1
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,805
[♪♪♪]

2
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:16,081
Okay, see, one time
in the cafeteria,

3
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,950
Randy Beaman was eating
a bologna sandwich,

4
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,986
then Jason made
this gross noise:

5
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,354
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:26,158
And Randy Beaman laughed so hard
bologna came out his nose.

7
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,859
Really.

8
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:28,860
'Kay, bye.

9
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,862
[♪♪♪]

10
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,267
[♪♪♪]

11
00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:38,504
ANNOUNCER:
<i> Newsreel of the Stars.</i>

12
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,008
<i> Dateline: Hollywood, 1930.</i>

13
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,510
<i> The Warner Brothers studio,</i>

14
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:47,513
<i> home of the biggest stars</i>
<i> in Tinseltown.</i>

15
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,915
<i> Here at the studio's</i>
<i> new Animation Department,</i>

16
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:53,252
<i> the artists toil endlessly</i>
<i> to come up with cartoon stars,</i>

17
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,587
<i> ultimately creating</i>
<i> three new characters:</i>

18
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,590
<i> The Warner brothers</i>
<i> and their sister, Dot.</i>

19
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,260
WARNERS:
Hello, Nurse!

20
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:05,997
ANNOUNCER:
<i> Unfortunately, the Warner kids</i>
<i> were totally out of control...</i>

21
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,769
<i> and sent the animators</i>
<i> running to the hills.</i>

22
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,071
ALL:
Bye.

23
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,706
Boingie! Boingie! Boingie!
Boingie!

24
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:17,709
ANNOUNCER:
<i> The trio ran amok</i>
<i> throughout the studio,</i>

25
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,945
<i> creating utter chaos.</i>

26
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,150
[SCREAMING]

27
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:27,419
ANNOUNCER:<i> </i>
<i> Finally, they were captured.</i>

28
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:32,891
<i> The Warners' films,</i>
<i> which made absolutely no sense,</i>

29
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,726
<i> were locked away</i>
<i> in the studio vault,</i>

30
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,061
<i> never to be released.</i>

31
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:41,166
<i> As for the Warners themselves,</i>
<i> who made even less sense,</i>

32
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,735
<i> they were locked away</i>
<i> in the studio water tower,</i>

33
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,370
<i> also never to be released.</i>

34
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,374
<i> Publicly, the studio</i>
<i> has disavowed</i>

35
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,276
<i> any knowledge</i>
<i> of the Warners' existence</i>

36
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:55,046
<i> to this very day,</i>
<i> when the Warners escaped.</i>

37
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,584
[♪♪♪]

38
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:02,053
ALL:
♪ It's time for<i> Animaniacs</i> ♪

39
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,689
♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

40
00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:06,492
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

41
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:08,160
♪ You'll laugh
Till you collapse ♪

42
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,562
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

43
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,364
BOTH:
♪ Come join
The Warner brothers ♪

44
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,999
♪ And the Warner sister, Dot ♪

45
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,968
ALL:
♪ Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot ♪

46
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,638
♪ They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught ♪

47
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,373
♪ But we break loose
And then vamoose ♪

48
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,574
♪ And now you know the plot ♪

49
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,110
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

50
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:28,046
<i> ♪ Dot is cute and Yakko yaks ♪</i>

51
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,414
<i> ♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪</i>

52
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,116
<i> ♪ While Bill Clinton</i>
<i> Plays the sax ♪</i>

53
00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,152
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

54
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,521
<i> ♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain ♪</i>

55
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:36,988
<i> ♪ Who want to rule</i>
<i> The universe ♪</i>

56
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,357
<i> ♪ Goodfeathers flock together ♪</i>

57
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,891
<i> ♪ Slappy whacks 'em</i>
<i> With her purse ♪</i>

58
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,193
<i> ♪</i> Buttons chases Mindy ♪

59
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,727
<i> ♪ While Rita sings a verse ♪</i>

60
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,463
♪ The writers flipped
We have no script ♪

61
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:45,631
♪ Why bother to rehearse? ♪

62
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:48,400
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

63
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:51,236
♪ We have pay-or-play
Contracts ♪

64
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:52,671
♪ We're zany to the max ♪

65
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,339
♪ There's bologna
In our slacks ♪

66
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,907
♪ We're Animan-y ♪

67
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,242
♪ Totally insane-y ♪

68
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,777
♪ Shirley MacLaine-y ♪

69
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,012
♪ Animaniacs ♪

70
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,481
♪ Those are the facts ♪

71
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,819
[♪♪♪]

72
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:20,665
Huh?

