1 00:00:02,168 --> 00:00:04,637 They say, you never forget your first kiss. 2 00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:08,041 Well, uh, I never forgot mine. 3 00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:10,310 I was eight, she was eleven. 4 00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:13,246 Rachael Wyatt. Sweet face. 5 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,217 Girl weighed about 240 pounds strong. 6 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,986 She was standing by the monkey bars 7 00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,055 with a weird look in her eyes. 8 00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,657 So I ran like hell in other direction. 9 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,995 But, uh, for a chubby girl, baby was fast. 10 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:32,031 Before I knew it, she had pinned me to the ground. 11 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,902 Just slobbing and kissing all over me. 12 00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:39,272 I felt like my face was in a car wash. 13 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,241 Messed me up. Messed me up bad. 14 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:46,212 Till this day whenever I see someone spitting 15 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,881 or washing their car.. 16 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:52,452 ...I think of you, Rachael Wyatt. 17 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,920 My first kiss. 18 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,528 [theme song] 19 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,733 ♪ Martin ♪ 20 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,902 ♪ Martin ♪ 21 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,971 ♪ Martin Lawrence yeah ♪ 22 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:12,972 How y'all been? 23 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,908 {\an8}♪ Martin ♪ 24 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:16,943 {\an8}♪ Martin ♪ 25 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:20,046 {\an8}♪ Martin Lawrence yeah ♪ 26 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,648 {\an8}He's so crazy! 27 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,424 ♪ Martin ♪ 28 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:34,594 {\an8}♪ Martin Lawrence yeah ♪ 29 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:35,662 {\an8}How y'all been? 30 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,630 ♪ Martin ♪ 31 00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,632 ♪ Martin ♪ 32 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,769 ♪ Martin Lawrence ♪♪ 33 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:47,340 [instrumental music] 34 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,329 - Oh! - Mm.. 35 00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,764 Martin, quit messing with me. I'm eating my cereal now. 36 00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:13,833 You want some sugar with that, sugar-girl? 37 00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:15,201 No, no! Hey, hey, stop it. 38 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,703 You're gonna make milk come out my nose. 39 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,938 You know what I like. Baby, make it go.. 40 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,507 [imitates a splat] 41 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,475 - That is disgusting. - Is it? 42 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:25,044 Cut it out, Martin, Pam is gonna be here any minute 43 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,514 to take me to work. Now, stop. 44 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,149 Let me get that for you, babe. 45 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:37,557 I'm reaching for you. 46 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,495 - You know what you need? - Oh, I know what I need. 47 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,631 You need a footstool. Thank you. 48 00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:46,566 - A what? - A footstool. 49 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,501 My grand mommy used to have the sweetest little 50 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,337 hand-embroidered footstool, whenever I was real good 51 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:53,907 she would let me sit on it and tell me stories. 52 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,842 Aw, that's sweet, babe 53 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:59,045 but my grandmother didn't need a footstool. 54 00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:02,882 - Why? What? - She had no feet. 55 00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:07,487 No. She had one but she only put it on when company over. 56 00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,522 She used to walk around the house like this. 57 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:12,759 What are you talking about? 58 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,995 I'm talking about wanting you, girl. 59 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,697 That's what I'm talking about. 60 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,433 Martin, Martin, hey, hey. Tonight is our anniversary. 61 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,669 You can have me then, alright? 62 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:24,671 Whoa, whoa, whoa, babe. 63 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,606 Didn't we just celebrate out anniversary 64 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,441 about two months ago? 65 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:32,011 Martin, that was our one-year anniversary of our first date. 66 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:33,780 Tonight is our one-year anniversary 67 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:38,017 of the first time you, uh, you know. 68 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,519 No, I don't know. What? 69 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:45,425 The first time you ever said the "L" word. 70 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,460 Lick me? 71 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,729 Shut up! 72 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,598 - What? - Be late to work for me. 73 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,433 - No! No, no, no, no! - Come on, baby. 74 00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:56,269 You just said it's our anniversary. 75 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,805 Come on, I let you sleep last night. 76 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,307 - You are so bad. Yes. - Am I? Yes. 77 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,810 Let me take off this dress, so we don't get it wrinkled. 78 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,745 Good girl! 79 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,780 [knock on door] 80 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,284 - What? - Where's Gina? We got to go. 81 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:14,220 - She not here. - She is, too here. 82 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,589 - She told me she'd be here. - Hey. 83 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:19,392 She asked me if I could ask you if you could wait in the car 84 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,594 about five or ten minutes, alright? 