1 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,962 (BELL RINGING) 2 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:21,258 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 3 00:02:57,261 --> 00:03:00,012 I wish you wouldn't do that around me. It's so filthy! 4 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,922 Don't give me a problem about the cigarettes. 5 00:03:02,006 --> 00:03:03,641 It's such a filthy habit. 6 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,226 Oh, my God! 7 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,853 Look at this. 8 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:12,400 Oh, Jesus. Oh, this is so appalling. 9 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,528 GEORGE: Oh, I can't believe it. 10 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,072 I can't believe they gave it to him. 11 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,201 (CAR LOCKS) 12 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,247 HARRY: Ah, this is pathetic. 13 00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,541 Now he's a loser with a Jaguar. 14 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,586 Seriously, who did he have to blow to get that thing? 15 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,673 - GEORGE: Good morning, sir. - Mr. Willis. 16 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,091 It's really a... 17 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,509 HARRY: Mr. Trask! 18 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,511 Quite a piece of machinery. 19 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:43,097 - Good morning, Havemeyer. - Morning to you, sir. 20 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,348 Bene! 21 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,392 - Bene? - Bene! Fabulous! 22 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,768 What's fabulous? 23 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,062 That fine piece of steel you have back there. 24 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,231 Ah, you don't think I deserve it. 25 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,483 No, sir. On the contrary. 26 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,527 I think it's great. 27 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,238 Why should the headmaster of Baird be seen putt-putting 28 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,073 around in some junker? 29 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,618 In fact, I think the board of trustees have had 30 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,996 their first true stroke of inspiration in some time. 31 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,498 Well, thank you, Havemeyer. 32 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,667 I'll take that at face value. 33 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,836 I'd expect nothing less, sir. 34 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,255 Have a good day. 35 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,468 - Morning, Mrs. Hunsaker. - Good morning. 36 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,220 What have we here, Murderer's Row? 37 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,103 What was that about? 38 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,647 Nothing. Just saying hello. 39 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,941 I like to say hello to Headmaster Trask. 40 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,986 Sugarbush. Lift tickets and condo vouchers. 41 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,863 I thought we were going to Stowe. 42 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,907 Sugarbush is Stowe, Jimmy. 43 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,659 HARRY: This year we're doing it right. 44 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,495 Thanksgiving in Vermont, Christmas in Switzerland... 45 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,747 - Christmas in Gstaad is gonna cost us... - "Staad." 46 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,123 The "G" is silent. 47 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,708 "Staad." George? 48 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,293 - "Staad." - Trent? 49 00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:56,629 - "Staad," man. - So what about Staad? 50 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,464 Fine. The "G" may be silent, 51 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,217 but it's gonna take at least three grand to get there. 52 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,927 I'll have to talk to my father. 53 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,680 Better yet, have my father talk to your father. 54 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,723 Or my father talk to your father. 55 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,186 You going home this weekend, Chas? 56 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,106 I don't know. 57 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:17,817 You going home to fuckin' ldaho for Thanksgiving? 58 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,443 I'm from Oregon. 59 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,154 I meant fuckin' Oregon. 60 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,073 Charlie, how do you feel about skiing? 61 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,491 (LAUGHING) 62 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,369 You in the mood for the white-bosomed slopes of Vermont? 63 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:31,664 Got a deal going. 64 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,124 20% off for my friends. 65 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,667 My father set it up. 66 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,168 Christmas in Switzerland. 67 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,504 - Staad. - Gstaad. Dropping the "G" is phony. 68 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,131 You said everybody says "Staad." 69 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:41,674 Not if you've been there. 70 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:45,011 Easter in Bermuda, then Kentucky Derby weekend. 71 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,221 We could fit you in, kid. 72 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:51,183 Well, how much are these white-bosomed slopes of Vermont? 73 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:53,185 1,200. 74 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:57,440 Includes a nine-course, champagne Thanksgiving dinner. 75 00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:01,193 $1,200 is a little rich for my blood, Harry. 76 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,320 Well, how short are you? 77 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,489 How short, Harry? 78 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:09,201 So short it wouldn't be worth the trouble of you and George to measure. 79 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,953 But thanks for askin', all right? 80 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,246 Mmm-hmm. 81 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,998 If you change your mind... 82 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,417 What'd you do that for? You know he's on aid. 83 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,712 On major holidays, Willis, it's customary for the lord of the manor 84 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,036 to offer drippings to the poor. 85 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,465 You're so full of shit! 86 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,776 (DOORBELL RINGS) 87 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,826 Hi. Mrs. Rossi? 88 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,328 Yes? 89 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,330 I'm here about the weekend job. 90 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,167 Come on in. 91 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,628 (CHILDREN CHATTERING) 92 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,800 Does he got pimples? He hates pimples. 93 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,426 Francine, be quiet. 94 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,096 Pimples. Pimples. Yeah. 95 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,597 Shush! 96 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,558 I'm sorry. The school gave me your name, but I've forgotten it. 97 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,102 It's Charlie Simms. 98 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,145 - How are you, Charlie? - Fine, thanks. 99 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,396 Right this way. 100 00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:25,528 You're available the whole weekend? 101 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,821 Yeah. 102 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,781 - Not going home for Thanksgiving? - No. 103 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,116 Good. 104 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,246 They put him in a veteran's home, but he hated it, 105 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,456 so I told my dad that we'd take him. 106 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,837 Before you go in, do you mind my telling you a few things? 107 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:46,882 Don't "sir" him and don't ask him too many questions. 108 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:51,053 And if he staggers a little when he gets up, don't pay any attention. 109 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:56,392 (SIGHS) Charlie, I can tell you're the right person for the job. 110 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,145 And Uncle Frank's gonna like you a lot, too. 111 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,691 Where you gonna be this weekend? 112 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,943 Oh, we're driving to Albany. 113 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:10,114 Donny, my husband, has family there. 114 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,163 Do you want Tommy in or out? 115 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,747 FRANK: Leave him out! 116 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:22,459 He's chasing that Calico ginch from the track houses again! 117 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,468 Down deep, the man is a lump of sugar. 118 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,115 Sir? 119 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,075 FRANK: Don't call me sir. 120 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,660 (STAMMERING) I'm sorry. 121 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,370 I mean mister, sir. 122 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:02,541 Uh-oh, we got a moron here, is that it? 123 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,084 No, mister... 124 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,669 That is... 125 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,548 (STAMMERING) Lieutenant. Yes, sir... 126 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,550 Lieutenant Colonel. 127 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:15,804 Twenty-six years on the line, nobody ever busted me four grades before. 128 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,390 Get in here, you idiot! 129 00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:28,567 Come a little closer. I wanna get a better look at you. 130 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,787 How's your skin, son? 131 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,081 My skin, sir? 132 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,791 Oh, for Christ's sake. 133 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,752 - I'm sorry, I don... - Just call me Frank. 134 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,587 Call me Mr. Slade. 135 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:52,508 Call me Colonel, if you must. Just don't call me sir. 136 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,678 All right, Colonel. 137 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,889 Simms, Charles. 138 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:00,266 A senior. 139 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,101 You on student aid, Simms? 140 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,852 Yes, I am. 141 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,272 For "student aid" read "crook." 142 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,943 Your father peddles car telephones at a 300% markup. 143 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,779 Your mother works on heavy commission in a camera store. 144 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,782 Graduated to it from espresso machines. 145 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,200 (LAUGHS) 146 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:27,084 What are you, dying of some wasting disease? 147 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,213 No, I'm right... I'm right here. 148 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,675 I know exactly where your body is. 149 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,012 What I'm lookin' for is some indication of a brain. 150 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,557 Too much football without a helmet? 151 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:45,394 Hah! Lyndon's line on Gerry Ford. 152 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:50,482 Deputy Debrief er, Paris, Peace Talks, '68. 153 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:54,653 Snagged the Silver Star and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2. 154 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:56,655 G-2? 155 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,908 Intelligence, of which you have none. 156 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,539 (YELLING) Where you from? 157 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,750 Gresham, Oregon, 158 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:10,919 Colonel. 159 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,589 What does your daddy do in Gresham, Oregon? 160 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,008 Hmm? Count wood chips? 161 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,929 My stepfather and my mom run a convenience store. 162 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,099 How convenient. What time they open? 163 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,018 5:00 a.m. 164 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,186 Close? 165 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,604 1:00 a.m. 166 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,522 Hard workers. 167 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,483 You got me all misty-eyed! 168 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,615 So, what are you doing here in this sparrow-fart town? 169 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,868 (STAMMERING) I attend Baird. 170 00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:45,829 Attend Baird! 171 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,875 I know you go to the Baird school. 172 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,878 Point is, how do you afford it, 173 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:57,674 even with the student aid and the folks back home hustlin' corn nuts? 174 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:02,846 (SIGHS) I won a Young American merit scholarship. 175 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,348 Hoo-ah! 176 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:10,062 (SINGING) Glory, glory Hallelujah. 177 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:14,066 Glory, glory Hallelujah. 178 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,278 (KNOCKING) 179 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,488 Who's there? 180 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,865 That little piece of tail? 181 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,912 Get her outta here! 182 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,622 (FRANCINE GIGGLING) 183 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,964 Yeah. 184 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,759 Can't believe they're my blood. 185 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:50,060 IQ of sloths and the manners of banshees. 186 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,646 He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker. 187 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,107 He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen, 188 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,277 and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts. 189 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,780 As for the tots, they're twits. 190 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,409 How's your skin, son? I like my aides to be presentable. 191 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,164 Well, I... 192 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:11,957 I've had a few zits. 193 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,502 But my roommate, he lent me his Clinique 194 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,880 because he's from Chestnut Hill and he's got... 195 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,632 "The History of My Skin," by Charles Simms. 196 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,052 You patronizing me, peewee? Hmm? 197 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,056 You givin' me that old prep school palaver? 198 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,601 Baird School! 199 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:35,481 A bunch of runny-nosed snots in tweed jackets 200 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,108 all studyin' to be George Bush. 201 00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,196 Well... 202 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,990 I believe President Bush went to Andover, Colonel. 203 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,746 You sharpshootin' me, punk? 204 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,208 Ls that what you're doin'? 205 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,419 Don't you sharpshoot me. 206 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,963 You'll give me 40. 207 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,591 Then you're gonna give me 40 more. 208 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:06,345 Then you're gonna pull K.P., the grease pit! 209 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:12,059 I'll rub your nose in enlisted men's crud till you don't know which end is up! 210 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,061 You understand? 211 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,522 Yeah. 212 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,940 What do you want? 213 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,025 What do you mean, what do I want? 214 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,527 What do you want here? 215 00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,948 I want a job. 216 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,617 A job! 217 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,869 Yeah, I want a job so I can make, you know, 218 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,372 (CLEARS THROAT) my plane fare home for Christmas. 219 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:37,751 Oh, God, you're touching! 220 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,058 WOMAN ON RADIO: (SINGING) They used to waltz on the banks. 221 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,562 Of the mighty Mississippi. 222 00:14:56,646 --> 00:15:00,482 Loving the whole night through. 223 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:05,487 Till the riverboat gambler. 224 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,574 Went off to make a killin' 225 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,493 And bring it on back to you. 226 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,578 (MUSIC STOPS) 227 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:15,163 Still here, poormouth? Hmm? 228 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,544 Convenience store, my ass! 229 00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:25,841 Hustlin' jalapeno dips to the appleseeds. 230 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,552 Go on. 231 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,846 Dismissed. 232 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,475 Dismissed! 233 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,774 (RADIO PLAYING) 234 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:43,872 Evangeline. 235 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,853 - (CHILDREN CHATTERING) - CHARLIE: Mrs. Rossi? 236 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:54,453 Charlie, we're up here! Come on up. 237 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,374 - This is Donny. - Hey, Charlie. 238 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,043 Hi. 239 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:04,379 Mrs. Rossi, I got the feelin' I screwed up. 240 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,757 Oh, you couldn't have. 241 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,342 It was a bad interview. 