♪♪
AH-HYUCK.
♪ H-H-H-HIT IT ♪
♪ LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON ♪
♪ YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE ♪ YES!
♪ BEST BUDDIES, BEST PALS ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO WORK THINGS OUT ♪
♪ CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE TWO OF A KIND ♪
♪ LOOKIN' FOR A REAL GOOD TIME? ♪
WHAA-OOO-HO-HO!
♪ A REAL GOOD TIME ♪
♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ AND WE'LL ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
♪ ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪
♪ SIDE BY SIDE WHEREVER WE GO ♪
♪ WE'RE ALWAYS READY TO ROLL ♪
♪ NOW GIMME A BEAT ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ AND WE ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
GAWRSH. ♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE CALLING EVERYONE ♪
♪ COME ALONG AND JOIN THE FUN ♪
♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ LA DO BE DA BOP LA BA DO BOP ♪
YEAH!
THE REAL ME, A POEM BY WENDELL FRINKMAN.
AHEM.
"I LIKE COFFEE. I LIKE TEA.
I LIKE RECESS. THAT IS ME."
THE END. THANK YOU.
BRAVO! ALL RIGHT, WENDELL!
THANK YOU, WENDELL.
THAT WAS VERY...BRIEF.
ALL RIGHT, OUR NEXT POET WILL BE...
ROSE. ROSE BECKENBLOOM.
THE REAL ME.
"I AM LIKE A FLOWER
"HIDDEN BENEATH A SHADY PATH--
"WAITING FOR SOMEONE
"TO BRING MY WORLD TO LIGHT.
"WAITING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL SEE
"THAT, BEHIND MY SHY AND QUIET EYES--
I AM A ROSE, WAITING TO BLOOM."
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT, SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN!
THAT WAS LOVELY, ROSE.
RELAX, PJ IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
NO. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, JUST LIKE HER.
HUH? WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
PEEJ? PEEJ?
PEEJ, GET A GRIP.
I KNOW SPRINGTIME MAKES FOLKS CRAZY,
BUT ROSE BECKENBLOOM?
MAX, HER WORDS TOUCHED ME RIGHT HERE.
THE REAL ME.
I GOTTA FIND HER POEM.
O.K., BUT SHOW SOME DIGNITY.
ROMANCE AND STALE MEAT LOAF DON'T MIX.
SOMEBODY'S COMING!
WHOA!
[PJ] MAX? MAX!
EW!
AH, GREAT...
WELL, MAYBE SHE DIDN'T SEE THE REAL YOU,
BUT YOU DID FIND HER POEM.
UH, AND AN EXOTIC NEW SMELL, TOO.
[PEG] PETEY-PIE, I'M WORRIED ABOUT PJ.
HE BARELY TOUCHED HIS THIRD HELPING.
DO YOU THINK IT'S THE MUMPS?
NAW, IT'S PROBABLY JUST YOUR COOKING.
HAR-HAR! HAR-HAR! JUST YOUR COOKING!
HA HA. HA. GUY HUMOR. HOW AMUSING.
NOW LAUGH THESE DISHES OFF THE TABLE.
UH, YES, PEACH-PITS. HA-HA. HO-HO.
CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER.
[PJ] "I AM LIKE A FLOWER,
HIDDEN BENEATH THE SHADY PATH--"
HELLO. LOVE TALK. YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
I-- O.K. WELL, I KINDA LIKE THIS GIRL, SEE? AND--
SAME OLD STORY, HUH?
OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW I LIKE HER, O.K.?
SO WHAT DO I DO?
WHATEVER YOU DO, SON,
DON'T PLAY YOUR HAND TOO SOON
IN THIS COSMIC DANCE OF THE HEART SONG.
DON'T, I REPEAT, DON'T--
WHO YA TALKIN' TO, PJ?
SANTA CLAUS. NOW BEAT IT!
IS THAT CLEAR?
UH, YEAH. UH, THANKS.
HAPPY LOVE LIFE.
WOW. WAIT'LL MY FRIENDS HEAR ABOUT THIS.
YOU BETTER NOT! GIMME YOUR TAPE DECK, OR I'LL BLAB.
MY TAPE DECK? DREAM ON, KID.
PJ'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!
SHH! O.K., O.K., O.K.!
YOU CAN HAVE IT. SHH!
PJ's GOT A GIRLFRIEND!
SHUT UP!
WHOA!
O.K. WHAT GIVES?
UH, JUST HELPING PISTOL, UH, SWALLOW HER DESSERT.
UH-UH, DADDY.
PJ WAS STIFLING MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW HE'S IN LOVE.
OH, THE BIG "L," HUH?
THANKS, DARLIN'. SCOOT ALONG.
WELL, THAT'S GRATITUDE.
SO CUPID'S DART HAS PUNCTURED
MY LITTLE GUY'S AORTA. HA HA!
