1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:02,422 AH-HYUCK. 2 00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,629 ♪ H-H-H-HIT IT ♪ 3 00:00:04,629 --> 00:00:06,799 ♪ LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON ♪ 4 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,178 ♪ YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE ♪ YES! 5 00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:12,095 ♪ BEST BUDDIES, BEST PALS ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪ 6 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,095 ♪ YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO WORK THINGS OUT ♪ 7 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,387 ♪ CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE TWO OF A KIND ♪ 8 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,811 ♪ LOOKIN' FOR A REAL GOOD TIME? ♪ 9 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,440 WHAA-OOO-HO-HO! 10 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,107 ♪ A REAL GOOD TIME ♪ 11 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,105 ♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪ 12 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,777 ♪ AND WE'LL ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪ 13 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,775 ♪ ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪ 14 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,397 ♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪ 15 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,664 ♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪ 16 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,236 ♪ SIDE BY SIDE WHEREVER WE GO ♪ 17 00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:39,623 ♪ WE'RE ALWAYS READY TO ROLL ♪ 18 00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:41,252 ♪ NOW GIMME A BEAT ♪ 19 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,579 ♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪ 20 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,594 ♪ AND WE ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER ♪ 21 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,587 GAWRSH. ♪ WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪ 22 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,469 ♪ THE BEST OF FRIENDS FOREVER ♪ 23 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,848 ♪ NOW WE'RE CALLING EVERYONE ♪ 24 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,675 ♪ COME ALONG AND JOIN THE FUN ♪ 25 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,430 ♪ REPORT TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪ 26 00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,772 ♪ LA DO BE DA BOP LA BA DO BOP ♪ 27 00:00:58,767 --> 00:00:59,847 YEAH! 28 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,153 PJ: AXED BY ADDITION! SLAIN BY SUBTRACTION! 29 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,608 (SIGHS) 30 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,988 EVERY TIME I SEE A NUMBER, I FREAK OUT! 31 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:12,195 I'M GOING TO FLUNK MY MATH FINAL FOR SURE! 32 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,657 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 33 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:18,580 SO, HOW'S DADDY'S LITTLE EINSTEIN? 34 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,788 (STAMMERING) UH... 35 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,078 FINE, DAD! RELATIVELY SPEAKING. 36 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,752 HA-HA! IT'S A JOKE. 37 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,250 JUST TRYING TO GET THIS MATH THING THROUGH MY HEAD. 38 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:29,262 WHY, YOUR HEAD CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT IT TO. 39 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,415 YOU GOT MY BRAINS IN IT! 40 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,184 WHAT SAY DADDY GIVES YOU A LITTLE POP QUIZ? 41 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,637 WHOA! 42 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,678 NOW, WHAT'S FIVE TIMES 12 TO THE TENTH POWER 43 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,482 DIVIDED BY EIGHT MINUS THE SQUARE ROOT OF SIX? 44 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,805 - WELL, UM... - AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, 45 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,480 HOW MANY FEATHERS DOES A MONGOOSE HAVE? 46 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,148 AND WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER? 47 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,556 AND HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK, 48 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:47,654 IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD? 49 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,689 I CAN'T EVEN SAY THAT! 50 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,073 HA! YOU THINK THAT'S HARD? 51 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,910 YOU KIDS HAVE IT EASY. 52 00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:58,325 WHY, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I FOUGHT FOR AN EDUCATION! 53 00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,826 HAD TO TRUDGE 20 MILES THROUGH THE SNOW 54 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,539 AND DEFROST MY PENCIL TO TAKE A TEST! 55 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,829 WOULD'VE GOT MY PH. AND MY D, 56 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:09,343 IF I HADN'T EXCEEDED THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS ON HIGH SCHOOL. 57 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,297 BUT NOW I'VE GOT A SON 58 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,927 TO PICK UP WHERE I DROPPED A GRADE POINT. 59 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,716 AHH, YEAH, UM... 60 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:21,220 BUT WHAT IF-- THIS IS JUST IF--I FLUNK? 61 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,354 FLUNK? 