1
00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:02,335
Ah-hyuck!

2
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,499
♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

3
00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:06,337
♪ Like father, like son ♪

4
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,547
♪ You're always number one ♪

5
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,633
[both]
Yes!

6
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,468
♪ There's buddies
There's pals ♪

7
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:12,433
Yeah!

8
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,852
♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

9
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,641
♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

10
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,725
♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

11
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:19,640
Whoa!

12
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,271
♪ A real good time ♪

13
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,274
Aah!

14
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,229
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

15
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:26,525
♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

16
00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:27,689
♪ Always stick together ♪

17
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,357
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

18
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,776
♪ The best of friends forever ♪

19
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,486
♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

20
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:39,907
♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

21
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,248
♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

22
00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:42,752
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

23
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,424
♪ And we always stick together ♪

24
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:46,343
Gawrsh!

25
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,301
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

26
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,510
♪ The best of friends forever ♪

27
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,796
♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

28
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,887
♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

29
00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:56,972
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

30
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,847
♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

31
00:00:58,933 --> 00:00:59,813
Yeah!

32
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,907
Oh, man, our one and only Saturday
of the week and we spend it working.

33
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:16,658
Whoever said youth's wasted on the young
must've lived in a condo.

34
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,753
[tires screeching]

35
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,708
[Goofy] Hiya there, Petey!

36
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:24,129
Sure appreciate your letting Max
earn some pocket money over there.

37
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,340
My pleasure, Goof.

38
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:30,339
A boy's never too young to learn
the honest value of an honest dollar.

39
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:35,933
Besides, it's best they start with an
enlightened employer like yours truly.

40
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:39,312
Somebody to ease them into
the harsh realities

41
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,101
awaiting them in the working world.

42
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:43,944
[chuckles] They're in good hands,
all righty.

43
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,860
[yells] What're you doing down there?

44
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,782
I didn't schedule any breaks!

45
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:55,450
So quit resting on your laurels
and go unload them boxes!

46
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,116
Uh, what is all this, Dad?

47
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,462
Eye-popping, customer-grabbing
sales-inducing,

48
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,379
strategic advertising appliances.

49
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,418
If you can beat the sweet cheap
treat of Pete's neat car fleet,

50
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,803
I'll take the heat and eat raw meat.

51
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:14,382
-You'd really eat raw meat?
-[laughs]

52
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:18,887
You don't understand
the concept of advertising, son.

53
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,982
You see, if you don't
stretch the truth a little,

54
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,728
nobody's gonna believe it.

55
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:32,994
Now that's enough gabbing.

56
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:34,319
Get down there and clean the driveway

57
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:37,164
and don't forget to use
the small toothbrushes.

58
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,160
[door slams]

59
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,458
[snoring]

60
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:49,422
Well, go ahead, Peej. Ask him.

61
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,508
Uh, Dad? Great stickers, Dad.

62
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,840
[stammers] Listen, could we, uh,
maybe get, sort of, you know,

63
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,546
paid for the, uh, work we did?

64
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,177
Why, sure, son.

65
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,976
Twenty-five cents for twelve hours work?

66
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,360
[laughs] Sorry, my mistake.

67
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,985
Quarters and nickels look too much alike.

68
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:21,083
I thought we were at least
getting minimum wage.

69
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,329
You can't get much more minimum than that.

70
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,909
I knew we should've joined a union.

71
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:29,247
So, you expect the world handed

72
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,674
to you on a silver platter, is that it?

73
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:36,133
Think you ought to be earning corporate
level, executive-type wages, eh?

74
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,796
I used to walk through snow
five miles deep,

75
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,385
twelve days a week,
just to get to the coal mine.

76
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,811
No time off, not even Arbor Day.

77
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,430
Now that was a real job!

78
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:52,108
Maybe it's time you Rockefellers learned
what it's like in the real world.

79
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,940
Maybe it's time you had a real job!

80
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:02,699
Aren't there child labor laws
in this country?

81
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,954
[sputters]

82
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:08,616
Now you're getting a taste
of the real working world.