85 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,931 - Ten minutes. - You so nasty. 86 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,234 Well, look, Gina told me today's your anniversary 87 00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:30,737 and you have to show her how important it is to you. 88 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,439 And the way you do that is, you get her some jewelry. 89 00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:36,776 Good jewelry, please, don't get her that cheap gold-plated crap. 90 00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,679 You know what? You amaze me, Pam. Do you have a man? 91 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,914 - You know I don't. - And I see why, okay. 92 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:45,652 Let me tell you something, me and Gina's thing ain't material. 93 00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,687 Alright? It's all up in here, okay. 94 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,291 The heart, that's our thing. The love thing, here. 95 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:54,794 Well, you just make sure that Gina's is here and here. 96 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,164 Hello, hello, hello...Pam. 97 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,466 My beautiful Nubian goddess. 98 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,469 Hi, Tommy. How are you? 99 00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:05,872 You know what? I'm glad everybody knows each other. 100 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,541 - Out! Bye! - I've got to go to work! 101 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,543 [indistinct] 102 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,212 Hey, girl, girl, I didn't know it was that late. I'm sorry. 103 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,781 - Hi.. - Hey, wait. 104 00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,182 They, they're leaving. 105 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,719 Since all these people are already here 106 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,521 I'll just see you tonight, alright, baby? 107 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:23,356 - What? - Tonight. Tonight. 108 00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,024 - Baby! - Bye! 109 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,861 Happy anniversary, Martin. 110 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,865 Yeah, alright. And I'll see you later, right, Pam? 111 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:36,636 - My delicious chocolate ho-ho? - What did you call me? 112 00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:40,740 He meant ring-ding, you know, cupcake? 113 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,475 Don't play with me, Cole. 114 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,045 What the heck was that? Ho-ho? 115 00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,916 Come on, man. Look, you know, she made me nervous. 116 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,185 Cole...you stupid. 117 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:56,356 Martin, what you guys are gonna do for your anniversary? 118 00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:58,558 - Nothing, man. - Nothing? 119 00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,526 What you mean? Martin, bro, take it from me, my brother 120 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:03,229 woman are very sensitive when it comes to anniversaries. 121 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:04,764 Ooh, that's right. Ha! 122 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,900 Cole, how would you know, man? 123 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,769 You live at home with your mother. 124 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,171 Hey, I got my own room. 125 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:14,273 Martin, look, tonight 126 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,109 has got to be very special, if you blow it off 127 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,678 you just may spend next year's anniversary alone. 128 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,046 You know what? You kill me, Tommy. 129 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,448 Look, I'll never ever be alone. You know why? 130 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,751 'Cause you two are always here. 131 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,120 Okay, Martin. Fine, You do your own thing, okay? 132 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,288 - Let's go play ball. - I can't play ball today now. 133 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:33,926 See, I can't go now, 'cause I'm working on my radio show, alone. 134 00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:38,097 - You work on that. - Yeah, I will work on that. 135 00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:40,233 It's very funny though, both of y'all 136 00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:41,634 wanna tell me about my anniversary 137 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,903 and you ain't got nobody. 138 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,638 Very funny. 139 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,074 You ain't seen none since it seen you. 140 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,776 Think about that one. 141 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:56,949 No. Matter of fact, you ain't had none since it had you. 142 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,422 Cole, hurry up so I can take you to the hoop. 143 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,056 Uh, excuse me, I think we know 144 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:05,625 who's gonna get taken to the hoop, right? 145 00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,427 No, no, no. Junior, you're going to get schooled. 146 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:10,062 - Alright? - Junior? 147 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,564 And just call me senior. 148 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:14,667 What's up? 149 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,504 - What's up, Sheneneh? - Hi, Cole. How you two doing? 150 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,274 Don't get her started, alright? 151 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,508 Oh, my goodness. 152 00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:23,843 Now, Tommy, I know you ain't tripping 153 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,579 with your little bald-headed self. 154 00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,181 It takes more than a bald head 155 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,116 to be like Michael Jordan, anyway. 