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[BOLD THEME PLAYING]
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NARRATOR:
Newsreel of the Stars.
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Dateline: Hollywood, 1930.
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The Warner Bros. studio.
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Here at the studio's
new animation department,
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the artists toil endlessly
to come up with cartoon stars,
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ultimately creating
three new characters:
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the Warner brothers
and their sister, Dot.
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ALL:
Hello, nurse!
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Unfortunately, the Warner kids
were totally out of control.
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ALL:
Boingie! Boingie!
Boingie! Boingie!
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The trio ran amok
throughout the studio.
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Until their capture.
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The Warners' films,
which made absolutely no sense,
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were locked away
in the studio vault,
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never to be released.
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As for the Warners themselves,
they were locked away
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in the studio water tower,
also never to be released.
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Publicly, the studio
has disavowed
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any knowledge of the Warners'
existence to this very day,
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when the Warners escaped.
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[♪♪♪]
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ALL:
♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪
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♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
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♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
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♪ You'll laugh
Till you collapse ♪
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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BOTH:
♪ Come join
The Warner brothers ♪
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♪ And the Warner sister, Dot ♪
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ALL:
♪ Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot ♪
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♪ They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught ♪
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♪ But we break loose
And then vamoose ♪
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♪ And now you know the plot ♪
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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♪ Dot is cute and Yakko yaks ♪
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♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
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♪ While Bill Clinton
Plays the sax ♪
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain ♪
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♪ Who want to rule
The universe ♪
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♪ Goodfeathers flock together ♪
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♪ Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse ♪
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♪ Buttons chases Mindy ♪
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♪ While Rita sings a verse ♪
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♪ The writers flipped
We have no script ♪
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♪ Why bother to rehearse? ♪
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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♪ We have pay-or-play
Contracts ♪
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♪ We're zany to the max ♪
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♪ There's bologna
In our slacks ♪
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♪ We're Animan-y ♪
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♪ Totally insane-y ♪
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♪ Here's the show's name-y ♪
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♪ Animaniacs ♪
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♪ Those are the facts ♪
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[♪♪♪]
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NARRATOR:
In 1620,
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an intrepid group of pilgrims
in search of freedom
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sailed from England
and landed on Plymouth Rock.
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And here on the coast
of New England,
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they established
the Plymouth Colony.
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[♪♪♪]
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After their difficult
first year,
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they decided to celebrate
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their freedom
and their first harvest
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with a great feast.
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But of what food
shall we eat?
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I'll maketh my okra quiche.
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Oh! I'll maketh
salmon tacos.
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I'll maketh
curly Cajun fries.
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Oh, I love thy curly Cajun
fries. They are to dieth for.
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MAN:
Noooo!
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[♪♪♪]
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We shall eat
of the great native bird...
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the turkey.
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Those gobbley things?
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Oh, they art the dickens
to catcheth.
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Oh, yes.
Very elusive.
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Tricky creatures.
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Tough to nabeth.
Very tough.
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Yes, very tough.
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MAN:
I should sayeth so.
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[PILGRIMS CHATTERING]
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Not for Miles Standish.
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NARRATOR:
And so the pilgrims'
bravest hunter and marksman
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went forth to bringeth back
the main course: a turkey.
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Bye!
Bye!
Bye-bye!
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Bye-bye!
Bye!
Buh-bye-bye!
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Good luck to thee,
Brother Standish.
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And don't forget
the cranberry sauce.
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[BRANCH CRACKS]
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Shh!
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Be vewy, vewy quiet.
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I'm hunting wab--
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Go away.
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[TURKEY GOBBLING]
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[GOBBLING
"TURKEY IN THE STRAW"]
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[GUNSHOT]
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Thanks a lot, pal.
These are rentals.
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You'll be hearing
from our lawyer.
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Ye be not turkeys.
What be ye?
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ALL:
Tourist.
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I be Yakking Yak.
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I be Wakko Who Waltzes
With Wolves.
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[WILD SWING SONG PLAYING]
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And I be
Princess Pretty Dear,
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who moves like
a springtime-fresh gazelle,
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sweet as honey, and is sweet.
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But you can call me Dot.
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Or are you the kind of guy
who never calls a girl?
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You cad! I'm leaving you.
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I'm going home to mother!
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Nyah!
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And I'm keeping
the ring!
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And this is our pet.
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Say hello to Mr. Gobble.
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[GOBBLING]
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Hello.
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And goodbye.
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[SCREAMING]
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Hey, who do you
think you are?
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I be Miles Standish
from yon pilgrim colony.
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Nice hat, Miles.
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Hey, listen,
it's not too neighborly
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to shoot other people's pets,
you know.
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That bird I doth need
for our great feast.
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No, please. Not Mr. Gobble.
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Take me. Take me.
Go on.
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But spare the bird.
We love him so.
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Oh, please.
Spare the simple creature.
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[SOBBING]
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Congratulations.
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It pays to overact.
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You be strange creatures.
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We're not creatures.