IS THE LUCKY LADY UNDER YOUR SPELL?
WELL, NOT EXACTLY, DAD.
SHE SORT OF DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I'M ALIVE.
NOW, SON, IF YOU WANT TO ROPE A FILLY,
YA GOTTA ACT LIKE A MAN.
NOW PUT THESE ON AND STAND COOL, SEE?
NOT LIKE THAT, SON.
LEGS APART, THUMBS HOOKED, HEAD COCKED.
AND KEEP YOUR SHIRTTAILS OUT. SLOPPY IS SEXY.
HERE.
BOOTS REEK OF MANLINESS.
WHOA. YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
LET ME SEE SOME MUSCLES.
YEAH, BUT, DAD-- SLEEVES ARE ONLY GOOD
FOR WIPIN' YER NOSE, BOY! HA HA!
DYNAMITE! NOW BELCH.
WHAT?
BELCH.
LET HER KNOW YOU'RE THERE.
[BURP]
NO, SON.
FROM YOUR GUTS, LIKE THIS.
SWALLOW SOME AIR, SEE?
[BURP]
RELEASES CALORIES, TOO.
AND THEN YOU SPIT, SEE?
DO I HAFTA?
DO YOU WANT THIS GIRL OR NOT?
WELL, YEAH.
THEN DO EXACTLY LIKE I SAY.
I GUARANTEE ANY GIRL WILL FALL FOR IT.
HA HA! YOUR MOM DID.
SON, YOU BE COOL. YOU BE TOUGH.
AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE MASTER.
[PEG] PETE, YOU GET DOWN HERE
AND RINSE OUT THE CREAMER!
COMING, FLOWER POT!
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[SLURPS]
[BURP]
YO, MAMA.
UH!
WAIT! ROSE.
HEY, DUDE, LOOK AT MY SHOES.
UM, I'M SORRY, MARTY.
AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU BAD BOY?
THE VET IS WAITING FOR YOU.
HE'S HAVING TROUBLE. HE THINKS HE'S A DOG.
THINKS HE'S-- OH, YEAH!
RUFF! RUFF RUFF! GRRRRRRR.
BAD DOG. NO KIBBLE FOR YOU TONIGHT.
AW, SHE HATES ME, MAX. I KNOW IT.
I MEAN, FIRST THE DUMPSTER, AND NOW THIS.
PEEJ, DO YOU NEED A FIRE HYDRANT?
SO WHERE'D YOU GET THIS LOOK, REDNECK MONTHLY?
DAD'S IDEA.
MAX, HE'S RUINING MY LOVE LIFE!
RELAX, ROMEO!
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU WIN ROSE--
REALLY? YEP.
AN EXPERT OF EMOTIONS. A HEALER OF HEARTS.
WHO? A DIRECTOR OF DATING.
WHO? A GURU OF GIRLFRIENDS!
WHO? ME!
AW, THIS IS GONNA BE...RUFF.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, MAX.
LOOK, ROSE IS THE SENSITIVE TYPE,
SO SHE'S GOTTA LIKE BABIES.
AND IF YOU SAVE ONE, SHE'S GOTTA LIKE YOU.
WELL...
NOW GO GET READY.
BINGO!
WAAH WAAH!
OH, MY. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BABY IN DANGER.
WAAH! WAAH!
BUT DO NOT DIAL 911, MISS,
FOR I AM A TRAINED PARAMEDIC.
AREN'T YOU A LITTLE SHORT?
I'M A PARA-PARAMEDIC.
WAAH WAAH!
YOU SEE, ALTHOUGH WE ARE A RUGGED LOT,
WE ARE TERRIBLY SENSITIVE AND CARING.
WHAT ABOUT THE BABY?
THE BABY!
HELP! WAAAAAHHHH!
GOTCHA, MAX. WHOA!
OW! OOO! EEE! OW!
YAAAH!
[COUGHING]
PEEJ? PEEJ!
UHH. DIAL 911.
AT THIS RATE, I'LL NEVER GET TO DANCE WITH ROSE.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK OUT MARTY.
YOU SEE HIM ENOUGH.
NOT FUNNY, MAX.
HEY THERE, HEARTBREAKER.
MY ADVICE MUST REALLY BE PAYING OFF, EH?
WHAT?
LOOKS LIKE THOSE BABES
CAN HARDLY KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF YOU.
YEAH RIGHT, DAD. MOB CITY.
HOW'S IT COMIN' WITH THAT CHICKADEE?
YOU ASK HER OUT?
OH! ABSO-TOOTIN'-LUTELY, SIR!
SHE CAN'T WAIT TO GO WITH PEEJ HERE
TO THE SPRING FLING.
HA HA HA! THAT'S MY BOY.
A CREDIT TO YOUR GENDER,
JUST LIKE YOUR OLD MAN.