156 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:34,187 Neneh, look, I-I don't want any trouble, okay? 157 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,588 All I want is for you to give me the ball-- 158 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,356 - No, Tommy. - Give me the ball. 159 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,091 - No, Tommy! - Sheneneh, give me the ball. 160 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,695 - No! - Oh, Sheneneh, sweetheart.. 161 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,097 I'm trying awfully hard to be patient 162 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,366 with your little tired ass, now give me the ball! 163 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,469 Tired? Since I'm so tired, take the ball. 164 00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,003 Since I'm so tired, take the ball from me. 165 00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:52,538 Sheneneh, what are you talking about? 166 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,607 I will show you what I'm talking about. Take the ball. 167 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,709 - Take the ball, man. - I'll take it! I'll take it! 168 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,378 Okay? I'll take it! Let's go! Let's go! 169 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,948 I'll show you, I'll show you what a girl could do to you. 170 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:05,017 [indistinct shouting] 171 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,654 Come on, look at me ride, Tommy. 172 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,556 Look at me, Tommy. Look at me, Tommy. 173 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,025 Look at you, Tommy. Look at you, Tommy. 174 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,861 - No. Oh, no, no, no! - Ah! 175 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,963 If I wanted to, I can take that ball. 176 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:18,297 You, yo, come on, man, let's take her with us. 177 00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:19,899 We can make some money off her. 178 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:23,069 No, Cole, I'm sure Sheneneh's got something better to do. 179 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,670 Well, I was gonna go workout, but, I mean 180 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,072 if y'all want me to go with ya, I'll go. 181 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,574 - Oh, God. - Come on, girl. Come on. 182 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,077 Who says black gals can't jump? 183 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,346 You gotta stop letting people post you up, Tommy. 184 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:34,680 Oh, no. 185 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:39,218 Before we wrap up, I'd like to say 186 00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:41,087 a little something about anniversaries. 187 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,922 My lady says tonight is the anniversary 188 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,758 of the first time I told her I love her. 189 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,094 Let me ask you a question, do you have to celebrate 190 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,364 and give gifts the first time you do everything? 191 00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:52,865 I mean, 'cause I don't remember the first time 192 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,433 I let her eat off my plate? I mean.. 193 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,703 And what gift do you give for that, a fork? 194 00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,840 I don't know. Let me hear from you, Detroit. 195 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,208 What up, talk to me. 196 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,111 - 'Hello, Mason?' - No, man, this is Martin. 197 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,846 (male #1) 'Okay, okay. Hey, Mason.' 198 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:09,081 'Uh, I'd like to dedicate this very special song' 199 00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:11,050 'to my old lady. It's our anniversary.' 200 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:15,254 'We been together seven beautiful days.' 201 00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:17,223 Well, that's beautiful, man, but listen, man 202 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,125 this is talk radio, man, alright? 203 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,793 We're talking anniversaries. 204 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,729 (male #1) 'Well, did I win some piston tickets, then?' 205 00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:26,132 - No, man. - 'Well, let me get a t-shirt?' 206 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,901 Yo, man, you're out of here. Next caller, what up? 207 00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:33,406 (male #2) 'Yo, Mart-in, I got an anniversary for you, man.' 208 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,141 'I just celebrated the anniversary of the first time' 209 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,476 'I caught my wife cheating on me, man.' 210 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,312 Well, what gift did you give her for that? 211 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,981 (male #2) 'Oh, something real special. A four-alarm fire.' 212 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,050 'I burned her lover's house down, man.' 213 00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,720 Well, I guess it's the thought that counts, huh? 214 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,822 Whoa. See ya when I see ya. 215 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:52,158 This is Martin Payne. I'm outty. 216 00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,561 [chuckles] Good show, Martin. 217 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,964 - Thanks, man. - Yo, you hear that? 218 00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,432 - Mason. - Mason. 219 00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,602 What's up, boss man? 220 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:05,504 Sean, that's the third cup you have used this week. 221 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,306 Are you trying to bankrupt me? 222 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,509 - Hey, Martin. - What's up, man? 223 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,278 - About your anniversary.. - Yeah. 224 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,947 Don't give Gina nothing. 225 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:16,749 Buy yourself something. 226 00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:20,820 Uh, jumper cables, leather shoes, a box of cigars. 227 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,788 Wrap it up, give it to her 228 00:10:22,855 --> 00:10:25,191 she's gonna hate it and give it right back. 229 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,260 That way when she dumps you, you won't be out of nothing. 