83
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,457
[guffaws]

84
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,382
[air hissing]

85
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:33,231
Ah, I love the smell of newsprint
in the morning.

86
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:37,074
Especially when it's a newspaper
running my ad. [laughs]

87
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:41,072
Too bad they got to put
all this news stuff on the front page.

88
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,906
Why, I'm gonna have more customers
than you can shake a dipstick at,

89
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:47,502
thanks to this thin ad.

90
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:49,829
All right, where'd they hide it?

91
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,254
[both screaming]

92
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:54,382
Why, it should've been on page one
for what I shelled out!

93
00:04:54,919 --> 00:05:00,009
What? Why, why, that's not an ad,
it's a wart!

94
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:03,598
Where do they come off charging
15 bucks for the likes of that?

95
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,348
Ooh! They're even bigger crooks than me!

96
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,311
Oh, if I was running this paper,

97
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,691
I'd never pull a low-down stunt
like that on myself

98
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,019
and live to tell about it.

99
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,773
Hmm...

100
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,605
Running my own paper, eh?

101
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,281
[whooshing]

102
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,451
[chuckles] Well, look what dropped in.

103
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:26,120
What kind of grades are you boys
getting in English?

104
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,541
Um... B plus.

105
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:32,420
[stammers] Uh, yeah, I...
I don't remember exactly, Dad,

106
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,789
but I think it started with an F.

107
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:38,127
I suppose you could
do the editorial section.

108
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:41,223
You see, I'm starting my own newspaper

109
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:45,553
and you two are gonna be
my star reporters!

110
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,057
[chuckles]

111
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:53,477
Say, Goof, our boys are turning into lazy,
lifeless slugs, wouldn't you say?

112
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,231
Well, Pete, I...

113
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,483
It's high time they did some growing up,

114
00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,315
learned a trade, don't you think?

115
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,071
Learned to trade what?

116
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:05,072
Why, they're falling behind the times,
losing that competitive edge.

117
00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:05,986
Am I right?

118
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:08,794
Well, Pete... hmm...

119
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,408
Looks like we got some termite
damage in here.

120
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:15,496
If we don't fertilize some good
old American know-how in them boys,

121
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,503
this country's gonna go bottom up!

122
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,245
That's what I thought, too,

123
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,507
but I didn't want to say
anything till I was sure.

124
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,335
-Whoo-hoo!
-[crash]

125
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,015
[clock chimes]

126
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,770
Oh, so that's where
I put them knitting needles.

127
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,364
That's why I'm starting a newspaper

128
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,280
and making our boys reporters.

129
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:45,613
Oof! Our Max and our P.J.? Reporters?

130
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:48,617
Why, the whole future
of this entire universe

131
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,370
of our nation practically depends on it!

132
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,963
You wouldn't want our boys responsible

133
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,539
for the destruction of these
"Untied States", would you?

134
00:06:56,624 --> 00:07:02,464
[groans] If my Max knows one thing,
it's not to destroy the United States.

135
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:03,974
That's from good upbringing.

136
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:08,969
There's only one slight
minor little detail.

137
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:12,217
-What's that?
-We need cash to get started!

138
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,137
If you kick in the front money,

139
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,685
I'll only take 75% of the profits,
instead of my usual 80.

140
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,230
Well, um...

141
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,863
Hey! You're not pulling a fast one on me!

142
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:24,240
[chuckles] You'll take the full 80%!

143
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,872
You know, boys, I used to dream
of being a reporter myself.

144
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,293
Would've made it, too...

145
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,786
If I could've mastered
the English language.

146
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,835
[chuckles] Here we are.

147
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:45,799
Genuine authentic imitation
artificial reporter outfits.

148
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,802
Been keeping them in mothballs
all these years.

149
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,140
[mispronounces]
Voila! If you'll pardon my French.

150
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:59,984
Oh, Maxie. You remind me of you
when you were your age, only younger.

151
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:03,733
Come on, Peej. We're gonna be rich
and famous before supper!

152
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:08,071
Well, now don't go counting
your chickens with a hatchet.

153
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,244
There's lots to know about reporterin'.

154
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,583
And that's why I'm gonna
give you my old book.

