AH-HYUCK.
♪ H-H-H-HIT IT ♪
♪ LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON ♪
♪ YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE ♪ YES!
♪ BEST BUDDIES, BEST PALS ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO WORK THINGS OUT ♪
♪ CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE TWO OF A KIND ♪
♪ LOOKIN' FOR A REAL GOOD TIME? ♪
WHAA-OOO-HO-HO!
♪ A REAL GOOD TIME ♪
♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ AND WE'LL ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
♪ ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪
♪ SIDE BY SIDE WHEREVER WE GO ♪
♪ WE'RE ALWAYS READY TO ROLL ♪
♪ NOW GIMME A BEAT ♪
♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ AND WE ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪
GAWRSH. ♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE CALLING EVERYONE ♪
♪ COME ALONG AND JOIN THE FUN ♪
♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
♪ LA DO BE DA BOP LA BA DO BOP ♪
YEAH!
[PJ] HAS ANYONE SEEN MY BALL GLOVE?
[GRRR]
YO, PEEJ! YOU READY?
AW, MAN! WHERE'D YOU GO?
[DOOR SLAMS]
[GRUMBLING]
YO, MR. P!
Yo, Mr. P.
SHAKE IT, PETE, BEFORE IT GETS TOO DARK.
I CAN'T FIND MY GLOVE.
HAVE YOU LOOKED UNDER HERE?
LISTEN, YOU TWO. THIS IS MY DAY OFF.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS RELAX AND READ MY NEWSPAPER
WITH A LITTLE PEACE AND QUIET!
UH, N-NO SWEAT, MR. P. NOT ANOTHER SOUND.
QUIET AS MICE, STILL AS A TOMB, PEACEFUL AS--
PIPE DOWN!
SHH!
[GRRR]
OH, MAN, I GIVE UP. IT'S GONE.
SOMEBODY MUST'VE STOLEN IT.
RIGHT, PEEJ. LIKE BURGLARS BROKE IN YOUR HOUSE
TO SNATCH A BALL GLOVE.
HMM. YOU KNOW, MAX, PJ HAS A POINT.
LOOKY HERE.
"HOME BURGLARIES ON THE RISE.
SOON, ONE HOME IN FOUR WILL BE ROBBED."
TOLD YA.
YOU'RE JUMPIN' THE GUN, SON.
THEY WON'T ROB US. WE'RE NOT NUMBER FOUR.
HUH?
WELL, START DOWN THE BLOCK AND COUNT.
THE TAYLORS. 1.
THE WILSONS. 2.
MY HOUSE. 3.
YOUR HOUSE.
[GULP]
OH, MY GOSH. MY HOUSE!
WE'RE GONNA BE ROBBED! WE'RE GONNA BE ROBBED!
OH, QUICK, SON, GO WARN YOUR DAD.
HA HA HA HA! THAT GOT RID OF THE LITTLE BEAN DIP.
BURGLARS! ROBBERS! THIEVES!
[RATTLE]
WHOA!
WELL, IF THAT DON'T BEAT ALL. AH-HYUCK!
DAD! QUICK! LOCK THE CAT! NAIL THE JEWELRY!
AND HIDE THE DOOR CLOSED!
SLOW DOWN, SON. WHAT'S WRONG?
WE'RE GONNA BE ROBBED!
ROBBED?
YEAH! WE'RE NUMBER FOUR!
RELAX, MAX.
WE'RE TOTALLY SAFE.
NO. NO, WE'RE NOT.
HECK. NO BURGLAR'S GONNA BREAK INTO OUR HOME.
WHY, IT'S UNBREAKABLE.
YOU'RE NOT INSTILLING ME
WITH TREMENDOUS CONFIDENCE HERE, DAD.
OKAY, THEN. WATCH WHAT I DO
EVERY NIGHT BEFORE GOING TO BED.
I DOUBLE-LOCK ALL THE DOORS.
NO CROOK COULD EVER GET BY OLD WAFFLES HERE.
HE'S THE BEST DARN WATCH CAT IN THE WORLD.
BESIDES, I KNOW THAT KARATE STUFF.
HYAH!
HO!
HII!
HEE HEE HEE!
[ROWR]
SORRY, KITTY.
NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME, SON?
WELL...YAAH!