230 00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,197 You, man. Come on, man. You know Gina ain't going for that. 231 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,367 - Hey, I got an idea though. - What's up? 232 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,602 Jars. Big jars. 233 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:39,972 Women just seem to love sticking things in jars. 234 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,442 Uh, uh, who you talking to, Sean? 235 00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:46,212 Well, I'm talking to Martin. He just wanted my advice. 236 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,015 Hey, you know what? I don't want either one of your advice. 237 00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:51,350 See? He wasn't talking to you, Sean. 238 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,221 Now, Martin, here's what you do, man. 239 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,556 You give her a gift she thinks is for herself 240 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,025 but it's really for you. 241 00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:02,461 - Yeah, like jars. - Get away from me, Sean! 242 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:08,067 - You go to this place, bro. - Hey, man.. 243 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:11,137 - "Trashy underwear," man? - Shut up, man! 244 00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:14,807 See, that's your problem. You don't listen. 245 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,310 Martin, they got everything. 246 00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:21,814 Hey...changed my life, man. 247 00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:28,387 Yo, bro, tell that old broad that Stan sent you. 248 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,024 Thank you, Stan. 249 00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:35,661 - Re.. Jars. - You know what? 250 00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,930 You and Stan keep telling me what Gina wants. 251 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,733 Let me tell you something, it's not jars, it's not jewelry 252 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,602 it's not lingerie. Yo, man, it's me. 253 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:47,039 Uno nuno. Me, okay? 254 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:49,241 Just me. No presents, no gifts. 255 00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:50,876 Just me, man. Alright? 256 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,713 Alright. That's sounds...okay. 257 00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:00,119 Your gift of love is here. 258 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,723 Babe, what's going on in your place? 259 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,125 Gina? 260 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,029 Hey. 261 00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,464 See anything you like? 262 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,433 - Do I? - Where you going? 263 00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:17,036 Into the kitchen, to check on your lobster dinner. 264 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,738 Whoa, babe, you cooked? 265 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,474 Yeah. See, tonight it's just gonna be you and me. 266 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,875 - Alright. - Some lobster.. 267 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,211 - Mm. - Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! 268 00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,813 I got you a few presents. Happy anniversary, Martin. 269 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,316 You want to exchange gifts now or after dinner? 270 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,418 [chuckles nervously] 271 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,993 Baby, you know 272 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,295 I really wish you, you didn't do this for me. 273 00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,831 Babe, I wish you hadn't done this. 274 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,633 You can start with that. Go ahead. 275 00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:49,568 - Why, Gina? - That's nothing, baby. 276 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:51,570 The real gift's in the other room. 277 00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:53,672 No. You did not buy me more gifts, babe. 278 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,842 - Just open it. Open it. - You know what? 279 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,644 Why are we gonna kill this romance? 280 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,513 Let's, let's do like Christmas, you know how you wanna 281 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,515 hurry up and go to bed, then you wanna wake up in the morning 282 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,851 and open your gifts. Let's open it in the morning. 283 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,020 Martin, tonight is our anniversary 284 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,923 not tomorrow morning. I'll go get the rest, okay? 285 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,630 [whimpering] 286 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,211 [screams] 287 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,046 My God! What is it? 288 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,981 A little something something. 289 00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,889 What is this? 290 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,725 That's a candle that burns for your love. 291 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,497 Martin, this is my candle off my piano. 292 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,133 Is this some kind of game or something? 293 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:59,572 I don't know why I try to fool you, babe. 294 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,742 You went to college, and your brain just be brrr! You know? 295 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,911 Yes, girl, it's like a game. 296 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,147 It's like scavenger hunt. 297 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,249 The candle is a clue. 298 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:13,252 Guess what? Your gift's somewhere here in this house. 299 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,021 [gasps] Martin, for real? You hid my gift? 300 00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:19,358 - You're so crazy! - 'Cause I'mma to do my thing. 301 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,893 You got to find it. 302 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,197 You got to find it now, okay? 303 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,733 'Cause your man like that. Now I got to blindfold you. 304 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:30,202 - Now, watch your hair weave. - Shut up. 305 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,538 I'm just.. I'm just playing with you. 306 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,240 Now, I'mma spin you 'cause it get a little 307 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,842 dangerous out there. You gotta find it. Now, go, girl. 308 00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,110 Watch yourself, watch yourself. 