242 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,385 That was no interview, Charlie. You're it. 243 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,722 You're the only one that showed up. You have to take the job. 244 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:18,435 He sleeps a lot. You can watch television, call your girlfriend. 245 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,063 I promise you, an easy 300 bucks. 246 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,067 (SIGHS) I don't get an easy feeling. 247 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,902 (SIGHS) 248 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,238 His bark is worse than his bite. 249 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,743 He was a great soldier, a real hero. 250 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,330 The man grows on you. 251 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,499 By Sunday night, you'll be best friends. 252 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,586 (SIGHS) Charlie, please. 253 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,673 I want to get away with my husband for a few days, 254 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,175 and Uncle Frank won't come with us. 255 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,428 Six months ago, he could sometimes tell light from dark, 256 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,389 but now there's nothing. 257 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:58,517 I just feel better having someone else around just in case. 258 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,441 Please? 259 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,946 Okay, Mrs. Rossi. 260 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,489 Sure. 261 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,866 (SIGHS) Thank you, Charlie. 262 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,368 Come here, you. 263 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,378 There you go. 264 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,839 GEORGE: Chas. Chas, hold up. 265 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,551 - How you doin'? - I'm good. 266 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,927 That's great. 267 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,555 This can't go out. This is on reserve. 268 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,893 Here's the thing. 269 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,771 I need the book tonight 270 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:48,400 for a Thanksgiving quiz with big-shit Preston in the morning. 271 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,819 Yeah, I know. That's why he put it on reserve. 272 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,195 This is our only copy. 273 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,614 Chas, I'm pullin' an all-nighter. 274 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,367 Without that book I'm dead, okay? 275 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,748 If it's not back by 7:30, it's gonna be my ass. 276 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,958 Oh, I promise. I promise. 277 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,844 - Got it? - Yeah. 278 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,819 Just a second. I gotta lock up. 279 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,825 Okay. 280 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,038 God, can you wait to get out of this dump or what? 281 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:51,463 Where you guys going skiing again? Sugarloaf or... 282 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,507 it's bush, Chas, Sugarbush. 283 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,310 (LAUGHS) That's my boys. 284 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,312 (WHISTLES) What are you doin'? 285 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,315 Keep your voice down! 286 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,651 I'll tell you about it in the morning. 287 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,945 (SHUSHING) 288 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,738 What... 289 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,199 Mrs. Hunsaker, have a nice day? 290 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,992 George, why all the noise? 291 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,661 (CHUCKLING) 292 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,497 (WHISPERING) It's Hunsaker! Go! Go! 293 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,666 I was just messin' around with Chas. 294 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:28,917 Good evening, Charles. 295 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,377 Hi, Mrs. Hunsaker. 296 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,301 - What was that? - I don't know, ma'am. 297 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,011 Who were those boys? 298 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,888 - Oh, who knows? - What were they doing? 299 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,807 Charles? 300 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,519 Did you make this scarf yourself? 301 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,145 No, George, I bought it. 302 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,940 - 'Cause it's a beauty. it really is. - Thank you, George. 303 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,776 In case I don't see you before the Thanksgiving holidays, 304 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,778 why don't you give me one of your big hugs? 305 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,280 - Oh, George! - Please? 306 00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,781 - Good evening, boys. - Come on. 307 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,283 Goodbye, Mrs. Hunsaker. 308 00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,974 JIMMY ON LOUDSPEAKER: Mr. Trask is our fearless leader, 309 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:30,353 a man of learning, a voracious reader. 310 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,816 He could recite the lliad in ancient Greek 311 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,321 while fishing for trout in a rippling creek. 312 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:44,659 Endowed with wisdom, of judgment sound, 313 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:49,164 nevertheless about him the questions abound. 314 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,710 (HISSING) 315 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:58,548 HARRY: How does Mr. Trask make such wonderful deals? 316 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:02,719 Why did the trustees buy him Jaguar wheels? 317 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,513 He wasn't conniving. 318 00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:08,099 He wasn't crass. 319 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,518 He merely puckered his lips 320 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,690 and kissed their ass! 321 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,901 (BOYS LAUGHING) 322 00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:37,045 Come on. 323 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,592 One more. 324 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:43,969 One more, come on! 325 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,432 (BOYS WHISTLING AND CHEERING) 326 00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,156 Fuck you! 327 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:15,375 TRASK: Mr. Simms, Mr. Willis. 328 00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:22,757 Mrs. Hunsaker says that you gentlemen were at a vantage point last night 329 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:26,261 to observe who was responsible for this 330 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:28,596 stunt. 331 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:35,895 Who was it? 332 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,065 I really couldn't tell you, sir. 333 00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:43,737 I thought I saw someone fooling with the lamppost, 334 00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:48,283 but by the time I pulled focus, they were gone. 335 00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:50,618 Mr. Simms? 336 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,955 I couldn't say. 337 00:22:56,167 --> 00:23:00,170 That automobile is not just a possession of mine. 338 00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:05,091 That automobile was presented to me by the board of trustees. 339 00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:10,388 It is a symbol of the standard of excellence for which this school is known, 340 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:13,224 and I will not have it tarnished. 341 00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:15,643 The automobile? 342 00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,773 The standard, Mr. Willis. 343 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,320 What's your position, Mr. Simms? 344 00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,489 On what, sir? 345 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:29,866 On preserving the reputation of Baird. 346 00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:31,868 (STAMMERING) I'm for Baird. 347 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:33,870 Then, who did it? 348 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:37,332 I really couldn't say for sure. 349 00:23:43,005 --> 00:23:44,547 Very well. 350 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:54,641 First thing Monday, I'm convening a special session 351 00:23:54,725 --> 00:23:56,976 of the student-faculty disciplinary committee. 352 00:23:57,061 --> 00:23:59,771 As this is a matter which concerns the whole school, 353 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,649 the entire student body will be present. 354 00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:05,276 There will be no classes, no activities. 355 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:10,865 Nothing will transpire at this institution until that proceeding is concluded. 356 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,371 And if, at that time, we are no further along than we are now, 357 00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:20,291 I will expel you both. 358 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:22,544 (CLEARING THROAT) 359 00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:28,258 Mr. Willis, would you excuse us? 360 00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,347 Have a nice Thanksgiving. 361 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,767 Thank you. You, too, Mr. Willis. 362 00:24:37,852 --> 00:24:39,144 I will. 363 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:46,818 (DOOR CLOSES) 364 00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:48,194 Mr. Simms, 365 00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:52,866 I'm not quite through with you yet. 366 00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:04,377 One of the few perks of this office is that 367 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:09,591 I am empowered to handle certain matters on my own as I see fit. 368 00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:13,094 Do you understand? 369 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,762 - Yes, sir. - Good. 370 00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:18,349 The Dean of Admissions at Harvard and I have an arrangement. 371 00:25:18,434 --> 00:25:21,686 Along with the usual sheaf of applicants submitted by Baird, 372 00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:26,774 of which virtually two-thirds are guaranteed admittance, 373 00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:29,611 I add one name, 374 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:34,824 somebody who's a standout and yet underprivileged. 375 00:25:35,993 --> 00:25:40,163 A student who cannot afford to pay the board and tuition in Cambridge. 376 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:46,336 Do you know on whose behalf I drafted a memo this year? 377 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:48,546 No, sir. 378 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:49,839 You. 379 00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:52,383 You, Mr. Simms. 380 00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:57,847 Now can you tell me who did it? 381 00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,893 (SIGHS) No, sir, I can't. 382 00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:06,147 You take the weekend to think about it, Mr. Simms. 383 00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:10,443 Good afternoon. 384 00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:14,948 What'd he say? 385 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:17,533 - Nothin'. - What do you mean, nothing? 386 00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:20,328 He said the same thing. He just said it over. 387 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,080 You know what he's doing? 388 00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:24,874 He's good-cop, bad-coppin' us. 389 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,627 He knows I'm old guard. You're fringe. 390 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:30,338 He's gonna bear down on me and soft-soap you. 391 00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:34,467 (LAUGHING) Did he try to soft-soap you? 392 00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:35,718 Did he? 393 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:37,637 No. 394 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:41,933 Chas, I detect a slight panic pulse from you. Are you panicking? 395 00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:43,434 Yeah, a little. 396 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:45,687 Come on. You're on scholarship, right? 397 00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:47,939 Yeah. 398 00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:51,150 You're on scholarship from Oregon at Baird. 399 00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:54,696 You're a long way from home, Chas. 400 00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:57,490 What's that got to do with anything? 401 00:26:57,992 --> 00:27:00,285 I don't know how it works out there. 402 00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:01,953 But how it works here? 403 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:03,788 We stick together. 404 00:27:03,956 --> 00:27:06,332 It's us against them, no matter what. 405 00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,251 We don't cover our ass. 406 00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:10,336 We don't tell our parents. 407 00:27:10,421 --> 00:27:12,130 Stonewall everybody! 408 00:27:13,257 --> 00:27:17,844 And above all, never, ever 409 00:27:17,928 --> 00:27:21,055 leave any of us twisting in the wind. 410 00:27:22,808 --> 00:27:24,475 And that's it. 411 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,270 What does that have to do with me being on scholarship? 412 00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:29,188 Hey, hey. 413 00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:32,066 I'm just tryin' to bring you up to speed, kid, that's it. 414 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:34,569 Thanks. 415 00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:39,032 I'll tell you what. 416 00:27:39,116 --> 00:27:41,909 Give me a few hours to figure out the moves, 417 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,162 and call me tonight in Vermont. 418 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:48,666 I'll be at the Sugarbush lodge, all right? 419 00:27:48,751 --> 00:27:49,917 All right. 420 00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:52,837 You all right? 421 00:27:54,048 --> 00:27:55,590 Yeah, I guess so. 422 00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,426 Okay. 423 00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:03,264 Try to keep him down to four drinks a day. 424 00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:06,184 If you can keep him down to 40, you're doin' good. 425 00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:08,853 We try to water them down a little. Do you know how to do that? 426 00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:10,897 It's a long ride, honey. 427 00:28:11,482 --> 00:28:13,441 Get the bags in the car. I'll be right out. 428 00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:17,153 Mommy, Mommy, don't forget Uncle Frank's walk. 429 00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:20,948 KAREN: Oh, yeah. 430 00:28:23,494 --> 00:28:25,995 You have to air him out a little every day. 431 00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:30,500 Why don't you go on back there, get yourself oriented? 432 00:28:30,584 --> 00:28:33,628 I'll come out in a minute, give you telephone numbers and stuff. 433 00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:39,801 FRANK: Well, I wouldn't try a thing like that unless I knew, would I? 434 00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:41,803 Just let me speak to her. 435 00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:44,138 Hello, beautiful. Is that you? 436 00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:46,307 Yeah, we spoke yesterday. 437 00:28:47,476 --> 00:28:48,851 (CHUCKLING) 438 00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:52,814 You have a glass of wine with lunch? You sound a little dusky. Hmm. 439 00:28:53,899 --> 00:28:55,233 (CLEARING THROAT) 440 00:28:55,317 --> 00:28:57,193 Just a minute, sweetheart. 441 00:28:58,821 --> 00:29:00,321 You're back, huh? 442 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:02,907 Tenacious! 443 00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:05,952 Get out my dress blues. They're in a garment bag in the closet. 444 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,578 Check the top dresser drawer. 445 00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:11,082 Take out the shoulder boards and affix them, shoulders right and left, 446 00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:13,626 ASAP. That means now. 447 00:29:14,837 --> 00:29:16,337 Hello. 448 00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:19,257 Sorry to keep you waiting, sweetheart. 449 00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,968 I'm not the kind of guy who likes to rush things, 450 00:29:22,052 --> 00:29:24,929 but I'm catchin' a 4:00 at Logan, I'm lookin' out my window, 451 00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:26,806 and there's not a taxi in sight. 452 00:29:28,016 --> 00:29:29,392 What happened to Chet? 453 00:29:29,518 --> 00:29:31,310 He didn't invest in a radio yet? 454 00:29:31,895 --> 00:29:33,312 Hah! 455 00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:35,523 Well, get your driver on it. 456 00:29:36,316 --> 00:29:38,609 Tell him to get a move on. 457 00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:41,154 Yes. Mmm. 458 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:45,783 Some kind of body has got to go with that bedroom voice. 459 00:29:45,868 --> 00:29:48,369 One day I'm gonna swing by, get a better look at it. 460 00:29:49,037 --> 00:29:50,204 You bet. 461 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:53,374 Bye. 462 00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:58,171 My Valpak's underneath the bed. 463 00:29:58,255 --> 00:29:59,672 Get it out. 464 00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:02,341 Put the boards on the blues and fold 'em in. 465 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,970 Are we going someplace, Colonel? 466 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:07,722 What business is that of yours? 467 00:30:08,515 --> 00:30:10,600 Don't shrug, imbecile. I'm blind. 468 00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:13,060 Save your body language for the bimbi. 469 00:30:13,937 --> 00:30:15,396 Now, get my gear out. 470 00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:19,066 KAREN: Francine, get in the car. 471 00:30:19,485 --> 00:30:23,237 It's almost 3:00. The goddamn Flintstones haven't left yet. 472 00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:26,908 DONNY: Willie Rossi must go in the car. 473 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:30,161 Here comes Mrs. Rossi now. 474 00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:31,454 Damn it! 475 00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:34,415 She said goodbye to me three times today. 476 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:38,002 What has she got, separation anxiety? 477 00:30:38,086 --> 00:30:39,921 Cut her off at the door. 478 00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:44,425 Hi, honey. Bye, honey. 479 00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:50,640 I wish you were coming with us. 480 00:30:51,266 --> 00:30:52,517 Me, too. 481 00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:53,935 Maybe next time. 482 00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:00,942 - Drive carefully now. - Yeah. 483 00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:05,238 Charlie, this is where we'll be. 484 00:31:06,657 --> 00:31:09,617 Good luck, Charlie. Don't let him drink too much. 485 00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:15,331 See you, Charlie. 