62 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,560 AND MAKE MY BRAINS LOOK BAD? 63 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,612 IT'S A SIMPLE EQUATION! 64 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:28,935 YOU'RE GONNA PASS THAT TEST 65 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,900 IF YOU HAVE TO STUDY ALL NIGHT, SEE? 66 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:34,950 FLUNK AND YOU'RE GROUNDED FOREVER! 67 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,945 (DOOR SLAMS) 68 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,413 (WHIMPERING) 69 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,793 MAX! MAX, YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME! 70 00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,211 MAX! 71 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,672 NUMBERS FREAK YOU OUT, HUH, BUD? 72 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,144 WELL, YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST GUY 73 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,465 I SAVED FROM AN INVERTED FRACTION. 74 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:03,561 NOW, I COULD HELP YOU CHEAT ON THE TEST... 75 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:08,058 OR I COULD MAKE YOU A MATH GENIUS FOR LIFE! 76 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,573 BRAINS OVER CON. 77 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,988 BRAINS IT IS. 78 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,316 WE'LL START WITH THE EASY STUFF. 79 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,992 WHAT'S 2 PLUS 2? 80 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,830 OKAY, I KNOW THAT ONE. UH, 2 PLUS 2... 81 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,735 UM, 2 PLUS 2 IS, UM, 4, 82 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,124 AND 4'S 8, AND CARRY THE 2-- UH, JUST A MINUTE. 83 00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,541 16 AND 2'S 18! 84 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,419 NO, NO, DIVIDE BY 4, IS UM... 85 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:29,996 (SIGHS) 86 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,291 NO WAIT, WAIT! DON'T TELL ME, MAN. 87 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,054 IT'S ON THE TIP OF MY TOENAIL! 88 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,206 UM, LET'S SEE... 89 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,724 5 TIMES 448 MILLION, AH, IT'S... 90 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,466 UM, UM... 91 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,968 I THINK THIS IS GOING TO TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES. 92 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,600 OH, DRASTIC IS GOOD! I LOVE DRASTIC. 93 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,847 I'LL DO ANYTHING TO PASS THIS TEST! ANYTHING! 94 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,810 UH, CAN I RETHINK THAT? 95 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,982 HEY, TRUST ME, PEEJANO, MY MAN. 96 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,441 WHEN I'M THROUGH, 97 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:56,031 YOU'LL MAKE EINSTEIN LOOK LIKE HOWDY DOODY. 98 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,987 ANSWER RIGHT AND YOU GET THIS! 99 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,871 A FUDGY WUDGY BAR. MMM, YOUR FAVE! 100 00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,909 BUT ANSWER WRONG, AND THE YOKE'S ON YOU! 101 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,123 (BUZZER BLARING) 102 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,214 - ARE YOU READY? - UH-UH! 103 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,499 WHAT'S THE SQUARE ROOT OF 9! 104 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,802 UH, ROOTS AREN'T SQUARE, MAN. 105 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,585 THEY'RE LONG AND STRINGY AND-- 3! 106 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,298 FARMER NEEDS 400 POUNDS OF NAILS TO BUILD A BARN. 107 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,628 HOW MANY APPLES WILL IT HOLD? 108 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,973 WHAT DO APPLES HAVE TO DO WITH-- 109 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,178 - (BUZZER BLARING) - HIS WHOLE CROP! 110 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,507 WHAT'S THE LOGARITHM OF 12? 111 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,852 THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF A CIRCLE? 112 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:24,967 HOW MANY CHICKENS DOES IT TAKE 113 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,473 TO CROSS THE ROAD? 114 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,394 WHAT KIND OF ANGLES DOES A SQUARE ROOT HAVE? 115 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,023 RIGHT. JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. I, I-- 116 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,520 RIGHT ANGLES IS CORRECT! 117 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,573 WHAT'S 2 PLUS 2? 118 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,526 UH, 4? 119 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,145 - 4 PLUS 4? - 8. 120 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,702 - 8 PLUS 8? - 14. 121 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,655 - (BUZZER BLARING) - 16! 122 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,655 MAX, NO MORE! I'M GOING TO BE SICK! 123 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,158 YOU'RE GOING TO BE BRILLIANT! 124 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,660 BUT ANSWER WRONG AND THE YOKE'S ON YOU! 125 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,041 (ECHOING) THE YOKE'S ON YOU! 126 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,158 THE YOKE'S ON YOU, 127 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,044 THE YOKE'S ON YOU... 128 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,668 COME ON, PJ! THE BUS IS HERE! 129 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,262 Pete: TOAST, SON? 130 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,010 TWO SLICES OR THREE? 