309 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,612 Ow! Martin! 310 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,081 Baby, I told you it was rough out there. 311 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:43,949 - Oh, baby! Okay.. - But you're warming up. 312 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,352 I'm warmer, huh? Okay. 313 00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:47,620 You're warming up, baby. 314 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,288 Martin, it's near you, isn't it? 315 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,258 - It's why your voice.. - Yeah, baby, I know, yeah. 316 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,293 You're warming up, girl. You're starting to steam. 317 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,562 You're staring to burn. You're hot, baby. 318 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:59,064 You hoy. You're burning! 319 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,800 - Martin! - Tommy, pick up the phone. 320 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,436 - Tommy! - What are you doing? 321 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,407 Can you please do not call here anymore? 322 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,576 I think that's very rude, okay? 323 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,745 I'm trying to enjoy my anniversary 324 00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:15,447 with the one I love. Bye. 325 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,984 They always try to sell you stuff. 326 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,820 I'm so crazy. 327 00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:24,823 I.. I don't know. 328 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,593 Babe, I got you spinning around here and guess what? 329 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:28,594 What? 330 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,963 Your gift ain't even in the house. 331 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,232 - Where is it? - Downstairs, in the car. 332 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,768 - We'll get it in the morning. - No. Go get it right now. 333 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,304 - No, no, babe, we can-- - Go get it, Martin, please? 334 00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:41,740 - Does it mean that much? - Would you go? Go! 335 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,947 [instrumental music] 336 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:01,760 [screaming] 337 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,363 The money's in the back! Ah! 338 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:07,766 No, no, no, no, I don't want no money. I want some panties. 339 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,335 [screams] 340 00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,937 No, not your panties. I want my own panties. 341 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,806 Oh. Oh-ho-ho. 342 00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:16,208 Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? 343 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,043 Okay. Now, listen, I need women's underwear 344 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,545 and I need them in a hurry, okay? 345 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,881 Oh, well, you're lucky, because I just happen to have 346 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,818 these beautiful seatless panties. 347 00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:28,053 Make you feel like the Queen of England. 348 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,789 No, not me. It's for my girl Gina. 349 00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:32,024 It's our anniversary. 350 00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:34,893 Oh, well, then these are all wrong. 351 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,896 Yes, they are. Okay, now, listen.. 352 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,331 I need something.. 353 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,533 ...romantic. 354 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,402 Oh, now, don't be bashful. 355 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,870 What size is she? 356 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,472 - She's about a five-- - No, no, no. 357 00:16:46,538 --> 00:16:48,507 I mean, my size? A little bigger? 358 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,476 [laughs] 359 00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:52,578 Your size about 20 years ago. 360 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,313 - Way back in the day. - Oh. 361 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,749 [laughing] 362 00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,252 Now tell me, is this your very first time in a lingerie shop? 363 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,254 No. No. 364 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,323 Look me in the eye. 365 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:09,928 - Yes, ma'am. - Ha-ha-ha. I thought so. 366 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,830 I can spot 'em a mile off. 367 00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:15,000 A first-timer. Don't worry. I'll be gentle. 368 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:25,611 Now, how about these beautiful French lace panties? 369 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:30,115 Oh, you just don't see beautiful crotches like this anymore. 370 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,851 All hand-sewn. Feel it. 371 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:35,187 - Can I? - Of course. 372 00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:37,556 Ooh! 373 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,294 This is nice. 374 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,629 Can you wrap this up for me? 375 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,198 Oh, my pleasure. Have a seat. 376 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:48,400 You know, I'm thinking about this. 377 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,269 Now it is your anniversary 378 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,638 and you need something more special. 379 00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,440 Excuse me. 380 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:58,243 And I have something more special than panties. 381 00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,279 It's a fantasy. 382 00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:08,120 Now, this comes with matching helmet and boots. 383 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,789 Costs a little more, but to hell, it's your anniversary. 384 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,157 - Right? - Right. 385 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:19,832 Hey, babe. 386 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,002 You ain't gonna believe what happened to me out there. 