486 00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:18,960 And no 900 numbers. He loves to talk dirty. 487 00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:29,470 FRANK: All right, let's get to work. 488 00:31:38,772 --> 00:31:40,648 L-buckles givin' you trouble? 489 00:31:42,693 --> 00:31:44,902 Never in the Boy Scouts, sluggo? 490 00:31:44,987 --> 00:31:46,654 I made Tenderfoot. 491 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,573 Tenderfoot, my foot! 492 00:31:48,657 --> 00:31:50,992 Convenience store mama's boy. 493 00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:52,994 Here. Let me take a look at that. 494 00:31:53,954 --> 00:31:57,331 Touch me again, I'll kill you, you little son of a bitch! 495 00:31:58,625 --> 00:32:00,126 I touch you. 496 00:32:02,212 --> 00:32:03,504 Understand? 497 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:09,051 My shoulder boards are in the top dresser drawer. 498 00:32:09,136 --> 00:32:10,469 Get them, son. 499 00:32:10,554 --> 00:32:12,555 The epaulets with the silver oak leaf. 500 00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:32,450 Are these the... 501 00:32:32,743 --> 00:32:34,535 Good. Taxi come yet? 502 00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:38,372 Colonel, where are we going? 503 00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:40,416 Where are we going? 504 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,668 Freak show central. 505 00:32:42,753 --> 00:32:44,712 - Where's that? - New York City. 506 00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:49,050 That's in New York, son. 507 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,135 New York State. 508 00:32:51,345 --> 00:32:54,096 Mrs. Rossi didn't say anything to me about going anywhere. 509 00:32:54,181 --> 00:32:55,389 She forgot. 510 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,225 Should we call her, 'cause I... 511 00:32:58,310 --> 00:32:59,894 You kidding me? 512 00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:03,689 Call her? By the time they get to Albany in that Hupmobile he drives 513 00:33:03,774 --> 00:33:06,025 it'll be opening day at Saratoga. 514 00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:08,319 Colonel, I can't go to New York City. 515 00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:09,570 Why not? 516 00:33:10,864 --> 00:33:12,239 New York... 517 00:33:12,741 --> 00:33:14,575 New York's too much responsibility. 518 00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,494 Ah, responsibility! 519 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,288 I had a lot of 17-year-olds in my first platoon. 520 00:33:19,373 --> 00:33:21,582 I took care of them. All set! 521 00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:25,294 How do I look? 522 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:28,923 Tickets. Money. 523 00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:30,800 Speech. 524 00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:34,970 Old Washington joke from my days with Lyndon. 525 00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,181 (CAR HONKING) 526 00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:39,266 (EXCLAIMS) I knew I could count on transportation. 527 00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:40,685 Are you ready? 528 00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,773 This is not Panmunjom. A simple yes will do. 529 00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:48,609 - Um... - Good! Here you go. 530 00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:50,528 Come on! Hop to, son! 531 00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:53,656 You're in front of me. Let's go. 532 00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:55,491 (MEOWING) 533 00:33:55,575 --> 00:33:57,368 Tomster, come here, boy. 534 00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:00,496 Come on. 535 00:34:00,580 --> 00:34:02,540 Here, Tomster, come on. 536 00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:04,917 Tomster, Tomster. Yeah. 537 00:34:06,128 --> 00:34:09,255 Remember, when in doubt, 538 00:34:09,965 --> 00:34:11,090 fuck. 539 00:34:14,428 --> 00:34:16,762 Good afternoon, sir. Where's our destination? 540 00:34:16,847 --> 00:34:20,015 Our destination, New York City, home of the brave! 541 00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:22,059 We got two for the shuttle to New York. 542 00:34:22,144 --> 00:34:25,104 I'm not shuttling anywhere. Look at those tickets. First class. 543 00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,897 Yes, sir, first class. 544 00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,983 Colonel, you bought me a ticket? 545 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:30,735 I never said I'd go to New York. 546 00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:34,780 Oh, what are you, some kind of chicken-shit, sticks to job description only? 547 00:34:34,865 --> 00:34:36,741 Gate 46, sir. 548 00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:38,325 As you were, son. 549 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:39,910 Thank you, sir. 550 00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:41,454 Which way's the door? 551 00:34:42,622 --> 00:34:45,624 Are you blind? Are you blind? 552 00:34:45,709 --> 00:34:46,959 Of course not. 553 00:34:47,043 --> 00:34:49,503 Then why do you keep grabbin' my goddamn arm? 554 00:34:49,963 --> 00:34:52,173 I take your arm. 555 00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:58,721 - I'm sorry. - Don't be sorry. 556 00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:01,348 How would you know, watchin' MTV all your life? 557 00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,517 - Gentlemen? - Yeah! 558 00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:08,230 - Jack Daniels. - You bet. 559 00:35:10,192 --> 00:35:12,026 And Diet Slice. 560 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:13,360 The old Diet Slice. 561 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:14,820 And a water. 562 00:35:14,905 --> 00:35:17,114 - Thank you, Daphne. - Certainly, sir. 563 00:35:22,871 --> 00:35:24,288 (SIGHS LOUDLY) 564 00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:27,208 - Mmm! - How did you know her name? 565 00:35:28,919 --> 00:35:31,587 Well, she's wearin' Floris. 566 00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,381 That's an English cologne. 567 00:35:35,592 --> 00:35:38,886 But her voice is California chickie. 568 00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:42,848 Now, California chickie bucking for English lady. 569 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:45,059 I call her Daphne. 570 00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:50,981 Oh, big things may happen to that little thing of yours. 571 00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:54,485 Look, Colonel, 572 00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:58,531 - I'll get you to New York, all right? - Uh-huh. 573 00:35:58,615 --> 00:36:01,408 Then I'm gonna have to turn around and come back. 574 00:36:01,952 --> 00:36:04,245 Well, Chuck, you gotta do what you gotta do. 575 00:36:05,247 --> 00:36:06,747 Charlie, all right? 576 00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:08,541 Or Charles. 577 00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:10,918 Sorry. I can't blame you, though. 578 00:36:11,002 --> 00:36:12,253 Chuck is a... 579 00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:18,300 So, why are we going to New York? 580 00:36:18,385 --> 00:36:21,929 All information will be given on a need-to-know basis. 581 00:36:23,390 --> 00:36:24,515 Hoo-ah. 582 00:36:25,267 --> 00:36:27,476 Where's Daphne? Let's get her down here. 583 00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:32,022 She's in the back. 584 00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:34,149 A tail's in the tail. 585 00:36:35,569 --> 00:36:36,777 Hah! 586 00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:39,029 Oh, but I still smell her. 587 00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:40,364 (SNIFFING) 588 00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:44,201 Women. 589 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:47,288 What can you say? 590 00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:50,249 Who made 'em? 591 00:36:51,459 --> 00:36:53,961 God must have been a fuckin' genius. 592 00:36:58,300 --> 00:36:59,675 The hair... 593 00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:03,220 They say the hair is everything, you know. 594 00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:09,018 Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls 595 00:37:09,477 --> 00:37:12,605 and just wanted to go to sleep forever? 596 00:37:14,316 --> 00:37:15,816 Or lips, 597 00:37:18,028 --> 00:37:20,070 and when they touched, yours were like 598 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:23,324 that first swallow of wine 599 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:26,327 after you just crossed the desert. 600 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,123 Tits! 601 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:32,625 Hoo-ah. 602 00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:36,170 Big ones, little ones, 603 00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:41,634 nipples staring right out at you like secret searchlights. 604 00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:43,928 Mmm. 605 00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:47,681 And legs... 606 00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:52,186 I don't care if they're Greek columns 607 00:37:52,562 --> 00:37:54,438 or secondhand Steinways. 608 00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:57,358 What's between 'em, 609 00:37:59,569 --> 00:38:01,153 passport to heaven. 610 00:38:03,031 --> 00:38:04,615 I need a drink. 611 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:09,954 Yes, Mr. Simms, 612 00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:16,251 there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing. 613 00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:23,050 Pussy. 614 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:25,511 Hah! 615 00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:28,806 Are you listening to me, son? I'm givin' you pearls here. 616 00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,182 (LAUGHS) 617 00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:32,601 I guess you really like women. 618 00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:35,229 Oh, above all things! 619 00:38:41,111 --> 00:38:44,530 A very, very distant second 620 00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:47,866 is a Ferrari. 621 00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:56,875 Charlie? 622 00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:01,130 Give me your hand. 623 00:39:03,383 --> 00:39:06,260 This is just the start of your education, son. 624 00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:23,444 Hoo-ah. 625 00:39:23,945 --> 00:39:25,320 Where are we? 626 00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:26,864 Where are we, eh? 627 00:39:27,449 --> 00:39:30,492 The cynosure of all things civilized. 628 00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:32,619 The Waldorf-Astoria. 629 00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:37,332 The last time I was here, Charlie, was with a G-2 from Brussels. 630 00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:38,834 Had a Ferrari. 631 00:39:38,918 --> 00:39:42,212 Every day I held the door open for the fucker. 632 00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:44,465 Never even offered me a ride. 633 00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,467 Well, fuck him. 634 00:39:46,551 --> 00:39:48,635 He's dead and I'm blind. 635 00:39:52,474 --> 00:39:53,974 Spread the word. 636 00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:55,225 Thank you, sir. 637 00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:57,227 And the intelligence will be forthcoming? 638 00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:58,479 Sir? 639 00:39:58,563 --> 00:39:59,980 On the escort scene. 640 00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:02,900 Yes, sir. 641 00:40:02,984 --> 00:40:04,943 And welcome to the Waldorf. 642 00:40:05,028 --> 00:40:06,361 Gracias, amigo. 643 00:40:08,198 --> 00:40:09,656 Puerto Ricans. 644 00:40:09,741 --> 00:40:11,575 Always made the best infantrymen. 645 00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:18,791 (CLINKING) 646 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,209 Oh! 647 00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:28,509 I'm home again. 648 00:40:29,511 --> 00:40:31,678 Give me an inventory on this, will you? 649 00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:39,937 All right, where am I, in Asia? 650 00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:43,107 He told me the phone was on the other side of the room, didn't he? 651 00:40:43,191 --> 00:40:44,566 By the windows? 652 00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:47,402 It's right here. 653 00:40:49,197 --> 00:40:50,531 Okay. 654 00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:52,574 We're in business. 655 00:40:57,539 --> 00:40:58,872 Get me the Oak Room. 656 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,668 How's that inventory comin'? 657 00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:06,547 There's Jim Beam 658 00:41:06,631 --> 00:41:09,133 and Early Times. 659 00:41:09,217 --> 00:41:11,051 Quartermaster's on the take again. 660 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:14,221 Hello. Is Sheldon or Mack there? 661 00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:18,350 This is Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade. 662 00:41:18,434 --> 00:41:21,812 I used to be a regular. I used to come in with a General Garbisch. 663 00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:27,109 Yes, that's probably because he's at Arlington, six feet under. 664 00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:30,696 Listen up. I want a table for two, and I don't mean Siberia, 665 00:41:31,156 --> 00:41:32,239 8:15. 666 00:41:33,575 --> 00:41:35,367 Clear them little bottles off. 667 00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:39,204 And when I get off the phone, call up Hyman. 668 00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:42,249 Tell him I want it wall to wall with John Daniels. 669 00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:45,627 (CLEARING THROAT) Don't you mean Jack Daniels? 670 00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:49,506 He may be Jack to you, son. But when you've known him as long as I have... 671 00:41:49,591 --> 00:41:50,966 That's a joke. Hello! 672 00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:54,052 This is Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade. I would like a limo, 673 00:41:54,137 --> 00:41:55,470 8:00. 674 00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:04,354 What are you drinkin'? 675 00:42:04,439 --> 00:42:07,608 Nothing, thanks. I don't use it. 676 00:42:07,692 --> 00:42:09,526 What's useful about it? 677 00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:14,406 I don't know. Listen, Colonel, I have to get going. 678 00:42:15,283 --> 00:42:16,825 Where you goin'? 679 00:42:16,910 --> 00:42:21,413 Back to school. I've got some real important stuff I have to take care of. 680 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,373 Very well. 681 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:27,544 But I never let my aides leave on an empty stomach. 682 00:42:27,629 --> 00:42:31,089 You'll dine with me and then my driver will transport you 683 00:42:31,174 --> 00:42:34,259 to the airport for the Boston shuttle departing at 2200 hours. 684 00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:39,223 Meanwhile, unpack my bag. 685 00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,350 I'm gonna christen the latrine. 686 00:42:43,937 --> 00:42:45,771 FRANK: What's your name, driver? 687 00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:46,980 Manny, sir. 688 00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:52,027 Manny. The bellhops at the Waldorf, are they any good at getting escorts? 689 00:42:52,111 --> 00:42:54,071 I wouldn't know, sir. 690 00:42:54,155 --> 00:42:55,614 What would you know? 691 00:42:55,698 --> 00:42:57,532 About what? 692 00:42:57,617 --> 00:42:59,326 About you-know-what? 693 00:43:00,828 --> 00:43:03,455 Maybe I could manage something. 694 00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:05,916 FRANK: I'm talkin' top of the line, now. 695 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,709 Let me think about this, sir. 696 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:12,714 (SIGHS) 697 00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:18,887 What's the matter with you? 698 00:43:18,972 --> 00:43:20,180 With me? 699 00:43:20,265 --> 00:43:22,891 Yeah. Car feels heavy. You know why? 700 00:43:22,976 --> 00:43:25,852 You got the fuckin' weight of the world on your shoulders. 701 00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,106 (SIGHS) 702 00:43:30,358 --> 00:43:32,567 I got a little problem at school, that's all. 703 00:43:32,652 --> 00:43:33,944 Spit it out! 704 00:43:34,028 --> 00:43:35,612 It's not a big deal, all right? 705 00:43:35,697 --> 00:43:37,656 Where we going, the Oak Room or somethin'? 706 00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:40,450 If it's not a big deal, why did you say real important stuff? 707 00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:43,704 What are you doin', banging the dean's daughter? Hah! 708 00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:47,833 I'm just in a little trouble. 709 00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,376 What kind of trouble? 710 00:43:50,086 --> 00:43:52,045 I saw some guys doing something. 711 00:43:54,549 --> 00:43:57,968 To tell or not to tell, or it's your ass. 712 00:43:58,928 --> 00:44:00,220 Hmm? 713 00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:03,307 How'd you know that? 714 00:44:03,391 --> 00:44:06,018 I'm a wizard. Give me the details, come on. 715 00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:10,772 (SIGHS) 716 00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:14,192 There's this guy at school named Harry. 717 00:44:14,277 --> 00:44:18,113 He's this real rich kid, and he like, runs the show. 718 00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:20,240 Who else? 719 00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:25,954 There's another guy, George, but George didn't do anything. 720 00:44:26,039 --> 00:44:29,916 George and I saw Harry and his buddies doin' somethin'. 721 00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:32,044 Now, the folks at Baird, 722 00:44:32,128 --> 00:44:35,255 they know you and George can identify the guilty parties? 723 00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:40,260 Yeah, they think we can. 724 00:44:41,095 --> 00:44:42,216 George is a friend of yours. 725 00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:45,182 He's not a friend, but he's all right. 726 00:44:45,266 --> 00:44:46,683 You trust him? 727 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:48,769 Yeah, I guess so. 728 00:44:48,978 --> 00:44:51,396 He's on scholarship, too? 729 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:53,815 No, why? 730 00:44:54,150 --> 00:44:57,194 We got George, we got Harry, we got trouble. 731 00:44:57,278 --> 00:45:00,113 They're rich, you're poor. You wanna get rich. 732 00:45:00,198 --> 00:45:03,575 You wanna graduate Baird, become a rich big shot like them. 733 00:45:03,659 --> 00:45:05,077 - Am I right? - No. 734 00:45:05,161 --> 00:45:06,953 It's not that way at all. 735 00:45:07,580 --> 00:45:09,122 Okay, Charlie! 736 00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:13,460 Here we are, gentlemen, the Oak Room. 737 00:45:13,961 --> 00:45:15,545 The Oak Room! 738 00:45:16,089 --> 00:45:19,049 Bring us a menu and double Jack Daniels on the rocks. 739 00:45:19,133 --> 00:45:21,051 Charlie, sit down here. 740 00:45:21,135 --> 00:45:23,929 Perhaps you'll feel more comfortable in this, sir. 741 00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:32,312 (WHISTLES) You look great! 742 00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:38,568 Thank you. 743 00:45:39,695 --> 00:45:42,864 Here we are, Charlie, the Oak Room. 744 00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:46,118 Now, read me the bill of fare. 745 00:45:46,869 --> 00:45:48,412 Let's see. 746 00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:51,832 You got the Oak Room burger and fries for $24. 747 00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:53,542 Where's the booze? 748 00:45:53,626 --> 00:45:55,168 Flowin' like mud around here. 749 00:45:55,253 --> 00:45:56,711 A $24 hamburger? 750 00:45:58,256 --> 00:45:59,506 What's the story? 751 00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:01,174 What story? 752 00:46:02,552 --> 00:46:04,469 Are you a rich miser or something? 753 00:46:04,846 --> 00:46:06,138 Hah! 754 00:46:06,222 --> 00:46:08,682 No, I'm just your average blind man. 755 00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:10,517 Your average blind man. 756 00:46:11,519 --> 00:46:14,229 How do you plan on paying for all this stuff? 757 00:46:14,856 --> 00:46:16,731 Crisp, clean dollars. 758 00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:18,275 American. 759 00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:20,318 I saved up my disability checks. 760 00:46:20,528 --> 00:46:23,613 How much did you save? I mean, we flew first class, 761 00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:27,033 we're at the Waldorf-Astoria, a $24 hamburger restaurant. 762 00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:29,035 All part of a plan, Charlie. 