73
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:25,937
Giddyap!

74
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,572
[HORSE WHINNIES]

75
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,683
[♪♪♪]

76
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,522
[♪♪♪]

77
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,761
DR. SCRATCHANSNIFF:
Today, my little Warner friends,

78
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,730
I don't want to ask you
any boring questions.

79
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,731
So can we go then?

80
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:54,966
Wait, wait, wait.

81
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,235
Wouldn't you like to hear
my fun new idea?

82
00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,671
I thought you said
no boring questions.

83
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,274
[LAUGHS]

84
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,910
Today, I want to try
a little group session,

85
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:08,513
and so I've invited one of
my other patients to join us.

86
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,016
Who is it? One of those cute
little Olsen twins?

87
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:15,520
No, but it is a fellow
Warner Brothers employee.

88
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,188
Your other patient
is here, doctor.

89
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,090
Very well. Send her in.

90
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,426
Now, she may be shy
and bashful,

91
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,827
and unwilling to chitchat,

92
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:25,063
so please be polite,
okey-dokeys?

93
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,464
ALL:
Okey-dokeys.

94
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,899
[♪♪♪]

95
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:32,603
♪ Oh, where, oh, where
Has my little dog gone, baby? ♪

96
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,205
ALL:
Elmyra!

97
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:36,574
Hiya, Mr. Doctor Man.

98
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:39,744
Do you wanna look
inside my little head?

99
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:42,047
Well, heh-heh, yes, perhaps.

100
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,550
But first, I want you to meet
some other patients of mine.

101
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,052
Oohh!

102
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,620
Look at the cute fuzzy heads!

103
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:55,493
What are you? Puppies?
Kitties? Big fuzzy buggies?

104
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,162
BOTH:
We're the Warner brothers.

105
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,464
And the Warner sister.

106
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,566
Well, I'm the Warner hugger
and kisser,

107
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,102
and squeezer
into itty-bitty pieces.

108
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,770
Nice to meet you.

109
00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:08,206
Okay, now, everyone,
let's settle down,

110
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:12,710
and let's all have fun
with Mr. Puppet Head.

111
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:14,346
Oohh!

112
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:17,248
I love Mr. Puppet Head!

113
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,250
ALL:
Figures.

114
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:20,818
[SQUEAKY VOICE]
Hello, everybody.

115
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,388
Hello, Mr. Puppet Head.

116
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,256
[GIGGLES]

117
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,258
[NORMAL VOICE]
Is there something you kiddies

118
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,060
would like to share
with Mr. Puppet Head?

119
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:32,897
Nope.

120
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,665
Not me.

121
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,234
I'd like to share.

122
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,403
Good. What?

123
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,071
This.

124
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,807
Naughty puppet.

125
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,476
Yi-yi-yi! I mean:

126
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:45,810
[SQUEAKY VOICE]
Yi-yi-yi!

127
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,146
[NORMAL VOICE]
Are you all right,
Mr. Puppet Head?

128
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,948
[SQUEAKY VOICE]
No, I got a woogie on my noggin.

129
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,885
Oh, don't worry,
Mr. Puppet Head.

130
00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:57,955
I'll take care of you
with a great big huggy-poo!

131
00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:01,259
I'm gonna make you all better,
and love you and kiss you,

132
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:05,296
and be nursey-nurse for the sick
little woogie noggin.

133
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,931
[ELMYRA KISSING PUPPET]

134
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,533
Oh, the humanity.

135
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:12,203
Mwah. There. All better.

136
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:16,841
Mr. Puppet Head, what happened?

137
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,643
Nobody's home.

138
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,311
There's an understatement.

139
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,679
I know.

140
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,281
Let's engage
in some parallel play

141
00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:26,651
with a little
non-competitive gaming. Yeah?

142
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:27,885
ALL:
Say what?

143
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:31,189
He means, let's play
hug the puppy heads!

144
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,690
I'm gonna hug you
and squeeze you,

145
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:34,159
and take you home,

146
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,961
and dress you up
like little ponies.

147
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,764
And we'll play rodeo cowgirl!

148
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,899
I got another idea.

149
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,868
Let's play
What Happened to the Warners?

150
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:47,372
BOTH:
What happened to the...Warners?

151
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,508
Don't you worry,
Mr. Doctor Man Wrinkle Head.

152
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:51,509
I'll find 'em!

153
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,181
Oh, Warners!

