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NARRATOR:
And now Dot's Poetry Corner.
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00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:11,910
[CLEARS THROAT]
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00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,279
"Ode to Jack"
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00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,781
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
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Jack jumped over
The candlestick
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And burnt his butt
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Thank you.
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[PEOPLE
SNAPPING]
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00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,327
NARRATOR:
This has been another visit
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00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,129
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
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[♪♪♪]
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00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,601
ALL:
♪ It's time for Animaniacs ♪
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♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
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♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
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♪ You'll laugh
Till you collapse ♪
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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BOTH:
♪ Come join
The Warner brothers ♪
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00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,514
♪ And the Warner sister, Dot ♪
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ALL:
♪ Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot ♪
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♪ They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught ♪
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♪ But we break loose
And then vamoose ♪
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♪ And now you know the plot ♪
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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♪ Dot is cute and Yakko yaks ♪
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♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
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00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,630
♪ While Bill Clinton
Plays the sax ♪
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00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,699
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,035
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain ♪
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♪ Who want to rule
The universe ♪
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♪ Goodfeathers flock together ♪
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♪ Slappy whacks 'em
With her purse ♪
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♪ Buttons chases Mindy ♪
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♪ While Rita sings a verse ♪
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♪ The writers flipped
We have no script ♪
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♪ Why bother to rehearse? ♪
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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♪ We have pay-or-play
Contracts ♪
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♪ We're zany to the max ♪
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♪ There's bologna
In our slacks ♪
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♪ We're Animan-y ♪
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♪ Totally insane-y ♪
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♪ The rain in Spain-y
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♪ Animaniacs ♪
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♪ Those are the facts ♪
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NARRATOR:
It's time for another
Good Idea, Bad Idea.
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Good idea:
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cleaning up litter.
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Bad idea:
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cleaning up kitty litter.
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The end.
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♪ Like Abbott and Costello
Like Sonny and Cher ♪
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♪ Like Martin and Lewis
They're a perfect pair ♪
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♪ Like Laurel and Hardy
Like Fontanne and Lunt ♪
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♪ They're perfectly mismatched
They're Rita and Runt ♪
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[CRACK]
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[♪♪♪]
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[YELPS]
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Sacre bleu.
Cheesy, mon dieu.
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Put a little Blistex
on it, La Poot.
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Ho-ho-ho. He'd pitch a fit
if he saw you in here.
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But I don't care.
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I like company
for dinner.
Hoo.
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Here's a little
sausage for you.
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Runt. You ever hear
the word "share"?
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Oh, sure, Rita.
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She's a pretty lady
with tattoos.
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I won't even bother.
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Hey.
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Wah!
[GROWLING]
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Let go, you big mongrel.
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Whoa!
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Be kind to animals,
everybody.
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They're reincarnated
relatives.
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[SCREAMS]
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[GRUNTING]
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Runt. Gimme that.
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[GRUNTING]
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RITA:
So much for dinner.
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Get up, lazy
loafer boy.
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They are
getting away.
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Alley cat.
Mongrel dog.
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I am pitching a fit
all over you.
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You blew it, Runt.
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We had a one-way meal ticket
to Feed-me-ville.
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And you threw it all away
for a lousy game of chew-tug.
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Uh-oh.
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Definitely
"uh-oh."
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[GASPS]
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[ALL MEOWING]
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[BACK CRACKING]
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Look. I had puppies.
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Puh!
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They're not puppies.
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W-- what else
could I have?
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My head hurts.
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[KITTENS MEOWING]
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[PURRING]
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Poor little things.
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Abandoned, huh?
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Oh. Get used to it.
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KITTENS:
Mama.
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♪ Milk, milk, milk, milk ♪
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♪ Milk, please, Mama
'Scuse our 'tude ♪
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♪ But we're gonna faint
If we don't get food ♪
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♪ Milk, please, Mama
Mama, please ♪
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00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,128
Yup. You're a mama
with a family, Rita.
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00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,731
Like Vicki Lawrence.