763 00:46:29,495 --> 00:46:30,745 You want to let me in on it? 764 00:46:30,830 --> 00:46:33,582 Why should I? You're not interested. You don't give a shit! 765 00:46:33,666 --> 00:46:37,961 You're leavin' on that last shuttle out of LaGuardia. 766 00:46:38,045 --> 00:46:39,880 Hmm? Ooh! 767 00:46:41,674 --> 00:46:45,177 You got 15 minutes, son. I don't think you're gonna make it. 768 00:46:45,261 --> 00:46:49,431 Unless the Oak Room keeps some complimentary helicopter on the roof. 769 00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:51,683 No, sir. No! 770 00:46:52,894 --> 00:46:54,811 You're here till tomorrow. 771 00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,523 You said the last shuttle leaves at 2200 hours. 772 00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:00,567 That's 10:00, right? 773 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,069 Last I heard, yeah. 774 00:47:03,779 --> 00:47:05,405 It's only 8:30. 775 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:07,908 I lied. Leaves at 9:00. 776 00:47:08,618 --> 00:47:10,035 It leaves at 9:00? 777 00:47:10,203 --> 00:47:11,870 Calm down. Calm down. 778 00:47:13,915 --> 00:47:15,290 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 779 00:47:15,374 --> 00:47:17,250 The truth is, Charlie, 780 00:47:19,170 --> 00:47:22,756 I need a guide dog to help me execute my plan. 781 00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:24,549 What plan? 782 00:47:25,927 --> 00:47:27,636 You have a right to know. 783 00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:32,098 It's not really a plan, Charlie. It's sort of a... 784 00:47:32,642 --> 00:47:34,601 More like a tour, 785 00:47:35,228 --> 00:47:37,646 a little tour of pleasures. 786 00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:42,067 Stay in a first-class hotel, eat an agreeable meal, 787 00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:45,111 drink a nice glass of wine, 788 00:47:46,697 --> 00:47:48,323 see my big brother. 789 00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:51,076 Nothing like family, you know. 790 00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:55,121 And then, make love to a terrific woman. 791 00:47:57,458 --> 00:47:58,875 After that... 792 00:48:04,799 --> 00:48:06,091 Yeah? 793 00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:12,973 I'm gonna lie down on my big, beautiful bed at the Waldorf 794 00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,891 and blow my brains out. 795 00:48:18,813 --> 00:48:20,564 May I tell you our specials? 796 00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:22,148 You may, sir. 797 00:48:22,692 --> 00:48:27,028 Tonight we have charred venison with buckwheat spaetzle and green peppercorn. 798 00:48:27,113 --> 00:48:30,740 Grilled veal paillards, tomato tapenade, and roasted eggplants. 799 00:48:30,825 --> 00:48:32,701 Get me a napkin. My mouth's watering. 800 00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:34,995 If you would like our creme soufflé for dessert, 801 00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:36,997 it would be a good idea to order now. 802 00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:41,042 Yes, on the soufflé. Give us a half a minute on the rest. 803 00:48:41,419 --> 00:48:42,877 Very good, sir. 804 00:48:44,839 --> 00:48:46,298 (CLEARS THROAT) 805 00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:49,009 I'm leaning towards the spaetzle. 806 00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:52,429 - Colonel Slade... - Charlie, rolls on the table? 807 00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:53,680 Give 'em to me. 808 00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:55,974 You should try these rolls, Charlie. 809 00:48:56,058 --> 00:48:59,603 I used to dream about them when I was at Fort Huachuca. 810 00:48:59,687 --> 00:49:02,355 - Colonel Slade... - Bread's no good west of the Colorado. 811 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,232 Water's too alkaline. 812 00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:05,775 Colonel Slade, did you say... 813 00:49:05,860 --> 00:49:07,068 (SNIFFING) 814 00:49:07,486 --> 00:49:09,279 Did I hear you right? 815 00:49:10,615 --> 00:49:12,949 You said you're gonna kill yourself? 816 00:49:13,034 --> 00:49:14,326 No. 817 00:49:14,410 --> 00:49:16,369 I said I was gonna blow my brains out. 818 00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:19,664 Try one of these rolls, Charlie. 819 00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:21,708 I buttered it for you. 820 00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:23,877 I don't want a roll, all right? 821 00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:25,712 Okay. Have a radish! 822 00:49:26,756 --> 00:49:28,048 Hah! 823 00:49:29,342 --> 00:49:33,428 Hello! Bring me a double Jack Daniels on the rocks. 824 00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:34,804 Yes, sir. Right away. 825 00:49:35,973 --> 00:49:37,265 (CLEARS THROAT) 826 00:49:37,683 --> 00:49:38,850 (MOUTHING) 827 00:49:38,934 --> 00:49:41,311 Please, don't do that. 828 00:49:42,521 --> 00:49:44,064 Don't do that. 829 00:49:50,780 --> 00:49:51,905 Hmm. 830 00:49:53,366 --> 00:49:54,783 (SNIFFING) 831 00:49:55,201 --> 00:49:56,993 What a marvelous place. 832 00:50:00,748 --> 00:50:02,082 Okay. 833 00:50:05,503 --> 00:50:06,628 Yeah. 834 00:50:09,340 --> 00:50:11,424 Your billet is here. 835 00:50:11,967 --> 00:50:14,969 You'll find bedding in the closet on the shelf. 836 00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:20,016 In the morning, the area will be returned to sitting-room mode 837 00:50:20,101 --> 00:50:22,435 no later than 0700 hours. 838 00:50:26,524 --> 00:50:27,899 What was that? 839 00:50:30,569 --> 00:50:31,778 Nothing. 840 00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:35,865 Next time snap it out! 841 00:50:38,119 --> 00:50:42,414 Thumb to palm, index finger through little digit, smartly aligned, 842 00:50:43,749 --> 00:50:46,334 sharp to the hairline, down! 843 00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:55,343 Too many men, far better than you, have executed that courtesy. 844 00:50:56,011 --> 00:50:59,139 And if you're smart, you won't try it again. 845 00:51:03,269 --> 00:51:07,647 This bat has got sharper radar than the Nautilus. 846 00:51:08,149 --> 00:51:10,608 Don't fuck with me, Charlie. 847 00:51:21,704 --> 00:51:24,205 See you get a good night's sleep, son. 848 00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:35,592 (GROANING) 849 00:51:36,385 --> 00:51:39,012 FRANK: (SINGING) It's a lovely day today. 850 00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:41,931 So, whatever you gotta do. 851 00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:45,268 You got a lovely day to do it in, that's true. 852 00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:53,777 Good morning, Charlie. 853 00:51:56,071 --> 00:51:57,822 (SIGHS) Good morning. 854 00:51:58,157 --> 00:51:59,908 This is Sofia, Charlie. 855 00:52:00,034 --> 00:52:02,285 She's a magician with a needle. 856 00:52:02,369 --> 00:52:05,371 Sofia's workin' me up a little Glen Plaid number, 857 00:52:05,498 --> 00:52:08,666 and I've asked her if she'd put something together for you. 858 00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:10,960 I don't need any clothes, Colonel. 859 00:52:11,045 --> 00:52:14,130 Standard issue for an upscale urban assignment. 860 00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:17,008 You don't like the clothes, Charlie, on completion of duty, 861 00:52:17,092 --> 00:52:19,135 you can give 'em away. 862 00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:22,806 Juice, coffee, and other assorted goodies on the trolley over there. 863 00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:25,099 Get yourself up, get yourself together. 864 00:52:26,227 --> 00:52:29,312 (SINGING) It's a great day forsingin' a song. 865 00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:32,732 And it's a great day for movin' along. 866 00:52:32,817 --> 00:52:35,401 And it's a great day from morning to night. 867 00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:37,487 And it's a great day. 868 00:52:38,906 --> 00:52:40,657 For everybody's plight. 869 00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:44,160 (FRANK CHUCKLING) 870 00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:49,040 How are you feeling today, Colonel? 871 00:52:49,124 --> 00:52:50,416 Super! 872 00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:52,043 Superior! 873 00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:53,753 Superfluous! 874 00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:57,465 Young Sofie here is working Thanksgiving 875 00:52:57,883 --> 00:53:00,051 because she's trying to put herself through college. 876 00:53:00,135 --> 00:53:03,179 I told her, "My young friend Charlie's headed for college." 877 00:53:03,264 --> 00:53:04,806 Excuse me. 878 00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:06,099 Where you goin'? 879 00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:07,809 I need to use the phone. 880 00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:10,103 What's wrong with the phones in here? 881 00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:12,272 I don't want to disturb you. 882 00:53:12,356 --> 00:53:14,941 You're not disturbing me. Make your call. 883 00:53:15,268 --> 00:53:16,693 I'd kind of like to be private. 884 00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:18,444 Stay out of my room! 885 00:53:19,655 --> 00:53:21,739 This is as private as you're gonna get. 886 00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:28,872 FRANK: (SINGING) But if you've got somethin' that must be done. 887 00:53:29,665 --> 00:53:33,126 And it can only be done by one 888 00:53:34,962 --> 00:53:36,170 Sofia, 889 00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:40,258 what are the chances of suitin' you up sometime? 890 00:53:41,927 --> 00:53:44,971 - WOMAN: Sugarbush Lodge. - George Willis, please. 891 00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:48,892 GEORGE: Hello. 892 00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:50,560 George! Hey, it's Charlie. 893 00:53:51,103 --> 00:53:54,272 Hey, Chas. Next year you gotta come up with us. 894 00:53:54,690 --> 00:53:57,650 White powder on a base of snow bunnies. 895 00:53:59,278 --> 00:54:01,362 Chas, are you there? 896 00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,740 Yeah, I'm here. 897 00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:06,159 You told me to call you for the moves. 898 00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:07,493 All right. 899 00:54:07,578 --> 00:54:10,914 For now, the move's no move, status quo. 900 00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:12,707 Everything's the way we left it. 901 00:54:12,791 --> 00:54:14,250 How did we leave it? 902 00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:18,087 See no evil, hear no evil. 903 00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:21,049 You know what I mean, Chas? 904 00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:25,511 Yeah. See no evil, hear no evil. 905 00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,974 Okay, then, walk like you talk. 906 00:54:30,059 --> 00:54:32,310 All right, bye. 907 00:54:33,228 --> 00:54:35,021 George Willis, huh? 908 00:54:36,023 --> 00:54:37,190 Yeah. 909 00:54:37,942 --> 00:54:39,442 George Willis. 910 00:54:39,526 --> 00:54:42,779 That makes his father probably George Willis, Senior. 911 00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:45,782 Charlie, I ask you, 912 00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:49,786 what do you think big George is gonna feel about little George 913 00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:52,914 seeing no evil, hearing no evil? 914 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:57,585 Well, we're not gonna tell our parents. 915 00:54:57,795 --> 00:55:00,713 We're just gonna keep it between ourselves. 916 00:55:01,382 --> 00:55:04,217 Oh, George isn't gonna tell his father about this thing! 917 00:55:05,010 --> 00:55:06,177 Damn decent of him. 918 00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:07,887 (EXCLAIMS) 919 00:55:07,972 --> 00:55:10,014 - Scusi, Colonnello. - Prego. 920 00:55:10,099 --> 00:55:11,891 I love it when you hurt me. 921 00:55:13,435 --> 00:55:15,228 Tell me now, Charlie. 922 00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:19,273 This George Willis, Jr., what's his father do? 923 00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:21,734 I don't really know. 924 00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:23,653 Well, I'm gonna tell you. 925 00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:25,822 When George Willis, Senior, 926 00:55:25,906 --> 00:55:28,616 isn't busy as a million-dollar man for Aetna Casualty... 927 00:55:28,701 --> 00:55:32,495 Or is it New England distributor for the Chrysler Corporation? 928 00:55:32,579 --> 00:55:36,582 He concerns himself with his young son, George Willis, Jr. 929 00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:39,919 George isn't going to say anything to his father. 930 00:55:40,004 --> 00:55:41,754 Oh, Charlie. 931 00:55:42,214 --> 00:55:44,465 Big George is gonna wind up little George, 932 00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:47,552 and little George is gonna sing like a canary. 933 00:55:47,636 --> 00:55:50,138 And if you're hip, kid, you're gonna hop to, too. 934 00:55:50,556 --> 00:55:52,682 You've got this all figured out, don't you? 935 00:55:52,766 --> 00:55:56,853 It don't take no Young American merit scholarship to figure this one out. 936 00:55:56,937 --> 00:55:58,980 Charlie, you had a little life, 937 00:55:59,064 --> 00:56:03,860 so you decided to go to the Baird school to put yourself in the market for a big one. 938 00:56:03,944 --> 00:56:05,820 Now, in order to stay in the running, 939 00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:09,741 you're gonna have to tell these people what they want to know. 940 00:56:10,284 --> 00:56:11,534 You think so? 941 00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:12,660 Are we finished, Sofia? 942 00:56:12,745 --> 00:56:14,412 - Yes. - Grazie. Grazie. Andate. 943 00:56:17,875 --> 00:56:19,417 Charlie, 944 00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:22,795 if you don't sing now, 945 00:56:23,464 --> 00:56:26,841 you're gonna end up, not only shelving biscuits 946 00:56:26,925 --> 00:56:29,886 in some convenience store in the Oregon 'burbs, 947 00:56:29,970 --> 00:56:32,805 but probably the last word you'll ever hear yourself say 948 00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:35,099 just before you croak, gonna be, 949 00:56:35,184 --> 00:56:38,978 "Have a nice day and come back soon." 950 00:56:39,063 --> 00:56:40,897 Sofia! 951 00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:42,732 Measure up Charlie, here, pronto. 952 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:44,776 We got a date for Thanksgiving. 953 00:56:45,444 --> 00:56:46,694 We got a date? 954 00:56:46,987 --> 00:56:48,821 My brother's place. 955 00:56:48,947 --> 00:56:52,116 W.R. Slade, White Plains, New York. 956 00:56:52,785 --> 00:56:55,161 Colonel, I can't go with you to your brother's place. 957 00:56:55,329 --> 00:56:58,331 I mean, I should be getting back to school. 958 00:57:01,210 --> 00:57:04,921 Well, you gotta have Thanksgiving somewhere. 959 00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,090 I mean, eats and treats. 960 00:57:07,174 --> 00:57:09,008 I can use the company, Charlie. 961 00:57:12,513 --> 00:57:13,888 All right. 962 00:57:13,972 --> 00:57:15,431 Does he know I'm comin'? 963 00:57:15,516 --> 00:57:16,933 He doesn't know I'm comin'. 964 00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:20,436 But wait till you see the look on his face when I walk through the door. 965 00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:22,063 Oh, he loves me! 966 00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:28,236 Oh, Charlie, about your little problem, 967 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,905 there are two kinds of people in this world: 968 00:57:30,989 --> 00:57:35,201 those who stand up and face the music, and those who run for cover. 969 00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:36,828 Cover's better. 970 00:57:36,912 --> 00:57:39,038 Okay, Sofia, suit him up! 971 00:57:39,123 --> 00:57:40,748 Make him pretty. 972 00:57:57,224 --> 00:57:58,808 Careful. 973 00:58:00,102 --> 00:58:02,061 - Should I ring it? - Yeah. 974 00:58:10,904 --> 00:58:13,156 - Yes? - Yes! 975 00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:14,740 Who is this? 976 00:58:15,117 --> 00:58:16,617 It's Randy. 977 00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:18,619 Randy? You new? 978 00:58:19,705 --> 00:58:21,080 I'm your nephew. 979 00:58:21,165 --> 00:58:23,583 Hah! Here I am! 980 00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:25,668 Your sister's been hoarding me long enough. 981 00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:28,713 Thought it's time to spread the riches around. 982 00:58:29,131 --> 00:58:31,382 - Uncle Frank. - Gloria! 983 00:58:31,466 --> 00:58:33,426 - Gail. - Of course. 984 00:58:34,261 --> 00:58:37,054 Say hello to the potluck party from New York City. 985 00:58:37,139 --> 00:58:40,516 Good old Uncle Frank and this here with him is Charlie Simms, 986 00:58:40,601 --> 00:58:43,436 star halfback of the Baird football team. 987 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:47,398 They not only beat Exeter and Groton, but Aquinas High School, too. 988 00:58:48,317 --> 00:58:50,067 Where's your miserable father? 989 00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:52,403 Wait! No, no. Let's surprise him. 990 00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:56,115 Give that fat heart of his an attack. Willie! 991 00:58:58,118 --> 00:58:59,577 Ho, Willie! 992 00:59:12,799 --> 00:59:14,300 Hello, Frank. 993 00:59:14,843 --> 00:59:17,053 - How you doin'? - Okay. 994 00:59:17,137 --> 00:59:18,554 Here's my hand. 995 00:59:20,182 --> 00:59:22,433 Charlie, meet W.R. Slade. 996 00:59:22,601 --> 00:59:23,893 Nice to meet you, sir. 997 00:59:23,977 --> 00:59:26,729 The original bulging briefcase man. 998 00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:29,565 Gretchen, I smell those prunes! 999 00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:31,734 - We talkin' turkey Marbella? - Yes, we are. 1000 00:59:31,860 --> 00:59:33,236 (WHOOPS) 1001 00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:36,614 Let's have a whiff. Come on. 1002 00:59:36,698 --> 00:59:38,738 You know, I always had a sneaker for you. Come here. 1003 00:59:38,784 --> 00:59:39,784 (SNIFFING) 1004 00:59:39,868 --> 00:59:41,118 (COUGHS) 1005 00:59:41,453 --> 00:59:42,703 (EXCLAIMS) 1006 00:59:42,955 --> 00:59:45,448 - Where are you, Garry? I heard you cough. - GARRY: Right here. 1007 00:59:45,532 --> 00:59:47,158 Who are you again? 1008 00:59:47,209 --> 00:59:51,921 I'm here at the Waldorf with... Is it your brother? 1009 00:59:52,005 --> 00:59:54,507 W.R.'s final issue. How ya doin', son? 1010 00:59:54,591 --> 00:59:57,093 Yeah, sure, Frank's my brother. Who the hell are you? 1011 00:59:57,844 --> 00:59:59,845 I'm takin' care of him for the weekend. 1012 00:59:59,930 --> 01:00:01,097 Charlie. 1013 01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:04,141 Sorry. 1014 01:00:04,768 --> 01:00:06,352 Where's the booze? 1015 01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:07,937 Flowin' like mud here. 1016 01:00:08,021 --> 01:00:11,691 To tell the truth, the Colonel's not well, I don't think. 1017 01:00:12,150 --> 01:00:13,359 Not well? 1018 01:00:13,735 --> 01:00:15,736 I think he's a little lonely. 1019 01:00:16,321 --> 01:00:18,447 Why didn't you take him to your family's for dinner? 1020 01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:20,032 I heard that! 1021 01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:23,369 I heard that. 1022 01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:26,622 Pay no attention to him, Charlie. That's just big-brother talk. 1023 01:00:26,707 --> 01:00:29,292 He's been watching out for me since day one. 1024 01:00:29,376 --> 01:00:34,297 Bailed me out of more trouble than he'd like to remember. Hmm? 1025 01:00:34,381 --> 01:00:36,257 GRETCHEN: Here, let me take your coat. 1026 01:00:37,384 --> 01:00:40,511 I meant to pick up some vino on my way up, but I blew it. 1027 01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:43,139 I'll send you the Rothschild again for Christmas, 1028 01:00:43,223 --> 01:00:45,599 only let's see how Thanksgiving goes. 1029 01:00:45,684 --> 01:00:47,101 I'll set two more places. 1030 01:00:47,185 --> 01:00:48,561 Here's your drink, Frank. 1031 01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:50,438 Oh, thank you, Randy. 1032 01:00:50,522 --> 01:00:52,732 Still with Snow Queen Sugar? 1033 01:00:53,317 --> 01:00:56,902 Snow Flake. Why do you always get that wrong? 1034 01:00:57,237 --> 01:00:59,280 Because it's not important for me to get it right. 1035 01:00:59,364 --> 01:01:00,990 What are you doing there now? 1036 01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:03,576 I'm vice president for marketing. 1037 01:01:03,744 --> 01:01:06,412 Hoo-ah! Congratulations! 1038 01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:08,039 Sugar is shit, though. 1039 01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:11,334 I told General Abrams, install honey in the commissaries. 1040 01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:15,171 If K-50s didn't blow your brains out, sugar, sure as shit, was gonna. 1041 01:01:15,255 --> 01:01:16,422 (FRANK LAUGHS) 1042 01:01:16,506 --> 01:01:17,546 Why don't we all sit down? 1043 01:01:17,591 --> 01:01:18,632 Ooh. (SNIFFING) 1044 01:01:18,717 --> 01:01:22,511 Mitsouki. Rhymes with nookie. Be careful. 