Ah-hyuck!
♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪
♪ Like father, like son ♪
♪ You're always number one ♪
[both] Yes!
♪ There's buddies, There's pals ♪
Yeah!
♪ You always seem to work things out ♪
♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪
♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪
♪ A real good time ♪
Aah!
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
♪ And we'll always stick together ♪
♪ Always stick together ♪
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪
♪ We're always ready to roll ♪
♪ Now gimme a beat ♪
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
♪ And we always stick together ♪
Gawrsh!
♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪
♪ The best of friends forever ♪
♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪
♪ Come along and join the fun ♪
♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪
♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪
Yeah!
[Bif] Fact or fiction? You decide!
I'm Bif Fuddled, and this is odd facts,
strange stuff, and things too weird to fake.
Ah-hyuck! Golden age of tellyvision!
[gulps]
Come on out, I gotcha covered.
Max! Whatcha doin' in there?
I'm fishin' for loose change.
There's this cool video game I just gotta have,
but I'm a quarter short and I...
Yes!
Button.
Say... uh, Dad?
You wouldn't wanna slide me an advance on the old allowance, would ya?
[Goofy] You're already advanced clear to your seventh year of high school.
[Max] High school doesn't go seven years.
[Goofy] It did for me.
[man on TV] First up, a fabulous fortune!
-As in money? -That's right!
Obscene amounts of cashola, dinero, do-re-mi!
Our story begins off the coast of Spoonerville...
Hey, that's our town!
Here we are at Scarier Reef. Far below asleep in the deep
lies the legendary treasure of the Pirate Nearbeard.
Treasure? Forget the video game. I could buy a whole arcade!
Yeow!
Hey, I found a quarter for ya, Max! Ah-hyuck!
Max?
Now, I'm gonna need a boat.
[Pete whistling]
You call that a plan?
Me ask my dad to take us fishin'?
You wanna get rich, don't you?
-Yeah. -Attaboy.
Then we need your dad's boat to find the treasure.
Testing!
Forget it, Max.
Awww, Peej, fishin' with your dad. What could be more fun?
Eating glass.
You got any idea what fishin' with him is like?
Not to mention when I turn green, and toss three meals a day!
I'll be in there tossin' with ya!
We'll stick together like Lewis 'n' Clark,
like Chip 'n' Dale,
like... peanut butter and sardines.
No. Forget it, Max. No way!
You cannot talk me into this one.
Every time. How does he do it? Every... single... time.
"Turbo blast," hmmm.
"50 megatons of power in a convenient, spill-proof bottle."
-[PJ] Ahem! -Yeah?
Hi there, Dad.
Y'know, we really oughta spend more time together.
Hi, there, Dad, you know we really ought to spend more time together.
Yeah, right. What for?
You know, Dad, I would really like it if you'd take m-me, uh...
Say it!
Fishin'.
You would? Gee, son, ya mean it?
No--yes. When I sit on your bended knee,
there is no son as pleased as me.
For of them all, I am most glad
"...that I'm your boy and you're my dad.
Happy father's day, love, Max-- Oops!
That I'm your boy and you're my dad.
Happy father's day, love, Max.
Oh, that's so sweet.
Love, Max?
Uh, I mean, I'd love to maximize my time with you.
Dad, let's go fishin'!
Well, all right.
Ah-hyuck!
My boy wants to follow in my footsteps.
Welcome aboard, son.
Ah-hyuck! Great! We'll have a grand old time.
-Peej. -Max.
What do you mean you got a little problem?
Maybe problem's too strong a word.
Nothing's wrong with the father-son fishing plan.
C'mon, Max!
Just got one too many fathers.
[whistle blows]
C'mon, son. Your voyage to manhood's about to shove off.
Max, you're coming along, right?
Yeah, oh, yeah, just gimme a minute.
A minute? Shucks, we've got all day!
Uh, well, I was sorta hopin' to go with P.J. over there.
Oh, you can hang out with P.J. anytime. Today it's just the two of us.
[stammering]
Max!
Oh. Forget them goofs. We're gonna have some real fun.
Peej!
Some fun, eh, kiddo?
[P.J. groaning]
Gawrsh, son, got a nibble already?
[Pete] Outta the way! [laughs]
Gangway!
Ya got a whopper!
Maaaaxx!
You're doin' great, son, don'tcha think y'oughta give 'er a little slack?
[screaming]
Max!
The perfect spot. Nobody for miles.
Whoooaaaaah!
Hey! Leggo my boat!
Ahoy, Pete! Ah-hyuck!
[screams]
If those goofs are fishing here, we're not.
[panting] That was your great, fantastic plan?
Hey, we're together, aren't we? Now, nothing is going to keep us apart.
Garwsh, Max. Thought ya wanted to go fishin' with me.
Oh, yeah, right, just the two of us.
That way, nobody else will know
about your secret fishing spot.
Secret fishing spot?
Gawrsh, didn't even know I had--
You know. Where the big ones are biting.
Goof, mi amigo, buddy, ol' pal, ol' neighbor, ol' chum,
I think we oughta stick together.
[Max] There it is. Scarier Reef.
Weigh anchor!
Oof! Ayeee!
What about Mr. G.?
Well, the sea's a harsh mistress, my boy.
[panting] Anchor's weighed. She's about a ton.
Urmph... urk, Dad?
Yeah, I know, son. Cute, ain't it?
Here. I'm gonna show you how to hook the man-sized ones.
Hyuck! Here ya go, Max. Now to find some bait. Let's see.
-When are we gonna look for gold? -As soon as we ditch the dads.
-How? -New plan.
-I hate this. -You'll love it.
-You get to hit me. -Really?
Yeah, but I get to hit you... first!
[Max] Is not!