155
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,739
Tells you everything
you ever wanted to know

156
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,578
about being a reporter...

157
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,167
[grunts]

158
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,289
But didn't have the sense to ask.

159
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,421
Thanks, Dad!

160
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,205
[clears throat]

161
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,337
[narrator]
How to be a reporter.

162
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,757
Ah, the journalist.

163
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,474
Deeply do we revere
the finest practitioners

164
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,678
of this most illustrious craft!

165
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:39,765
Though even a certified hack
can pull a good six-figure income.

166
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,153
Uh, we still don't know how to start.

167
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,191
[narrator]
Chapter one:

168
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:49,195
The reporter starts by finding a subject
upon which to report.

169
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,949
Bingo!

170
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,778
[narrator] The alert reporter
notes his subject's every move,

171
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,618
missing no detail.

172
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,620
3:15 P.M.

173
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:02,125
An awesome dog was seen burying
a bone in a hole that was, uh...

174
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,208
That was, uh...

175
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,843
-Awesome?
-[P.J.] Works for me.

176
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,878
[narrator]
Chapter two:

177
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:11,054
Journalistic ethics and responsibilities.

178
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,804
Don't get caught.

179
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,810
[dog sniffing]

180
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,774
[snickers]

181
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:30,567
[barking]

182
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,704
The awesome beast chased
the mailman and it was, uh...

183
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:38,906
It was, uh...

184
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,905
Well, how would you describe it, Peej?

185
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,457
Um...

186
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,460
-Awesome?
-Awesome.

187
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,501
[narrator]
Chapter three:

188
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,506
Grammar, spelling, and style.

189
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,929
I before E except after C.
Next chapter.

190
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:57,510
The dog removed a portion of the mailman's
pants that was...

191
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,347
That was uh, uh...

192
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,432
What's a word for "awesome?"

193
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,268
How about awesome?

194
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,270
Naw. Naw, naw.
Something... something bigger.

195
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:10,187
I know! Very awesome.

196
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,410
Oh, hurry it up, Goof!

197
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,870
We got a schedule to keep,
deadlines to meet!

198
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,041
News to make up.

199
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,624
Careful, will you?

200
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:24,705
I paid your hard earned money
for that copying machine.

201
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,875
[grunts]

202
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,307
[screams]

203
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,023
Nothing to it. Ah-hyuck!

204
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,981
[Pete] I'd like to see anybody
not see my ad now!

205
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:54,146
Just make sure it comes out nice
and crisp and clean and big.

206
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,317
-Here's the news that we...
-Yeah, yeah, right.

207
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,026
Just don't disturb your old man.

208
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:02,496
Now don't forget, Goofer,
my picture on every page!

209
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,909
Let me see now.

210
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,667
The paper feed's connected to the platen.

211
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,460
The platen's connected
to the ink-well.

212
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,843
The ink-well's connected
to the spray-hose...

213
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,921
Say, lame brain,
are you sure you know...

214
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,803
what you're doing?

215
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,546
[tires squealing]

216
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:24,177
All right. Now let's get out there
and sell, sell, sell!

217
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,936
Paper, get your paper!

218
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,192
Two for one sale, twice the news.

219
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:32,574
Paper, mister?

220
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,650
Paper, ma'am?

221
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:39,489
Hmm. "Dog buries... [mumbling]

222
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,084
"Awesome... awesome..."

223
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,160
[woman] [mumbles] "Awesome."

224
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,326
[man] I want my money back!

225
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,424
[woman] And I want my money back.

226
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,830
[man 1] I want my money back!

227
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,998
[man 2] I've been cheated.
I want my money back!

228
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,507
[woman 1] I want my money back!

229
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,758
[man 3] You can't do this to me.
I want my money back.

230
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,760
[man 4] I want my money!

231
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,802
Say, what's going on here?
Let me see one of those!

232
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:04,137
The stupid dog... "Awesome...

233
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,234
[mumbles] "Awesome...

234
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,442
"Awesome!"

235
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,020
Why, this is...

236
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:12,265
-Awesome?
-No. Awful!

237
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:13,857
I want my money back.