1045 01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:25,348 When the wife gets restless, the wife gets racy. 1046 01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:27,016 Well, let's go and eat, shall we? 1047 01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:28,517 By all means. 1048 01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:31,729 Thank you, Charlie. 1049 01:01:31,813 --> 01:01:35,900 Where you wanna sit, Frank? At the head again? 1050 01:01:35,984 --> 01:01:39,779 Any old card table will do. This is fine. 1051 01:01:41,656 --> 01:01:43,032 Where was I? Oh. 1052 01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:46,369 So, I wake up. it's 4:00 in the morning. I don't know who I'm with 1053 01:01:46,453 --> 01:01:48,788 or why I'm there, or where I am. 1054 01:01:49,373 --> 01:01:52,249 What am I gonna do? I got this Asian flower 1055 01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:56,629 on one hand, all giggly and dewy-like, 1056 01:01:57,047 --> 01:02:01,050 and this hard-boiled Navy nurse outta Omaha, on the other. 1057 01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:04,887 We're three across the bed, not a stitch of clothes on. 1058 01:02:05,389 --> 01:02:06,764 It comes to me. 1059 01:02:07,808 --> 01:02:12,144 Let east meet west. We'll build a golden bridge. 1060 01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:14,146 (FRANK CHUCKLES) 1061 01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:17,233 I felt like I'd just joined the corps of engineers! 1062 01:02:23,323 --> 01:02:24,990 We all still here? 1063 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:27,952 It's a beautiful story. 1064 01:02:30,330 --> 01:02:34,083 Do you always enjoy shocking people, Uncle Frank? 1065 01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:35,251 Honey... 1066 01:02:35,335 --> 01:02:37,753 I didn't know you were so easily shocked, Randy. 1067 01:02:37,838 --> 01:02:40,047 I admire your sensibilities, I'm touched. 1068 01:02:40,132 --> 01:02:43,092 Dad, remember the time you persuaded Frank 1069 01:02:43,176 --> 01:02:45,261 to go to the kennel? 1070 01:02:45,345 --> 01:02:46,429 What about it? 1071 01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:48,764 He almost put the seeing eye dog business outta business. 1072 01:02:48,849 --> 01:02:50,015 Cool it, Randy. 1073 01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:51,976 It's over and done with. 1074 01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:54,270 FRANK: indeed it is, Garry. 1075 01:02:54,354 --> 01:02:56,439 Indeed it is. So is dinner. 1076 01:02:56,523 --> 01:02:58,107 Charlie, what time you have? 1077 01:02:58,191 --> 01:02:59,692 I think we better be gettin' back. 1078 01:02:59,776 --> 01:03:02,862 You ever given any thought to a Braille watch, Frank? 1079 01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:03,946 Randy... 1080 01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:07,575 Stevie Wonder wears one, or do you rank on him, too? 1081 01:03:07,659 --> 01:03:08,784 Honey, please. 1082 01:03:08,869 --> 01:03:11,162 It's all right, Gloria. I enjoy Randy's observations. 1083 01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:13,372 My wife's name is Gail, Frank. 1084 01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:15,332 Can you hear that? Gail. 1085 01:03:15,417 --> 01:03:17,710 Excuse me. Gail. 1086 01:03:18,462 --> 01:03:21,338 Gail strikes me as a very beautiful woman, 1087 01:03:21,423 --> 01:03:24,175 but, you know, there's a little tension in her voice. 1088 01:03:24,259 --> 01:03:27,011 I don't know what it is. It could be one of two things, 1089 01:03:27,095 --> 01:03:29,722 either Gail is nervous or unsatisfied. 1090 01:03:31,975 --> 01:03:33,559 What's your point, Uncle Frank? 1091 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,102 You ought to go down on her. 1092 01:03:35,187 --> 01:03:37,438 - (CLINKS) - Cut it out, Frank, will ya? 1093 01:03:37,522 --> 01:03:41,650 You've gotten so wrapped up in sugar, you forgotten the taste of real honey! 1094 01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:43,194 Frank, for God's sake! 1095 01:03:43,278 --> 01:03:44,361 Hear that voice? 1096 01:03:44,446 --> 01:03:45,988 There's fire under that dress. 1097 01:03:46,072 --> 01:03:48,199 - Will you cut it out? - Just get the fuck outta here. 1098 01:03:48,283 --> 01:03:50,242 - Hoo-ah! - RANDY: Get in your limousine. 1099 01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:54,371 Go down to the Bowery. Get with the other fucking drunks, where you belong! 1100 01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:55,539 Wait a minute. 1101 01:03:55,624 --> 01:03:57,416 - What? - Can you take it easy? 1102 01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:58,584 RANDY: What for? 1103 01:03:58,668 --> 01:04:02,171 You want me to lay off him, Chucky, 'cause he's blind? 1104 01:04:02,714 --> 01:04:03,672 No, but... 1105 01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:05,758 My friend's name is Charles. 1106 01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:07,760 He doesn't like to be called Chucky. 1107 01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:10,221 This is supposed to be a family get-together. 1108 01:04:10,305 --> 01:04:11,639 Just a warning. 1109 01:04:11,723 --> 01:04:15,518 Jesus Christ, another sucker who thinks this shit-heel's a war hero. 1110 01:04:15,644 --> 01:04:16,727 Hoo-ah! 1111 01:04:19,231 --> 01:04:21,857 Well, once, maybe. 1112 01:04:23,026 --> 01:04:26,278 I suppose he told you about his days on Lyndon Johnson's staff? 1113 01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:28,948 I was gonna go. Now I'm not leaving. Hah! 1114 01:04:29,658 --> 01:04:31,909 Frank was earmarked for general. 1115 01:04:32,285 --> 01:04:34,078 Earmarked, good word. 1116 01:04:34,371 --> 01:04:36,539 Frank likes to spit in everybody's eye! 1117 01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:37,873 Randy, that's enough. 1118 01:04:37,958 --> 01:04:42,294 So they, what do they call it, when they give you the shaft in the military? 1119 01:04:42,379 --> 01:04:43,671 Passed over! 1120 01:04:43,755 --> 01:04:46,674 Right, Frank was passed over for promotion. 1121 01:04:47,467 --> 01:04:48,884 Couple times. 1122 01:04:53,056 --> 01:04:54,481 You wanna know what happened then? 1123 01:04:54,566 --> 01:04:55,724 Will you shut your mouth? 1124 01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:57,142 He blew himself up. 1125 01:04:57,227 --> 01:04:58,644 Stop it, Randy. 1126 01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,897 Our Colonel here had a grenade juggling act 1127 01:05:01,982 --> 01:05:04,400 at Fort Bragg, or wherever it was they dumped him. 1128 01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:05,484 Fort Benning. 1129 01:05:05,569 --> 01:05:08,404 He was teaching hand-to-hand combat to second lieutenants... 1130 01:05:08,488 --> 01:05:10,948 Randy, look at me when you're talking to me, now, son. 1131 01:05:11,032 --> 01:05:15,286 I'm lookin', Frank. His partner in the act was some captain. 1132 01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:16,912 Major Vincent Squires. 1133 01:05:16,997 --> 01:05:18,163 RANDY: Whoever he was. 1134 01:05:18,248 --> 01:05:20,916 Before going on, they'd have a lo-cal breakfast, 1135 01:05:21,001 --> 01:05:23,794 a screwdriver for Frank, bloody mary for his partner. 1136 01:05:23,878 --> 01:05:25,629 No, Vincent drank Sea Breezes. 1137 01:05:25,714 --> 01:05:30,843 The Judge Advocate at Benning said Colonel Slade had four to his partner's one. 1138 01:05:30,927 --> 01:05:34,555 He's really flying in class. He gets all excited. 1139 01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:36,974 He starts pulling the pins out. 1140 01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:41,687 One grenade got away from him. 1141 01:05:42,022 --> 01:05:43,188 Boom. 1142 01:05:45,984 --> 01:05:47,693 The one that got away. 1143 01:05:47,777 --> 01:05:50,404 RANDY: The pin was in, Frank claims. 1144 01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:53,991 In or out, what difference does it make? 1145 01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:56,952 What kind of fucking lunatic juggles grenades? 1146 01:05:57,662 --> 01:05:58,912 Vinnie came out okay. 1147 01:05:58,997 --> 01:06:01,206 All Frank lost was his eyesight. 1148 01:06:05,587 --> 01:06:06,712 You wanna know the truth? 1149 01:06:06,796 --> 01:06:08,297 Got a handle on that, do you? 1150 01:06:08,381 --> 01:06:09,798 He was an asshole before. 1151 01:06:09,883 --> 01:06:11,133 Hoo-ah! 1152 01:06:12,844 --> 01:06:15,304 Now all he is, is a blind asshole. 1153 01:06:15,513 --> 01:06:16,680 Hoo-ah. 1154 01:06:23,021 --> 01:06:25,564 Hey, God's a funny guy. 1155 01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:30,027 God doth have a sense of humor. 1156 01:06:32,822 --> 01:06:36,116 Maybe God thinks some people don't deserve to see. 1157 01:06:37,369 --> 01:06:38,661 (FAINTLY) Hoo-ah. 1158 01:06:40,038 --> 01:06:41,121 (EXCLAIMS) 1159 01:06:43,166 --> 01:06:45,501 You get the point, Chucky? 1160 01:06:47,295 --> 01:06:48,337 (GROANS) 1161 01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:50,381 (WOMEN SCREAMING) 1162 01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:52,257 His name is Charles. 1163 01:06:52,926 --> 01:06:55,010 You can say that, can't you? Charles. 1164 01:06:55,095 --> 01:06:57,513 Know what this is, Randy? It's a Ranger choke hold. 1165 01:06:57,597 --> 01:06:59,973 - From teaching those lieutenants. - Colonel, let go. 1166 01:07:00,058 --> 01:07:01,934 Little pressure, I bust your windpipe. 1167 01:07:02,019 --> 01:07:04,269 - CHARLIE: I don't care what he said to me. - After me. 1168 01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:05,521 Charles. 1169 01:07:05,605 --> 01:07:07,272 Just let go, please! 1170 01:07:07,399 --> 01:07:08,941 (CHOKING) 1171 01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:28,544 Gretchen? 1172 01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:31,839 You outdid yourself. 1173 01:07:33,925 --> 01:07:38,387 If you twist my arm hard enough, we're talking turkey Marbella next year. 1174 01:07:39,055 --> 01:07:40,556 Who knows? 1175 01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:48,272 Frank? 1176 01:07:49,482 --> 01:07:51,233 Goodbye, Willie. 1177 01:07:55,864 --> 01:07:57,614 I'm no fucking good. 1178 01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:01,952 And I never have been. 1179 01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:10,335 Come on, Charlie, get the coats. 1180 01:08:16,676 --> 01:08:19,094 Colonel. Watch your step. 1181 01:08:21,765 --> 01:08:23,098 Hold it. 1182 01:08:25,643 --> 01:08:26,852 (SIGHS) 1183 01:08:37,071 --> 01:08:40,783 nueva York, compadre. Vamos! 1184 01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:46,455 (METALLIC CLINKING) 1185 01:09:25,703 --> 01:09:27,329 You got a watch? 1186 01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:32,459 It's 7:20. 1187 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:36,755 I didn't ask you the time. I asked if you had a watch. 1188 01:09:37,674 --> 01:09:39,132 Yeah, in the other room. 1189 01:09:39,259 --> 01:09:40,425 Get it. 1190 01:09:44,764 --> 01:09:47,808 Colonel, there's a clock right next to your bed. 1191 01:09:49,102 --> 01:09:51,103 Does it have a second hand? 1192 01:09:57,443 --> 01:09:59,236 - Yeah. - Time me! 1193 01:10:27,015 --> 01:10:28,432 How long? 1194 01:10:32,228 --> 01:10:33,979 About 30 seconds. 1195 01:10:34,314 --> 01:10:35,647 I'm rusty. 1196 01:10:36,733 --> 01:10:38,483 Where did you get a gun, Colonel? 1197 01:10:38,568 --> 01:10:41,194 Piece or weapon, Charlie, never gun. 1198 01:10:44,115 --> 01:10:46,283 Where did you get the piece? 1199 01:10:46,743 --> 01:10:49,161 I'm an officer in the US Army. 1200 01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:50,996 This is my sidearm. 1201 01:10:52,165 --> 01:10:53,749 But you're not an officer anymore. 1202 01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:55,667 So I'm retired, so what? 1203 01:10:56,127 --> 01:10:58,921 An officer never relinquishes his .45. 1204 01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:03,300 You better relinquish it to me or I'm gonna have to call Mrs. Rossi. 1205 01:11:03,384 --> 01:11:04,968 Good idea. 1206 01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:08,096 Then I'm going back to school. 1207 01:11:08,181 --> 01:11:10,724 Even better. Blue skies, green lights. 1208 01:11:10,808 --> 01:11:12,517 I hope you have a wonderful trip. 1209 01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:15,771 That felt like 25. Gotta be able to do a .45 in 25. 1210 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:16,939 Did you time me? 1211 01:11:17,023 --> 01:11:19,191 I did not and I'm calling Albany. 1212 01:11:28,993 --> 01:11:30,410 That was stupid. 1213 01:11:31,913 --> 01:11:33,205 Was it? 1214 01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:36,792 You're stuck with me, Charlie. 1215 01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:39,836 No, I'm not. I'm outta here! 1216 01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:41,505 Where you going, New Hampshire? 1217 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:44,257 You got no money. How you gonna do that? 1218 01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:47,260 Mmm. 1219 01:11:48,346 --> 01:11:50,681 Karen's number tastes like Albany. 1220 01:11:51,975 --> 01:11:53,183 Hah! 1221 01:11:53,893 --> 01:11:55,435 Fine. I'm leaving. 1222 01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:57,896 Charlie. Charlie! 1223 01:12:10,576 --> 01:12:14,246 All I want from you is another day. 1224 01:12:15,832 --> 01:12:17,165 For what? 1225 01:12:19,752 --> 01:12:22,713 One last tour of the battlefield. 1226 01:12:26,426 --> 01:12:29,094 I can get around a city like New York, 1227 01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:31,805 but I 1228 01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:34,891 sometimes need a point in the right direction. 1229 01:12:38,062 --> 01:12:39,855 What do you say, Charles? 1230 01:12:39,939 --> 01:12:42,899 What's one day between friends? 1231 01:12:47,071 --> 01:12:49,781 All right. Say I stay for another day. 1232 01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:52,784 Will you give me your weapon? 1233 01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:54,077 Oh, Charlie, 1234 01:12:54,162 --> 01:12:56,496 I'm a lieutenant colonel, United States Army. 1235 01:12:56,581 --> 01:12:59,082 I'm not giving my fucking gun to anyone. 1236 01:12:59,167 --> 01:13:01,543 Now, what are you drinkin'? 1237 01:13:01,627 --> 01:13:04,004 Colonel, this is unacceptable. 1238 01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:07,090 Unacceptable? What are you givin' me that prep school crap for? 1239 01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:08,550 Unacceptable? 1240 01:13:08,634 --> 01:13:12,262 What have they done, taken the Oregon out of the boy? 1241 01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:14,723 Put in Harvard Business School? 1242 01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:17,309 Then give me your bullets. 1243 01:13:23,483 --> 01:13:26,693 You do see the sense of it, Charlie, don't you? 1244 01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:31,990 I can't chew the leather anymore. 1245 01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:37,412 So, why should I share the tribe's provisions? 1246 01:13:40,083 --> 01:13:41,958 I mean, there's no one 1247 01:13:42,627 --> 01:13:45,337 wants to tear a herring with me anymore. 1248 01:13:48,049 --> 01:13:49,633 The bullets, Colonel. 1249 01:13:49,801 --> 01:13:51,218 "The bullets, Colonel." 1250 01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:54,679 You sound like a guy in Lives of a Bengal Lancer. 1251 01:14:13,866 --> 01:14:16,034 What do you give a shit for? 1252 01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:20,330 About what? 1253 01:14:20,873 --> 01:14:23,667 About whether I blow my brains out or not. 1254 01:14:29,841 --> 01:14:31,591 Because I have a conscience. 1255 01:14:31,676 --> 01:14:33,385 You have a conscience. 1256 01:14:34,595 --> 01:14:35,971 I forgot. 1257 01:14:37,390 --> 01:14:39,349 The Charlie Conscience. 1258 01:14:41,352 --> 01:14:43,812 Do we tell? Do we not tell? 1259 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:48,233 Do we follow the rich boy's code or not? 1260 01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:51,403 Do we let this blind asshole 1261 01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:54,406 die or not? 1262 01:14:54,949 --> 01:14:56,241 Yeah. 1263 01:14:56,742 --> 01:14:58,493 Conscience, Charlie. 1264 01:14:59,745 --> 01:15:01,371 When were you born, son? 1265 01:15:01,706 --> 01:15:03,748 Around the time of the Round Table? 1266 01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:05,000 (SCOFFS) 1267 01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:07,002 Haven't you heard? 1268 01:15:07,461 --> 01:15:10,297 Conscience is dead. 1269 01:15:11,424 --> 01:15:12,924 No, I haven't heard. 1270 01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:16,720 Then take the fucking wax outta your ears! 1271 01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:21,057 Grow up! 1272 01:15:32,236 --> 01:15:33,945 It's fuck your buddy. 1273 01:15:35,489 --> 01:15:37,115 Cheat on your wife. 1274 01:15:40,453 --> 01:15:42,954 Call your mother on Mother's Day. 1275 01:15:45,124 --> 01:15:46,416 Charlie, 1276 01:15:47,585 --> 01:15:49,461 it's all shit. 1277 01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:02,599 Where you goin'? 1278 01:16:03,476 --> 01:16:05,185 I got piss call. 1279 01:16:06,854 --> 01:16:09,898 I know I said I need ya forjust one day 1280 01:16:09,982 --> 01:16:12,484 but even I can't hold it that long. 1281 01:16:14,987 --> 01:16:16,404 Oh, and Charlie, 1282 01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,492 you forgot the one in the chamber. 1283 01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:26,665 Hah! 1284 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:30,043 There you go, sir. 1285 01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:32,045 Thank you. 1286 01:16:35,091 --> 01:16:37,384 Twenty-six years in the service, 1287 01:16:38,052 --> 01:16:40,345 never let an aide shine my shoes. 1288 01:16:41,013 --> 01:16:43,807 Where you gonna be in 26 years, Charlie? 1289 01:16:44,392 --> 01:16:48,186 Playing golf with your friends from the Baird School, I bet. 1290 01:16:49,063 --> 01:16:50,272 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 1291 01:16:51,190 --> 01:16:53,525 I don't even like those guys. 1292 01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:56,444 Of course you don't. They're all assholes. 1293 01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:00,365 Be a pleasure to squeal on 'em, wouldn't it? 1294 01:17:01,117 --> 01:17:02,784 Yeah, well, I'm not a squealer. 1295 01:17:02,868 --> 01:17:04,327 "I'm not a squealer." 1296 01:17:04,412 --> 01:17:06,621 What is this, the Dreyfus case? 1297 01:17:11,127 --> 01:17:13,211 Ooh. Ooh, mama! 1298 01:17:13,879 --> 01:17:15,130 BARBER: There you go. 1299 01:17:15,214 --> 01:17:16,631 Thank you. 1300 01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:18,383 BARBER: Thank you. 1301 01:17:19,218 --> 01:17:20,760 Watch your step. 1302 01:17:23,264 --> 01:17:26,349 I'm gettin' that heavy feelin' again, Charlie. 1303 01:17:29,729 --> 01:17:31,896 There's more to this, isn't there? 1304 01:17:33,232 --> 01:17:34,733 Isn't there? 1305 01:17:38,029 --> 01:17:39,904 I was offered a bribe. 1306 01:17:40,406 --> 01:17:42,115 Now we're cookin'. 1307 01:17:43,409 --> 01:17:45,744 Mr. Trask, the headmaster, 1308 01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,998 he promised to get me into Harvard. 1309 01:17:50,082 --> 01:17:51,583 If you squeal. 1310 01:17:52,251 --> 01:17:53,293 Yeah. 1311 01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:55,170 What a dilemma. 1312 01:17:55,254 --> 01:17:59,090 Should Charlie Simms accept a free ride into Harvard, or not? 1313 01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:05,180 What do you think your friend George would do if he were in your shoes? 1314 01:18:05,264 --> 01:18:06,681 He is, practically. 1315 01:18:06,766 --> 01:18:08,141 How? 1316 01:18:08,225 --> 01:18:12,479 It's just that Mr. Trask hasn't promised to get him into Harvard. 1317 01:18:12,563 --> 01:18:14,314 Mr. Trask doesn't have to. 1318 01:18:14,398 --> 01:18:16,775 George's father's gonna take care of that. 1319 01:18:18,778 --> 01:18:21,071 Do the deal, Charlie. Take it! 1320 01:18:21,697 --> 01:18:23,114 Go to Harvard. 1321 01:18:24,116 --> 01:18:25,367 I can't do that. 1322 01:18:25,451 --> 01:18:26,618 Why not? 1323 01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:31,790 There are just some things you can't do. 1324 01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,292 Explain 'em to me. 1325 01:18:35,961 --> 01:18:37,212 Louder, please. 1326 01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:38,630 I can't... 1327 01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:44,219 You're gonna have a tough time in this world, Charlie. 1328 01:18:45,304 --> 01:18:48,807 To ease the blow, let me buy you a drink. Come on. 1329 01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:52,685 FRANK: Double Jack Daniels on the rocks. 1330 01:18:52,770 --> 01:18:55,980 And bring my young friend here a Shirley Temple. 1331 01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:58,817 Hold on. Do you have beer? 1332 01:18:59,110 --> 01:19:01,528 Certainly. May I see some ID? 1333 01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:04,823 Are you interested in walkin' the rest of your life, chappy? 1334 01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:06,074 I'm sorry, sir, but... 1335 01:19:06,158 --> 01:19:09,244 I'm a regular here. My boy's going on 23. 1336 01:19:09,620 --> 01:19:12,372 Why don't you call up front, the office? 1337 01:19:12,456 --> 01:19:15,250 Mr. Gilbert, he's a friend of mine. 1338 01:19:15,501 --> 01:19:17,293 (ORCHESTRA PLAYING) 1339 01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:19,295 Any particular beer? 1340 01:19:19,380 --> 01:19:22,173 Schlitz. No Schlitz? 