SAY, NEIGHBOR, NOTICED YOUR WINDOW WAS LEFT OPEN.
NOT TOO SAFE, YOU KNOW.
OH, THANKS, PETEY. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO LOCK IT.
YEP. CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL WITH BURGLARS ABOUT.
SEE? EVEN PETE'S LOOKING OUT FOR US.
AAH!
SHUCKS, MAX. WHEN I WAS A KID,
I WAS SCARED OF BURGLARS, TOO. AH-HYUCK!
ONCE I SMEARED BUTTER ALL OVER THE STAIRS.
WHAT DID YOU CATCH?
A COLD. I SLID OUT THE FRONT DOOR
AND LANDED IN A SNOW BANK. AH-HYUCK!
GOOD NIGHT, SON.
YEAH. GOOD NIGHT.
[BELL RINGS]
WHAT'S SHAKIN', MAD MAX?
LISTEN, WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING TONIGHT,
CAN YOU KEEP AN EYE ON OUR HOUSE?
YEAH. NO PROBLEM.
I LOVE SLEEPING LIKE A ZOMBIE.
HA HA HA! GOOD NIGHT, MAN.
[YAWNS]
OW!
AH-HYUCK! BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT.
[CLATTER] [GASP]
WAFFLES, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
GAWRSH! I FORGOT TO TUCK MAX IN.
DOGGONE DOOR.
SOMEONE'S TRYING TO GET IN.
[GRUNTING]
[YAWN]
HE'S HERE!
[MEOW]
OW!
DAD!
OH, NO, DAD. I'M REALLY SORRY.
I'M REALLY SORRY. WAKE UP. PLEASE, PLEASE WAKE UP.
I WANT TO THANK THE MEMBERS OF THE ACADEMY
FOR THIS AWARD. HYUCK!
WOW! WHAT HAPPENED?
UM, I--I THOUGHT YOU WERE A BURGLAR.
YOU REALLY GOT TO CALM DOWN, SON.
IT'S TOUGH ON MY SHINS.
HA HA. OKAY, DAD. I'M FINE NOW.
I LOVE YOU, SON.
NOW GO TO SLEEP.
LOVE YOU, TOO.
DON'T WORRY. I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE
TO PROTECT YOU.
WHOA!
DIDN'T HURT.
DAD'S RIGHT. I'M BEING A JERK.
I'LL LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC.
MY RADIO! IT'S GONE!
THERE REALLY IS A BURGLAR!
OHH...
GOOD LOOK ON YOU.
I DIDN'T SLEEP A WINK.
STAY UP FOR THE "TWILIGHT ZONE" MARATHON?
I AM THE "TWILIGHT ZONE."
I WAS ROBBED, PJ.
CRUSTY!
YEAH. SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY ROOM LAST NIGHT.
MUST HAVE BEEN 10 FEET TALL.
I ALMOST CAUGHT HIM, BUT HE SWIPED MY RADIO.
GEEZ! FIRST MY GLOVE AND NOW THIS.
LOOKS LIKE I WAS RIGHT.
YOU WERE NUMBER FOUR AFTER ALL.
YEAH. WE'RE JUST NOT SAFE.
NOW I'LL NEVER GET ANY SLEEP.
YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
LIKE WHAT?
UH,
THE ANSWER'S JUST AS SIMPLE AS YOU ARE.
GET A SECURITY SYSTEM.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED.
HA HA HA HA!
THIS I GOT TO SEE.
DAD! DAD!
WHOA! OW!
SORRY, MR. G, BUT MAXIE HAS A RIGHTEOUS IDEA.
OH, YEAH? WHAT IS IT?
A SECURITY SYSTEM FOR THE HOUSE.
A WHAT? [PJ] A BURGLAR ALARM.
LOOK, MAX, I THOUGHT WE SETTLED THIS.
BUT, DAD...
AS LONG AS YOUR DAD IS ON THE ALERT,
WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY BURGLAR ALARM.
SO, UH, HOW'D IT GO, FELLAS?
CRASHED AND BURNED.
DAD THINKS WE'RE ALREADY SAFE.
YEP. SOME FOLKS WON'T DO ANYTHING
TILL IT'S TOO LATE.
I'D SAY THAT GUY NEEDS TO BE ROBBED.