Definitely Vicki.
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ALL:
Mama, Mama, Mama.
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00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:10,935
Or Meredith Baxter
Birney.
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Definitely. Definitely
a mom like Meredith Baxter.
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I'm nobody's mama.
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Back off!
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Mama.
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You got the wrong cat.
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♪ I'm nobody's mama ♪
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♪ Got no family ♪
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♪ I'm a career cat ♪
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♪ And my career
Is all about me ♪
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♪ No one can tie me down
I'm going places ♪
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♪ Straighten up ♪
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♪ Don't make those silly
Sad faces ♪
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♪ It's rude ♪
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KITTENS:
♪ Mew? ♪
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♪ All right, I'll get food ♪
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But that's it.
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After that,
you're on your own.
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♪ I'm too independent ♪
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♪ They're so small ♪
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♪ How could I care for them? ♪
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♪ Do I care at all? ♪
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♪ I could never stand
"Help me, Mama. Feed me, Mama" ♪
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♪ "Need me, Mama
Don't leave me, Mama" ♪
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♪ I'd never tolerate that ♪
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♪ On the other hand ♪
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"Oh, my, Mama
I love you, Mama" ♪
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♪ "I will never
Leave you, Mama" ♪
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♪ No ♪
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♪ You've got the wrong cat ♪
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♪ And did I mention ♪
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♪ They'll want
Too much attention? ♪
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♪ I'll worry about 'em each day
Every minute ♪
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♪ I gotta tell you
My head isn't in it ♪
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♪ I won't let my heart talk ♪
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♪ 'Cause it's ruled
By my biological clock ♪
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♪ Which is ticking away ♪
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♪ No way ♪
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♪ I mean what I say ♪
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♪ I'm a single cat stray ♪
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♪ I'm nobody's mama ♪
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That is that.
Au revoir, kitty cat.
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Ehh!
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[GIGGLES]
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[SNORING]
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[GROWLING]
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Oh.
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[ALL SNIFFING]
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[WHINING]
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Eat it, or I'll drop
your sweet little tushies
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in the pound.
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00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:41,953
Roseanne.
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Definitely a mom
like Roseanne.
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[KITTENS MEOWING]
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Oh, I love calicos.
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Little rainbows.
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Huh? Rita?
166
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Psst.
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What about
the puppies, Rita?
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Now they're hers.
What?
169
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,110
Oh. I see.
170
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,379
Where'd my friends go?
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00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,914
Oh. I get it.
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00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:10,915
They don't know you,
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00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,650
you don't know them.
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00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,319
I'll take you to
a mama cat downtown
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with oodles of milk.
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Ah, who am I kidding?
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It's me.
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[MEWING]
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00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,697
Bye, bye-bye.
180
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,331
Bye.
181
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,533
[SADLY]
Bye.
182
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:29,968
[SOBBING]
183
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:35,874
Bye.
184
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,478
[SNIFF]
185
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,179
It's, uh...
186
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,015
starting to rain.
187
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,425
You gotta admit it,
Rita,
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00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,060
those were
cute puppies.
189
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,829
I hate to break it
to you, Runt,
190
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,497
but they're cats.
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RUNT:
Cats? Where?
192
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,934
Where are the cats?
Why, I'll chase 'em.
193
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,236
I'll nip 'em. I'll munch 'em.
I'll tear 'em apart.
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[GROWLING]
195
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:09,574
Dogs.
196
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,909
[GROWLING]
197
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:20,351
NARRATOR:
And now Dot's Poetry Corner.
198
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,819
[CLEARS THROAT]
199
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:24,321
"This Little Piggy"
200
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,157
This little piggy
Went to market
201
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,959
This little piggy stayed home
202
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,327
This little piggy
Got her own prime-time sitcom
203
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:31,629
And it really kills me
204
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,531
'Cause I'm so much more
Talented than she is.
205
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,332
Thank you.
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00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,469
NARRATOR:
This has been another visit
to Dot's Poetry Corner.