1341 01:19:22,675 --> 01:19:25,009 Blatz. No Blatz? 1342 01:19:26,137 --> 01:19:27,387 Improvise. 1343 01:19:28,597 --> 01:19:29,973 I'll do my best, sir. 1344 01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:31,933 Thank you, sir. 1345 01:19:32,726 --> 01:19:35,395 You're human, Charlie. Beer? 1346 01:19:38,899 --> 01:19:40,900 Who are we drinking with? 1347 01:19:41,068 --> 01:19:44,654 I'm getting a nice soap-and-water feeling from down there. 1348 01:19:52,746 --> 01:19:54,539 A female. 1349 01:19:54,832 --> 01:19:56,374 "Female"? 1350 01:19:57,001 --> 01:20:00,670 You callin' her female must mean you like her or you wouldn't be so casual. 1351 01:20:00,796 --> 01:20:02,172 (CHUCKLES) 1352 01:20:04,258 --> 01:20:05,550 Is she alone? 1353 01:20:05,634 --> 01:20:07,010 Yeah, she's alone. 1354 01:20:09,096 --> 01:20:10,763 Things are heatin' up. 1355 01:20:11,348 --> 01:20:12,932 Chestnut hair? 1356 01:20:13,225 --> 01:20:15,727 Brown, light brown. 1357 01:20:17,897 --> 01:20:19,314 Twenty-two? 1358 01:20:21,734 --> 01:20:24,068 What am I, a guy at a carnival? 1359 01:20:24,570 --> 01:20:27,489 The day we stop lookin', Charlie, is the day we die. 1360 01:20:28,491 --> 01:20:29,616 Move. 1361 01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:31,826 - Where? - You know where, son. 1362 01:20:31,911 --> 01:20:33,745 Don't be coy, Charlie. 1363 01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:38,708 This woman is made for you. I can feel it. 1364 01:20:39,251 --> 01:20:41,461 Goddamn beautiful, isn't she? 1365 01:20:41,712 --> 01:20:44,589 - She's not bad. - Bingo! The boy's alive. 1366 01:20:45,799 --> 01:20:48,593 Come on, son, perambulate. 1367 01:20:49,595 --> 01:20:51,137 Perambulate. 1368 01:21:00,731 --> 01:21:04,150 Excuse me, senorita, do you mind if we join you? 1369 01:21:06,111 --> 01:21:08,655 I'm feelin' you're being neglected. 1370 01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:11,616 I'm expecting somebody. 1371 01:21:13,661 --> 01:21:15,036 Instantly? 1372 01:21:16,413 --> 01:21:18,206 No, but any minute now. 1373 01:21:18,290 --> 01:21:19,541 Any minute? 1374 01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:22,418 Some people live a lifetime in a minute. 1375 01:21:23,587 --> 01:21:25,672 What are you doin' right now? 1376 01:21:25,965 --> 01:21:28,049 I'm waiting for him. 1377 01:21:28,634 --> 01:21:31,261 Would you mind if we waited with you, 1378 01:21:32,513 --> 01:21:35,515 just to keep the womanizers from bothering you? 1379 01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:40,979 No, I don't mind. 1380 01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:42,814 Thank you. 1381 01:21:46,318 --> 01:21:47,485 Charlie. 1382 01:21:51,156 --> 01:21:54,409 You know, I detect a fragrance in the air. 1383 01:21:54,493 --> 01:21:56,494 Don't tell me what it is. 1384 01:21:57,496 --> 01:21:59,372 Ogilvie Sisters soap. 1385 01:22:01,333 --> 01:22:02,750 That's amazing. 1386 01:22:02,835 --> 01:22:04,919 I'm in the amazing business. 1387 01:22:05,004 --> 01:22:07,005 It is Ogilvie Sisters soap. 1388 01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:09,882 My grandmother gave me three bars for Christmas. 1389 01:22:09,967 --> 01:22:12,093 Oh! I'm crazy about your grandmother. 1390 01:22:12,177 --> 01:22:14,762 I think she'd have liked Charlie, too. 1391 01:22:15,347 --> 01:22:16,973 Don't pay any attention to him. 1392 01:22:17,057 --> 01:22:18,474 What's your name? 1393 01:22:18,559 --> 01:22:19,767 Donna. 1394 01:22:19,852 --> 01:22:22,937 Donna? I'm Frank. This here is... 1395 01:22:23,022 --> 01:22:24,272 Charlie. 1396 01:22:24,356 --> 01:22:26,190 Yes. She likes you. 1397 01:22:27,276 --> 01:22:29,193 Charlie's having a difficult weekend. 1398 01:22:29,278 --> 01:22:30,737 He's going through a crisis. 1399 01:22:30,821 --> 01:22:33,615 How does he look like he's holding up? 1400 01:22:33,699 --> 01:22:35,575 He looks fine to me. 1401 01:22:35,659 --> 01:22:37,660 Oh! She does like you, Charlie. 1402 01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:45,001 So, Donna, 1403 01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:49,422 do you tango? 1404 01:22:50,049 --> 01:22:52,717 No. I wanted to learn once, but... 1405 01:22:53,260 --> 01:22:54,385 But? 1406 01:22:56,055 --> 01:22:57,805 But Michael didn't want to. 1407 01:22:57,890 --> 01:22:59,098 Michael. 1408 01:23:00,392 --> 01:23:02,477 The one you're waiting for. 1409 01:23:02,561 --> 01:23:05,229 Michael thinks the tango's hysterical. 1410 01:23:05,648 --> 01:23:07,732 I think Michael's hysterical. 1411 01:23:08,525 --> 01:23:10,318 Don't pay any attention to him. 1412 01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:11,527 Did I already say that? 1413 01:23:11,612 --> 01:23:12,945 (LAUGHING) 1414 01:23:14,531 --> 01:23:16,324 What a beautiful laugh. 1415 01:23:18,077 --> 01:23:19,702 Thank you, Frank. 1416 01:23:25,417 --> 01:23:28,086 Would you like to learn to tango, Donna? 1417 01:23:30,923 --> 01:23:32,256 Right now? 1418 01:23:33,676 --> 01:23:37,261 I'm offering you my services, free of charge. 1419 01:23:37,346 --> 01:23:38,888 What do you say? 1420 01:23:42,351 --> 01:23:44,352 I think I'd be a little afraid. 1421 01:23:45,729 --> 01:23:46,979 Of what? 1422 01:23:47,856 --> 01:23:50,024 Afraid of making a mistake. 1423 01:23:51,568 --> 01:23:55,238 No mistakes in the tango, Donna. Not like life. 1424 01:23:55,322 --> 01:23:58,116 It's simple. That's what makes the tango so great. 1425 01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:01,661 If you make a mistake, get all tangled up, just tango on. 1426 01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:06,624 Why don't you try? 1427 01:24:10,963 --> 01:24:12,588 Will you try it? 1428 01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:16,676 All right. I'll give it a try. 1429 01:24:18,011 --> 01:24:19,637 Hold me down, son. 1430 01:24:26,228 --> 01:24:27,562 Your arm? 1431 01:24:30,566 --> 01:24:31,816 Charlie, 1432 01:24:33,193 --> 01:24:35,737 I'm gonna need some coordinates here, son. 1433 01:24:35,821 --> 01:24:38,740 The floor's about 20 by 30, 1434 01:24:38,824 --> 01:24:40,992 and you're at the long end. 1435 01:24:41,910 --> 01:24:45,830 There's some tables on the outside and the band's on the right. 1436 01:25:04,683 --> 01:25:07,185 (LIGHT TANGO MUSIC PLAYING) 1437 01:25:38,550 --> 01:25:40,384 (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) 1438 01:26:25,305 --> 01:26:26,514 (EXCLAIMS) 1439 01:26:42,406 --> 01:26:43,781 (LAUGHING) 1440 01:27:16,481 --> 01:27:17,857 (MUSIC STOPS) 1441 01:27:20,485 --> 01:27:22,320 (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) 1442 01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:29,952 Oh, Frank, you are one incredible dancer. 1443 01:27:32,789 --> 01:27:35,082 Wait'll you see Charlie dance. 1444 01:27:35,667 --> 01:27:37,627 He's a liar. I don't dance. 1445 01:27:37,711 --> 01:27:39,170 Isn't he a charmer, though? 1446 01:27:39,254 --> 01:27:43,257 Truth is, not only can he dance, but he'll sing you a hell of a tune. 1447 01:27:43,342 --> 01:27:46,010 He can do bird calls and imitate Bela Lugosi. 1448 01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:47,136 Hi, honey. 1449 01:27:47,220 --> 01:27:48,304 - Hi. - Hey. 1450 01:27:48,847 --> 01:27:51,557 Michael, this is Frank and this is Charlie. 1451 01:27:51,642 --> 01:27:53,768 Hi, Frank, Charlie. Sorry I'm late. 1452 01:27:53,852 --> 01:27:55,269 Oh, that's okay. 1453 01:27:55,687 --> 01:27:58,230 These two gentlemen entertained me, 1454 01:27:58,315 --> 01:27:59,899 and time flew. 1455 01:28:00,067 --> 01:28:02,860 Your girl is a hell of a tango dancer. 1456 01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:06,280 At last, you found someone to tango with. 1457 01:28:06,365 --> 01:28:07,740 That's terrific! 1458 01:28:07,824 --> 01:28:09,367 Let me shake your hand. 1459 01:28:09,451 --> 01:28:11,202 No, it was Frank. 1460 01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:13,412 Hell, I'll shake both your hands! 1461 01:28:14,581 --> 01:28:17,541 This looks like the place, but we gotta go. 1462 01:28:17,626 --> 01:28:21,337 We got a date with Darryl and Carol in the Village. 1463 01:28:21,421 --> 01:28:23,839 - Do you have a check? - Michael, please. 1464 01:28:23,924 --> 01:28:25,508 My pleasure. 1465 01:28:25,592 --> 01:28:26,801 Oh, no, no. I got this. 1466 01:28:26,885 --> 01:28:28,761 Michael, get your hand outta your pocket. 1467 01:28:28,845 --> 01:28:30,554 I'll take it. Really. 1468 01:28:31,181 --> 01:28:32,556 Allow me. 1469 01:28:34,977 --> 01:28:36,435 Why, thank you. 1470 01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:38,020 Bye, guys. 1471 01:28:38,522 --> 01:28:39,563 Bye. 1472 01:28:47,781 --> 01:28:50,741 Darryl and Carol. Yeah. 1473 01:28:59,543 --> 01:29:01,335 MANNY: it's apartment 17E, Colonel. 1474 01:29:01,420 --> 01:29:02,962 She's expecting you. 1475 01:29:03,046 --> 01:29:06,882 Don't worry about a thing. She's the creme de la creme. 1476 01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,468 My buddy took the Vice Chancellor of Germany to her. 1477 01:29:09,553 --> 01:29:11,846 Now he wants to immigrate to this country. 1478 01:29:12,097 --> 01:29:14,223 FRANK: You did good, hombre. 1479 01:29:16,435 --> 01:29:18,269 My hair, how is it? 1480 01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:20,813 It's perfect. 1481 01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:26,193 I got the red foulard okay, didn't I? 1482 01:29:26,778 --> 01:29:28,362 Yeah, real dark red. 1483 01:29:28,447 --> 01:29:31,490 Burgundy, Charlie. Burgundy. They love it. 1484 01:29:33,952 --> 01:29:35,161 Bay rum. 1485 01:29:37,456 --> 01:29:38,914 Windsor knot. 1486 01:29:41,793 --> 01:29:43,919 That's my heart I'm feelin'. 1487 01:29:53,847 --> 01:29:55,056 I'm off. 1488 01:30:13,492 --> 01:30:14,909 Can you get long distance on this? 1489 01:30:14,993 --> 01:30:16,869 And how. Be my guest. 1490 01:30:20,165 --> 01:30:21,499 (DIALING) 1491 01:30:27,923 --> 01:30:29,256 WOMAN: Sugarbush Lodge. 1492 01:30:29,341 --> 01:30:30,841 Hi. George Willis, please? 1493 01:30:30,926 --> 01:30:32,718 One moment, please. 1494 01:30:34,387 --> 01:30:36,388 - HARRY: Hello? - Harry? 1495 01:30:36,473 --> 01:30:38,599 Chas, how are you? 1496 01:30:38,683 --> 01:30:41,894 You just caught us. We're about to shoot George over to the airport. 1497 01:30:41,978 --> 01:30:44,355 Why is George going to the airport? 1498 01:30:44,856 --> 01:30:48,067 Hold on. Maybe you should talk to the man himself. 1499 01:30:49,361 --> 01:30:50,402 GEORGE: Chas. 1500 01:30:50,487 --> 01:30:51,529 Yeah. Hi, George. 1501 01:30:51,613 --> 01:30:52,905 You just caught me. 1502 01:30:52,989 --> 01:30:55,616 That's what Harry said. Where you goin'? 1503 01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:56,909 Home. 1504 01:30:56,993 --> 01:30:58,160 To Boston? 1505 01:30:58,245 --> 01:31:01,038 Catching the puddle-jumper. Keep your fingers crossed. 1506 01:31:01,123 --> 01:31:03,374 What are you going home for? 1507 01:31:03,708 --> 01:31:05,501 (GEORGE SIGHS) 1508 01:31:06,253 --> 01:31:10,214 I was thinking. This asshole, Trask? He's making no sense at all. 1509 01:31:11,550 --> 01:31:15,136 Somebody's gotta talk to him. My father was class of '59. 1510 01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:19,098 Your father? I thought we were gonna keep our parents outta this. 1511 01:31:19,391 --> 01:31:22,143 This guy Trask is out of control, Chas. 1512 01:31:22,727 --> 01:31:25,729 Out of control! Somebody's gotta talk to him. 1513 01:31:25,814 --> 01:31:28,607 My father's a major fundraiser, you know. 1514 01:31:28,733 --> 01:31:29,817 No, I didn't. 1515 01:31:29,901 --> 01:31:30,985 (LAUGHING) Right. 1516 01:31:31,069 --> 01:31:33,404 Relax. He'll get us off the hook. 1517 01:31:33,613 --> 01:31:35,322 I gotta go. Everything all right? 1518 01:31:35,407 --> 01:31:36,574 Sure. 1519 01:31:36,783 --> 01:31:38,868 I'll see you Monday. Goodbye. 1520 01:31:39,161 --> 01:31:40,244 Bye. 1521 01:31:42,372 --> 01:31:43,622 (SIGHS) 1522 01:32:04,978 --> 01:32:07,021 - Good night, sir. - Good night. 1523 01:32:19,409 --> 01:32:20,409 Hiya, Charlie. 1524 01:32:22,746 --> 01:32:24,246 Watch the door. 1525 01:32:42,849 --> 01:32:44,975 What a beautiful woman. 1526 01:32:58,990 --> 01:33:00,824 Hello, there. 1527 01:33:00,909 --> 01:33:02,743 MAN 1 ON TV: Do you see what I see? 1528 01:33:02,827 --> 01:33:05,579 MAN 2 ON TV: Yeah. Either there's something wrong, 1529 01:33:05,664 --> 01:33:07,998 or we got the world's worst hangover. 1530 01:33:08,083 --> 01:33:10,084 HERMAN MUNSTER ON TV: Won't you come in? 1531 01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:12,449 MAN 1 ON TV: We hearyou got a picture of the bank robbery. 1532 01:33:12,504 --> 01:33:14,171 (SWITCHES OFF TV) 1533 01:33:30,605 --> 01:33:31,897 Colonel? 1534 01:33:46,288 --> 01:33:48,205 Colonel, you all right? 1535 01:33:49,916 --> 01:33:51,375 What is it? 1536 01:33:54,754 --> 01:33:56,380 It's after noon. 1537 01:33:57,007 --> 01:33:59,300 You've been sleeping all morning. 1538 01:34:00,385 --> 01:34:01,760 So what? 1539 01:34:04,264 --> 01:34:06,098 I don't know. I thought... 1540 01:34:11,021 --> 01:34:13,022 I talked to George last night. 1541 01:34:15,358 --> 01:34:19,361 His father's a big-deal alumnus at school. He's got a lot of pull. 1542 01:34:20,989 --> 01:34:22,323 Really? 1543 01:34:24,784 --> 01:34:28,245 Yeah, he's gonna talk to the headmaster. 1544 01:34:30,081 --> 01:34:33,208 George thinks he might be able to get us off the hook. 1545 01:34:33,293 --> 01:34:35,210 "Get us off the hook." 1546 01:34:35,962 --> 01:34:37,963 Yeah, that's what he said. 1547 01:34:39,758 --> 01:34:41,633 Watch the "us" part. 1548 01:34:44,763 --> 01:34:48,015 Colonel, don't you wanna get up and do something? 1549 01:34:52,145 --> 01:34:53,395 Colonel? 1550 01:34:54,314 --> 01:34:56,357 Oh, Charlie, what do you want? 1551 01:34:56,941 --> 01:34:59,360 I don't know, 1552 01:34:59,444 --> 01:35:01,612 but you're making me nervous. 1553 01:35:04,491 --> 01:35:06,742 My wallet is on the dresser. 1554 01:35:08,411 --> 01:35:10,454 Take out your plane ticket 1555 01:35:11,331 --> 01:35:15,584 and $400 mustering-out pay, plus 1556 01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:20,464 airport-to-school taxi. 1557 01:35:23,468 --> 01:35:26,136 Colonel, it's no rush. I mean, I can... 1558 01:35:27,180 --> 01:35:28,680 I could stay for a while. 1559 01:35:28,765 --> 01:35:31,058 Charlie, you already gave me a day. 1560 01:35:32,602 --> 01:35:35,646 And for that day, I am eternally grateful. 1561 01:35:38,316 --> 01:35:42,194 But right now I have other plans. 1562 01:35:43,822 --> 01:35:46,073 What other plans do you have? 1563 01:35:48,118 --> 01:35:49,618 To die, son. 1564 01:35:51,621 --> 01:35:53,330 Colonel, you're... 1565 01:35:53,998 --> 01:35:57,000 Come on, Colonel, you're not gonna die today. 1566 01:35:57,544 --> 01:35:59,795 Charlie, give me your hand. 1567 01:36:04,467 --> 01:36:06,343 You go now, boy. Okay? 1568 01:36:08,930 --> 01:36:10,764 You go. Just... 1569 01:36:14,519 --> 01:36:16,645 Just leave me sleep here. 1570 01:36:18,148 --> 01:36:21,066 Look... Can we start over, please? 1571 01:36:22,360 --> 01:36:24,736 What do you feel like doin' today, huh? 1572 01:36:25,530 --> 01:36:27,948 Look at this. The sun is shining! 1573 01:36:28,032 --> 01:36:30,200 It's a beautiful day. Let's... 1574 01:36:34,372 --> 01:36:37,458 Colonel, I know you don't want to be a party poop, 1575 01:36:37,542 --> 01:36:39,334 so let's go out and do something. 1576 01:36:39,419 --> 01:36:41,211 Let's go for a ride. 1577 01:36:46,718 --> 01:36:48,218 Yeah, a ride. 1578 01:36:50,597 --> 01:36:52,389 A ride? 1579 01:36:53,725 --> 01:36:55,976 Yeah, Colonel Slade, what do you say? 1580 01:36:56,060 --> 01:36:57,895 Let's go for a ride, huh? 1581 01:37:05,820 --> 01:37:07,529 What kind of ride? 1582 01:37:09,657 --> 01:37:12,493 Yeah, this is a valid Oregon driver's license, 1583 01:37:12,577 --> 01:37:16,288 and we let appropriate customers test-drive the Testarossa. 1584 01:37:16,372 --> 01:37:20,250 But you're 17, with a blind companion. That we don't do. 1585 01:37:20,335 --> 01:37:22,503 This is a $190,000 piece of machinery. 1586 01:37:22,587 --> 01:37:25,005 I'm not letting it out this door. 1587 01:37:25,089 --> 01:37:26,548 How about this one over here? 1588 01:37:26,633 --> 01:37:29,176 That's a Cabriolet T. The same deal. 1589 01:37:29,260 --> 01:37:33,639 You think I'll let an unaccompanied kid get in a $110,000 car? 1590 01:37:33,723 --> 01:37:35,933 He will not be unaccompanied. 1591 01:37:36,809 --> 01:37:39,436 I'll be with him. I'm his father. 1592 01:37:40,230 --> 01:37:41,730 You're his father? 1593 01:37:41,814 --> 01:37:43,023 Yes. 1594 01:37:43,441 --> 01:37:46,443 I have an idea. Why don't I take your father for a test drive? 1595 01:37:46,528 --> 01:37:48,403 What's your quota, Freddie? 1596 01:37:48,488 --> 01:37:50,405 Don't worry about my quota. I do well. 1597 01:37:50,490 --> 01:37:52,449 How many Ferraris you sold this month? 1598 01:37:52,534 --> 01:37:54,326 That's not relevant to this discussion. 1599 01:37:54,410 --> 01:37:56,537 Freddie, the '80s are over. 1600 01:37:57,372 --> 01:38:00,123 Are you tryin' to tell me these things are walkin' outta the store? 1601 01:38:00,208 --> 01:38:04,336 This is a Ferrari, sir, the finest machinery made in the automobile industry. 1602 01:38:04,420 --> 01:38:07,673 If you like it that much, why don't you sleep with it? Why are you sellin' it? 1603 01:38:07,757 --> 01:38:09,174 I'd love to accommodate you... 1604 01:38:09,259 --> 01:38:12,261 if this car performs the way I expect it to, 1605 01:38:12,345 --> 01:38:15,973 you will get a check of $101,000, and change, 1606 01:38:16,057 --> 01:38:18,058 when you come in here tomorrow morning. 1607 01:38:18,142 --> 01:38:22,062 It's $109,000, plus $950, plus tax. 1608 01:38:22,146 --> 01:38:24,898 Freddie, for you 1609 01:38:24,983 --> 01:38:27,651 107 all in, 1610 01:38:27,735 --> 01:38:31,321 plus a case of champagne to go with your leftover turkey. 1611 01:38:32,574 --> 01:38:35,284 What do you say? Don't worry about the boy. 1612 01:38:35,368 --> 01:38:39,037 He drives so smooth, you can boil an egg on the engine. 1613 01:38:39,122 --> 01:38:42,332 When we bring the car back, I'll peel the egg for ya. 1614 01:38:43,334 --> 01:38:46,962 Listen, you made me laugh, but I can't let the car go out. 1615 01:38:48,923 --> 01:38:50,632 Want a deposit? 1616 01:38:50,717 --> 01:38:53,176 This is not an installment item, sir. 1617 01:38:56,514 --> 01:39:00,142 Freddie, you're no spring chicken. 1618 01:39:02,312 --> 01:39:05,272 You know what they call me at the home office? 1619 01:39:05,356 --> 01:39:06,440 "The Grey Ghost." 1620 01:39:06,524 --> 01:39:08,817 You know why they still keep me around? 1621 01:39:08,901 --> 01:39:12,279 There's no kid here that can move a Ferrari like I can. 1622 01:39:12,363 --> 01:39:14,990 I'm known from coast to coast like butter and toast. 1623 01:39:15,074 --> 01:39:17,451 Ask anybody about Freddie Bisco. 1624 01:39:17,535 --> 01:39:18,952 When I get a Ferrari... 1625 01:39:19,037 --> 01:39:20,621 Out the door! 1626 01:39:20,705 --> 01:39:22,039 (CHUCKLES) 1627 01:39:22,123 --> 01:39:23,790 You just made me laugh, Freddie. 1628 01:39:23,875 --> 01:39:25,042 Yeah? 1629 01:39:25,793 --> 01:39:27,044 2,000. 1630 01:39:28,379 --> 01:39:31,256 Unless you take it, you're gonna make me cry. 1631 01:39:34,552 --> 01:39:36,386 I'm a grey ghost, too. 1632 01:39:47,815 --> 01:39:50,901 See? This is fun, isn't it? 1633 01:39:57,909 --> 01:40:00,243 (ENGINE STALLING) 1634 01:40:03,206 --> 01:40:04,873 (GEARS CLICKING) 1635 01:40:05,458 --> 01:40:08,877 Drop her into neutral. Slide her into second. 1636 01:40:09,420 --> 01:40:10,837 Pop the clutch. 1637 01:40:15,051 --> 01:40:16,593 (ENGINE REVS) 1638 01:40:48,459 --> 01:40:51,211 Straight. Hold it right like that. 1639 01:40:51,295 --> 01:40:53,422 Feel it? That's straight. 1640 01:40:53,506 --> 01:40:55,757 It's a straight street, so keep it straight. 1641 01:40:58,553 --> 01:40:59,928 CHARLIE: Keep it straight. 1642 01:41:00,012 --> 01:41:01,596 FRANK: No fun just to keep it straight. 1643 01:41:01,681 --> 01:41:04,641 You've got to move a little bit, feel the road. 1644 01:41:05,017 --> 01:41:08,019 Please? Just like this. All right? There you go. 1645 01:41:08,563 --> 01:41:10,480 Take it nice and easy. 1646 01:41:11,315 --> 01:41:12,899 Do you like this? 1647 01:41:12,984 --> 01:41:14,818 (ENGINE ACCELERATING) 1648 01:41:16,654 --> 01:41:19,698 Slow it down a little, Colonel. You're goin' a little fast. 1649 01:41:20,658 --> 01:41:22,951 Colonel, slow it down. 1650 01:41:23,786 --> 01:41:25,829 Something's happened to my foot! 1651 01:41:27,582 --> 01:41:28,749 Slow it down, please. 1652 01:41:28,833 --> 01:41:31,501 Hold on. I think I've got another gear. 1653 01:41:32,378 --> 01:41:33,920 Colonel Slade? 1654 01:41:35,506 --> 01:41:36,715 Hoo-ah! 1655 01:41:37,675 --> 01:41:38,925 Watch out! 1656 01:41:39,552 --> 01:41:41,261 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1657 01:41:41,763 --> 01:41:42,763 (CHUCKLES) 1658 01:41:42,847 --> 01:41:44,097 You'll get us killed! 1659 01:41:44,182 --> 01:41:46,516 Don't blame me, Charlie, I can't see! 1660 01:41:49,187 --> 01:41:50,479 Colonel, slow it down! 1661 01:41:50,563 --> 01:41:51,980 (LAUGHING) 1662 01:42:01,157 --> 01:42:02,365 Oh, Jesus! 1663 01:42:02,867 --> 01:42:05,619 Now let's see how this baby corners. 1664 01:42:05,703 --> 01:42:06,661 Corners? 1665 01:42:06,746 --> 01:42:08,205 Yeah. Say when. 1666 01:42:08,873 --> 01:42:10,040 Say when what? 1667 01:42:10,124 --> 01:42:11,333 Say when to turn. 1668 01:42:11,417 --> 01:42:13,293 Colonel, you can't turn the car. 1669 01:42:13,377 --> 01:42:15,045 Where's the turn, Charlie? 1670 01:42:15,588 --> 01:42:18,965 3 o'clock? 2 o'clock? Right oblique? Right face? 1671 01:42:19,050 --> 01:42:20,759 Come on! Talk to me! 1672 01:42:21,803 --> 01:42:23,345 It's left, I guess. 1673 01:42:23,429 --> 01:42:26,097 Left. I knew it. Okay. Now? 1674 01:42:27,725 --> 01:42:29,851 No, no! Not now! Not now! 1675 01:42:31,103 --> 01:42:32,270 Now? 1676 01:42:32,563 --> 01:42:33,814 Colonel, please! 