We're Native Americans.
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Thou dost not look
like Native Americans.
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Confidentially,
we're adopted.
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Yeah, it's a heck of a story.
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Lost in the wilderness.
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BOTH:
We were raised
by a flock of turkeys.
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[BOTH GOBBLING]
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We'd like to
tell you more,
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but we're saving it
for a movie of the week.
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Who do you think should play me?
Valerie Bertinelli?
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I do not know this name.
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How about Nancy McKeon?
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Or Jackie Smith could be good
for a more mature look.
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[SCREAMS]
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Move away,
for yon bird is dinner.
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[GOBBLING]
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But he's our pet.
We love him!
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I care not.
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Why? Haven't you
ever had a pet?
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No. Well...
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yes, but...
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'twas long ago
when l was but a boy.
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My dear pet hamster.
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[SIGHS]
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I called him
"Petey Pajamas."
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[SIGHS]
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Yes, tell me
all about Petey.
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Oh, I didst love
that hamster so.
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I tooketh him to bed
with me every night, you know.
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Goodnight, everybody.
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Oh, golly, yes.
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And I did knit him
teeny-tiny pajamas to wear.
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He slept on my nose.
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I misseth him so.
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[SNIFFLES]
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My wittle Petey Pajamas.
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[SOBBING]
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There, there.
It's all right.
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Nappy-nap time for
our cranky pilgrim friend.
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Huh?
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YAKKO:
Sweet dreams.
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And stay away
from our pet turkey.
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[CRASH]
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[GROANING]
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This be
a rough neighborhood.
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[♪♪♪]
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Oh, fowl that be called turk,
I shall have thee.
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[WHISPERS]
Shhh!
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[GOBBLES]
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[GOBBLES]
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I doth hear it,
but doth not see it.
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[GOBBLES]
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[GOBBLES]
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I am baffled most verily.
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[GASPS]
[GOBBLES]
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There ye be.
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[GOBBLES]
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[GROWLS]
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[GOBBLING "TURKEY IN THE STRAW"]
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[GASPS]
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[PANTING]
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ALL:
Us again!
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ALL:
Mmm-mwah!
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Be gone, pests,
and give me the bird.
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00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,201
We'd love to, really, but
the Fox censors won't allow it.
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Say thy prayers, beast.
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[GOBBLING]
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[IRISH ACCENT]
Hut-hut-hut, wait, my son.
Is this the answer?
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Using a gun
on a helpless creature?
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Well, I--
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You might poke
someone's eye out
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with that thing.
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00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:53,758
And you'd break
your mother's heart.
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00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,260
Not to mention
Petey Pajamas'.
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00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,997
[SIGHS]
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Yak no more!
211
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,333
And give me back mine musket.
212
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,101
[CHOMP]
213
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,905
[MUNCHING]
214
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:07,906
[GULP]
215
00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:13,344
[GULP]
216
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,680
Mine musket.
217
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:17,381
Why, you little...
218
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,516
[GUNSHOT]
219
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,988
[BUGLE PLAYS "CHARGE"]
220
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:25,056
Ahh!
221
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:44,676
Who wants
maple syrup?
222
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,611
BOTH:
I do! I do!
223
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,283
It's made out of sap,
you know.
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[ROARS]
225
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[GOBBLING]
226
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,890
[SPITTING]
227
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:02,026
[GOBBLING "TURKEY IN THE STRAW"]
228
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:10,134
I doth have no musket,
229
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,137
but I shall still
naileth yon bird.
230
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:18,810
Nice shot.
231
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:19,911
Thank ye.
232
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,112
But it'll never make it.
233
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,614
Pray tell, why not?
234
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'Cause of the piano.
235
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:25,182
Piano?
236
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:28,285
[CRASH]
237
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,393
[BOTH PLAYING "CHOPSTICKS"]
238
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,910
Argh!
239
00:12:02,088 --> 00:12:03,087
[GOBBLING]
240
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:04,822
Oof!
241
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,638
[BLOWS SMACKING]
242
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:27,211
Whoa, dumber
than advertised.
243
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What be the meaning
of this? I-- I-- I...
244
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,788
Ooh, hey,
there's a surprise inside.
245
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,923
Why, ye-- I-- I...
246
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:43,460
Looky, Mr. Gobble. Supper.
247
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[SLURPS]
248
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,863
[GOBBLES]
249
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:48,365
Yipes!
250
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,267
Whoa, get thee away!
251
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,904
Desist! Forsooth! Gadzooks!
252
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,275
I can't watch.
253
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,244
[GOBBLING]
254
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,218
Keep it away. It be a killer!
255
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,520
[MOANING]
256
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,223
BOTH:
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
257
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,859
[WHIMPERING]
258
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:17,261
[GOBBLES]
259
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,766
I am finished with thee!
All of thee!
260
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,434
Now, hither, go!
261
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,702
Leaveth me be!
262
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,637
You'll be lonely
if we go away.
263
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,739
No, I won't.