154
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,183
[♪♪♪]

155
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,056
[ALL PANTING]

156
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,192
That was a close one.

157
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,793
That was a weird one.

158
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,994
[WHISTLE TOOTING]

159
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,930
All aboard. Woo, woo!

160
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,699
[GIGGLES]

161
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,502
We're gonna play
<i> Petticoat Junction.</i>

162
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,903
[ALL SCREAM]

163
00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,906
♪ Oh, I'm Uncle Joe
And I'm moving kinda slow ♪

164
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,708
♪ Woo, woo! ♪

165
00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,814
Come back! I got some taffy.

166
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,419
Excuse me, Mr. Guardman Face,

167
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:37,522
have you seen
the little Warner heads?

168
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:39,857
Uh, the Warner heads?

169
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:43,528
Um. Well, I...
The Warners?

170
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,196
There you are.

171
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:46,731
Some hiding place.

172
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:48,166
It was warm.

173
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,936
Hey! Come back!

174
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,606
[♪♪♪]

175
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,875
ELMYRA:
Here I come
to love you to pieces.

176
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:08,520
[ROARS]

177
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,595
Have you seen
three cute fuzzy heads?

178
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:29,174
Ooh! Look at the big dino head.

179
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,941
You're cute.

180
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:33,578
I'm gonna bathe you,
and powder you

181
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,580
and teach you how to go
on the paper.

182
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,248
Oops.

183
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,949
[ALL GASP]

184
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,854
[ECHOING]
There you are.

185
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,691
[♪♪♪]

186
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,959
Wait. We've gotta
fight fire with fire.

187
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:50,428
[WHISPERING INAUDIBLY]

188
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,265
Follow me.

189
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:58,169
Oh, Warners. Wait for me.

190
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,509
<i> Voilà,</i>
the answer to our prayers.

191
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,215
[GIGGLING]

192
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:16,621
Oh, Warner-adle-adle-ooo!

193
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,600
[BARKING SOFTLY]

194
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,071
Puppy toy.

195
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,072
[LAUGHS]

196
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,507
[GRUNTS]

197
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,086
Rowr?

198
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:51,756
Relax, pal.
It's taken care of.

199
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,859
Where are you,
Warner-a-licious?

200
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:58,429
I'm gonna fold you
and spindle you, and--

201
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,430
[GASPS]

202
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:03,167
Look at that cute little
girl head.

203
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:08,306
Wait for me,
little girly-girl.

204
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,808
Look out, girly head!

205
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:11,842
[CRASH]

206
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:13,811
[GURGLING]

207
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:19,850
Hey, come back here,
you little missy-miss.

208
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,457
Unh!

209
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,892
[SAW BUZZES]

210
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,093
Unh!

211
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,195
All clear!

212
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,033
[CLAPPING]

213
00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:38,202
I love a happy ending.

214
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,772
Sometimes I just love
when it ends.

215
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,245
[♪♪♪]

216
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,914
ANNOUNCER:<i> </i>
<i> And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

217
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,682
[CLEARS THROAT]

218
00:10:51,684 --> 00:10:53,985
"Old King Cole."

219
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,187
<i> Old King Cole</i>
<i> was a merry old soul</i>

220
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,822
<i> And a merry old soul was he</i>

221
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,525
<i> He called for his pipe</i>
<i> And he called for his bowl</i>

222
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,859
<i> And he called Information</i>

223
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:03,261
<i> For numbers</i>
<i> He could have easily</i>

224
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,929
<i> Looked up in the phone book</i>

225
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,397
Thank you.

226
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,698
[FINGERS SNAPPING]

227
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,400
ANNOUNCER:
<i> This has been another visit</i>

228
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,768
<i> to Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

229
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,604
[♪♪♪]

230
00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:15,906
♪ The crankiest of creatures
In the whole wide world ♪

231
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:19,677
♪ Our next cartoon features
Slappy the Squirrel ♪

232
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:23,214
Enough with the singing already.

233
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,150
♪ That's Slappy ♪

234
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,388
[♪♪♪]

235
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,660
[♪♪♪]

236
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,230
[GLASS BREAKING]

237
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,611
Excuse me.

238
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,913
Are you here
for plastic surgery, or golf?

239
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,482
There's a wait on golf.

240
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,651
Wow! Your skin's so tight

241
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,386
you could bounce quarters
off it.

242
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,555
I'm pretty.
Now, what do you want?

243
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:06,357
I was wondering what room
my Aunt Slappy was in.