131 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:07,102 2 PLUS 3 IS 5! MINUS 2 IS 3! MINUS 2 IS 1! 132 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,848 OKAY, SO YOU CAN ADD! 133 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,520 WANT AN EGG? 134 00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,728 (SCREAMS) 135 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:14,558 OKAY, NO EGGS! 136 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:18,744 SAY, DON'T TELL ME YOU WANT A CANDY BAR FOR BREAKFAST? 137 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,895 (SCREAMS) 138 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,525 DOWN, PJ, DOWN! 139 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,203 (BABBLING) 140 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,913 AND TOAST AND JELLY AND ON THE SIDE A PIECE OF... 141 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:39,878 SAY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM? 142 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,471 HE MEMORIZED THE MATH BOOK 47 TIMES. 143 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,547 I THINK HE'S GOT NUMBERS ON THE BRAIN. 144 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,892 HUH? 145 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:49,057 OH, PLAYING SICK, EH? 146 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,307 TRYIN' TO GET OUT OF THAT TEST, EH? 147 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,769 WELL, YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, SEE? 148 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,109 I WAS A FOOL WAY BEFORE YOU WERE BORN! 149 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,395 I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE GOT BLISTERS ON THE BRAIN 150 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,649 OR WATER ON THE KNEE! 151 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,280 YOU'RE NOT MISSING THAT TEST! 152 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,737 NOW GO OUT THERE AND UPHOLD THE FAMILY IQ! 153 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,792 (CHATTER) 154 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,286 OKAY, PEEJ, NOW CRANK UP THOSE BRAIN CELLS! 155 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,829 YOU'RE GOING TO ACE THIS BABY, I KNOW IT. 156 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,594 2 PLUS 2 IS 4, TIMES 8 IS 32, 157 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:22,796 TIMES 4 IS 38, MINUS 2 IS 36, PLUS 5 IS 30... 158 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,219 Max: CIRCUMFERENCE OF A CIRCLE! 159 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,138 LOGARITHM OF 12! 160 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,927 40 AND 6 TO THE 23rd POWER! 161 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,851 ANSWER WRONG AND THE YOKE'S ON YOU, 162 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:35,440 YOU, THE YOKE'S ON YOU! 163 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:40,936 (BELL RINGS) 164 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,652 SO, EINSTEIN JR., 165 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,032 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO ACE A TEST? 166 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,870 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S ALL A BLANK. 167 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,946 BUT YOU MEMORIZED THE BOOK! 168 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,661 YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOTTEN 'EM MOSTLY RIGHT, RIGHT? 169 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,623 HALF RIGHT? 170 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,963 PJ, A QUARTER RIGHT? 171 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,629 ALL I REMEMBER IS FLYING EGGS AND STUFF! 172 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,968 MAX! WHAT IF I FLUNKED? 173 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,625 FLUNKED? OH, NO! 174 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,343 WHEN YOUR DAD FINDS OUT, YOU'RE GONNA BE... 175 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,474 GROUNDED FOR LIFE! 176 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,521 OH, MAN, DAD WILL GET MY REPORT CARD 177 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,805 TOMORROW IN THE 3:30 MAIL! 178 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:19,019 ONLY 23 HOURS AND 14 MINUTES LEFT TO GO! 179 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:24,152 IT'S LIKE, AWFUL KNOWING WHEN YOUR LIFE'S GONNA END. 180 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,992 AW, PEEJ. 181 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:29,528 WAIT A MINUTE. IT'S NOT OVER YET! 182 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,162 YOU GOT 23 HOURS AND 14 MINUTES 183 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,910 TO DO EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO DO IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE! 184 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:38,964 EVEN THE STUFF I'D GET KILLED FOR? 185 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,378 WHAT'VE YOU GOT TO LOSE? PJ, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT ANYWAY. 186 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,296 OKAY, I WANNA EAT 200 GORILLA BURGERS. 187 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,563 - CHECK. - WATCH ALL 12 MUTILATOR MOVIES. 188 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,015 - GOT IT. - OH, 189 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,385 RIDE DOWN HAIRPIN HILL IN A SHOPPING CART. 190 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,692 A MUST. 191 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,345 GOTTA KISS CYNTHIA SNODFREW. 192 00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,943 YEAH! OLD PERSIMMON LIPS! 193 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:04,188 OH! AND GO ON THE THREE WORST RIDES AT TERRORLAND! 