238
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,862
But, Pete, it's free to family members.

239
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:20,485
This paper isn't worth
the paper it's written on!

240
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,947
It's pitiful, it's preposterous.

241
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,704
Why, it's downright putrid!

242
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,826
Oh, Max? P.J.?

243
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:38,760
Nobody's gonna see my ad
when it's in a piece of garbage

244
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,592
you can smell from a mile off!

245
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,304
[sniffs]

246
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:45,097
Hmm. Got sort of a
Lily-of-the-valley odor.

247
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,431
But if you don't mind my saying,

248
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,846
I think you were kind of hard
on Max and P.J...

249
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,975
-Well, I do mind your saying!
-They're only kids, you know.

250
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:55,073
Just too young to write a paper
people will want to read

251
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:58,400
or know how to shave
with a razor or do taxes or...

252
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,566
Say that again!

253
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,494
Oh, well, they, uh,

254
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,323
don't know how to shave off their taxes

255
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:07,078
or read a razor
or do a thing so it comes out even or...

256
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,752
Goof, you're a genius!

257
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,920
[door opens, closes]

258
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:16,086
Goofer, we're gonna have the biggest
paper this town's ever seen!

259
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:19,721
Finest computer your money could buy!

260
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,892
[coughing]

261
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,977
Look what you went and did!

262
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:37,193
[sighs] Now I got to go out
and buy all new equipment.

263
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,071
[coughs]

264
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,197
[Pete] Come on in, boys.

265
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,742
I'm all ready for my interview.
[chuckles]

266
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,037
Just don't be too rough. [laughs]

267
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,172
Just a couple of questions, Mr. P.

268
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,089
Ooh, Mr. P. I like that.

269
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,209
Be sure and get my good side.

270
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,930
In the last year,

271
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,928
how much did you swindle
your customers out of?

272
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,430
-Swindle?
-That's right. Bilk!

273
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,602
-[P.J.] Scam.
-Hustle!

274
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,850
[P.J.] Do you cheat on your taxes?

275
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,224
-Ever lied to a customer?
-What...

276
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,517
Ever told the truth to a customer?

277
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,190
No! I mean, yes... I mean...

278
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,938
-So you do lie?
-Yes! No!

279
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,440
Yes... maybe... I don't know! I mean...

280
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,444
Hold it!

281
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,855
Hmm...

282
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,526
I get what you're doing.

283
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:26,622
Trying to dig up some dirt
to tantalize your readers, eh?

284
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:27,950
[chuckles]

285
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:31,044
Well, you're not gonna find
any muck to rake around here.

286
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,161
Now what say you go out there

287
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:36,378
and write about my nice,
clean cars at reasonable prices.

288
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:40,459
And don't forget to mention how spic
and span those bathrooms are!

289
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,627
Aw, the kids are already acting
like sleazy journalists.

290
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,718
Ain't that cute?

291
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:51,675
I didn't spend five years in grade school
to write about clean toilets!

292
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,846
You heard what my Dad said.

293
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,312
"Three-headed chicken
gives birth to hockey team."

294
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,438
P.J., that's it!

295
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,685
If we can't find anything
exciting to write about,

296
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,107
we'll do what the pros do.

297
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:05,525
We'll make it up!

298
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,623
Oh, I don't know about this, Max...

299
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,704
We'll have the whole town talking.

300
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:14,826
[P.J.] "Mutant half-human, half-rutabaga,
half-hamster alien

301
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,834
"consumes citizens of Spoonerville.

302
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,456
"Elvis among dozens reported missing."

303
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,593
I really don't know about this, Max.

304
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,881
Don't you think we're stretching
reality just a little far?

305
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,966
Hey, if you don't stretch
the truth a little,

306
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,723
nobody's gonna believe it!

307
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,724
Well, if you say so, Max.

308
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,902
There! That ought to do it!

309
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,572
[screaming]

310
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:57,917
Well, at least that works right.

311
00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,499
And it got that crick out of my neck!
[chuckles]

312
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:04,915
Goof, I want one of these stuffed
in every last copy. Got it?

313
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,586
Got it, Pete!

