was afraid I wouldn't get here in time.

312
00:16:47,851 --> 00:16:50,852
Oh, here. Here. We got a few
minutes before the show starts.

313
00:16:50,936 --> 00:16:52,771
Take a seat. Catch your breath.

314
00:16:52,855 --> 00:16:54,898
Oh, gosh, I'm really glad you made it.

315
00:16:54,982 --> 00:16:57,109
It wouldn't be a proper debut without you.

316
00:16:57,193 --> 00:17:00,111
Wow, all these buttons. How do you do it?

317
00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:03,114
It's not that complicated really.
I turn on the mike here.

318
00:17:03,198 --> 00:17:04,615
These are my call buttons.

319
00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:08,035
And, oh, I push this button
here if I wanna cough.

320
00:17:08,786 --> 00:17:10,913
How does it make you cough?

321
00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:18,294
I hate to rush you but we've got a
couple of minutes before the show…

322
00:17:18,378 --> 00:17:21,297
Whoo! I better get a move on.

323
00:17:24,383 --> 00:17:27,183
-Poppy, what are you doing?
-Getting ready for my show.

324
00:17:27,928 --> 00:17:29,887
One minute.

325
00:17:29,971 --> 00:17:31,472
Your show?

326
00:17:31,556 --> 00:17:36,644
Well, okay, our show. After all,
it was your idea for me to do it.

327
00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:40,480
Everyone. Everyone, come in here, please.

328
00:17:42,315 --> 00:17:45,610
Before I begin my new show,
I just want to say a few words.

329
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:49,738
Yesterday I was ready to leave KACL,

330
00:17:49,822 --> 00:17:53,783
to run away as I have from
so many other challenges.

331
00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:57,495
It was the support of
one man, Frasier Crane,

332
00:17:58,788 --> 00:18:02,791
that helped me overcome the
shyness you may have observed in me.

333
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,502
And to follow my dreams.

334
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,797
Oh, God, I wanna cry.

335
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,466
We all do.

336
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:16,011
-Ten seconds.
-Go, go.

337
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,307
How could you do this to us?

338
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:24,226
-I had no idea she intended to stay.
-That's not what her mother told me.

339
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:27,272
And I thought I'd seen some
cruel pranks in the Army.

340
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,941
I assure you, she is
way out of her depth here.

341
00:18:32,025 --> 00:18:35,695
She'll realize she's in over her head
and beg me to come in and take over.

342
00:18:35,779 --> 00:18:40,866
<i>A Streetcar Named Desire</i> is
a very powerful Broadway play.

343
00:18:40,950 --> 00:18:44,745
It was made into a movie
starring Marlon Brando.

344
00:18:44,829 --> 00:18:47,622
This gave the play a very
personal relevance for me,

345
00:18:47,706 --> 00:18:50,667
as I once sat next to
Mr. Brando on the Concorde

346
00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:52,585
and we had a very lovely chat,

347
00:18:52,669 --> 00:18:55,630
until a sudden cramp
forced him to change seats.

348
00:18:58,466 --> 00:19:04,762
<i>Streetcar</i> tells the tragic
tale of Blanche Dubois,

349
00:19:04,846 --> 00:19:07,098
[SOUTHERN ACCENT] who's a very genteel,

350
00:19:07,182 --> 00:19:10,059
very proper Southern lady.

351
00:19:10,977 --> 00:19:13,771
[DEEP VOICE] Or is she?

352
00:19:31,536 --> 00:19:34,247
Go ahead, Niles, I
know you were listening.

353
00:19:34,331 --> 00:19:39,209
Well, I wish you'd lent her your
Tennessee Williams biography.

354
00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:43,339
She wouldn't have kept forgetting his
name and calling him Indiana Jones.

355
00:19:48,134 --> 00:19:51,888
If it's any consolation, I
got fired from <i>The Monocle.</i>

356
00:19:54,015 --> 00:19:56,516
Oh, Niles, I'm sorry.

357
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,601
I panned a wretched musical,

358
00:19:58,685 --> 00:20:03,021
not realizing the lead was the
person who does Olga's hair.

359
00:20:03,105 --> 00:20:05,691
She fired you just to
placate her hairdresser?

360
00:20:05,775 --> 00:20:07,318
Electrolycist.

361
00:20:09,487 --> 00:20:12,937
And if you'd ever seen her in a
sundress, you'd forgive her as I have.

362
00:20:13,949 --> 00:20:17,452
Oh, I am sorry, Niles.
Gosh, it's such a shame, really, you know,

363
00:20:17,536 --> 00:20:21,038
I know how much you loved that
job, and to lose it in such a fashion…

364
00:20:22,414 --> 00:20:26,585
Well, you know, I was thinking
of quitting that job anyway.

365
00:20:26,669 --> 00:20:28,461
-Oh?
-NILES: Mm-hmm.

366
00:20:28,545 --> 00:20:30,880
I felt I was spreading myself too thin.

367
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,965
Getting distracted from my real work.

368
00:20:33,049 --> 00:20:35,634
I had the same thought.
Even as I was preparing my show,

369
00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:38,011
I thought, "Am I being fair
to my regular listeners?"

370
00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:41,014
-They do depend on you. Thank you.
-As do your patients.

371
00:20:41,098 --> 00:20:44,476
Gosh, you know, is it any wonder
we find ourselves ex-critics?

372
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,894
We were meant to lose those jobs.

373
00:20:46,978 --> 00:20:51,648
It's as if the gods of psychiatry have
quietly stepped in and put things right.

374
00:20:51,732 --> 00:20:53,065
Well put.

375
00:20:53,149 --> 00:20:54,734
Oh, thank you.

376
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:57,820
If you're feeling hungry, we
could catch an early dinner…

377
00:20:57,904 --> 00:20:59,781
Ooh! And then catch the new Stoppard play.

378
00:20:59,865 --> 00:21:01,406
FRASIER: Splendid.

379
00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:05,327
It's just a shame my listeners never
got to hear my review of <i>Streetcar.</i>

380
00:21:05,411 --> 00:21:06,953
-Ooh. Insightful?
-Groundbreaking.

381
00:21:07,037 --> 00:21:08,163
-As was mine.
-Yes.

382
00:21:08,247 --> 00:21:10,539
Well, it takes a psychiatrist
to interpret that play.

383
00:21:10,623 --> 00:21:12,416
Mm-hm. Indeed.

384
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,918
All right, you go first. Go.

385
00:21:14,002 --> 00:21:17,755
A descent into madness is well worth
the trip in this incandescent revival

386
00:21:17,839 --> 00:21:19,839
-of <i>A Streetcar Named Desire.</i>
-FRASIER: Niles.

387
00:21:19,923 --> 00:21:22,634
"Incandescent"?
The same tired word you used…

388
00:21:26,138 --> 00:21:27,555
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]