194 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,702 WHOA! WELL, IT IS YOUR FUNERAL. 195 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,066 OKAY LET'S MOVE IT. 196 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,572 YOUR REPORT CARD COMES AT 3:30. 197 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,703 OH, MAN, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 198 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,412 WE GOT TO GO TO SCHOOL! 199 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,912 NOT IF WE'RE SICK WE DON'T! 200 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,384 SICK? COME ON, MY DAD DOESN'T LET ME STAY HOME 201 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,916 UNLESS I'M A WALKING CORPSE! 202 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,709 YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND. 203 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,887 SO, UH, WHAT LOOKS GOOD TODAY? 204 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:35,385 OUTER MONGOLIAN WORRY WARTS OR PERUVIAN PUS FACE? 205 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,560 AH, WE'LL MIX 'EM AND MATCH 'EM. 206 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,059 THE GROSSER THE BETTER. 207 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,898 - WELL, I DON'T-- - (SPLATTER) 208 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,396 YUCK! 209 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,728 EVEN IF YOUR DAD DOES SEND YOU TO SCHOOL, 210 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,574 NO WAY THEY'D LET YOU IN. 211 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,990 I ALWAYS KNEW BROCCOLI WAS GOOD FOR SOMETHING. 212 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,327 MAN, YOU OUGHTA BE HANGING IN A GALLERY. 213 00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,038 YOU'RE A WORK OF ART! (SMACKING LIPS) 214 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,460 - (ALARM CLOCK RINGING) - Pete: (GROANING) PJ? 215 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,629 (YAWNING) RISE AND SHINE! 216 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,167 IT'S SHOW TIME! 217 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,469 Pete: COME ON, UP AND AT 'EM! 218 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,429 DAD, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD. 219 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,481 CAN I STAY HOME? 220 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:22,478 (SCREAMING) 221 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,650 (STAMMERING) 222 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,530 YOU'RE DISINTEGRATING! 223 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,445 QUICK! EMERGENCY! 224 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,447 GET HIM... (SHOUTING GIBBERISH) 225 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,369 DAD, IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD. 226 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,788 GIMME A SIREN! I MEAN, AN AMBULANCE! 227 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,827 MY KID'S SICK WITH THE CRUD! 228 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,125 - (SIREN BLARING) - HUH? 229 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,795 OKAY, PJ! THE COAST IS CLEAR! 230 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:54,802 HUH? 231 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:04,688 CAREFUL! EASY! HE MIGHT FALL APART ANY MINUTE! 232 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,358 OH, NO! 233 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,186 HELP! 234 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,861 AW, DON'T WORRY, SON. 235 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,740 DADDY WILL GET YOU SPACKLED BACK TOGETHER! 236 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,584 (GROANING) 237 00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,785 COME ON! OUTER MONGOLIAN WORRY WARTS 238 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,541 AND PERUVIAN PUS FACE! 239 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,133 AND THIS KID'S GOT 'EM BOTH! 240 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,129 CALLING DR. CHASM. REPORT TO SURGERY PLEASE. 241 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,432 DR. CHASM, REPORT TO SURGERY. 242 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,734 (SOBBING) 243 00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,845 THE POOR LITTLE KID! 244 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,562 IT'S ALL MY FAULT! 245 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,733 I MADE HIM STAY UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING. 246 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,033 (SNIFFLING) 247 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,357 USED TO YELL AT HIM 248 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:59,033 FOR SQUEEZING HIS TOOTHYPASTE FROM THE WRONG END. 249 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:02,374 MADE HIM JOIN GUM POPPERS ANONYMOUS 250 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,790 AND KISS HIS LITTLE SISTER IN PUBLIC. 251 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,496 AND BRUSH THE DOG'S TEETH 252 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,841 AND USE A MANLY DEODORANT 253 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,837 AND WASH HIS SHOES BEFORE HE CAME IN THE HOUSE! 254 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,890 I EVEN MADE HIM USE A HANDKERCHIEF! 255 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,005 (SOBBING) 256 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,932 DELIVERY FOR ROOM 202. SIGN HERE, PLEASE. 257 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,061 HMM, SECOND ONE TODAY. 258 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,272 OKAY, WELL, WE'LL NEED A FULL BLOOD PANEL, 259 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,983 A BELLY BUTTON SCAN, AND A COMPLETE NOSE HAIR ANALYSIS. 260 00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,824 WAIT! UH, I'M AWFULLY WEAK. 261 00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,149 CAN I COME BACK NEXT YEAR, PLEASE? 