MR. P, THAT'S IT. WE'LL HAVE A BURGLARY.
YEAH, BUT, MAX, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN A BURGLAR'S GONNA BURGLE?
OH, IT'LL HAPPEN MUCH SOONER THAN YOU THINK.
[SNORING]
HEE HEE HEE HEE!
[ROOSTER CROWS]
OOH... MAN, AM I BEAT.
[HUMMING]
OHH...
NEED SOME COFFEE.
THIS'LL WAKE ME UP.
STRONG STUFF.
WHAT?
I'VE BEEN ROBBED! ROBBED!
HELP! HELP! THIEVES!
HA HA HA HA HA!
LOOK AT THAT!
ROBBERS! BURGLARS! CROOKS!
HA HA HA! YOU TELL THEM, GOOF!
GET THE MARINES! GET THE POLICE!
GET THE NUMBER FOR 911!
[LAUGHTER]
[PJ] CHECK IT OUT.
HO HO HO HO!
[MAX] AH, DAD.
HA HA!
HIYA, POP.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
HEY! THAT'S OUR MISSING STUFF.
YEAH. WE STOLE IT.
HA HA. HOPE YOU'RE NOT SORE, MR. G.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
THAT'S THE POINT, DAD. BEING RIPPED OFF ISN'T FUNNY.
GAWRSH. MAYBE I'M NOT AS ALERT AS I THOUGHT.
SO CAN WE GET A SECURITY SYSTEM?
YOU BET.
WAY COOL!
AND WE'LL MAKE IT OURSELVES.
BUT, DAD, DON'T YOU WANT ONE OF THOSE PROFESSIONAL JOBS
WITH THE SENSORS AND BELLS AND LASERS AND MISSILES?
NOPE. TOO EXPENSIVE.
OURS WILL BE JUST AS SNAZZY.
YOU WATCH. WE'LL START AS SOON AS YOU MOVE
ALL THIS STUFF BACK IN THE HOUSE.
YOU SURE THIS STUFF IS GONNA WORK?
HECK, YEAH. ANY CROOK DUMB ENOUGH TO WALK THROUGH HERE
IS IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE.
WHOOPS. FORGOT MY SAW.
WHOOPS! WHOA!
BOY, FOR SOMETHING SO STUPID,
THAT SURE SMARTS. AH-HYUCK!
[SAW BUZZES]
[HAMMER POUNDS]
PJ, WHAT'S ALL THAT RACKET?
MR. G AND MAX ARE BUILDING THEIR OWN SECURITY SYSTEM.
WHY, THOSE ROCKET SCIENTISTS
ARE PESTERING MY PEACE AND QUIET!
BURGLAR ALARMS. HAH!
WHAT A BUNCH OF SCAREDY-GOOFS.
THEY GOT A LOT OF NERVE.
AAH! MY BENCH SAW!
[LAUGHING]
QUICK! CALL THE FBI! CALL THE CIA! CALL THE PTA!
WHAT'S WRONG, TINSEL TUSH?
MY NEW $2,000-PLUS-TAX BENCH SAW--GONE!
I NEED SECURITY!
YES, SIR, PETE, YOU'VE MADE A WISE CHOICE.
THIS IS THE WORLD'S FINEST SECURITY SYSTEM,
OR MY NAME'S NOT BATTLIN' BIFF BOFFO.
IF SOME DIRTBAG MANAGES
TO SURVIVE THE FENCE AND THE LASER BEAMS,
THIS 50-GAUGE STEEL WILL KEEP HIM OUT.
HMM, STYLISH, TOO.
DON'T YOU THINK SO, SWEETUMS?
HOW MUCH?
ONLY, UH, 30,000.
ARE YOU NUTS? WE DON'T NEED ALL THIS.
IT'S LIKE SWATTING MOSQUITOES WITH A BAZOOKA.
NO, MA'AM.
WE SAVE THE BAZOOKA FOR THE SALESMEN.
WITH A SINGLE BUTTON,
INTRUDERS ARE YESTERDAY'S HASH.
OOH. NOW THAT'S FIREPOWER.
AND THE BEST PART-- IT'S FULLY AUTOMATIC.
WELL, GOTTA CONTINUE MY WAR ON CRIME.
SO LONG, TROOPS.
LET'S MOVE OUT, MEN!