MAX, YOU LIED TO MY DAD!
YOU WANT HIM TO GIVE YOU SOME MORE POINTERS?
NO. THEN SHOW A LITTLE GRATITUDE, DUDE.
O.K., BUT FROM NOW ON, NO MORE ADVICE--
NOT FROM YOU, NOT FROM DAD, NOT FROM ANYONE!
THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
I GOT MY OWN PLAN NOW. I BOUGHT ROSE A PRESENT.
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
FROM NOW ON,
I'M GONNA STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET!
MAX? YEAH.
WILL YOU GIVE IT TO HER?
[PJ] O.K., UH, ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
WHEN SHE COMES TO HER LOCKER, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO SAY.
GREAT. WHERE WILL YOU BE?
UH, I'LL HIDE IN HERE.
COME ON. GIMME A HAND, MAX.
YOU DON'T NEED A HAND. YOU NEED A BULLDOZER.
EASY! OW! LEMME JUST-- WATCH IT!
WELL?
YOU LOOK LIKE A CANNED HAM.
[BELL RINGS]
SHE'S COMING!
HI, ROSE.
She's here.
UM, "I PRESENT THIS GIFT
ON BEHALF OF A YEARNING HEART."
I PRESENT THIS GIFT
ON BEHALF OF A BURNING TART.
[PJ] HEART!
I MEAN HEART.
IT'S...
THANK YOU.
HEY, WAIT! WE'RE NOT DONE!
BE RIGHT BACK, PEEJ.
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
[PJ] "SO ACCEPT THIS GIFT
FROM MY FRIEND PJ,
"WHO WORSHIPS YOUR EVERY MOVE.
"PLEASE FIND IT IN YOUR HEART
TO GO TO THE SPRING FLING WITH ME, MY DARLING."
OH, HI, MARTY. YOU WANNA PLAY FETCH?
FUR BALL!
AND PJ? HAS ANYONE SEEN PJ
PRESENT.
VERY WELL. TAKE YOUR SEATS.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
MARTY SHOWED ME HIS KNUCKLE COLLECTION.
SORRY. ROSE RAN OFF, SO I HAD TO FOLLOW HER.
AND YOU WANT THE GOOD NEWS OR THE BAD NEWS?
THE BAD.
SHE LOVED THE GIFT, AND SHE SAID YES TO THE DANCE.
WHAT'S BAD ABOUT THAT?
SHE WANTS TO GO WITH ME.
AH, SOME PAL.
WHILE MARTY'S REARRANGING MY FACE, YOU STEAL MY DATE!
HEY, GENIUS, REWIND THE TAPE.
YOU GOT ME INTO THIS, YOU LOCKER LOAFER.
WHOA, TIME-OUT! WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
MARTY THINKS HE'S A DOG,
AND ROSE IS BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE!
DON'T TELL ME. HE'S BEEN COACHING YOU
ON "HOW TO ROPE A FILLY"
AND BELCHING, YEAH, AND SPITTING.
OH! WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN,
YOUR FATHER IS FULL OF YAMS!
I KINDA FIGURED THAT OUT, MOM.
BOY, I'D LIKE TO TEACH THAT HAMHOCK A LESSON.
YES! THAT'S IT!
THANKS, MRS. P!
YOU'RE WELCOME... I THINK.
SO, MAX, IF YOU'RE TAKING ROSE TO THE DANCE,
WHY AM I GOING?
SO YOU CAN DANCE WITH HER, DIPSTICK.
BUT SHE LIKES YOU.
NOT AFTER WE SWITCH DATES.
I DON'T HAVE A DATE.
YOU DO NOW. MEET MALLORY.
LIKE, I'M TOTALLY PLEASED TO MEET YOU!
[GASP]
I'M TELLING MOM YOU'VE GOT A GIRL IN YOUR ROOM!
SHE ALREADY KNOWS, HONEY.
MOM!
AND YOUR DAD
WILL NEVER HAVE TO KNOW.
[PETE] PJ, YOU UP THERE?
OH, YEAH? HIDE.
SO WHADDYA THINK?
NICE, DAD. UH, GOING TO A FUNERAL?
WAKE UP, PJ THAT'S A CHAUFFEUR'S UNIFORM.
RIGHT. I'M DRIVIN' YOU TWO ROMEOS
TO THE DANCE IN A LIMOUSINE.
HE NEVER TAKES ME OUT IN A LIMO.
UH, THANKS, SIR, BUT WE'LL WALK.
YA GOTTA DAZZLE DAMES WITH DOUGH!
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
HERE'S A PAIR OF EARRINGS FOR YOUR GAL.
YOUR MOM'LL NEVER MISS 'EM.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[PEG SQUEALS]
D'JU HEAR SOMETHIN'?
MY DAD PROBABLY STEPPED ON WAFFLES.