262 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,784 DON'T WORRY. NOTHING TO IT. 263 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:39,411 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 264 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,327 NO! WAIT! OKAY, OKAY, I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING! 265 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,996 BUT ONLY IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO TELL MY DAD! 266 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,955 Max: (OVER P.A.) CALLING DR. HOWARD, 267 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,035 DR. FINE, DR. HOWARD, 268 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,251 REPORT TO SURGERY, PLEASE. 269 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,335 NO! NO! DON'T OPERATE! OKAY! OKAY! I GIVE! I GIVE! 270 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,261 I'M NOT REALLY SICK! 271 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,810 OH, YES, YOU ARE! 272 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:07,806 GANGWAY! GOT AN EMERGENCY HERE! CODE PURPLE! HEADS UP! 273 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:08,941 - CLEAR THE ROAD! - (PEOPLE SHOUTING) 274 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:09,977 WHOA! 275 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,647 AND THEN ONE TIME, 276 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,031 I MADE HIM PLUCK THE DOG HAIRS OUT OF THE CARPET 277 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,488 WITH TWEEZERS 278 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,118 AND SENT HIM TO OBEDIENCE SCHOOL 279 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,985 WHEN HE WOULDN'T CLEAN UP HIS ROOM. 280 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,451 (SOBBING) 281 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,962 I JUST WANT HIM TO FORGIVE ME, 282 00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:30,575 AND IF THAT AIN'T THE TRUTH, MAY I GET STRUCK BY A-- 283 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,383 WHAT THE... 284 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:40,681 SO HE TRIED TO PULL THE BROCCOLI OVER OUR EYES! 285 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,347 MR. PETE? YOUR SON IS GONE. 286 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,176 (SCREAMING) 287 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,141 HE MELTED AWAY! 288 00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,863 GONE TO THAT GREAT BIG PLAYGROUND IN THE SKY! 289 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:55,025 NO, HE TOOK OFF! SPLIT! VAMOOSED! 290 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,815 BUT HE LEFT THIS! 291 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,236 HUH? 292 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,987 "STUFF I WANNA DO ON MY LAST DAY." 293 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,910 (WAILING) WHAT A KID! 294 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,409 (BLUBBERING) 295 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,001 GOING OUT WITH A BANG, 296 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,826 JUST LIKE I WOULD'VE DONE! 297 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,922 I GOTTA GET HIM TO FORGIVE ME 298 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:17,837 WHILE THERE'S STILL SOMETHING LEFT! 299 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,629 NO! NO! NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! 300 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,846 C'MON, PEEJ! ONLY THREE HOURS 41 MINUTES LEFT! 301 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,677 WHA... WHO... HUH... 302 00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,692 PJ! 303 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,725 HOLD TOGETHER, SON! PAPA'S COMIN'! 304 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,398 THREE HOURS, 30 MINUTES TO GO! 305 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,453 WE'VE GOTTA MOVE AT WARP SPEED, DUDE! 306 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:54,042 OH, NO! I LOST MY LIST! 307 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:56,292 NO PROBLEMA. I KNOW IT BY HEART! 308 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:59,764 FIRST UP, 200 GORILLA BURGERS! 309 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,836 Man: YOU WANNA BE COOL WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL? 310 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,642 HUNKY MONKEY FANS, CHEW ON THIS! 311 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:07,887 THE GORILLA BURGER! TWO POUNDS 312 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,809 OF TONGUE-TANTALIZING MYSTERY MEAT! 313 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:14,439 EAT QUICK, PAL! STILL GOTTA SEE ALL 12 MUTILATOR MOVIES! 314 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,807 (GOBBLING) 315 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,274 Pete: TWO HUNDRED BURGERS? 316 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,284 MUST'VE BEEN ALL THOSE TIMES 317 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,566 I SENT HIM TO BED WITHOUT SECONDS! 318 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:29,334 PJ, I'M SORRY! 319 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,536 PJ! 320 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,420 HOLD IT, BUB! 321 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:44,804 I'M GIVING YOU A TICKET FOR JAY-DRIVING! 322 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,471 NO, PLEASE, MY KID... 323 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,469 I'LL NEED YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE 324 00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:50,271 AND A SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER 325 00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,265 AND A MAJOR CREDIT CARD, 326 00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,137 AND A BIRTH CERTIFICATE, 327 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,484 ENLISTMENT PAPERS, IF YOU SERVED, 328 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,819 ENLISTMENT PAPERS IF YOU GOT DISCHARGED... 