244
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,358
[MAN SCREAMING]

245
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,961
Never mind.

246
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,902
Hi, Aunt Slappy.
Resting quietly?

247
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:22,407
Eh, Skippy, they don't make
orderlies like they used to.

248
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,576
Come out from under there,
sweetie.

249
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,710
[SCREAMS]

250
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,546
Why are you doing this?

251
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,249
Hey, I can't help it.
I'm attracted to men in uniform.

252
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:35,019
No. I mean, why are you having
plastic surgery?

253
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:36,987
To get ready
for my big cartoon comeback.

254
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,256
The business needs me.

255
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,225
They're in trouble.
Just watch this.

256
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,695
<i> Oh!</i>

257
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:48,700
<i> Ha-ha! I love chopping down</i>
<i> virgin timber.</i>

258
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:49,800
<i> [SAW BUZZING]</i>

259
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:50,901
<i> [GASPS]</i>

260
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,139
<i> Gee-hee! Hey, Wolverine Lou.</i>

261
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:57,875
<i> Hurting trees is wrong.</i>
<i> Gee-hee.</i>

262
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:02,247
<i> Gosh, Robin Robin.</i>
<i> No one ever told me.</i>

263
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:05,916
<i> I will stop now,</i>
<i> and go help someone in need.</i>

264
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,659
No gags, no bulldozers,
no dynamite.

265
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,093
What a rotten cartoon.

266
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,730
What's that got to do
with plastic surgery?

267
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:21,666
Nowadays, nobody hires you
unless you're good-looking.

268
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,468
I gotta compete
with these young<i> yutzes.</i>

269
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,571
Does that hammer the plot
home for ya?

270
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,072
I'm gonna have a total
face-lift,

271
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:30,808
a tummy tuck and my tail
liposuctioned.

272
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,444
I'll be back on top again
in no time.

273
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:37,749
But you look fine now,
Aunt Slappy. See?

274
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,216
Thanks for the boost.

275
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,255
These bedpans are so cold
my tail has frostbite.

276
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,757
Sorry, Ms. Squirrel.

277
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,526
Dr. Roma has finished
parring the back nine.

278
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:49,927
He's ready for you now.

279
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,262
About time.

280
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,264
I'm gonna transform
into a butterfly.

281
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,766
Or Wilford Brimley.

282
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,401
Whichever comes out of a cocoon.

283
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,341
Take this to my locker,

284
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,809
then call the clubhouse

285
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,811
and reserve me a teeoff time
for 1 p.m.

286
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:10,080
Make that 4 p.m.

287
00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:11,482
Hey, Arnold Palmer.

288
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,685
Nice of you to squeeze in
time to operate.

289
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,487
[HUMMING]

290
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:31,469
When I'm done
with Slappy Squirrel,

291
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,305
her face will make
a hedgehog's rump look pretty.

292
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:37,942
All right, Ms. Squirrel,

293
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,711
just relax
and watch the monitor.

294
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:42,213
I'm going to show you scenes
from Alan Alda movies.

295
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,681
You'll be out in no time.

296
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,783
Couldn't you just hit me
on the head with a hammer?

297
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:46,784
[LAUGHS]

298
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:47,819
Now, now.

299
00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:50,154
You just watch
Mr. Alda while I go wash up.

300
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,525
<i> I mean, what do we really know</i>
<i> about people?</i>

301
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,361
<i> About men? Women?</i>

302
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,362
<i> I'm puzzled.</i>

303
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,129
<i> Being in a relationship</i>

304
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,965
<i> is like walking</i>
<i> the tightrope of life.</i>

305
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,467
Bleah!

306
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,235
[SNORING]

307
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:09,807
Finally.

308
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:11,942
The chance to mangle my old foe,

309
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:13,811
Slappy Squirrel,
once and for all.

310
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,646
[SNICKERS]

311
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,583
I mustn't forget to wash up.

312
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,351
With Acme Sudsing Germs.

313
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,058
[LAUGHING]

314
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:31,562
The doctor will see you now,
Slappy Squirrel.

315
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,972
First, I'll mush your face in
like this.

316
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:45,476
Then I'll puff up your cheeks
and scrunch your nose.

317
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,946
Then I'll stretch your chin
like Jay Leno.

318
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,583
You'll never make
another cartoon again!

319
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,719
[LAUGHS]

320
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,554
Is this sad or what?

321
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,523
Now, let us begin.

322
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,433
Ahh! Oof.

