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00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,807
NARRATOR:
<i> And now Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

2
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:11,910
[CLEARS THROAT]

3
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,279
"Ode to Jack"

4
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,781
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick

5
00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:18,950
Jack jumped over
The candlestick

6
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,619
And burnt his butt

7
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:21,887
Thank you.

8
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,389
[PEOPLE
SNAPPING]

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00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,327
NARRATOR:
<i> This has been another visit</i>

10
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,129
<i> to Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

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00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,499
[♪♪♪]

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ALL:
♪ It's time for<i> Animaniacs</i> ♪

13
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♪ And we're zany to the max ♪

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00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,006
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪

15
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♪ You'll laugh
Till you collapse ♪

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00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,077
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

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BOTH:
♪ Come join
The Warner brothers ♪

18
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,514
♪ And the Warner sister, Dot ♪

19
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,550
ALL:
♪ Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot ♪

20
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,186
♪ They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught ♪

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00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,887
♪ But we break loose
And then vamoose ♪

22
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,089
♪ And now you know the plot ♪

23
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,624
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

24
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<i> ♪ Dot is cute and Yakko yaks ♪</i>

25
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:03,929
<i> ♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪</i>

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00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,630
<i> ♪ While Bill Clinton</i>
<i> Plays the sax ♪</i>

27
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,699
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

28
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,035
<i> ♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain ♪</i>

29
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<i> ♪ Who want to rule</i>
<i> The universe ♪</i>

30
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:12,904
<i> ♪ Goodfeathers flock together ♪</i>

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<i> ♪ Slappy whacks 'em</i>
<i> With her purse ♪</i>

32
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<i> ♪</i> Buttons chases Mindy ♪

33
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,276
<i> ♪ While Rita sings a verse ♪</i>

34
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♪ The writers flipped
We have no script ♪

35
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♪ Why bother to rehearse? ♪

36
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪

37
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♪ We have pay-or-play
Contracts ♪

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♪ We're zany to the max ♪

39
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♪ There's bologna
In our slacks ♪

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♪ We're Animan-y ♪

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♪ Totally insane-y ♪

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♪ The rain in Spain-y

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♪ Animaniacs ♪

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♪ Those are the facts ♪

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NARRATOR:
<i> It's time for another</i>
<i> Good Idea, Bad Idea.</i>

46
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,339
<i> Good idea:</i>

47
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<i> cleaning up litter.</i>

48
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,147
<i> Bad idea:</i>

49
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,650
<i> cleaning up kitty litter.</i>

50
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,523
<i> The end.</i>

51
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,528
<i> ♪ Like Abbott and Costello</i>
<i> Like Sonny and Cher ♪</i>

52
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:12,497
<i> ♪ Like Martin and Lewis</i>
<i> They're a perfect pair ♪</i>

53
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,500
<i> ♪ Like Laurel and Hardy</i>
<i> Like Fontanne and Lunt ♪</i>

54
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<i> ♪ They're perfectly mismatched</i>
<i> They're Rita and Runt ♪</i>

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[CRACK]

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[♪♪♪]

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[YELPS]

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<i> Sacre bleu.</i>
Cheesy,<i> mon dieu.</i>

59
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,034
Put a little Blistex
on it, La Poot.

60
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Ho-ho-ho. He'd pitch a fit
if he saw you in here.

61
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But I don't care.

62
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I like company
for dinner.
Hoo.

63
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,911
Here's a little
sausage for you.

64
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:05,417
Runt. You ever hear
the word "share"?

65
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,418
Oh, sure, Rita.

66
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,386
She's a pretty lady
with tattoos.

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I won't even bother.

68
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,439
Hey.

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Wah!
[GROWLING]

70
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,045
Let go, you big mongrel.

71
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Whoa!

72
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,122
Be kind to animals,
everybody.

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They're reincarnated
relatives.

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[SCREAMS]

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[GRUNTING]

76
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,910
Runt. Gimme that.

77
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[GRUNTING]

78
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RITA:
So much for dinner.

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00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,285
Get up, lazy
loafer boy.

80
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,419
They are
getting away.

81
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,593
Alley cat.
Mongrel dog.

82
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,761
I am pitching a fit
all over you.

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You blew it, Runt.

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We had a one-way meal ticket
to Feed-me-ville.

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And you threw it all away
for a lousy game of chew-tug.

86
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:51,723
Uh-oh.

87
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,725
Definitely
"uh-oh."

88
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,235
[GASPS]

89
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,572
[ALL MEOWING]

90
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[BACK CRACKING]

91
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,817
Look. I had puppies.

92
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Puh!

93
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,925
They're not puppies.

94
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:30,027
W-- what else
could I have?

95
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,929
My head hurts.

96
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:33,931
[KITTENS MEOWING]

97
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,236
[PURRING]

98
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,008
Poor little things.

99
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,645
Abandoned, huh?