314
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,715
We're ready! Start the presses!

315
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,602
Now we're cooking with thick black ink!

316
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,640
Set it for 1,000 copies.

317
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,353
Oh, make it 1,001!

318
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,188
And while we're waiting,

319
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:22,609
the double fudge ice cream sundaes
are on Goofy.

320
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,321
'Cause after all,

321
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:28,781
he got this whole thing running for us!

322
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,680
Now remember, don't toss the paper

323
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:55,062
till you see the whites of their eyes.

324
00:16:58,560 --> 00:16:59,770
Move out!

325
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:22,833
[humming]

326
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,843
[sighs]

327
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,051
Hmm... "Half-human,

328
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,722
half-rutabaga, half-hamster..."

329
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:35,971
[chuckles] Them aliens
must be on the metrical system.

330
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:41,728
Hmm, you know there's a certain
familial resemblance

331
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:44,521
between my pal Pete
and that there mutant alien.

332
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:49,739
[screams] Pete is a mutant alien!

333
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,374
[TV playing indistinctly]

334
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,911
Oh! I got to get some shut-eye.

335
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:02,116
I'll have a lot of customers
to fleece in the mornin'.

336
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,997
[Goofy] Petey! Pete!

337
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:06,214
The sound of doofus.

338
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:09,344
Go play on the interstate,
will ya? I'm bushed.

339
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,762
[scoffs] I thought we was best friends

340
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,511
and now I find you've been
keeping secrets from me!

341
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,354
What are you yammerin' about?

342
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:21,100
All these years, and you never once
told me you was a mutant alien!

343
00:18:21,184 --> 00:18:24,104
No wonder you never introduced
me to your relatives.

344
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,058
Wha...

345
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,859
How did I ever let you talk me
into this in the first place?

346
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,487
But, but, but...

347
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,204
Quit making excuses and get those papers!

348
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,869
[screaming]

349
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:58,808
[tires screeching]

350
00:19:07,272 --> 00:19:09,692
[wind howling]

351
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:15,534
This wouldn't be a problem
if it weren't for gravity.

352
00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,036
Whoa!

353
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,376
[growling]

354
00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:38,178
[tires screeching]

355
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,981
[growling]

356
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:50,727
[gulping] Nice doggie.

357
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,938
[barking]

358
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:56,905
[screams]

359
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:22,763
Where'd you find time
to go shopping for new clothes?

360
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,281
[Goofy] [sighs]
Well, that's the last of them.

361
00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:38,361
All 1,000.

362
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:43,618
But didn't you print 1,001?

363
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,712
Hmm... [chuckles] So I did.

364
00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:51,002
I don't suppose one little
paper's gonna hurt anythin'.

365
00:20:51,126 --> 00:20:53,706
-[Max] Hey!
-What's going on, Dad?

366
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:58,625
Boys, you and me
are going to have a long talk

367
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,893
about journalistic ethics and honesty.

368
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:05,640
And how I'm going to tan some hides.

369
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,060
But first, I'm going to get
a two-week sleep. [sighs]

370
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,395
Then we talk.

371
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:20,202
Oh, man, I knew we shouldn't
have put out a paper

372
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,611
with that phony story.

373
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,318
You're absolutely right, P.J...

374
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:25,788
You see, 'cause when you
don't... I am?

375
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:29,289
Television news.
That's where our future is.

376
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:31,754
It's immediate, it's visual,

377
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,960
it's where the big bucks are!

378
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:37,125
Oh, Max, don't do this to me, man.

379
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:38,973
Come on... come here, Max.

380
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:43,643
[yawning]

381
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:50,435
[dramatic music playing on TV]

382
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:52,102
[female newsreader]
Topping tonight's stories,

383
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:55,817
a seriously shocking and sordid
scandal strikes Spoonerville.

384
00:21:55,899 --> 00:21:59,189
Mutant alien Pete devours
innocent Spoonerville citizens

385
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,857
and sells used cars on the side.

386
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:06,946
[Pete screaming]

387
00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:15,674
♪ Gimme a beat ♪

388
00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,052
[theme music playing]

389
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:43,355
Yeah!