323
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,574
[GROWLING]

324
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,888
Jerry Lewis, eat your heart out.

325
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,328
Ah!

326
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:45,436
Fore!

327
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:50,842
That's it.
No more Mr. Nice Wolf.

328
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,611
[LAUGHS]

329
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,979
Perfect.

330
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:58,749
[SNORTS]

331
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:01,853
Give me those.

332
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,053
What you can get away with

333
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,856
in cartoons these days
is shocking.

334
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:09,660
DOCTOR:
Fore!

335
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,063
There's my ball.

336
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:18,703
I'll play it from here.
I don't wanna lose a stroke.

337
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,471
[WALTER YELLING]

338
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,807
What? Who? Where?

339
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,074
What happened?

340
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,309
As if I cared.

341
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:27,378
Good shot.

342
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,783
Why, Walter,
what are you doing here?

343
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,854
Oh! Ow!

344
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:39,123
Ooh. Looks like
you could use

345
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,058
a little plastic surgery
of your own.

346
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:45,730
Your next patient, boys.

347
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:50,701
Here's a picture to work from.
It came with the wallet.

348
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:56,206
So you're skipping your
plastic surgery, Aunt Slappy?

349
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,777
Eh, I'll keep my wrinkles.
I earned every one of 'em.

350
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,445
But what about your comeback?

351
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:02,479
Forget it.

352
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:03,948
If I have to change
my appearance,

353
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,315
it's not worth doing.

354
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:07,885
Skippy, I've learned
that looks aren't everything.

355
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,988
It's the beauty in your heart
that's really important.

356
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:14,124
Gee, Aunt Slappy, you sound
like an after-school special.

357
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,793
You're right.
I take it all back.

358
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,228
WALTER:
My face! I'm ruined!

359
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,065
What will the other
villains say?

360
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,401
Now, that's edutainment.

361
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,308
[♪♪♪]

362
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,977
ANNOUNCER:<i> </i>
<i> And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

363
00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:35,613
[CLEARS THROAT]

364
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,848
"Ode to a Veggie."

365
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,816
<i> Beans, beans, the musical fruit</i>

366
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:40,984
<i> The more you eat</i>

367
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:42,386
<i> The more they kick you</i>
<i> Off the air</i>

368
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,787
<i> If you finish this poem</i>

369
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,556
Thank you.

370
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,724
[FINGERS SNAPPING]

371
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,425
ANNOUNCER:
<i> This has been another visit</i>

372
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:49,693
<i> to Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

373
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:52,429
[♪♪♪]

374
00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,737
One time, okay, see--

375
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,272
One time, Randy Beaman's family

376
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,806
had this party
with food and stuff,

377
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,841
and they had, like,
this bean dip for the chips,

378
00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:06,910
and everybody ate it
and said it was really good,

379
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,111
only it wasn't bean dip.

380
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:11,081
It was a mistake.
It was really dog food.

381
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:13,884
'Kay, bye.

382
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,886
[♪♪♪]

383
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,292
[♪♪♪]

384
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,630
Whoa, Wakko, Dot, hold up.

385
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:27,631
Why?

386
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:28,965
It's that time again.

387
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:31,134
Oh, no,
not the Wheel of Morality.

388
00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:34,805
Afraid so. It's time to learn
the moral of today's story.

389
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:38,074
BOTH:
No! No!

390
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:39,443
Hey, come on.

391
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:42,346
The Wheel of Morality
adds boring educational value

392
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,580
to what would otherwise be

393
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:45,816
an almost entirely
entertaining program.

394
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,118
But the morals make no sense.

395
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,521
It's totally bogus.

396
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:54,925
Who came up with this stupid
Wheel of Morality idea anyway?

397
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,160
The execs
at the Fox Kids' Network.

398
00:19:57,162 --> 00:20:01,865
Oh! Heh, heh. They did?
What a great idea.

399
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,135
Yeah.
I love the Wheel of Morality.

400
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,103
Mwah.

401
00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:09,740
So...

402
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,843
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.

403
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,878
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.

404
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,447
Moral number six.

405
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:19,182
And the moral
of today's story is:

406
00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:21,017
"Lather, rinse, repeat."

407
00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:22,519
This is a moral?

408
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,855
Hey, it's the best we could do
on such short notice.

409
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,056
[WHISTLE BLOWING]

410
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,057
ALL:
Yipe!

411
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,059
[♪♪♪]

412
00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:34,931
[♪♪♪]

413
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,491
Spew!