264
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,240
ALL:
Yes, you will.
265
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,507
No, I won't.
266
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:32,343
ALL:
Yes, you will.
267
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,845
No, I won't!
268
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:36,147
ALL:
Yes, you will.
269
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,515
I wilt not be lonely!
270
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:39,717
Now, go!
271
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,499
[ECHOES]
Hello?
272
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:58,469
Hello?
273
00:13:58,471 --> 00:13:59,503
Hello?
274
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,005
Ist anyone there?
275
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,674
They kiddeth not.
276
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,276
I am...lonely.
277
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,678
I be lonely.
278
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,547
[SOBBING]
279
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,116
ALL:
Told you so.
280
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:13,885
Did you miss us?
281
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,352
ALL:
Mmm-mwah!
282
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:19,657
[GOBBLES]
283
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:22,794
[GROANING]
284
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,199
[♪♪♪]
285
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:34,605
We doth welcome
our native neighbors
286
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,040
to our great feast.
287
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:39,376
Now, what be this
thou hast brought?
288
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,478
Why, a great turkey,
of course.
289
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,447
[GOBBLING]
290
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,183
Then with this feast,
291
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:48,085
we shall give thanks
and call it...
292
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,720
um...
293
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,122
St. Patty's Day?
Halloween?
294
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,123
Arbor Day?
295
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,124
Shrove Tuesday?
296
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,125
Cinco de Mayo?
297
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,093
WARNERS:
How about "Thanksgiving"?
298
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,297
This be a great name.
299
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,298
[LAUGHS]
300
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,299
Thank ye.
301
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,134
Always glad
to be of service.
302
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,004
[BOTH GOBBLE]
303
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:23,387
[♪♪♪]
304
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,291
[♪♪♪]
305
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,867
[COOING]
306
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,269
[CHIRPING]
307
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,913
Mama.
308
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,014
Mama?
309
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,015
Mama!
310
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,016
[PLANE SOARING]
311
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,887
Mommy?
312
00:15:55,889 --> 00:15:57,288
Vroom.
313
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,455
Vroom.
314
00:15:58,457 --> 00:15:59,790
Vroom.
315
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,791
Vroom.
316
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,693
Vroom!
317
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,694
Whoa!
318
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,937
Mommy!
319
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,505
Mommy!
320
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,173
Wait for me.
321
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,544
[PANTING]
322
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,179
Mama? Mama?
323
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:24,348
Huh?
324
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:27,919
Wow!
325
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,057
[IMITATES GUNFIRE]
326
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,467
Oof!
327
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:45,436
ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Top Flyers.
328
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,139
Coming soon
to a theater near you.
329
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,548
Mommy! Wait for me.
330
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:03,854
Mommy. Mommy.
331
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,289
Oh, Mommy.
332
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:15,366
Mommy.
333
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,304
[SIGHS]
334
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:28,579
[GASPS]
335
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:44,761
Mommy, wait up.
336
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,207
Look. Eggies.
337
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,810
Eggy, eggy, eggies.
338
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,812
Hello, little brother.
339
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,281
Hello, little sister.
340
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,654
Uh-oh.
341
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,861
Oh, no, Mama. No!
342
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,633
Eggy gonna break.
Eggy gonna break!
343
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:28,906
Gotta save eggy.
Gotta save eggy.
344
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,641
[GASPS]
345
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,313
[EXPLOSION]
346
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,086
Uh-oh.
347
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,954
Eggy broke.
348
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,734
[PANTING]
349
00:18:57,736 --> 00:18:58,802
Mama?
350
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,471
[GASPS]
351
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,039
[CHIRPS]
352
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,545
Mama.
353
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:08,879
[SIGHS]
354
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:20,124
BOTH:
Mama. Mama. Mama.
355
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,225
[PLANE SOARING]
356
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:27,431
BOTH:
Mama! Mama! Mama!
357
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:30,634
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
358
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,403
No. Not Mama.
359
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,437
No.
360
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,239
Not Mama.
361
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,644
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom!
362
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,913
Kids.
363
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,285
Mama.
364
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,687
[ALL SIGH]
365
00:19:57,396 --> 00:20:01,132
[♪♪♪]
366
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,299
It's that time again.
367
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:04,568
To make fun of people
in Range Rovers?
368
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:06,803
To discuss how cute I am?
369
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:09,406
No. It's time
to learn the day's lesson.
370
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,208
And to find out what it is,
371
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,544
we turn to
the Wheel of Morality.
372
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,913
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.
373
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:18,616
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.
374
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,317
Moral number two.
375
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:23,086
And the moral
of today's story is:
376
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:24,988
Don't eat
with your mouth full.
377
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,990
That is so deep.
378
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:29,493
I'm still completely confused.
379
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:30,794
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
380
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,095
ALL:
Yike!
381
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:36,099
[♪♪♪]
382
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:42,606
[♪♪♪]
383
00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:05,829
Set three extra places.
384
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,031
ALL:
We're comin' over for dinner.