HUT-2, HUT-2, HUT-2, HUT-2.
HUT-2, HUT-2...
COOL!
[SNORING]
DAD! DAD!
HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SAFE PETE'S HOUSE IS?
NOPE. I WORE MYSELF OUT MAKING US SAFE.
LOOKS PRETTY GOOD, DON'T IT?
OH. YEAH, DAD, REAL SNAZZY.
CAN I SLEEP OVER PJ's TONIGHT?
DON'T YOU WANT TO TEST OUT THE NEW--
THANKS, DAD. BYE.
GEE, KITTY, GUESS IT'S JUST YOU AND ME NOW.
TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL TAKE THE FIRST WATCH TONIGHT.
[SNORING]
OKAY. REST EASY.
OL' GOOFY'S ON THE JOB.
OH, YEAH. I REALLY FEEL SAFE OVER HERE.
LOOKS LIKE TONIGHT I'M FINALLY GONNA GET SOME SLEEP.
[BIFF] GOOD. EVERYONE'S ASLEEP.
FOLLOW ME, YOU DIM BULBS.
[BANG]
WHAT WAS THAT?
HEH HEH HEH! I LOVE THIS PART.
FIRST WE SELL 'EM, THEN WE ROB 'EM.
[DOOR UNLOCKS]
BURGLARS!
OKAY, BOYS, STRIP THE JOINT.
WAIT. DON'T YOU WANT THE VAN KEYS?
UH, PUT 'EM IN MY POCKET, OKAY?
GOTTA STOP THEIR GETAWAY.
[CRASH]
HOT DOG! BURGLARS!
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BOZO!
GOTTA TELL DAD.
I--WAIT. I CAN'T-- UH-OH...
GRRR!
GIVE ME THEM KEYS.
BOSS!
BOSS! BOSS! HELP!
BOSS, COME HERE!
HE'S GOT OUR KEYS.
PJ! SOMEBODY! HELP!
MAX!
HELP!
OHH! TRAPPED! I GOTTA HELP MAX!
OH, THESE STUPID SAFETY SCISSORS.
AAH!
DAD! DAD!
DAD, WAKE UP!
DAD?
MURRAY, YOU TAKE THE BASEMENT.
MOOSE, FOLLOW ME.
HEY, THIS WAS EASY.
[ALARM BUZZES] UH-OH.
WHOA!
WHOA-AAH!
DAD, WHERE ARE YOU?
OKAY, KID, HAND OVER THOSE KEYS,
OR I'LL MUSH YOU LIKE BANANA FRITTERS.
OH!
HUH! WHAT DO YA KNOW? IT REALLY WORKS.
[GOOFY, WAFFLES SNORING]
DAD!
DAD, WAKE UP!
GET THAT PIPSQUEAK!
DAD'S STAIRBLASTER.
WHOA!
IT'S LAUNDRY TIME.
AAH!
GOTCHA! OH!
[GRUNTING]
OH, BOY!
[SNORT]
ONE GIANT BUTT FOR MOOSEKIND.
[RING]
OH!
HELP!
FOR THE LAST TIME--
GIVE ME THOSE KEYS!
WHAT'S THE MATTER? GETTIN' TIRED?
THE KEYS, KID. HAND THEM OVER REAL NICE.
I'M WILLING TO DISCUSS IT.
YOU'RE GONNA BE RAVIOLI!
SORRY. CHANGED MY MIND.
ALL RIGHT, DAD!
FORGET THE KEYS. FORGET THE LOOT.
I JUST WANT OUT!
NO!
IT CAN'T BE.
OH! OH! OH! AAH!
JUST HAD A CHAT WITH THE POLICE.
LET US OUT! LET US OUT!
[SIREN]
[POP]
[MEOW]
HUH? WHAT? HEY!
HEY, RIP VAN WINKLE,
YOU MISSED ALL THE EXCITEMENT.
I DID? IT WAS FANTASTIC.
YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM WORKED GREAT.
SEE? TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY
WITH YOUR OLD DAD AROUND.
WHAT SAY WE GET SOME SHUT-EYE?
[YAWN] YEAH. I'M POOPED.
UH-OH.
HEY, LET ME IN! LET ME IN!
HEY, LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!
HEE HEE HEE HA HA HA!