387 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,338 - Where you been, Martin? - Look.. 388 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,774 I know you're mad, alright, and I'm sorry 389 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,577 I left you here alone for two hours, alright? 390 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,147 But I got a perfectly good explanation. 391 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,316 Like what? 392 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,518 I don't know why I mess with Cole. 393 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,753 What do I be thinking about, babe? 394 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:45,023 Last night, Cole was supposed to come over here, right 395 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,792 and hide your gift for me. 396 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:50,129 So I get here tonight, and your gift ain't here. 397 00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,197 So I'm mad, baby, I'm boiling in the inside. 398 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:55,801 'Cause I really want our relationship to work out, right? 399 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,270 So I figure, right, I can hurry up downstairs 400 00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:01,306 jump in my car, jet over to Cole's house, right? 401 00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,809 Get your gift after punching him in his face, right 402 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:07,546 and then, hurry up back before you know you even miss me. 403 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:08,947 Daggone Cole. 404 00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:11,383 Don't make no sense. 405 00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:13,886 What are you, an idiot, Martin 406 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,488 as well as an insensitive jackass? 407 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:17,856 Why are you talking to me like that? 408 00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:20,559 I'm so mad at you I could kill you. 409 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,060 This is our anniversary. 410 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,898 And how do I spend it, Martin? All alone. And why? 411 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,133 Why, Martin, 'cause you can't tell me the truth 412 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,903 about not getting me a present. 413 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,304 You have to ruin the whole evening 414 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,873 just 'cause you can't be honest with me. 415 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,711 Well, fine, Gina. 416 00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:40,746 Fine. 417 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,247 Your man was wrong 418 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:45,050 for trying to run out and get you a gift, Gina. 419 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:46,251 Stop it, Martin. 420 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,854 No, no. I deserve to be hurt. 421 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,223 People don't want to see us together anyway. 422 00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:54,426 I'm jumping out the window, Gina. 423 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:57,095 Martin, stop trying to make me laugh. It's not funny. 424 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,598 No. I want to bust all this up.. 425 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,832 Pow, pow, pow. 426 00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:02,100 And you shall push me. 427 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,602 You deserve that much, Gina. 428 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,070 Don't tempt me! 429 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,841 You really want to push me, don't you? 430 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,846 Hey, look, baby, I'm sorry, alright? 431 00:20:14,913 --> 00:20:17,783 I didn't know a gift was that important. 432 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,118 It's not the gift, Martin. 433 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,121 It's the thought. That's what's important. 434 00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:28,927 Look, baby, I'm sorry. 435 00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:32,264 Look, I messed up. You know me, I.. 436 00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:34,299 I didn't think, alright? I'm sorry. 437 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,236 Forgive me, alright? Forgive me, alright? 438 00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,238 I forgive you, but I'm still mad at you. 439 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,807 - Come on, you're not mad. - Yes, I am! 440 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,376 I mean, look at this, Martin, "Trashy Underwear"? 441 00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:45,811 What was the thought behind that? 442 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,047 I can't believe you would even buy me some sleazy.. 443 00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:51,450 [gasps] 444 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,319 A footstool! 445 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,255 - Oh, Martin! - Yeah, yeah! 446 00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,156 Now you're all over me! Huh? 447 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,925 - Yeah. Say I'm the man. - You the man! 448 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:02,094 - I'm the man! - You the, you the man, baby! 449 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,328 That's right! 450 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,930 And I had bought this for you 451 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,665 about four months ago. 452 00:21:07,966 --> 00:21:09,901 - I'm lying again, huh? - Hmm. 453 00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,838 No, I bought this about two hours ago. 454 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,240 But I gotta tell you, when I saw this 455 00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:18,176 I thought about you and our anniversary 456 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:22,414 and the first time I said I loved you. 457 00:21:22,481 --> 00:21:23,815 You're my baby, you're my baby. 458 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,951 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mm. 459 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:32,157 And I love you more now than I ever did before. 460 00:21:32,257 --> 00:21:33,525 You're my baby, you're my baby. 461 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,761 - I'm your baby. I shall.. - Baby, baby.. 462 00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:38,196 [moaning] 463 00:21:38,997 --> 00:21:41,967 [theme music] 464 00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:49,341 {\an8}[theme music] 465 00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,655 {\an8}[yells] 466 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:12,631 {\an8}[music continues]