100
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,280
Oh. Get used to it.

101
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:50,114
KITTENS:
Mama.

102
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:53,084
♪ Milk, milk, milk, milk ♪

103
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,720
♪ Milk, please, Mama
'Scuse our 'tude ♪

104
00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:58,456
♪ But we're gonna faint
If we don't get food ♪

105
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,393
♪ Milk, please, Mama
Mama, please ♪

106
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,128
Yup. You're a mama
with a family, Rita.

107
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,731
Like Vicki Lawrence.
Definitely Vicki.

108
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:09,334
ALL:
Mama, Mama, Mama.

109
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:10,935
Or Meredith Baxter
Birney.

110
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:14,872
Definitely. Definitely
a mom like Meredith Baxter.

111
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,974
I'm nobody's mama.

112
00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,777
Back off!

113
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,044
Mama.

114
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,181
You got the wrong cat.

115
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♪ I'm nobody's mama ♪

116
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♪ Got no family ♪

117
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,926
♪ I'm a career cat ♪

118
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,796
♪ And my career
Is all about me ♪

119
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,966
♪ No one can tie me down
I'm going places ♪

120
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,601
♪ Straighten up ♪

121
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,937
♪ Don't make those silly
Sad faces ♪

122
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:46,938
♪ It's rude ♪

123
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:47,972
KITTENS:
♪ Mew? ♪

124
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:51,209
♪ All right, I'll get food ♪

125
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:52,276
But that's it.

126
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,278
After that,
you're on your own.

127
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,782
♪ I'm too independent ♪

128
00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,218
♪ They're so small ♪

129
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,186
♪ How could I care for them? ♪

130
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,223
♪ Do I care at all? ♪

131
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,860
♪ I could never stand
"Help me, Mama. Feed me, Mama" ♪

132
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,363
♪ "Need me, Mama
Don't leave me, Mama" ♪

133
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:15,132
♪ I'd never tolerate that ♪

134
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:16,133
♪ On the other hand ♪

135
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:19,971
"Oh, my, Mama
I love you, Mama" ♪

136
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:23,074
♪ "I will never
Leave you, Mama" ♪

137
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,877
♪ No ♪

138
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,713
♪ You've got the wrong cat ♪

139
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,082
♪ And did I mention ♪

140
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,885
♪ They'll want
Too much attention? ♪

141
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,855
♪ I'll worry about 'em each day
Every minute ♪

142
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,056
♪ I gotta tell you
My head isn't in it ♪

143
00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:41,793
♪ I won't let my heart talk ♪

144
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,596
♪ 'Cause it's ruled
By my biological clock ♪

145
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,865
♪ Which is ticking away ♪

146
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,467
♪ No way ♪

147
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,704
♪ I mean what I say ♪

148
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:56,708
♪ I'm a single cat stray ♪

149
00:07:56,710 --> 00:08:01,946
♪ I'm nobody's mama ♪

150
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:10,522
That is that.
Au revoir, kitty cat.

151
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,490
Ehh!

152
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,725
[GIGGLES]

153
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,796
[SNORING]

154
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,169
[GROWLING]

155
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,304
Oh.

156
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:35,713
[ALL SNIFFING]

157
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,882
[WHINING]

158
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,851
Eat it, or I'll drop
your sweet little tushies

159
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,952
in the pound.

160
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:41,953
Roseanne.

161
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,822
Definitely a mom
like Roseanne.

162
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,157
[KITTENS MEOWING]

163
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,059
Oh, I love calicos.

164
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,194
Little rainbows.

165
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,699
Huh? Rita?

166
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,367
Psst.

167
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,639
What about
the puppies, Rita?

168
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,875
Now they're hers.
What?

169
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,110
Oh. I see.

170
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,379
Where'd my friends go?

171
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,914
Oh. I get it.

172
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:10,915
They don't know you,

173
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,650
you don't know them.

174
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,319
I'll take you to
a mama cat downtown

175
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:17,655
with oodles of milk.

176
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,123
Ah, who am I kidding?

177
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,359
It's me.

178
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,361
[MEWING]

179
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,697
Bye, bye-bye.

180
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,331
Bye.

181
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,533
[SADLY]
Bye.

182
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:29,968
[SOBBING]

183
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:35,874
Bye.

184
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,478
[SNIFF]

185
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,179
It's, uh...

186
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,015
starting to rain.

187
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,425
You gotta admit it,
Rita,

188
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,060
those were
cute puppies.

189
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,829
I hate to break it
to you, Runt,

190
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,497
but they're cats.

191
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,065
RUNT:
Cats? Where?

192
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,934
Where are the cats?
Why, I'll chase 'em.

193
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,236
I'll nip 'em. I'll munch 'em.
I'll tear 'em apart.

194
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,237
[GROWLING]

195
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:09,574
Dogs.