1677 01:42:33,898 --> 01:42:36,107 I'm gonna do it anyway, all right? 1678 01:42:36,192 --> 01:42:38,193 Whether you say so or not, here we go! 1679 01:42:38,277 --> 01:42:40,654 Okay! Wait, wait, wait! Just wait! 1680 01:42:40,738 --> 01:42:42,906 Here I go. 1681 01:42:42,990 --> 01:42:44,825 Wait... Now! 1682 01:42:44,909 --> 01:42:46,576 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1683 01:42:48,412 --> 01:42:49,746 (EXCLAIMS) 1684 01:42:51,415 --> 01:42:54,251 I did it! Oh, Charlie! 1685 01:42:54,752 --> 01:42:55,794 (EXCLAIMING) 1686 01:42:55,878 --> 01:42:58,713 You're ridin' with one very happy man! 1687 01:43:00,424 --> 01:43:01,716 Turn again! 1688 01:43:01,801 --> 01:43:03,051 Be specific, son. 1689 01:43:03,761 --> 01:43:04,803 Left now! 1690 01:43:04,887 --> 01:43:05,971 Okay. 1691 01:43:06,806 --> 01:43:08,139 (YELLING) 1692 01:43:08,224 --> 01:43:09,558 (EXCLAIMS) 1693 01:43:11,102 --> 01:43:13,770 I love this! I love it! 1694 01:43:15,314 --> 01:43:17,190 Shall we take it to the max? 1695 01:43:17,441 --> 01:43:18,942 Let me out. 1696 01:43:19,527 --> 01:43:21,236 (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 1697 01:43:21,320 --> 01:43:23,113 Shit! The yellow flag. 1698 01:43:24,073 --> 01:43:27,075 I haven't even opened her up yet. Which way's the curb? 1699 01:43:27,159 --> 01:43:29,619 Pull over. Slow down! Slow down. 1700 01:43:29,704 --> 01:43:30,829 I'm doin' it. 1701 01:43:30,913 --> 01:43:32,831 Pull over to the curb, here. Slow down. 1702 01:43:32,915 --> 01:43:34,040 Yep. Got it. 1703 01:43:46,888 --> 01:43:49,973 Ooh. Haven't had a ticket in years. 1704 01:43:53,311 --> 01:43:55,020 I'll do the talking. 1705 01:44:00,693 --> 01:44:02,694 License and registration. 1706 01:44:14,916 --> 01:44:16,917 Are you test-driving this baby? 1707 01:44:17,001 --> 01:44:18,877 Don't she purr, though? 1708 01:44:19,462 --> 01:44:21,212 At 70 miles an hour? 1709 01:44:21,297 --> 01:44:23,673 You should hear her at 125. 1710 01:44:23,841 --> 01:44:25,050 (CHUCKLES) 1711 01:44:25,551 --> 01:44:27,385 Where's your license? 1712 01:44:28,971 --> 01:44:30,555 At the dealer's. 1713 01:44:30,640 --> 01:44:33,308 They give it back when you return the car. 1714 01:44:34,310 --> 01:44:35,727 You got lD? 1715 01:44:35,811 --> 01:44:37,354 You bet. 1716 01:44:38,606 --> 01:44:39,981 Indeed. 1717 01:44:43,903 --> 01:44:45,862 Lieutenant Colonel Slade. 1718 01:44:46,489 --> 01:44:48,156 And you, soldier? 1719 01:44:48,950 --> 01:44:51,493 The name is Police Officer Gore. 1720 01:44:53,329 --> 01:44:55,330 Doin' a hell of a job, Gore. 1721 01:44:55,414 --> 01:44:57,457 And so are you, Colonel. 1722 01:44:58,584 --> 01:45:00,085 Who's the kid? 1723 01:45:01,170 --> 01:45:02,963 My boy Charlie. 1724 01:45:03,047 --> 01:45:05,006 He kept tellin' me to "let her out." 1725 01:45:05,091 --> 01:45:07,342 What was I gonna do, disappoint him? 1726 01:45:07,885 --> 01:45:09,052 Yes. 1727 01:45:12,932 --> 01:45:14,933 Tell you what I'm gonna do, Colonel. 1728 01:45:15,017 --> 01:45:17,811 I'm gonna let you go, on one condition. 1729 01:45:17,895 --> 01:45:19,354 What's that? 1730 01:45:19,647 --> 01:45:22,399 That you take this rig straight back to the dealer. 1731 01:45:24,694 --> 01:45:26,027 You got it. 1732 01:45:26,112 --> 01:45:27,404 Shut up. 1733 01:45:28,197 --> 01:45:29,572 You want this? 1734 01:45:29,907 --> 01:45:31,241 Sure. 1735 01:45:32,243 --> 01:45:33,785 Gore? 1736 01:45:34,245 --> 01:45:36,997 Your face and your voice are familiar. 1737 01:45:37,081 --> 01:45:39,833 You ever been in the officer's club at Da Nang? 1738 01:45:40,751 --> 01:45:42,002 No. 1739 01:45:42,086 --> 01:45:43,753 Never in the Army? 1740 01:45:44,922 --> 01:45:46,548 No. Coast Guard. 1741 01:45:47,174 --> 01:45:48,717 Good Lord. 1742 01:45:48,884 --> 01:45:50,260 (CHUCKLES) 1743 01:45:52,847 --> 01:45:54,014 (LAUGHS) 1744 01:45:54,098 --> 01:45:56,433 Your dad is looking good, Charlie. 1745 01:45:56,517 --> 01:46:00,061 He's got a heavy foot, though. Tell him to take it light, all right? 1746 01:46:01,439 --> 01:46:03,273 - I hear ya! - All right. 1747 01:46:03,357 --> 01:46:04,566 Thanks. 1748 01:46:17,538 --> 01:46:20,623 Get out of the car, because you are not driving anymore. 1749 01:46:20,708 --> 01:46:23,543 Just keeping this baby warm, that's all. 1750 01:46:25,379 --> 01:46:27,464 I'm not drivin' anymore. 1751 01:46:31,927 --> 01:46:33,136 Yes. 1752 01:46:38,476 --> 01:46:40,310 - Take my arm. - I'm okay. 1753 01:46:40,770 --> 01:46:43,146 Colonel, it's really bumpy here. 1754 01:46:57,161 --> 01:46:58,745 You all right? 1755 01:47:02,166 --> 01:47:03,208 Yeah. 1756 01:47:11,383 --> 01:47:13,343 Red light. Hold it. 1757 01:47:19,767 --> 01:47:21,351 Taking too long. 1758 01:47:22,394 --> 01:47:23,770 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1759 01:47:23,854 --> 01:47:24,896 (HORNS HONKING) 1760 01:47:24,980 --> 01:47:27,941 Shit! Colonel! Colonel! 1761 01:47:38,494 --> 01:47:39,744 Colonel! 1762 01:47:40,412 --> 01:47:42,205 Shit! You all right? 1763 01:47:43,249 --> 01:47:45,333 What the hell are you doing? 1764 01:47:45,417 --> 01:47:46,543 Take the cane. 1765 01:47:46,627 --> 01:47:47,627 I gotta take a piss. 1766 01:47:47,711 --> 01:47:48,878 Take the cane. 1767 01:47:48,963 --> 01:47:50,296 Happens to the best of us. 1768 01:47:50,381 --> 01:47:52,340 We're on Park Avenue. You can't. 1769 01:47:52,424 --> 01:47:53,925 Perfect place. 1770 01:47:54,426 --> 01:47:56,094 You'll get arrested. 1771 01:47:56,178 --> 01:47:58,012 Never been housebroken. (EXCLAIMS) 1772 01:47:58,097 --> 01:47:59,639 Colonel! Shit! 1773 01:48:00,724 --> 01:48:03,309 What's the matter with you, Colonel? 1774 01:48:09,525 --> 01:48:12,944 What are you doing? Stand up. 1775 01:48:14,405 --> 01:48:15,613 Come on. 1776 01:48:15,698 --> 01:48:18,366 I'm tired, Charlie. I'm tired. 1777 01:48:20,452 --> 01:48:22,120 Give me your arm. 1778 01:48:22,746 --> 01:48:24,414 Here's your cane. 1779 01:48:25,749 --> 01:48:27,750 Take me back to the hotel, son. 1780 01:48:33,966 --> 01:48:35,800 Home at last. 1781 01:48:57,114 --> 01:48:58,907 You all right now? 1782 01:49:00,784 --> 01:49:01,910 Yeah. 1783 01:49:05,873 --> 01:49:07,957 Do you want to use the bathroom? 1784 01:49:08,042 --> 01:49:09,125 No. 1785 01:49:18,302 --> 01:49:19,677 Can I get you something? 1786 01:49:19,762 --> 01:49:20,887 No. 1787 01:49:25,059 --> 01:49:26,142 You sure you're all right? 1788 01:49:26,227 --> 01:49:27,894 I'm fine, Charlie. 1789 01:49:46,789 --> 01:49:49,165 Do you mind if I use the phone? 1790 01:49:49,250 --> 01:49:50,500 Go ahead. 1791 01:50:01,011 --> 01:50:02,679 (DIALING) 1792 01:50:09,687 --> 01:50:10,937 MR. WILLIS: Hello? 1793 01:50:11,021 --> 01:50:12,814 Hi, is George there, please? 1794 01:50:12,898 --> 01:50:14,565 Senior or Junior? 1795 01:50:16,068 --> 01:50:17,360 Junior. 1796 01:50:17,444 --> 01:50:18,945 Who's this? 1797 01:50:19,029 --> 01:50:20,488 A friend of his from school. 1798 01:50:20,572 --> 01:50:24,701 Sorry, but George isn't going to be talking to any friends from school right now. 1799 01:50:27,037 --> 01:50:28,162 Oh. 1800 01:50:28,330 --> 01:50:29,539 Goodbye. 1801 01:50:46,974 --> 01:50:49,350 Colonel, are you looking at me? 1802 01:50:52,062 --> 01:50:53,813 I'm blind, Charlie. 1803 01:51:00,112 --> 01:51:01,946 I'm gonna take a nap. 1804 01:51:04,742 --> 01:51:06,576 Too much fresh air. 1805 01:51:08,412 --> 01:51:10,580 It's probably a good idea. 1806 01:51:11,123 --> 01:51:13,541 Want me to help you to your room? 1807 01:51:14,126 --> 01:51:15,209 No. 1808 01:51:16,545 --> 01:51:17,754 Couch. 1809 01:51:18,922 --> 01:51:20,798 I like this couch here. 1810 01:51:24,094 --> 01:51:26,429 You sure you're all right, Colonel? 1811 01:51:26,513 --> 01:51:28,139 I got a headache. 1812 01:51:30,434 --> 01:51:31,684 (SIGHS) 1813 01:51:34,438 --> 01:51:37,648 Why don't you go downstairs, get me some aspirin? 1814 01:51:37,733 --> 01:51:40,693 - Some aspirin. - Yeah. Also... 1815 01:51:43,530 --> 01:51:45,281 I feel like a cigar. 1816 01:51:46,825 --> 01:51:50,119 Get me a couple of Montecristos Number One. 1817 01:51:51,288 --> 01:51:52,705 Montecristos Number One. 1818 01:51:52,790 --> 01:51:53,873 Yeah. 1819 01:51:53,957 --> 01:51:56,751 You won't be able to get 'em at the newsstand downstairs. 1820 01:51:56,835 --> 01:51:58,878 So why don't you go over to 1821 01:51:59,630 --> 01:52:02,173 50th and Fifth, Dunhill's. 1822 01:52:02,966 --> 01:52:05,760 Fella named Arnold there, in the humidor. 1823 01:52:06,678 --> 01:52:09,305 Tell him they're for me. 1824 01:52:10,682 --> 01:52:11,891 He'll know. 1825 01:53:00,858 --> 01:53:02,984 You're back too fast. 1826 01:53:05,779 --> 01:53:08,114 You didn't get my cigars, did you? 1827 01:53:13,454 --> 01:53:15,371 Get out of here, Charlie. 1828 01:53:19,710 --> 01:53:21,586 I thought we had a deal. 1829 01:53:22,379 --> 01:53:26,340 I welched. I'm a welcher. Didn't I tell you? 1830 01:53:27,885 --> 01:53:31,345 No, what you told me was that you gave me all the bullets. 1831 01:53:31,722 --> 01:53:32,972 I lied. 1832 01:53:34,892 --> 01:53:36,559 You could have fooled me. 1833 01:53:36,643 --> 01:53:38,019 And I did. 1834 01:53:40,898 --> 01:53:44,233 How you ever gonna survive in this world without me? 1835 01:53:49,114 --> 01:53:52,158 Why don't you just give me the gun, all right? 1836 01:54:01,084 --> 01:54:03,294 (STUTTERING) What are you doing? 1837 01:54:04,630 --> 01:54:06,714 I'm gonna shoot you, too. 1838 01:54:09,801 --> 01:54:11,761 Your life's finished anyway. 1839 01:54:13,013 --> 01:54:15,848 Your friend George is going to sing like a canary. 1840 01:54:15,933 --> 01:54:17,642 And so are you. 1841 01:54:17,726 --> 01:54:20,269 And once you've sung, Charlie, my boy, 1842 01:54:20,562 --> 01:54:24,690 you're gonna take your place on that long, gray line 1843 01:54:24,775 --> 01:54:26,609 of American manhood. 1844 01:54:28,237 --> 01:54:30,446 And you will be through. 1845 01:54:32,115 --> 01:54:34,033 I'd like to disagree with you, Colonel. 1846 01:54:34,117 --> 01:54:36,369 You're in no position to disagree with me, boy. 1847 01:54:36,453 --> 01:54:39,705 I got a loaded .45 here. You got pimples. 1848 01:54:40,707 --> 01:54:42,458 I'm gonna kill ya, Charlie, 1849 01:54:43,168 --> 01:54:46,546 because I can't bear the thought of you sellin' out! 1850 01:54:48,882 --> 01:54:51,384 Put the gun down, all right, Colonel? 1851 01:54:51,468 --> 01:54:54,595 What? You givin' me an ultimatum? 1852 01:54:54,972 --> 01:54:56,305 No, I'm... 1853 01:54:57,766 --> 01:54:59,684 I give the ultimatums! 1854 01:55:01,478 --> 01:55:02,812 I'm sorry. 1855 01:55:04,731 --> 01:55:06,566 All right? I'm sorry. 1856 01:55:09,820 --> 01:55:11,404 It's all right, 1857 01:55:12,656 --> 01:55:14,115 Charlie. 1858 01:55:19,079 --> 01:55:20,997 You break my heart, son. 1859 01:55:22,624 --> 01:55:24,458 All my life I stood up 1860 01:55:25,460 --> 01:55:27,461 to everyone and everything, 1861 01:55:28,672 --> 01:55:32,550 because it made me feel important. 1862 01:55:35,012 --> 01:55:37,430 You do it 'cause you mean it. 1863 01:55:40,601 --> 01:55:42,351 You got integrity, Charlie. 1864 01:55:46,565 --> 01:55:49,900 I don't know whether to shoot you or adopt you. 1865 01:55:52,738 --> 01:55:55,114 Not much of a choice, is it, sir? 1866 01:55:55,198 --> 01:55:57,033 Oh. Don't get cute now. 1867 01:55:57,784 --> 01:55:59,702 Could you please put the gun away? 1868 01:55:59,786 --> 01:56:01,579 I asked you a question. 1869 01:56:02,080 --> 01:56:04,999 Do you want me to adopt you, or don't you? 1870 01:56:06,168 --> 01:56:07,793 Please? I mean... 1871 01:56:09,379 --> 01:56:11,714 You're just in a slump right now. 1872 01:56:11,923 --> 01:56:13,049 Slump? 1873 01:56:15,802 --> 01:56:17,553 No slump, Charlie. 1874 01:56:19,890 --> 01:56:21,182 I'm bad. 1875 01:56:24,061 --> 01:56:25,978 I'm not bad. No. 1876 01:56:28,649 --> 01:56:30,149 I'm rotten. 1877 01:56:33,487 --> 01:56:35,071 You're not bad. 1878 01:56:38,408 --> 01:56:40,201 You're just in pain. 1879 01:56:45,874 --> 01:56:48,125 What do you know about pain? 1880 01:56:51,922 --> 01:56:56,217 You little snail darter from the Pacific Northwest. 1881 01:56:57,386 --> 01:56:59,387 Fuck you know about pain? 1882 01:57:03,100 --> 01:57:05,351 Let me have the gun, Colonel. 1883 01:57:05,769 --> 01:57:07,937 No time to grow a dick, son. 1884 01:57:09,147 --> 01:57:11,857 Just give me the gun, all right, Colonel? 1885 01:57:13,777 --> 01:57:15,903 I'm talkin' a parade ground. 1886 01:57:16,113 --> 01:57:17,405 Ten-hut! 1887 01:57:20,283 --> 01:57:23,494 Soldier, that was a direct order. 1888 01:57:25,372 --> 01:57:26,997 Give me the gun. 1889 01:57:30,794 --> 01:57:33,462 You can stay or you can leave. 1890 01:57:34,631 --> 01:57:36,382 You understand? 1891 01:57:36,466 --> 01:57:39,468 Either way, I'm gonna do this thing. 1892 01:57:42,097 --> 01:57:45,808 Now why don't you leave and spare yourself? 1893 01:57:48,645 --> 01:57:50,646 I want your gun, Colonel. 1894 01:57:59,614 --> 01:58:01,824 I'm gonna give myself a count. 1895 01:58:07,164 --> 01:58:09,832 You need a count for balance. 1896 01:58:13,128 --> 01:58:14,503 Five... 1897 01:58:15,672 --> 01:58:16,672 Four... 1898 01:58:18,467 --> 01:58:19,884 Three... 1899 01:58:22,179 --> 01:58:23,387 Two... 1900 01:58:26,016 --> 01:58:27,183 One... 1901 01:58:29,311 --> 01:58:30,436 Fuck it. 1902 01:58:33,857 --> 01:58:35,274 (GRUNTING) 1903 01:58:38,153 --> 01:58:39,862 Give me! Fuck! 1904 01:58:41,114 --> 01:58:42,531 (GRUNTING) 1905 01:58:43,200 --> 01:58:44,283 Get out of here! 1906 01:58:44,367 --> 01:58:45,659 I'm stayin' right here! 1907 01:58:45,744 --> 01:58:46,952 Get outta here! 1908 01:58:47,037 --> 01:58:48,370 I'm stayin' right here. 1909 01:58:48,455 --> 01:58:50,122 I'll blow your fuckin' head off! 1910 01:58:50,207 --> 01:58:51,749 Then do it! 1911 01:58:51,833 --> 01:58:54,376 You want to do it? Do it! Let's go. 1912 01:59:00,425 --> 01:59:02,510 Get outta here! 1913 01:59:03,887 --> 01:59:06,222 You fucked up, all right? So what? 1914 01:59:06,306 --> 01:59:08,182 So everybody does it. 1915 01:59:08,809 --> 01:59:10,476 Get on with your life, would ya? 1916 01:59:10,560 --> 01:59:11,894 What life? 1917 01:59:12,979 --> 01:59:15,022 I got no life! 1918 01:59:17,150 --> 01:59:19,235 I'm in the dark here! 1919 01:59:20,946 --> 01:59:22,488 You understand? 1920 01:59:23,824 --> 01:59:25,407 I'm in the dark! 1921 01:59:31,081 --> 01:59:32,498 So give up. 1922 01:59:33,333 --> 01:59:36,836 You want to give up, give up. Because I'm givin' up, too. 1923 01:59:36,920 --> 01:59:39,255 You said I'm through. You're right, I am through. 1924 01:59:39,339 --> 01:59:41,423 We're both through. It's all over. 1925 01:59:42,050 --> 01:59:44,301 So let's get on with it. Let's fuckin' do it. 1926 01:59:44,386 --> 01:59:48,973 Let's fuckin' pull the trigger, you miserable blind motherfucker. 1927 01:59:57,858 --> 01:59:59,525 Pull the trigger. 1928 02:00:01,570 --> 02:00:03,362 Here we go, Charlie. 1929 02:00:04,739 --> 02:00:06,073 I'm ready. 1930 02:00:13,999 --> 02:00:15,875 You don't want to die. 1931 02:00:18,336 --> 02:00:20,129 And neither do you. 1932 02:00:23,592 --> 02:00:26,260 Give me one reason not to. 1933 02:00:30,724 --> 02:00:31,974 I'll give you two. 1934 02:00:32,392 --> 02:00:37,146 You can dance the tango and drive a Ferrari better than anyone I've ever seen. 1935 02:00:42,319 --> 02:00:44,778 You never seen anyone do either. 1936 02:00:48,950 --> 02:00:51,076 Give me the gun, Colonel. 1937 02:01:02,005 --> 02:01:04,715 Oh, where do I go from here, Charlie? 1938 02:01:06,217 --> 02:01:08,928 If you're tangled up, just tango on. 1939 02:01:11,640 --> 02:01:13,933 You askin' me to dance, Charlie? 1940 02:01:21,232 --> 02:01:23,943 (SINGING) Did you everhave the feelin' 1941 02:01:24,027 --> 02:01:25,903 That you wanted to go. 1942 02:01:27,614 --> 02:01:32,034 And still had the feelin' that you wanted to stay? 1943 02:01:48,551 --> 02:01:50,636 You like my blues, Charlie? 1944 02:01:54,015 --> 02:01:56,058 Yeah, they're beautiful. 1945 02:01:57,394 --> 02:01:59,019 I wore these 1946 02:02:00,855 --> 02:02:02,731 for Lyndon's inauguration. 1947 02:02:05,235 --> 02:02:09,405 Of course, we weren't the number one ball. 1948 02:02:12,951 --> 02:02:14,952 But he dropped by anyway. 1949 02:02:17,622 --> 02:02:19,915 Will you please give me the gun? 1950 02:02:23,920 --> 02:02:25,838 You're askin' an officer 1951 02:02:26,965 --> 02:02:29,550 to surrender his sidearm. 1952 02:02:30,927 --> 02:02:32,886 You don't have to surrender it. 1953 02:02:32,971 --> 02:02:35,347 Just put it down for a little while. 1954 02:02:36,224 --> 02:02:38,392 All right? Just put it down. 1955 02:02:50,113 --> 02:02:52,614 Boy, I could use a drink, Charlie. 1956 02:02:56,119 --> 02:02:58,245 How about a cup of coffee? 1957 02:02:59,122 --> 02:03:00,456 (SCOFFS) 1958 02:03:00,832 --> 02:03:04,043 Too big a leap for me right now, Charlie. 1959 02:03:04,127 --> 02:03:05,544 Maybe tomorrow. 1960 02:03:05,670 --> 02:03:06,962 (LAUGHS) 1961 02:03:08,465 --> 02:03:12,760 No, a Mr. John Daniels would be preferred. 1962 02:03:15,472 --> 02:03:17,139 No water, Charlie. 1963 02:03:19,809 --> 02:03:21,101 No water. 1964 02:03:21,853 --> 02:03:23,145 Please. 1965 02:03:31,154 --> 02:03:33,155 Here's your drink, Colonel. 1966 02:03:39,829 --> 02:03:41,830 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1967 02:03:42,624 --> 02:03:45,209 What time do you want me to turn down the bed? 1968 02:03:45,293 --> 02:03:47,252 Maybe later, all right? 1969 02:03:47,337 --> 02:03:49,296 What he means, senorita, 1970 02:03:50,465 --> 02:03:52,341 is come right in. 1971 02:03:55,887 --> 02:03:57,346 Later, please? 1972 02:03:58,431 --> 02:04:00,766 Yes, sir. Good afternoon. 1973 02:04:03,478 --> 02:04:04,853 (DOOR CLOSES) 1974 02:04:05,438 --> 02:04:06,939 Nice voice. 1975 02:04:09,526 --> 02:04:10,859 (LAUGHS) 1976 02:04:11,236 --> 02:04:13,654 Boy, you have a one-track mind. 1977 02:04:15,615 --> 02:04:18,659 Is there anything else in this world, Charlie? 1978 02:04:19,869 --> 02:04:21,370 Not for you. 1979 02:04:22,455 --> 02:04:25,541 You know what's kept me goin' all these years? 1980 02:04:26,251 --> 02:04:27,918 The thought 1981 02:04:29,212 --> 02:04:31,672 that one day... 1982 02:04:40,557 --> 02:04:41,890 Never mind. 1983 02:04:43,101 --> 02:04:44,393 The what? 1984 02:04:46,229 --> 02:04:47,604 Silly. 1985 02:04:50,483 --> 02:04:53,277 Just the thought that maybe one day, I'd... 1986 02:04:57,282 --> 02:05:00,200 I could have a woman's arms wrapped around me, 1987 02:05:02,036 --> 02:05:04,288 and her legs wrapped around me. 1988 02:05:07,083 --> 02:05:08,375 And what? 1989 02:05:13,214 --> 02:05:17,676 That I could wake up in the morning and she'd still be there. 1990 02:05:19,095 --> 02:05:20,596 Smell of her. 1991 02:05:22,098 --> 02:05:23,807 All funky and warm. 1992 02:05:28,521 --> 02:05:30,439 I finally gave up on it. 1993 02:05:33,693 --> 02:05:36,236 I don't know why you can't have that. 1994 02:05:39,282 --> 02:05:41,742 When we get back to New Hampshire, 1995 02:05:41,826 --> 02:05:44,411 I don't know why you can't find someone. 1996 02:05:44,704 --> 02:05:47,748 You're a good-lookin' guy 1997 02:05:48,291 --> 02:05:50,334 and you're fun to be with 1998 02:05:51,127 --> 02:05:54,087 and you're a great travel companion, 1999 02:05:54,631 --> 02:05:57,257 sensitive, compassionate. 2000 02:06:01,304 --> 02:06:02,471 Charlie, 2001 02:06:03,848 --> 02:06:05,933 are you fuckin' with me? 2002 02:06:08,561 --> 02:06:09,853 (LAUGHS) 2003 02:06:09,979 --> 02:06:11,146 Yes. 2004 02:06:12,565 --> 02:06:14,399 (PHONE RINGING) 2005 02:06:15,568 --> 02:06:16,818 Yeah? 2006 02:06:17,612 --> 02:06:19,029 Hey, Manny. 2007 02:06:23,117 --> 02:06:24,201 (STAMMERING) 2008 02:06:24,285 --> 02:06:25,535 We missed our plane. 2009 02:06:25,620 --> 02:06:27,663 Your plane, Charlie. 2010 02:06:27,747 --> 02:06:29,539 My ticket was one-way. 2011 02:06:31,542 --> 02:06:33,752 New England Thruway all the way, Colonel? 2012 02:06:33,836 --> 02:06:35,671 All the way, Manolo. 2013 02:06:47,850 --> 02:06:50,852 I'm gettin' that heavy feelin' again, Charlie. 2014 02:06:52,730 --> 02:06:53,897 Uh... 2015 02:06:54,774 --> 02:06:56,024 "Uh..." 2016 02:06:56,901 --> 02:07:00,070 I think you were right about George and his father. 2017 02:07:00,488 --> 02:07:02,447 I'm sorry to hear that. 2018 02:07:02,532 --> 02:07:07,286 When we get back Mr. Trask is bringing us up in front of the whole school. 2019 02:07:07,370 --> 02:07:09,621 Puttin' your feet to the fire? 2020 02:07:09,706 --> 02:07:12,541 Special meeting of the disciplinary committee. 2021 02:07:14,168 --> 02:07:16,545 And what are you gonna tell 'em? 2022 02:07:19,382 --> 02:07:21,925 I don't know. 'll think of somethin'. 2023 02:07:23,845 --> 02:07:27,472 Charlie, why are you all alone in this thing? 2024 02:07:28,391 --> 02:07:29,474 Hmm? 2025 02:07:29,559 --> 02:07:31,310 Where's your father? 2026 02:07:32,895 --> 02:07:34,396 He left. 2027 02:07:35,815 --> 02:07:40,068 I thought it was a mom-and-pop store. Who's the pop? 2028 02:07:40,570 --> 02:07:42,279 It's my stepfather. 2029 02:07:43,281 --> 02:07:45,157 Oh, yeah. 2030 02:07:47,243 --> 02:07:50,912 But why isn't he in on this? Somethin' wrong with him? 2031 02:07:52,248 --> 02:07:54,791 No, he's okay. We just... 2032 02:07:55,251 --> 02:07:56,835 We don't get along very well. 2033 02:07:56,919 --> 02:07:58,211 Why not? 2034 02:07:59,922 --> 02:08:01,423 Because he's an asshole. 2035 02:08:01,507 --> 02:08:02,591 (EXCLAIMS) 2036 02:08:03,176 --> 02:08:04,343 (CHUCKLES) 2037 02:08:06,137 --> 02:08:09,431 Well, that's all right, Charlie. 2038 02:08:11,601 --> 02:08:14,478 Every family's got one nowadays. 2039 02:08:44,384 --> 02:08:45,717 That's it? 2040 02:08:46,052 --> 02:08:47,094 That's it. 2041 02:08:47,178 --> 02:08:48,553 Take care of yourself, kid. 2042 02:08:48,638 --> 02:08:50,514 All right, Manny. Thanks. 2043 02:08:56,354 --> 02:08:58,355 FRANK: No, I'm not opening. 2044 02:08:59,982 --> 02:09:01,525 I hate goodbyes. 2045 02:09:04,153 --> 02:09:05,695 So... 2046 02:09:06,489 --> 02:09:08,115 You'll be all right, huh? 2047 02:09:09,492 --> 02:09:10,992 I'll be fine. 2048 02:09:12,495 --> 02:09:13,787 All right. 