329 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:04,530 NOW WATCH 'EM QUICK, PEEJ, WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! 330 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,621 (CHAINSAW REVVING) 331 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,985 TOTAL SENSORY OVERLOAD! WHAT A BLAST, HUH? 332 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:12,374 (MUFFLED GROANS) 333 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:15,540 UH-OH, THAT'S ALL THE GORE WE GOT TIME FOR. 334 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:19,670 ALL 12 MUTILATOR MOVIES? 335 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,049 (SOBBING) AND I ALWAYS CALLED HIM YELLOW! 336 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:26,298 (SOBBING) FORGIVE ME! 337 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,891 AW, TELL IT TO THE JUDGE! 338 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,011 SON, SON! 339 00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:37,149 UH, MAX? MAYBE WE OUGHTA TRY SOMETHING TAMER. 340 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:39,855 LIKE, SKY-DIVING OFF THE TRUMP TOWER! 341 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,700 WHEN MY BEST BUDDY'S LOOKIN' AT LIFE IN PRISON WITH NO PAROLE, 342 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,735 I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM MISS HIS LAST CHANCE TO BREAK HIS NECK! 343 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:53,040 PJ, WAIT FOR DADDY! 344 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,116 (SCREAMING) 345 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,371 (SCREAMS) 346 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,924 MAX, YOU HEAR SOMETHING? 347 00:15:59,918 --> 00:16:03,208 IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, I'D SWEAR THAT SOUNDED LIKE DAD! 348 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,263 NAH! 349 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,466 (GASPING) 350 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:12,930 KID'S TAKING THAT HILL LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW! 351 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:16,101 OH, SON! DON'T CUT YOUR LIFE ANY SHORTER 352 00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,351 THAN IT ALREADY IS! 353 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,232 (GASPING) 354 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,574 PJ! 355 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,452 (SIREN WAILING) 356 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:35,949 YOU AGAIN? 357 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:37,374 (BELL RINGING) 358 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:40,634 (SCREAMING) 359 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,003 MY BABY! 360 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:49,379 MY BABY! 361 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,386 SOME FUN, EH, PJ? 362 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,308 CHECK IT OUT! 363 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,266 CYNTHIA SNODFREW! 364 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,727 WASN'T KISSING HER ON YOUR LIST? 365 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,768 (SMACK) 366 00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:01,770 EW! 367 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:04,606 (COUGHING) 368 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,568 OH, THE POOR KID! 369 00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,783 STARVED FOR AFFECTION! 370 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:17,163 I NEVER SHOULDA STOPPED KISSING HIM GOOD NIGHT! 371 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,785 (TIRES SCREECHING) 372 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,709 (SCREAMING) 373 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,588 "HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR KID TODAY?" 374 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,338 PJ! 375 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:36,434 Man: WELCOME TO TERRORLAND, THE SCARIEST RIDES ON EARTH! 376 00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,351 GUARANTEED TO RATTLE YOUR CAGE 377 00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:41,020 AND SPILL YOUR GUTS OR YOUR MONEY BACK! 378 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,818 THAT'S MY BOY! 379 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,146 DOESN'T WANNA GO SLOW AND PAINFUL, 380 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:52,452 WANTS TO GO FAST AND PAINFUL! 381 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,817 FIFTEEN MINUTES TILL YOUR DAD GETS YOUR REPORT CARD! 382 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,664 WE'VE STILL GOT THREE THRILL RIDES AND 10 BURGERS TO GO! 383 00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,160 Pete: SON! SON! 384 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,373 IT'S DAD! 385 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:02,713 DON'T WORRY, I'LL STALL HIM! 386 00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,137 LET GO, I'VE GOT TO TALK TO MY KID! 387 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:17,505 NO, NO! YOU SEE, HE'S CONTAGIOUS TILL 3:30! 388 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,394 OH, ME? WELL, I GOT ANTIBODIES. 389 00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:23,351 YOU, YOU GOT A FAMILY! YOU CAN'T TAKE THE RISK! 390 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:26,863 WHAT ARE YOU... (STAMMERING) CONTAGIOUS? 391 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,856 WELL, I GUESS I CAN WAIT 14 MINUTES. 392 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:33,529 MEANWHILE, SHOW HIM A BANG-UP TIME ON HIS OLD MAN! 393 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,070 (SCREAMING) 394 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,425 NINE MINUTES AND COUNTING! 