WELL, LET'S GET THIS CATTLE DRIVE GOIN'.
MOO! HA HA HA!
YEAH, GREAT. MEETCHA DOWNSTAIRS.
Oooo! OOOOOOOO!
NOT NOW, MRS. P.
NOW RUN OVER TO STEVIE LISH'S HOUSE
SO WE CAN PICK YOU UP.
ALL RIGHT, BUT BEFORE THE NIGHT'S OVER,
I'M GONNA DANCE ON HIS WINDPIPE!
YII!
[CRASH]
AND TELL HIM MAX SENT YA!
[HONKING]
[PJ AND MAX] AWESOME!
SO WHERE DOES THIS HOT DATE OF YOURS LIVE, JUNIOR?
UH, GO ONE BLOCK, THEN TURN LEFT.
[PETE] HA HA HA! NICE JALOPY, HUH?
GO RIGHT! RIGHT!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID LEFT.
[MAX] NO, RIGHT!
[MAX] SHE MADE IT.
OOPS. YOU WERE RIGHT.
WE SHOULDA GONE LEFT.
[DING-DONG]
WOW. HI.
YEAH, YEAH. HI. MAX SENT ME.
MAX WHO?
JUST LET ME IN, TWINK!
THANK YOU.
[HONK HONK]
LIKE, BYE, LITTLE BROTHER.
SEE YA LATER, FER SURE!
THAT'S YOUR DATE?
[PJ] UH, YEAH.
THAT'S MY BOY! HA HA HA!
[PETE] GIVE HER THE BOX.
OH, RIGHT. UH, HERE, MOM-- MAM-- MAM-- MALLORY!
OH, THEY'RE, LIKE, WOW.
IN FACT, THEY'RE TOTALLY LIKE A PAIR I ONCE HAD.
AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR PJ?
GIRLS MATURE FASTER THAN BOYS.
GAAK!
FEISTY LITTLE FILLY.
SORTA LIKE PEG AT THAT AGE.
WHEN MAX AND I GET UP TO DANCE TONIGHT,
YOU TALK TO ROSE.
HOW 'BOUT I JUST MOVE TO SIBERIA?
RELAX. NOW LET'S GET ROSE.
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, DAD. YOU CAN GO NOW.
BYE. SO LONG. LEAVE!
HMM. THINK I'LL STICK AROUND
AND WATCH MY LITTLE PUPIL AT WORK.
SAY, ROSE, DO YOU LIKE TO FAST-DANCE?
OH, I'M-- I'M NOT TOO GOOD AT IT.
ME, NEITHER.
AW, TOO BAD, 'CUZ I LOVE HOT MUSIC!
OOO, LIKE, ME, TOO!
♪♪
IF WE DON'T GET SOME REAL MUSIC,
OUR WHOLE PLAN IS SHOT.
LEAVE IT TO ME, MRS. P.
♪♪ [JAZZ]
♪♪ [PLAYING ALONG WITH RADIO]
THEY DANCE WELL.
YEAH.
OH! UH, DO YOU WANT SOME PUNCH?
O.K.
YEP, LOOKS LIKE OUR JOB'S DONE.
[PEG] FER SURE.
I'LL GET IT.
NOW WE'LL JUST TIPPY-TOE OUTTA HERE.
I'LL JUST TIPPY-TOE UP YOUR SPINE!
HEY, PJ, I CAUGHT THIS LITTLE WEASEL STEALIN' YOUR DATE!
OH, MAN!
SIR, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
LOOK, KID, I HELPED PJ SNAG THIS FOX FAIR AND SQUARE.
SO YOU JUST STICK WITH YOUR OWN DATE, SEE?
[SOBBING]
WHEN ARE YOU EVER GONNA LEARN TO BUTT OUT?
AW, CLAM UP, MISSY. YOU'RE WORSE THAN MY WIFE.
OH, THAT'S IT!
MUFFIN TIN!
THANKS FOR THE EARRINGS!
FOOD FIGHT!
GO AFTER HER, PJ.
AND THIS TIME, JUST BE YOURSELF.
THANKS, MOM.
SIC 'EM, BOY!
GRRR...
GOOD THING, TOO. I HAVE RABIES!
YOU WANT A NAPKIN? I ONLY USED IT ONCE.
OH, THANKS.
[HONNKKK]
NOW I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE.
AHEM.
"I AM LIKE A FLOWER
HIDDEN BENEATH THE SHADY PATH."
THAT'S-- THAT'S MY POEM!
I KINDA DUG IT OUT OF THE DUMPSTER.
THAT WAS YOU?
[PJ] YEAH. AND THE REDNECK
AND THE PARA-PARAMEDIC.
[GIGGLING]
I THINK I LIKE THE REAL YOU MORE.
ME, TOO.
♪♪ [SLOW MUSIC]
I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D WANT TO SORT OF DANCE.
UM, O.K.