196
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,909
[GROWLING]

197
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:20,351
NARRATOR:
<i> And now Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

198
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,819
[CLEARS THROAT]

199
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:24,321
"This Little Piggy"

200
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,157
This little piggy
Went to market

201
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,959
This little piggy stayed home

202
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,327
This little piggy
Got her own prime-time sitcom

203
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:31,629
And it really kills me

204
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,531
'Cause I'm so much more
Talented than she is.

205
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,332
Thank you.

206
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,469
NARRATOR:
<i> This has been another visit</i>
<i> to Dot's Poetry Corner.</i>

207
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,073
<i> And now the Warner brothers</i>

208
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,609
<i> in a scene from</i>
<i> Shakespeare's</i> Hamlet.

209
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:47,445
<i> Translated for those viewers</i>
<i> who, like Yakko,</i>

210
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,414
<i> have no idea</i>
<i> what he's talking about.</i>

211
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:51,849
[GIGGLES]

212
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:59,156
Alas, poor Yorick!

213
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,392
Whoa, check out
skull head.

214
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,528
I knew him, Horatio,
a fellow of infinite jest,

215
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,698
of most excellent fancy.

216
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,999
He was funny.

217
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:11,402
He hath bore me on his back
a thousand times.

218
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,204
He gave me
piggyback rides.

219
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:16,741
And now how abhorred
in my imagination it is!

220
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,077
My gorge rises at it.

221
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,879
I'm going to
blow chunks.

222
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:22,947
Gah!

223
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,623
Here hung those lips

224
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,792
that I have kissed
I know not how oft.

225
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:37,328
We kissed
a lot. Not.

226
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,963
Where be your gibes now?

227
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,065
Your gambols, your songs,

228
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,500
your flashes of merriment

229
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,369
that were wont to set
the table on a roar?

230
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,538
How come you're
not funny now?

231
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,540
Not one now to mock
your own grinning?

232
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,308
Quite chapfall'n?

233
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,277
No one's laughing now.
And, by the way,

234
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,647
your lower jaw
is missing.

235
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,883
[SCREAMS]

236
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,057
Now get you to
my lady's chamber.

237
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,425
And tell her,
let her paint an inch thick,

238
00:12:08,427 --> 00:12:10,427
to this favor she must come.

239
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:12,130
Make her laugh at that.

240
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,430
Follow that woman
and tell her

241
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,767
no matter how much
makeup she wears,

242
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:16,768
she's still gonna croak

243
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,169
and end up looking
just like you.

244
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,704
And see if
she laughs.

245
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:23,541
Prithee, Horatio,
tell me one thing.

246
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,176
What did you find
in the hole?

247
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,611
Our next cartoon.

248
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,623
[PIANO PLAYING]

249
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,919
[CLAPPING]

250
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,655
[WITH LIVERPOOL ACCENT]
I taught 'em everything I know.

251
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,323
Huh?

252
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,992
Hey.

253
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,795
Come back.

254
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,848
I lose more gloves
that way.

255
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:27,632
[APPLAUDING]

256
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,479
[BIG BAND
MUSIC PLAYING]

257
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,443
[APPLAUSE]

258
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,239
[SHIVERING]

259
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,558
[TRAIN WHISTLES]

260
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,308
[ROOSTER CROWS]

261
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:28,745
[WHISTLE
BLOWING]

262
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,364
[RIPPING]

263
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,713
[PIANO PLAYING]

264
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,071
Ah!

265
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,387
Tomorrow I'll play
the xylophone...

266
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,255
with my butt.

267
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,896
NARRATOR:
<i> It's time for another</i>
<i> Good Idea, Bad Idea.</i>

268
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,732
<i> Good idea:</i>

269
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:33,304
<i> playing the accordion</i>
<i> at a polka festival.</i>

270
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:36,773
<i> Bad idea:</i>

271
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,844
<i> playing the accordion</i>
<i> anywhere else.</i>

272
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,679
[ALL YELLING]

273
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:47,484
<i> The end.</i>

274
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:53,657
It's that time
again.

275
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,159
To pretend to throw up?

276
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:56,160
To floss?

277
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,761
No. It's time to learn

278
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:58,762
the day's lesson.

279
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,097
And to find out
what it is,

280
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,899
we turn to
the Wheel of Morality.

281
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,270
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.

282
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,072
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.

283
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,007
Moral number five.

284
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,776
And the moral
of today's story is:

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00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,845
<i> Early to rise</i>
<i> And early to bed</i>

286
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,947
<i> Makes a man healthy</i>
<i> But socially dead</i>

287
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,350
Whoa. The mind boggles.

288
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,185
I don't know about you,
but I'm touched.

289
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,186
In the head.

290
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,753
[WHISTLE
BLOWS]

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00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,022
ALL:
Yikes!

292
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,664
[♪♪♪]

293
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,661
I can't think of the ending
of this show.

294
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,163
I can't think
of anything else.