395 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:58,347 Max: MAN, ARE YOU BRAVE! 396 00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,516 IT'S THE BARREL OF FUN! 397 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,765 (MUMBLING) 398 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,016 (SCREAMING) 399 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:05,899 (MECHANICAL RATTLING) 400 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:19,533 TWO MINUTES TO GO! 401 00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,454 SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST, 402 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:23,373 THE HAMMER SLAMMER! 403 00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:30,841 PEEJ, BEFORE YOU'RE GROUNDED FOREVER, 404 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,837 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW... 405 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,799 YOU'RE THE BEST BUD I EVER HAD! 406 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:38,139 I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING THE CHERRY ON MY SUNDAE. 407 00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,636 THE FOAM ON MY ROOT BEER. 408 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,967 THE CRUD UNDER MY FINGERNAILS. 409 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,563 GO AHEAD, MAX. (HICCUPPING) 410 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:45,729 DO IT. 411 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:48,441 (SOBBING) WHAT A GUY. 412 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,232 (CLANGING) 413 00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,828 I CAN'T LET HIM GET POUNDED TO A PULP 414 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,655 BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO FORGIVE ME! 415 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,001 I GOTTA CHOOSE, 416 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:08,786 KILLER GERMS OR LIFELONG GUILT! 417 00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:12,172 JUMP, SON! DADDY WILL SAVE YOU! 418 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:19,139 ONE MINUTE 12 SECONDS! GO! GO! GO! 419 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,600 YES! WE DID IT! 420 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,864 ERR... SON! 421 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,189 I WANT YOU TO KNOW 422 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,994 ALL THOSE NASTY HORRIBLE THINGS I DID TO YOU 423 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,817 WERE DONE WITH ONLY THE BEST INTENTIONS, 424 00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:43,833 SO IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE... 425 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,037 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 426 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,246 HANG ON, I'LL GET IT. 427 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,417 HELLO? DR. HOWARD? 428 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:52,456 I CAN'T TALK NOW, MY KID ONLY HAS MINUTES TO LIVE! 429 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:54,210 NO, HE DOESN'T. 430 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,722 HE'S GOT A COMMON AILMENT AMONG SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN 431 00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,795 WITH TEST PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. 432 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,260 IT'S CALLED FAKING. 433 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,601 FAKING? WELL, THAT WILL BE FINE. 434 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,136 FAKING? 435 00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:11,056 DAD, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD. 436 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,362 WHY'D YOU CUT SCHOOL OVER A STUPID TEST? 437 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:16,646 WELL, 'CAUSE YOU SAID IF I...FLUNKED, 438 00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,361 I'D BE GROUNDED FOR LIFE! 439 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,411 WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 440 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:21,985 THINKING I'D REALLY GROUND YOU FOR LIFE? 441 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,830 I'D NEVER GROUND YOU FOR LIFE! 442 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,195 HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YOU? 443 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:28,251 DO AS I THINK, NOT MEAN WHAT I SAY! 444 00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:30,286 JUST FOR THAT, YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE! 445 00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,999 MILKSHAKE, I'M HOME! 446 00:21:35,003 --> 00:21:38,423 AND PJ'S REPORT CARD CAME IN THE MAIL. 447 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:42,803 NOW SEE THERE, SUGAR CONE? HE GOT AN "A" IN MATH! 448 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,682 AN "A"? 449 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:53,610 YAHOO! MY KID WITH MY BRAINS GOT MY "A"! 450 00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:57,725 SON, WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE! 451 00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,784 I'M TREATIN' YOU TO EVERYTHING YOU LIKE! 452 00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:02,408 TERRORLAND, MUTILATOR MOVIES, THE WORKS! 453 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:04,615 I'M BUYIN' YOU 200 GORILLA BURGERS! 454 00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:06,906 NO, NO, NO, 300 GORILLA BURGERS! 455 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:09,410 AND THEN, WHEN YOU ACE YOUR SCIENCE TEST NEXT WEEK, 456 00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,962 I'LL BUY YOU 600! 457 00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,826 (LAUGHS) 458 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,713 AIN'T LIFE GRAND?