Dad, P.J. says Pete's a better fisherman than you.
[sobbing]
Say, what do you mean lettin' your kid hit my kid
just for tellin' the truth about your lame self?
Oh, now, Pete, don't get yourself all riled.
Of course, I am better fisherman.
Oh, yeah?
-Well, maybe I am. -Well, I say I am.
-I am. I am. I am. -I am. I am. I am.
Gimme that! I'll show ya fishin'!
Here, Dad!
Worked like gangbusters.
[P.J.] Wait a minute.
How's my dad's fish finder gonna find gold?
We set it for goldfish, Einstein.
Whoa, that's pretty high tech stuff, man.
-Are you sure you know what you're doin'? -One button. Piece of cake.
[beeping]
Yeah!
The nerve of that flathead. Fishin's my life. Grew up on COD.
Tuna think I'm the big kahuna.
[laughs] That's a good one.
-What? -[humming]
[laughs]
Guess the sea monkeys aren't bitin', Mr. Big-time Fisherman!
Now, looky here, Goof. Got me a big one!
Ah-hyuck! Cute li'l feller.
[laughs]
Yeow!
[robotic voice] Fish finder 5000 operating.
Please enter the fish of your choice.
Flounder, sturgeon, shark, goldfish.
All right! Goldfish!
It's right under us!
-Yes! -Yes!
-[Pete] That's it! I'm leaving! -Now? We're so close.
Secret fishin' spot, my squiggly squid.
I'm not wasting my time here. Raise anchor!
Quick, get me a big fish!
Huh?
-Is this big enough? -No, but it will be.
Pete's going to love this one.
It's my boat. I decide where we're gonna fish!
And I say--
we're fishing right here.
-Drop anchor! -Okey-dokey.
Old Goof lips will be crying in his root beer when he sees this puppy!
Now, here's one for the record books!
[raspberry]
[chomp]
Yeow!
Lots of spunk for a little guy.
Umph! We're outta here right now!
Excellent idea, sir! We'll get the anchor.
Yeah, we'll get the... What?
We're leaving?
Aww, Peej, ye of little faith. You drop me to the bottom.
I'll hook the anchor to the chest. End of nautical nightmare,
beginning of a rich and famous lifestyle!
You mean we get to go home?
Aah!
-You had to pick a heavy treasure. -Heavy's good! You want heavy.
That means lots to go around.
Hey, quit playing with that anchor.
We're gettin' out of here now, see!
[man] Attention! Attention!
You're advised to return to harbor.
A major storm is approaching Spooner Bay. Rain, thunder.
Lightning?
You heard him, Pete, better skedaddle!
Ohh, I get it. Wanna quit while you're ahead, eh?
Tryin' to show me up in front of my boy, huh?
Nothin' doin', Goof! Drop anchor! We're staying!
No!
We just--
Storm or no storm, there's a big fish out there with my name on it.
[Max straining] No, I deserve this.
I have this coming to me.
C'mon, Max! Storm's comin'!
Gotta batten down the hatches!
[tires squealing]
Stow down! Steer clear! Sit tight! Stay cool!
Lash yourselves to the mast! It's a hurricane!
Aah! Ow!
[grunts]
Dad, don'tcha think we should be goin' home?
Nah, it's just a drizzle.
Your old man's not beat yet! We'll show the goofs how real men fish!
Just a squall!
Ugh! Peej! C'mon, help me!
-Forget it, Max. -Aah!
So this is what they mean by "Yo, ho, blow the man down!"
[all] Shark!
-Aah! -Aah!
[boing]
I think we've got a little problem.
Back in business!
First Mate P.J., front and center!
B-B-But, Dad!
That's an order, sailor!
Belay that order! Back! I'll come there!
Aah! Help! Aah!
[straining]
[P.J.] Cut it out!
Hey. What's up, guys?
My boaaaat!
She's still in one piece.
-No! -No!
Abandon ship!
Abandon it? I haven't paid for it yet!
TV, VCR, CD, hi-fi, shortwave, longwave, microwave,
recliner, pool table, Jacuzzi, and...
My rubber duckie.
[crying]
Everything...
Sunk!
We're not moving.
Max, what're ya doing?
Carry-on luggage?
My treasure!
Treasure? Daddy needs a new boat.
[squealing tires]
My treasure, your dad? This guy'll eat anything.
I'll save you, Skipper!
[squealing tires]
[both scream]
Your plan just keeps gettin' better, Max.
Hey, I can adapt.
Whooooaaaa!
[all screaming]
Whoooooaaaaa!
Hello! I'm Bif Fuddled!
Yeah, I'm a little confused myself.
No, I'm Bif Fuddled, and you're on TV!
You've just recovered the legendary treasure of Near Beard!
Fact or fiction?
Fact! Every word!
And not only that, I also captured that shark over there
with my bare hands.
[spectators] Ooh!
Millions of people are watching. What do you say we open her up?
Rich and famous in one shot.
[spectators] Ahh!
That's my treasure! I worked for it!
C'mon, lemme through!
Oh, bad break! It's a Pistoosa!
Everybody knows that Pistoosas are worth less than nothing.
Let's look at the bar graph.
Huh?
What do you mean with that nothin' stuff?
[spectators] Boo! Hiss!
A fake shark, sir?
Well, this show will not resort to cheap trickery.
Expensive, yes. Cheap, never!
Wait a minute! Don't I get anything outta this?
On a scale of 1 to 10, I give this plan a Pistoosa.
All I wanted was one lousy quarter.
I had so much fun fishin' with ya, Max, I almost forgot.
Found it in the sofa.
Way to go, Dad!
See? Told you it'd be easy.
♪ Gimme a beat ♪
[theme music playing]
Yeah!