2049 02:09:15,164 --> 02:09:16,998 (BELL TOLLING) 2050 02:09:17,083 --> 02:09:18,667 What's that? 2051 02:09:19,585 --> 02:09:21,336 That's first bell. 2052 02:09:23,005 --> 02:09:25,424 Just got time to get cleaned up. 2053 02:09:27,301 --> 02:09:28,385 Oh. 2054 02:09:28,803 --> 02:09:30,512 I almost forgot. 2055 02:09:34,809 --> 02:09:36,768 I owe you some money. 2056 02:09:39,105 --> 02:09:42,274 $300. Job well done. 2057 02:09:46,487 --> 02:09:49,281 You ever need any references, Charlie, I'm your man. 2058 02:09:51,409 --> 02:09:53,034 Thanks, Colonel. 2059 02:09:59,834 --> 02:10:02,794 16 Water Street. Over the bridge. 2060 02:10:02,879 --> 02:10:04,379 We'll find it. 2061 02:10:05,423 --> 02:10:07,174 Goodbye, Charlie. 2062 02:10:08,885 --> 02:10:10,594 Goodbye, Colonel. 2063 02:10:13,723 --> 02:10:15,348 Come here, son. 2064 02:10:32,074 --> 02:10:33,450 Okay, Manny. 2065 02:11:05,274 --> 02:11:06,858 (BOYS CHATTERING) 2066 02:11:47,650 --> 02:11:49,651 George. George! 2067 02:11:59,412 --> 02:12:00,996 (BOYS SHUSHING) 2068 02:12:28,816 --> 02:12:31,568 I called an open meeting of this institution this morning 2069 02:12:31,652 --> 02:12:34,863 because the incident that occurred this Tuesday last 2070 02:12:34,947 --> 02:12:39,034 describes an issue that concerns all of us. 2071 02:12:40,494 --> 02:12:42,621 Not an isolated case of vandalism. 2072 02:12:42,705 --> 02:12:47,459 What happened is a symptom of the sickness of a society. 2073 02:12:48,919 --> 02:12:54,174 A sickness which runs counter to the principles this school was founded on. 2074 02:12:56,385 --> 02:12:58,678 A school among whose graduates 2075 02:12:58,763 --> 02:13:03,558 two have sat behind the desk in the Oval Office, in the White House. 2076 02:13:04,644 --> 02:13:07,979 Baird men have run State Departments and investment houses, 2077 02:13:08,731 --> 02:13:11,816 founded department stores and coached football teams. 2078 02:13:11,901 --> 02:13:15,362 Our alumni receive their bulletins in ashrams in India 2079 02:13:15,821 --> 02:13:17,656 and in palaces in Jordan. 2080 02:13:17,740 --> 02:13:20,158 We are, in fact, known around the world 2081 02:13:20,242 --> 02:13:23,328 as the cradle of this country's leadership. 2082 02:13:23,412 --> 02:13:25,330 - A beacon in the... - What are you doing here? 2083 02:13:25,414 --> 02:13:27,207 Got room for me up there, Charlie? 2084 02:13:27,291 --> 02:13:30,335 But today we are bleeding from disrespect. 2085 02:13:30,419 --> 02:13:31,586 Yeah, I guess so. 2086 02:13:31,671 --> 02:13:33,463 - Blatant disrespect. - Give us a hand. 2087 02:13:33,547 --> 02:13:35,674 A disrespect for our values, 2088 02:13:35,758 --> 02:13:39,552 and a disrespect for our standards. 2089 02:13:39,637 --> 02:13:43,014 A disrespect for the Baird tradition. 2090 02:13:43,099 --> 02:13:45,892 And, as the custodians of that tradition, 2091 02:13:47,019 --> 02:13:51,231 we are here today to protect each other 2092 02:13:51,774 --> 02:13:54,275 from those who threaten it. 2093 02:13:55,444 --> 02:13:57,404 Who is this, Mr. Simms? 2094 02:13:59,615 --> 02:14:01,533 This is Mr. Frank Slade, 2095 02:14:02,326 --> 02:14:05,578 Lieutenant Colonel, United States Army, retired. 2096 02:14:06,872 --> 02:14:09,207 I'm here in place of Charlie's parents. 2097 02:14:09,458 --> 02:14:10,792 Excuse me? 2098 02:14:11,085 --> 02:14:12,711 In loco parentis. 2099 02:14:15,047 --> 02:14:18,216 They could not make the trip from Oregon today. 2100 02:14:18,300 --> 02:14:21,261 And what is your relationship to Mr. Simms? 2101 02:14:21,345 --> 02:14:23,138 Ls this a courtroom? 2102 02:14:24,056 --> 02:14:26,015 Closest thing we could manage to it. 2103 02:14:26,100 --> 02:14:29,769 Then if we're taking oaths, there's a few people I'd like to swear in. 2104 02:14:32,106 --> 02:14:34,315 There are no oaths at Baird. 2105 02:14:35,359 --> 02:14:37,360 We are all on our honor. 2106 02:14:39,321 --> 02:14:44,325 Larry and Franny Simms are very dear, close friends of mine. 2107 02:14:45,077 --> 02:14:48,288 They've asked me to appear here on Charlie's behalf. 2108 02:14:49,206 --> 02:14:50,415 Okay? 2109 02:14:52,960 --> 02:14:55,378 Happy to have you with us, Colonel. 2110 02:14:59,633 --> 02:15:00,967 Mr. Willis. 2111 02:15:03,345 --> 02:15:05,013 Which Mr. Willis? 2112 02:15:05,097 --> 02:15:06,514 George, Junior, sir. 2113 02:15:11,562 --> 02:15:13,104 Yes. 2114 02:15:13,189 --> 02:15:17,984 You were in a position last Tuesday night to see who committed this act of vandalism. 2115 02:15:18,068 --> 02:15:19,486 Who was it? 2116 02:15:21,489 --> 02:15:24,741 Well, I have an idea who it was. 2117 02:15:24,825 --> 02:15:26,367 No, not an idea, Mr. Willis. 2118 02:15:26,452 --> 02:15:28,286 Did you see or did you not see? 2119 02:15:31,290 --> 02:15:32,624 Well... 2120 02:15:34,376 --> 02:15:36,711 I didn't have my contacts in. 2121 02:15:40,800 --> 02:15:42,050 Come on. 2122 02:15:45,888 --> 02:15:48,973 I was in the library. I'd taken my glasses off, 2123 02:15:49,058 --> 02:15:51,643 and I was gonna put my contacts back in. 2124 02:15:57,066 --> 02:15:58,775 Then I helped Simms close up 2125 02:15:58,859 --> 02:16:01,778 and the next thing I know, we're outside, 2126 02:16:01,862 --> 02:16:03,905 and I hear this sound and I 2127 02:16:06,075 --> 02:16:08,910 didn't have any time to put my contacts in. 2128 02:16:09,537 --> 02:16:12,247 Whom, with your limited vision, did you see? 2129 02:16:16,210 --> 02:16:17,877 (WHISPERING) 2130 02:16:29,807 --> 02:16:31,933 Like I say, it was blurry. 2131 02:16:37,815 --> 02:16:40,358 I can't see without my contacts. 2132 02:16:40,442 --> 02:16:42,861 What did you see, Mr. Willis? 2133 02:16:43,195 --> 02:16:44,404 What? 2134 02:16:45,447 --> 02:16:46,781 You mean definitively? 2135 02:16:46,866 --> 02:16:48,616 Stop fencing with me, Mr. Willis! 2136 02:16:48,701 --> 02:16:50,618 Tell me what you saw! 2137 02:16:55,749 --> 02:16:59,961 Now, don't hold me to this, but no contacts, it's dark... 2138 02:17:02,464 --> 02:17:03,923 And everything, I mean... 2139 02:17:04,008 --> 02:17:05,425 Mr. Willis! 2140 02:17:08,596 --> 02:17:09,679 Maybe... 2141 02:17:12,141 --> 02:17:14,058 Harry Havemeyer, 2142 02:17:14,852 --> 02:17:17,854 Trent Potter and Jimmy Jameson. 2143 02:17:17,938 --> 02:17:19,564 (BOYS MUTTERING) 2144 02:17:22,026 --> 02:17:23,151 Maybe? 2145 02:17:23,235 --> 02:17:24,944 Ballpark, best guess. 2146 02:17:27,156 --> 02:17:29,908 Could you provide us with some detail? 2147 02:17:32,494 --> 02:17:35,997 Why don't you ask Charlie? I really think he was closer. 2148 02:17:44,965 --> 02:17:46,299 Mr. Simms. 2149 02:17:47,384 --> 02:17:49,260 (CLEARS THROAT) Yes. 2150 02:17:49,345 --> 02:17:52,055 You don't wear contact lenses, do you? 2151 02:17:52,139 --> 02:17:53,431 No, sir. 2152 02:17:55,184 --> 02:17:59,187 With your untrammeled sight, whom did you see? 2153 02:18:03,567 --> 02:18:05,360 Well, I saw something, 2154 02:18:07,363 --> 02:18:09,822 but I couldn't say who. 2155 02:18:10,532 --> 02:18:13,451 All right. What was the something you saw? 2156 02:18:17,373 --> 02:18:18,373 I couldn't say. 2157 02:18:18,457 --> 02:18:20,208 You couldn't or wouldn't say? 2158 02:18:22,962 --> 02:18:24,504 Well, I just... 2159 02:18:28,467 --> 02:18:29,759 I just couldn't say. 2160 02:18:29,843 --> 02:18:31,427 Couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't. 2161 02:18:31,512 --> 02:18:34,889 You're exhausting my patience and making a mockery of these proceedings. 2162 02:18:34,974 --> 02:18:36,641 I will give you one last chance. 2163 02:18:36,725 --> 02:18:39,227 The consequences of your response will be dire. 2164 02:18:39,311 --> 02:18:43,648 By dire, I mean your future will be jeopardized permanently. 2165 02:18:45,275 --> 02:18:47,110 Now for the last time, 2166 02:18:47,194 --> 02:18:51,572 what did you see last Tuesday night outside my office? 2167 02:18:55,744 --> 02:18:57,495 I saw somebody. 2168 02:18:57,579 --> 02:18:59,747 "I saw somebody." Good. 2169 02:19:00,916 --> 02:19:03,292 Did you see their size and shape? 2170 02:19:04,753 --> 02:19:06,087 Yeah. 2171 02:19:06,839 --> 02:19:09,507 And they were the size and shape of whom? 2172 02:19:14,972 --> 02:19:17,056 They were the size and shape 2173 02:19:32,114 --> 02:19:34,282 of most any Baird student, sir. 2174 02:19:49,423 --> 02:19:51,674 I am left with no real witness. 2175 02:19:53,469 --> 02:19:57,346 Mr. Willis' testimony is not only vague, it is unsubstantiated. 2176 02:19:57,473 --> 02:20:02,101 The substance I was looking for, Mr. Simms, was to come from you. 2177 02:20:05,814 --> 02:20:07,190 I'm sorry. 2178 02:20:08,776 --> 02:20:10,818 I'm sorry, too, Mr. Simms, 2179 02:20:11,695 --> 02:20:13,571 because you know what I'm going to do 2180 02:20:13,655 --> 02:20:18,534 inasmuch as I can't punish Mr. Havemeyer, Mr. Potter or Mr. Jameson? 2181 02:20:18,619 --> 02:20:20,661 And I won't punish Mr. Willis. 2182 02:20:21,246 --> 02:20:23,164 He's the only party to this incident 2183 02:20:23,248 --> 02:20:26,209 who is still worthy of calling himself a Baird man. 2184 02:20:27,503 --> 02:20:30,671 I'm going to recommend to the disciplinary committee 2185 02:20:32,508 --> 02:20:34,425 that you be expelled. 2186 02:20:34,510 --> 02:20:38,638 Mr. Simms, you are a cover-up artist and you are a liar. 2187 02:20:38,722 --> 02:20:40,681 But not a snitch! 2188 02:20:42,184 --> 02:20:43,643 Excuse me? 2189 02:20:43,727 --> 02:20:45,311 No, I don't think I will. 2190 02:20:45,395 --> 02:20:46,771 Mr. Slade. 2191 02:20:46,855 --> 02:20:49,315 This is such a crock of shit! 2192 02:20:50,692 --> 02:20:52,860 Please watch your language, Mr. Slade. 2193 02:20:52,945 --> 02:20:55,863 You are in the Baird school, not a barracks. 2194 02:20:56,281 --> 02:20:59,158 Mr. Simms, I will give you one final opportunity to speak up. 2195 02:20:59,243 --> 02:21:01,369 Mr. Simms doesn't want it. 2196 02:21:02,079 --> 02:21:06,165 He doesn't need to be labeled "still worthy of being a Baird man." 2197 02:21:06,583 --> 02:21:08,501 What the hell is that? 2198 02:21:08,585 --> 02:21:10,628 What is your motto here? 2199 02:21:10,712 --> 02:21:14,799 "Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide, 2200 02:21:14,883 --> 02:21:18,261 "anything short of that, we're gonna burn you at the stake?" 2201 02:21:18,345 --> 02:21:20,513 Well, gentlemen, 2202 02:21:20,597 --> 02:21:23,975 when the shit hits the fan, some guys run, 2203 02:21:24,059 --> 02:21:25,685 and some guys stay. 2204 02:21:25,769 --> 02:21:29,230 Here's Charlie, facin' the fire, and there's George, 2205 02:21:29,314 --> 02:21:31,816 hidin' in big daddy's pocket. 2206 02:21:31,900 --> 02:21:33,526 And what are you doin'? 2207 02:21:33,610 --> 02:21:37,572 You're gonna reward George and destroy Charlie. 2208 02:21:39,324 --> 02:21:40,825 Are you finished, Mr. Slade? 2209 02:21:40,909 --> 02:21:43,035 No, I'm just gettin' warmed up. 2210 02:21:44,079 --> 02:21:46,122 I don't know who went to this place. 2211 02:21:46,206 --> 02:21:49,208 William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan, 2212 02:21:49,293 --> 02:21:50,877 William Tell, whoever. 2213 02:21:50,961 --> 02:21:54,255 Their spirit is dead, if they ever had one. 2214 02:21:54,339 --> 02:21:55,673 It's gone. 2215 02:21:55,757 --> 02:21:58,634 You're buildin' a rat ship here, 2216 02:21:58,719 --> 02:22:01,637 a vessel for seagoin' snitches. 2217 02:22:01,722 --> 02:22:05,474 And if you think you're preparin' these minnows for manhood, 2218 02:22:05,559 --> 02:22:07,101 you better think again, 2219 02:22:07,186 --> 02:22:12,940 because I say you are killin' the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills. 2220 02:22:14,193 --> 02:22:15,776 What a sham. 2221 02:22:15,903 --> 02:22:18,821 What kind of a show are you guys puttin' on here today? 2222 02:22:18,906 --> 02:22:22,366 The only class in this act is sittin' next to me. 2223 02:22:22,451 --> 02:22:26,162 And I'm here to tell you this boy's soul is intact. 2224 02:22:26,246 --> 02:22:28,998 It's non-negotiable. You know how I know? 2225 02:22:29,082 --> 02:22:32,752 Someone here, and I won't say who, offered to buy it. 2226 02:22:33,170 --> 02:22:35,213 Only Charlie here wasn't sellin'. 2227 02:22:35,297 --> 02:22:36,714 Sir, you're out of order. 2228 02:22:36,798 --> 02:22:39,050 I'd show you out of order. 2229 02:22:39,134 --> 02:22:42,136 You don't know what out of order is, Mr. Trask. 2230 02:22:42,221 --> 02:22:44,388 I'd show you, but I'm too old, 2231 02:22:44,473 --> 02:22:46,974 I'm too tired, I'm too fuckin' blind. 2232 02:22:47,059 --> 02:22:52,480 If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a flamethrower to this place! 2233 02:22:55,609 --> 02:22:58,736 Out of order? Who the hell you think you're talkin' to? 2234 02:23:00,322 --> 02:23:02,490 I've been around, you know? 2235 02:23:03,158 --> 02:23:05,326 There was a time I could see. 2236 02:23:05,827 --> 02:23:07,411 And I have seen. 2237 02:23:07,996 --> 02:23:10,289 Boys like these, younger than these, 2238 02:23:10,374 --> 02:23:13,709 their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. 2239 02:23:14,294 --> 02:23:19,257 But there is nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit. 2240 02:23:19,341 --> 02:23:22,218 There is no prosthetic for that. 2241 02:23:23,971 --> 02:23:27,431 You think you're merely sendin' this splendid foot soldier 2242 02:23:27,516 --> 02:23:30,726 back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, 2243 02:23:30,811 --> 02:23:34,730 but I say you are executin' his soul! 2244 02:23:36,024 --> 02:23:37,358 And why? 2245 02:23:38,277 --> 02:23:40,653 Because he's not a Baird man. 2246 02:23:41,321 --> 02:23:44,156 Baird men. You hurt this boy, 2247 02:23:44,241 --> 02:23:47,034 you're gonna be Baird bums, the lot of you. 2248 02:23:47,202 --> 02:23:49,453 And, Harry, Jimmy, 2249 02:23:50,289 --> 02:23:52,957 Trent, wherever you are out there, 2250 02:23:53,041 --> 02:23:54,625 fuck you, too! 2251 02:23:54,876 --> 02:23:56,043 (BOYS MUTTERING) 2252 02:23:56,128 --> 02:23:57,128 (GAVEL BANGING) 2253 02:23:57,212 --> 02:23:59,130 Stand down, Mr. Slade! 2254 02:23:59,214 --> 02:24:00,715 I'm not finished. 2255 02:24:01,883 --> 02:24:06,137 As I came in here, I heard those words, 2256 02:24:06,221 --> 02:24:08,180 "cradle of leadership." 2257 02:24:09,391 --> 02:24:14,812 Well, "when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall," and it has fallen here. 2258 02:24:14,896 --> 02:24:16,480 It has fallen. 2259 02:24:16,565 --> 02:24:19,567 Makers of men, creators of leaders. 2260 02:24:19,693 --> 02:24:23,070 Be careful what kind of leaders you're producin' here. 2261 02:24:24,031 --> 02:24:28,159 I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong. 2262 02:24:28,243 --> 02:24:29,744 I'm not a judge orjury. 2263 02:24:29,828 --> 02:24:31,620 But I can tell you this, 2264 02:24:31,705 --> 02:24:35,458 he won't sell anybody out to buy his future! 2265 02:24:36,752 --> 02:24:39,920 And that, my friends, is called integrity. 2266 02:24:40,881 --> 02:24:42,757 That's called courage. 2267 02:24:42,883 --> 02:24:46,052 Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. 2268 02:24:51,600 --> 02:24:55,102 Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. 2269 02:24:56,271 --> 02:24:59,607 I always knew what the right path was. 2270 02:25:00,609 --> 02:25:03,944 Without exception, I knew, but I never took it. 2271 02:25:04,446 --> 02:25:05,946 You know why? 2272 02:25:06,573 --> 02:25:09,533 It was too damn hard. 2273 02:25:11,161 --> 02:25:14,246 Now here's Charlie. He's come to the crossroads. 2274 02:25:14,331 --> 02:25:17,792 He has chosen a path. It's the right path. 2275 02:25:18,794 --> 02:25:22,463 It's a path made of principle that leads to character. 2276 02:25:25,467 --> 02:25:27,885 Let him continue on his journey. 2277 02:25:29,971 --> 02:25:33,474 You hold this boy's future in your hands, committee. 2278 02:25:34,684 --> 02:25:38,229 It's a valuable future, believe me. 2279 02:25:39,481 --> 02:25:42,149 Don't destroy it. Protect it. 2280 02:25:43,819 --> 02:25:45,236 Embrace it. 2281 02:25:45,987 --> 02:25:49,156 It's gonna make you proud one day, I promise you. 2282 02:26:06,716 --> 02:26:08,676 How's that for cornball? 2283 02:26:30,198 --> 02:26:32,283 Nothing can shut them up, sir. 2284 02:26:34,703 --> 02:26:36,078 (SILENCE) 2285 02:26:36,788 --> 02:26:39,957 The disciplinary committee will take this matter under advisement 2286 02:26:40,041 --> 02:26:42,209 in closed session. 2287 02:26:42,502 --> 02:26:44,211 (MURMURING) 2288 02:26:50,218 --> 02:26:52,428 What are they doin', Charlie? 2289 02:26:53,221 --> 02:26:56,390 I think they're going to come to a decision now. 2290 02:26:59,728 --> 02:27:01,061 Very well. 2291 02:27:06,568 --> 02:27:09,403 Apparently, that meeting will be unnecessary. 2292 02:27:10,238 --> 02:27:11,739 Mrs. Hunsaker. 2293 02:27:15,911 --> 02:27:21,165 The joint student-faculty disciplinary committee needs no further sessions. 2294 02:27:21,249 --> 02:27:23,834 They have come to a decision. 2295 02:27:23,919 --> 02:27:28,464 Messrs. Havemeyer, Potter and Jameson are placed on probation 2296 02:27:29,007 --> 02:27:31,967 for suspicion of ungentlemanly conduct. 2297 02:27:32,260 --> 02:27:35,513 It is further recommended that Mr. George Willis, Jr. 2298 02:27:35,597 --> 02:27:38,807 Receive neither recognition nor commendation 2299 02:27:38,892 --> 02:27:40,684 for his cooperation. 2300 02:27:42,103 --> 02:27:46,774 Mr. Charles Simms is excused from any further response to this incident. 2301 02:27:47,192 --> 02:27:48,192 Hoo-ah! 2302 02:27:48,276 --> 02:27:49,818 (ALL CHEERING) 2303 02:28:02,958 --> 02:28:04,416 (INAUDIBLE) 2304 02:28:26,314 --> 02:28:27,898 (EXCLAIMS) 2305 02:28:47,919 --> 02:28:49,128 Last step. 2306 02:28:49,212 --> 02:28:51,505 I can always count on you, Charlie. 2307 02:28:54,676 --> 02:28:56,176 MISS DOWNES: Colonel! 2308 02:28:59,723 --> 02:29:01,557 I'm Christine Downes, Colonel Slade. 2309 02:29:01,641 --> 02:29:03,267 I teach political science. 2310 02:29:03,351 --> 02:29:06,770 I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you speaking your mind. 2311 02:29:06,855 --> 02:29:08,689 Why, thank you. Are you married? 2312 02:29:08,940 --> 02:29:09,940 (LAUGHS) 2313 02:29:10,025 --> 02:29:11,150 I... 2314 02:29:13,695 --> 02:29:17,239 Went to an artillery school at Fort Sill with a Mickey Downes. 2315 02:29:17,324 --> 02:29:18,991 Thought he might've snagged you. 2316 02:29:19,075 --> 02:29:21,243 No, I'm afraid not. 2317 02:29:22,912 --> 02:29:26,749 Colonel Slade was on Lyndon Johnson's staff, Miss Downes. 2318 02:29:26,833 --> 02:29:29,126 Were you? Fascinating. 2319 02:29:29,210 --> 02:29:31,879 We should get together, talk politics sometime. 2320 02:29:35,800 --> 02:29:37,635 Fleurs de Rocaille. 2321 02:29:39,346 --> 02:29:40,471 Yes. 2322 02:29:42,057 --> 02:29:44,183 "Flowers from a brook." 2323 02:29:45,727 --> 02:29:47,186 That's right. 2324 02:29:50,982 --> 02:29:54,818 Well, Miss Downes, I'll know where to find you. 2325 02:29:56,988 --> 02:29:58,405 Charlie. 2326 02:29:58,490 --> 02:29:59,823 CHARLIE: Bye, Miss Downes. 2327 02:29:59,908 --> 02:30:01,158 MISS DOWNES: Bye. 2328 02:30:04,412 --> 02:30:06,955 You don't have to tell me, Charlie. 2329 02:30:07,540 --> 02:30:08,666 5'7", 2330 02:30:10,251 --> 02:30:12,044 auburn hair, 2331 02:30:13,004 --> 02:30:15,506 beautiful brown eyes. 2332 02:30:34,275 --> 02:30:35,901 Yabba-dabba-doo. 2333 02:30:37,320 --> 02:30:38,445 Ha! 2334 02:30:40,573 --> 02:30:41,740 Manny. 2335 02:30:44,452 --> 02:30:45,911 Oh, Colonel, this is too much. 2336 02:30:45,995 --> 02:30:47,454 Never mind, you earned it. 2337 02:30:47,539 --> 02:30:49,039 Next time Charlie and I 2338 02:30:49,124 --> 02:30:52,126 want to take a breather to New York, we're gonna call you. 2339 02:30:52,210 --> 02:30:53,877 You can drive us both ways. 2340 02:30:53,962 --> 02:30:55,337 You're on, Colonel. 2341 02:30:55,422 --> 02:30:58,424 Not only will it be an honor, I'll give you a rate. 2342 02:30:58,508 --> 02:31:01,135 I'll see your rate and raise you. 2343 02:31:01,219 --> 02:31:02,970 Stay outta harm's way, Manny. 2344 02:31:03,054 --> 02:31:04,179 Take care, Colonel. 2345 02:31:04,264 --> 02:31:05,556 You, too. 2346 02:31:06,307 --> 02:31:08,809 - Ready? - No. I'll take it from here. 2347 02:31:09,894 --> 02:31:11,228 You go on ahead. 2348 02:31:11,312 --> 02:31:13,605 Manny'll drive you to your dorm. 2349 02:31:15,024 --> 02:31:17,651 Come by before you go home for Christmas. 2350 02:31:17,736 --> 02:31:19,903 We'll have a little cheer. 2351 02:31:19,988 --> 02:31:22,489 And if you like, stay for dinner. 2352 02:31:22,574 --> 02:31:25,534 Sometimes she cooks a pot roast. 2353 02:31:25,618 --> 02:31:27,286 It's almost edible. 2354 02:31:28,747 --> 02:31:31,290 All right, Colonel. That'd be really... 2355 02:31:31,374 --> 02:31:32,833 Bye, Charlie. 2356 02:31:52,771 --> 02:31:56,440 Who's there? That you, Francine? 2357 02:31:56,524 --> 02:31:57,483 Yes. 2358 02:31:57,567 --> 02:31:58,776 What are you doing? 2359 02:31:58,860 --> 02:32:00,819 Taking a ride. 2360 02:32:00,904 --> 02:32:02,571 Taking a ride? 2361 02:32:02,655 --> 02:32:04,990 What about you giving me a lift? 2362 02:32:05,074 --> 02:32:06,200 No. 2363 02:32:06,284 --> 02:32:07,409 No? 2364 02:32:07,911 --> 02:32:09,703 Come on, Francine. 2365 02:32:10,205 --> 02:32:13,207 We should make up. Don't you think it's time we made up? 2366 02:32:13,708 --> 02:32:15,000 No. 2367 02:32:15,084 --> 02:32:16,752 - Francine? - What? 2368 02:32:16,836 --> 02:32:22,132 Uncle Frank's had a really hard Thanksgiving weekend. 2369 02:32:22,550 --> 02:32:23,717 (KISSING) 2370 02:32:23,802 --> 02:32:26,386 What's that? I hear a chipmunk. 2371 02:32:27,013 --> 02:32:28,889 Is it a walrus? 2372 02:32:29,182 --> 02:32:30,766 No, it's Willie. 2373 02:32:31,184 --> 02:32:33,811 Willie, why don't you help me with my bag? 2374 02:32:33,895 --> 02:32:36,396 Come on, son. Help me with my bag. 2375 02:32:36,689 --> 02:32:38,899 Come on. Come on. 2376 02:32:39,359 --> 02:32:42,945 You got it. Hold onto it. You're strong. Come on. 2377 02:32:45,281 --> 02:32:46,740 Here we are. 2378 02:32:47,951 --> 02:32:50,536 Francine, come on with me and Willie. 2379 02:32:50,745 --> 02:32:53,455 I'll let you make me some marshmallow chocolate. 2380 02:32:53,540 --> 02:32:55,249 What do you say?