207
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,073
And now the Warner brothers
208
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,609
in a scene from
Shakespeare's Hamlet.
209
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:47,445
Translated for those viewers
who, like Yakko,
210
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,414
have no idea
what he's talking about.
211
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:51,849
[GIGGLES]
212
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:59,156
Alas, poor Yorick!
213
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,392
Whoa, check out
skull head.
214
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,528
I knew him, Horatio,
a fellow of infinite jest,
215
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,698
of most excellent fancy.
216
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,999
He was funny.
217
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,402
He hath bore me on his back
a thousand times.
218
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,204
He gave me
piggyback rides.
219
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:16,741
And now how abhorred
in my imagination it is!
220
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,077
My gorge rises at it.
221
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,879
I'm going to
blow chunks.
222
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:22,947
Gah!
223
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,623
Here hung those lips
224
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,792
that I have kissed
I know not how oft.
225
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:37,328
We kissed
a lot. Not.
226
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,963
Where be your gibes now?
227
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,065
Your gambols, your songs,
228
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,500
your flashes of merriment
229
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,369
that were wont to set
the table on a roar?
230
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,538
How come you're
not funny now?
231
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,540
Not one now to mock
your own grinning?
232
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,308
Quite chapfall'n?
233
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,277
No one's laughing now.
And, by the way,
234
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,647
your lower jaw
is missing.
235
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,883
[SCREAMS]
236
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,057
Now get you to
my lady's chamber.
237
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,425
And tell her,
let her paint an inch thick,
238
00:12:08,427 --> 00:12:10,427
to this favor she must come.
239
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:12,130
Make her laugh at that.
240
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,430
Follow that woman
and tell her
241
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,767
no matter how much
makeup she wears,
242
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:16,768
she's still gonna croak
243
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,169
and end up looking
just like you.
244
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,704
And see if
she laughs.
245
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:23,541
Prithee, Horatio,
tell me one thing.
246
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,176
What did you find
in the hole?
247
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,611
Our next cartoon.
248
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,623
[PIANO PLAYING]
249
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,919
[CLAPPING]
250
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,655
[WITH LIVERPOOL ACCENT]
I taught 'em everything I know.
251
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,323
Huh?
252
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,992
Hey.
253
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,795
Come back.
254
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,848
I lose more gloves
that way.
255
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:27,632
[APPLAUDING]
256
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,479
[BIG BAND
MUSIC PLAYING]
257
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,443
[APPLAUSE]
258
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,239
[SHIVERING]
259
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,558
[TRAIN WHISTLES]
260
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,308
[ROOSTER CROWS]
261
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,745
[WHISTLE
BLOWING]
262
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,364
[RIPPING]
263
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,713
[PIANO PLAYING]
264
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,071
Ah!
265
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,387
Tomorrow I'll play
the xylophone...
266
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,255
with my butt.
267
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,896
NARRATOR:
It's time for another
Good Idea, Bad Idea.
268
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,732
Good idea:
269
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,304
playing the accordion
at a polka festival.
270
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:36,773
Bad idea:
271
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,844
playing the accordion
anywhere else.
272
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,679
[ALL YELLING]
273
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:47,484
The end.
274
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:53,657
It's that time
again.
275
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,159
To pretend to throw up?
276
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:56,160
To floss?
277
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,761
No. It's time to learn
278
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:58,762
the day's lesson.
279
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,097
And to find out
what it is,
280
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,899
we turn to
the Wheel of Morality.
281
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,270
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.
282
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,072
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.
283
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,007
Moral number five.
284
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,776
And the moral
of today's story is:
285
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,845
Early to rise
And early to bed
286
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,947
Makes a man healthy
But socially dead
287
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,350
Whoa. The mind boggles.
288
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,185
I don't know about you,
but I'm touched.
289
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,186
In the head.
290
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,753
[WHISTLE
BLOWS]
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00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,022
ALL:
Yikes!
292
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,664
[♪♪♪]
293
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,661
I can't think of the ending
of this show.
294
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,163
I can't think
of anything else.